I love pictures. The advent of digital photography has been a boon to a snap happy fool like me. I can snap away and delete the junk (and there is a lot of junk) without any real penalty.

I have a decent Cannon PowerShot point and shoot camera. My biggest complaint about point and shoot cameras is their over reliance on the flash. I much prefer natural or ambient light, but in many circumstances, those are hard to maximize with a point and shoot camera. I’m not Jenna or Casey, but I’ve got a decent eye and sometimes my execution is even good.

Sometimes, not so much.

It was while trying to capture these photos in Washington that I said to my husband. “It is time to move up to the next level of camera.” I just can’t get the control I want with a point and shoot.

Here’s where I need your help. I need help figuring out which camera to buy. When I walk into any retailer that sells cameras, it is instant overwhelm. I’ve read review sites, but most contain far more technical babble than I can decode. So, I’m hoping if I tell you about the pictures I like to take and my learning style you and your collective wisdom can point me in the right direction (no pun intended).

I take memento photos (us on vacation, my kids on stage), but more and more, I’m interested in candid shots from a distance and scenery shots.

I also tend to hang around with people who are extremely sensitive to bright light. So, learning to maximize ambient light would be a huge plus.

I need a camera that will allow for manual settings as well as auto because sometimes let’s face it you only have time to grab the camera and push the button. However, I plan on keeping my PowerShot. It lives in my purse and will continue to do so. This other camera will be for the more predictable “Kodak Moments”.

I taught myself PhotoShop years ago, I had a book that showed you how to make textures. I learned about the different functions and features by doing. I’ll likely be the same way with photography. I’ll see a shot and tinker with the settings until I get what I want. So, settings should be fairly easy to manipulate. An the view screen should be a good size. I am have problems seeing detail clearly at a distance, so the ability to take the shot via the view screen is a must.

I would like to be able to change lenses and tinker a little there too.

I don’t need video functionality although it appears to be hard to get away from it.

This is not going to be an instant purchase, and I don’t want to drop a HUGE chunk of change, but I’m looking at this as an investment since writer’s make more money when they can supply photographs too. I don’t need bells and whistles and sirens. Just a few bells and maybe a whistle would be nice.

Camon Vs. Nikon? Olympus? Sony? I’ve been Canon most of my life, so I’m familiar with their menu structures and since I’m not anywhere near professional, I won’t notice the color variations. I’m inclined to stay with Canon based on familiarity, but am open to alternate suggestions as well.

So dear reader, what do you recommend?

Sorry for almost two months of radio silence, but wow it has been a busy summer!

Since I’ve last checked in there have been a few blog worthy occurrences. My dad visited from Arizona (and yes, we watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s together), we caught up with some of my mom’s family on Cape Cod, took a 10-day trip to Washington, D.C. for some volunteer work and sightseeing and we added a new member to our family.

We had a wonderful visit with my dad, he’s a low maintenance house guest. He’s been a desert dweller for the past 5 years so he really enjoyed the lush green of the Northeast. We visited some places nearby and took a day trip to the lake. Towards the end of the weekend, we met his sister for lunch and a little coastal fun.

After Dad left, we had two extra girls for a few days. We brought them home, picked up my mom and headed to Cape Cod for the annual family gathering at my Aunt’s house. It was a short trip, but a great time was had by all. The highlight for my daughter was winning the egg toss with my cousin T. We returned home for a scant 16 hours. Just enough time to do the laundry, finish packing for our trip to D.C. and catch a few hours of sleep. Thankfully, we were already 90% packed for D.C. so, we threw in a few last items and took to the skies.

I’ve been looking forward to this trip to Washington, for at least 4 years and the trip did not disappoint. The main purpose was to attend the NOAH conference. NOAH is an organization I co-founded that supports people with albinism and their families. I was 14 at the first conference and there were 70 people in attendance. There were over 900 attendees in Washington, D.C. NOAH Conferences are always fun, but as a former National Conference Chair, I volunteered to be the utility infielder and assist with any challenges that arose on site, so I didn’t get to any of the sessions. The kids had an awesome time. Each was in their own group. Among other things, Mim’s group had an introduction to Judo, and talked with doctors about what it meant to have albinism. Fish’s group had a lesson on how to travel safely on the Metro and then they were off on small group adventures throughout D.C.

