Here are the books that have influenced me the most this past year. My focus this past year has been to get out of the rut of ‘comfort and ease’ and really push myself to discover what it means to be a Creative Entrepreneur.

The War of Art

by Steven Pressfield

Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles

I’m on my second reading of this book this year. This book is a kick-in-the-butt. It’s basically about doing the work that’s inside of us. Too often we let our creativity slide.  Pressfield’s perspective is that we give in to the resistance. Will we do what it takes to break through the resistance?

Tribes

by Seth Godin

We Need You to Lead Us

This is another book that I read twice this year. The internet has removed the barriers of geography, cost, and time in leading other. Tribes (groups of people) have never been so easy to form. Along with that, are the opportunities for people to step forward. Leadership opportunities abound. Who will lead?

Unmarketing

by Scott Stratten

Stop marketing. Start engaging.

I love the byline of this book. As one who enjoy really engaging with others and tires quickly of chit-chat, I found this book fascinating and encouraging. It’s about building relationships amidst the wide-spread use of technology, including social media.

The Cancer Conqueror

by Greg Anderson

I’m sure the title of this book narrows the potential audience, but this is a book for anyone wanting to live life more fully. A good friend who is ‘cancering’ (a term used by the author) shared this book with me. The author, Greg Anderson, was told he had 30 days to live. That was over 20 years ago. My favorite quote from the book is “Choose to live life fully as long as we live!” He takes the reader (with or without cancer) through life-changing principles, challenging our thought patterns, our habits, and our beliefs. It’s a life changer.

Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

by John Maxwell

What the most effective people do differently

Talk is cheap. I’d include blogging, facebook updates, tweets, etc is also cheap. Every one talks, and millions of people are on social media. How can we make our words matter? It’s all in connecting. Maxwell includes Five Principles and Five Practices to help us learn to connect one-on-one, in a group, or with an audience. In learning to connect, all your relationships change – from your kids to your boss to your neighbor.

Special Mention

Uncertainty

by Jonathan Fields

Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance

This book is a late-comer on my list because I just picked it up a couple of weeks ago, but it’s a life-changer. Instead of running from uncertainty, Fields challenges us to embrace it. The act of embracing uncertainty can become the catalyst for innovation and creation. Fields discusses techniques and processes we can use to help us turn uncertainty into creativity and productivity…and even enjoy the journey along the way.

 What books have impacted you this past year?

Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it—every, every moment?  -Emily Gibbs, in Our Town by Thornton Wilder

Life is. . .about a greater hunger that is beyond words and food…Life is worth living in and of itself. Life cannot be satisfied when it is lived out as a consuming entity. -Ravi Zacharias

Have you noticed how many hungers there are in life? They might also be referred to as yearnings, desires, longings. My guess is you’ve experienced a number of these hungers. The hunger for truth, the hunger for love, the hunger for knowledge, the hunger to belong, the hunger to express, the hunger for justice, the hunger of the imagination, the hunger for significance. The list goes on. The hunger for creativity, the hunger for relationship, the hunger for family, the hunger for acceptance.

Too often we try to bury the hungers of life. Sometimes it’s too overwhelming, sometimes it’s too sad. Sometimes it seems it doesn’t really matter anymore. Yet, if we can stay the course, if we can let the hunger spur us on, the hunger becomes the driver to find truth, to find love, to find knowledge, to find belonging.

As wonderful as that might sound, I believe it’s impossible to fulfill all the hungers all the time. We may fill very satisfied with our friendships, but the hunger for justice doesn’t leave us alone. I wonder, can we learn to live with the hunger?

Instead of desperately trying to feed the hunger, what if we chose to live with the hunger? What if we embraced the hunger and thought of it as the motivator to live more fully? the instigator to try new things? the inspiration to add value to others? the initiator of making our life count? the stimulator of making a difference?

Can we embrace the hunger? Can there be shift at our core of realizing we can’t satisfy all the hungers of life, instead we can choose to embrace the hunger and use that as a driver to make our lives count?

What do you think?

