Happy Mother’s Day!

If you’ve got a mom or know a mom or want to honor moms one way you can do that is by sharing a thoughtful message online.  Here are 6 graphics you can use to do that.  Each includes a link to where you can share it on Facebook.

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If you come across any other good Mother’s Day graphics, post a link in a comment.  Have a great Mother’s Day!

All Pro Dad: 7 Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids is an excellent playbook for fatherhood.   You can read my review plus share and comment for a chance to win a signed copy here.   Mark Merrill has filled the book with lots of gems of wisdom.   Here are 25 of my favorites.

Introduction

1. Leading a family is the hardest job a man can ever have. –Dave Ramsey

2. Our job as dads is to stay the course and to persevere when trouble comes our way, even during the darkest and most difficult hours of our children’s lives.

3. People think love is soft and weak, but it is really a sign of strength. –James “JB” Brown

4. Love is not a feeling; it is a decision. Love is an act of the will to be patient, kind, gentle, humble, sincere, compassionate, giving faithful, trusting, forgiving, uniting, and persevering.

5. Hail Mary passes don’t work in fatherhood. Fathering is all about a dad moving the ball forward in his relationship with his child, one yard at a time, day in and day out.

Makeup

6. Image is how we think others view us… Identity is who we really are.

7. You were created exclusively by God and for God… There were no flaws in your design & no errors in your construction.

8. Our children need to know that we love them for who they are, not for what they do.

Mind-set

9. Real masculinity is based on two things – relationships and having a cause beyond yourself. –Joe Ehrmann

10. Think of your role as a father as being your job – your most important job – because it is. That should be your mindset.

11. Your job is not that of a general contractor… Your job is that of CEO in your home.

Your Motive

12. Don’t follow your heart, lead your heart.

13. The problem with following your heart, as most people define it, is that you are just chasing whatever feels right at the moment, even though it may not be right.

14. A father who leads his heart pushes aside what he wants to make himself happy and determines that he will do what’s best for his family.

Method

15. People often say “Time is money.” I say, “Time is love.”

Model

16. As a father, you are influencing your children all the time. They are watching you.

17. To be a great prototype for our kids to follow, we must be models not only of integrity but also of humility and courage.

18. If you are married, the very best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother.

Message

19. Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve. –MLK

20. Your pain handled rightly, can turn into your passion and your message to the world.

21. This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. –George Bernard Shaw

22. Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that because that’s what the world needs, people who have come alive. –Howard Thurman

Master

23. Sooner or later, life is going to drop you to your knees. You have to decide whether or not you’re going to look inward or upward. If you look inward, you will find emptiness. If you look upward, you find strength beyond anything you can imagine.

24. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world. –CS Lewis

Conclusion

25. You must be forever expanding your capacity to love in order to expand your capacity to lead in your home.

I hope you’ll join me in raising the value of fatherhood and encouraging fathers by tweeting & Facebooking some of these quotes, the whole post or the giveaway/review of All Pro Dad.  And your a father or love someone who is, you’ll definitely want to buy a copy of All Pro Dad.

Which of these quotes resonate with you?  Got any other quotes about fatherhood you’d like to share in a comment?

Today we’re reviewing, discussing, and giving away two signed copies of the brand new book All Pro Dad by Mark Merrill. Keep reading to learn how you can get a signed copy.

Just as knowing and executing the fundamentals of football are key to an NFL player becoming an All-Pro, knowing and executing the fundamentals of fatherhood are key to a father becoming an All Pro Dad. In All Pro Dad, Mark Merrill writes that to effectively execute those fundamentals, every father must know these seven essentials:

1. Makeup – know your identity
2. Mind-set – know your purpose
3. Motive – know why you do what you do
4. Method – know how to better love your family
5. Model – know how to live with integrity
6. Message – know what you’re trying to say with your life
7. Master – know who or what you’re living for

In addition to sharing his own insight, Mark interviewed Tony Dungy, Wayne Huizenga, Jeb Bush, James “JB” Brown, S. Truett Cathy and several others fathers and shares their perspective on these 7 principles in the book.

Personal Thoughts

Mark Merrill writes with both the experience of a father of five and the humility of a man who acknowledges he still doesn’t always get it right.

In the book he cites one of my favorite quotes from former Steelers head coach Chuck Noll who said:

Champions are champions not because they do anything extraordinary but because they do the ordinary things better than anyone else.

All Pro Dad is an excellent “playbook” for fatherhood because of that same principle. You won’t a find a bunch of trick plays, gimmicks or quick fixes. Instead you’ll find the insight and encouragement to help you become a more fundamentally sound father each and every day.

