Living With UC (Ulcerative Colitis)

Update: Alprazolam, Prednisone, and a Mild Stroke

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 14:56:00 +0000

Entry 24:Wednesday

Time for an update, to say the least since I haven't posted for about two months. Lot's has happened since my last post but I'll try to capsulize on it. First, for my health update, I had a good run of no serious bouts after having been on the prednisone for two months. Just a few episodes here and there. The combination of prednisone and alprazolam seemed to be working out for me until I ran out of alprazolam without a prescription for a refill and no insurance. I went 4 days without it and was sick as a dog.

Aprazolam is one of the medications you HAVE to taper off of. I didn't realize that I was running out of predinisone as fast as I was so I cut the dosage in half, not knowing if I would be able to pay for the office visit and exam I knew I would have to have in order to get my prescriptions. Big mistake. I basically put my body through a very dangerous process while my system was trying to adjust to the change in the dosage. I ended up in emergency with a mild stroke. Prednisone affects the adrenaline gland and I was informed that I could have suffered adrenaline shock which is a very serious problem. Thank God I went in when I did.

The combination of going cold turkey off of Alprazolam (Zanax) and reducing the Prednisone without seeing a doctor and gradualy being taken off under the care of a physician could have more disastrous. The ER doctor tapered me off the Prednisone and gave me a prescription for Asacol, and refilled the Alprazolam because it seemed to help me with stress and anxiety, which in turn helps with my colon problems. I am in the process of tapering off the Alprazolam however, because I just don't want to take anything that could make you feel that bad if you run out.

I'm down to maybe one bout of diahrrea in a week and the cramping is not as bad, no vomiting and very few bouts of the Phantom Pain. I still have very little energy but I'm pushing past my symptoms and working more. My appetite varies, I gained a few pounds from the prednisone, and I'm just trying to keep a positive state of mind about all of it, thanking God daily for the healing that is taking place in my body. I believe I'm well on my way to remission. I'll continue the update in my next post and include some links to other important information I recieved about how prednisone works in the body. I didn't know that it can weaken the immune system, which is already a problem for UC sufferers, but the advantages of how the medication works against inflamation outweighs the effect on the immune system, and it also depends on the state of your immune system. That's it for now. I'm working today so I'll finish the update later.

DAILY CARTOON
click to enlarge

Cartoons by Andertoons

PATIENCE

Irwindale Speedway Demolition Derby August 4th: Watch My Neighbor Go!

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:52:00 +0000

I know you're wondering what in the world is she posting this for? Well, this is my neighbor Richard driving in the Irwindale Speedway Demolition Derby. He's driving car #91. Richard and Mel are my neighbors that are always looking out for me. THESE ARE NOT THE NEIGHBORS WITH THE BARKING DOG!! They are two of the kindest people I've met in a very long time. Mel is always checking to see if I need some ginger ale to settle my stomach for instance, and I love the days when we would sit outside and talk and she'd just let me vent or make me laugh or offer me a glass of merlot to relax me... Richard is the same way and very funny. He's also like "The Protector" of us ladies here when the "Colon In The Hood" episodes were taking place. So take a minute and watch Richard in the demolition derby, he put that BMW together right out in back and of course me and my creative side is just amazed!

BTW, the neighbors with the barking dog have moved.

PATIENCE

Update

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 02:53:00 +0000

Entry Twenty Two: Sunday

My update for this past week has been slow coming because one of my nephews passed away. R.I.P. Damien. He was a very special young man which was also evident by the number of young adults that were present for his memorial as well as representatives from the staff at his school in Culver City CA that paid tribute to the impact he had on both students and faculty and his participation in sports and other school and community related activities.

It seems inappropriate to go into a lot of detail about my symptoms over the past week because I'm just thankful for the time that I have with my family and friends and the opportunity to try to make something I do in each day count. Death
is always stressful and would affect a healthy individual physically, and I had some painful days but overall, I'm doing better than I was when I started this blog.

I found a site that is fairly informative on UC without you having to click from link to link... a very "reader friendly" site, not to complicated in terminology, and covers just about everything. It's called UP TO DATE PATIENT INFORMATION: ULCERATIVE COLITIS. If you need info on specific symptoms, this is a good resource.

The writings of Matthew McDonald have also been especially inspirational for me. He has a blog called "My Thought For Today " and I recommend it highly as a daily inspirational reading to promote health and healing.

If you like music and it helps you to relax, Last.FM is a good site to check out. My music contribution for this week is the Last.FM Widget that is an open source music gadget that plays your favorite genres of music based on your preferences and what you listen to most on your computer.

These are the widgets:

DAILY CARTOON
click to enlarge

Cartoons by Andertoons

PATIENCE

Feeling Better And Booking Sy Smith

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 15:14:00 +0000

Entry Twenty One: Sunday

Here's a quick post with a cute widget I found where I can list bookings for Sy Smith dates. You can grab this widget and post it if you are a Sy Smith fan. If you're a performer you can get your own widget for posting your performances and calendar. So this is my techy contribution for this month for music lovers. By the way, besides the steroid based meds I'm taking, the addition of Alprazolam has helped with stress and I'm sleeping better, and I haven't had any attacks in 7 days! Blessings and Peace.

A Quantum Principle, Infinity, Now Get A Bible!

