In his book Start With Why, Simon Sinek asserts:

All the great and inspiring leaders and organizations in the world all think act and communicate in the exact same way and it’s the complete opposite of everyone else.

Almost every organization starts by telling you what they do – the feature of their product or service. Some then explain how they do it – their differentiating value proposition. Very few communicate (or even know) why they do what they do – their purpose or cause.

But the inspired leaders and organizations do just the opposite. They start with why, explain how and then communicate what.

For more on the Start With Why concept including a 18 minute TED talk Sinek presented on the topic, see my post on Christian Web Trends, The Secret to the Success of Apple, MLK and the Wright Brothers

Trolling for Transactions

When you start by telling people what you do – your products, services, features, etc. – you are appealing to people’s self-interest. You are telling people:

• Buy my product because it will improve your life.
• Purchase our service because it will benefit you.
• Volunteer with our organization because you’ll feel good about making a difference.
• Come to our church because we have good services.
• Put your child in our school because it’s in their best interest.

You are trolling for a transaction.

The relationships you have with customers/members/students/volunteers are low-quality self-serving relationships that will only last as long as they see it as being in their self-interest.

This is how most individuals and organizations operate, but there is a better way, a higher-calling.

(Wo)Man on a Mission

Inspired leaders and organizations start with why. They tell you what they believe and inspire you to join their cause. This is easy to see in a lot of non-profits.

“Compassion International exists as a Christian child advocacy ministry that releases children from spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty and enables them to become responsible, fulfilled Christian adults.” There’s no appealing to self-interest there. Compassion inspires you to join them in sacrificing for this cause.

But starting with why is not limited to non-profits.

• Apple believes to its core in thinking differently and challenging the status quo.
• Chick-fil-A’s official statement of corporate purpose says that the business exists “To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us. To have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A.”
• Disney’s mission statement is “To make people happy.”
• OurChurch.Com’s mission is to partner with Christians and help them achieve their mission online.

People don’t buy what they do, they buy why they do it. They join these companies because they are inspired to join their cause.

How about you? Are you starting with what or starting with why? Are you trolling for transactions or inspiring people to join your mission.

A couple weeks ago I posted the spoken word video Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus, which has now surpassed 16 million views.  Catholic priest Claude (Dusty) Burns aka Fr. Pontifex responded by creating a video of his own titled Why I Love Religion, And Love Jesus.  He makes some great points, so in the interest of equal opportunity, have a look.

I think it’s great the way both videos have stirred thought and conversation about Jesus and religion. What do you think?

As we celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. today, let us remind ourselves of some of the things he said.  But let us not stop there for though we have made much progress since Dr. King’s lifetime, his dream has not been fully realized.  Let us continue to stand up again injustice and for justice, against violence and for peace, against hate and for love.

May these 53 statements made by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. inspire you to action.

1. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
2. Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.
3. We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.
4. Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.
5. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.
6. Make a career of humanity. Commit yourself to the noble struggle for equal rights. You will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in.
7. I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits.
8. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
9. We are determined here in Montgomery to work and fight until justice runs ‘down like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream.’
10. True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice.
11. Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.
12. The soft-minded man always fears change. He feels security in the status quo, and he has an almost morbid fear of the new. For him, the greatest pain is the pain of a new idea.
13. Faith is taking that first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
14. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.
15. Now is the time to lift our national policy from the quicksand of racial injustice to the solid rock of human dignity.
16. The church must be reminded that it is not the master or the servant of the state, but rather the conscience of the state.
17. Love is somehow the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality.
18. A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.
19. A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.
20. All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
21. An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
22. An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
23. At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.
24. Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.
25. Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
26. He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.
27. History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.
28. I am not interested in power for power’s sake, but I’m interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good.
29. I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
30. If a man hasn’t discovered something that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.
31. If physical death is the price that I must pay to free my white brothers and sisters from a permanent death of the spirit, then nothing can be more redemptive.
32. It is not enough to say we must not wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.
33. Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’
34. Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.
35. Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.
36. The means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek.
37. Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.
38. Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
39. Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.
40. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
41. Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
42. The time is always right to do the right thing.
43. The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.
44. The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood.
45. The quality, not the longevity, of one’s life is what is important.
46. The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be… The nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.
47. War is a poor chisel to carve out tomorrow.
48. We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.
49. We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.
50. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.
51. We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
52. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.’… I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
53. From every mountainside, let freedom ring. When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, ‘Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Which is the most meaningful to you? What are you doing to continue working towards Dr. King’s dream?

