Livin' only by Grace

keep a journal with you...

2012-01-29T11:03:00.004+08:00

I was not feeling well early this morning (oh well, that was after midnight tonight haha) so I checked on my notes (via Microsoft OneNote; hehe I always keep a notepad with me, now it's digital, in my phone I have EverNote hehe)... The good thing about keeping a journal? You will always be reminded of something -- then it will strike you.

Here are few notes from my notebook:

Sometimes, you need to stand up when standing isn't easy -Clash of the Titans18.04.2010

There are some things you don't need to pray for but you need to act upon

27.04.2010

Faith is the flower of light in the field of darkness. It keeps me going -Book of Eli28.05.2010

You can't leave everything to fate.. . Sometimes you need to give it a hand -Ever After

03.07.2010

When good people refuse to take position, bad people take over = chaos05.07.2010

God likes to make promises and it is our task to believe His promises

24.07.2010

Answered Prayer

2012-01-18T09:40:00.001+08:00

I listed down my faith goals for this year when I joined the prayer and fasting last week. One of my faith goals is promotion. In our company, for you to be promoted, you have to meet certain requirements like 8 EEs in a 12-month period. (I know it's a jargon but EE simply means Exceed Expectation hehe). So you have to have 8 EEs (1 EE per month, not necessarily consecutive months) or so for you to be promoted from being a Process Associate to a Process Developer.

I am yet to complete the 8 EEs but when by Boss and I had our coaching session two days ago, she said she already submitted my name for the promotion! Hooooray! I'm just stunned and I really don't know what to say. I'm just but grateful that God answered my prayers even though I still need one more EE. He is indeed the God of impossibilities!

He's just amazing! You just have to believe and claim your inheritance! Indeed it is already there even before you ask =)

2011-09-27T07:40:00.001+08:00

I applied for the Trainer post few months ago and I passed... Now, the training for the Training Apprentice has started and it seems like I don't know what to do... I know I can do it... I used to handle groups before, talk in front of a lot of people with confidence and all those stuff... but now, it seems like Im incompetent... im not skilled anymore... i feel like Im on Moses' shoes... but I believe that He who began a good work in me will carry it to completion! He didn't bring me here for nothing! So please pray with me that I'll be able to find my strength and confidence in Him and that I'll be able to endure this season and see His glory revealed!

Going Through Spiritual Confusion

2011-09-12T12:19:00.002+08:00

Jesus answered and said, ’You do not know what you ask’ —Matthew 20:22

There are times in your spiritual life when there is confusion, and the way out of it is not simply to say that you should not be confused. It is not a matter of right and wrong, but a matter of God taking you through a way that you temporarily do not understand. And it is only by going through the spiritual confusion that you will come to the understanding of what God wants for you.

The Shrouding of His Friendship (see Luke 11:5-8). Jesus gave the illustration here of a man who appears not to care for his friend. He was saying, in effect, that is how the heavenly Father will appear to you at times. You will think that He is an unkind friend, but remember?He is not. The time will come when everything will be explained. There seems to be a cloud on the friendship of the heart, and often even love itself has to wait in pain and tears for the blessing of fuller fellowship and oneness. When God appears to be completely shrouded, will you hang on with confidence in Him?

The Shadow on His Fatherhood (see Luke 11:11-13). Jesus said that there are times when your Father will appear as if He were an unnatural father?as if He were callous and indifferent— but remember, He is not. “Everyone who asks receives . . .” (Luke 11:10). If all you see is a shadow on the face of the Father right now, hang on to the fact that He will ultimately give you clear understanding and will fully justify Himself in everything that He has allowed into your life.

The Strangeness of His Faithfulness (see Luke 18:1-8). “When the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:8). Will He find the kind of faith that counts on Him in spite of the confusion? Stand firm in faith, believing that what Jesus said is true, although in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you are asking of Him right now.

-Utmost for His Highest

Christ Awareness

2011-08-21T06:57:00.000+08:00

. . . and I will give you rest —Matthew 11:28

Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once, asking Him to re-establish your rest. Never allow anything to remain in your life that is causing the unrest. Think of every detail of your life that is causing the disintegration as something to fight against, not as something you should allow to remain. Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awareness will disappear. Then He will be your all in all. Beware of allowing your self-awareness to continue, because slowly but surely it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is satanic. Don’t allow yourself to say, “Well, they have just misunderstood me, and this is something over which they should be apologizing to me; I’m sure I must have this cleared up with them already.” Learn to leave others alone regarding this. Simply ask the Lord to give you Christ-awareness, and He will steady you until your completeness in Him is absolute.