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 09:39:00 +0000

Entry Twenty: Monday

I've been missing in action for several reasons. For one, I've had quite a few very painful episodes, and for my UC readers, this particular flare up has been more persistant symptomatically. I've gotten search inquiries about nausea, lack of energy, abdominal pain, vomitting and other common UC symptons. The links I've posted have very helpful information in them and also will lead you to alternative treatments that have proven to be successful, if you have the time to research some of the case studies. I'm still monitoring my meals and I've eliminated any foods rich in dairy, chocolate, and too much roughage.

I understand that the inflamation in the colon lining alone is enough to trigger the symptons, and getting that under control is a key factor. Following the treatment method that works for you is vital, particularly if you can identify other elements such as foods and environment, and perhaps even anything that would cause uneccessary stress in your daily existence. Lowering my stress levels alone over the past few weeks have resulted in noticable improvement for me over the course of a day. I personally have looked to scriptures on peace, health, inner spiritual strength, and the power of saying exactly what I expect and want in the area of my health, believing that God as the creator of my body continues this creative miracle in us daily, when we draw on our ability to seek out all that we can about Him and what He created us for. Ulcerative Colitis is not on the list of what I was created for!

We have different ways of making these affirmations, I choose to go with God on it, and the scriptures in the Bible. I mean, come on... even if you didn't believe in what's written in the Bible, and that's why you don't read it, you should give it the same shot that you give any other book that causes you to rise up above your way of viewing an illness. If nothing else, the information in the Bible has been around a whole lot longer. I'm telling you, it works. One day you're going to come to this blog and read that I am no longer diagnosed with UC. Remember, our doctors and their knowledge and gift to practice medicine are also God's gift to us, for healing in the body, but also try to remember that the disease does not own you. It is an unwelcome invader.

There is a law in quantum physics that states that there is "effect without cause". We're all familiar with "cause and effect". Disease is common everywhere, and we also accept the disease as "our' disease. Mine. My own. When an ememy invades territory that is not rightfully it's own, but with the intent to and instruction to conquer it, and therefore take control of it, that is somewhat how disease takes over in the body. There is infinity, and then there is nothing that can be defined as "beyond" infinity. The keyword here is "nothing". Nothing else. Even infinity exists as an "effect without cause" if you will. It is therefore possible that beyond our human physical reaction to "cause and effect" that result in disease, there is also within each of us that part in which we exist in infinity, where the principle of "effect without cause" is in operation. The term that you will probably relate to the most without me getting into some scientific explantion and lingo is what most of us look at as being something that is "spiritual", or that which is life and existence without being what we deem as being a form of matter that is solid and visual to us, both with our natural eyes and cutting edge technology. Bare with me, I'm painting this picture for a reason in hopes that it will help in your recovery.

Because something is primarily unseen, does not mean it does not exist. There is a passage in the Bible that states that" the things that are seen are made up of things that are unseen". When you "spiritualy" begin to excersise your will, the same as you do daily in choices and decisions you make, in the things you choose, in the things you say "I will do" and you do them, this spritual principal is the same when put into action, or shall I say, when YOU "effect" without any "cause" that you could possibly define or contain in your human mindset, the behavior of a disease. This is the spritual principal of an Infinite Creator Undefinable beyond human understanding, effecting without cause (there is no beginning to Him) the healing or "recreation" taking place in your physical body, as you "will it" spiritually in your ability to choose to do so... demonstrating faith that healing of the disease will take place. Now, this, I choose as my highest spiritual affirmation knowing. I cannot just think it. It is must be as certain as a "knowing".

Now, you might say okay, where is all this coming from now? It's not new for me, you just don't know all the areas in my life where this has been tried and proven, or the fact that I would have died a couple of times, or that I was diagnosed not so long ago with Ovarian Cancer, which I no longer have, and a list of other life experiences I intend to share as I continue to blog and post a plethera of helpful links.

I worked this weekend, by the way. I performed in a show that is a TRIBUTE TO LUTHER VANDROSS

CHUMASH CASINO RESORT

Check out this video: Promo Video

Add to My Profile | More Videos

The show is great by the way and the CHUMASH RESORT is a beautiful great location if you're in Southern CA and need a nice peaceful getaway and only want to travel a scenic short distant up the 101 Frwy. Now, the day before, I couldn't even get out of bed, had terrible abdominal pain, vomitting, and had to cancel an AFTRA/SAG job I had been called to tape for television that day, and in my natural state of thinking I couldn't believe that I could actually make it without canceling, mainly because of the extrememe pain I was in. Then my good friend Olivia McClurkin called me and reminded me what my affirmation should be, what my words should be about how I was feeling, what I know I spiritually have a right too in God in terms of my health, and she reminded me that it was total healing.

I got up, made the necessary preparations, ended up in Santa Barbara from Friday evening until Sunday night, not only rehearsing and performing the show, but without a single incident of any UC symptons. Now that may not mean much to anyone reading this, but for me, and my reference of the severe pain I've experienced for the last two months, it is a miracle. Now, for the flip side. When i returned home, and allowed myself to stress over some unpleasant news I received, that sent me catapulting back into some depression, doubt, fear, worry, anger, agrevation, general pissed offness, nothing even vaguely resembling anything "positive" or "spiritual" in my relationship with God, I immediately began to experience some pain. I gotta tell you, I got rid of that situation so fast you would have thought that I could blink and make stuff dissapear. I blinked alright. Closed my eyes and said a prayer, connecting with all that I understand about the spiritual principles of God, which are deeper than I can actually post in this one blog right now, and the pain was gone.

