Living The Expectations

Flatmates

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:40:00 +0000

Hello, how are you guys? well, nothing much going on with me lately, been busy with work and just sleeping most of the time! haha. I saw these gay short film, at youtube and thought of sharing it with you...watch it.

I feel bad for bjorn,huhu...I thought hampos likes him because of what he usually do to him,that as if he's flirting!

Where Am I?!

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 21:44:00 +0000

I just got out from my service and waved goodbye to my colleague. I'm walking towards the lobby of my building where my flat is located on the 6th floor. I'm so tired due to so much workload on my duty. I wanna sleep and eat as soon as I reach home, I said to myself. I pressed the number 6 on the elevator and took my keys out of my bag pocket.

I closed my eyes while the lift goes up, then I heard it opened. My flat is located beside the elevator on the left. Like I always do on my everyday life here, I went out and inserted my keys to the keyhole on my door. But this time, its different!

My keys wont work! WTF?!

I tried the other one, maybe I put my room key instead of the main door key, but it still wont open!

I tried it again. Again. I'm starting to get annoyed! I inserted the other key once again with much pressure, maybe it just got stucked or something!

Finally, it opened! whew!

But i got the surprise of my life when I entered the flat, it looks different! in fact, very different!

I closed my eyes and opened it again, I was like in another dimension!

But it really looks like not my...

...flat...

My eyes was so wide in horror on the realization

Waaaaaa!Its not my flat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I checked the number on the door and it said: number 29!

Oh Lord! What have I done?!

I immediately closed the door and prayed that the owner wont catch me forcefully open their door!huhu. When I turned my back to go to the lift again, I saw one Filipino outside waiting at the elevator too. He saw what I did! Embarrassing!

Deadma nalang!hahaha. Potah, na sa 4th floor lang pala ako!

What was I thinking! I'm so stupid not checking the door number first! But why the door opened if its not my flat? Oh shit, maybe I broke their door! LOL whoever lives there I'm sorry haha!

No More,No More

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 14:41:00 +0000

There was little light coming from the bathroom and the room was still dark, we're both on the bed and still naked. He was hugging me. This is the third time he shared my bed. I tried to kiss him, but he avoided my lips this time. I'm puzzled by his action, a while ago he was kissing me, responded to my kisses.

Why?whats wrong? I asked him.

"I haven't wash my mouth yet...and your mustache is a little painful on my lips..." he said

But I know he's lying. There's something more to it. So I guess he don't want kissing me after the sex, but during the sex its alright? WTF is that!!! Maybe in his mind he allowed a guy like me kissing him because he was delirious and so horny that time that its alright? but now that he is in his right mind he cant be kissed?

So I guess that's my cue. I said "OK, you can go now" he rose from the bed and went at the shower. I didn't move on the bed. I was still on it with my nakedness and wait for him to finish.In my mind, I made a decision that its gonna be the last time. This is my wake up call that I have had my fun, I have had my initiation that I wanted (LOL!) I experienced being a bottom, I felt the pain and the pleasure accompanied in it. So he's done! Out of my life. I can go back to my old conservative self now LOL!

Of course I've been thinking a lot for the past days, I am weighing things up. I know Im the loser on this set up. He is married. He's playing straight. On denial about his sexuality or maybe he's really straight, I don't know. Bottom line, he cant be mine. I'm just a sex machine whenever he needs and feels like using.

Reality check: I'm starting to like him. Signs and symptoms: I'm beginning to demand some more stuffs. Beginning to feel its not enough. Wanting to see him more often. But I don't love him...yet. I need to do something about this. So I came with this decision to avoid him now. I cannot afford to have another heartache this time.

I cannot afford to be used by his sexual desires. Whenever he want. I'm better than that. I'm a person deserving to be loved and to love. I have a lot of love to give. Just waiting for that someone to come by. I know he's looking for me too. Its just a matter of time. And when our paths are crossed I know it will be at the right time and right place.

I know I'm a hopeless romantic, but what can I do? That's me. I don't give up on love, yet. I know and I still believe in it. I have my own story, a happy ending. My book isn't finish yet, I still halfway through it, I still need my ending. My happy ever after. But is there a happy ever after? Or just in fairy tale?

Now I'm serious haha wow I cant believe I poured out my heart on you guys!Just wow!

Four days have passed and I didn't see him, I didn't talk to him. I even avoided sending instant messages or text him. Its a complete avoidance on my part. I know I'm doing the right thing here. I prayed that God give me strength and to move on with my life. I had fun at work with my friends, kept myself busy (with farmville LOL).

A buzz and an instant message appeared on my screen when i woke up one night, its from dark guy.

"hmmm, someone seems to be very busy lately..."

"I haven't felt your presence lately too..."

"it seems you have other company in there instead of me huh"

I don't know what to think when I read them. Was he jealous? Was he missing me?

I replied: been busy lately, and I'm cooking now

"I was on the night shift and my sex life was down..." he said

"so, what are you cooking now? You really know how to cook?hehe" he added

I knew he's just playing friendly and eventually he'll just say he needs a f@ck! It made me annoyed.

I typed these words instead : you know what, stop the friendly conversation, why don't you just go to the point? I'm not in the mood to have sex now, I'm sorry, you could mast*rb*te instead.

He replied: You're just playing hard to get!

And signed out.

It made me smile.hehe.

Success.

I'm gonna focus on work. Have fun here. If a special someone comes, well, I'm willing to get to know him, who knows he will complete my story.

Bye for now.

"Do You Wanna Do it Again Tonight?"

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:00:00 +0000

Its been 5 days since "that" happened between us, and he never failed to send messages to my messenger or my phone inviting me or flirting with me to do it all again. Which I declined. Part of me wanting to say yes, but I gathered all my strength to say no. We never cross path since then maybe its pure luck, I guess.

But not on one morning...

I went out of the building to wait for my driver to arrive to bring me to work and so as other employees, I saw a few outside too. Until one figure appeared on my left side. Wearing his uniform in full glory.Its him. Dark guy. I don't know what to do. He was a few inches away from me. He was talking to the other guy. I knew he saw me. I just looked away from him and prayed for my service to come right away.

I was relax again when I reached the hospital. Prayed so hard my boss wont assign me to Darkguy's area where he is on duty that day! I was so relieved when he didn't. Until before lunch, one of my senior staff who was assigned to the area where I don't want to go said : Mac, please cover my area for a while I need to go to the personnel department. And I was like "Oh nooooooooooooo!!!!"

I run out of good luck, one nurse called and they need me there. I had no choice but to go. Bahala na si batman.

I spotted him immediately as soon as I entered the room, he was busy. The nurse who called me was next to him good thing there's wall between them. But the nurse need one thing, which I have to get to the door next to Darkguy's .Shit! shit! shit! I walked passing over him. I knew he noticed me. I still didn't looked at him. It feels so awkward!

When I was fixing the machine and I was talking to the nurse who called me, he then appeared. Talking to the nurse I was talking to. Shit! I wanna kill him. He was teasing me by appearing in front of me.He knew I'm avoiding him and that I'm not comfortable. I turned my back instead and pretended busy with the machine.

But goodness, he look so hot and sexy. I suddenly missed the kiss. The feeling of his body towards mine.

Past 2:00 pm I received a text from him " do you wanna do it again tonight?"

Damn!!!

I replied :"I will wait for you later" I don't know what was I thinking!

*****************************

6:00 pm: He texted what time should he come. I said maybe 9pm since I was watching star trek on TV. I wanna finish it. He then said "can we make it at 8:30?" I said OK. Then he asked if I have porn, I said yes but all are man to man hehe. He replied "that will be alright, its my first time to see that thing". In my mind, hmm not for long I can convert him to the other side, I know he is curious and I know deep inside him he wants this, he just wanna be normal and "straight".

