I have read many books on parenting because I felt ill equipped and in need of help, even though God blessed me with great parents from whom I learned the basics. I am just going to mention here the ones that have helped me the most. I don’t necessarily agree with everything in them all, but gleaned what I  could. I have put them roughly in order with the ones I would recommend the most first.

Any of these that take a hard-lined approach, please mix in with Biblical love and patience and grace for your children. The Bible tells us to discipline our children, but also to love and teach and not to exasperate them.

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp

My copy of this has been mislaid, or else I have lent it out! But two things still stick out to me from reading this. One is that the important thing in parenting is reaching children’s hearts. So we shouldn’t just discipline them and tell them things. As they get old enough to understand, we should also explain why, so that we are teaching their hearts what is right and pleasing to God. Also it has a great section on how and when to discipline your children, which is really what I used as my guidebook for that, since it seems very balanced and Biblical.

Hints on Child Training by H. Clay Trumbull

This is a great practical book written in 1890 with lots of useful advice about all kinds of aspects of child-raising.

On the subject of friends, he says, ‘As a child will have companions, and as he needs to have them, it is doubly important that a parent be alive to the importance of guiding his every child in the choice of his companions and in his relations to those companions whom he has without choosing.’ p115

He also says sometimes it is wisest not to direct or say no but to let children alone. ‘The training of a child must go on incessantly, but a large share of the time it will best go on by the operation of influences, inspirations, and inducements, in the direction of a right standard held persistently before the child…’ p51

The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

This is a wonderfully inspiring book, mostly about a philosophy of child-raising – treating it as a calling to disciple our children just as Jesus did with his disciples.

Here is a paragraph I underlined and put a star by when I read it:

‘It is to Him (Jesus) that we will have to give an account of how faithfully we sought to pass on his message and his commission to our children. Giving our children the gift of inspiration – helping them understand their spiritual purpose, which is to glorify God and to make Him known – is one of the most crucial tasks of Christian parenting.’ p66

She goes on to say that ‘each of our children has been given a specific personality and a particular set of circumstances that will give shape to God’s purpose for his or her life. It is our privilege and responsibility as parents to help our children understand their particular fit in God’s plan. This means pointing out special skills and talents. It also means helping children realize that God didn’t give the such skills and talents just to use on themselves, but to glorify Him and bring others to Him through the stewardship of their lives.’ p66-67

The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot

I love Elisabeth’s Elliot’s writing, because she is so clearly ‘sold out’ to do whatever God wants, and is also very practical and direct. One thing I remember learning from reading this was how her mother would teach her children to ‘come’ when they first started to crawl, p137.

She says on p122, ‘If children learned early to respect, even to stand in awe of, their parents, they would be far less likely to get into trouble by defying other authorities God places over them.’

Child Training Tips by Reb Bradley

This is a very practical book, mainly about discipline and respect. One thing I remember from this book is how he says that children must learn to obey without knowing the reasons behind their parents’ instructions. He says, ‘If you habitually justify your instructions, you will find yourself enduring your child’s wrath if you fail to persuade him with your reasoning.’ p45

There is also a very interesting chapter on how children avoid personal responsibility with various defense mechanisms such as denial, guilt projection, rationalisation, changing the subject, self-pity, and many more.

Growing Kids God’s Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo

What always sticks out to me from what I learned and read of this (there are other books written in this series besides the one linked to) was the ‘funnel method’. I no longer have the material on it, but basically it means that you don’t let children have complete freedom to do what they want wherever they are. You start off with the boundaries in very tight, and only loosen them as they show responsibility. I applied this, for example to shopping, where the funnel was very narrow and I made them stay in the seats in the trolley. I would gradually let them have more freedom once they proved they were capable of using it properly, but would not just let them out whenever they wanted. It does mean a bit more exertion in keeping them reined in, but generally means that their behaviour is better and they can earn more freedom as you go along.

In Conclusion

I hope you may find these useful to you. To repeat what I said at the beginning in case you skip-read: any of these that take a hard-lined approach, please mix in with Biblical love, patience and grace for your children. The Bible tells us to discipline our children, but also to love and teach and not to exasperate them.