I continued with my evening at home, continued to follow my doctors orders and prescriptions because we have to use wisdom until wisdom let's you know you don't need the medication anymore because you don't have the dis-ease anymore!

So next time you're out buying something to read, looking for info on UC, or getting the latest self help book, or popular new "Natural Way Of Healing" reading material, Get a Bible. Read it. It's still the number one selling book of all time. (That is a true statistic... check it out).

Note to the reader: Please feel free to email me for any scriptural references on the subject of health, healing, medicine, or any subject matter posted in my blog that may be of interest to you.

DAILY CARTOON
click to enlarge

Cartoons by Andertoons

PATIENCE

Whitney Houston - And I Am Telling You Medley

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 15:27:00 +0000

Entry Nineteen: Tuesday

And then of course, there's Whitney Houston. UC or no UC, I did get to see this performance :-)

PATIENCE

And I Am Telling You Again... Lakesha Jones

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 15:24:00 +0000

The other great thing for me personally was the fact that Lakesha, who has a heartfelt respect and admiration for both Ms Holiday and Ms Hudson attended her first BET Awards Show and got to watch them both perform this song live. The newest comer to attempt this song, not too many singers can even go there... Lakesha did a great job!

PATIENCE

And I Am Telling You...

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 15:19:00 +0000

Entry Eighteen: Tuesday

The 2007 BET Awards! This is one of those events that I couldn't attend because of what's going on with my health and UC right now (extremely painful day) ... I was invited to attend and I really wanted to go to this one, for sentimental reasons of my own. Besides, I had heard about Beyonce's performance and that it would be off the chain, and that the Diana Ross Tribute was going to be great, and it was. If there's one thing that makes me forget about how I feel, it's great music and great singing. I know both of these ladies in the video and I gotta tell you, this performance will go down in history as legendary for so many "behind the scenes reasons". Jennifer Holiday and Jennifer Hudson BET 2007 Awards.

PATIENCE

Whitney South Africa: Surviving Tour and Work

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 10:02:00 +0000

Entry Seventeen: Monday
Not going to rant this time. Been working on some business and planning so I can get on track with the business of music. Had a decent day, nothing to painful but the fatigue is difficult to deal with when my mind and my spirit feels like it can do what it's always had the energy or ability to do... my body just wont follow.

I've taken my colon on the road many times throughout my career, to many countries and regions. I wish my family and my friends had been able to fully recognize the sacrifice this took on my part because as glamorous and exciting as it may sound and look to them, It's very different when you're traveling like that and your health problems evolve around food, environment, sensitivity to various climates and foliage, yet your going to places where regionally, the elements you're going to be exposed to are quite different to what your physiology has acclaimated to in the States. "There are some things that one cannot have a reference for in the absence of that precise experience." (PH Balanced Quotes)

"The support of family and friends is key to a persons ability to cope with any Chronic illness. A support system is a necessity and a blessing" I could have just as easily given up and changed my occupation to become a stay home mom, but let's be honest... "giving up" is what it would have come down to, and there were many conversations with my mom where I wanted to do just that. On the other hand, the pay was great while it lasted :-)

From bacterial growths to viral strains, micro organism vary and change as you travel around the globe. I've flown around the world three times, so I'm sure my collection have all had to learn a second language just to co-exist in my body. I wonder if I had any terrorist micro organism? I’m sure I got some suicide bombers down in the Colital region settin’ off methane vapors, causing mass destruction immediately after it’s airborne! The ones I picked up in Italy were the kindest to me. Nothing I ate there made me sick! However, London? Ended up at the hospital, but at least there, you can get medical attention and the royal palace pays for it. Imagine that! Health care for everyone provided by government! Including travelers! I was stunned when they said it was no charge!

I've lost count of how many times I've been to some places, but the craziest thing I saw that just tripped me out was in Paris and I looked at the digital alarm clock and it was exactly 00:00 oclock! It was "no" oclock! Nobody ever told me about No oclock! Then it was No 05! Me and my friend Olivia thought we were in the twilight zone. By the way, you should read Olivia's story about her battle with cancer... amazing and inspiring, a modern day miracle of God. She is the greatest inspiration in my life next to God and my Mom when it comes to faith in my healing. Olivia is a recording artist with "The McClurkin Family and her current solo CD is titled "Olivia McClurkin - The Healing Song. Here's her link:

Olivia McClurkin

Here's some footage of us with Whitney Houston in South Africa for the HBO Special. My colon was part of a history making event... the first de-segregated concert in South Africa after they abolished aparthied. Whitney Houston was an ambassador representing the USA for this historic event, and she did it royally! It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. There were more government agents, FBI, security, South African security carrying weapons visibly, for fear that a racial riot could occur.