"Can we meet at 7pm instead since we're going to watch videos its nice to be early....and besides I have duty early in the morning tomorrow."
Oh my! Its not obvious he was not excited at all!LOL

After a quick shower I was picking my clothes when he sent a message on my messenger saying if I'm ready for him to come. He was so in a hurry to see me! "haba ng hair ko!"

When I opened the door its like deja vu. He was holding red roses and smiling at me...kidding!!! hehe. He was just smiling and wearing a sexy tight fitting sleeveless shirt and that shorts was the killer! it was tight and short-short and his d*ck was so visible on it...bakat na bakat LOL he's really teasing me...and it worked. I was on fire!

Its like our first time, he sat on my bed and we talked for a while and I played the m2m porn on my laptop. We both lay on my bed while he watch, I stroked his lips and his neck and his chest. He put his arms on my shoulders. It felt like I was his. Like we're together, as in together-together!

He look different that moment. I can feel it. Extra caring, extra-sweet, extra-horny...LOL! I kissed him while i was on top. He was hugging me too tight as if he would lose me if he ain't. His fingers are caressing, running lightly on my sides, on my back, on my legs while i was still wearing my clothes on...

I kissed him hungrily, he would kissed me back too as if he's competing with my kisses and my tongue...he just soooo different now...we're like an animal...so intensed...so electrifying...I never been this excited! I don't wanna let go of his mouth as if we don't have tomorrow...

I took off his clothes and he took mine...

------------------------------------------

This is Laguardia of MTRCB and this part is censored!

LOL!!!

------------------------------------------

Anyway, after more than two hours (tagal nun a!) we were both naked and breathless. He was hugging me and giving me light touches and kisses. Hmmm, now he learned his lessons hehe. It was so powerful. I never experienced it before. I like this moment, everything was so good and romantic in the same way. This doesn't feel like just sex, but it was lovemaking.

The bed almost give up. I feel bad for it.haha

I turned on the light when he was picking up his clothes on the floor. He tried to hide and used the sofa to hid his nakedness.

Before me, was his dark colored skin and firm body...

"Oh, why are you shy?"

He was covering his manhood with his undies on his hands. He looked so cute...and childish.

I laughed.

I know I'm not doing the right thing here. I know you're judging me. But how can be something so bad feel so good????

*sigh*

I kissed him goodbye and left.

A Painful Start

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:50:00 +0000

This is a continuation of "The Lucky One..Or Not"

I run to the bathroom and took a quick shower! I only have 20 minutes till he comes. I'm so excited for what about to happen tonight...Its been a while since I did a one night stand like this. The last one was 8 or 9 years ago. After countless casual sex I said then that its enough, its time to get serious. A step which I didn't regret, I got to know and experience the beauty of having serious relationships which left some good and bittersweet memories that I will treasure for a long time.

My phone rang. Its him. Mr.dark guy. I sprayed perfume on my balls and run out to the door LOL! I opened it and asked him to come in, I don't know what to say at first. He was wearing a black sexy sando and shorts. He looked delicious. Ayayay!!!

When we reached my messy room, he sat on my bed and I was lost for words for a few minutes. I still cant believe we are about to do this. We talked about anything at first, casual conversations.

me: I wanna turn off the lights, is that alright with you? (but i opened the lights on the bathroom, so that it will give some shed of lights on the room)

When I came back he was already lying on my bed, waiting. I sat beside him and started stroking his forehead, his hair, his cheek. I lowered my head and put my lips on his. I tasted the sweetness of it. I want more. I tried to open his mouth by my own, but it remained close.

I said "why?whats wrong?"

darkguy: I'm not used to guy's kissing my lips...

me: open a little bit...

Which he did, literally! I kissed his neck, his earlobes...I felt that it tickled him...I tried to do more but he avoided my tongue. I kissed his nipples and his chest...

until I noticed something:

me: wait a second, so you'll gonna be like a statue there?!!!

darkguy: sorry...

He kissed my neck this time and my nipples but his mouth was still hesitant to kiss me full time. I cant blame him, its his first time doing this.

I know I'm doing all the work here, but I said to myself, OK, just now. Only now I will let this happen. Its my first time having sex with a straight (?) married guy. This is sooo against my rule which is to date only gay guys. But, as they say, there's always a first time to everything. But come to think of it, technically, I know he isn't straight although he is not admitting it, but i can feel it in my bones, he is gay,well, maybe around 40% hehe.

I mean he wanna do it with me, with the same guy, if he is so straight he could have chosen a woman instead. And that no matter how horny he was, he wont share my bed.

I did everything to his dark sexy body, he was moaning with pleasure. I went on top of him and rub my manhood to his. It was a great sensation. I was moaning too. His body was perfect for my body. I'm not used to the slapping though haha.I felt like a porn star!

darkguy: can I f@ck you?

me: I'm not sure I can do it...its my first time

darkguy: I will be gentle

I wanna laugh, I remembered that line before from somewhere! So gasgas na!haha But I don't know if he was hypnotizing me or what or in my mind I just like to experience it too, the questions that arises on my mind over and over again: why bottoms likes to be f@ck? was it really that good? does it feel better than topping which I always do?

me: you are so damn lucky that I will let you do me mister!

I was so nervous, I know it will be painful and he is a beginner too!Oh my Gosh! what does he know about doing this thing! he only knows the VA-J-J!!!!

I felt the coldness of the lube on my @$...his finger...I bit my lips...its a bit painful...then I felt much pain whats came in next. I wanna scream. I wanna push him back. I want to back out!LOL

He stopped. He knew I'm in great pain. He said I should relax. But his d*ck is so thick! for heaven's sake! We shifted positions. He was in front of me. He tried it again. Its still the same pain. I ignored the pain and tried to look and feel the pleasure that every bottom guy feels....but I cannot find it!!!

Where the hell is the pleasure????? hello any body there?LOL

But in fairness, maybe he didn't noticed but he was kissing me torridly, hungrily this time. I wanna smile. So my pain made him forget that he is not use to kissing guys huh!

After a couple of attempts, its still painful and he felt bad for me.

darkguy: I will stop now, I don't wanna hurt you anymore...

Wow, nakaramdam din!LOL but honestly I appreciated that. In my mind I need practice so I said I'm gonna buy a couple of banana and shove it to my ass tomorrow LOLLLLLLLLLL!!!

I again went on top of him and applied a huge amount of lube and rubbed my d*ck to his, this is my favorite position, did I tell you guys that?haha I called it "kiskisan".When he was about to shoot he asked me to do the hand job instead.

He finished. He was breathless. I'm dead tired too. Actually I didn't have much erection due to pain. I didn't come. He didn't bother to make me come. In my mind, Savour the moment darkguy, this is your first and last.

me: hey, didn't you know, after the sex you have to hug and kiss your mate?

He laughed and hugged me tighter and longer. We were talking and laughing for a while on that position. He asked me if I have a boyfriend, I said none. He added if I have one back in manila, I said before but not now. He wanna see them, I allowed him to see picture of my ex's. I can sensed that he was curious about my life about my gay life or maybe I'm mistaken. I don't know.

When we cleaned up I walked him to the door and said our goodbyes. I was surprised seeing a message from him after an hour saying "what now?" I don't know what he meant. He didn't elaborate. He was asking, if I was satisfied, I said no. And he was explaining like if I allowed him to do these and that I will have fun eventually, as if he was guilty and wanted to make up for it.

darkguy:so you don't like me? you don't want to do it again?

me: I will think about it. Honestly I didn't enjoy it. You don't know how to do it well.

darkguy: okay if you don't wanna do it again, its alright...

