Empathy is the ability to feel what another person, animal, or spirit is feeling—to put yourself in their shoes so to speak—and sympathize with their pain, suffering, depression, illness, etc.  That is a good quality for humans to have; however, some people tend to become overloaded with the energy of others to the point of compromising their own well-being. They unknowingly pick up energy from the collective unconscious and electronic devices in their physical environment. Some can even sense the emotions and illnesses of friends, family members, and strangers in another city, state, or country. These energy-sensitive people are the empaths to whom my new book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You, is geared.

Empathy is one part of our divine guidance system commonly called “intuition.” As spirit or energy beings, we are all empathic to some degree, but some people have the ability to feel energy more easily and intensely than the average person. At times, this can disrupt their lives because they become emotionally distraught or physically ill as a result of carrying someone else’s energy along with their own stuff. This condition is compounded when an empath does not recognize how his or her own energy feels or is disconnected from his or her own body, thoughts, and feelings.

Being empathic allows us to pick up information with the five commonly accepted senses: sight, hearing, smell, feeling/touch, and taste to bring us a message about others. It allows us to bring in information and energy (info-energy) like a radio picking up multiple channels all at once. The brain of a hypersensitive person does not know what to do with all this random input. These empaths must learn to interpret the information they receive and shield themselves from being a dumping ground for psychic energy.

Since these energetic impulses and messages come from a variety of sources, it may be difficult for empaths to discern whose energy they are picking up on. This can cause depression, anxiety attacks, physical symptoms, or a burst of emotions that seem to appear for no reason. Most empaths have no idea how to manage this energy or turn it off. Some don’t even know they are an empath, much less what to do about it. You may be one of them.

Thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are a subtle form of energy. Through quantum physics, it has been scientifically proven that everything—when viewed at an atomic or subatomic level—is energy manifested in different forms, states, and frequencies. We are submersed in a matrix or field of intelligent energy. Max Planck first proposed the quantum theory of an energy matrix in 1944. Today, scientists agree that everything—even what we once thought to be empty space—is actually comprised of particles and waves of energy. Not only are we affected by this ever-changing field of energy, our DNA, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs can rearrange the field as we interact with one another.

Knowing this, I wonder if it is possible to not be affected by other people’s energy. It only seems natural. We are all born with the ability to tap into another person’s energy field to receive impulses, perceive intention, or project our thoughts and influence on others. Even though you may not recognize this ability as a psychic skill, you’ve probably “felt” someone else’s energy. For example, have you ever been sitting in a public place—perhaps reading a book and minding your own business—and sensed that someone was projecting energy toward you? When you looked up, you caught someone staring at you from across the room.

Being empathic is not a burden you must bear anymore. You can learn to shut out unwanted energy and keep others from violating your personal boundaries. First, you have to set boundaries. I show you how to do that in my book. You can also learn to direct your own energy and keep it from “leaking” or roaming by default. Then you will be able to send healing vibes when you choose rather than when someone wants to siphon your energy. You may find that you have undeveloped psychic gifts that you want to hone. It is possible to tap into another person’s field when invited to read the emotional information and help them know what is going on energetically for them.

Recognizing that you’re an empath is the first step in taking charge of your emotions instead of constantly drowning in them. The most challenging thing about developing and honing empathic abilities is learning to discern what energetic stuff is yours, and what belongs to someone else. Chronic anxiety, depression, or stress wears down our defenses and makes us even more susceptible to the negative energy of others, especially those with similar unresolved emotional issues. In some cases, you may be dealing with a combination of your own stuff and someone else’s.

Here are some ways to identify and distinguish your own energy from that of another person.

1. Ask. If you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions, the first thing to do is ask yourself if the feeling is yours or someone else’s. If you are angry with someone, the feeling is probably your own, but you could also be participating in the energy of the person you quarreled with. Try to resolve the situation, forgive, and let it go. If the energy is not yours, try to determine the obvious originator. For example, if you are feeling out of whack and you’ve just witnessed an accident or have been in a crowded public setting, you may have picked up the feelings of other people. Center and ground your energy using the techniques discussed in Chapter 9 of my book.

2. Observe. Pay attention to the feelings and impressions you receive wherever you go. You may have a feeling that you don’t want to go into a certain place, or you don’t want to connect with a certain person. You are wise to trust those feelings; they come to us for a reason, whether it makes rational sense or not. Intuition does not come from the rational side of our brain; it comes from a place of higher knowing that is meant to guide us and keep us safe.