Speaking of the Metro, I think Mim could have stayed in the hotel and ridden the trains throughout the system and been as happy as a clam. He enjoyed reading the maps to tell us what stop we were at and how many stops we had left until we reached our destination.

After the conference we did some sight seeing in Washington. Our stops included, several Smithsonian museums, The Spy Museum and Mount Vernon. I hope to do some more detailed blog entries on trip in the near future. Let me summarize by saying that Washington, D.C. is on of my favorite destinations. I highly recommend a visit, just not in July.

We lost our beloved dog Daisy in February. All of our hearts needed some time to mourn, but by June, we were all talking about wanting another dog. While summer is the best time to get a dog, we knew we had a lot of travel at the beginning of the summer, so, we decided to wait until we returned from D.C. to seriously entertain the idea. Dory, joined us the Sunday after we returned. The story of her arrival and immersion into our family is a blog entry for another time. She is a very sweet dog and has made herself right at home.

The kids are squeezing in a few last summer activities, Mim is at the town’s theater camp and Fish is rock climbing at Girl Scout Camp. They head back to school in just about two weeks time. I knew we had a jammed summer, but it flew by even faster than I expected.

Even though I have not been blogging here my fingers haven’t been completely idle, I’ve had a few posts over at Live to Write, Write to Live, the blog of the New Hampshire Writer’s connection a group a co-founded with other local writers. Stop by and check us out if you have a minute.

Our adventures have given me lots of fodder for this blog. I promise once the kids get back to school, I’ll be on a more regular posting schedule here. I miss it.

So, what have you be doing this summer?

Or, How a Feminine Hygiene Product Saved My Hearing.

Photo: Monty Brinton/CBS ©2008 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. Used with Permission

Do you watch How I Met Your Mother? For those who do, I’m staring a Murtaugh list. For those who don’t, let’s just say, “I’m getting too old for this sh*t.”

I love music. The TV, keeps some people company as they move through their days, for me, it is all about music. The soundtrack to my life is provided by the radio, Pandora or iTunes. I especially love live music. I’ve seen lots of concerts in my life from the super shows like Live Aid or the Human Rights Now Tour, to a cappella groups performing in a college cafe. In recent years, my musical leanings have been more country (much to my husband’s chagrin) and while those types of shows can be loud, typically they lack the pounding base and screeching guitar of heavy metal or rock ‘n roll.

Daughtry is one of the few new rock bands to catch my ear in a long time. I mean REALLY catch my ear. I bought their first, self-titled album and enjoyed every track. I bought their second Leave This Town, on release day. Again, there isn’t bad track in the mix. My husband isn’t a big concert guy and a country concert is out of the question, but he agreed to see Daughtry with me.

Garth Brooks ruined me when it comes to concerts. I saw Brooks on the Fresh Horses tour for $19 per ticket for tenth row seats and later on the same tour, different venue for $23 per ticket for fourteeth row seats. Regardless of your feelings for Garth Brooks, you will be hard pressed to find a performer who gives as much to his audience during a performance. In my mind, it is hard to justify $80 plus per ticket for a band that won’t give me half of the energy that Brooks put out. Thus, we chose the cheaper nosebleed seats straight back from the stage as opposed to the more expensive seats on the side (still on the second level).

My vision isn’t the best, but my hearing is pretty good and I try to be careful about loud noise. About a mile from the house, I realized I’d forgotten my ear plugs. I was running a little late and figured we’d be high enough that I wouldn’t need them. Heh, yeah, not so much.

The show featured three bands, Cavo (which we missed in favor of a quick dinner), Lifehouse and Daughtry. As soon as Lifehouse came on stage, I knew I was in trouble as much from the pounding base and screaming guitars as the screeching teenagers too my right.