Whether you’ve been a father for 20 years or are about to become one for the first time, whether you’ve read dozens of parenting books or none at all, and whether you had an amazing father, a horrible father or no father at all, you can learn from All Pro Dad. I think you’ll find it well worth the read.

In fact, All Pro Dad would be a great book to read, discuss and put into action with a bunch of other dads.

If you’d be reading and discussing a chapter a week for 7 weeks either offline (in the Tampa area) or online through blog posts and possibly a weekly chat, let me know. If there’s enough interest, we can make it happen.

Discussion:

1. What do you think the fundamentals of being a great dad are?
2. What are you doing to become a better dad to your kids?

Win a Signed Copy of All Pro Dad

If you’d like to win one of two signed copies of All Pro Dad, all you have to do is

1. Retweet this post or share it on Facebook, and
2. Post a comment answering one of the two discussion questions above.  Be sure to include in your comment the Facebook or Twitter profile where you shared the link, too.

Two people who have shared and commented will be selected around 5 PM Eastern time Friday May 4 to receive signed copies (must be a U.S. resident to win.)

Of course, you can also buy a copy of All Pro Dad on Amazon right now.

Last week I came across Project Forgive on KickStarter. Take 6 minutes to watch this video describing the project:

Shawne Duperon is leading the project and seeking 100,000 in funding to create this video documentary about forgiveness.

You cannot flourish if you cannot forgive

I believe forgiving others is huge. It’s life-changing! None of us can live our best life unless we forgive those who hurt us. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why that is, and here’s here’s what I think it comes down to…

Usually when we refuse to forgive someone who has hurt us, it’s out of a sense of justice – we believe the other person must pay for what they’ve done. The problem is, in most cases we have neither the right nor the ability to administer justice. In those cases where a crime has been committed, we can work through the legal system, but in the grand scheme of things even our legal system administer justice in a very limited, imperfect manner.

It reminds me of the old serenity prayer you’ve probably heard many times:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Ultimately, responsibility for justice lies with God. It falls into the “accept the things I cannot change” category.

As a Christian, I know God tells us in the bible that in the end we will all stand before Him and be held accountable for our actions. God is a perfect judge; He is both perfectly just and perfectly merciful. Honestly, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around those two seemingly contradictory ideals. But I know this: in the end God will make all things right for both victims and perpetrators.

Because I believe God will make all things right, I don’t have to bear that burden myself.

Forgiving someone is not letting them off the hook for their wrong; it’s letting yourself off the hook for making them pay for it.

(A tweetable version: Forgiving some1 is not letting them off the hook 4 their wrong; it’s letting urself off the hook 4 making them pay 4 it.)

If you’re still holding back and not forgiving someone, let go. Let God do his job so you can move on an do yours.

If you believe in the power of forgiveness, support Project Forgive and help make it happen.

“Being Positive not only makes you better, it makes everyone around you better.”

That’s the premise behind The Positive Pledge, created by author and speaker Jon Gordon.

The Positive Pledge includes 16 specifics including:

• I pledge to be a positive person and positive influence on my family, friends, co-workers and community.
• I promise to be positively contagious and share more smiles, laughter, encouragement and join with those around me.
• When I feel fear I will choose faith.
• I believe I’m here for a reason and my purpose is greater than my challenges.

For all 16 points, to download a printable copy and to sign The Positive Pledge go to thepositivepledge.com

Do you believe being a positive person is a choice?  Are you committed to being a positive person?  Which of the 16 points resonates most with you?

I am the furthest thing from a foodie. The best culinary compliment of my life came just the other day when my wife told me I did a great job cooking the frozen lasagna in the microwave. But for some unexplained reason, I’ve found myself watching the Food Network show Chopped.

If you haven’t seen it, in each episode they bring in 4 chefs who compete in three rounds making an appetizer, an entre, and a dessert from mystery ingredients. After each round one of the chefs is “chopped” until there is one winner at the end.

While watching an episode earlier this week it occurred to me that in many ways the show parallels life.

1) We don’t get to choose the main ingredients. Each round starts by revealing 4 mystery ingredients the chefs are required to use in their dish. We do not get to choose many of the “ingredients” of our lives including what country we’re born in, our ethnicity is, what gifts and talents we’ve been given, and the family we’re born into.

2)There’s always at least one curveball. In every episode there’s at least one bizarre ingredient which the chefs look at and say, “What the???” They’ve either never cooked with it before or in some cases never even heard of it. Life invariability throws us curveballs too, circumstances that we have never faced before and feel completely unprepared for.