3. Spend time building a relationship with yourself. The busier we get the less we are likely to take time to sit still and listen to the voice within, but this is a very important part of learning to sense your own energy and honing your intuitive skills. We may be doing something wonderful for someone else, but if we neglect taking time to renew our own energy, we put ourselves at risk of being overwhelmed. Self-healing and self-care is a wonderful gift we can offer ourselves as empathic healers. Taking a break, spending time in meditation, and relaxing are some of the best ways to get to know how your energy feels, raise your vibration, and avoid taking on other’s symptoms.

For more help, see Chapter 8 of Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You, There, I give an exercise to help you practice listening to your own inner guidance to make wise decisions. Another great technique for sensing your own energy is given in Chapter 9 under the heading “Aura or Body Shield.” http://WhoseStuffIsThis.com

By Yvonne Perry

An empath’s best coping method is the ability to detach from others or a situation. An empath is a feeler, and we usually know when we’ve reached our limit. If the emotional burden of another person or situation becomes too great, we can pull away without being hateful, angry, or upset. It is an essential act of self preservation that must be utilized.

From time to time, I still find that being in a crowd for a long period of time is overwhelming for me, even though I have done everything I recommend in my book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You. Advanced preparation and being proactive is the key to avoiding overstimulation. When planning meetings and public engagements, seek venues that are quiet and peaceful. It doesn’t have to be the library or a morgue, but those are options!

Recently, I found a great coffee shop on the east side of Nashville. They serve the best coffee in town, or at least that’s my opinion. So, I thought it was a good idea to meet a colleague there and pick up another bag of the delicious brew for home use. Things started out great about 10:30 a.m., but after about an hour, the room was filling with lunch customers and the conversation volume and emotional energy level was increasing. Within thirty minutes, I had grounded and centered several times, but I had gone past my personal limit. I could hardly hear myself think, much less carry on a conversation with my friend. I wanted to run out the door and get away, but that didn’t seem the professional thing to do. I needed to politely detach.

I said, “Bob, this place has gotten so loud, I can hardly hear what you are saying.” I had to practically scream to be heard. “Can we move to that table in the back of the room?”

He was all too glad to, but moving didn’t help me very much. By then, I was in overload and for the next fifteen minutes, my attention was not on my conversation with my friend. I was trying to tune out the psychic “tips and quips” I was getting about the people at the table next to us. It was past time for me to leave.

“Bob, I am very interested in what you have to say, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue our conversation at another time and a different location. I am over stimulated by the energy in this room.” I picked up my purse and stood. “I will email you when I get home and check my calendar. We can set something up for next week.”

He was very understanding.

The next time I met a colleague, I asked him to meet me at a bookstore where there is a coffee shop. This was a much better setting and I was able to work with that colleague for three hours before my hungry stomach started growling for dinner. I wasn’t even over stimulated when I got home.

Empaths need to have the foresight to plan ahead, and most of the time that is doable if you are the one planning the meeting. But, what if you are not the planner, but rather the guest? For social gatherings, such as a party, where there will be a lot of unfamiliar energy, I either stay near someone I know or engage in conversation with someone whose energy feels good—I generally gravitate toward children! If I start to feel overwhelmed, I’ll find a corner where I can observe the action without being antisocial or placing myself right in the middle of things. That position allows me to take breaks without being missed while I go outside or to a quiet room to get away from the cacophony of energy. If my husband goes with me to a social event and I start feeling over stimulated, I can stand near him or hold his hand for a moment to help ground myself with his energy. If I do this several times, he knows I am ready to leave and will look for a way to politely say our goodbyes. If I am going to a function without my husband, I may drive my own car so I’m not stranded if I need to leave.

For more help dealing with energy overload and setting boundaries, see Chapter 10 of my book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You. http://WhoseStuffIsThis.com

###

Are your coworkers like psychic vampires who leech off your energy?
Do you have mysterious illnesses, aches, and pains?
Are you depressed or angry for no good reason?
Do some friends and family members make you feel drained?
Are you super sensitive to the negativity around you?

You may be an empath picking up on the thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and even the illnesses of others.

Managing My Energetic Stuff is a short e-book with affirmations and exercises to develop the intuitive gift of empaths. Portions were excerpted from chapters of the best-selling book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You.

Great tool to have in your iPhone, iPad, or Kindle Reader for quick reference when in an overly stimulating situation.

A person can get so used to caretaking that they feel they are supposed to do it. I believe it is a violation of another person’s rights to even try to pick up information or sense things about them unless you first ask their permission. It’s like reading their mail or rummaging through their closet! If you are an empath with the typical codependency pattern, your idea of where the line is between you and another person might be a bit blurred. Once you get to know where the line is, it will make all your relationships clearer and cleaner. In my book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You, I teach how to sense your own energy and listen to your inner guidance.