There were 80,000 + people who gathered for this event, whites and Africans who had never been aloud to sit in the same sections, let alone sit or stand side by side together down front near the stage! During one of the sound checks, a light blew out on the set with a loud bang and pop... you talk about people hitting the floor at lightning speed! In a matter of seconds, there were at least 50 soldiers and FBI personnel on the stage rushing us off to a safety area and the whole place was locked down with precision speed. We were held in a room until they had searched the entire park for anyone who should not be there, bombs, anything that could go boomb! My colon lost it's mind and I just had to bear with it and do my job. I couldn't eat very much there, I was sick most of the time, but hey! I was in the mother land and I intended to enjoy every second I could, and did.

When I returned to America, my doctor said I needed to take a year off or I could be really physically ill. It takes about a year for your body to rid itself of bacteria it picks up from other countries from the amount of time I was in Africa, but I couldn't just take off for a year. I was a single parent. I had to work. Oh yeah! We went out into the bush too on safari... me and my colon out in the wild. I'm glad I did it. Wouldn't do anything differently :-)

I chose this video first because it shows the audience and you can see all the different tribes and races partying together... it was a real life mission of peace and love. Background Singers: Olivia McClurkin is on your right, I'm in the center (Pattie Howard), and Alfie Durio is on your left. Alfie Durio and I began singing together as teens. She is also an amazing singer, and you've heard her on so many recordings, I couldn't even list them. She now has her own ministry and travels the world with her testimony and singing. Here's a link to her site:

Alfie Silas Durio

Whitney Houston South Africa Tour - "My Name Is Not Susan"

DAILY CARTOON
click to enlarge

Cartoons by Andertoons

PATIENCE

Ranting With My UC

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 11:26:00 +0000

Entry Sixteen: Sunday

What's causing me to feel so crappy now? Is it the UC? Is it Irritable Bowel Disease? IBS? Spastic Colon? Is it Arthritis? Epstein Barr? Chronic Fatigue? Chrones? Lyme Disease? Diverticulitis? Hypoglycemia? Shall I go on? This is the short list of things I've been told I have over the last seven - ten years! I'm gettin' pissed! As soon as I think I'm getting out of the bed, another wave of something comes along!

All week long I've been experiencing symptoms that could be blamed on any of the above and then on Friday, the pain, diarrhea and vomiting all at once again. If I wasn't in my right mind, I think I would just go postal! Alright Pattie... just calm down.... take some deep breaths... "No- body knows~~~ da trouble I seen~~~~ Mmmm~~~~ mmmm~~~~mmm~~~ (negro spiritual humming indicating suffering).

By the way, my birth certificate says "Negro". Anybody else out there got "Negro on their certificate? Perhaps this is the problem! And what the heck is my vaccination doing in my left upper thigh? Was I part of a test group for Vaccination experimentation? Why is mine there and the rest of my family's in their left upper arm? Per chance is this the problem? (Give me a minute...) and exactly whose uncle is "Sam" and are his descendants responsible for all the missing health insurance? "Colin Powell" sound like a growth in the intestines. My mother's birth certificate says "Colored". My daughters says "Black". Are there "African American" birth certificates now? Will the next ones say "Race: Neo Soul"? Where's my Uterus? Huh? How do ya shoot JFK and Dr. King and leave Bush runnin' around? By some small degree of possible cause, could this be the reason for my flare up?

Okay. I'm done now. Here's some more UC tips. "I'm gonna go lay down my burdens~~~ down by the riverside~~~~~

James 5:15
And the prayer of faith shall save the sick" James 5:14-16 (in Context) James 5 (Whole Chapter)

Each individuals pattern of symptoms is different, and conscientious doctors treat the symptoms rather than the laboratory or radiological signs.

Diarrhea, pain, and fever - along with fatigue, chills, and possibly vomiting - come and go. Flare-ups can occur seemingly out of the blue, after a viral illness such as a cold, or at times of extreme personal, business, or social stress.

DAILY CARTOON
click to enlarge

Cartoons by Andertoons

PATIENCE

Wherever I Am, There My Colon Is

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 09:51:00 +0000

Entry Fifteen: Tuesday

"Good days and some bad days"... today is a bad day. I hereby give myself permission to not feel guilty about saying it's a bad day. There is a scripture where Paul is saying, "whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, of a good report, etc., think on these things", and then it goes on to say that the peace of God which passes all understanding will keep your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. Since it's such a bad day, I'm going to think on exactly what Paul wrote, and keep right on going. While I'm thinking on these things, you see, my colon has to follow along with me on that journey as well. Wherever I am, there my colon is :-)

I have to start blogging also about the other immune-related diseases that I have. It's important to understand how they interconnect and the problems you face when your immune system becomes your body's enemy.

Don't feel good enough to write alot so I did some reading and found some more great information to post and a couple of links for it. Check it out if it interests you. This one site called "My Innerstate" also offers a free informative DVD:

This is the company that sponsors the My Innerstate site:

CENTOCOR ROLLS OUT THE RED CARPET FOR PATIENTS WITH THE DOCUMENTARY INNERSTATE

Disease Awareness Makes Its Way to the Big Screen in First-of-Its-Kind Documentary

HORSHAM, Pa., February 14, 2007 – Centocor, Inc. is proud to announce the world premiere of INNERSTATE, a first-of-its-kind documentary providing insight into the “inner states” of three everyday adults facing chronic, life-altering inflammatory diseases. As they confront daily challenges and life’s experiences, they tell the emotional stories of their journeys toward living “normal” lives in a film that is sure to touch the hearts of all viewers, including the millions of Americans who suffer from these conditions. The premiere will take place on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 at the Directors Guild of America Theatre in New York.