A complete life is the life of a child. When I am fully conscious of my awareness of Christ, there is something wrong. It is the sick person who really knows what health is. A child of God is not aware of the will of God because he is the will of God. When we have deviated even slightly from the will of God, we begin to ask, “Lord, what is your will?” A child of God never prays to be made aware of the fact that God answers prayer, because he is so restfully certain that God always answers prayer.

If we try to overcome our self-awareness through any of our own commonsense methods, we will only serve to strengthen our self-awareness tremendously. Jesus says, “Come to Me . . . and I will give you rest,” that is, Christ-awareness will take the place of self-awareness. Wherever Jesus comes He establishes rest— the rest of the completion of activity in our lives that is never aware of itself.

-My Utmost for His Highest

thoughts from Tinker Bell

2011-08-21T06:45:00.003+08:00

When you try to deviate from who you ought to be and what you'll become, it will result in chaos...
But if you'll just be yourself and make manifest your God-given skills, you'll be able to do beautiful and extraordinary things! Because that's what you are. That's who you are.

The Experience Must Come

2011-08-12T13:17:00.001+08:00

Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven. And Elisha . . . saw him no more —2 Kings 2:11-12

It is not wrong for you to depend on your “Elijah” for as long as God gives him to you. But remember that the time will come when he must leave and will no longer be your guide and your leader, because God does not intend for him to stay. Even the thought of that causes you to say, “I cannot continue without my ’Elijah.’ ” Yet God says you must continue.

Alone at Your “Jordan” (Kings 2:14). The Jordan River represents the type of separation where you have no fellowship with anyone else, and where no one else can take your responsibility from you. You now have to put to the test what you learned when you were with your “Elijah.” You have been to the Jordan over and over again with Elijah, but now you are facing it alone. There is no use in saying that you cannot go— the experience is here, and you must go. If you truly want to know whether or not God is the God your faith believes Him to be, then go through your “Jordan” alone.

Alone at Your “Jericho” (2 Kings 2:15). Jericho represents the place where you have seen your “Elijah” do great things. Yet when you come alone to your “Jericho,” you have a strong reluctance to take the initiative and trust in God, wanting, instead, for someone else to take it for you. But if you remain true to what you learned while with your “Elijah,” you will receive a sign, as Elisha did, that God is with you.

Alone at Your “Bethel” (2 Kings 2:23). At your “Bethel” you will find yourself at your wits’ end but at the beginning of God’s wisdom. When you come to your wits’ end and feel inclined to panic— don’t! Stand true to God and He will bring out His truth in a way that will make your life an expression of worship. Put into practice what you learned while with your “Elijah”— use his mantle and pray (see 2 Kings 2:13-14). Make a determination to trust in God, and do not even look for Elijah anymore.

-Utmost for His Highest

God's purpose or mine?

2011-07-29T11:29:00.003+08:00

He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side . . . —Mark 6:45

We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

-Utmost for His Highest

Out of the blue

2011-07-15T08:20:00.001+08:00

I was about to be transferred to a different account today... but I wasn't... i dunno why me but i was one of the selected few who were chosen to be transferred to a different account..
My friends were sad... but I asked God to spare me... and it was an answered prayer! Then my friend Kate, came towards me, hugging me, saying ang lakas mo talaga kay Lord! Pagpray mo rin ako...

On my way to the terminal, those words kept on running in my mind... then it hit me... joker ka talaga Lord! Pinakaba mo ko para lang makuha attention ni Kate? Whew

Indeed He's full of humor... He does things unexpectedly and He will even use you and put you in an inconvenient situation just to catch someone else's attention... because He also loves them as much as He loves you!

Isn't it sweet? =)

waiting... asking... searching...

2011-07-12T11:43:00.000+08:00

what to do Lord..?

I don't know what to do... I can't remain like this forever.. . What do You want me to do? Where should I go? I need to have a purpose.. . and I need to do something... What is it Lord?

empty.. .

2011-07-04T23:53:00.002+08:00

yeah.. . feelin' empty.. . but there's a good thing about it.. . my cup can be filled.. .

just have to endure..

hold on.. . just keep on holding on.. .

2011-05-25T12:20:00.000+08:00

On this day of your life, Mary-ees, we believe God wants you to know ... that God is there for you to hold on.Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do, even if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your faith, even if it's easier to let go. Hold on to God's hand.

why

2011-05-23T12:21:00.000+08:00

misunderstanding. inevitable.

yeah. what else?

i don't have anything to say at all.

... and I don't want the world to see me.. . 'cause I don't think that they'd understand.. . when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.. .

