Please hear me out. I’m not talking about the commonplace “Thanks” you might say to someone, maybe even offhandedly. I’m talking about saying “Thanks” for something that is unforgettable to you. 

Last night I received a text from a young man who is going to do some work for me. He refused to take any money so I insisted on something else. Since he is doing a big project for me that involves wood (a fence), I bought him a nail gun. He ordered it; I paid for it. Since I wouldn’t let him off the hook for his work, this is a win win for both of us. He gets a nail gun to use for future jobs and I get a fence done right. Here is his text (with some slight word modification):

You forget the word ‘pastor’ and the hours and miles and all that you’ve done over the years. You reap what you sow. Your prayers and support for my parents during my drunken days and dealing with me when I was drunk last time around can never have a price put to it…and what have you done for every other family in the congregation? I’m the one taking advantage of you having you buy the nail gun. I have other tools, but you wouldn’t settle any other way. Thank you. You are appreciated.

WOW! I was overwhelmed to say the least. And I DID NOT post this for you to toot my own horn. With health stuff going on inside and outside my family; with being in the midst of a very busy season (when it should be slowing down) in church life; and more; I was humbled by what he wrote. Here was my text back to him:

You are right. I wouldn’t settle for it any other way. It was either buy the gun or pay you. It was a win win for both of us. As for the other, I am deeply honored to pastor this church. After 21 1/2 years I love these people more than my own breath. As a shepherd I know no other way than to love them. And your parents? I consider them more than sheep. I consider them friends.

I write this to make a point (and it is not to bolster my ego). Being a shepherd to sheep involves more than staying in an office and being distant. A shepherd is among his sheep. A shepherd watches over his flock. To borrow from The Way of the Shepherd by Leman/Pentak (a book every leader ought to be required to read): “Know the condition of your flock.” That is principle #1 of 6. I’ll share the others in future posts. 

This young man lightened my load last night. All it took was a well-timed and well-worded text. YOU CAN DO THAT! 

That is a common expression many use when confronted with people hurting. A child born with a severe defect. A death of someone close to that person. A devastating diagnosis. An announcement that shocks the daylights out of someone and embarrasses the parents. The hurt, shame and utter confusion of someone experiencing a life changing incident. 

We have all been there. What do you say? What do you do? How do you offer encouragement to that person or people? 

Due to some serious life-happenings, I decided to reread a book I read several years ago entitled When God Breaks Your Heart by Ed Underwood. Ed was a vet, a former fire fighter, and was now a pastor writing about his experience with a viral form of leukemia that ripped his skin to shreds and itched so badly he couldn’t find relief. At the time of writing, he had fought this disease for..are you ready for this?…20+ years. It had been about as honest a book as I had ever read. I wanted to read it so badly, I ordered a used copy since someone had borrowed it and not returned it. (Yeah, I forgot to write down their name). 

Back to my point. Pastor Ed tells the story of a couple who looked forward to the birth of their 3rd child. Joni knew something was wrong as soon as she was born. The little girl wouldn’t make it through the week. Already on her way to heaven, their baby would be with them very briefly. Ed’s friendship with the father was deep and during a conversation Dave said something very telling to Ed. He reassured Ed that he appreciated his love, and then said something very striking. Dave said, “So many Christians tell me that they don’t know what to say. Then they open their mouths and prove it.” (P.67)

OUCH! Been there done that. Open mouth insert foot. I remember watching an old TV show when I was a kid called Room 222. It was about a student teacher’s (Karen Valentine) life in a school.  The only episode I remember is where she pretended to know the answer to a question, but didn’t. That fact was soon evident. When the truth came out it caused the students and the teacher some grief. Her mentor told her (and I’m paraphrasing from a very distant memory), “Always tell the truth. If you don’t know the answer, say I don’t know the answer, but I will find it for you.” 

All that to say this: if you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything. Just be there. Words are unnecessary.