If you’ve kept Jesus at arms length because you dislike religion, guess what, Jesus didn’t care much for religion either.  This video by Jeff Bethke is an amazing, compelling and creative explanations of the difference between Jesus and religion.  Have a look.

If you’re intrigued by this irreligious Jesus and how he can transform your life, you can read more about him here.

If you know people who have thrown out Jesus because of religion, I hope you’ll share this with them.

Check out this great video created by Christ Church of the Heartland to the music of Matthew West.

I’m a big advocate of settings goals. So, I was very surprised and intrigued when I got an email from Jeff Goins with the subject: Planning for the New Year: Why Goals Are a Waste of Time

In it Jeff writes:

Goals don’t work, and resolutions are a waste of time. For the first time in awhile, I’m not going to bother with any silly plans or projections for the new year.

What you need instead is one crucial ingredient: resolve. Not resolutions; resolve. The willingness to commit to a new way of living.

How do you do this? By creating hew habits. (Leo Babauta taught me this.)

I did this — stopped setting goals and started creating new habits — this year, and it made all the difference.

He goes on to list the many successes he had in 2011 with this approach.

Jeff is a very insightful guy, and this strategy obviously worked for him. Because it’s so radical from my own way of doing things, my mind hasn’t been able to let it go.

Good Habits are Productivity Multipliers

Good habits are productivity multipliers because they help you do things quickly without thinking about them. You probably have habits and routines for all sorts of tasks like mowing the lawn, to cleaning the house, to cooking a meal, to checking and responding to email.

Let’s say I want to visit my friend who lives 50 miles away. If I step out my front door and start walking, no amount of goal setting or will-power is going to get me to his house before dark. What I need is a new way of thinking, a new way of living, a new habit. I need to stop walking and bike it. (Or even better, tap into the power of automation and external power sources and drive a car.)

In that respect, I think Jeff is right. Often what keeps us from achieving our dreams are bad habits and poor organization. We need better systems.

Not the whole story

But with all due respect, I don’t think Jeff gave us the whole story in his blog post.

Some of the accomplishments Jeff listed included launching a new blog, getting a book deal, publishing a few ebooks, changing jobs, and running a half-marathon.

The habits that produced these results?

• Started getting up early
• Over-committed and over-delivered
• Reached out and made new friends
• Practiced generosity

Those are great habits to be sure, but if you do those things will you end up with a popular new blog, a book deal, and a medal for completing a half marathon? Not necessarily.

Somewhere along the way Jeff must have set goals for launching a new website, getting a book deal, completing a half marathon and the rest. He may not called them resolutions, or set a specific date or even written them down. But at some point those became goals that he decided to pursue. (Right Jeff?)

Walking may be inefficient, but if I don’t know where I’m going, neither a bike nor a car is not going to get me there faster.

If you want to succeed, it’s important to have both clear goals and good habits.

I think the reason why Jeff’s article has stayed on my mind is because I may be where he was last year. I’ve got a pretty clear idea of what my goals and dreams are. I need to put more attention on developing the habits that are going to empower me to get there.

What do you think? Are goals a waste of time? Have you set goals for 2012? Are you putting more emphasis on clarifying goals or developing better habits?