“INNERSTATE traces the paths of three different people, as they transcend their diseases to find happiness, while learning the meaning of inner strength,.... ”

To see the rest of this article, click here

DAILY CARTOON
click to enlarge

Cartoons by Andertoons

PATIENCE

Circumstances Beyond My Colon

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 07:24:00 +0000

Entry Fifteen: Sunday

"Living with ulcerative colitis (UC) is not easy. You will have good days and bad days. Although it may not be easy, it is important to try to control your stress whenever possible and maintain a positive outlook". From Living With UC Website "Managing Stress With Ulcerative Colitis".

This has definitely been the challenge for me over the past week. With continuous problems with diarrhea and ongoing abdominal cramping everyday, it's been challenging for me to eat on a regular basis. I'm basically eating a soft diet primarily consisting of noodles and cooked vegetables. Tuna casserole has also been a helpful dish in the evenings. Now for the stress part.

Theres been an unbelievable amount of stress and tension in my building as the continuing saga of "Colon in the Hood" via my neighbors unfolds. The fighting escalated to criminal behavior that brought law enforcement officers to the building no less than 7 times since the last post. On one night in particular, there was the equivalent of 8 police cars in front of, near and on the property and a search of the neighborhood was in full force for the individual who assaulted the neighbor who was now sitting in the driveway bleeding. I think everyone, including myself had dialed 911. What is so crazy about all of this, besides the fact that it's even going on, is that this is not the norm at all for where I'm living.

My colon obviously had no business being anywhere near such a drastic situation, but due to circumstances beyond my colon, the victim showed up at my door only minutes before he was assaulted, so I had only gone to get my sneakers on when I heard the violence escalate. By the time I was out my door, the victim was bleeding from a stab wound, and the police are approaching me to ask me questions. Whew!!!! An ambulance pulled up and I just wanted them to put me in it and drive me and my colon as far away as possible. Now, no matter how much all of this disturbs other tenants in the building, the ONLY recourse we have is to call 911. Unless we are actually being physically threatened, attacked, or shot, we can not have our neighbors arrested, put out, restrained, or anything else according to an officer that we spoke with. As long as they are fighting among themselves, even if it spills out into our shared common area, there's nothing we can do, so little bursts of uproars continued for several days after that with the neighbors themselves calling the police on each other a few times.

" Some people report that stressful events precede a flare-up. This is probably because stress affects your body in many ways — most importantly, it decreases your resistance to inflammation. People with ulcerative colitis also report that they experience stress or anxiety as a result of ulcerative colitis symptoms."

I'm not wining here. I'm in a flare up that's being flared up by real stressful events while experiencing stress and anxiety as a result of the flare up! Geeesh! Now, every time I eat anything at all, I immediately feel the cramping and I'm having more diarrhea. As soon as I have some tests done coming up, I'm going to take a break somewhere away if I can. Oh yeah, the barking dog is now hoarse from all the barking she's had to do over the last week. I'm almost positive I heard her say "Help! Somebody get me out of this place! Please rescue me from here!". The other day, the dog just started cussin'.

If you have UC, it's imperative that you eliminate as much stress from your life as you can as it does contribute to ongoing inflamation. Here's some other info that I hope you will find helpful.

Get Educated
Sometimes a chronic illness can make you feel like your life is out of your control. One way to regain control is to learn everything you can about ulcerative colitis. By educating yourself, you will better understand what is going on in your body and be able to take an active role in your treatment.

Let It Out
You don’t have to be happy all the time. Sometimes it’s OK to feel sad or frustrated. So allow yourself a “bad” day once in a while. Then put those feelings aside and remember that even though ulcerative colitis is often unpredictable, people still live active, successful lives.

PATIENCE

Link

"Tuck And Roll" & "The Bathroom Pleading Prayer"

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 11:16:00 +0000

Entry Fourteen: Wednesday
I'm not going to even begin to try to catch up from my last post. I've been missing in action from this blog because I've had a rough time since I last posted. I haven't been eating much anyway. I've had a loss of appetite. I haven't deviated much from the usual meal routine though, so nothing new there, just less of it in portions.

The dizziness is back slightly and I'm still running a low grade temp on and off. I've had abdominal cramping everyday, some diarrhea, sharp pains in my lower abdomen, occassional nausea but no vomiting, and a sinus headache. I've been sleeping like crazy. On Tuesday morning, I woke up with the most horrific abdominal cramping that I've had in a long time. My symptons this time were different. I've never had this happen before. Usually, my stomach will cramp and then the trips to the restroom start. This time, I had severe cramping and it was happening in intervals similar to how labor pains come in intervals. Normally after a couple of times my body would eliminate whatever it needed to. This time, it just continued to severely cramp on and off from 9:15am to 11:30, acompanied by some shooting abdominal pains, waves of nausea, and the killer of them all, the "Phantom Pain!"