Out of the Wreck I Rise

2011-05-20T08:02:00.000+08:00

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? —Romans 8:35

God does not keep His child immune from trouble; He promises, “I will be with him in trouble . . .” (Psalm 91:15). It doesn’t matter how real or intense the adversities may be; nothing can ever separate him from his relationship to God. “In all these things we are more than conquerors . . .” (Romans 8:37). Paul was not referring here to imaginary things, but to things that are dangerously real. And he said we are “super-victors” in the midst of them, not because of our own ingenuity, nor because of our courage, but because none of them affects our essential relationship with God in Jesus Christ. I feel sorry for the Christian who doesn’t have something in the circumstances of his life that he wishes were not there.

“Shall tribulation . . . ?” Tribulation is never a grand, highly welcomed event; but whatever it may be— whether exhausting, irritating, or simply causing some weakness— it is not able to “separate us from the love of Christ.” Never allow tribulations or the “cares of this world” to separate you from remembering that God loves you (Matthew 13:22).

“Shall . . . distress . . . ?” Can God’s love continue to hold fast, even when everyone and everything around us seems to be saying that His love is a lie, and that there is no such thing as justice?

“Shall . . . famine . . . ?” Can we not only believe in the love of God but also be “more than conquerors,” even while we are being starved?

Either Jesus Christ is a deceiver, having deceived even Paul, or else some extraordinary thing happens to someone who holds on to the love of God when the odds are totally against him. Logic is silenced in the face of each of these things which come against him. Only one thing can account for it— the love of God in Christ Jesus. “Out of the wreck I rise” every time.

--Utmost for His Highest

*************

Very timely.. . Just when you don't have anything to hold on to.. . remember this: JESUS LOVES YOU and NOTHING can separate you from the LOVE of GOD!

Faith--Not Emotion

2011-05-01T18:57:00.000+08:00

We walk by faith, not by sight —2 Corinthians 5:7

For a while, we are fully aware of God’s concern for us. But then, when God begins to use us in His work, we begin to take on a pitiful look and talk only of our trials and difficulties. And all the while God is trying to make us do our work as hidden people who are not in the spotlight. None of us would be hidden spiritually if we could help it. Can we do our work when it seems that God has sealed up heaven? Some of us always want to be brightly illuminated saints with golden halos and with the continual glow of inspiration, and to have other saints of God dealing with us all the time. A self-assured saint is of no value to God. He is abnormal, unfit for daily life, and completely unlike God. We are here, not as immature angels, but as men and women, to do the work of this world. And we are to do it with an infinitely greater power to withstand the struggle because we have been born from above.

If we continually try to bring back those exceptional moments of inspiration, it is a sign that it is not God we want. We are becoming obsessed with the moments when God did come and speak with us, and we are insisting that He do it again. But what God wants us to do is to “walk by faith.” How many of us have set ourselves aside as if to say, “I cannot do anything else until God appears to me”? He will never do it. We will have to get up on our own, without any inspiration and without any sudden touch from God. Then comes our surprise and we find ourselves exclaiming, “Why, He was there all the time, and I never knew it!” Never live for those exceptional moments— they are surprises. God will give us His touches of inspiration only when He sees that we are not in danger of being led away by them. We must never consider our moments of inspiration as the standard way of life— our work is our standard.

-Utmost for His Highest

keep the faith.

2011-05-01T18:50:00.000+08:00

there are things that you want but you can't have at the moment.. .

and all you've got to do is wait. be content with what you have. be still. look up.

He's doing something for sure.

gloomy.. .

2011-05-01T18:44:00.000+08:00

there are days when everything seems so dark.. .

you can't even take that step of faith.. .

but you need to endure.. .

and keep the faith.

='|

2011-04-11T08:04:00.000+08:00

Fight in the position of
V I C T O R Y!

Isn't there some misunderstanding?

2011-03-28T23:10:00.002+08:00

’Let us go to Judea again.’ The disciples said to Him, ’. . . are You going there again?’ —John 11:7-8

Just because I don’t understand what Jesus Christ says, I have no right to determine that He must be mistaken in what He says. That is a dangerous view, and it is never right to think that my obedience to God’s directive will bring dishonor to Jesus. The only thing that will bring dishonor is not obeying Him. To put my view of His honor ahead of what He is plainly guiding me to do is never right, even though it may come from a real desire to prevent Him from being put to an open shame. I know when the instructions have come from God because of their quiet persistence. But when I begin to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate enter into my mind, I am bringing in an element that is not of God. This will only result in my concluding that His instructions to me were not right. Many of us are faithful to our ideas about Jesus Christ, but how many of us are faithful to Jesus Himself? Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can’t see anything (see Matthew 14:29). But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally. Faith, however, is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can’t see the way ahead.