And besides, I don't wanna be a home wrecker if you know what I mean, once is enough, at least natikman ko ang crush ko hehe.

When I went to bed, his smell was still on my pillows and linen...

The Lucky One... Or Not?

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 21:10:00 +0000

An instant message hit my screen asking how am I doing and if I don't have work. I said none, and the usual stuffs. He is not a constant chat mate of mine. But we have a common online friend. That friend sent to him my YM I.D and added me. So now he is on my list. I see him at work. And I have to admit he is a hottie. Dark and sexy. I love those eyes...

So I was surprised that he is on a chatting mood now, unlike from our previous chat that only lasted for a few exchanges of messages. Let me give him a nickname: darkguy. Jonget a! pero hayaan na!la na ako sa mood mag isip.As the chatting continues he asked:

darkguy: what is your interest?

me: I'm an Internet addict and I love to eat and watch movies.

darkguy: it doesn't show on your body that you love to eat. you go out most of the time?

me: not really.I just love to eat out with my friends.

darkguy: who's with you?

Hmmmm, I'm a little curious why there's a sudden interest from him on what I do. Its not like him. I found it strange but I'm a little excited! What is he up to!

me: friends. sometimes my date. (he didn't know I'm dating an Italian guy recently since he is not a reader of my blog nor a close friend)

darkguy: who are you dating? (kiliggg ako!LOL)

me: secret!what about you, what's your interest?

darkguy: anything....sex!hahaha

me: whaaaat! well, you look like a womanizer to me!
be careful that your wife wont catch you OK!ha ha

darkguy: it depends

me: really?

darkguy: yeah, many. but I refused. many would like to share my bed, both men and women hehe.But honestly most of them are gays.

He told me that a married gay guy even asked him to show his body on cam and he showed a little. Just a tease.

darkguy: asked me to show him my dick. I showed it to him just for a sec.

me: me too!me too! (I joked around)

darkguy: me too? you wanna see it too on cam? why just on cam ,when you can go here at my room and see it live now....

Oh! Oh! now he is really up to something! he is flirting with me!Oh my gosh!!!

darkguy: I'm open to anything as long as you're discreet.

darkguy: yeah, I can give you anything especially if I'm horny...now that my wife is not here...

I knew it! he is bisexual!!!But I don't know what to say to him!I can sense it that he will be topping me. I'm not ready to be a bottom guy on bed!yet!

darkguy: that's why, if you like doing it, I will be a willing guy...

me: so, you gonna do it all the way?everything?

darkguy: yeah, whatever my partner wants me to do...I will satisfy him like I do it on my wife...

I'm a little doubtful, I mean he is straight, although I can feel it that he is bisexual, what if he will be like a king in bed, meaning: the typical straight guy who would just sit and let the gay guy do all the work!I don't want that.

darkguy: This would be my first time doing it with a guy, if you like it, i wanna try it...

So I'm the guinea pig huh...I said to myself. But dear lord I'm shivering in front of my computer! Am I dreaming? The guy I'm lusting is talking to me about having sex with him!!!I asked myself: will I let him do me? I'm a virgin for Pete's sake! (well, my ass is!LOL)

me: Did you ever have sex with anyone here?

darkguy: nope. just all with my left hand! they're asking me, but i refused. I don't know them and they are far from here. So if ever you agree. You will be the first one...

So I'm the lucky one huh!hehe. Shit! I have a hard time deciding! But will I let this opportunity to pass?

me: can I see you on web cam?

darkguy: hmmm, OK wait.

He showed the "package" to me! Now, I don't wanna think anymore, I want him.Tonight!LOL

darkguy: so, you wanna try me? I will go to your flat. You can do anything on my body.

me: okay..

Shit! Shit! Shit!

darkguy: wait for me. I will take a quick shower...

---to be continued

Salami?

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 18:04:00 +0000

I don't mean to offend anyone on this post.But what can I do, this is a true story!LOL

Working in a different country is hard for me at first, since its my first time working outside our beloved Philippines LOL! Anyway, handling the machines/ventilators are one of them, i studied them and manipulated them until I get familiar with the knobs and controls, next is, I always get lost!haha damn,its a big hospital with lots of hallways and turns and everything!!!

And the biggest challenge for me: the Indians!

Why?

Because I cannot understand them quickly when they speak to me. They have a strange way of speaking in English, they eat the words and they have a unique sound. Its a big issue since most of them are nurses and I have to communicate with them almost all the time!And there are more Indians here than Filipinos!

One time I was inside the isolation room, the Indian nurse came to the door and asked me:

nurse: Why is salami?

Me:huh? (clueless...in my mind:WTF is she talking about!)

nurse: salami!

Me:I don't know what you mean with salami?( is that the food?LOL i thought.) sister,please say it s-l-o-w-l-y...

nurse: why-is-it---a-l-a-r-m-i-n-g....????

Oh my gosh!hahaha I almost laugh so hard after I realized what she meant!

I have to ask them to repeat what they are trying to say 3 times before i could understand. That's why i have to focus my eyes on their lips when i talk to them so that i could read their mouth.

For my third month here, I guess I'm improving, I can get what they mean for asking them to repeat for only 2 times now!LOL

Blessed andThankful

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 22:29:00 +0000

Finally after two months of working here in the desert, I got my first salary for two months!yahooooo!!!first payments, first money, it felt so good when it came out of the atm machine, a fruit of my labor and hard work(?)!

Since I'm very rich!LOL! I rushed to the mall and bought 6 t-shirts, a pair of pants and shorts, a perfume (Burberry Brit) and these two lovely shoes from Nike and Lacoste!its shopping to the maxxxxx!!!!my sister will kill me once she knew about the total amount I spent!!!(plus my N97 phone!) good thing the mall is closing and if they didn't, i might spend half of my money from clothes!maybe its God's way of saying...ENOUGH!

nike - free everyday 2

Lacoste- tourelle BP

The next day I bought a microwave and a rice cooker. Since I badly need those. I treated my friends at Ponderosa as I promised them before, where in there is a buffet and the best thing about the restaurant, its eat all you can!I wasn't able to breath when we finally decided to go home hahaha.

It's just frustrating that some brands are not available here like in Manila, only UK brands can be found here. Honestly I dont know some of them hahaha! Jologs kasi!

Im thankful for all of these. My work is good, my boss and co-employee are nice and approachable, I have a good housemate, I have many new friends and I can buy things that I like now, I am blessed. I must say. I promised my self this is the last time I will be spending this much. Next month I will start saving up money and avoid going to the mall.

P.S
Mr.Italian is asking for a dinner, ofcourse, my treat this time since he knew I got my first paycheck.I will hide!LOL

Another Goodbye

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 22:14:00 +0000

For all those times you were with me
For all the good laughs and fun moments
For all the foods especially the pizzas!hehe
For the times you brought me to the supermarket

For all the great pleasures!LOL!!!
For all the great chats we had
For making my boring days a little exciting
For all of this,Thank you.

As we come to the part where we realized
That its not working out...
That its not possible for us...
That everything will be better if we remain...
Just friends.

I remembered the song with lyrics like:
"When i tell you goodbye,it doesn't mean forever..."
Ewwwwwww,so cheesy!

I will surely miss you
I will surely be sad...and depressed
Well, for an hour maybe!LOL
Take care Mr.Italian Guy.

