Living With Cesar

Sorry / Happy 30th Birthday!

2010-05-05T09:17:00.008-05:00

I have been gone for so long! I have been homeless since my parents officially kicked me and Cesar out on the streets. They had also turned my phone off, I wasn't sure why they did that until I called my mom about it. She had told me that Cesar had ran the phone bill up AGAIN! He wont stop calling girls in Mexico or wherever the hell is calling them at. I am so pissed about this. He wont stop calling them! I haven't stopped crying since my mom told me he had been calling her again.
We have been living with his cousin Ortencio, which I HATE living there! None of them speak English and I obviously don't speak enough Spanish in order to have a conversation with any of them. I felt so alone until last night when I bursted into tears over the fact of hating that I was living in a roach infested house. Yesterday they even had a wild bird fly into the house. You know a house is unclean when rodents infest the surround areas. I tried to restart their Direct TV box but when I opened the back part ROACHES flowed out of it as if it was a river of roaches which is so disgusting. I am a somewhat clean freak, in the senses that bugs are a definite no no when it comes my home. I hate bugs and rodents, they are so ewww!

Oh this is a piece of my cute luggage.

This was the video I took Sunday, May 2nd, 2010!

Yes today is Cesar's 30th birthday. I am very angry with him but maybe I shouldn't mention anything to him because no one wants bad news on their birthday. I am on the borderline of leaving Cesar and never talking to him again. Anyways back to his birthday. Today is also Cinco De Mayo! Which is rather weird to meet, and actually date a guy that has his birthday on a huge Mexican holiday especially when hes from Mexico. I'm not really sure how to celebrate his birthday since I still don't have a job and I really wanted to do something special for him since 30 is one of the big birthdays. Its a shame that he has to work on his birthday, I'm sure hes not working too hard since most of the calls he had made to that slut were during the day while he was "working". Sorry that I keep going back to that subject its just really bothering me right now. I'm sure its normal to be angry when someone is cheating on you, well calling other girls/boys or whatever and spending more time talking to them than they had ever talked to you. He knows what he did was wrong but he is far from sorry. I don't think he cares at all that he hurts me emotionally.

I Miss Those Days

2010-04-30T15:46:00.004-05:00

You probably remember the days when you first started dating your new boyfriend/girlfriend whichever the case may be with you. The days where you couldn't wait to get that phone call from them or even see them maybe at school, work, or wherever you use to meet up at. You melted when you shared your first kiss with them and their arms wrapped around you couldn't ever be to tight and you just never wanted to let them go. I just wish it would have never ended. Unfortunately the longer you date the more you find yourself into some kind of stupid argument. Its never normally anything serious but when it is and you make up it just doesn't ever feel the same as it use to. I just I could go back to the days where Chuck E. Cheeses was just the highlight of our day and drawing on each other with Sharpe's was just part of the daily criteria. But the beginning of my relationship was a lot different than most seeing as he had a long distance relationship with some girl in Texas that he had been talking to for over 6 months which was heart braking for me. I do realise that I complain a lot in my blog and it always seems like I'm bipolar or something since I go from being completely made one day to all sunshine and rainbows the next but no matter what I say on here my heart will never heal from the wounds he has caused me emotionally from the stupid dating sites he visits and the girls he constantly calls. I just don't want to let him go and be alone forever. He does have his good days its just his bad days shine brighter.

Binge Eater Alert!

2010-04-30T15:21:00.003-05:00

I think I have an eating disorder. I have all the symptoms of binge eating which is a serious eating disorder. I mean all of the eating disorders are serious thats not what I was saying just in case one of my readers get offended. I want to get treatment for my disorder I just don't know where to start. I wonder if it woud even help? Should I waste my time? Do I really have this eating disorder or is it something else? My questions are endless and I'm not going to bore you with all of them.

Symptoms:

•binge eat more than twice a week for 6 months or more
•eat much more rapidly than normal
•eat until uncomfortably full
•eat large amounts of food even when not hungry
•eat alone because of embarrassment
•feel disgusted, depressed, embarrassed, ashamed, angry, or guilty after a binge eating episode
•gain weight excessively

I have highlighted the ones that fit my case. As you can see I highlighted 80% of the list which isn't a good thing for me.

