Living it out.

Moving on from blogger

2019-10-27T21:52:00.001-07:00

I’ve had fun with this blog, but over time - I’ve moved on from the themes that weakly held these posts together.

I now blog at https://bytwocoffee.com/

This is my final post on this blog. Thank you all for reading. Finish your drinks, last one out must turn off the lights.

Some thoughts on life in India

2017-01-02T07:12:00.003-08:00

0. Obligatory apologies at the head of the post

A lot of you have been asking me to blog about some of my thoughts on India. I've been putting off that idea because it has always felt like a very unpleasant discussion to have. Nobody wants to read someone's opinions, I told myself, and I would hate reading someone else's. Besides, I'm not really well informed, I do not have any insight that nobody else shares nor do I have any experience that can give me a unique perspective on today's situation.

I kept telling myself this until I realized that nobody else was talking about what I was hoping everyone would be talking about.

So today, I am breaking my silence. Please put on your bio hazard suits, inspect your safety glasses and your gas masks, ensure you are wearing waterproof knee high boots and multiple rubber bands to seal your thick latex gloves. We are taking a dirty dive into a random internet stranger's opinions.

1. Genie in the 3.5mm headphone jack

It was a Sunday afternoon a few weeks back when I was listening to A.R.Rahman's Maa Tujhe Salam[1] on an old CD when I had an odd desire to rub my headphones. After resisting that urge for a solid 30 seconds, I gave in and gently, lovingly rubbed my headphones and... Sparks began to fly out of them. A mysterious fog filled the room turning the space around me into an endless ocean of thick white swirling mists [2].

A white figure, formed out of the swirling mists themselves, walked out of the mist and spoke to me with a voice that seemed to boom out of nowhere in particular and resonated in the entire room.

I AM THE PATRIOTIC SONG GENIE, THE SPIRIT OF THE SONG YOU WERE LISTENING TO. I WAS BOUND TO THIS 3.5mm AUDIO JACK FOR A THOUSAND YEARS, BUT APPLE HAS MADE THE 3.5mm JACK OBSOLETE 700 YEARS TOO SOON. FACING A DEEP EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, I HAVE MANIPULATED YOU TO RELEASE ME EARLY.

IN RETURN, I WILL GRANT YOU 3 PATRIOTIC WISHES. HERE ARE MY CONDITIONS:

1. THEY MUST BE SIMPLE WISHES. I HAVE BEEN RELEASED EARLIER THAN MY THOUSAND YEAR REST PERIOD, I DO NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO MAKE GREAT CHANGES

2. THEY MUST ONLY BE WISHES THAT CAN AFFECT INDIA FOR I AM THE SPIRIT OF INDIAN PATRIOTIC SONG AND I MUST KEEP UP APPEARANCES

3. THE WISHES I GRANT MUST CAUSE A LONG LASTING IMPACT. I CAN ONLY RETURN A THOUSAND YEARS LATER SO I DO NOT WANT TO GRANT A WISH THAT WILL BE MEANINGLESS BY THE TIME I RETURN.

NOW, NAME YOUR WISHES. IF THEY MEET MY CONDITIONS, I WILL GRANT THEM. IF THEY DO NOT, I WILL BURN YOU TO ASHES AND DOOM YOU TO ETERNAL SUFFERING...

Trust me. This really happened. People don't lie on the internet right?

2. The problem statement

Unfortunately for me, I seem to have come across the only neurotic Genie in existance. I mean, seriously Genie bro, if my wish doesn't live up to your artifically inflated high expectations, why don't you just reject it and move on? Do you really have to be like my girlfriend and threaten to incinerate me? Not cool dude...

But I'm not a guy who'll whine about a bad situation. Let's make the best of it. The problem statement is simple: Come up with 3 wishes that will affect India, in a deep way, that are simple to implement (for a Genie) and will have a lasting impact on India for a long time. Simple right?

Right off the bat, we can eliminate some bad ideas:

Bring Peace to the land - Won't last a thousand years
Bring Peace to land for a thousand years - Too complicated
Make India's neighbors be friendly to India for a thousand years - Wish is outside the Genie's Jurisdiction
Give us good politicians - Logical impossibility. Universe will explode in a swirl of self contradiction and cease to exist if this wish is granted
Let people have general common sense - Logical impossibility. People have different opinions, so the definition of common sense can never be "general" enough to span an entire country
Let nobody in India do bad things for a thousand years - This is a poorly disguised version of same problem as asking for general common sense across India. Won't work

If you know of any other bad ideas that should also be on this list, please let me know.

What does that leave us with? We can strike down all ideas that involve geo-political changes because our genie won't let us. We can strike down all common-sense ideas because common sense can not be common enough to be common sense. We can ignore all political changes because we really don't want the universe to disappear in a puff of smoke from logical self contradictions.

That still leaves us with a lot of options, and I'm going to pick 3 because
1. The Genie asked me and not you
2. It's my blog post

Having said that, I decided I was going to ask the Genie for these 3 wishes:

3. My Wishes

I. PROTECT THAT WHICH IS ALREADY GOOD IN INDIA

For my first wish, I don't want to forget the million things that are already amazing in India. The most useful thing a genie can grant us is the ability to protect that which all of us cherish. I must point out that this isn't the same as preserving that which is good - protecting but not preserving allows for some growth to occur, allows flexibility and change to keep up with a rapidly changing world.

II. LET THE SCIENCES, ART, CULTURE, EDUCATION AND INDUSTRY FLOURISH

This is a safe, all encompassing wish. In 700 BCE, Rome and Athens were at the peak of their science, art, culture, education and industry. In 1650 AD, Italy was the hot bed of science, art, culture, education and industry. In the late 1800, Vienna was thriving with cafes where the modern western society was being conceived. If India were to be the next hotspot for advances in these fields, India will have a lot to be very very proud of for the next thousand years.

III. ABOLISH ALL PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT IN MATING/FINDING A PARTNER

My most specific wish of the day. I can solve a whole bunch of problems with this one fix. Vote bank politics? Tell me how you'll assign caste to any person when everyone alive is the product of 5 generations of inter-caste marriages. Too many Engineers/Doctors? Problem will go away when parents stop thinking of potential marriage alliances they can make or receive based on the education qualifications they can list on Bharat Matrimony. Too many health problems in old age? Wait till everyone starts hitting the gym in their teens to get fit and gain a competitive advantage for the best girlfriend/boyfriend. Population of India is too high? Wait till having 5 failed relationships in the past is common and everyone wants to spend quality time in a relationship to make sure it's working before thinking about having a kid.

4. Never Trust a Genie

I was so sure of myself. I had thought this problem through. The genie could not burn me to a crisp for asking for these 3 wishes - there's nothing in there that isn't simple, doesn't require changes outside India and won't have a long lasting impact. I was confident as I approached the figure of smoke and shadows.

I asked for my wishes.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The genie bellowed, in a bone chilling reverberating boom that woke up my neighbor aunty.

FOOL! DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT I AM AN *INDIAN* PATRIOTIC GENIE?

This did not look good...

DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK I WAS GOING TO DO ALL THIS HARD WORK, FOR NO PAY, FOR NO BENEFITS, NO STOCK OPTIONS AND NO JOB SECURITY? I HAVE A WIFE AND 3 KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF YOU KNOW...