If you have a book that you found particularly useful for Christian parenting, please do share it in the comments. Thank you!

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Following our EU referendum and David Cameron’s resignation we’re faced with a shortlist of candidates for the role of Prime Minister of the UK. Whoever wins will have the difficult responsibility of navigating us through the Brexit from the EU.

The Bible says we are to ‘pray for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way’ (1 Timothy 2:2 ESV). Sadly I don’t pray for our rulers as often as I should, and I expect that many of us don’t. However this uncertain time in politics has flipped that around, and I find myself often praying that God would bring in the right person to govern us.

If you’re having trouble praying

I used to really struggle with the exhortation to ‘Pray without ceasing’. When I was younger I had a list of people to pray for each day. But since having babies that just hasn’t worked!

Now instead what I do is to pray about things I worry about (Phil 4v6). That has led on to me praying about things or people I think about, which is a good start towards praying without ceasing.

So I would encourage you – as often as you hear it in the news, or think about it – pray. Pray that God would put the right person in position (and I believe that there are some committed Christians in the running!) who would help us to lead quiet and godly lives.

Here’s a beautiful song by Casting Crowns which keeps coming to my mind – ‘If We’ve Ever Needed You’:

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My son recently started leading worship at a new Sunday afternoon service we are doing in a different area and it is a fun and exciting thing for him to do. However I was very aware from experience that before long he might find it getting stale and more of a grind than a privilege. So I warned him of that and talked to him about how to try and prevent it getting that way.

Then I also realised that anyone who serves (or does anything!) regularly in the same area has to be careful to prevent this happening, so I thought I would share what I told him plus a few extra thoughts. If you have more tips, please share in the comments!

Wherever you are, be all there

Jim Elliot said this, and the complete quote is even better:

‘Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.’

Whatever we do, whether it’s in church or washing dishes and emptying bins at home, as a Christian we should do our best because everything we do should be to glorify God (1 Cor 10:31). That means that Christians should be some of the best workers! So we need to really pay attention to what we are doing and do a good job – and that in itself will help us stay fresh.

Remember your calling

We need to continually remind ourselves of why we are there in the first place. When we wonder why we bother we need to remember God put us there. When we think we’re not good enough we should remember that it is God who equips us and strengthens us.

Have an eternal perspective

Everything in this world will eventually perish and only the eternal things will remain. So we should look at what we are doing for eternity – like discipling, or helping people in their faith and so on. Also ‘seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.’ (Matthew 6:33) I have found that whatever I might be worrying about, or that isn’t going so well, if I focus on seeking God and pleasing Him, the rest fades into insignificance.

‘Only one life ’twill soon be past.

Only what’s done for Christ will last’

C.T. Studd

Keep working toward the goal

Like everything we generally do things a lot better when we have a goal in mind. In the work place the goal is clearly to get an income, however with serving in the church most of us don’t get an income, and even if we do, that shouldn’t be our goal or we won’t be very good ministers of the gospel!

In Galatians 6:9 it says ‘Do not become weary in doing good, for in due time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up’. This is such an important verse in ministry as we can become discouraged and tired so easily – but we are promised that we will reap a harvest in time. For some people it wasn’t till they had passed away to heaven that the harvest really came.

Make sure that you are in God’s will

I have sometimes over committed, usually by being impulsive and helpful and not taking time to pray about something that is a regular occurrence. I now have a rule that before I commit to anything big I pray and make sure it is right. If you do over commit it is easy then to get tired, burnt out, and lose all your perspective. Sometimes too, you are in God’s will but you just need to take some time out to rest and be refreshed. Other times you might be in God’s will but not spending time with, and depending on, God.

Arm yourself for battle

When we are serving and ministering we are fighting a spiritual battle against the forces of evil so we need to arm ourselves or we are going to go under more easily! We can do this by doing our best to pray without ceasing, by taking time to be with God every day and learn from His Word and commit all that we do to Him, and by putting on the armour of God (Ephesians 6).

If you feel yourself getting stale in your serving and don’t feel fresh, try to take extra time and pray beforehand to ask for God’s help to make sure you are doing it in Christ’s strength and not your own.