If you want 2012 to be better than 2011, this is a critical week to making that happen. Next week, the craziness of the new year will start back up again – work, school, kids activities, meetings, church stuff. This is the week to prepare. Here are…

6 Steps to Making 2012 Your Best Year Ever

(And thanks to a thesaurus, I got all of them to start with the letter D)

1) Downtime

If despite your best efforts to manage life before Christmas you still ended up wearing yourself out with decorating, shopping, parties, school programs, baking, and so forth, the first thing you need to do is rest. When I am really tired, I have little capacity to dream about the future. The present problems seem to big. The risks are too great, the pitfalls too many, the effort required too great. Rest is required above all else to get in a frame of mind to start thinking about the next year in a positive way.

2) Dream

Everything that exists was created twice. First it was created I the mind of the person who created it. Then it was physically implemented. If you want to have a great 2012, it starts with visualizing specifically what you want 2012 to look like.

Do you see yourself taking that next step in your career? Do you see your family being closer? Do you see yourself being more loving, more patient, more focused, more giving?  What get’s you excited and makes you’re heart beat faster?  How do you want to change the world next year?

3) Discuss

After you dream a bit and before you commit to pursuing those dreams, talk about those dreams with the people who would be key in helping to make them become a reality. Talk about your dreams with your spouse, your kids, your boss or business partners, your trusted friends who encourage and advise you. Pray about them.

What kind of feedback are you getting? Are they with you? Do they support you? Are they cautioning you against certain things? Listen as objectively as you can.

4) Decide

Which dreams are you going to pursue in 2012? What are your specific, measurable goals? You can’t do everything. You must make choices. There are costs to pursuing your dreams. Are you willing to pay them?

5) Devise

Devise your plans for how you’re going to pursue your dreams in 2012. You won’t magically reach your goals in 2012 without a plan. Make the plans as detailed as you can, but most importantly, figure out what your very first step is.

6) Do

Once you’ve got your dreams, your goals, and your plans for 2012, just do it! Take that first step. Then take the next step. Then the next. There will be bumps in the road. You will probably have to make adjustments to your plans.  But every journey begins with a first step, including the journey to making 2012 your best year ever.

Where are you in process of pursuing your dreams in 2012?

Spread some Christmas joy this season by sharing some of these Christmas quotes and lyrics from Christmas carols on Facebook, Twitter or wherever you like.  Thanks to everyone who sent me suggestions via Facebook and Twitter.