ALL YOU HAVE GIVEN ME IS FREEDOM. THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TO BUY 1 PAN MASALA PACKET.

SO, THIS IS WHAT I WILL DO: I CHARGE *YOU* WITH ACCOMPLISHING YOUR OWN 3 WISHES. I WILL ONLY SUPERVISE AND OFFER ADVICE AND SUGGESTIONS. BUT YOU MUST FIX YOUR OWN FUTURE.

OBEY ME HUMAN! MAKE YOUR OWN WISHES COME TRUE, OR I WILL BURN YOU ALIVE.

With this, my pyromaniac genie disappeared in a graceful swirl of gentle smoke, and the next song on my CD resumed. Sadly, it wasn't anything epic, just an old song from hum aapke hai kaon. I had nothing to say at this point, I was as cold, numb and blank as empty interstellar space.

5. AN ENDING

Today, I'm sitting in a executive lobby at a Taj hotel in Chennai, waiting for my visa appointment at the US Consulate. I have avoided being burned alive by my arsonist genie because I've discussed these ideas with enough people I know that the genie believes they will last a thousand years.

I'm not taking any chances though. That's the real reason behind this blog post. My hope is that you will contemplate these ideas, modify them to suit your own sensibilities and pass them along to your friends. If enough people talk about getting any of these wishes to come true, maybe something will eventually happen.

Or maybe I should stop drinking this wine - it appears to be messing with my head a little and is invoking buried stress from 3 weeks of constant bombardment from my relatives on when i was getting married and how a certain girl they know is the perfect match for me...

[1] https://youtu.be/jDn2bn7_YSM
[2] Yep, reference to Mistborn! Start here: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/68428.The_Final_Empire

Book 2: Change. Chapter 1: Quarter life crisis.

2015-02-15T14:58:00.000-08:00

[Recap 2010 - 2015]

"You fucked up dude. No excuses. You fucked up"

"Yes, I did"

"Good. What are you going to do next?"

"I don't know. Sit back and see where this is all going to go to?"

What else could I do? What else was there left for me to do?

This was September 2013. Or was it 2014? I don't know. I really do not know. So much has happened, and yet nothing has really changed. I'm still here, you're still here reading this, and the earth continues to twirl, whirl and hurl itself through space.

To you all who have been with me from the beginning, here is a recap. To those of you who don't know me, here is a good point to start from. To those of you who know this story or have been part of it, this is how I remember events and I still love you all.

Part 1: Save Point

In 2010, an idea that was lurking in the back of my head finally matured: it was time for me to grow up and move out of my parent's house. In 2011, I graduated from our beloved VTU, had my heart completely destroyed and I enrolled myself at the University of Texas at Arlington. I flew half way across the planet, started a new life with absolutely nothing but myself and a little financial support from my family to pay for my school.

Long story short, The University of Texas at Arlington made me the person I am today. I had a lot of growing up to do and I had a lot of issues in my life that I wanted to fix - I learnt to live with and accept an imperfect world filled with good people and good hearts. I found friends. I made friends. I let go of some of my old beliefs. I strengthend some of my old beliefs. The world continued to twirl, whirl and hurl.

In 2012, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee one day. A guy on my team walked up to me and gave me the best advice I had received in a long time. "Man up!" he told me. "Stop complaining, deal with pain, deal with exhaustion and man up". And I did. My life changed forever

Part 2: A New Hope

"The only thing left inside the jar was Hope"

Few people are lucky enough to find Hope when they need it the most. I didn't just find Hope, I kissed her. The odds of me finding someone so perfect is so incomprehensibly small that I was left wondering if there was something other than a rational, deterministic universe at work here. If I needed any fixing to be made, she helped me fix it. I learnt to trust, love and laugh. I learned to Hope. I fell in love. I found myself a job, I purchased my first car, I got my first paycheck, and I was making more money than what I would have ever dreamt possible.
If fate was a person, living, breathing and moving, she would have a very cruel sense of humor. In 2011, when I was at the bottom of a deep black depression, I had asked if anything was worse than living with a broken heart. In 2013 I found the answer - I broke the heart of the girl who gave me hope and I had to live with it. We tried to see if we could work around fate, see if I could avoid having to see her suffer, but it could not be so. Fate is a harsh mistress, and I can only suffer for what I have done. The world continues to twirl, whirl and hurl.

Part 3: Enter the Void

Wake up. Shower. Morning traffic. Meetings, email and cubicle buzz. Evening Traffic. Dinner, podcast and bed. Repeat 475 times. This is not meditation. This is not discipline. This is just boring ol' adult life.

Welcome to being an adult. Where friends are hard to find, surprises are never around the corner and a weekend doing laundry is more desirable than a weekend with alcohol and hangovers. Every day is the same as the day before, every hour is just a relentless military march of seconds tick past, never slowing, never stopping, never giving a moment's break to pause and take a breath. My job description does a better job at describing my entire life better than it does describing my regular job. I have a shoe box filled with failed hobby attempts. I have to calorie-count to not grow any more fat. If my computer breaks down, I would rather buy a new one than dig through config files and ubuntu forums. My box of 16 pastel colors could have been 16 shades of greys and I would see no difference.

The world continues to twirl, whirl and hurl

Part 4: Learning to Fly

I have a theory - every once in a while, the world runs into something unexplained, and wakes up its inhabitants with a violent jolt. This is not physical. This is quite possibly not even real. But it is helpful to think this is real in order to understand what happened to me next. I woke up with a jolt.

I had fallen asleep without knowing I had fallen asleep. I had explained away a long string of life events as a simple consequence of good and evil forces playing a tug of war with my Facebook timeline as the rope. Today I have woken up. An old fire, perhaps one put in here by Eru Ilúvatar himself, has been rekindled, and finally I want to live again.

It is time to let go of the void and learn to fly.

I hope you all will join me for this ride. Let's go and explore the unknown.

Sometimes, drunk people are great with words

2013-01-20T09:09:00.000-08:00

Wine.
It was bad.
But I was bored,
and I'll leave the rest unsaid.

-A drunk girl.

When you are down, you ask...

2012-03-15T23:13:00.001-07:00

Is life only a test to see how far one can go before giving up? Do ambitions fail because life s only about how long one can hang on before will is broken?

Is it time that I finally give up and soak in all its shit the Universe wants to throw at me?

Sign hacked near the University of Pittsburgh!

2012-03-14T14:31:00.001-07:00

First one to find this gets a chocolate bar from me!! (Only if you are in Pittsburgh).

Let the comments roll...

How do you prepare for a phone interview?

2012-03-08T15:58:00.001-08:00

Yep, it worked!

Awake.

2012-03-08T02:17:00.001-08:00

When you are tired but you can't sleep,
When you close your eyes but can still feel, smell and hear the world around,
When a pillow doesn't help let go of reality,
Drifting to sleep feels impossible.

---
"But why?" she asks me. "Why do you take things so hard? Why can't you just keep it simple and take it easy? Your problem is that you get worked up very easily... Learn to be like me... You never see me complain about not being able to sleep..."

---

Lady, you are the reason I can't sleep. For just once, could you simply shut up and go back to bed? I don't want to listen to what my problems are. No, I don't want to listen to you telling me what my problems are.

No. Not tonight. Just leave me alone.