Anyway!To raise my spirit high
I bought a new phone! The Nokia N97
Now, I'm so much into it! my new toy!hehe
kinakarir ko talaga ang manual!

The Sleep Over

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:09:00 +0000

this is the actual beach where we went

I heard the familiar sound of our doorbell, but unlike before, I didn't rush out to open it, I knew who it was...I took my time and I opened the door and there he was again standing on my front door for the 6th time?was it 7?10?crap I lost count!haha.

"pizza delivery sir!" he was wearing his cutest smile while holding the box of pizza he promised me to make.

"wow you really made me a pizza!!!" I'm so excited, finally i will be able to taste the works of this crazy guy that I adore.Its was so good I ate 8 slices and kept the other two for my friends to try it the next day hehe. (mang iinggit lang ako na iginawa ako ni Eros ng pizza hehe)

He took me for a ride and we went to the night market because I told him I needed to buy the longganisa haha, I don't know what has gotten into me that I'm craving for that Pinoy food for the past week! I know what you all thinkin', I'm not pregnant morons!

But to no avail, I cant find it. And for the 8th or nth time travelling together in the street of Doha, he said the famous words "OK, we are officially lost" haha and I will reply it with "what else is new?!just drive and we will find the right way soon,hopefully. LOL" and we will just both laugh about it.

Its my day off that day and its our plan that I will be spending it at his place. Its 1:00 in the morning, he parked at his spot and he guided me to his condo, its my second time here. I checked my pocket to see if I brought my pepper spray in case he do something. Kidding!!! of course I will be a willing victim LOL!!!

He offered me vodka but I refused, I don't want to drink "gasoline" I told him. I went to his bed and lie there and wait for him to join me. Oh wag muna kayo mag isip ng advance di pa kami magsesex!LOL.

We talked and have some nice laughs through the night, we watched some stuffs over the net.Its 4am when we finally decided to go to sleep. Its cold in the room and I was already inside the comforter hugging the big pillow on my side."so you going to hug that freaking pillow over me?" he said teasing.

"i cant sleep without hugging a pillow"

"you can hug me." he said protesting

"no, you're too big to hug!" I continued teasing

He hugged me from the back while I was hugging the pillow at my front! that looks like a threesome to me!

He started kissing me from my nape and towards the side of my lips and I willingly respond, his hands are traveling everywhere, on my arms, on my chest, on my belly and finally down to the land down under and to my tree of life LOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

I cannot control the urge to moan and I faced him and this time I responded to his every kiss and every touch. He undressed me and...

--OK, THIS PART IS CENSORED !--

(he will kill me if he find out that I'm sharing every details of it.)

Anyway moving along, haha. The next morning we went to the beach and we stroll and have some pictures together. It was a lovely day and we came back at the city past 4 in the afternoon, he bought some food at the groceries and I cooked rice and we shared a simple and heavy dinner hehe. Did I mentioned that he is too lazy to cook at home?!I mean WTF!

He slept on my side while I was watching "trueblood" on my laptop, I let him take that time to rest I know he is tired and not having enough sleep this past few weeks. I was struggling to understand what I'm watching because the crazy bastard was snoring like a dinosaur!LOL

I woke him up at ten and drove me back home. I have work the next morning.

Ciao!
(see i learned one Italian word already!)

Desert Gay Stories

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 10:51:00 +0000

It's my second month in this foreign country, a land of dessert and too much heat, a country served by different nationalities, more of Indians then Filipinos and other neighboring countries. I must say this state is not a tourism destinations, its more of a work-force country, people are here to work. I said that because there's not much to go here, I mean its just malls!LOL

There are no amusement parks, not much of a night life, unlike Dubai I guess, they said, but you can really save money here unlike in Dubai where its like Manila that you have lots of stuff available for a lonely Pinoy.Good thing I'm a home buddy haha!and besides I have Mr.Italian to keep me company.He is my constant companion and my driver!LOL

I am able to gain new friends, which is the great part of being here.I can honestly say I'm enjoying my life here.I am having fun. Work is a thing that I need to get use to but I'm relaxed and confident that in time I will learn everything.

Being here for two months now, I heard many stories and rumors about gay Filipinos and couples being deported back in the Philippines. As we all know, homosexuality are forbidden and considered a sin here. Let me tell you their stories:

The Policeman

Filipino gay was in a relationship with this Arab police and only few Filipino knew about it, when the gay Filipino caught Mr.policeman cheating on him, he immediately broke up with him, but policeman don't want to lose the gay pinoy, he want to win him back, but after many failed attempts, since he cant have him back the policeman have the gay pinoy arrested and within 24 hours he was deported back home.

The Mall Gays

There are two discreet Filipino gay inside the mall and they decided to go inside this shop and noticed great female dresses on the display and maybe they forgot that they are in the Muslim country that they started goofing around and started putting the dress on top of their clothes, but not really trying the dress on OK, as if telling his friend that it looks good on him. An Arab saw them and reported them to the management and have them deported.

The Blackmailer

A Filipino gay adored the middle Eastern guys (like me!LOL) and when someone approached him he immediately grabbed the chance! He dated him and had him as his fling, but when the gay pinoy started losing interest and don't want to see the Arab guy anymore, the Arab started blackmailing the pinoy of homosexual activity and threatened him to be reported if he still avoid him. So the pinoy had no choice but to still see him until he finished his contract and went home.

The Gay Party

One night many pinoy gays have an all out party when everybody was wearing drag clothes!complete with make ups and high heels. But its a private party after all, its all Filipino. They took videos and pictures on their cellphone as remembrance. Unfortunately one member of that group was caught by authorities after a few months with a complaint or a crime he committed that was not made clear to me by my story teller hehe. So this gay was arrested and the authorities comfiscated his cellphone and there...they found the videos of the group's party!All in the videos are deported as well...

The Happy Gay Couple

This one is different from the other stories, this is somehow good, and I feel envy with the Filipino gay hehe. Why?because he and his Arab boyfriend are going on their 15th years together! oh wow!!! It was said that they met when the pinoy was still working at Saudi and when he finished his contract and decided to work here in Qatar, the Arab came with him and moved here too! and he is using a great car given by his rich Arab lover!and the pinoy is living inside a big house and all expenses are provided by his foreign lover!take that!

-end-

Hmm, me and Eros (lets call my Mr.Italian by that name) I don't know whats our future, one thing we need to do now, is to be careful, and they said as long as its inside your walls nobody cares what you're doing and you will be safe. We go out,we hang out, spend some good time together. And he said he will cook for me. I hope that day will come!

Greetings to my friends namely: Paolo from the Philippines and bleeding angel from Dubai.Ciao!!!

Who Am I To You?

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:46:00 +0000

We chat, we talk, we have dates, we go watch movies, things like lovers do...and oh, we love to kiss each other, except that we're not lovers, yet...confusing?haha. Well,guess what!me too!LOL

But I'm happy. I enjoy every minute of being with his company.

I don't wanna ask him,and he never ask me too. My friend told me to let it be,that i just go with the flow when I told her about it. So days have gone by that Idon't know what kind of relationship we have. Are we kissing-friends?or friends with benefits?or that I'm just a "fling"?

But out of nowhere,when we're chatting it slipped my finger and typed these words:who am I to you? and he said: its complicated. I was hurt.yeah I know,i shouldn't asked it.But I'm so stubborn. I don't like his answer,I could appreciate it if he said:yes we are friends or I wanna know you better.

By saying its complicated,its like telling me he got someone else back home,or he cant be in a relationship or something, or its a escape-pass from me!