Yes, I had the freakin' Phantom Pain at the same time all this other stuff was going on! This has never happened. I was rolling around in my bed like a two year old with knees up to my chin almost, arms wrapped around my legs and chin tucked like I was preparing for the crash position on a plane. I don't know what it is about balling up that makes us think it's gonna feel better, but I remained a ball... well sometimes I did the other kid position where you get on your knees with your head down and stick your butt up in the air. For some reason only known by the authors of the laws of gravity, sticking your butt up in the air with your head down seems to cause the pain to ease up. I think it's "the shifting of weight and position of organs divided by the earths gravitational pull to the third power times the square root of the distance from the moon to your belly button" that does it. That's what I think. Whatever it is about that position, it works.

So I did that, alternating between tuck and roll vs. elevated buttocks until the rest of my body members voted unanimously that it was time to make a run for the border. Although my brain somewhat protested and said" call 911 and go back to emergency! I command you! I am the brain!" , my feet immediately disobeyed and ran me straight into the bathroom.

Now, unfortunately as human beings, you've all had a bout with some type of serial killer abdominal flu virus, or government approved food poisening. Thus and there with you are familiar with the "Bathroom Pleading Prayer" that takes place along with that... you know the one... don't you? Where you're sittin there and both ends are about to blow, and you're holding your stomache, you're gettin' light headed, sweat is startin' to pop out and you're rockin' back and forth? You know... that one? And the whole time you feel like you're dyin' and you're scared so you start prayin' and asking forgiveness for everything you did since you were born and you're pleadin' with God not to let you die right then? Huh? You know... the one where you're callin' on God and Jesus and the Holy Ghost and you're trying to remember how speakin' in toungues goes and you can't get your clothes off fast enough and you need a cold towel to put on your face and finally you just lay down in the floor? Still praying?
Yeah! That's the one I'm talkin' about!

Well, that's the one I had, only difference is since I go through it more often I have some prayer credits on automatic payment so all I have to do is the rocking back and forth thingy and just say Jesus every now and then! After all that pain, I just knew there had to be some bleeding or something, but to my surprise, and a good sign of things, I escaped the grips of death by elimination with no discoloration in the swirling waters that were plunging to the depths of Sheol (yes, again... I know I get carried away).

There's been an uprising in my bowels and my building since I last posted and the police have been here daily, sometimes more than once a day because the infamous "Neighbors with the Barking Dog" have now shifted into hyper drive and are fighting daily. I mean fightin' like they're rival gang members, except they all live in the same apartment. If it's possible to do a drive by in your living room, it'll probably happen next door. Anyway, the constant and frightening fighting has escalated to the point of physical bashing so my colon has been involved in some kinda "Boyz in the hood" type drama. Ha! That's funny... Colon In The Hood! This is a really great neighborhood, don't get me wrong. You can still go for a walk at night, and this building was peaceful. I'm gonna have to give my bowels a break and maybe go stay somewhere until the war dies down. I'm positive this has played a huge part in my excessive pain over the past few days.

You've been reading Colon Update with your host Patience . I think y'all are reading this, even though I don't have ONE SINGLE COMMENT ON MY PAGE YET!!!! Oooops. Unecessary emotional outburst... time to go.

PATIENCE

Link

"She's A Little Strange You Know..."

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 08:37:00 +0000

Entry Thirteen: Friday
Had to post this. At times over the course of my life, I've been told by well meaning friends and relatives, that my illness is all in my mind, I'm stressing over nothing, I'm strange because I stay to myself, I use sickness as an excuse to stay home... and these are some of the nicer comments. In the past it's been difficult for me to explain how I feel because I didn't understand most of my symptoms. I was also having so many different symptoms of several different medical problems. All I knew for sure was that food, people, preparing to leave my home for any reason, made me feel sick or anxious to one degree or another.

As outgoing and crazy as my friends know I am capable of being, I'm equally if not more introverted. Although UC is not responsible for all of my social behavior, it does play a significant role.

As a singer, I've toured with several artists to different countries. I was always the one that stayed in my hotel room while others went site seeing on days off. As as music producer, I spend long hours in the studio with a focus on guiding vocalist and musicians through the recording process. I'm not in a position to get a ferocious attitude about the fact that I don't feel good and can't let on that I'm in pain and I definitely can't go running to the bathroom in the middle of what could be the best performance of the recording session. So you just work sick, especially if you wanna keep feeding yourself and your family. When you can't work, it's devastating. Been there.

That being said, here's some info I found online that I hope will be helpful to anyone who has a loved one, friend or associate who suffers from UC, but you've decided they're just strange and a little mentally challenged.

From The Chrones & Colitis Foundation Of America

"Because body and mind are so closely interrelated, emotional stress can influence the course of ulcerative colitis -- or, for that matter, any other chronic illness. Although people occasionally experience emotional problems before a flare-up of their disease, this does not imply that emotional stress causes the illness."

"There is no evidence to show that stress, anxiety, or tension is responsible for ulcerative colitis. No single personality type is more prone to develop ulcerative colitis than others, and no one "brings on" the disease by poor emotional control."

"It is much more likely that the emotional distress that patients sometimes feel is a reaction to the symptoms of the disease itself. It is not surprising that some patients find it difficult to cope with a chronic illness. Such illnesses seem to pose a threat to their entire quality of life-their physical and emotional well-being, social functioning, and sense of self-esteem. People with ulcerative colitis should receive understanding and emotional support from their families and physicians."