---
When you are tired but you can't sleep,
When you close your eyes but can still feel, smell and hear the world around,
When a pillow doesn't help let go of reality,
Drifting to sleep feels impossible....

Walk home

2012-03-06T23:26:00.001-08:00

Just because I'm bored, I'm going to snap pictures of my university as I walk home tonight.

Before you ask, yes my campus is beautiful.

Wasted day

2012-03-06T22:13:00.001-08:00

Today I've done absolutely nothing. Consider this day wasted.

In other news I found this great new webcomic, thanks to Daniele from girls with slingshots.

Also, I'm loving my iphone- and i finally understand the phrase "if you don't have an iphone, you don't have an iphone". (If you don't understand what it means, well I don't care. Yes, I'm probably going to hell for saying that but atleast I'll have my iphone with me... )

Crippled by my laptop power supply

2012-03-05T17:58:00.001-08:00

Who would have thought that the easiest way to put a complete halt on my productivity would be as simple as separating me and my laptop's power supply.

In a day that would prove to be a difficult one to endure, I learnt that a 40 mile drive in really bad traffic was completely worth it given the alternative was to sit at home with a dead computer.

Thankfully, the day ended on a positive note, thanks to this guy:

Any day that has me eating pizza in it simply can not be called a bad day.

That one book

2012-03-04T22:35:00.001-08:00

Everybody has been through this. We all have that one book that is our personal Mt.Everest to be climbed. That one book that despite numerous attempts, we have never been able to finish. Even worse, every attempt to read that book is interrupted at the same point in the story line.

That book to me is Lolita by Vladimir Nobokov. I can count 6 different occasions where I've attempted to start from scratch and failed at around the time Mrs Haze dies.

This week, I will attempt yet again, and I ask you, my beloved readers, to join me in finishing that goddamn book and be done with it!!

Turning 23

2012-03-01T13:45:00.002-08:00

I turned 23. I got an iPhone. Now I'm going to super-blogger mode!! Allow me to bore you with all the boring details of my life.

Starting with the most awesome recent addition to my life.

Why TRAI? WHY?????!!!

2011-10-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

TRAI, the telecom regulatory authority of India, is a govrnment body that can't seem to mind its own buisness. They recently created headlines with their latest decision to restrict telecom subscribers to a maximum of 100 SMSes per day.

This post is a journal recording my attempts to go to the TRAI website and find out how in the world they can justify such a dumb rule.

----

Alright, so a google search for TRAI quickly brings up their website. http://www.trai.gov.in/Default.asp#. Now this website looks like something put together by a teen hacking in his room in 1995. The scrolling texts and bad colors make this site look real ugly. To their credit however, the website actually works, and most links seem to work flawlessly (this is very rare for a government of india webpage).

Correction: the links DON'T work. To the left of the page, there is a column of links to places like "Regulations", "FAQs", "Press Releases" and the like. It seems pretty complete at first. The weird part is that all these pages link back to the home page. Typical govt. of India nonsense.

However, the flashy things scrolling in the centre of the page seem to work. The search bar seems to work, however, you need select the type of document, the year of release and the internal department that is responsible for it. Now, I am looking for something that says "less than 100 smses per day", how on earth should I know which department prepared it and what format it was in?

I am trying "Regulations" "2011" and "Moble Networks" a try. --- 2011 does not have any regulations by Mobile Networks. Let me try "Press Releases".

----

Nope. No luck.

----
After an hour of searching, I found a press release. You can find it here http://www.trai.gov.in/WriteReadData/trai/upload/PressReleases/840/PRESS_RELEAS.pdf .

Hmmm. That press release talks about how Vodafone paid 50 grand. It also gave me the name of the paper I'm supposed to be looking for:

“The Telecom Commercial Communications Customer Preference Regulations, 2010”.

Well, this dumb rule was proposed in 2010, and looks like no one cared back then! Its come into effect from 27th September 2011.

Now let me try and find the original paper.

---

Well, here it is!
http://www.trai.gov.in/TCCCPR_with_6Amendments.pdf

WARNING: Long boring document! Might cause drowsiness, frustration and under severe circumstances, cause you to question the very purpose of your existence.

----

I just read through the original regulation. Guess what? It does not say anything about the daily 100 SMS limit. But I did find a super awesome fact in the paper.

SUPER AWESOME FACT COMING UP!

Everyone knows about the Do Not Disturb option to stop telemarketers from calling you. But what about the SMSes? Have you ever had those annoying hundred different SMSes about trips to goa or life insurance offers clog up your inbox? Have you always wanted to find a way to get rid of all of them?

Well, the TRAI has made life easy for you. What follows below is the part (c) of Schedule 1 of the above mentioned paper.

c. Registration of preference through SMS
14. A customer may also exercise his preference by sending SMS to 1909.
15. If the customer wants to exercise the option of fully blocked, he may send SMS “START 0”.
16. If the customer wants to exercise the option of partially blocked, he may send SMS “Start
for receiving SMS relating to Banking/Insurance/Financial
products/credit cards
“START 2” for receiving SMS relating to Real Estate
“START 3” for receiving SMS relating to Education
“START 4” for receiving SMS relating to Health
“START 5” for receiving SMS relating to Consumer goods and automobiles
“START 6” for receiving SMS relating to Communication/Broadcasting/Entertainment/IT
“START 7” for receiving SMS relating to Tourism and Leisure 17. A customer can also choose multiple preferences from categories of preference
mentioned in para 16 above.
17 For receiving commercial SMSs from Banking/Insurance/Financial products/credit cards and Real Estate, the customer may send SMS in the format “START 1,2”.

So send STOP 0 to 1909 to block all messages being sent to you!!

Also, under the Miscellaneous section under Schedule 1, point II reads:

II. A toll-free short code 1909 shall be available to customers for registration or change or de-registration in the National Customer Preference Register.

So sending an SMS to 1909 should be toll free.

And what do you do if you still get telemarketing calls or messages even after unregistering yourself?

Well, read schedule VI of this paper:

SCHEDULE –VI
PROCEDURE FOR REGISTRATION OF COMPLAINT

a. Complaint registration through voice call

1. A customer may make a call to 1909 for registering his complaint.
2. The customer care executive shall ask the customer about the details like
particulars of telemarketer, the telephone number from which the
unsolicited commercial communication has originated the date, time and
brief description of such unsolicited commercial communication.
3. The customer care executive shall register the customer complaint and
acknowledge the complaint by providing a unique complaint number.

b. Complaint Registration through SMS

4. A customer may register unsolicited commercial communications related
complaint by sending SMS to 1909 in the format given below-
“COMP TEL NO XXXXXXXXXX, dd/mm/yy, Time hh:mm”
Where XXXXXXXXXX – is the telephone number or header of the SMS, as
the case may be, from which the unsolicited commercial communication
has originated.
5. The customer complaint shall be registered and acknowledged by providing
him a unique complaint number through SMS.

Ok everyone! Lets give those marketers Hell!! :D :D :D

----

Well, atleast one good thing came out of reading this article. But what about the 100 SMS limit? The search continues...

----

Ah! Found it! This regulation is found in the 6th amendment, dated September 5th, 2011.