So I stopped talking to him. When he went online I ignored him the first time, and he was waiting for my messages too. He broke 20 minutes of silence and said "whoa, you really are mad at me? he told me that he was just joking and that he's sorry that he hurt me with what he said." you know me, I'm crazy!I always joke around"

Mr.Italian answered the question: who am i to you?

"You are my new friend. And we will see what will happen. We just start a new relationship. I don't think we are boyfriends yet. But we are going to that direction...to become one...seems like one..."

Hmmm, not bad! I thought to myself.

"and besides you're the one who started kissing me!" he accused me

"OK i wont kiss you again!" I snapped

"why?(with a sad smiley)" he asked " if you don't, I will kill you LOL!" I smiled at his reply.I'm back to being fine again LOL!Everything is back to normal.

Yesterday, Iasked him if he want to come with me to the supermarket at the mall today. I'm not even sure if he will agree, since he have work,but he did. He picked me up at my flat and took me to the supermarket. I was holding his hand inside the car while he drive. If I let it go he will pick up my hand and hold it back...he drove with one hand.hehe

I was smiling and amused when I looked at him when we were inside the supermarket, he was pushing the cart while I pick the stuffs I need for a week's supply of food. I can't believe that this respectable guy while wearing his uniform, so tall, and so cute are here with me taking a break from work and pushing the grocery cart!hahaha

It just took us an hour to complete what I needed and he drove me home. He stayed at my room for another hour and I took the chance to "rape" him! Kidding! Well, he is a willing victim by the way!haha. He needed to come back to work since he only took a break to accompany me at the supermarket.

He said he will try to drop by before going home later.I said "OK,i guess I'm still awake during that time"

"Of course you will be awake, because you need to wait for me till I finish work" he said grinning.

Right now, I'm contented for what we have. I don't know when or where, but i am surely going to treasure every minute I spend with this Italian Guy.

My Sweet Visitor

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 17:07:00 +0000

I run to the door as soon as I heard the doorbell. Its him. My Italian guy. He was wearing a dark jeans paired with his plain white shirt. He looked so fresh and “yummy”? where the hell did that thought came from? LOL

30 minutes earlier I was chatting with him at YM and he said “ I am coming to your house and you cook!”.waaaaaaaaaaa!!!! It was a mixture of excitement and worry at the same time! Of course I wanna see him after last week ‘s date, but our flat is such a mess! We haven’t clean a thing since we arrived here last July 1!LOL

I dont know how I was able to clean the house in just 10 minutes!haha I'm the flash!

“I don’t wanna go to work later” he added

“you really are coming to my house now?” I wanna be sure

“Do you want me to?” –italian guy

“well, its alright with me, since I am bored right now…” I answered

“just for that?!because you are bored?” he said

“hahaha! Why, what do you want me to say, that I missed you?!” I said suddenly

“yes…”

“why should I missed you, you didn’t missed me at all” now Im like a demanding girlfriend!LOL

“How do you know that I didn’t missed you?” he asked

“well, you don’t find time for me lately” waaaaa I cant believe Im saying these things!

“all the time,as soon as I have a second,Im always looking forward chatting with you, but you were always offline…and you know I always have problems with connections” he’s explaining!wow!haha

When I saw him standing outside my door, he don’t know how happy I was that moment.I’ve been waiting the whole week seeing him again, we chat online after we dated last week but seeing him again now is another thing.”so what’s for dinner?” he asked me with his cute smile, and I said nothing yet and that he should wait while I cook.He had to leave for an hour because he was needed at work and told me he will come back.

It’s a good thing because I still have more time to cook. I decided to make chicken afritada, it’s my first time doing the dish and I asked my sister online about it. Thank goodness and I made it right!Im beginning to love cooking huh!

As soon as he came back I prepared the table and we had the most simple and yet meaningful dinner together.It felt like he is my boyfriend while we’re having that moment except that he is not my boyfriend in real life!LOL

We sat on the sofa in front of the tv after dinner,I ate so much, wow my cooking is so good!LOL ( ako lang halos lumamon!)my housemate was inside the room the whole time maybe he’s asleep already.We just talked and had some good laughs together.

I feel bad for him, he looked so tired, and sleepless. He was denying it but its obvious.I told him to lay down and close his eyes.So he did. His head was on my lap under a pillow and he straightened up on the sofa. I was touching his hair slowly combing it with my hand and trying to relieve his tiredness, I hope it helped!haha.

I don’t know what spirit came to me and possessed my body and I slowly brought my lips down to his own lips…I kissed him!

And he kissed me back!tenderly!

Oh my lord…Its so sweet…he still kept his eyes closed. I wanted more, so I kissed him again, this time much longer. Im becoming delirious that moment… it was sweet and daring, the kiss was so good it felt like im kissing an angel…

And the kiss went deeper and deeper...and we wanted more...

Until my housemate came out and caught us!Ok…im just kidding LOL!

We have that moment for us alone, no interruptions and no commercial break…haha.i stopped kissing him when I run out of breath…and his eyes are still close…I watched his lovely face for a minute and maybe he got impatient for another kiss and he opened his left eye thinking I wont see him opened it haha!he looked so cute while doing that!like a small kid!

And we both laughed!He stayed for another two hours at my house and we just kissed and cuddled the whole time.until I said…im sleepy and he left after giving me one more sweet goodnight kiss.

Mr.Italian III

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:12:00 +0000

the souq

The next day,it was Saturday,around 2pm I just woke up, my day off, I opened my facebook and there he was online, I asked him how was he?and he said he just stayed home and ate cookies because he haven't eat anything since last night.I felt guilty.I told him to go out and dine in somewhere,but he said maybe he would go...alone.

"OK,I will go with you." I don't know where that came from!haha

"Really?You will come with me?we will go to the souk(market) and eat somewhere.What time should I pick you up?" --Italian

"Do you know how to get here at my place?"

"No.But I will check the map!LOL"

I told him how to get to my location, I'm a little worried because he said last night he always get lost on the road since he only got here for about ten days only haha. He even told me he was going round and round the roads for about one and a half hour trying to figure out which way to go to his condominium building!

He called me on my cell and i swear he has the most cutest voice i ever heard!LOL (OK that's exagg!)

"OK,If ever I get lost again i will call you haha see you in an hour" --italian

I prepared for our date!date?!Is this a date?haha No, this is just a friendly date.I guess.

Its 3:30 pm I walked through to where he should pick me up,i told him to stop by a bakery near our street because he might have difficulty finding my building so i sacrificed a little bit and walked in the 45 degrees heat of the sun!aghh!

I stand near the bakery and look for an Italian guy, I'm a little nervous and excited at the same time.One minute, two minutes and exactly three minutes later I heard a "beep-beep" from a blue car and a nice smile from its driver and waving his hand on me...

Oh my...its him...i told myself.

I walked slowly into his car and opened the door and sat beside him, he was wearing his cutest smile and said "hi" to me.I shake his hands and said "did you got lost finding this place?" and he said no,he thought i might be at the corner of the road that's why he went there when i wasn't at the bakery at 3:30pm, yeah yeah I'm late for about ten minutes hahaha!

"So where are we going?"I asked him

'To the souk"

"Do you know how to get there?" me

"Maybe, we'll find it.I guess!" --I just laughed at his not so worried voice. he has this personality in him, that everything will be alright and his laughing and smiling is so contagious.I don't even feel nervous with his company.I felt that I've known him a long time ago,because he's so nice and friendly!And cuteeeee!!!!

We went at the souk,its my first time there, many Indians are selling anything, clothes, watches, scarf, figurines, Arabian arts, Lebanese products ,jewelries, perfumes, and many other great stuffs. We strolled through some restaurants and hang out place too, he said he's looking for a place where we could chill and have something to eat.