Ok, let’s just say it. I’m old. I know it. I’ve never minded when people sing a long with a band, I do (although I try to keep my vocals to a low volume), but screaming not singing, SCREAMING while the band is playing drives me batty. Shriek all you want between songs, but while they are playing, I’d like to hear the band. Thanks.

Two songs in, I broke my cardinal rule of getting up during a band’s set to head for the bathroom. In the ladies room, the bass vibrated the concrete walls. Again, I’m old, but when the structure I’m in is shaking because of the sound, it might be time to turn the levels down just a smidge. I spied a machine on the wall. You know, the ones that NEVER work when you are in desperate need of a pad or a tampon. Fortunately, this arena is fairly new and I was rewarded with a tampon in exchange for my shiny quarter.

There was a gaggle of women crowding the sinks to hear one of their comrades in cleavage relay her latest man trouble, so I headed outside. I can’t imagine what a casual passerby thought of the woman deconstructing a tampon by the ketchup dispensers. When you get down to it. Tampons are cotton, shredded and balled up, it makes an adequate noise dampener.

I headed back to my seat, and waited with the usher for another break in the music. I guess I was gone longer than I thought because A-Man looked a little concerned upon my return. I offered him a set of home made earplugs, but surprisingly, he declined. I managed to survive Lifehouse’s set and by the time Daughtry took the stage, I was able to snag the seat on A-Man’s left putting more distance between me and the screaming meemees. Lifehouse gave a good performance, and while Daughtry wasn’t as good a showman as some acts I’ve seen, he and the band put on a solid performance.

We weren’t the oldest in attendance, but we were in the ahem generational minority. With three bands, the show started at 7:30 and Daughtry finally closed at 11pm. I can’t say I didn’t get my money’s worth but 11pm on a work night is well . . . late. We didn’t get home. Oy, in the immortal words of Lethal Weapon’s Roger Murtaugh, “I’m too old for this sh*t.”

Item number one on my Murtaugh list. I’m too old to attend rock concerts.

Special thanks to Jane Boursaw of Reel Life with Jane and Film Gecko for connecting me to the CBS promo people who kindly sent me the above photo.

So, yes, Mim turned six with much fanfare. There was a family party where he and his birthday twin Auntie Jennie celebrated their birthdays. The menu included hot dogs hamburgers, french fries and chocolate cake. His choice as Auntie decided to skip her birthday this year

On Sunday, we had Timmy’s birthday party with his friends. He asked for a Lightening McQueen cake, no shock there. This will be the third year in a row he requested a Lightening McQueen cake. The first year, we couldn’t get one, the grocery store didn’t offer a Lightening theme. Last year, we found one at Sam’s Club. It was 3 times as much cake as we needed, but Mim was stoked because it came with a functioning McQueen on top. The black frosting used for the road, was a little much though.

We’ve been watching a lot of Ace of Cakes lately, so this year I got brave (or stupid I wasn’t really sure which) and rented a Lightening McQueen cake pan from my local cake and candy supply shop.

The baking and frosting process was an adventure. I overfilled the pan, so the cake erupted all over my oven and took twice as long as I thought it would to bake. BUT, it came out of the pan almost flawlessly. I’m a function over form person, I will pick taste over aesthetics any day, so I made a pure butter cream frosting, no shortening for me. Pure buttercream tastes better, but it is also softer, so it doesn’t hold it’s form as well as a frosting made with shortening. Add to that the 100% humidity and things were a little squishy on the frosting front.

All that said, I don’t think it came out half bad. Most importantly, Mim loved it.

Image Credit Target Portrait Studios

It’s here! It’s finally here! Mim, you are six. You have waited with baited breath for this day since your sister’s birthday in April. Your day is finally here. I’m pretty sure that everyone in our town and at least half the people in the surrounding towns know that today, you turn six. It is the only thing you have talked about for weeks.