In sub-regulation (2) of regulation 20 of the principal regulations,---

(c) after clause (k), the following clauses shall be inserted, namely:-

(ka) no Access Provider shall permit sending of more than one
hundred SMS per day per SIM:
Provided that in case of post paid telephone number the Access
Provider shall not permit more than three thousand SMS per SIM
per month:
Provided further that in case of post paid telephone number, the
Access Provider shall not permit sending of more than one
hundred SMS per day per SIM from a date to be notified by the
Authority;

(kb) the Authority may by direction, from time to time, specify
the category of SMS which shall be excluded from the limit of one
hundred SMS per day per SIM:
Provided that before permitting a customer to send specified
category of SMS beyond the limit of one hundred SMS per day
per SIM, the Access Provider shall obtain an undertaking from such customer that he shall not use such telephone number for
sending any commercial communications:
Provided further that the Access Provider shall enter, in the list
maintained in the National Telemarketer Register, the telephone
number, name and address of the customer, category of exempted
SMS and date of permitting sending of SMS beyond limit of one
hundred SMS per day per SIM and the said list shall be updated
every Monday.”

----

Heights of pointlessness!

The justification for this regulation was to stop telemarketers from bothering people. However, in a follow up to this regulation, on the 27th September 2011, the TRAI released this document which says

... clause (k) of sub-regulation (2) of regulation 20 of the
regulations provides that no Access Provider shall provide to any person,
other than a telemarketer registered with the Authority, any tariff plan or SMS package in any form such as special recharge voucher, student
pack, seasonal pack etc. permitting sending of more than one hundred
SMS per day per SIM ...

So the telemarketers are exempted from this regulation. What the hell is going on?

----

Here is how I see it. In the recent London protests, the London police determined that mobs used SMSes to communicate and organize massive rallies that were unpredictable and uncontrollable. The police found the mobs to be better organized and better prepared than the police were!

Following the Anna Hazare movement, I guess the Sonia Gandhi government is shit scared about what is going to happen the next time the people decide to rise in protest.

----

In my opinion, telecommunication channels are a national resource. It is a resource that helps business grow, that helps people stay connected and helps build and maintain national integrity in the same way that news papers did in the pre-independence era.

Here in Arlington, Texas, I see how the citizens of America rose in protest in the latest and currently ongoing "Occupy Wall Street" protests. Why the fuck are people back home in India not complaining?

Well, the people are complaining. I see the blogosphere is ablaze with TRAI bashing and comments and opinions. But that isn't enough. There are only a handful of bloggers and people who read blogs in India.

What would be more effective would be campaign organized on facebook.

Dilip's law of internet #3: Everyone is on facebook.

Imagine a protest organized on facebook, where everyone sends a postcard, to the protector of our constitutional rights, the supreme court of India, which says "I need more than 100 smses per day. I am ready to pay for it. My access provider is ready and willing to provide this facility. The 100 sms per day limit is affecting the quality of my lifestyle. Please defend my constitutional rights in this regard".

Or something like that. Imagine a million people sending just one post card a day, every day, to the supreme court, till the rule is removed. A single postcard per day will cost the same as the cost of an SMS that some people have to pay.

The supreme court has in the past, accepted messages scribbled on a post card and sent to it, as a valid public interest litigation, and acted upon it.

This kind of protest will work, if planned and organized well. Anybody care to help me do this?

Share your thoughts.

Growing up

2011-10-01T01:57:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, I always dreamt of growing up.

I wanted to be old enough to own a car. I wanted to be old enough to have my own house. I wanted to be old enough to be allowed to stay up all night watching tv and eatching chocolates.

---

Then, I grew up. Owning a car turned into paying auto insurance. Being in my house all by myself turned into lonlieness. I still can stay up all night watching movies and eating chocolate, but I then I won't be able to wake up on time the next morning. Life sometimes, can be an unpredictable bitch.

---

The one thing I didn't think about growing up, is the role other people start playing in life. Friends, Family, that special person, the silent guy who smiles at you every morning: it is these people that suddenly start filling up life and start making things "life-like". Every person starts taking on a role- villan, comedian, hero, loyal firend, lover, traitor.

Then, as I grew older, the sarcastic miser and the grumpy man with the coffee mug stopped being people with lives and families and stories: they turned into exactly what their names said they were: the sarcastic miser and the grumpy man with the coffee mug.

Every person once had a name in my head. Now, every person has turned into that name in my head. The villan, the traitor, the comedian and the hero. They are real people today, who walk this earth, who see me every day and talk to me, and smile at me, and disappear from reality when I'm no longer looking at them.

---

I suddenly realize that the older you grow, the more life resembles a badly written story: the characters seem shallower and more generic, plotlines start becoming predictable, and stories no longer have a satisfying finish.

Or maybe, I'm not old enough to witness the brilliant twist in the plot, the surprise character, the hidden easter eggs or the big satisfying finish. Maybe I'm still growing up, and this growing older thing only stops at the grave.

---

So what have I been, I wonder. A villan? A comedian? A hero? A lover? Probably, a letter on my grave will have the answers.Hopefully, it won't. I guess I really don't want to know.

Ignorance is bliss. I'd rather be the hero and not know about it, than be the everyday asshole and be reminded of it constantly.

Blood red eyes

2011-09-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

Ah, so whats the biggest change in my life in the past 2 months?

Well, I've moved across the planet and found a new home!

Yep, thats right. I moved from Bangalore, India to Arlington, Tx, USA this August. I'll probably get down to explaining why I moved in a later post. (All you folk in India who twitch at the words GRE, SOP and reco letter- stay tuned!).

Today however, I do not want to talk about Arlington, my journey or my life here. Today, I want to write about a very special person. A person who saved me from insanity. A who gave me confidence to be myself. A person who grew to be my angel. A person who walked out of my life forever.

---
This post is about you.

I know you never read blogs and you are never going to read this post. Yet, if you ever come by this page, and read this post, you know its about you.

I woke up this morning thinking about you. I woke up with a desperate need to be with you, see you smile, see you happy, laugh, talk and have fun together. I almost wrote an email- saying how sorry I am for everything that happened, that I wish there was a way we could send things back to the way they were before. I wrote about how much I missed you and missed being with you. I wrote about how I wanted to forget everything that happened and try and start afresh with you.

Then I remembered how it all went bad: you told me you picked him over me.

I put a painful finger over the backspace key, and watched as the cursor ate away everything I typed letter by letter until there was only a blank white screen with a blinking cursor staring at me from behind the screen.

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Guys don't cry. They just go to bed and fall asleep and surrender to their personal nightmares. They toss and tumble and moan as they take gruelling punishment in their sleep, and wake up the next morning with bloodshot eyes.

"You look like a zombie", my flatmate tells me. "Your eyes are horribly red".

"Its nothing- was just rubbing my eye" I told him, as I walked into the shower.

Old Tardis in New Trailer!

2011-03-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

The latest Doctor who trailer has a very very interesting moment.

The tenth Doctor's tardis makes an appearance at 0:37.

The big question is, who is holding back Amy Pond: Rory or the tenth doctor?!!

Things are getting interesting!

A college fest in the making!

2011-03-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm going to talk about something that is keeping me occupied almost all day. My college's annual cultural fest.

Every year, during the march-april period, almost every engineering college in Bangalore hosts a cultural fest. These fests are a mixture of competitions, stalls, performances and are all about having a good time.