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A few days after I’d written my last post, ‘What I Loved About Creation Fest 2015’, I realised that I had missed something. One of the greatest things about it, which I didn’t realise until later, was that it gave me time to think. Even though I was busy in the Kids Tent, and with my own kids, I was able to see the big picture of my life with regard to eternity.

I think just the fact that I was getting away and serving God helped me to put everything into perspective and be reminded of what is really important. And that has reminded me of how helpful it us for us to take some reflection time and retreat spiritually.

We get so busy with our day to day lives, that it’s almost like we’re stuck in a tunnel – just seeing what is right in front of us. But God calls us to set our minds on things above (Colossians 3:2). I think one of the best ways to do this is to go away for some time and reflect and pray. It doesn’t necessarily have to be going away for a retreat – even just going for regular walks to pray can do the same thing.

When I was a student at university in Dundee I would regularly take my bike and cycle to Invergowrie, a little village nearby, and then walk around there and think and pray. Invergowrie had a special place in my heart because it was where Robert Murray M’Cheyne would go and pray – and he has been my hero for a long time, ever since I read his biography! (If you want some inspiration you should read it J)This is what his biography says:

‘During his first years in Dundee, he often rode out in an afternoon to the ruined church of Invergowrie, to enjoy an hour’s perfect solitude; for he felt meditation and prayer to be the very sinews of his work.’

When Jesus started to get busy with people crowding around him, this is what it says he did:

He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed. Luke 5:16

And at another time it says:

Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed. Mark 1:35

Here are some suggestions from my experience of how we can do this:

• Try to set a regular time to get away from everything and pray, whether that’s in your closet or walking outside. I personally find walks in God’s creation a lot better for this, as I can see God in everything around me, and I can talk aloud to Him whereas it always feels strange praying out loud in private! Since having kids it is more difficult to do that, so I have to be creative and settle for praying in my room more often
• Go away to something where you will get a lot of spiritual input. Things like retreats, Christian festivals and places where you are serving God in some way are great for this. The spiritual input means that it will keep your mind on the things of God, and you can usually fit in some prayer and reflection as well.
• When you have this time, pray about your life as a whole, and try and get God’s perspective on it. Remember His priorities – like seeking first His kingdom and righteousness – and be open to changing your mind about things in your life if He wants you to. Try and get to the point where you can trust God that He knows best and be able to say, ‘Not my will, but yours, Lord’ – like Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane.
• If you are really busy and tired, try to get some rest. I have found that often rest and renewal will help me get back to where I should be if I have my heart and desires in the right place, and it will free up my mind to start thinking again about what is important.

Do you have any other suggestions for stepping back and getting God’s perspective? Please share in the comments if you do!

Linking up with Inspire Me Monday

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Our Church family setting up camp last year at Creation Fest – I forgot to take any photos this year!

A little over a week ago I came back from a great time at Creation Fest, which is a free Christian Music Festival and Bible Week held in Cornwall, UK. The first one I went to was in 2004 and it has gradually increased in size, attendance and awesomeness each year! You can see a great video with some of its highlights below:

For the past few years I have been a volunteer in the Kids Tent, so my view of Creation Fest is slightly limited to the inside of the Kids Tent, my own tent and a few fields and roads in between… but I still want to share some things that I loved about it this year:

• Lives were changed – children, young people and adults became Christians, had their lives changed, recommitted their lives to God, and found a joy that is like nothing else! In the Kids Tent we had 71 kids give their lives to Jesus! I got to lead two children to Christ, and help two others rededicate their lives which was a real blessing.
• The Kids Tent worship was great fun – one day I was feeling disappointed that I couldn’t get to the volunteer devotions in the morning because of getting kids up and breakfasted, and as I was praying I realised we probably have the best worship in the whole site anyway!! The Josh Walker Band added some friends to make ‘The Jelly Beans’ and led us in some great action songs. I’ll link to the songs at the bottom so you can start dancing around the house like us
• Our children loved every minute of it – here’s my quote of the week: “Mummy, please can you take us to the Kid’s Tent, because when Daddy took us we were late!” I always got there early because I was volunteering, so they never had any chance of being late, and of course Daddy tried to get them there on time but didn’t always succeed!
• Our church bonding – quite a big group from our church went and had great fun camping, cooking and eating together. I think these kind of things are really valuable for churches as it gives a great opportunity for fellowship and spiritual input.
• Being a part of God’s work – in the years that I couldn’t volunteer because I had babies, I would look longingly at the orange shirts thinking, “I want to be one of those!” (even though I would never pick an orange shirt out of choice!). Now I actually get to be one – and even though it is busy and tiring at times, I love knowing that I am contributing to God’s Kingdom being expanded and people growing in the knowledge of God and His Word.
• A taste of heaven – as Pastor Brian Broderson mentioned in one of the live feed videos, Creation Fest is like a little taste of heaven. We get to meet up again with our brothers and sisters in Christ and have great fellowship and fun together just like we will one day in heaven. I served alongside some great people, and we have some sweet friends that are a long way across the country from us and I love to have fun together and catch up and talk of spiritual things.
• The live feed is amazing – because I was in the kids tent I missed out on pretty much everything from everywhere else as the only time I was free was the evenings and mostly that meant getting dinner, showering the kids and putting them to bed! But thanks to the live feed that is archived at the moment, I can catch up on everything in the Big Shed, including teaching, worship, music and backstage interviews – all as I’m cooking or folding laundry J

I just want to conclude by saying a big thank you to all the organisers, volunteers and sponsors that made Creation Fest possible.

Also please do check out the website and seriously consider coming next year (6-12th August 2016) whether you are searching for answers, looking to grow spiritually, go skateboarding or want to hear some good Christian music! They also need lots of volunteers if that’s where your heart is!

Also in the meantime you can catch up on the Live Feed to see what went on in the Big Shed, and in the next few weeks there will be teaching up on the website that is from the other venues as well.

Here are the songs we learned in the Kids Tent this year!

Linking up to Tell Me A True Story, Good Morning Mondays, Soul Survival and Inspire Me Monday

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I was reading the longest chapter in the Bible the other day – Psalm 119 – and was struck by this phrase: ‘Your testimonies also are my delight‘. I thought, “Do I really delight in reading the Bible?”

I mean… I read it every day, and often first thing in the morning, but I can’t truly say that I am delighted to read it every day!

There are more phrases like this in the Psalm too:

I love them exceedingly v167

Your commandments are my delights v143

They are the rejoicing of my heart V111

Your law is my delight v77

So then I wondered what made the writer love it so much – the whole of Psalm 119 is about God’s Word, so I set to looking through it and figuring out what he had written about it. Here are the reasons I found to love and delight in God’s commands and testimonies.

They Are Invaluable!

The psalmist has some fantastic descriptions of God’s laws:

1. They are righteous v7
2. They have wonderful things within them v18
3. They are the way of truth v30
4. They are good v39
5. They are worth more than riches v72
6. They are eternal v89
7. They are a lamp to our feet v105
8. They are a light to our path v105
9. They are faithful v138
10. They are pure v140
11. We can trust in them v43

God Commands Us To Obey Them

God’s ways are right and good, and the writer wanted to please God and do what He said.

12. God has commanded us to keep them diligently v4

13. If we keep them we will not be ashamed when we read them v6

14. God rebukes those who stray from them v21

They Will Bless Us

Do you want to be blessed? Or feel like you’re missing out? Just read this list of how we can benefit from God’s law!

15. You will be blessed if you walk in them v1

16. You will be blessed if you keep them v2

17. We can cleanse our way by taking heed of them v9

18. When we hide them in our heart they help us not to sin against God v11

19. They give us life v50

20. They give us comfort v52

21. They make us thankful v62

22. They give us friends – others who also keep God’s commands v63

23. They give us hope v81, 147

24. They help us to get through trials v92

25. They make us wise v98-100

26. They give us understanding of good and evil v104

27. They give light v130

28. They give us peace v165

29. They stops us from stumbling v165

30. They can be our counsellors v24

Some Hints to Help us Love God’s Commands More

So there are lots of reasons to love God’s word. But what if we don’t love it that much? Well we could take on board some of these hints from Psalm 119:

• Ask God to help us desire them v35
• Ask God to turn out eyes away from looking at worthless things v36
• Ask God to give us understanding so that we can learn His commands v73
• Ask God to revive us so that we can keep His laws v88
• Ask God to teach them to us v109
• Meditate on them at night v148

I have also thought about it and realised that the psalmist doesn’t say he loves reading God’s Word so much as that he loves it in itself.