"Coping techniques for dealing with ulcerative colitis may take many forms. Attacks of diarrhea, pain, or gas may make people fearful of being in public places."

"No one with ulcerative colitis should ever feel alone. As you go about your daily life as normally as possible, try pursuing some of the same activities that you did before your diagnosis. Some days, you may not feel up to it. Other days, you will want to give it all you've got. Only you can decide what's right for you. It will help to follow your physician's instructions and maintain a positive outlook, and to take an active role in your care. That's the basic (and best!) prescription."

For more info, check out The Chrones & Colitis Foundation Of America

PATIENCE

Link

You Go How Many Times A Day?

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 07:27:00 +0000

Entry Twelve: Thursday Only missed a day this time... not bad. Wednesday started out with the usual scrambled egg. My appetite doesn't seem to be picking up @ all. I haven't felt like myself in so long, I'm not sure what "I" feel like. I'm taking my medications and I'm still waking up in a whole-lot-of-pain. No Tylenol left so I took Motrin which I rarely do because I have a sensitivity to Ibuprofen. Still running a low grade temperature. The only other thing I had to eat was a Banquet Spaghetti dinner that I ate over three separate times of the day. One thing I noticed was how nervous I still was since the disturbance @ my building the other day. It's weird... like it doesn't feel safe or something.

Anyway, it was a pretty uneventful day and I did my usual sleeping allot thing because I'm tired all the time. My stomach was crampy on and off but with no diarrhea events. Drinking water and Sprite, my favorite soft drink because it has no caffeine in it. Oh, I did wake up from a nap and my friend had come by to see how I'm doing so that was a nice surprise.

Today (Thursday)I had scrambled eggs, I ventured out and had some El Pollo chicken, corn on the cob, and a spoonful of mac and cheese. The diarrhea started again today and I zapped it with Imodium which seems to have taken care of it for now. I figured out that when I've read reports of people with UC having 6 to 10 movements a day, and I was thinking "You're kidding me! I wouldn't last a week like that!", I was looking @ it from a different perspective than I see my own incidents. I'm using a different counting system with myself.

I used to get so tired of getting out of the bed when my stomach started cramping, going to the bathroom, getting back in the bed, only to have to go back to the bathroom, then get back in the bed, to have to get back up and to back to the bathroom... you get the picture. That's when I started just hanging out in the bathroom for longer periods of time until I was sure it was over. So, I was actually going a minimum of 3-4 times. On a real bad day, it's 6-7 times. You don't want to know what's still left to get outta there by then, but let me tell ya, it's not from this dimension. I hate the "Alien Syndrome" the worse because if you're still cramping by then, you're to weak and nauseous to fight back. I hate it when this happens and I'm out or visiting, or at work. It's embarrassing to have to keep leaving the room, so I stay home and if I'm working, I have to just grin and bare it until there's a break where I can disappear for awhile.

Alright. Enough of that... although this is a blog about UC... so I gotta go into detail every now and then.

PATIENCE

Link

Alprazolam, Family Matters And A Surprise Visit

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 11:24:00 +0000

Entry Eleven: Tuesday
Let's see, what did I eat on Sunday? What did I do on Sunday? Apparently, i've been in the bed and at home too long, period! I can't remember what I did! ArrrrrrrrrggggggHHHHHH!!! Oh, I know what's going on. It's a side effect. The Alprazolam has a side affect that messes with your short term memory... forgot about that. Even though I'm taking half the normal dosage, to compensate for the fact that most doctors just look at your age and see adult and prescribe you an adult dosage based on your symptoms, even though you have the body weight and shoe size of a small child! Arrrrrrrrghhh! again.

Didn't eat breakfast because I didn't get up. I'm pissed about some stuff so I've been trying to stay as unconscious as possible without drifting off into the firmament. Family stuff. I did get up at some point, don't know what time that was, but my sister came by with my niece and nephew and brought me an "Oscar E" from the famous "Roscoes Chicken and Waffles". I ate a touch of it including one wing, saved the rest for later. It was good to see my sister and her kids who are now my height and taller. We did some family catching up, some laughing, and I was just in shock period because my entire family is moving to Atlanta in a week, my mom is already gone, I didn't get to say goodbye, I found out my other sister is dealing with breast cancer (we've already lost two siblings), and my friend has officially had her house stolen from her.

So, I took Monday off to bury myself under the covers, my hiding place, and assumed the infamous fetal position again, until the notorious neighbors with the Barking Dog began fighting insanely, causing my colon to once again go beserk. Two police calls and 3 hours later, all I wanted to do was go as far away from all known life forms as I could and just enter some meditative state that brings on a "peace coma" while allowing you to still breathe without life support. Whew! I gotta get a hold of myself here... Besides some chip nibbles, did I eat?