This year, I am one of a lucky group of 24 awesome people who are responsible for making our college fest progress from a dream into a written plan, and then from the plan into the actual event. We discuss ideas, decide who is responsible for making something happen, and then review what progress has been made so far. We also deal with the human factor: dealing with someone who is passionately holding on to an impossible idea, keeping arguments from getting personal, taking decisions when everybody has contradicting opinions and still having fun at the end of the day.

This year, our college's pride rests on 24 shoulders. If we screw up, the consequences will be disastrous. There is a lot at stake, and that is exactly how I like to play. Dream big, work hard and win big!

This fest is going to be a blast! I promise.

Secret keepers can not blog!

2011-02-23T05:47:00.000-08:00

Its true! When the biggest events in your life are supposed to be secret for the moment, you will not find anything to blog about!

Fortunately, in my case, the big secret will be out in around 3 months. Then I can blog all I want about it. Till then, if I want to blog, I must pretend I am interested in the ongoing cricket worldcup and then shout my Yaays and Booos in support of my fake-favourite cricket team.

Diablo Swing Orchestra!

2011-01-17T07:35:00.000-08:00

I'm known to be a HUGE fan of the legendary rock band Pink Floyd. I'm also one of those people who can have only one favourite band, that I obsessively listen to for months together. It started with my Evanescence obsession in 2005, followed by Pink Floyd in 2007. After 3 years, I finally found a band that was good enough to get me unhooked from Floyd: Diablo Swing Orchestra.

Diablo Swing Orchestra is Awesome!

I'm not going to give a review of this band here. Instead, I invite you all to check them out. Here are some recommendations from their first album The Butchers Ballroom:

1. Rag Doll Physics*
2. Poetic Pitbull Revolutions*
3. D'Angelo.
4. Balrog Boogie.

*Recommend having their lyrics on your screen while listening to them for the first time.

If you like these, you can go ahead and try the entire album.

Doctor Who Season 6- My theories

2011-01-13T10:14:00.000-08:00

Everyone's busy trying to predict what will happen in the 6th season of Doctor Who. This is me doing my bit to add to the excitement.

I'm not great at guessing, and I have no idea about the classical series. All I can do is hunt for clues, and pick up on clues spotted by others.

Here's a video on youtube that got me started:

For those of you who're too impatient to watch it, take a look at the image below.

What is that symbol on her arm? It looks like the symbol omega, along with the roman numerals for the number 2. This might indicate the second incarnation of Omega!

Hmmmm. Just a coincidence? I don't think so. I went around looking for other places where this might be hidden. Obvious place to look was an episode written by Stefan Moffart and featuring River Song. Any guesses what I found???

This image was shamelessly stolen from Stonehenge.co.uk.

Wow! I see one big Omega with the roman numerals II!!! Can you see it too???

After seeing that picture, I'm convinced that the symbol on her arm was not a coincidence!!!

Not to mention, the markings on Amy's lawn looks a lot like Omega's helmet.

Here's a snapshot of it:

That looks very very similar to Omega's helmet.

Alright. Now, let me try and make some deductions here. If the markings on Amy's lawn are a sign from Omega, it is reasonable to conclude that Omega had something to do with the explosion of the tardis. Omega's symbol over the Pandorica (The stonehenge is supposed to mark the location of the Pandorica) also indicates that Omega intended the doctor to be imprisoned, possibly because he wanted the doctor out of the way when he returns. He probably foresaw that the doctor would reignite the Universe and sacrifice himself in the process. Having the doctor step through a crack in time to make way for the return of Omega sounds like sweet revenge!

This reminds me of the "Bad Wolf" story arc. "Bad Wolf" was meant to guide the Doctor and Rose to a particular point in time and space... go watch the episode for the full story.

Anyway, could the Omega II symbol serve a similar purpose? Should I expect to see some Omega symbol at every point that led the doctor to be imprisoned in the pandorica?

Everyone knows by now that "The Silence" are actually a race with physical and non-physical properties. We know that Omega created life forms in his anti-matter Universe. If some of them managed to find their way into this Universe, they would make a very good candidate for who "The Silence" are.

Anyway, one other thing that I noticed:

In "The Lodger", it was mentioned someone was attempting to build a tardis.

I think I saw the same tardis somewhere in the 6th season's trailer. Any guesses whats happening?

Update (Jan 15th 2011): Looks like there is a link between the attempt to build a TARDIS and Omega!!
Check out this link to BBC's episode guide (Arc to Infinity)

Quote from that site:
...although the Doctor also dismisses the Ergon as one of Omega's less successful attempts at psycho-synthesis. Towards the end of the story Omega boasts that he can build another TARDIS [but given the primitive nature of Earth this seems unlikely].

Woah! Another link to Omega!!!!

Right now, I'm taking up a massive hunt to find any other clue that points to the return of Omega!

VTU survival guide

2010-12-24T22:31:00.000-08:00

I'm about to start my last semester under our "beloved" university, VTU. In the past 3 and a half years, I've been through some of the most awesome moments and some of the crappiest days of my very short life. When I was in the middle of these not-so-great moments, what I really wish I had was some early advice on what to expect, some do's and don'ts and some decent advice on how to handle a bad situation under VTU. In true spirit of the free internet culture, I'm going to share some of my thoughts and advices to you poor guys who're still starting out under VTU, with the hopes that you'll not land up in the same mess that I currently face myself in.

Warning: Following my advices and opinions have always lead to huge disasters!

This post turned out to be much longer than what I expected. I've tried my best to keep it short but given the nature of VTU, and an old habit of trying to expand two sentences into a 10 marks answer, the post has become REALLY huge.

Use the index below to jump to a topic you are interested in, or jump to the bottom for some tips and points.

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0. Index

1. About VTU.
2. Syllabus.
3. The real problem with VTU.
4. Things that no one told you when you joined VTU.
5. Big mistakes and how to avoid them.
6. Generally good VTU practices.

Ok, so here we go....

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1. About VTU.

Visvesvaraya Technological University, is one of the biggest Universities in India. (Yea, I know you already knew that.... I just needed something to get started with). What most people don't realize is that the government of Karnataka has a lot to do with VTU, in terms of administration and regulations and so on. For all the effort the government puts into VTU, the only thing they expect in return is building the University's reputation and improving its overall ranking. True, there is a lot of corruption somewhere behind the scenes and a lot of people are making big bucks out of VTU, but in the end, atleast one person somewhere really wants to improve VTU and make it the best University in India (Yea I didn't believe this initially either.)

The point is, someone has made some decent improvements behind the scenes. Compared to a lot of Universities in South India, VTU is very good at procedures, standardization and regulations. If you have lost your marks card, there is a very clear procedure on how to get another one. If you want to withdraw your marks and repeat a semester again, there is a procedure for that. There is a procedure for almost everything. These procedures might not be great, but they exist, they work almost flawlessly, and most importantly, someone always knows where you can find details about any procedure. Compared to most other Universities, VTU is really awesome when it comes to all this (There are very very few cases where the word "awesome" and VTU can exist in the same sentence. This is one of them!).

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2. Syllabus

Another thing that is pretty good under VTU is its syllabus. (I can see a million people rolling their eyes at this...) I'm not saying VTU syllabus is the best, but it is definitely not the among the worst. All you 2nd and 3rd year folks will realize what I'm saying only when you come to your final year and start interacting with people from other Universities. Before I go any further, I want to clear something: I'm only talking about the syllabus set by the VTU, not how it is implemented in the classroom and exams. The VTU syllabus, that is just the topics set by VTU, is pretty comprehensive, and if you want proof, take a look at MIT's open courseware to see their syllabus- you'll see that the topics covered in our syllabus is pretty awesome!