3) It’s up to us what we do with them. While the chefs don’t get to pick the mystery ingredients, they can cook them any way they want and use any other ingredients with them they like. In life, we too are responsible for how we respond to our circumstances and how we use the gifts and talents we’ve been given.

4) Time is precious. The chefs have a very limited amount of time to cook each dish. They have not a moment to spare and never have the opportunity to do everything they want to. Our lives are much longer than an episode of chopped and hopefully less hurried, but every moment is still precious.

5) Winners don’t play it safe. Many a chef has been “chopped” for playing it safe with their ingredients. Similarly, the people who have the greatest impact on this world are the ones who use their creativity and take bold risks.

6) Everyone stands to be judged. At the end of each round the chefs face the judges, who determine their fate. At the end of our lives, we will all stand before God.

7) We are held accountable for what we’ve done with what we’ve been given. The judges make their assessments based on the ingredients the chefs were given. If the chefs are given pheasant, the judges don’t drag them over the coals for failing to grill steaks. They will criticize a chef if they can’t taste one of the ingredients in a dish. And one of the highest compliments a chef can receive is when a judge says they like the way they brought all the ingredients together in a way that they complement each other. We too are responsible for what we’ve been given, nothing more and nothing less. Comparing ourselves to others is not only useless but harmful, because we’ve been given different “ingredients.”

Fortunately, there are also many ways in which life is not like Chopped. In life there is more than one winner, there are second chances, and the prize for using the ingredients of your life well is worth far more than $10,000.

If you watch Chopped, what’s the most unusual ingredient you’ve seen used?

In your life, what’s the best or most challenging “ingredient” you’ve been given? How are you making the most of it?

I frequently hear people say “Everything happens for a reason.” It’s usually said in the midst of challenging circumstances as a way of trying to make some sense of the situation. But is this really true?

Does everything happen for a reason?

I posted this question on the Live Intentionally Facebook page which prompted a fascinating conversation with people with all kinds of diverse views about God and the universe weighing in. I love it!

Clarification

Following that conversation, I realize one clarification is necessary: when we say “everything happens for a reason” we’re not talking about simple, physical cause and effect. We’re talking about a higher power orchestrating events for a reason. If a hammer slips out of my hand and lands on my toe, we all understand there are physical reasons for that – my hand was sweaty, gravity pulled it down, etc. That’s not at issue here. The question is whether God (or some other being/force) wanted the hammer to hit my toe for some greater purpose.

As you can already tell from the title of this post…

I don’t believe everything happens for a reason.

If we say “Everything happens for a reason” that would indicate that God (or some other all-powerful person/force) intends for everything to happen that happens. That is just not consistent with what I know from the bible or from personal experience.

First of all, the God of the bible (the God I know and follow) is a God of order. He created systems that govern the laws of nature. He does not have to choose where the planets will be every moment of every day; He created gravity to do that. He does not have to choose where and when it will rain every moment of every day; He created weather systems to do that.

Certainly there is both biblical and experiential evidence to show that God intervenes in world events. God can and has stopped the sun in its place (Joshua 10:13). God can and has caused the start and end of droughts (Haggai 1:11).

But if it rains, should I be saying, “I guess God didn’t want my son to play baseball today?” Or on a grander scale, “I guess God didn’t want the Patriots to win the Superbowl this year?” Does God have some greater purpose behind the fact that we’re out of bagels and I had an English muffin for breakfast?

If so, why create systems at all? It just doesn’t seem consistent with who God is and how He operates.

Certainly there is lots of room to debate the degree to which God is actively intervenes in day to day events. Sometimes – yes. Every time – no. Sometimes the hammer falls on your toe just because your hand was sweaty.

Second, we as human beings have free will. We can choose good or evil. All is not decided for us. If I punch you in the nose, it is not “God’s will” for you to have a bloody nose but mine.

God is all-good. He is not capable of perpetrating evil. He is also all-powerful and has the capacity to intervene in world events when he wants to. But he often he chooses not to leaving us to deal with the natural consequences of our actions both good and bad.

The good news, however…

is that the bible tells us in Romans 8:28

In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Even though God doesn’t cause bad things to happen to us, He is able to use all circumstances – no matter how bad – for our good if we allow him. The same power of God that raised Jesus from the dead is capable of healing our physical, emotional and relational wounds. And often in his infinite wisdom, God uses us to bring comfort, guidance and healing to others who are going through the same bad circumstances we experienced.

So, when I or someone I know faces challenging circumstances instead of saying, “Everything happens for a reason,” I choose to say, “This is tough, but God is powerful and loving enough to use even these circumstances to bring about good.”