Empaths are kind and caring. At times, we are almost saintly because we tend to care for others more than we care for ourselves. However, you are not doing yourself or anyone else any favors by being a martyr. Co-dependency is common in our relationships because we want to please others. Doing or saying something that will make someone else angry or sad is uncomfortable for us, so we often avoid confrontation. After all, if we make someone angry or upset, we will probably pick up that feeling and make us even more uncomfortable. This is not self-care; this is self-sabotage!

Caretaking does not serve or protect another person; it keeps them from growing up and accepting responsibility for their own actions and feelings. You have to be the bad guy from time to time just to maintain your own health and sanity. People may get mad at you if you don’t do what they want you to do, but their feelings are not your feelings, and your well-being is not dependent on theirs. Part of maturing as an empath is to stop taking on responsibilities that aren’t yours. There are times when we must have the courage to say “no,” when called upon to give away our valuable time or emotional resources. It’s okay to let others take care of themselves as much as possible. It’s fine to ask others to help you! A healthy relationship is a two-way venture where receiving is equal to giving. Let your friends pamper you from time to time.

Extend patient, loving attention to yourself by setting aside time for spiritual renewal, to read, or do a craft or project you enjoy.  Find some place where you can be alone in nature to refresh your own batteries. Do some type of physical exercise to keep the energy flowing in your body. Care for yourself the way you do others.

When you treat yourself with compassion, you offer yourself a supportive emotional environment that allows you to overcome past patterns and challenges to step into the positive change that you are seeking and deserve!

Learn more about developing your intuition and progressing spiritually in

Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You—more than two dozen proven and effective ways to clear and protect your energy field. This guide offers empowering, proactive techniques to help empathic people manage energy overload.  See http://whosestuffisthis.com/ for details.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may have read my book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You. Now you have an understanding and are working on managing your energy. Knowing you are empath makes sense to you and you’ve tried to explain to your family members why you are so sensitive at times.

Maybe the one person, who really needs to understand you, is not the type who would sit down and read my book, but perhaps they would listen if someone read it to them. Whose Stuff Is This? Audio Book is the answer to your dilemma. Recorded in MP3 format, it will explain the psychological aspects of empathy and help others understand the psychic ability you have been blessed with.

Whose Stuff Is This? is now available as an audio book. Listen to the MP3 while you travel!

This MP3 is nearly five hours long and contains all 12 chapters of the best-selling book, Whose Stuff Is This? for empathic people who want to wisely manage their energy.

Some highly-sensitive people silently show empathy and compassion by soaking up other peoples’ negative energy. We naturally want to restore balance and heal people wherever we go, but the trouble is we don’t realize that taking negative energy from other folks will eventually make us unhealthy.

Energy from others first engages with the energetic layers or subtle bodies that create the interconnected electromagnetic field of energy (auric field) around our physical body. Information in this auric field is received by the chakras and sent to the brain for processing and sending messages to the areas of the body that correlate with that type of information. Therefore, clearing your energy field is the place to begin working when you decide you’ve had enough of taking on everyone else’s stuff.

There are many easy and effective ways to control and eliminate detrimental energy and entities that may have entered your field during your workday. I’ll give one here as an example:

Imagine a wide cylinder of white light extending from the higher realms above you, encasing your body and aura. The light is going through you, and passing into the very center of the earth where it locks in place. You are surrounded by this light and nothing negative can penetrate it. Because this light is above you, in you, around you, and below you, it is grounding you to the earth’s energy, clearing your aura, and raising your vibration by connecting with higher realms.

Imagine that you are growing roots from the bottom of your feet that reach deep in the earth. These roots are flexible, so when you lift your feet, the roots follow you.

See a cord of light (you choose the color) coming from your root chakra and extending deep into the earth.

Clearing is an ongoing process and must be done regularly to stay free of other people’s energy. When you first put defense mechanisms in place, you may still get overwhelmed in a crowd or when there is emotional turmoil around you, but the discomfort will lessen as you continue to develop your intuition and put effort into your spiritual practice.

In my book, Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You, (ISBN: 9780982572245), there’s an entire chapter of exercises you can do at home. These are listed in alphabetical order for easy reference. Depending upon how much stuff you have in your field and how long it has been there and how fast you want to get rid of it, you may want to consider receiving some type of energy work from an energy worker or natural health practitioner.

Maybe the one person, who really needs to understand you, is not the type who would sit down and read my book, but perhaps they would listen if someone read it to them. Whose Stuff Is This? Audio Book is the answer to your dilemma. Recorded in MP3 format, it will explain the psychological aspects of empathy and help others understand the psychic ability you have been blessed with.