If I could bottle your energy and sell it, I’d fulfill the world’s energy needs with enough leftover to fuel extended space exploration. From the moment you wake up, you are happy and in motion. Some part of you is always moving. Even if you body is still, your mouth is moving. There are so many questions to be asked, so many stories to tell. So much information to share.

Just yesterday, you told the woman drawing my blood at the blood drive all about your birthday, our summer travel plans and that your friend E is going to a wedding at the end of June. Your nickname of The Mayor is well earned. You know everyone, and if you don’t, you introduce yourself to them. Shy, you are not.

You are almost finished Kindergarten and as expected, you’ve done well academically. Ms. J. was a perfect teacher for you. She challenged you academically and helped you grow socially.

You have learned to read and this new skill thrills you to no end. This year, you took swim lessons at the Y and you gained a world of confidence in the water. You have a huge heart and a very distinct sense of how things should be. It was challenging for you at first to acclimate yourself to a new group of peers, but you rose to the occasion and although you sometimes still need the a small reminder, you have endeared yourself to your peers.

Lightening McQueen rules your world. Your favorite TV show is Fetch with Ruff Ruffman. You have an active imagination and if your sister isn’t available, you and your “friend” Jason often re-enact Fetch episodes. Sometimes Jason says and does things you know are wrong, and you go to great lengths to educate him to the whys and how of the world.

You love you Daddy, and make a point of indentifying yourself with him whenever you can (Dad and I will fix the driveway while the girls go to the Girl Scout meeting). This sometimes annoys your sister to no end, but she learning not to take it personally. You think your sister is pretty cool and together, you go on many adventures as rock stars or life guards, wizards or scientists.

Your inability to focus on a particular task for an extended period of time can stand on my last nerve, and bust me out laughing all inside of 30 seconds. SQUIRREL! But, you exuberance for life and boundless curiosity make me want to be a more patient person and a better parent.

Happy sixth birthday Mim. I can’t wait to see where the next year takes you.

When I was a kid, I was very active. There was Girl Scouts and I played softball for a while then soccer. When I moved on to middle school, I tried intramural gymnastics and synchronized swimming, chrous, band and drama. In high school I was in marching band, the stage crew and I had a part time job. Life was busy that’s for sure.

Today the atmosphere of kids activities feels different. There is a pressure that in my opinion makes both kids and parents crazy. Today, it feels as though kids are being forced to pick a focus at a younger and younger age. The intramural programs where the intent is to offer exposure and build skills is targeted at the four to six year old set. Today competitive programs that are aimed to prepare kids for long term success start at about seven or eight depending on the activity.

Until recently, Fish was taking a recreational gymnastics class. Once she decided that gymnastics was no longer for her she was on the hunt for a new activity. Fish was born with gills. She loves to swim and loves the water (thus, her nickname). She wanted to look at swim team. The only local program is offered by the YMCA. I asked for the program details while there for Mim’s swimming lessons.

Whoa! I was handed a twenty page packet outlining the responsibilities and requirements. Keep in mind that this program accepts children as young as 6.

Requirements:

Full Y annual membership (in our case$126 based on her age).

Program registration fee $175 for 10 weeks.

Practice three times a week for 1 hour.

Our school day ends half an hour later than the district the Y primarily serves, so to make practice on time, I’d have to pick Fish up at school and rush into town. Not to mention, the need to entertain her brother for the hour and half it would take her to practice and dress (his level of swim class isn’t offered at the same time). We wouldn’t be home until at least 6 pm with homework, dinner, and showers to cram into the next 2 – 3 hours. I hate most mushy food, so crock pot meals are out and A-man doesn’t get home until 6-6:15, most nights, so he wouldn’t be able to get things started.

That’s just during the week, during the spring “off season”. I read ahead to the schedule for the fall and winter when anywhere from one to three weekends are taken up (at least partially) by meets. Meets are all over the region and parents are expected to provide transportation AND onsite support for the meets.

