Live to Write Another Day

Aspiring Screenwriter Tip #4 -- What to Eat

2010-03-11T17:19:00.000-08:00

Ace has been rather busy working on a very cool new script, so when I bounced an idea off her for a little post here she gave me this kind if wavy go-ahead-and-do-it gesture. At least, I think that's what it meant. She was eating an egg roll at the time, so it may have been a come-here-quick-and-give-me-the-Heimlich gesture. Y'know, now that I think about it, I haven't talked to

Still with me?

2010-01-21T14:35:00.000-08:00

I know my screenwriting posts are perceived by some as discouraging. I have no doubt that this blog would be MUCH more popular if it were the super-positive kind, telling people that we're all special snowflakes, that anybody can be a writer, that talent and hard work are irrelevant and all you need are some "ideas," a positive attitude, a little networking, and a fervent belief in "The Secret."

Revolting Development (Part Two)

2010-01-20T14:12:00.000-08:00

(Continuation of this post about how "crappy scripts" get made....)In case you don't know what "development" means -- it's when a team of people, who are typically not writers, make lists of changes that they think will "improve" a script. It behooves the development personnel to suggest alterations, because not to do so suggests that their job is unnecessary. (No...really.) The development

How "crappy scripts" get made; or, Revolting Development (Part One)

2010-01-19T13:40:00.000-08:00

Screenwriters don't get much respect. This isn't news; in fact it's a cliché. Not that most people think screenwriters deserve respect. Any Joe off the street will tell you that screenwriting isn't difficult -- it surely isn't "real" work -- and he could write something so much better if he could just find the time. During the writers' strike, blogs all over America were filled with rants

Resolution time?

2009-12-30T14:36:00.000-08:00

"I love to read...so my resolution is to try hard to make time to read some books this year."I've seen that resolution on lots of blogs this week. Frankly, it puzzles me. It makes no sense to me that people would have to force themselves to do something that they claim to love. I don't know why those people can't just be honest with themselves and admit that they don't actually "love" to read;

There's no such thing as overnight success....

2009-12-29T14:13:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the sparse posts of late. "Real writing" (as in, the kind that kinda-sorta pays the bills) has stolen all my time lately, and forced me to temporarily neglect my bloggy blathering. Actually...this reminds me of something I've been meaning to discuss here -- a big bad four-letter word: TIME. Whenever a working writer attends a cocktail party, it's pretty much a guarantee that someone

Why doesn’t Hollywood make movies for "me?"

2009-12-02T13:56:00.000-08:00

I hear this complaint all the time. "Hey! I’m a [baby boomer, senior citizen, woman, homosexual, evangelical, intellectual, minority, etc.] ... why doesn’t Hollywood make movies for ME?"Frankly, there’s a certain tragic narrow-mindedness to this viewpoint, as it presupposes that people have nothing to gain from seeing movies about people who are different from themselves. Presumably "Raiders

Aspiring screenwriter tip of the week: Avoid writing autobiographical scripts

2009-11-24T22:10:00.000-08:00

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down a manhole and die."This famous Mel Brooks joke illustrates an important point. Everything that happens to you is the most dramatic thing in the world -- to you. This is why, in general, you should avoid writing autobiographical scripts. You simply don't have the perspective to see which parts of your life story (if any) might be

Who is "Hollywood?"

2009-11-17T14:01:00.000-08:00

The internet is littered with entertainment-related blogs and entertainment-related sites, where non-Hollywood people love to post (frequently, and with many exclamation points) about how very, very much they do not care about Hollywood, not at all, not one little bit.Why anyone would go out of his way to seek out sites to which he is so actively indifferent, I don't quite understand."Why should

Thumbs down to this screenplay contest....

2009-11-12T16:15:00.000-08:00

Like most working screenwriters, I am opposed to "dollar options." There are countless reasons why dollar options are a terrible idea for the writer, and why you should never agree to one. Please, please don't fall into the trap of being tricked into believing that a free or el cheapo option will make you a "professional screenwriter." This is so far from the truth it's laughable. All a

Aspiring screenwriter tip #1: It all counts

2009-11-08T22:17:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, I've won a whole bunch of screenwriting (and other writing) contests -- enough to cover my rent and basic necessities for several years. A lot of folks claim that writing contests are simply lotteries, and if that's true, I must be one hell of a lucky person. Maybe so; I am Irish, after all.But if that's true, I'm not the only "lucky" one. If you follow contests, you'll see

Starving screenwriter tip: How to find an extra $1000 -- and more importantly, some peace

2009-11-03T23:53:00.000-08:00

How often have you come up with your best ideas while in the shower, or taking a drive by yourself, or practicing a relaxing hobby? Your subconscious is working on story ideas and plot twists all the time, but it needs a chance to communicate with you. That requires long blocks of protected peace and quiet. You never know quite when you're going to slip into this meditative, daydream state.Now

The "Final" Houdini Seance, part three

2009-10-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

Dr. Edward Saint: Tonight we are in the very heart of glamorous Hollywood that Houdini loved so well. He lived here. He worked here. Houdini loved Hollywood. And Harry and Bessie Houdini celebrated their twenty-fifth, their silver wedding anniversary here, and all the greats of Hollywood were present. And Houdini made a speech and said, “You are all invited now to be at our fiftieth, our

The "Final" Houdini Seance, part two...

