I just came off a 3-day vision retreat for an organization. The gathering was to support a vision for a healing center that has been incubating for about 5 years. It was also a personally transformative experience and one I was not really expecting to have-which are usually the most important and significant. Somewhat like being struck by a random bolt of lightening.

Without getting into the personal stuff, suffice it to say that speaking my truth remains and on-going growing edge. Learning it was "safe," to tell the truth even when I felt like I was going to die doing so has been a long, challenging and incredibly healing process. I remember the first time I did so like it was yesterday, although it is almost 30 years ago!

It still takes a lot for me to call forth that Kali energy, when I am in group environments and the odds might be stacked against me. It is the Kali energy that feels this need to cut through an illusion or something that feels false, no matter how it is perceived by others. I know she lives inside me now and is my archetype to the continued transformation of my self as a woman-and a woman unwilling to be manipulated or projected upon.

I took on a pretty big challenge during this weekend and risked not being "liked," or the nice "girl," who went along with some of the ideas being thrown into the circle, yet I knew I was invited to be there as a member for a reason.  I believe that reason, is my ability to intuit and search for the truth in the moment.

Old patterns die hard and my voice trembled as I spoke the words of my truth.  It was a terrifying and VERY EMPOWERING moment! It is wonderful how those dualities can live in the exact same space isn't it? This is where the moment of transformation lives. It is in that exact second when we lean into our fear, and take the risk anyway that let's us know we are capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound! Many of the women in the circle thanked me for speaking so honestly during the weekend, as did one of the men. This man was the real deal ladies. He's done his work, continues to do so and walks his talk! He has a very big wonderful heart! He is also so humble, which is a quality lacking in most of us and one I admire very much.

It was 3-days of personal growth and I was left a bit out of sorts. I knew there was still some stuff to process. I had lunch with a new friend who is a healer and powerful woman in her own right. She was on her way to do a Sun Dance and was brought into my life by a mutual friend. There are no accidents...this I know. With her, I released the last of the negative remnants from this event and embraced the powerful and positive ones, and now feel clear about my place in this circle. She helped me to find my way back to my center and congratulated me for speaking my truth and the truth that many women hold, but cannot yet speak. When leaving lunch with her I felt as if I reclaimed myself and who I know I am at my core. Honest, loving, truthful and pretty damn FEISTY!

Contribute: How have you leaned into your fear to speak your truth?

Now that he has had some time to settle in and had some healing of his own, Blue has started to take on the role of studio guardian and  healing spirit. His regal presence has been a comfort to the women visiting the studio. I knew as soon as I met him that he would follow in the steps of his sister Feats and take on this role.

I mentioned this to my vet and she said, "I worry about them in that role, like us they take on a lot of energy, but can't verbalize what is happening." I honestly had not thought about that, but it feels right on. I told her that I often clear the energy in my studio with a mist of Clary Sage and that I would start doing that to Blue at the end of each healing session. I often forget to do it for myself, so this was a beautiful reminder.

Part of the healing journey is to allow old, toxic or unwanted energy to move through us. Our guides hold the energy until we are ready to shed that particular skin, therefore keeping our studios and healings spaces clear is important. My friend One Paw gave me some sacred sage and a feather, when we met last year to facilitate a wedding ceremony. My vet's comment is a reminder to clearing techniques more often so my space, my heart and Blue are clear to be present for client creativity and healing.

It's been a whirlwind opening to the summer season. The book and revisions are complete. YEAH!!!! Our new pup Blue is hopefully on his way to healing after some scary stuff and I shot a dear friends private vow ceremony, which was a beautiful and sacred event. I created a mixed-media piece for them in their wedding journal and this digital piece for her as well.

Meredith and I have been getting the biz stuff organized. She is truly a dream come true and heaven sent. We are going to be putting together a survey so we can find out what fellow Feisty Females really want. Blogging? I am still unsure. Do people really want to read every detail of my life? Is anyone even reading this? (Kerri...thanks for posting!)

Mostly, I want to hear from all of you. What do you want to create together? We will be offering some prizes for your participation...so stay tuned. More info is forthcoming.

This week...
training the dog
hiring the team-big girl stuff...
editing the first layout of the Creative Awakenings!

decisions...decisions...BIG FEISTY decisions!