He's asking me what to eat I said just anything that is not so heavy since I'm still full. he chose this cafe' and i ordered a piece of cake and a shake, while he had coffee. We talked, he was laughing at my jokes and we basically talked about anything. I love his company,I'm sure he will be a great friend to me.

He said he is a shy guy, he wont go to a bar and pick up on someone he met there. We talked about anything,had an ex back home, Well, I don't know if they are still together or what,but I'm not expecting anything at this moment but just having a new friend.

He asked some personal stuffs about my life,like boyfriends, family, friends and about my work.
"when is your day off usually" he asked, I said ''every Fridays and Saturdays"

"I have my offs every Saturday" he said after.

"how long you plan on staying here in this country?"--me

"I don't know,if i enjoy my life here I might stay for long.How about you "You think you can stay longer?" --italian

"Yeah i think so,I'm beginning to enjoy my stay here,I got new friends and a good job"

When I told him I wanted to move to Canada in the future and have my partner there and have a kid of our own he was laughing and told me I'm crazy!haha.

"Canada is so freakin' cold!" he added

"Have you been to the manila?" I said

"No,not yet, but now I think i might visit it..."he answered with a mysterious smile

"so where do you wanna go next?" he asked me after some time after he payed the bill.

"I don't know, you are the boss" I told him while laughing

"No,no, you are the boss,tell me where do you wanna go" he said

"OK i wanna see the water near the road..."--me. Its a place like Roxas boulevard in manila. Its a great place i only saw it when we pass by it going home from the mall.

He took me there and we just walked while talking.Other Filipinos are looking at us.Wondering or thinking " oh yun oh pumatol sa foreigner" LOL. he is so tall,he stands 6'2 against my 5'6 height!haha I'm only up to his chin when we're closer.

Its already dark and he said he will take me to the place where he works.

We cant come inside and give me a tour there since its a formal place haha and I'm wearing my old crappy jeans! We decided to have dinner somewhere and as we hit the road he realized we were lost! we just go with the flow and laughed at our ignorance on the roads and places here! We are two foreign gay guys who are not familiar with this country!take that!LOL

"Do you have any idea where are we right now"--I asked

"I don't have a single clue!" and we both laughed so hard!

After 30 minutes we found the right way where we supposed to eat, he took me to this Moroccan restaurant, the place is a little dark with only red light and lamps on tables, the music is a traditional Moroccan, i kinda thought its a romantic date after all!LOL or I'm just assuming, no, its just a friendly date!

We sat there and I let him ordered i don't know a thing about their menu!haha.He said its his first time there too.So we just made a wild guess which one to order and hoping it will be good.The cute waiter brought us a camel and a lamb dish.With bread that has a very spicy spread!Yuck!haha

We're just laughing at the food we ate,we don't like it,too much spices and sweets!We both swear we wont eat there again!

After that, I asked him to take me home because i need to prepare my stuff for my duty early in the morning even if i still don't want the night with him to end. He said he don't have anything to do at home I know if he has a choice he still wanted us to go somewhere and have a good night out.

We still had a hard time finding the right way towards my building, and a good thing because we had a little more time to talk. He asked me if I have no boyfriend left in the Philippines and I told him no more,but i like this someone I met at the bus haha."so are you two still chatting till now?" he asked,I don't know if its just my imagination or so that I sensed a little worry or jealousy from that question.

When we finally find the right building he stop at the side and wait for me to get out. i felt awkward a little bit,its goodbye time. What should i do?should i invite him to come for a while?what if he agreed to come upstairs?will i be in trouble that he might think its a sexual invitation?or should I kiss or hug him goodbye?

"So,goodbye for now,do you want to come up for a while?" I asked and damn!why my mouth said that!i don't wanna say that!LOL I don't want him to come up i still have a lot of things to do like ironing my clothes and cook my food for my breakfast at my duty the next day and I told that to him earlier(You see i cook my food at night because I'm too lazy to get up from bed too early haha)

"Should I park here?Is that alright?" he said smiling.And in my mind "oh no I'm in trouble!he wants to come up!" but he added in the end "oh, I know you still have a lot of things to do now,so maybe next time will be good"he added.*sigh* thank you Lord!haha

"yeah,so, goodnight..." i did the move to shake his hand instead of kissing him goodnight LOL good thing i had great control that time.

So that's it.I had great time with him, he is a great guy. The next morning he left me an offline message saying he had a great time and hope I had too and that he would see me next time.Lets see whats next!Ciao!

Mr.Italian II

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:38:00 +0000

We had a great chat that night.I want to share you this guys.If he found out I made an entry about this, Im sure he'll be embarrased haha.

“actually Im hesitant to go out with a stranger…”-- me

“oh what, ah ok, now Im a stranger…” --italian guy

“and besides u only known me just now,what if Im a thief or I might rob you,and you want me inside your car?LOL” --me

“uhhhh,I like it! Haha. ” --Italian guy

I told him that arabs bring Filipinos in the desert to rape them.

“Really?where?I wanna go!Is it free or I need to pay?LOL” --Italian guy. I was laughing when he said that! And I said you wanna be raped?he said “always” and I laughed harder!

“just kidding.Lets go somewhere tomorrow…”

“where?” I said

“desert,or the beach!I love the beach,or see other cities”

“waaa I don’t want to go so far with a stranger!Im afraid!” --me

“ok lets go out now so we can meet, and tomorrow we can go somewhere, so that I won’t be a stranger anymore to you…”

“you see, I heard so many stories about foreign guys,that’s why im reluctant now”

“Ok fine,tomorrow we’ll go to the mall with many people and we’ll see the fake sky intead! and we’ll freeze to death”

“Im sorry if im like this, trust issues haha”-- me,but im starting to like this guy he seems nice.”or maybe I’ll find you someone to go with you next time or introduce you to someone..” I added.

“No!forget it. Why you want to do that?” --Italian guy

“ because im such a killjoy,I feel guilty and I want you to have company” --me again

“No don’t worry, be happy ,I don’t want to push you to do anything.” --Him

I said Im eating muffin and if he wants some haha.

“Because of you I didn’t eat dinner, usually I eat at work and nothing on my fridge, I left work early I was in a hurry ready to meet you ,trying to get home at a decent time for you” now he’s making me feel really really guilty with that haha

He told me that he never likes cooking at home,I found that hard to believe that he's too lazy to cook his own food haha. He hates driving too. We talked about basically anything and im glad that I diverted the topic away from our meeting that night haha.I think this guy is cool, and he is jolly and nice. Its really late and I have work in the morning so I said goodbye.

“ok,have a good night”

“you too, wait you never give me your name yet” I asked

“Im ____”

--to be continued

Mr.Italian

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:44:00 +0000

I opened my mail on the night of August 1,2009 and this is what I read:

Hi I am new here and I found your website.
Hope you can help me find some friends and places to go out and meet gay guys

My reply:

Are you a Filipino too?

His second email August 3,2009:

Sorry for the delay, I still have some Internet connection problems.
No I am not Filipino, I am Italian.
Ciao Bellisimo

Me:

oh hello!how u doing?is gay scene in Italy not that open?u having a problem getting a date there?

--because stupid me,I thought he is still in Italy haha!

He replied again August 4,2009:

I've been living in the____ for many years and absolutely no problem to get dates there.
The problem seems here. As I told you I just got here and I have no clue about anything. I tried to surf Internet but a lot of web sites are inaccessible. Where gay people go? There is any place where they meet? Or is completely no no. Please let me know. I will be off this Saturday maybe we can meet somewhere if you want. Un bacio e grazie

I copied his email address and added him to my messenger, after an hour he accepted and the chat begun...