The thoughts for this post came from reading the book Jesus, Among Other Gods by Ravi Zacharias.

Photo by Striatic on Flikr

Great listeners make great friends. They also make great mentors, great coaches, great leaders.

The simple act of listening well gives value to those around you. How do we listen well?

Be Quiet!

Someone that listens well doesn’t feel the need to fill quiet with words. A pause in the conversation, a break from the chatter – these are actually powerful communication tools. Sometimes more can be spoken in a pause or in the midst of quiet, than can be spoken out loud. A respite from words lets what’s deep inside us surface. There’s treasure deep inside each person. Allow the deep to surface in the quiet.

Don’t Interrupt

It’s rude. It devalues the person speaking. When you’re having a pleasant conversation with a friend or a spouse and they are sharing their thoughts or a story, let them share. You can add thoughts and comments when there’s a pause in the conversation. If you tend to forget your thoughts or comments, jot down a note. Then bring it up when they’ve finished their thoughts.

I would add that there are a few exceptions to not interrupting. Most of the time it is rude but there are a few occasions where it’s necessary to interrupt. For example, it’s good to interrupt constant negativity.

Ask Questions

This is one of my favorites. Asking questions indicates you care. Questions invite others to share. It values them. It communicates interest. Its say I want to know more about you.

Observe

Often times there’s more said in the body language and in what’s not said than in what is spoken. What is their body language saying? What aren’t they saying? Depending on the type of relationship, you may have an open door to explore unspoken words, or you may just have to be aware of what you are picking up.

Clarify Your Understanding

It’s surprising how the very same words can mean two very different things to two different people. As you converse with others, make it a point to verify your understanding. This can be done  by simply stating “If I understand you correctly, you’re saying….”. Or, “Just to make sure I understand, …” Or, “So what you’re saying is ….. Right?”

Tell them you care

Some of the most meaningful words spoken to me recently are “I care about what you do.” It’s only six words, but I felt those six words go right to my very soul when they were spoken to me. Don’t hesitate to tell others you care.

For another perspective on becoming a better listener, visit 7 Powerful Tips To Becoming a Better Listener.

Photo by Nishanth Jois on Flickr

There is power behind contentment. Not an overt power that seeks to control, but an inner power that says I’m ok with who I am. This kind of power seeks to serve, seeks to make a difference, seeks to make the world a better place.

It starts with contentment. John Maxwell, in his video series “A Minute with Maxwell”, mentions that contentment is a stabilizer for success.

Contentment is the ability to know who you are, accept who you are. It’s the ability to appreciate who you are and value where you are in the journey.

Contentment values where you are in the journey.  Discontentment doesn’t. Instead of seeing how far we’ve come, discontentment makes us strive to get to the next point in our journey – only to arrive there and start the cycle over of striving to get to the next point beyond that. Contentment values where I am now. Contentment enjoys the moment.

Contentment gives you the energy and strength to continue the journey. Contentment is an inner strength combined with a peace and a knowing that I’m on my way. It’s fuel for the journey.

Discontentment keeps you moving, but not necessarily moving well. Discontentment can be a great motivator, but it can also be a huge distraction. Discontentment tends to breed anxiety.  Instead of moving forward, we find ourselves on rabbit trails going nowhere.

Contentment is a security based within you that allows you to know who you are, where you are going and the path you want to take.

How’s your contentment quota? What helps you be content?

Photo by Saxon on Flickr

The secret of leading well is to follow well. I’ve worked with many leaders over the years. The ones that left the biggest impact are those that also followed well. They also happen to be the the ones I most enjoyed working with.

In hindsight, I also see that the ones that left a wake of hurt and chaos are the ones that didn’t follow well.

Good leaders follow well. They seek input, they value advice from others. They seek counsel. A bad leader just plows ahead without seeking counsel or insight from others.

Good leaders trust. Just as good followers trust their leader, so a good leader trusts those around him or her. They trust their peers, they trust their followers.

Good leaders listen. Just as a good follower listens to her leader, so a good leader listens to their followers. They care about those that follow them. They want to hear their thoughts, their opinions.