I felt overwhelmed just reading the paperwork. Fish is ten with a wonderful imagination and a need for down time each day. We are family of four. My husband works at a distance and over the next few months will be working on the completion of a big project. That means, an unpredictable schedule and an increased chance of late nights. Thus all the home management falls to me. I’m ok with that, BUT I also recognize that I’m human and I can’t do it all.

I love my daughter, but the truth is I don’t think she’s the next Olympic Gold Medal swimmer and even if she is, that level of competitive success takes dedication her parents don’t possess. Does that make me a bad mother? I don’t think so but still, the thougths nag at me. Mostly along the lines of “everyone else is doing it”. One mom says “Soccer season has started, so weeknights from 2 to 8, I’m either at the field or driving there, yet another family talks about four nights a week of baseball practices and two games on Saturdays.

I listen to these other parents who drive their kids hither and yon and I think “Good for them, but I don’t want that for our family”. As much as I believe in supporting my children’s dreams, I think it is important for them to understand that they are part of a family. They matter, they are important, but the world does not revolve around them. I have a say how my time is spent as well. If I worked full time outside of our home, things would be a whole lot more hectic, but A-man and I have made different choices for ourselves and our family. Our choices may not be yours and I can’t say that they come guilt free because they don’t but they are well thought out and we stand by them.

So, I said no. No to the craziness and yes to a childhood for her and her brother. I know as she ages the commitments will get bigger, and I’ll cross those bridges as we come to them, but this was too much, too soon for her and for our family.

I don’t mean to criticize any one else’s choices and frankly as the kids get older, our choices will likely change. Who knows, maybe I will need to befriend the crock pot. But right now? I just want a little more calm than chaos for my family.

Fish took it well and we are still searching for and enrichment activity that interests her without overtaking all of our lives.

I love music. My life is always accompanied by a soundtrack. If the radio isn’t on my iPod is blasting or songs are just roaming through my head as I make my way through the world. There are some songs I associate with specific experiences, events or locations. With this series, I make an attempt to document some of those associations.

The Song: Me & Bobby McGee by Janice Joplin

The Location: The living room at the home of the M. family

My parents separated when I was about 3. My Dad moved to Annapolis, Maryland but periodically, he would come pick me up for visits.  Since he didn’t have a local place to stay, we would go visiting. Sometimes we’d go visit my grandmother, but at least a couple times a year, we’d go visit the M’s. Mr. & Mrs. M are old friends of both of my parents.  They have two children, a son N who is a year or two older than I and a daughter A who is a year or so younger. I loved our trips to see the M family. They were always very welcoming and I got along well with both kids. It is from N and A, that I learned what the word eavesdropping meant and how to do it. I also got the chicken pox from them! We played pretend games and would frequently pass the hours outside.

This time, it is late on a winter Saturday afternoon, all six of us are in their living room. The room has beige walls and warm lamp light is battling back the gray of from the outside. There might even be a fire in the fireplace. Mr. M. is wearing faded, blue denim overalls. I thought it was cool that he wore overalls.

Janis Joplin’s Me and Bobby McGee is BLASTING on the stereo and we are all dancing around and singing.

I can’t tell you what happened before or after, but I remember the laughter and the joy of belting out that song in that moment in time.

I can’t honestly tell you how often we visited the M’s, but it seems like it was at least a few times a year for a few years. Now that I am a parent with kids of my own, I have a greater understanding of their kindness and I will always be grateful for their hospitality.

I lost touch with the family, but my Dad still talks to Mr. & Mrs. M. Sadly, last week, he called to tell me that Mr. M had passed away at the age of 73. Rest in Peace. Mr. M. I hope your dancing in Heaven.

While scouring YouTube for a the original version of Joplin’s Me and Bobby McGee (yes, I know Kris Kristoferson wrote it), I came across this cover by Pink. I can’t say I’m a huge Pink fan, but this definitely does the song justice. Enjoy.