And to this extent I can say that I do love and delight in it. It is what I base my life around – the principles and commands of the Bible. But I could definitely meditate on and treasure it even more!

Linking up with Spiritual Sundays, and Amy Schlichter

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We were talking recently in our home Bible study group about our mission to know God and make Him known. But we often miss the fact that our biggest influence is not at work, or with our friends, but at home. If your family are not Christians you have a better opportunity than anyone else to witness to them just by your life. If you have children, your influence on who they become will probably be greater than anyone else’s will ever be.

Here are some thoughts on our potential for influence just as ordinary Christians with a small circle of people around us:

You Can Live So People Will Miss You

Robert Murray M’Cheyne was known for saying often, “Live so as to be missed.” If our lives are influencing others by our love for God and for others, then when we leave this life hopefully people will miss us. 

Here is another great quote which I have modernised slightly:

‘Be useful where you live, that they may both want and wish for you to be around. Find out people’s desires and wishes and meet them there. All worldly joys grow dim beside the one joy of doing kind things.’ G. Herbert

Just in our homes we can live in such a way, being kind to those around us, that they love and want us to be there, and miss us when we’re gone. Recently my husband preached about living so as to be missed and I didn’t feel at all sure that I would be missed! But then just a few days later I went away for a retreat and the last picture in my mind before I left was of my three children all gathered around me talking at once and saying, “I’ll miss you!” As I drove away I realised that though my sphere of influence is quite small since I’m at home a lot of the time, I am at least living to be missed by my kids.

You Can Make It Like Heaven Around You

In our sinful, dark and often discouraging world, we can make a little heaven around us. I never thought of this till I read this quote below:

‘Let the weakest, let the humblest remember, that in his daily course he can, if he will, shed around him almost a heaven. Kindly words, sympathizing attentions, watchfulness against wounding men’s sensitiveness, – these cost very little, but they are priceless in their value.’ F. W. Robertson

But it makes total sense – we are supposed to be a light to the world as Christians:

‘You are the light of the world… let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven’ Matthew 5:16

You Can Affect People for Good or Evil

I will always remember how in university one of my friends told me that she felt sometimes like the devil was sitting on one of her shoulders and I was sitting on the other lol! I don’t think I was very vocal about anything – I just lived my life as a Christian the best I could. But I guess to her I was almost like a conscience to influence her to do the right thing as opposed to the devil trying to get her to do the opposite!

In a similar but opposite way we can influence people to do evil very easily too: ‘A little leaven leavens the lump’ (1 Cor 5:6). Just as only a very small amount of yeast is needed to go through the whole loaf and make the bread rise, just a small amount of sin can spread to others around it.

We can also ruin people’s day or make their day by our attitudes and words. One irritating person can make you not want to go somewhere because they are so hard to be with. One joyful and encouraging person can make you want to go there because you know you’ll be uplifted.

You can Encourage People Just By Your Life

Lastly, you don’t just influence people who you are around at the time. I am often encouraged by just thinking of certain people. For example when I think of these different people I see:

• Someone who sacrificed to go to the mission field and serve God
  
• Someone who is faithful – always there, always doing the same job well
  
• Someone who always has a smile and a sense of humour, no matter what else is going on
  

When I am feeling discouraged they just need to pop up in my head and I get instant encouragement! Wouldn’t you like to be an instant encourager like that? J

So how do we do all this? Well really, I think just living the life that God wants us to – loving Him and loving others – will make us into that light on the hill that cannot be hidden. But as you do it, realise your influence on those around you – as it might encourage you to do it even better!

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Some people seem to be naturally giving – one of our kids will happily give away most of his bank account if he thinks it’s for a good cause. But for others it is more of a struggle.

I was brought up to be frugal, which I appreciate, but it also means that I have a tendency to hold on to things rather than give them away!

As I was reading my Bible the other day, I came across three good reasons that Jacob used to make a gift, and thought that we could apply these to our own circumstances as well.