The "Perfect" Apartment

2010-04-26T21:14:00.002-05:00

Okay... I have found out that this does not exsist! Oh by the way you have noticed theres no picture in this blog post, mainly because there wasn't anything that just went with it. Sorry if this blog dosen't make any sense at all its mainly because my adhd is acting up due to no medication in like forever. Anyways lets try to stay on topic! Oh my gawd I am so hungry now, sorry commercial on t.v. makes me hungry sometimes. Back to the apartment stuff. I have been searching for the "perfect" apartment but it seems like everytime we get a heads up we get knocked right back down. Cesar also had an offer for a house that had 4 bedrooms 2 baths but thats just too much and the guy wanted Cesar to work for him 3 days a week in order to pay it off.

Cute Outfit!

2010-04-22T15:15:00.003-05:00

I just love this outfit! Thought I should share =)

Actually Excited

2010-04-22T14:28:00.003-05:00

Romantic Snow Globes by WiddlyTinks.com
I got bored and made this cute litte globe. Anyways back to business. We have to be moved out in less than two weeks so we are packing our stuff up (my parents are mad that I'm moving with him) I guess it was their attempt of breaking us up and thats just rude. We are going to be apartment hunting with his brother next week and hopefully we find something. This morning I woke up to my mom nagging about my fiance using my car to GO TO WORK! Wow hes such a bad person. My mom is being ridiculous and just wants to find something to complain about. I guess thats why Cesar is constantly wanting to stay out late ... well until we know they are asleep anyways and he leaves before my mom gets up. He truely hates her and I reay am starting to hate her. I never knew I could actually hate a family member but she dosen't like Cesar because of some stupid stuff he had done in the past, he was sorry for it and its done and over but she dosen't let ANYTHING go! That is what pisses me off the most.

I Hate My Parents!

2010-04-21T12:11:00.003-05:00

Thought I should start out with a cute video before I get into the long story of why I hate my step parents right now. Anyways back to hating them... they have decided to give us two weeks to pack our stuff and move out or they will put our stuff on the curb. I have no idea what their problem is, they use to be so helpful but lately they could careless if we are homeless and starving to death. I swear that they hate us back or something. Anyways we are apartment hunting along with his brother and they have decided to make me the stay at home wife while they work. I don't really mind that since I will get to focus on starting a family. Also I've had another issue since I've been sick which is that I can't eat anymore, I try to and I just can't its like my body hates food now. I don't even like drinking sodas just water, can having a stomach virus previously turn you anorexic? I have no idea hopefully it can't and I'll get back my appetite (just not too much of it hehe).

So Angry

2010-04-19T12:21:00.003-05:00

I hate Cesar! I found out that hes been calling girls in Mexico. I confronted him about it and admitted to doing so and said that he only called them because he was bored. In my opinion that isn't a good reason. Most girls would dump a guy that called other girls but I'm trying to learn not to be so jealous. I mean those girls are all the way in Mexico and I'm here so I have the upper hand. But I also do have the right to cry about it. I hate crying and I never use to cry before I started dating. Men have changed me for the bad. Also I have been sick this weekend and today. I felt horrible yesterday, I couldn't even WALK! I had overdosed on my insilin in order to try to kill myself but all it did was make my entire body hurt... it even hurt to pee! Anyways I'm going into too many details and you probablly don't really care about it.

Thought I Should Share My Laughter

2010-04-17T11:09:00.002-05:00

One of my friends on facebook has made a remake of this video. It is hilarious, or maybe its just me. I have a weird since of humor though. I hope you enjoy this.

What You Need To Know

2010-04-17T08:57:00.004-05:00

Its amazing what you can find out about your blog from other websites. I would have never guessed that I talk more than most bloggers online. I wonder if thats a good or bad thing. Also my backspace is starting to stick and its driving me insane! I hate when the keys on my keyboard stick its just so annoying. Also I didn't realise that I had cussed or used foul language in my blog until I put it on a website for them to grade my vulgar activity but it isn't that bad. Most people online are over 13 anyways.

89%

Thursday Cuteness: Singing Child

2010-04-15T22:49:00.003-05:00

Someone had posted this on my facebook, thought it was funny so I decided to share with you all.

Senior Pictures

2010-04-15T15:32:00.004-05:00

I didn't graduate last year and since I just started this blog not long ago I thought I should go ahead and post these before they get too old. I was a Junior in high school when I took these. I think they are pretty good pictures of me. I do kinda wish that I was skinnier in the pictures. When your in high school you think your going to have the perfect body since the students in the flyers do. I wish that I could lose weight but for some reason I just can't stop eating.