I found him interesting to chat with, I never noticed the time spent talking to this foreign guy.I had fun, I was smiling and giggling most of the time....especially when he told me he got lost every time he drives his car to go home from work since he isn't familiar with the roads yet.

"How you doing?" I asked

"I'm doing good,but lonely" he said

We asked for each other's picture and...he is so cute haha! (flirty me!LOL)

"Let's go somewhere tonight! have a drink on one of the hotels, if I don't get lost haha" he said out of nowhere. I don't know what to say to him after that, because the invitation was so sudden, caught me off guard!haha.

"Hello, are you still there?" he said after a few sec " so are we going out tonight?I haven't been out since I came here".

I made an alibi and said I'm too lazy to go out and besides I'm too afraid to go out with someone I just met online!haha i have heard many stories about foreigners doing bad thing to Pinoys or Pinoys being rape!LOL

"Or we could go to the souk (market) to have a drink like refreshments somewhere.So we are going out or not?or you want to come to my place?or you want me to come to your place?"

I almost fell off my chair!haha he is so fast!Now I'm thinking he wanted sex! I told him I can't, and chat is so much better at this moment. But he insisted on going out and that he has no one to go with...he made me feel guilty that he hasn't taken his dinner yet thinking we will go out.

"or how about tomorrow?I want to go to the beach!I want to see the desert"he said. And I almost became hysterical when i heard the word desert haha that's where they rape those Filipino guys!LOL

"What are we going to do tomorrow?are we going out for lunch?tell me what time should I pick you up"

---to be continued!haha

I'm A Year Old Blogger!

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 09:43:00 +0000

After 256 posts, some are worth reading and some are nonsense
After many nights of non stop blogging
After countless blog hopping
After many attempt to get noticed LOL

After some thoughts of closing it down
When I'm frustrated that no one reads my entries
That I begged my friends to fuckin' read it
And threaten to kill them if they didn't LOL

I still remember when I started that no one pays attention to what I write, when ever i look at my site meters there's only zero or one person reading for the whole week and just stayed for less than a minute hahaha! Imagine that.
Embarrassing!

Now I'm celebrating my first year in blogging
Its my site's anniversary!Yippee!
I never thought I would enjoy the blogosphere
There are times that I don't wanna sleep and just stayed all night reading other people's lives!haha or I'm just naturally "tsismosa" (gossip girl?LOL)

Now I would like to thank every one of you
For visiting my blog, I know I'm not the best blogger out there
But I'm happy that whenever I see my site meters
and found out that some people from all over the world are reading, appreciating my entries, so thank you!

To those 24,713 Total Unique Visitors from Topblogs.com.ph
To those 27,171 Total Visits from Sitemeter.com and many of my monitoring sites
I know its not much, but thank you people for paying attention
And pausing your life to stay a few minutes and or hours
and leaving your opinions on my humble blog.

To those who emailed me, to those who add me to their instant messenger. To my readers from all over the world (yabang!feeling sikat LOL!) Thank you!

Now I would like to thank some blogger friends : my ever loyal chat mate from Indonesia tizzy of tizzz-persona, Rik of animal factory,Mico of mybleedingangel, Vin of world of starfish, Michael of stainedheart, Kris jasper, rye of flamindevil, MC of house of MC, turismoboi, chronicler of the daily grind, summer of a writer's den, bluguy, citybuoy, jimg of kapitbahay, pikey of simple tofu, joyo,and if I forgot to mention anyone sorry haha you already know who you are.

I'm looking forward for more blogging years with you guys.

So before I go i would like to share to everyone my very first blog entry exactly one year ago...

"I am me"-- August 7,2008.

P.S
I hope I'll find someone special to love here in Qatar!May ganunnnnnnnnnn!!!!hahaha

This Is My Prayer

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 16:48:00 +0000

Dear God,

I have been here in Qatar for a month now

and I wanna thank you for all the blessings

But I think I'm about to go crazy

In this freakin' hospital

So, I'm asking for your guidance and help...

Please help me oh lord...I desperately need it

Everywhere I look, every where I go...

There's always...always...

Good looking guys around!!!

At the ward, there's cute pinoy nurses

There's this X-ray tech, this med tech,this ultrasound guy,

at the MRI,at the ICU...OPD, canteen,

at the HR department, at my building, at the elevator

*sigh*

They're all around me,I don't know if I can suppress this urge to...

To grab their...their...hand!LOL

I smile alone, I was happy, I was in cloud nine

When I walk pass them or be near them

I was daydreaming...

This is so insane!

They are so cute and sexy and hot and..big!!!

Please bring back my sanity,

This is my prayer

so help me lord...

Amen.

Exposure To The Virus

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:13:00 +0000

Two days ago, I was assigned at the Medical ICU here at our hospital together with other two senior Indian staff and we made our rounds on each patient and we finished our tasks for the day...and today we were informed by our secretary that one patient from Medical ICU is positive with A(H1N1)!!!!

Waaaaaaaaaaa! I made contact with that patient! Now I'm bothered that I might be carrying it...not only me but half of the staff from our department!haha. I'm observing myself if I have any symptoms already!Now I'm paranoid! And its annoying that the hospital management are not telling us anything or giving us any prophylaxis and we just said, fine!If we get infected nobody will run the department!

They didn't even tell us to do a self-quarantine!

Those assholes!

So far I feel fine!LOL

Nobody But You!

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:50:00 +0000

I love this song!haha.You might feel this is so gayyyyy...but, whatev! It's making me dance!Yeah!!!

and since we love to do our own pinoy rendition of a song, ASAP girls copied the Wonder Girls, click here watch the video. SOP girls made theirs too!Waaaaa!Watch here and judge which one is better.

Stalking?

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:06:00 +0000

It was 9 in the morning and I was on duty at the surgical ICU that day,after I finished all of my tasks, I was about to go back to our unit to rest and wait for any calls from my assigned area, as I was walking the hallway, there he is...on the phone...smiling...like an apparition in front of me...

And I was like "Oh My God!" he is so damn cute!!!! LOL

He was walking in front of me, he was wearing their traditional Arab dress which is up to their feet long. And that red checkered cloth on top of his head added the effect of his looks being so divine! (see traditional Arab clothes here)

I lowered down my eyes and I can see from my x-ray visions that he was not wearing briefs...his d*ck was like a pendulum shifting from left to right side of his leg as he walk...so hotttttttttt!!!

if I'm not mistaken this is what they wear underneath

He was the best looking guy I saw in this country so far! He is tall, and slender and so BEAUTIFUL!!! I'm lost for words to describe for this cutie!

I think he is about 25 years old, as I walked pass him, his smell left in the air and I was like stunned!Hypnotized!

And I cant get enough!!!hahaha I was hungry that time and just the sight of him made me forget all about my cravings to eat so i decided to follow him wherever he will be going on this side of the hospital! Gosh I have the stalking capability LOL!

I just want to see more of him, nothing else, I just like looking at him for a few more minutes that's what I told myself. It was like I'm just cruising. I can compare this to window shopping, right!that's right window shopping! (defensive)

I made a little distance from his back so that he wont notice that I'm stalking I mean checking him out haha, as I was walking behind this beautiful creature this country has ever produced i noticed someone very familiar in front of my Arab...coming towards me...

My Jordanian senior staff!!!

What the hell is he doing here downstairs??? he's supposed to be upstairs!LOL

So my hap-penis was ruined at the site of my superior!

Its too late to avoid him he already saw me and he looked puzzled!