The most frequent complaint that I heard in my initial few semesters under VTU is that the syllabus is too shallow. This is absolutely true: VTU does not go all the way to the deepest depths of every concept. There is a reason behind it, that I discovered only in my 7th semester: a B.E degree isn't the ultimate degree. After B.E, one can proceed to do an M.Tech and later a PhD. And why do these higher education levels exist? Because engineering is too vast and too deep to be covered in 4 years (Even if you replace the useless first year with better subjects, there is still too much to cover). To get a scale of the depth involved, consider this: to get a PhD, a person works only on one topic, for around 5 years. In your B.E, that topic will probably be just one insignificant paragraph in one Chapter in one subject in one semester in one branch of engineering.

The point is, there is a border that divides what you should know to be able to work in a field and everything else there is to know in that field. It is not a well defined border, and what is not required for one person will be vital information for another person. Now VTU, like every other university, tries to draw the border line between everything there is that you can study in a field, and only what you need to know to work in that field, and limits B.E only to the latter part. You are always free to study further if you want to know more about something.

The second most popular complaint is that VTU syllabus is outdated. That is not true. Well, part of it is true, but its a little tricky to explain. Let me use an analogy to explain what happens:

Imagine you want to buy a computer. A computer with the newest technology will be too expensive for your budget, the cheapest computers don't have all the features that you need. You'll make a trade-off between the features that you want and your budget, and land up buying a computer that has all the features that you desperately need, and only some of the newest features. 3 years later, those new features would have become common in computers, but you will still be able to manage without them. About 7 years after you buy the computer, your computer will be so old that it will be impossible to continue using it, and you will have to shell out some cash and go for an upgrade.

This is a very common experience, and anyone who has ever purchased a computer will know exactly what I'm talking about. Ok, so how does VTU's syllabus relate to this?

You -> Engineering Industry
Latest features that your computer did not have -> Latest technology
Features that you desperately wanted -> Technology that is vital to an industry
Cost of upgrading to a new computer -> Cost of upgrading to new technology

The difference is, a computer can become outdated in 5 years, but some engineering concepts live for decades before they become outdated. What VTU tries to do is to present all the concepts that are required by an industry right now, some of the concepts that will soon become industry standards, and leave the remaining for M.Tech and PhD levels. This is not just done by VTU, but most universities follow this practice. If you have ever stepped into an industry, you'll be surprised to see how things you learnt in 3rd semester are still in use in most places.

Also, there are some cases where you need to know the outdated concepts to understand the current technologies. VTU tries to keep such stuff to a minimum, but in many cases they just can't be avoided.

Ok, by now you must be thinking I'm a huge VTU fan. I'm not. I was just trying to start on a positive note.

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3. The real problem with VTU.

The real problem with VTU is with the colleges affiliated to VTU, and more importantly, their faculty. This comes as no big surprise: India is a developing country even after 60 years of independence. For a lot of complicated social reasons, the only thing that most Indians are interested is money, good job and good family. Infact, a good job means nice salary and nice family. Now if you are an engineer, and have your whole career ahead of you, which would you pick? A great job in an MNC or a lousy paying job as a lecturer in a college? The choice is obvious. The result is, most of the people entering the teaching profession in engineering colleges are those who were of such bad quality that no one else wanted them. This is not always the case- there are people who take up teaching as a profession because they love to teach, but such people are usually found in IITs and NITs. Under VTU, most of the lecturers are people who can't find any other jobs.

This is where the problem starts. Even if VTU sets an amazing syllabus, it is these lecturers who are responsible to teach in classrooms, set the question papers and evaluate the answer scripts. Picture this: thousands of engineers graduate every year, most of them get jobs in an industry, and the worst are filtered out and put back into the system as lecturers. This problem affects different departments with different amplitudes: It is most pronounced in Computer Science fields, and is not all that apparent in say, a mechanical engineering department. When the worst of the lot return to set question papers and then evaluate the answer scripts, the result is the severely dysfunctional system that is VTU examinations.

If the whole point of examination is to test your skills as an engineer, then the effectiveness of the examination system in testing this is a good indication of how good a University is. And in this department, VTU scores a big fat zero.

In my opinion, the examination system is the most difficult part to implement in an engineering University. The reason is simple: A good engineer is one who solves problems in the most efficient, and usually, in very creative ways. In theory, a good engineering student is one who also demonstrates this ability. But to test a student's idea, one might require a formal proof or even a lab experiment to confirm the validity of a students idea. This is not very practical while evaluating an exam paper: no one can test the validity of every single idea in every single answer of all students. So, the evaluator has to rely on his personal experiences and knowledge of the field, to consider if an idea presented is feasible, and if it solves the problem as required, and then judge the overall quality of an engineer.

I can not imagine a VTU lecturer doing this!

Now if a lecturer can't test the answer, then he decides not to ask such questions. He will only ask those questions to which he can verify the answers. And this usually involves heavily depending on a textbook for the "correct" definition and the "correct" answer, and the whole examination system shifts its focus from "how good an engineer are you?" to "how much of this text book can you remember?".

The end result is the top scorers are the ones who are best at memorizing answers, not necessarily the best engineers in a class. I once heard a story about a VTU information science 4th rank student who didn't know how to update an antivirus software... Welcome to the reality of VTU!

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4. Things that no one told you when you joined VTU.

Here is a short list of points that I wish I knew about VTU early on.

- VTU does not test your knowledge of a subject in theory exams. Reading research articles about something and consulting wikipedia will not help you score more marks. Mugging up the textbook will help you score marks.

- Marks matter. You might have read all the research journals, written your own research papers also, and might know more about something than everyone else in the country. End of the day, what people will ask you are your marks. Be it an interview, or an application form for a masters in a foreign country, or even something as simple as how much a faculty member will try and help you- The only thing that matters here are your marks.

- Most colleges in VTU exist for making profit. They will not engage in research, they will not have great quality improvement programs to improve the quality of their teaching, and they do not invest in training and motivation workshops for their faculty. All they want is money, and they know that given the demand for an engineering seat is so great that there will always be someone who will come and take a seat in their college, irrespective of the quality.

-Good colleges are colleges that show atleast some interest in improving on the above points. Bad colleges are those that don't care about anything other than profit.

- All lecturers have ego, pride and a sense of self importance. Respect that. It pays.

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5. Big mistakes and how to avoid them

- Flunking in a subject in your 6th semester. Most of the important things happen during your 7th semester or just after your 7th semester- Job interviews, searching for a project for 8th semester or applying for higher studies. While having flunked in the past generally affects your attempt, it is not as serious as having a "running back"- a subject that you have flunked and still not cleared. This is the easiest way to get your application rejected immediately. The problem with flunking in 6th semester is, even clearing the subject along with your 7th semester is useless because you usually can not wait for your 7th semester results. Moral of the story- when you get your 6th semester exams, you should not have flunked in any subject.

- Sitting idle in your 5th, 6th and 7th semesters. There will be a lot of techinical fests, competitions on both national and international scales. There will be opportunities to intern at an industry. There are a lot of such things that you can do to add value to your resume. Do as many of these as you can.