When Hurricane Katrina slammed the Gulf Coast and Flooded New Orleans, my mother-in-law watched the news with rapt attention. She was strolling Bourbon Street with her husband and my nephew just days before the storm. Like everyone who watched, I ached for all those who were lost and chaos that ensued, but I didn’t have the personal connection.

The flooding in Nashville while on a slightly different scale, impacts me on a more personal level. I’ve been to Nashville three times. I was JUST there in the beginning of February for a conference at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel. Opryland is now under ten feet of water. The pictures and the news stories are jarring.

In 2003, I organized a trip for a group of Adults with Albinism. We stayed near Opryland and took a fabulous walking tour of Nashville, that included Centennial Park, Fort Nashboro and First Avenue. We ate dinner at the food court of Opry Mills and enjoyed a cruise down the Cumberland on the General Jackson Riverboat. All of these areas have been affected by the floods.

Photo Credit Just Malia from Justmalia.com

I’ve returned twice since for Blissdom, a wonderful blogging conference. This last time Blissdom was held at Opryland. When I said I was going to Opryland, people rolled their eyes. “Have a guhd time y’all” they said. Opryland has a reputation for being a touch over the top, but honestly, I think it was a great place to hold a conference. It is the epitome of Southern hospitality and the lush gardens were a welcome respite from the raw New England Winter. Opryland was a back drop for such a wonderful event in my recent memory, it is hard to see the stories of the destruction.

I also think of the people of Nashville and their loss. So far, nineteen deaths have been directly attributed to the flood, but not everyone has been accounted for. Then there are the material losses. Most people don’t have flood insurance and flood damage is NOT covered under regular homeowners policies. That means a huge burden during already tough economic times. What about all the businesses? All the products lost? Facilities damaged? There will be some businesses that will not recover from this catastrophe.

Nashville is coming in to their busiest season for tourism. The long term economic impact of the floods, remains to be seen. According to the Tennessean, Opryland is home to twelve percent of Nashville’s hotel rooms that generate approximately one fifth of Nashville’s hotel tax revenue. Ouch! The Gaylord team is doing its best to reschedule smaller events with other Nashville hotels, but Opryland is one of, if not the, largest facility in Nashville. There are some events that will have to be cancelled or moved to other cities. As a former event planner, that gives me a headache just thinking about it. Other groups with events that are relatively close, but still months away are in a holding pattern until the water recedes and officials have a chance to assess the damage.

All of this said, not ALL of Nashville is under water. The airport opened yesterday and only Opryland and one other smaller hotel (a Hampton Inn) are closed due to the flooding. The honky tonks and the clubs on Second Avenue are open for business. I guess they really have a lot to sing about now.

If you want to help, you can make a donation of the Red Cross Chapters of Middle Tennessee.

If you want to help long term, put a note on your calendar to check out Nashville mid-summer, and into the fall. I bet you’ll find some awesome deals to be had as tourism officials work to remind the world that Nashville survived the rising water.

A huge shout out to the Tennessean.com for truly excellent coverage of the floods. Information was readily available and well organized. It has to be hard to report on the destruction, but their team has done a great job.

How do you explain death to a child? How do you help them come to understand the diversity of human reactions to death, dying and grief? At ten, Fish is starting to experience death. One of her grandfather’s passed almost two years ago, and this winter, we lost our beloved dog Daisy. Death is natural and it happens to all of us, so I think as a parent, it is part of my job description to teach my kids how to manage death and grief. Still those aren’t easy lessons to teach.

We have an opportunity at hand. A member of my husband’s extended family passed away last week. The wake and funeral are this week and we have decided to take Fish to both events. She knew the woman, but they weren’t close. To my way of thinking this is a good way of introducing her to the rituals and diverse reactions to death in a way where she can be a slightly detached observer rather than an emotionally overwhelmed participant (Dennis used to say funerals are for the living).