What do you think?  Do you think “everything happens for a reason?”  Why or why not?

It’s a dynamic word.

It implies motion… big motion.

We LEAP for joy.

We try to LEAP frog the competition.

Scientists pursue research that will give us a quantum LEAP forward in technology.

And then there’s the biggest, scariest LEAP of all…

A LEAP of faith.

It’s one thing to take a step of faith. Steps are fairly easy. One foot is still securely on the ground while the other moves forward.

But then there are those times when we can’t step forward.

There’s a creek.

A crevasse.

A chasm.

It can’t be crossed without taking a risk and throwing both feet into the air.

If you’re at that point where you are on one side and your God-given dream is on the other side of a chasm too big to step across, perhaps today is the day….

Gauge the distance well.

Ask your friends to cheer you on.

Get a running start.

And then…

LEAP!

Is today your Leap Day?

Today is George Washington’s birthday.  Washington not only led the American colonies to their independence and was the first U.S. president, but he said a lot of wise things along the way.  So, to commemorate his birthday, I asked you all through Twitter, Facebook, G+ and Empire Avenue to help me compile a list of quotes from George Washington.  Thanks to all who contributed.  Here are…

16 Quotes from George Washington

1. Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. (via Debra Ulrich)
2. Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder. (via Jim Kelly, Guillermo de Llera)
3. Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience. (via Thea Bredie)
4. No People can be bound to acknowledge and adore the invisible hand, which conducts the Affairs of men more than the People of the United States. (first inaugural address) (via Rich Bradford)
5. If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. (via Kari Baxter, Catherine White)
6. I shall not be deprived … of a comfort in the worst event, if I retain a consciousness of having acted to the best of my judgment. (via Sarah Wilson)
7. Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected. (via Matt Weber)
8. A people… who are possessed of the spirit of commerce, who see and who will pursue their advantages may achieve almost anything. (via Jan Kaptein)
9. Nothing is a greater stranger to my breast, or a sin that my soul more abhors, than that black and detestable one, ingratitude.
10. Every post is honorable in which a man can serve his country.
11. A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man, that actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of his friends
12. Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence; true friendship is a plant of slow growth.
13. We have abundant reason to rejoice, that, in this land, the light of truth and reason has triumphed over the power of bigotry and superstition, and that every person may here worship God according to the dictates of his own heart.
14. I hold the maxim no less applicable to public than to private affairs, that honesty is the best policy.
15. Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains taken to bring it to light.
16. Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth.

It’s worth noting that many quotes have been misattributed to Washington, some accidentally others probably by someone with an agenda.  It becomes particularly challenging these days of social media as once something is attributed to somebody once, lots of people will share/retweet/repost the misattributed quote.  If your favorite Washington quote wasn’t included here, you might want to double check that he actually said it, and said it first.

So, what’s your favorite George Washington quote?  Chopping down any cherry tree’s today to celebrate?

In celebration of Valentine’s Day, I asked folks on Twitter, Facebook and Google+ to post their favorite, most inspiring quotes about love.  I combined some of those (sorry I couldn’t use all those contributed) with some of my favorites to create today’s post.

20 Inspiring Quotes about Love

1. If you love somebody, set them free. -Chinese Proverb, Sting (from @MySmartPuppy)
2. Where there is love there is life. -Gandhi (from @ErnieArias)
3. All You Need is Love -John Lennon & Paul McCartney (from Greg Gazin)
4. There is no remedy for love but to love more. -Henry David Thoreau (from @WayneHurlbert)
5. I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. -Roy Croft (via @AnneHThomas)
6. The greatest love is shown when a person lays down his life for his friends. -John 15:12 (from @HTbookstore)
7. I have loved you with an everlasting love. -Jeremiah 31:3
8. When you are in love you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. -Dr. Seuss
9. Every decision we make today will be driven by fear or love. Who we toss the keys to determines a lot about the destination. –Bob Goff
10. You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. -Sam Keen
11. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong. -Ella Fitzgerald
12. Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who… love truly and honestly without demanding that they be loved in return. -John & Stasi Eldredge
13. If you judge people, you have no time to love them. -Mother Teresa
14. If you would be loved, love and be lovable. Benjamin Franklin
15. The course of true love never did run smooth. -William Shakespeare
16. Love doesn’t try to be efficient; when it’s most extravagant, it’s least wasted. –Bob Goff
17. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. -C.S. Lewis
18. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers … of love is Hell. -C.S. Lewis
19. Perfect love drives out fear. -1 John 4:18
20. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (from @Nurse_Techy)

What is your favorite, most inspiring quote about love?