I don’t know about you, but I have to answer in the affirmative. I have sometimes felt like I was on an endless treadmill. Even worse, a hamster wheel. Going and going, often in circles, but going nowhere. I ride a road bike and it is so hard when cold, then winter weather sets in. My hands get so numb I have to ride inside. One word describes it: B.O.R.I.N.G. Same as with a treadmill. It’s like being all dressed up and going nowhere. 

Take a moment, please, and read Ecclesiastes 2. The wisest and richest man who ever lived (Solomon) is writing about his life’s pursuits. Pleasure. Check. Wisdom. Check. Work. Check. Breaking it down even further: pleasure, alcohol, status, accumulating stuff, getting ahead, and more, all leave him empty  and unfulfilled. His words: “All is vanity; it’s like chasing the wind.” 

How different from the Apostle Paul’s words in Galatians 5:1-“So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.” (NLT) Now, granted, Paul is speaking of the Old Testament law and legalism, but how many do you know are so busy pursuing what Solomon writes about and are now slaves to that pursuit? Pleasure. Alcohol. Things. Work. Paul is advocating a full and FREE life, not a life of slavery and “chasing the wind.” 

When your life ends what will you be remembered for: pursuing that which doesn’t matter or pursuing a full life in Jesus? Remember: it is not how many days you live; it’s how you live your days that matter.” 

{Note: Several weeks ago I asked prayer for Janna’s boyfriend, Mike. After biopsies and tests, he has been diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer which has spread to his liver and abdomen. I am convinced God is able to heal him if it is within His will. May I ask you to pray for him and Janna? And me and Jo. Thanks}

Yesterday’s message was from James 2:1-13. It’s the passage where James challenges the church in its relationship of the “haves” and the “have nots.” It’s about favoritism. Sometimes, even more tragically, it gets harder to be included in a church than to be involved in a fraternity, sorority, or any type of club or organization. Many churches become elitist “clubs” or organizations, as illustrated by the following:

A woman who lived across the tracks wanted to join a fashionable church. She talked to the pastor about it, and he suggested she go home and think about it carefully for a week. At the end of the week she came back. He said, “Now, let’s not be hasty. Go home and read your Bible for an hour every day this week. Then come back and tell me if you feel you should join.” Although she wasn’t happy about it, she agreed to do so. The next week she was back, assuring the pastor she wanted to become a member of the church. In exasperation he said, “I have one more suggestion. You pray every day this week and ask the Lord if He wants you to come into our fellowship.” The pastor did not see the woman for 6 months. He met her on the street one day and asked her what she decided. She said, “I did what you asked me to do. I went home and prayed. One day while I was praying, the Lord told me, “Don’t worry about getting into the church. I’ve been trying  to get into it myself for the last 20 years!”

Bet you didn’t see that coming! Sadly, that happens more often that we’d like to admit. A church body should N.E.V.E.R. feel like that. That is a reproach to the ONE who died for the church. His death left the door open to all who call on His name-no matter the color, status, culture, job, or place in life-without compromising His truth.  

A church should feel like home- a place where you can put your feet up and be comfortable. My suggestion to you is if you don’t feel like you are at home, then you find another church, one that feels like home. 

So, let me ask you again: does your church feel like home?

That’s a good question to ask. The answer to that may actually set us back on our heels for a short period to time. Or maybe a bit longer. Here’s why:

Most, or many, of us tend to think, or are told, that it is always God’s will to heal us. Or to have good things happen to us. We loathe pain and discomfort as more than just a glitch because we see little or no purpose in it. What can be so good about pain anyway? When I had my knee replaced in 11/24, I knew pain. I had been warned to keep up on the pain meds, to not let the pain get ahead of me. Since I refused to take the oxy the way it was prescribed due to horror stories I have heard, the pain did indeed get ahead of me. It kept me up at night and I was unable to even stay in bed one minute at first. The pain was real. The pain brought tears to my eyes multiple times. But in that pain was healing. And I can also say that in that pain were cries to God for relief. 