Whose Stuff Is This? is now available as an audio book. Listen to the MP3 while you travel! This MP3 is nearly five hours long and contains all 12 chapters of the best-selling book, Whose Stuff Is This? for empathic people who want to wisely manage their energy.

The author, Leon Scott Baxter, speaks plainly with tongue in cheek about how to spark that fire of romance in your marriage through connection, conversation, time, and touch, to name a few suggestions. This sounds easy, and even fun, right? Yet each of us becomes busy, self-absorbed with work, caretaker for kids, house, dog and friends.

So take note, dear readers, of the authors comparing your investment in romance to your portfolio. This is cleverly done. What takes away from your relationships are debts. What adds and multiplies in your romance with your partner is your personal time, effort and focus. Be brave, take risks, surprise your partner, and show that your heart is still in the romance game. Why? Because we make a critical mistake in thinking romance is about being in love. Not so! Romance is about making your your partner feel loved and cared for. Much more than feeling, romance is action-oriented to show how you value another’s personhood and their life with you.

We need this kind of caring in our lives right now with the pressures we deal with. If you agree that romance can add some sizzle to your relationship, buy the book and try the suggestions within each chapter. Are looking for more than sizzle, if you need the heavy heart to feel lighter and right with the relationship, then buy 2 copies and share with your partner. Read it together each week and practice the romance conversation, the honest sharing, the date night and more. Make romance a part of your lives again and feel ALIVE!

View all my reviews

To provide the best practices for living in loving intimacy with partners, From Fizzle to Sizzle is that kind of eye-opening, spectacular experience that offers YOU offer practical, hands-on tools and strategies for relationship repair and reconnection. Enroll here now!

Connection – to be linked or bonded to another person or people.

When a child is born, the bonding process involves touch, empathy and positive regard. Empathy is established through eye contact with the baby, which programs the brain to recognize, connect, and feel the parent or caregiver. Empathy and positive regard for the child are also connected through conversation, cuddling, holding, movement (walking and rocking). When a parent treat and speaks to the babe or toddler with kindness, softness, love, tenderness, the child feels valued and develops an emotional foundation for feeling safe, cherished, respected, cared for. Our bodies grow and change, and out human needs for attachment to a loving person and bonding to establish feelings of connection do not change.

Think of the most horrible anguish a child can experience: feeling abandoned, feeling tiny and disrespected through being yelled at, treated like an object, dismissed, hit, screamed at, and threatened. These are emotional memories in the making that will hijack this child as an adult.

Do you think adults feel any different? Each person’s core needs are to be met, and when not met, the pattern for emotional abandonment is triggered. You are hardwired for relationships and feeling connected is a priority for communication and commitment.

Question for Your Review: HOW do you feel connected to those most important relations?

Communication – as a value, communication is more than sending a message or conversing. As a value, this means to be in rapport with someone is to be aligned.

Being aligned in the gut with each other helps you feel safe. Being aligned in the heart with each other helps you feel loved or valued. Being aligned in the head with each other implies no judgment, acceptance and the ability to share, argue, debate, and plan without taking it personally.

To be in rapport means you

• Can disagree without being disagreeable,
• Make an effort to control your emotional hijacking and not dump on another,
• Can move away from the need to be right and shift to listening, being open or reflective
• Can be objective, even while being emotional.

Question for Your Review: HOW high do you rank communication as a core value in your relationships? We suggest you make it number 1 on your values list for one month and cultivate this quality within yourself. See how your relations improve.

Courage – to be brave – to have guts, audacity, valor, going forth or moving ahead despite fear

We believe that relationships absolutely requires guts, especially for you types that love harmony, peace, and not making waves, or you who love to escape pressures of modern relationships. Others need courage to face the world, step into and participate actively in their relationships. And others can be fearless, so you might not believe that you need courage. You might be right in that your achievements speak to bravery, but do you need more courage to be sensitive in your relationships, where you dismiss sensitivity and feelings.

Even if you feel like a total wimp, frightened or like a doormat, list courage as a value. Each morning, repeat your mantra of courage in action.

• I am courage in action.
• I have courage to face…
• I see courage in my eyes.
• My act of courage to day will be…

Question for your review – How are you courageous in facing your fears and moving through any emotional hijacking situations?

Commitment – to pledge or promise to follow through, accepting a responsibility

Some people might take commitment more lightly than their partner or child would like. That is because you might make promises that you can’t keep in a reasonable length if time. Some people get caught up in their actions and visions and planning. Others get overwhelmed and put promises on the backburner. While others shift priorities like the wind and may even forget if you are out of their sight and out of mind.