Good leaders speak well of others. Just as a good follower speaks well of those around him, including their leaders – so a leader speaks well of his followers. A leader knows it’s not about them. It’s about adding vlaue to others.

A leader leads well because the leader has been where the followers are. They made a difference as a follower. They will also make a difference as a leader.

What other ways is a good leader also a good follower?

Photo by Alan Vernon on Flickr

It is a sad truth but many people go to their grave with their song unsung and their talents and passions undiscovered.   – Jeff Bullas

The first of the New Year is fast approaching. This time of  year, I often reflect on this year’s goals and ponder next year’s. Why? Because of what’s referred to in the quote above. I am passionate about singing my own song, and helping others discover theirs.

Although Bullas’ article isn’t just about discovering your song, he makes some very good points.

Find Work that Is Play

Work that is play is the combination of innate ability and aptitude that combines with passion to create a synergy that lubricates life’s journey.

I know a very successful businessman who says he plays everyday. He’s singing his song.

I know a professional hair stylist who wouldn’t trade what he does for anything else. He’s singing his song.

I know a couple who, during the day he runs a business and she takes care of the kids. In the evening, they run a non-profit that helps hundreds of kids learn to sing, dance, or play an instrument. They are singing their song.

I write this blog to sing my song.

Singing your song doesn’t mean it’s easy. It doesn’t mean that suddenly life is always filled with purpose and clarity. There are moments of doubts, moments of confusion, moments of ‘why am I doing this?’

But, in the end, it comes to down to singing our own song.

How To Find Your Song

Finding your song is a life-long journey. As you commit to singing your song, you’ll find that on the path of defining and refining your song, you are singing your song.

If you need help in discovering your song, Jeff Bullas includes a list of questions to ask:

• What comes easily to you?
• What do you read about till 2.30 in the morning
• What gets you up at 4.30am?
• What do you enjoy doing?
• What kind of things do people compliment you on?
• What activities give your spirit energy?

Singing your song doesn’t necessarily mean giving up your job, or moving somewhere else, or going back to school. It may mean one of those things, but I’ve found that usually it means finding how to sing a verse of my song in the midst of my current situation.

What’s your song? How do you find your song? How do you sing your song?

Unless I am a designated leader of that group. Then, I’ll be fine.

As introverts, sometimes we think too much about our ‘ineptness’ in group situations. We shine in other areas. That’s why this article, by Janet Callaway was such a booster for me. Her suggested steps in How to Bring Out the Best in People resonates with me.

When I am in a leadership role, I”m not thinking about what others think of me. Instead, I’m thinking about how to connect with those in the group. It’s all about them, not me. By thinking about them, I naturally lead them. Maybe that’s what I need to focus on when I am in group situations and not in the leadership role.

Here are my versions of the points Callaway mentions in her article.

Expect the best from people.

Leading others means taking them beyond where they are now. People will usually rise to what’s expected of them.

Study the other person’s needs.

Ask questions. Find out about them. Where do you live? What do you like to do? What’s your favorite movie? etc. It gives them value.

Recognize and applaud achievement.

Be specific. Instead of saying ‘You are doing great’, say ‘You are doing great because you don’t give up but are always thinking of other options in how to continue to move forward’.

Place a premium on collaboration.

Value others. Value their thoughts, their ideas, their opinion. Much of this is done just by listening.

Take steps to keep your own motivation high.

Enthusiasm attracts others. Take care of yourself so your energy and enthusiasm stays high.

Leading others isn’t about us. It’s about them.

What is your natural way of leading others? What helps you be you in group situations?

Photo by Uggboy on Flickr

won·der [wuhn-der]: to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe -  from dictionary.com

When was the last time you experienced wonder? The last time you were filled with awe, with admiration?

Maybe  it was when you watched a sunset, or walked along the beach, or watched children play. Maybe it was when you went to a musical, or heard your grandpa’s childhood story for the first time.

We’re designed to experience wonder. Wonder frees us. Wonder helps us live fully. Wonder releases the need for control. Wonder lets us breathe deeply. Wonder helps us see more clearly.