So…can God be glorified in the pain? Most definitely. Can God be glorified in a life facing a grim cancer diagnosis? Most definitely. Can God be glorified in a life facing a divorce? Most definitely. Can God be glorified in a long-term diagnosis where there is no cure? Most definitely. 

Like everyone else, I have no idea what the future holds. I have no crystal ball (as if that would help). I certainly won’t consult some huckster, a joke, or a tool of Satan. No. I will place my future in the hands of the ONE who does know the future. See, I believe my greatest comfort is in knowing Jesus. I believe nothing can separate me from His love. I believe that everything that happens to me passes through His hands of love first and He will use it for His glory and my good. 

Lest you think I have received some grim diagnosis…I haven’t. However…I have a friend who is facing a grim cancer diagnosis. I have a “sheep” from the church I pastor who is facing a divorce due to an abusive situation. I have “sheep”/friends who are moving hundreds of miles away in just a few weeks. I have a “sheep” who may be facing a long-term diagnosis where there is no cure.

All painful to see and be a part of but in all of this, I firmly believe God will be glorified. Just don’t ask me how. 

I suspect most of us could answer “Yes” to that question. Some more often than others due to life’s circumstances, but still alone. I will borrow a phrase from others when that happens: “a dark night of the soul.” 

Been there, done that. Life presses in. Despair is at the doorstep. Every breath (physically and spiritually) seems hard to come by. It makes you feel like you are suffocating. Physically, you are wrung out, wondering if there is another step left in your legs. Emotionally, you are drained, wiped out. You feel like you have truly reached the end of your rope. And spiritually? You feel hung out to dry. God seems a million miles away. You feel a coldness, a draft, in your soul.

I think David knew that feeling. In Psalm 56:1 he says, “O God, have mercy on me, for people are hounding me. My foes attack me all day long.” Verse 2 is more of the same thoughts, but then verses 3-4 show a reversal: “But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what He has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?” But that’s not all! Verse 8 tells us that “God keeps track of all our sorrows, and He has collected all our tears in a bottle.” The final coup de grace is a phrase in verse 9: “This I know: God is on my side!” 

God is for me. God is on my side. Even when life seems to be splintering and getting hacked to pieces, I am not alone. You are not alone. Don’t give in to despair and defeat. God is in every detail. Even when you way looks dark…

…RUN TO THE LIGHT! 

{All Scripture is from the NLT}

I was reminded of the price paid for me to be able to worship as I please; to speak as I please; to live as I choose; even demonstrate (right or wrong) because of men and women who paid the ultimate sacrifice in giving their lives. I’m humbled by that. (Perhaps the ingrates who hate our country or abuse their freedom should move to Russia, China or another country where freedom to do those things is not an issue, i.e. it’s not allowed except under penalty of death). I also distinctly remember a Savior who paid the ultimate price even though undeserved.

Back to Sunday: overcome by his emotions, he was unable to continue so he asked me to. Then he apologized to the church. My first words were, “No apology necessary.” There have been times I have tearfully struggled to complete a thought or to continue. When one of my best friends died after a 15 year battle with prostate cancer, I choked up. When my best friend, Dave, died less than a year ago after an 18 month battle with a glioblastoma, I lost it. 

There’s nothing “manly” or “womanly” about being stoic. Denying or hiding one’s feelings or emotions is not a “win.” It’s time to realize we need each other, if for no other reason than a shoulder to cry on or to lean on. 

Find a shoulder. Be a shoulder. 

That is a good-and very valid-mantra to live by. No lesson learned should ever be wasted. Please listen to these words. Read them slowly and thoughtfully:

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our suffering, you will also share in the comfort God give us.  2 Cor. 1:3-7 (NLT)

The gist of that passage is Paul telling the Corinthians “what we have been comforted with, we will comfort you.” 

No lesson learned should ever be wasted or discarded. Big or little. Seemingly insignificant or hugely life-changing. Heart-wrenching or just heart-touching. As we have been comforted, we must pass on that same comfort. 