This happens because all of you have good intentions. You make commitments fully intending to keep them, but…life happens. Those to whom you commit can only assume you have forgotten unless you take some sort of action like communicate, make an action plan or settle on a date for delivery.

When you forget the promise, the person in relation to you can feel disrespected and devalued. If that is not the result that you want in your relationships, then add a timeline to the commitment that you make.

Responsibility, then, is the twin to Commitment and means that you can be counted on, depended upon to follow through, complete the task or commitment, and be accountable for doing so.

Assessment of these core 4 values in your relationships provides a compass for you to be authentic and aware enough to fully enjoy and be fulfilled.

© 2012 by Dr. Caron Goode

Who Do You Love? Teaching Empaths How to Open to Sacred Love

TUESDAY, February 14, 2012 at 2:35 PM Central Time - Yvonne Perry presents the pros and pitfalls of being an empath in an intimate relationship with someone who is/is not an empath. We open our heart to the wrong source when we look to another person to fulfill us, love us, and meet our needs. When that person disappoints or leaves us, we feel betrayed or abandoned.

This presentation will teach you how to activate your heart and connect to the secret chamber of the Sacred Heart where unconditional love abounds. In that limitless place of bliss, you will find everything you have always wanted and needed. You’ve walked forty-seven miles of barbed wire, wear a cobra snake for a necktie to keep from being hurt. Now, who do you love? When an empath or highly sensitive person opens his or her heart to another person (even a stranger) and that person responds with negativity, the emotional impact is keenly felt. When someone we are close to is unkind to us, it’s natural to blame ourselves or try to fix the situation or calm the other person.

When we absorb that person’s emotional energy into the cells of our body or the electromagnetic field surrounding our body, these energetic burdens can make us emotionally and physically sick. We want to open our heart to love but we are afraid of getting hurt again. Our protection mechanism urges us to avoid getting too close. Walling off emotionally from our partner can cause the relationship to plummet. We open our heart to the wrong source when we look to another person to fulfill us, love us, and meet our needs. When that person disappoints or leaves us, we feel betrayed or abandoned. Learn now to operate from that heart of power, you will learn how to allow love to radiate from you so strongly that you no longer absorb detrimental energy from others.

Award winning author, Yvonne Perry tells how she recovered and shares spiritual practices to help other energy-sensitive people clear their energy field, set boundaries, and stay grounded in Spirit in this book, Whose stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You.

From Fizzle to Sizzle on Valentine’s Day!!

TUESDAY, February 14, 2012 at 2:00 PM Central Time -

When Values Clash, Relationships Crash

THURSDAY, February 9, 2012 at 2:00 PM Central Time - Dr Minette Riordan -When a couple enters into a romantic relationship, hormones and romance can take over, leaving little time for serious conversation. As the relationship continues and conversations deepen, it’s important to understand your own and your partner’s values. No matter how sexy and romantic your partner might be, if she doesn’t want kids and you do, the relationship will not last. In this call, Dr. Riordan will give some quick tips on identifying values that can help strengthen your existing relationship or determine if your budding romance is headed in the right direction.

Dr. Minette Riordan became certified in 2006 as a Coach for Parents through the Academy for Coaching Parents  International. Minette quickly moved from trainee to trainer and now teaches the marketing course for ACPI and co-teaches the adolescent training with Academy founder Dr. Caron Goode. In addition to her work with ACPI, Dr. Minette Riordan has successfully built a multi-media publishing company targeting families in the Dallas/Ft. Worth Metroplex. She credits her success to learning how to connect with others through networking, referrals, strategic partnerships and an attitude of service to others first. Minette’s secret to sales success is not about winning a numbers game, but playing the people game: cultivating an attitude of curiosity and openness that will quickly help you attract clients and fans.

Prior to starting her company, Minette was an educator who earned her Ph.D. from Stanford University in 1995. She has taught at the university and high school levels, as well as adult education and personal development workshops. She was named the 2009 Small Business Owner of the Year by the Plano Chamber of Commerce and received the 2007 Altrusa Outstanding Women of Today award. Scissortail Publishing has produced North Texas Kids for 9 years, a magazine targeting moms in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. In June of 2011, she is launching a second publication titled byDesign: Your Life, Your Business, targeting women business owners. Her passion and joy come from helping others find the information, tools and inspiration they need to succeed. She is living proof that you can have it all: a successful business, healthy marriage and happy kids! Minette lives in Plano Texas with her husband, Brad and her two children, ages 12 and 10.

Minette@northtexaskids.com
www.northtexaskids.com
www.minetteriordan.com
www.twitter.com/northtxkids
www.linkedin.com/in/minetteriordan