After Jacob had deceived Esau out of his father’s blessing (Genesis 27), Esau wanted to kill him. So Jacob understandably went off to live somewhere far away. When he eventually returned many years later, and Esau came to meet him, he was still afraid so it says he ‘took what came to his hand as a present for Esau his brother.’

What has always amused me is not only the sheer volume of his gift that ‘came to his hand’ – two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty milk camels with their colts, forty cows and ten bulls, twenty female donkeys and ten foals – but also the way he gave it.

He sent each drove of animals in front of him with distance between each one. Then he put a servant with each drove and told them:

‘When Esau my brother meets you and asks you, saying, ‘To whom do you belong, and where are you going? Whose are these in front of you?’ then you shall say, ‘They are your servant Jacob’s. It is a present sent to my lord Esau; and behold, he also is behind us.’ (Genesis 32:17)

I can just imagine that if Esau still had intentions to kill him, each successive load of animals might have gone a long way towards changing his mind!

When I was reading it the other day I noticed that there were a few reasons he gave this enormous gift. One was obviously fear of what Esau might do to him and his family, but there were some other reasons which I think we could do well to apply to our lives too:

To Make Peace

Jacob had done a lot to cause a rift with his brother by taking away his birthright and then on top of that his blessing, which meant a big deal in those days. By giving a gift he hoped that he could make peace and be would be accepted by him.

The Bible says we should seek to be reconciled with our brothers and sisters in Christ:

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23,24

Also, even if the other person is the one who has done something wrong we should still seek to be reconciled, and giving something to them is a good way to do that:

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the Lord will reward you. Proverbs 25:21,22

If there is a rift between you and someone else, think about giving them a gift (if that’s appropriate), as it can do a lot to heal bad feelings.

Once I was mad at my husband (yes it happens!) and realised that I shouldn’t be. So I decided to force myself to do something nice for him and made him a chef salad (he was on a diet at the time so loved salads). The strange thing is that the process of making that salad changed my feelings toward him so that by the time I gave it to him I felt a lot more loving, and it healed the division between us as well.

Because God had Dealt Graciously With Him

When Jacob had left his family he had nothing, but when he came back he had wives, children and lots of animals – he had become very wealthy, and acknowledged that God had given it to him and been with him.

Please, take my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me… Genesis 33:11

If God has dealt graciously with us that is a good reason to give to others – as we can follow His example, and also make use of what He has given us by doing what pleases Him by loving one another.

Because He Had Enough

Please, take my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough. Genesis 33:11

Sometimes we just have enough! The Bible says‘And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content..’ 1 Timothy 6:8 – so anything more than that is an extra J John the Baptist said that if you have two coats, you should give one to the man who has none.

“Let the man who has two coats,” he answered, “give one to the man who has none; and let the man who has food share it with others.” Luke 3:11 (WNT)

Once someone came to our house and didn’t have a coat. I remember thinking, ‘Well, I could give her mine, but I like it!’ But then I remembered this verse – I had at least two coats, probably more like three or four, so could definitely spare one for someone who had nothing!

To me these verses are a challenge not to hang on too tightly to my wordly goods, but remember that if we love others we should also be willing to share what God has graciously given us.

Linking up with: Inspire Me Monday, A Proverbs 31 Wife, Counting My Blessings, Arabah Joy, Mom’s The Word

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If you are a parent you will probably know how frustrating it is when children have gone a bit wild and start picking things off supermarket shelves or other craziness!

There is a technique I often used to prevent this from happening, which is to keep the boundaries tight to start with, until they have proved responsible, and then gradually let them get looser. The Ezzos, who wrote ‘Growing Kids God’s Way’ call it ‘Parenting within the Funnel’.

The idea is that you start at the small end of the funnel and only gradually let it get bigger. Here are some examples:

Going to Church with Toddlers

When I would take our kids to church at crawling age I would hold them before the service, or keep them in the pram with some books and toys. Basically that is because once you let them get down on the floor and crawl they will be very unhappy if you start reigning them in and try to hold them again. But if you hold them from the start then you won’t get those problems.