Nothing learned, no comfort experienced, should EVER be kept to ourselves. So…open your eyes and look around and start asking yourself, “Who can I help today?”  Then…comfort away!! 

I’ve been reading Good & Angry by the late David Powlison. The 2016 book has been sitting on my office book shelf since I got it over a year ago, but just never took the time to read it due to needing to read other books. The book, as you can surmise, is about anger and it is subtitled “Redeeming Anger, Irrational Complaining, and Bitterness.” Since I am considering preaching on those subjects in July and August I thought I would read it. So far, so good. 

Powlison says this: 

In real life, anger is the reaction that incinerates marriages and disintegrates families. It energizes gossip and guns down classmates. It divides churches, turns friendships into enmity, and erupts in road rage. It is the stuff of every form of grievance and bitterness…Anger is also the basic DNA of complaining, brooding, irritability, and bickering…The crucial issues in anger touch every one of us. (p.8)

That about says it all doesn’t it?  But there is more! He goes on to describe 3 different types of angry people. Here they are with my very brief summary:

1. Domestic Gunslinger. After describing a couple who literally had a gunfight in their house, Powlison says, “A gunfight is one way to cut another person off and protect your turf.” (p.11) He, of course, wasn’t talking about a literal gunfight, but simply fighting to get your own way, regardless of the other person’s feelings. 

2. The Volcano. My guess is that we are all familiar with this one. Someone suddenly has an outburst and we wonder, “Where in the world did that come from?” We never saw it coming. Rage seethes, often below the surface, until “the moment” when eruption happens. Someone pushes a button and regurgitation is the reaction. 

3. The Iceberg. This is the person who seems under control, but actually lives in a universe that features him or her. Everything they feel or say can be traced back to past actions, by someone else. Everyone is against them. And yet, they appear to be cool, calm, and collected on the outside.

I’m not a professional counselor and certainly don’t know the answers to all of this. But I think it is important that we acknowledge that we are all angry to some degree. I thought I was fine this morning until things started going awry-little things that don’t amount to a hill of beans-and I found myself being annoyed. Like typing this. Do you know many times I have had to stop and make corrections? You don’t want to know, nor do you want to take a thermometer to my collar.

Long story short: get control of your anger. 

I heard those words yesterday. Nothing serious. For the past few years I have been dealing with and being treated for a trigger finger of my left index finger. It bends and catches and then pops back up (painfully sometimes). I’ve had several injections to try and calm it down. Unfortunately, none worked long-term. But that was not why I was there. I have developed the same condition on my right middle finger (yeah THAT one)-my dominant hand. In the process of treating that is when I heard the “solution” to the left index finger. 

So she gave me an injection in my right middle finger trigger point. It. hurt. like. fire! My hand burned and the finger felt like it was going to explode. (She warned me). Yesterday afternoon it felt swollen and hurt to touch the knuckle or the palm of that hand. It also hurt to bend it. 

This morning it feels better than it has in weeks. In my case, the pain came before the healing. How long will it last-who knows? But I’ll take it! 

There are much bigger things going on in my life-and yours-than trigger finger misery. Serious health issues. Prodigal children. Job loss. Loss of someone you love. And more. (Those are just examples). While I believe it to be true, to hear someone say, “God is working all things together for your good” sounds so blah. True, but blah. Hurting people don’t need spiritual platitudes. They need your heart. The thing is: God is doing so much more than we can see or know. I read a quote by Pastor John Piper:

God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them. 

We don’t know-we may never know-the answer to the “Why?” question. As hollow as it may sound at the time, He is working all things for my good….whether I see it or not. 

I think I’ll have the temporary pain of the surgery for the long-term benefit. 

{Update on surgery request: no definitive results yet. Atypical cells were found but that can be different things. Every colonoscopy I have had, but one, had irregular cells. All removed and a clean bill of health given. Thanks for praying and please keep doing so.}