Sex Survey 18+ Please

2010-04-14T15:07:00.000-05:00

Funny sex. Created by ucmeontv and taken 58 times on Bzoink
Are you ready for this?:	Yes
Are you sure?:	Yes
What would you do if you partner asked you to please them with a cheeto?:	Look at them like wtf
Where is the crazyest place you have had sex?:	On the beach, Panama City Beach
Would you have sex in a church? :	Probablly not
If so when you got done would you pray for forgiveness?:	I said I wouldn't
Have you ever slept wid a crackhead?:	I don't think so
Do you like pickles so much that you would masterbate with one or two?:	No
If your partner smelled bad in a certain area would you spray Febreze?:	Lol I would tell them to take a bath
If so What scent would you use?:	Wouldn't
Do you like mad monkey sex?:	No, What is it?
What is your wildest fantasy?:	Too kinky to share
What is your favorite toy?:	Blue Rabbit
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Weird and Long Survey

2010-04-14T15:02:00.000-05:00

weird and long survey Created by native-brat7 and taken 256 times on Bzoink
whats up?:	Nothing I guess
what are you doing this very moment?:	Watching Shrek The Third
how old are you?:	19
whats your name?:	Delilah
do you like watchin tv?:	Love it
do you have alot of friends?:	Some what
are you bored right now?:	Solem
what time is it?:	almost 3
are you happy?:	not really
have you ever watched MAD MONEY?:	I don't remember
do you like taking surveys?:	sometimes
so far on a scale of 1 to 10 how is my survey?:	1
when is your b-day?:	June 5th
do you like to meet new people?:	yeah sometimes
would you be my friend?:	maybe, if your cool
can you add me as a friend?:	nope
awsome you are cool arent you?:	very.. im so awesome
i think you are
have you ever made a survey?:	no
if you could go back in time where would you go?:	when my dad died
what is your favorite color?:	blue
if you had 10,000 right now what would you do with it?:	get an apartment and give rest of it to my sisters
what kind of car do you own?:	aerio suzuki and spyder eclipse
are you an artist?:	no
can you cook?:	a little
are you sitting down right now?:	yes
do you need to have a bedtime story read 2 you?:	no
is it night or day time right now?:	day
do you have a laptop or a regular computer?:	laptop
are you mad?:	no
rate my survey again!!!! 1 to 10:	1
do you like spongebob squarepants?:	yes
do you like football?:	yes
is your best friend a boy?:	no
do you like him?:	yes
do you like horses?:	yes
do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:	yes
do you have a myspace?:	yes
do you have msn?:	yes
do you have a cell phone?:	yes
if so, who was the last person that called you?:	Chris
who was the last person to text you?:	Pamela
what time is it now?:	3
have you ever played guitar hero?:	no
have you ever played halo?:	no
what level are you on, on guitar hero?easy/medium/hard/expert?:	never played
do you own alot of dvd's?:	no
do you have any tattoo's?:	no
where/what of?:	i said no
how much money do you have right now?:	$1
do you smoke?:	no
do you drink?:	yes
do you prefer hot dogs or hamburgers?:	hamburgers
coke or pepsi?:	pepsi
are you smart?:	some people think so
what grade are you in?:	working on my ged
what question are you on?:	this one
what time is it?:	3:01
your almost done!!
you done
shower @ night or in the morning?:	both
do you floss?:	yes
have any pets?:	yes
do you want to have kids in the future?:	yes
what would you name them?:	Ethan
if a boy?:	Ethan
girl?:	Janice Marie
YOUR DONE YIPPI!!!!
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My Sisters

2010-04-13T19:28:00.005-05:00

I would have added this pictures yesterday but I had to send these pictures one by one to my facebook and then add them to my computer and then upload them onto Slide. So well anyways here are rest of the photos. I normally take more pictures but like I said before we had a blast and all I really cared about was seeing them and getting to know them. I might be officially moving down there if Cesar finds work down there. My plan was for him to work with Pamela's boyfriend but they got into it but thats none of our business so thats all I'm going to say about that.

They Found Me!

2010-04-12T22:46:00.004-05:00

Above is the picture of me and my sister, Pamela. Yeah, I didn't realise this day would ever come either. I had always wondered what happened to her and my other sister Tiffany. They had been worried about me for years and we haven't seen each other in over 15 years! That is forever! I spent yesterday and all day today with them which is why I didn't blog yesterday. Sorry, family comes first for me. I am planning on going back to see them Thursday if I can get enough money to go which most likely I will even if I have to beg for money because once I got there and got over the tears of finally finding the only family I have I really didn't want to leave ever. I am actually thinking about moving down there with them so I wont ever be away from them again. It would break my heart if I ever was taken away from them again.