2009-10-30T11:08:00.002-07:00

Dr. Edward Saint: Ladies and Gentlemen, in this cathedral-like atmosphere tonight, I wish to remind you that this is a most solemn occasion for the close friends that have gathered here. That the zero hour of the tenth anniversary of our departed friend is fast nearing the end, and that the results of tonight are primarily of a personal and private nature only. No attempt is being made to sway

The "Final" Houdini Seance, part one

2009-10-29T15:47:00.000-07:00

Those who are aware of my real identity know that I'm a big Houdini aficionado, and that I spent many years researching Houdini's life and writing about him.Like Houdini, I don't believe in "mediums" or "spiritualists." Nevertheless I find it fascinating that 83 years after Houdini's death, people are still holding seances in the hopes of hearing from him. As great a showman and "escapologist"

Special recipe: Houdini's last meal

2009-10-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, October 24th, 1926, Houdini collapsed after struggling through a show at Detroit's Garrick Theater. For quite some time he'd been suffering from crippling abdominal pains and a very high fever, but then, he'd always been accustomed to ignoring pain.After the show, despite pleas from his wife that he go to the hospital, Houdini stubbornly returned to his hotel. There, the hotel's

Lifestyles of the broke and anonymous; or, Why a screenwriting career might not be for you

2009-10-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

When I won a Nicholl Fellowship a few years back, I was astonished how many would-be screenwriters asked me questions like: "Are Fellows forced to quit their day job?" "Are Fellows forced to move to Los Angeles?" And my favorite: "How could anyone be expected to live in L.A. on $30,000!?"(To answer these questions: No -- Fellows aren't forced to quit their day job or move to Los Angeles --

Cheap Eats From the Land of the Pharaohs

2009-10-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

[This week's special recipe is brought to you by fellow frugal writer, VirtualStranger.]My thanks to Ace, who’s asked me to contribute a few thoughts and recipes of my own to this shiny new blog. It’s been just over three years now that I’ve been living 100% off my writing, so I’ve got an idea or four on how to live cheap here in the big city, not to mention a few money-saving recipes of my own.

Starving screenwriter tip: How to save over 1,000 dollars (and hours!) per year

2009-10-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

$1000 could really help your screenwriting career, couldn't it? Think about it:$1000 equals six months' worth of food, if you eat frugally (about $5/day).$1000 equals entering two or three writing contests every month.$1000 is postage for over 2000 snail-mail query letters.$1000 is a new computer, the one expensive thing a serious writer can't do without.Where can you find an extra $1000 a year?

Useful word of the day: ultracrepidarian

2009-10-16T23:30:00.000-07:00

Today I'd like to focus on one of my favorite words. It's a rarely-used word, one in danger of obsolescence, which is unfortunate because it has so much relevance today:ULTRACREPIDARIAN n. Someone who gives opinions on matters beyond his knowledge. (Also adj. -- pertaining to one who gives opinions on matters beyond his knowledge.)ULTRACREPIDATE v. to criticize beyond one's sphere of

How to make "chewy" tofu:

2009-10-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

1. Place a package of water-packed tofu in the freezer until frozen solid (at least overnight).2. Let thaw completely.3. Press the block of tofu between two plates until most of the water is squeezed out.The tofu will be spongy (thus able to absorb sauces), slightly tan, chewy, less fragile and (imo) better tasting than unfrozen tofu. A lot of people talk about tofu "absorbing" the flavors of

Cheap-ass recipe of the week: Spicy peanut-ginger noodles with veggies

2009-10-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

Ingredients:2 packages Ramen noodles* (you won't need the flavor packet)2 12-oz. bags of frozen veggies (an Asian veggie mix including bean sprouts is usually best, or sweet-tasting veggies like carrots and pea pods, but you have a lot of leeway here).6 tablespoons water1 tablespoon vinegar2 teaspoons sugar2 teaspoons soy sauce ("reduced sodium" will taste better)4 heaping tablespoons peanut

All those "L.A. haters...."

2009-10-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

Gone is the city, gone the day,Yet still the story and the meaning stay:Once where a prophet in the palm shade baskedA traveler chanced at noon to rest his mules."What sort of people may they be," he asked,"In this proud city on the plains o'erspread?""Well, friend, what sort of people whence you came?""What sort?" the packman scowled; "why, knaves and fools.""You'll find the people here the same