Fish is fortunate to be loved and cared for by many people who are a generation a head of me (how’s THAT for diplomatic). Both of my parents are still alive as are Aunts and Uncles to whom we are close. A-Man’s Mom and her husband live right next door. The upside is that Fish has access to lots of love and benefits from their collective wisdom in her life regularly, the downside is she’s got a lot of funerals in her future.

I hope we are doing the right thing by exposing her this early. My thinking and I know this sounds morose, is that in all likelyhood, the next death we encounter will be someone much closer to us. She’s the kind of kid who does better when she knows what to expect. I don’t feel there is anything to be gained from shielding her from death. My hope is to give her the knowledge she needs to be as comfortable as possible. Death is never easy, but I hope by introducing her to the process and expectations now, She will be better prepared when she is truly overwhelmed with grief.

I hope this doesn’t sound at all disrespectful. I need to be clear, that we would be going to the wake and the funeral anyway and that there will be other children (her cousins) there. I also want to say that the deceased was a teacher, so I’m thinking she’d understand

How were you introduced to death, funerals and grief?

UPDATE: The wake was Tuesday and the funeral was yesterday. Fish was fine. A little bored at times, but she took the experience in stride. As far as funerals go, this wasn’t one of the more emotional ones I’ve been too. There were tears and there was most definitely sadness, but there was also recognition of a life well lived.

I’m glad she went.  I think we made the right decision. WHEW!

Allow me to set the scene. It is the end of the day. I’ve spent the afternoon at swimming lessons and grocery shopping with Mim and have just picked up Fish from Girl Scouts. She’s giggly with her friend while we walk to the car. As we get in the car, Mim asks Fish if her friend has an younger brother. “No, she has an annoying younger sister like you.” I call foul on that comment. Once we buckle up, she’s moody and stares out the window.

“Ok, what’s up?” I ask at home as we get out of the car. I’ve sent Mim into the house in an effort to grab a minute of one on one time.

“It’s HIM she nods her head towards the house. He’s just so . . . embarrassing! He acts so cool and he’s not! He embarrasses me in front of my friends. I want the old Mim back.”

I’m immediately defensive. “Oh” I say, walking away. “I thought something was really wrong.” Oh yeah, there’s my nomination for the mother of the year award.

I’ve heard this is standard faire between siblings, but I have no personal experience in this area. Here in, lies the rub. I was an only child. I would have liked to have had a sibling but for a variety of reasons, it wasn’t meant to be. When A-man and I talked about having kids, I was clear, that I wanted kids but that I would entertain the idea of not having kids. However, if there was one, there would be two. I didn’t want to raise another only child. It was a bit of a lonely childhood and frankly a royal pain in the a$$ in adulthood. I have PCOS, so we had to work to have one. We tried unsuccessfully for a year an a half to have a second. Ultimately, I resigned myself to raising an only and I moved on with other life plans. Six weeks later, I was pregnant with my Mim (yes, I am one of THOSE annoying fertility stories).

They are four years and two months apart and all in all, they get a long very well. At times the age difference is a challenge, but mostly it works. A-man and I make a conscious effort to have quality time with both kids alone and together. Fish generally is an awesome big sister. She looks out for him and he worships the ground she walks on. I also try to be sure she has alone time with her friends.

After I collected my thoughts, I went to talk to her. I know her brother can be frustrating. That child frequently stomps on my last nerve. I wholeheartedly agree he can be embarrassing. Fortunately, he’s young enough that the expressions and attitudes he regurgitates from his favorite video game (Cars) are still considered cute. He can be loud and bossy and short tempered. But, he’s her brother and he’s not going away.

So, dear readers, what advice do you have for me? I hope that overall, they will continue to get along, but I suspect as we meander through the teen years this is going to be minefield we revisit regularly. To some extent I want to validate her feelings, but lets face it, he’s a little brother. From what I gather, it is his JOB to embarrass her.

Suggestions? Cautionary tales? Anecdotes I can use to illustrate that she’s not alone in this? HELP!!

Photo credit: Target Portrait Studios.  FWIW, they do an awesome job!