Without wonder, our world becomes rigid, tight, controlled. Without wonder, there’s an answer for everything and an explanation for anything that happens. The lack of wonder makes our breath shallow and our world small.

Wonder elevates us, helps us rise above our circumstances, gives us a better and more accurate perspective.

Do you need to experience wonder? We experience wonder by seeing, listening, pondering. Consider seeing, listening, or pondering these ‘wonderments’:

• a starry night
• a full moon
• the sunset
• a sunrise
• a talented musician
• the blooming of  a flower
• the growth of a seed
• the burst of flavor
• Miracle on 34th Street (movie)

How do you experience wonder? What would you add to the list?

Photo by xprogrammer on Flickr

“Purpose is to life what the skeleton is to the body. The muscle may have strength, but it needs support and attachment.” -Ravi Zacharias

Our pursuits need a supporting structure. Without a supporting structure, life drifts. Without purpose, affections and ‘emergencies’ and people-pleasing define our life. We move from one affection to another, from one emergency to another, from one people-pleasing activity to another – without an ultimate purpose.

Purpose provides the needed supporting structure. Instead of randomly moving from one thing to another, our activities and affections and pursuits attach to our purpose.

In Ravi’s quote above, he suggests we can muscle our way through life, but without support and attachment to a purpose, we drift through life.

We’ve all been there. I’ve been there. We find ourselves questioning what we do, doubting our motives,  wondering what’s it all about. I experience that at times even with a life purpose. But, it’s that life purpose that I go back to. When I take the time to evaluate, to ponder, to plumb line my pursuits against that life purpose, life stops drifting. Life becomes focused, meaningful, purposed.

It may mean I stop doing some of the things I’m doing. It may mean stop listening to lies that I hear coming at me from within. It may mean a conversation with a close friend to help discover if what I’m doing or pursuing is an alignment with my purpose.

It all comes back to purpose providing that supporting structure. If what I’m doing isn’t somehow attached to that purpose, then it needs to go.

How do you continue to live life with purpose?

“Art, to be art, must point at something.”   – Anne Lammot

Having a vision helps point our lives in the right direction. It helps us know what choices to make, what relationships to build, what activities to be a part of. With vision we have purpose.

Without vision, we don’t know where we’re headed. We don’t know which choice to choose, what relationships to pursue, or how best to spend our time. Without vision we easily lose our purpose.

Vision gives direction

Vision is a compass. It points us in the right direction. Instead of just wandering from one project to another, from one job to another, from one relationship to another, from one location to another, we move with purpose. We build on what we’ve already done. We make decisions that take us in the direction of our vision.

Vision provides expression

Having a vision results in us better expressing who we are. Our words, our actions, our demeanor point towards our vision.

Vision gives intent

Having a vision helps us live our days with intent. It’s more than just about getting up to go to work. It’s about getting up to carry out my purpose, to reach towards my vision.

Vision gives inspiration

If we ignore vision, we live short-sighted. If we live short-sighted, only what’s in front of us becomes important and we miss out on the bigger picture. Vision gives us the why behind the how. It lets us see the forest instead of just the tree. The moment we leave vision out of the equation, life becomes mundane.

Vision provides insight

There is a picture of a blind man praying to God. He’s still, leaning against a wall, his face lifted upwards, one hand holding his blind stick, the other lifted towards heaven. Others around him, all-seeing, are in a blur as they move quickly to their next activity, their next appt, their next commitment. Who really sees more? The blind man, or the busy folks around him? Vision gives us the internal sight we need to stay on course.

Vision provides alignment

Vision aligns our actions, our words, and our thoughts with our dreams and our hopes. If what I do today does not align with my dreams, I become frustrated. Living with vision isn’t easy. In fact, living with vision can be very messy. We need to give ourselves permission to struggle, to be frustrated. Often times it is in the frustration and the struggle that we better understand our vision. Then we can make the necessary re-alignments to either get back on track or to shift our vision to better align with who we are.

What is your vision? How has having a vision or not having a vision affected your life?