Chicken & Egg Festival

2010-04-10T17:57:00.003-05:00

Here are a few pictures from the festival I went to today. I didn't take many since I was busy trying to enjoy myself. I got insanely sun burned because I thought I was pretty much invincible and can take the sun head on... WRONG! I guess I will have to suffer from my stupidity for the next two weeks. Hopefully you'll enjoy these photos. Sorry I don't have much to talk about. Not much happened at the festival except for music, free stuff for the kids (including flowers, games, balloons, face painting, ect), food, and of course lots of junk you don't need to waste your money on.

Clothes for School

2010-04-09T17:05:00.003-05:00

Well first of all I can not afford any of these right now but if I could I would buy these outfits because I think they are so cute. I of course put them together, they came from different websites but they all are my size which is good for me. I am in fact starting GED classes April 19th and I'm so excited. I am finally getting my life in order which is great for me and Cesar. I will hopefully get a great job from getting my GED. I might even retake my ACT and go to college. Who knows what will happen after I finally get my GED. Anyways, I'm hoping that either Cesar or my parents will pitch in to help me afford some new clothes. I always use to get new clothes when I started school so why should now be any different? I want a fresh start and that includes new clothes.

Redneck Weekend

2010-04-08T19:23:00.003-05:00

When I say redneck I mean we celebrate chickens and their eggs by having egg toss, chicken wing eating contests, and of course bluegrass bands. I wanted something to do this weekend and my best friend Melissa invited me to the Chicken and Egg Festival. I have never been before so I was curious to what it was exactly about so I went to google and looked it up and wow. I have attached some videos from their youtube account so you'll know exactly what I am talking about.

Thursday Cuteness

2010-04-08T15:49:00.003-05:00

I have decided that I wanted to do themed days during the week, especially when I have nothing else to write about. Since today has been very boring and I slept through most of the day and now Cesar and I aren't doing anything since we spent all our gas money -pouts-. I thought this video was so cute so hopefully you will enjoy it too. I also saw it on tosh.o.

Day At The Park

2010-04-07T18:49:00.004-05:00

As I said before NOTHING will make this day horrible and so far nothing has so yay for me! We both needed some fresh air so decided to take a walk in the park. I have never been happier in my life. Some of these pictures make me feel as if I'm a photographer lol. I think I take pretty good pictures for an amateur. Just like everything else, I took LOTS of pictures since taking pictures reminds me of the memories I want to remember.

More Pictures & B-Day Invite 50th Post!

2010-04-07T13:46:00.004-05:00

I seem to of took alot of pictures today so I guess I'll just go ahead and put them up before I forget about them. I love taking pictures of everything!

Oh I also finally got my invitation to my little second cousins birthday party, hes turning one! Hes so adorable.

I would also like to announce that this is my 50th post. I am so proud of myself lol. I didn't realise I had that much to write about... guess I did.

My Scrapbook (Real)

2010-04-07T13:38:00.004-05:00

Back in Elementary School

Me & Melissa

When I Was Younger

Little Me lol

Very Young Me

What a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L Day!

2010-04-07T13:08:00.003-05:00

What an amazing Alabama sky! It was amazing beautiful outside today and since I didn't have a car to go anywhere (since Cesar took it and all) so I just decided to go outside.

The grass needs to be cut but the flowers are blooming. Even the weeds seem beautiful today, maybe it's just me. I'm just in such a good mood today, not for any particular reason just happiness. It seems as if nothing will make me in a bad mood. I enjoy being happy every once in awhile and this is just the perfect day.

My mom will probably "kill" me for blowing these into the air since she hates them but part of spring is blowing dandelions. There is just something magical about the whole idea and just makes me feel all warm inside.

GED Classes

2010-04-06T19:21:00.003-05:00

I've decided to finally go ahead and get my GED. I can't seem to find a job without a high school diploma, even my mom said it would be nearly impossible when I first started looking for a job. I guess if I really want a job I need to do the basis first which includes getting my high school diploma, well GED. I am rather excited on getting it but it's been over a year since I left school so I don't think I should just take it blind sided. I've decided to take classes to study for it so I won't just be wasting my money when I finally do go in and take it. I kinda felt like I fit in when I went to the college campus to find out information today and that was a great feeling, well something I haven't felt in a while.