1. A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. -Garrison Keillor (via @lindyireland)
2. Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall -Larry Wilde (via @p_toi)
3. He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. -Roy L. Smith (via @txwikinger)
4. It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air. -W.T. Ellis (via @txwikinger)
5. It is not the gift, but the thought that counts. -Henry Van Dyke (via @Avi8trgurl228)
6. Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves. ~Eric Sevareid (via @Avi8trgurl228)
7. Christ makes it Christmas. -Kimberly Reynolds @qwikrme_
8. He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. -Roy Smith (via @ptarkkonen
9. A pirate is for life, not just for Christmas. -unknown (via @CaptRobLee)
10. Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. -Calvin Coolidge (via @philip10khor)
11. Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone. -Charles Schulz (via @tygrebright)
12. Christmas is a time to remember with gratitude the joy and wonder of my childhood. More importantly it is a time to reflect on the pain and sadness suffered buy those children not so fortunate as myself who are barely existing in our overcrowded and violent world. -Richard Townsend (@rictownsend)
13. I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. – Bernard Manning (via @Iceburner)
14. Jesus is the reason for the season. (via @64rdb64)
15. Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. -Norman Vincent Peale (via @sallykwitt)
16. Silent night, holy night, All is calm, all is bright, Round yon Virgin Mother and Child, Holy Infant so tender and mild, Sleep in heavenly peace, Sleep in heavenly peace. -Silent Night (via @TiaanJonker)
17. He rules the world with truth and grace, And makes the nations prove, The wonders of His righteousness, And wonders of his Love -Joy to The World (via @TVisio)
18. If we think of our heart, rather than our purse, as the reservoir of our giving, we shall find it full all the time! -David Dunn
19. Giving yourself is the greatest gift of all. -unknown
20. Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. -Luke 2:10 (via @neal_diamond)
21. Christmas is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas. -Dale Evans (via @jessicastubbs)
22. The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. -Burton Hillis
23. May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through! -Unknown
24. Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. -Washington Irving
25. Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. -Peg Bracken
26. Even as an adult I find it difficult to sleep on Christmas Eve. Yuletide excitement is a potent caffeine, no matter your age. -Carrie Latet
27. Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love! -Hamilton Wright Mabie
28. When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? -G.K. Chesterton
29. Remember This December, That love weighs more than gold! -Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon
30. A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away. -Eva Logue
31. Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. -Janice Maeditere
32. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone. -Taylor Caldwell
33. Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ. -Bart Simpson
34. The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. -Jay Leno
35. I heard the bells on Christmas Day; their old familiar carols play, and wild and sweet the word repeat of peace on earth, good-will to men! -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
36. Let us keep Christmas beautiful Without a thought of greed, That it might live forevermore To fill our every need, -Ann Schultz
37. That it shall not be just a day, But last a lifetime through, The miracle of Christmastime That brings God close to you. -Ann Schultz
38. This year, may your Christmas truly be white instead of leaving you in the red. -unknown
39. Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving love to those who need it most. -Ruth Carter Stapleton
40. “Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more.” -Dr. Seuss
41. Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests. -Luke 2:14
42. Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient & always to be kind. -Helen Steiner Rice
43. Christ was born in the first century, yet he belongs to all centuries. He was born a Jew, yet He belongs to all races. He was born in Bethlehem, yet He belongs to all countries. -George W. Truett
44. If you hitch your wagon to a star, be sure it’s the Star of Bethlehem. -Spencer Walton
45. Let’s approach Christmas with an expectant hush, rather than a last-minute rush. -unknown
46. Wise men still seek Him. -unknown
47. Little Baby, I am a poor boy too, I have no gift to bring, That’s fit to give the King, Shall I play for you, On my drum? -Little Drummer Boy
48. All Hail! Lord, we greet Thee, Born this happy morning, O Jesus! for evermore be Thy name adored. Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing; O come, let us adore Him, Christ the Lord.
49. Do you wonder As you watch my face If a wiser one, should of had my place But I offer-all I am For the mercy-of your plan Help me be strong -Breath of Heaven
50. A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! O night divine, the night when Christ was born; -O Holy Night

Which of these quotes or lyrics is most meaningful to you?

Got any others I missed?

Check out the video of this exceptional Christmas lights display choreographed to the music of Amazing Grace.

Perhaps the best part is that we can enjoy the beautiful lights and music without having to spend hundreds of hours or thousands of dollars to set it up.’

It can be a struggle to navigate through busyness of the season and maintain an attitude of peace, joy and anticipation. To help with that, I’m referring back to a post I wrote last year

12 Tips to Reduce Stress and Live Intentionally During the Christmas Season

Today we’re reviewing, discussing, and giving away a copy of Mary’s Son by Darryl Nyznyk. Keep reading to learn how you can win a free copy.

Mary’s Son is a modern-day Christmas tale first told by author Darryl Nyznyk in front of the fireplace during his daughter’s sleep-over birthday party. It’s the story of two angry young people bent on their own destruction, who are visited by a mysterious old man just before Christmas. He tries in vain to help them until, in desperation, he whisks them back in time to witness the first Christmas. They learn the real meaning of both Christmas and their own lives.

It’s a heart-warming, family friendly story along the lines of Miracle on 34th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life and Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol. It’s no stretch to imagine it being made into a movie some day.

Get a Free Book

If you’d like a free copy of Mary’s Son, all you have to do is

1. Retweet this post or share it on Facebook, and
2. Post a comment answering the question: what’s your favorite Christmas story of all time? (If it’s the original story of Christmas found in chapter 2 of Luke in the bible, let us know your second favorite story as well,) Be sure to include in your comment the Facebook or Twitter profile where you shared the link, too.

One person who has shared and commented will be selected around 5 PM Eastern time Wed. 12/7 to receive a free copy.

Of course, you can also buy a copy of Mary’s Son on Amazon. And for a limited time the Kindle edition is only $0.99!