Are you debating whether you should take a step of faith in Jesus, or whether you should wait until you can clearly see how to do what He has asked? Simply obey Him with unrestrained joy. When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have a misunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn’t. Are you faithful to Jesus, or faithful to your ideas about Him? Are you faithful to what He says, or are you trying to compromise His words with thoughts that never came from Him? “Whatever He says to you, do it ” (John 2:5)

I will rise.. .

2011-03-22T05:16:00.001+08:00

♫♪ There's a peace I've come to know.. .though my heart and flesh may fail.. .there's an anchor for my soul.. . i can say "it is well".. . Jesus has overcome and the grave is overwhelmed.. . the victory is won.. . He is risen from the dead.. . And I will rise when He calls my name.. . no more sorrow, no more pain.. . I will rise on eagle's wings before my God fall on my knees.. . and rise.. . I will rise.. .

Just found myself singin' this song.. .

Wisdom from Oswald Chambers

2011-03-22T04:25:00.002+08:00

Beware of isolation; beware of the idea that you have to develop a holy life alone. It is impossible to develop a holy life alone; you will develop into an oddity and a peculiarism, into something utterly unlike what God wants you to be. The only way to develop spiritually is to go into the society of God’s own children, and you will soon find how God alters your set. God does not contradict our social instincts; He alters them. Biblical Psychology, 189 L

Desperate for Your Heart

2011-03-21T10:36:00.002+08:00

Citipointe

CHORUS:
Desperate
Desperate for all You are
Desperate to know Your heart
Your love, Oh Lord

VERSE 1:
In the midst of confusion
In the midst of my pain
I reach out towards You
My lack yearns Your gain

VERSE 2:
In a valley so lonely
Where the shadows are strong
You are my Refuge
In weakness Your strength

PRE-CHORUS:
And when my world is fading away
I reach out towards the heavens and sing
And sing

CHORUS:
Desperate
Desperate for all You are
Desperate to know Your heart
Your love, Oh Lord

VERSE 3:
A Savior so worthy
Of all I can give
Your mercy unending
Your blood washed my sin

PRE-CHORUS:
And when my world is fading away
I reach out towards the heavens and sing
And sing

CHORUS:
Desperate
Desperate for all You are
Desperate to know Your heart
Your love, Oh Lord

BRIDGE:
We will sing
A desperate cry
For all the earth
To see Your light
We will live
Ours hearts on fire
To see Your love
And glory shine

Truth is to be Experienced

2011-03-14T09:30:00.000+08:00

When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, "Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch."
Luke 5:4

When Christ teaches you something about Himself, He implements it into your life through experience. As the crowds gathered around, Jesus chose to board Peter's boat and teach the people from there. All day long Peter sat in the boat listening to Jesus teach the multitudes. At the close of His discourse, Jesus allowed Peter to experience the reality of what He had just been teaching the crowd. The crowd had heard the truth, but Peter was to experience it.

Jesus put His teaching into language a fisherman could understand. He told Peter to put out his nets into the deep water. Peter hesitated, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing." Peter had been fishing all night, had washed and repaired his nets in the morning, and then listened to Jesus teach. He was tired. He probably was not expecting a dramatic encounter with God at a time like that. Yet, as Peter obeyed Jesus, he pulled in such a miraculous catch of fish that his boat almost sank! Peter was filled with amazement and recognized that he had just experienced the power of God (Luke 5:4-11).

Peter learned that with a command from Jesus, he could do anything. Thus, Jesus was able to reorder Peter's priorities from catching fish to catching men (Luke 4:10). Peter's obedience led to a dramatic new insight into the person of Jesus. This was an invitation to walk with Jesus in an even more intimate and powerful way.

God does not want you to merely gain intellectual knowledge of the truth. He wants you to experience His truth. There are things about Jesus you will learn only as you obey Him. Your obedience will then lead to greater revelation and opportunities for service.

-Experiencing God

blessed.. .

2011-03-13T23:03:00.000+08:00

The joy of the Lord is my strength!

I don't know how to describe this day.. . Indeed when I am weak, then I am strong (literally) because He is my strength and His grace sustains me.. .

True enough that when we decide, His grace will be there. I decided to cover for two of my co-volunteers today for two services.. . It was a struggle between going to church and going to bed.. . But I knew I had to do this.. . I have to make time. . I have to choose.. . And it was indeed rewarding! Indescribable joy... refreshment coming from Him.. . This is the start.. . and I know I'll be able to bounce back by His grace alone. . .

grace.. .

2011-03-10T20:19:00.000+08:00

I need it badly now.. . Hooooh Lord.. .

I know this 'stretching' will soon be over.. . and this is training.. .

Oh Lord.. .