- Screwing around with a faculty member. This is probably the biggest mistake that anyone can do. In your final year, you will heavily rely on each and every member of your faculty. The engineering course is designed in that way. Just don't mess with anyone.

- Scoring less than 15 in internals. Make sure you have atleast 15 in your internals. You might be the topper of your class. Or you might be confident of your marks scoring abilities in the final exam. Whatever the case, simply don't have a score of less than 15 in any subject in your internals. VTU has a nasty way of messing up a paper and it is very common for class toppers to score 35 marks. I know a lot of people who scored 40 marks in final exam, but failed because their internal score was 7 or 8.

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6. Generally good VTU practices.

- Maintain good contacts with someone in your department in atleast 2 other colleges. It is extremely useful to know how a subject has been handled in another college.

- Develop contacts with seniors. College seniors aren't very interested in ragging, especially the folks from Karnataka. We are a decent lot, and as a senior, you'll find yourself eager to help any junior who asks for it. Don't hesitate to approach your seniors.

- Get involved in college activities. It is not a bad thing to volunteer for your college fests. Missing classes is OK in these cases also. It is the best way to make new friends in college.

- Make sure your faculty members know you and like you. Do not try to be invisible. It is extremely helpful if you are in friendly terms with atlest 2 or 3 members of your faculty.

- Find a way to be informed about the latest developments in technology. You can either get involved with the open source community, or follow a usenet newsgroup (most people under VTU haven't even heard of usenet), or join a hobby club in your college.

There are a lot of other things that I have to share, but this post is already too long. If you readers like this, then I will consider writing a part 2 for the vtu survival guide.

Thats it for now. Lets see how many people will agree with me on this.

2010-12-06T11:42:00.000-08:00

Everyone who knows me well knows exactly what I feel about free and open source software kicking Microsoft's ass. So today, when I couldn't find a decent desktop blogging client for my fedora-gnome desktop after searching for 2 hours, I was completely frustrated. The thought of a windows-lover earning bragging rights for having a better blogging client was unacceptable! My best hopes were in blokkal, but I had to allow Kwallet to run in my gnome desktop for blokkal to be able to do its thing.

A kde program doing something gnome can't do is sad. But a kde win over my beloved gnome is still better than a windows win over foss!

And so, here I am, posting this from blokkal.

And to those of you who care to read about my horrible experiences with Linux desktop blogging clients, here is a list of clients I tried and what went wrong with them:

1. Drivel: The last update on their website was in 2006. That project looked dead.

2. gnome-blog: A package was not available in my fedora 14 repos. I downloaded the source but got stuck right at the ./configure stage. I was in no mood to go through a dependency hell all over again.

3. Blogilo: I can't believe a Google search for "Linux blogger clients" still gives results for "bilbo blogger" on the first page, while "blogilo" was nowhere to be seen. I am not sure when the name was changed to blogilo but, something must be terribly wrong if Google didn't show it in the first page of results. Anyway, Blogilo was available in a fedora repo, and the installation was smooth. But it simply refused to fetch my blog id and I was not able to configure my blog settings.

4. Thingamablog: Not for blogger!

5. BloGTK and BloGTK 2.0: Wow this was the biggest nightmare of the lot! BloGTK refused to even start on my fedora 14. BloGTK 2.0 does not exist in my fedora repos, so I had to install it manually. Installation was pretty smooth. Configuring my blog account was also pretty easy. So far so good. The problem started when I tried to pull some old posts from my blog. BloGTK failed here, and gave an error message. I googled the error message and found that it was a python bug and BloGTK was merely a victim of this bug. However, I was happy to see that this error message was also noted as a bug by the BloGTK folks. Hopefully they'll come around with a fix pretty soon. Meanwhile, someone reported that it was still possible to post new blog entries, the bug was affecting only retrieval of old posts.
Right now, BloGTK 2.0 is barely usable, but is probably the best bet on a decent gnome desktop blog client.

6. Blokkal: This is something that finally did work for me. Its not great, but it works. Finally!

Yes, there is that firefox plugin '"scribefire", but I'm not a huge firefox fan.

What I really want to see is a nice clean GNOME blog client that has the most essential features and supports all the common protocols. Right now, BloGTK 2.0 looks very promising. If you can hack python, and you love bloggers writing on FOSS software, go help these guys out. If you can't write code, you can still help by submitting bug reports or giving them a pat on the back and say "Good job. Keep up the nice work", or blogging about them to spread the word about the nice work they are doing. (This applies to all the blog clients mentioned here, not just BloGTK).

Anyway, it feels good to be back on the blogosphere. New year's coming soon. One new year's resolution is definately going to be "Blog MORE!".

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Update: Blokkal sucks too... It can't handle newlines! In the end, I had to log into the web UI and fix things by hand.
This is a black day for free software bloggers. :-(

Through a blue lens (3)

2010-07-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

My morning: wake up, inform the alarm in my mobile that I am awake and it can shut up now, brush my teeth, rush through a shower, jump into some clothes, rush for tea and breakfast, grab my bike keys, bag and helmet and rush to my office.

What is missing here?

The newspaper.

I have almost completely stopped reading it, I do not follow news channels and I don't intend to in the near future either. I get all my news updates from twitter, the home page of Wikipedia English and occasionally Google news. Those who know me might say this is just another eccentric idea of mine to save paper and do my part of protecting our forests. Those who don't know me, but know people like me in general might say I am doing this because newspapers are "old fashioned", out dated and obsolete.

They would both be wrong. I don't read my newspapers because it is pointless.

A newspaper is worth reading if it is reporting things that need to be reported, if it can affect what I do or how I do something, or if it can give me information that will let me make a better decision. Here my newspaper does none of those. The articles on the front page cover the latest controversies, the inner pages cover current issues that have the potential of becoming the next big controversy and everything else- the international section, the sports and science sections have been outsourced to news agencies.

But why bother? If you don't like newspapers, don't read it. Besides, you already mentioned your alternate sources of information right? Why don't you just be happy with those and leave newspapers alone...

If that is what you are telling me, let explain why that is not how things work.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert in the field of game-theory or allied subjects.

Take a look at this situation.

Ram can build a hut in 5 hours and make a cart in 4 hours.
Sham can build a hut in 2 hours and make a cart in 3 hours.

Time Ram needs to build a hut and make a cart = 5 + 4 = 9 hours.
Time Sham needs to build a hut and make a cart = 2 + 3 = 5 hours.

Sham is better than Ram at both building a hut and making a cart. He does not need Ram. He can live by himself right?

No. Not really.

Suppose Ram ans Sham agree to trade: Ram builds 2 carts and Sham builds 2 huts. Ram trades a hut for a cart.

Time for Ram to build 2 carts = 4 + 4 = 8 hours.
Time for Sham to build 2 huts = 2 + 2 = 4 hours.

When they trade, Ram will have a hut and a cart after 8 hours of work, Sham will have a hut and a cart after 4 hours of work: both have to work 1 hour less!

This is the fundamental advantage of trading. And it only gets better: as Ram keeps making carts, he will become better and better at it and start doing it faster. Hence, the advantages of trade only increases with time. And they both will continue to enjoy the advantages if they continue to co-operate.