He greeted me and put his arms around my shoulders and asked me where I'm going, that my area is on the other side.

"I didn't realized I was heading the wrong way sir, its a good thing I saw you!" this was what I told him instead! And I took a peek of my favorite Arab and he was gone huhu

Related readings:
traditional Arab dress for men in Saudi

Anyway I wanna share to you some photosI have taken when i was at my favorite mall here in Qatar so far, Villagio. I think this is same place Boys over Flowers shot their few episodes.

The ceiling is so amazing!

And this part of the mall I love most, they have a river inside just like in Italy. And look at the roof, its a fake sky and it seem so real!Lovely!

This is the view from my room at the 6th floor

and this is me feeling emo at the hospital window LOL!

Misconception

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 19:24:00 +0000

At this time and year its still surprising to know that many of our fellow Filipino are still stuck on the idea that if you are gay, you'll like straight men, if you're gay, you'll like girl's clothes, if you're gay, you like to have a slim and thin body. But that's so Ice Age already LOL!

To most of them if you're gay,you just have to look like the "parlorista" gays that they used to know (no offense meant to them.)

S0me of my friends are still shock once they find out I'm going out or dating someone gay-ish than me! and would say "Are you trying to be a lesbian or something?!" haha. They find it weird, that's why I always told them, straight men are safe when I'm around! And homophobic men are always been suspected of being gay themselves!LOL

I don't know I'm just weird I guess, the more effeminate the person is the more I'm attracted LOL!

Gay Facts:

Most gay loves to be masculine and bulky.

Just because someone is gay doesn't mean he won't like sport or any physical activity.

Just because you suspect someone seems to be gay and you want him to admit it, let him be,its his prerogative.Maybe he has a lot of stuff to consider. Lets face it, most of our family and friends have a hard time dealing with homosexuality.And stop talking at the person's back!That he should come out and stuffs like that, and like this. Its not easy being gay specially if you have a lot to lose!

Just because someone is so manly doesn't mean he's not gay!

Just because he hangs out with straight men doesn't mean he's straight!You can never know!

Gay men can still have attraction with the female species.(Well, I still have some desire with women if you may ask!haha)

Just because he is married, doesn't mean he is straight!

Homosexuality is not contagious.

Not all homo's are loud, vulgar, flirty and slutty!haha

And just because I'm gay, doesn't mean you don't treat me right, that I'm less of a person!

Isaksak nyo 'yan sa kukote nyo! kidding!!!!!!!!!!!

Acceptance is the Key

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:53:00 +0000

I was talking to a new found friend here at Doha when we talked about her family,her kids...she told me that her young son is showing early signs of "joining the other side"...that at first her husband was frustrated about it and trying to stop it from developing. He don't want a gay son.

"He was beating him with a belt and don't want him to be gay...its really obvious that he is different,he likes girl's stuffs, he wanna wear girly clothes..." she was laughing while telling me these things

"One time when he was sick we brought him to the doctor and talked about our son's sexuality and he advised us that the acceptance should start with the family...his own parents..."

"That how can anyone or the society accept him if his own blood cannot accept what he is"

"The kid will develop some insecurity and he wont be able to enjoy his childhood to the fullest if at an early age he encounters hardship already. That's why after that, my husband and I decided to accept him straight or not, we will love him and support him all the way...we have a gay son, that's it." she said.

I salute her and her husband for being so proud of their son, I was thinking at that moment that their son is so lucky having them as parents and that what if I have a dad like that? would the situation in our family will be different? as you all know that I am not close to my dad and that many years ago I despised him and cursed him to death haha.Well, that was in the past now.

Everything Will Get Better...

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:54:00 +0000

Thank God I have my Internet connection already! I found many Pinoys on our building and asked them If I could share their Internet connection haha all are willing to help. So now Im online!Yippee!!!

Anyway, I'm still adjusting to the life here In Qatar, and so thus my body! I have pimples again, I have colds, I have cough, there are times I felt like having a fever (not that I have A(H1N1) OK!haha) .I just hope everything will get better soon.

Its so funny when my male co-worker on our department are calling me "pare"(or dude), I was laughing inside my mind. I'm thinking, should i announced it already or what so that there wont be any misunderstanding, there were times they are hooking me to some single ladies (nurses,therapist) at the hospital hahaha!

I just smiled and said "I'm not yet ready..." and continued in my thought "for a new bf LOL"

They are all great and friendly, I'm not having problems with other staffs at work. All are willing to help me. We have other nationalities there too, I just have to get use to their smell.Its really not a pleasant smell. Body odor.

I was online the other day and I stumbled upon this guy and we talked for a bit he's here at Qatar too and I got so excited that I might find someone "gay/bi" like me, and honestly I'm a little bit horny!LOL and thought I might get lucky and get laid!haha

He told me he is near our building and I asked him he can come and visit our flat some time and have some good conversation. He said "why don't you just ask me if I wanna have sex with you?" and I was like denying at first haha though its what I want but there's no way I will admit it "yet" LOL!

"Of course not! Oh I'm not like that!I just want some company and meet new friends" my nose could have been longer if I'm Pinocchio! We haven't chat again after that.

Well, I'm here to work so I have take it off my mind. No more gay guys for me at the moment.If he comes then he is welcome. If not, I'll just kidnap anyone LOL!

Oh I have the strangest moment last night, I was in my room and sitting on the sofa when suddenly I felt like crying!Waaaa...I didn't know why all of a sudden I felt like...so alone...so lonely. I finally realized, this is what they called: Homesickness!

It didn't occurred to me that I could feel it, I mean I'm always away from home. I am used to being out of our house for long period of times. I even laughed at friends who said they cried at night and said it wont happen to me haha! Now I know what they feel!!!

I fought the urge to call my mom and ask her to buy me ticket back home!LOL I just open my laptop and played those hip hop and dance music, thank God it passed away and felt a little better *sigh*

I know everything will get better...

Soon.

Im Still Alive!LOL!

ltebc30@hotmail.com (Mac Callister) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 13:36:00 +0000

Hello everyone!finally i am able to connect to the net!!!I cant apply yet for an Internet connection because I don't have my Qatar ID as of this moment.Well, I'm actually doing good here,I didn't puke on the plane!LOL. Its actually a little boring for me. The Filipino Muslim guy I was telling you on my last post is a nice guy,old but a good person, we are living together on our accommodation.

Qatar is a hot country.It feels like I'm in the oven,temperatures are like 40 degrees, hotter than our country.I love our house though, its big, condo-like.We live in the 6th floor, 3 bedrooms one for each of us.We're still waiting for the third housemate. All air conditioned, with furnitures and some basic appliances too (TV,washing machine,gas stove,ref)

Our hospital provided us with 3 days free food and transportation(not bus,but a car!). I still have a lot of getting use to at my job,the machines and procedures are so different from what I'm trained with.I have many Filipino co-employee.Some are friendly and some are not (yet.hehe) I'm still testing the water if you know what I mean.

And my favorite part of being here in Qatar is...drum roll please...the Arab guysssssssssssss!LOL! When I arrived at the airport and I saw those good looking Arabs wearing those white long gown(LOL) with that cloth on their head it felt like I'm seeing saints!!!so hottttt!!!!I never thought I'll be attracted,Gosh!!!!

And the added bonus?well they don't wear underwears, just a thin pants or shorts inside and when the wind blows you could actually see the silhouette!Its big!haha.I don't know there's something in them that spells hotness! I cant wait to see some naked Arabs in the future!LOL

We just have some problems with food since I don't know how to cook!anyway,I'll update u guys soon!