Visiting the Supermarket

Another place that can be fraught with problems is the supermarket. What I always did when my kids were little was to get a trolley with two seats in and tell them they had to sit in the trolley. I would bring along an apple or carrot (or buy a bag with them and let them eat one of them since the bags aren’t by weight!) for them to chew. That usually would keep them happy for quite a while. Once I got three children I ended up getting the food delivered!

It is the same principle here – if I had gone into the supermarket with them walking, or let them out of the trolley, it would have been a lot harder to control them. Also then when they did eventually misbehave it would be a lot harder to get them back into the trolley cheerfully.

Messy Things

Once we moved into a house that had crayon permanently marked on some of the walls, and it wouldn’t come off without being painted over. I really didn’t want that to happen with our kids if at all possible, so another boundary I set while my kids were little is that they always had to use crayons and pencils at the table, and are only occasionaly allowed pens because they don’t come off!

I have to admit that we have still had a few graffiti-like instances, but thankfully they weren’t too bad, and have really been since there are more pencils throughout the house due to school work.

Why Boundaries Can Be Helpful

So why not just let them be free? Well of course you can if you want! But here are some of the reasons why I choose to use this tactic to help things not get out of hand:

• Choose your battles wisely – though I want to teach my kids to be obedient, the supermarket and church are not the best environment for this. So I prefer to avoid confrontation in those situations where possible, and do battle at other times when I’m at home and not trying to get my shopping done!
• To be a good witness – let’s face it, most of us parents can end up losing our patience and raising our voice if we are stressed enough! So in public I prefer to keep the boundaries closer, which means that bad behaviour is less likely in front of others.
• A peaceful environment – if I have the situation under control, for instance by making sure the kids colour at the table, it is far more likely to keep the peace than if they are running all over the house with crayons, dropping them, leaving them in random places, and drawing on things they shouldn’t!
• They can learn the Biblical principle of ‘Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much‘ Luke 16:10 (NIV). If they can be trusted within the boundaries you have put them in, then you can gradually loosen up and trust them with more.

Linking up to Inspire Me Monday

The post Setting Boundaries to Stop Your Children Getting Out of Control appeared first on Motivated By Jesus.

I have gathered together all my posts from the last 4 years (I didn’t know I had been blogging that long!) on quiet times, Bible reading and prayer. I have been a Christian for about 30 years now (gulp!) and during that time a major goal has always been to spend quality time with God.

I have failed many times, learned many things, and maybe you can find something that will help you, from what God has taught me over the years

If you don’t know where to start, I would suggest that you begin with this post – which has 10 tips for quiet times.

Quiet Times (spending time with God)

10 Tips for Quiet Times – practical tips on how to have a daily quality time with God.

How to Find a Good Time for Devotions – some tips on how to book an appointment with God that will actually work.

My Devotional Basket – my quiet time ‘hardware’ – which books and Bibles I use to help me.

Giving God Your Best – why we should try to give God our best time, rather than what is left!

Reading Your Bible

Why Read The Bible? – this should give you some motivation to read God’s Word.

Bible Reading Plans – various different ways of reading through the Bible.

Can Reading Your Bible Be Legalistic? – the thought of legalism often seems to come up when people talk about reading through the Bible – is it a valid concern?

D.L.Moody on Studying the Bible – quotes from a famous and godly evangelist about reading and studying the Bible.

The Bible’s Call To Action – why our Bible reading shouldn’t stop at reading, but go forward into action.

Praying

How to Make A Prayer Diary – do you ever wonder how you can possible pray for all the people you feel you should? This will help you to make it a reality.

How To Pray More Effectively – some reasons why a prayer diary can be so helpful.

Prayer Changes Things! – a big reason why we don’t pray is our lack of faith that it actually does anything! Here are some reasons why we should pray, to get you motivated.

The Effect of Sin on Our Prayers – how holding on to sin can affect our prayers.

Dwelling in The Secret Place – thoughts on praying without ceasing.

3 Prayers to Help You Share The Gospel – do you struggle with witnessing to unbelievers? These 3 prayers can help you before you even go anywhere.

I hope you have found something to be helpful in these posts. God bless you in the New Year!

Linking up to Missional Women, Fellowship Friday

The post 15 Posts on Quiet Times, Bible Reading & Prayer appeared first on Motivated By Jesus.