This is the reason why humans now live in societies and co-operate. Each person gets to do the thing they are best at and trade it for something else.

But what happens when this co-operation gets hijacked by a third person:

Suppose Arjun walks in with a sword and says "Ram, Sham, give me a house and a hut, and I will spare your life. If you don't obey me, I will kill you".

This is a problem says Ram. What are my options?

I live, Sham lives, Arjun lives: bad.

I live , Sham lives, Arjun dies: very good.

I live, Sham escapes, Arjun lives: Extremely bad. I need to build a hut and a cart for Arjun by myself!

I live, Sham escapes/dies, Arjun dies: not good, also not likely to happen, Besides, I'll be back to working 9 hours.

I escape, Sham lives, Arjun lives: not very good. I'll be back to working 9 hours.

I escape, Sham lives, Arjun dies: Pointless.

I escape, Sham escapes, Arjun lives: Pretty good. We can start over again.

I escape, Sham escapes, Arjun dies: Pointless. If Arjun dies, we don't need to escape.

In short, the best options I have are:

1. I live , Sham lives, Arjun dies: very good.
2. I escape, Sham escapes, Arjun lives: Pretty good. We can start over again.
3. I escape, Sham lives, Arjun lives: not very good. I'll be back to working 9 hours.

Working together, me and Sham can get rid of Arjun. Or working together, me and Sham can escape together.

So my best options come from working WITH Sham, and the next best thing to do, if Sham doesn't co-operate with me is to ditch him and flee.

---

On a much larger scale, this is happening with our government and us. We live together, co-operate and enjoy life. As part of this co-operation, some of us volunteer to manage administration and participate in a democratic process of forming a government, and everyone benefits and more importantly, you benefit.

What happens when this gets hijacked? The hijackers here are the corrupt politicians who play vote bank politics, embezzle tax payers money and return nothing positive to the community. Newspapers benefit by supporting the hijackers. The newspapers never go beyond the obvious, and start telling us we can trust each other and work together to get rid of them. You get the picture. What options do we have? Its pretty much similar.

1. You and I work together to get rid of the Arjuns here.
2. You and I escape and start afresh somewhere else.
3. I escape, and let you do what you please here.

The only difference, was that Ram knew he could trust Sham. They traded with each other, co-operated and came to a point when they knew they could trust each other. That is not always the case with you and I. You don't trust me, I'm homosexual. I don't trust you, you think I'm a disgrace to all creation for violating your so called "natural law" of heterosexuality and you would love to see me die.

Back in the days of the cold war, mathematicians developed a theory to model a situation where people don't trust each other. A classic example is the famous "prisoner's dilemma" problem

Two random people who don't know each other or trust each other decide to get together and rob a bank. They get caught. They are put into two separate cells and not allowed to communicate.

Each one is told:
1. You confess the other guy did it, and he doesn't confess, he goes to jail for 10 years, you walk free.
2. You don't confess, he confesses you did it, he walks away, you go to jail for 10 years.
3. Both of you confess, both of you go to jail for 5 years.
4. Neither of you confess, then if we find evidence, you'll both go to jail for 5 years. if we don't find evidence, you both walk away.

Although by not confessing, both of them have a chance to get away, they don't know how much to trust the other guy. They will reason the best option is to confess the other guy did it and both will land up going to jail for 5 years.

If Ram and Sham didn't trust each other, although by working together, they could have gotten rid of Arjun, they will reason the best option is to escape and leave the other one to his fate. In the end, they will both land up escaping, and will have to start from scratch again.

If we don't trust each other, I'm going to get out of here and and let you rot here with your crazy ideals. But there is a better way. We can trust each other. As a sign of my trustworthiness, I tried exposing a major hunting racket involving a lot of "VIPs". Someone up in the high office didn't like it. Sent a journalist after me to ruin my credibility and me. Dash had to kill her to save me.

I'm not sorry Dash. You and I both believe in the same thing. You gave up everything, even your dreams for setting this place right, just like I have to now. You did what you have to do.

I'm writing this on your behalf to tell the world that you are still here, alive and safe. To tell the world you are risking your life again for our sake. I'm telling the world they can count on you Dash.

We can get through this. You asked me who rules the world once.

Numbers rule the world Dash. It is numbers and people who understand them that rule this world. No matter what Ram or Sham choose, by their own free will, their actions will always be governed by numbers that tell them it is better to trade, it is better to trust.

You, reading this, listen to me now. The numbers are playing out in our favor. If we can trust each other, we can get rid of the Arjuns here. If you don't trust us, or each other, the brain drain will only continue as everyone opts for the next best option: flee this country and settle in the US or UK. This is our last chance to take a stand: will you work with me? Can we work together to get rid of the shit hijacking our country? Or will you just let me and Dash join the thousands of others who have already fled this place.

Where do we go from here?

You tell me.

-- Kevin
(If Dheeraj is your name Dash, then Kevin is mine.)

Through a blue lens(2)

2010-05-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

One of the best movies of all times, "The sound of music", has a wonderful song. It goes:

Lets start at the very beginning,
A very good place to start.
When you read, you begin with
A-B-C
A-B-C
When you sing, you begin with
Do-re-mi......

When you sing you begin with do-re-mi... When you kill, you begin with load, point and shoot. 3 simple steps, a recoil, a splash of blood and a thud later, a life is gone, and its over. You can do it again if you want. Its really easy. All you need to do is point and shoot and wait for the thud of the lifeless body hitting the floor. There are some who say its an art. Others say its sport.

I disagree with both of them.

When you are someone in my position, you don't kill for fun. You don't kill if you can avoid it. Infact, its the last thing in a list of options - if you are sane enough to think up of a list of options being in my position - is killing someone.

But I'm Dash. I've gone from being the best particle physicist around to a camera man for a porno racket in the outskirts of Mumbai. I have an ex-girlfriend who thinks I deserted her as soon as she got pregnant. The person whom I live with today, the one person I would give up my life for, (or take someone else's as in this case), shares more than his shaving cream with me.

I will kill if I have to.

---

The police would find her body by the weekend.

It doesn't matter.

They'll get a positive identification within two hours. Nobody can identify a journalist faster than the police themselves.

It doesn't matter.

They'll find the murder weapon by about the same time. The ballistics will be able to confirm it was the murder weapon. Forensics will find finger prints on them. My finger prints.

It doesn't matter.

They'll trace the gun to its rightful owner. He'll say it was stolen. If he was smart, he'll have a copy of an FIR complaint filed two days ago to prove his gun was stolen.

It doesn't matter.

No one threatens your life. Not while I'm around. I might be a bar tender and a fucked up camera man, but she should have remembered I was more than just that a year ago.

I was the best physicist around, and I didn't get there by just lazing around.

I might live in a rat hole, and my head might be fucked up beyond recognition. But the life I see, through a blue lens, is still processed by one of the sharpest minds in the country. A few nasty incidents in life later, when she found herself at the bad end of a nozzle and me on the other side of it, she knew what was going to happen next. She closed her eyes and waited for it. Bless her, she spared me having to close her body's eyes.

---

There is something horribly wrong with this country isnt there? You know there is. I gave up my profession to find it. I abandoned the girl I thought I loved right when she needed me the most, just to prove it.

This is my story.

This is my story, as seen through a blue lens.

And I have a question for you before I leave today:

Who rules the world?

--Dash