Alright. I've got a combination of basic colitis symptoms, and I'm pretty nauseous and achy so I still have to catch up on my story and what happened in post 9 next time. I'm worn out. Oh, today (Tuesday) I had several tiny portions of rice, vegetables, fries, little piece of chicken.... you know, basically just snacked. I don't have much of an appetite. Too much going on. I did have a surprise visitor, Lakesha made a surprise visit to see how I'm doing. I'll add a link to that name later and you'll know who I'm talking about. I was so tired... I didn't sleep well at all because of the crazy neighbors, so I didn't visit long and went back to bed, which is what I'm about to do again right now..... zzzzzzzzzzzz

Rate this post: I give it 2 arrrrrrghs! and a snore zzzzzzz

Update: Lakesha Link:

PATIENCE

UC Update: Meals, and Slight Ranting

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 10:09:00 +0000

Entry Ten: Saturday Let me get straight to the business at hand. I said I wasn't good at keeping a record of what I eat! That's why there's this big gaping whole in between the last post and this one! My other theory is that I passed out for a whole week after that last paragraph about the rape... but I'm here bloggin again now so here we go.

A summary of the meals I can remember this past week:

Mon - Saturday: I had the same thing for breakfast, scrambled eggs de la daughter, maybe bacon one other day besides today.

Lunch... what is that?

Dinner: I had the tender steak leftovers with vegetables until that ran out which was Tuesday evening.

I had Soft Tacos a la daughtiere, with fresh tomatoe and lettuce over finely ground beef, a hint of Taco sauce. Also had this till it ran out Thursday evening.

I had sauteed fresh Red Snapper with green beans on Friday, a succulent duet prepared by Mothere et la daughtere.

Saturday was baked chicken with rice and vegetables. For snacking during the week it was salomi, cheese, crackers, fruit cups, soup, and Ensure till I ran out. There!

I did not make it through the week without any diarrhea or cramping or Imodium or the Phantom Pain. I did get through the week without the dizziness. Yippeeeeee! I'm still running a low grade temperature everyday and I hurt like crazy every morning when I first wake up. The pain in my joints is bad. I can barely lift my head up at first. I start everyday out with a pain pill now. Good thing I can't tolerate Vicoden or I'm sure I'd be unaware of UC, IBS, LOL, FYI, and my ABC's.

I gotta get out of this bed so I can work! This has been one of the most depressing weeks I've had in a really long time... the Bible, "The Secret", and even Family Guy's not changing it! Help!!!

PATIENCE

The People Lining My Colon!

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 12:02:00 +0000

Entry Nine: Sunday It's now 5am on Monday morning and as often occurs, I can't sleep. If you've been paying attention to the times I've posted, you've figured out I'm somewhat an insomniac also, so I'm blogging again. First order of business, food. I had a light breakfast which actually was just a soft scrambled egg. I splurged a little later and had a salomi sandwich... just because. I love Italian food and Italian meats and for whatever reason, I don't seem to have any problems eating it. For dinner I had some very tender steak and vegetables. It was more like a slither of steak and a couple of tablespoons full of cooked vegetables.

That all went well until around 1am Sunday morning, and the cramping started, followed by diarreah. I concluded the whole ordeal with a dose of Imodium, got hungry again around 3am and had another slither of steak. I've been hoping that I've just had some bug and that my UC is still in remission, but now I think I need to accept that it's not and yes, this is a flare up.

A compromised immune system sucks! It bites the big one! I have my own theories about how I got this, along with all the other stuff I've been diagnosed with over the years, and although it's quite an unpleasant story, I think it's one that need so be told.

Before I start back in my childhood, let me tell you a little about how I've view my colon at times. When i get really stressed out, and I picture my colon, it looks like a Mt Rushmore scene with giant busts of all the people that have stressed me out carved into the lining of my colon! I told a Gastroenterologist during a colonoscopy to give me a copy of the footage of what he saw in there because I was sure I'd recognize the faces of everybody lining my colon walls. Then I'd know who to blame for this!

Besides the inflamed tissues, there's events in their and past footage of some really stressful stuff. I also have Diverticulitis so I'm sure there are some perpetrators hiding out in the pockets just waiting for the slightest signal from my brain marking the memory of whatever they did to piss me off, triggering the nerve endings in the tissues down there sending them the secret code to aggravate the crap out or me. I got somethin for 'em though.... I'm gonna flush everybody outta there with super fleet before my next colonoscopy!

Now for my story. I was a pretty happy kid until I was about 4 years old, when I was raped. I don't remember having any pottie problems until then. I have one of those impressive memories going back to about 1 and a half years old. I remember after that having lots of pain in my abdomen and I was always sick and throwing up and having diarreah. The trauma of that incident along with two diseases I contracted as a result of the violation on such a tiny little innocent body weakened my immune system for life.

Now, if you want to find out everything that happened, you'll have to come back for the next post. I should write this in book form. It's gonna make great reading, and part of my healing is to put all of this behind me so I can move forward. I made the decision to be open about it, not so much for the reader, but for my own freedom.

Patience

DIVERTICULITIS/DIVERTICULOSIS

Working and Breakdancing

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 09:49:00 +0000

Entry Eight: Saturday The show with Sy Smith and Michelle N'Degeocello was a big success... a sell out night at the Temple Bar in Santa Monica. The place was packed tight with music lovers and fans of both artist. It was also a great kick off night for the release of Sy's new DVD,

Worship At The Temple.

SY SMITH
I had fun. Both bands were great. I was concerned about how I was going to get through the day since I wasn't up to speed physically but this is part of my job so I knew I would have to be there. Wasn't the first time I would work sick and won't be the last. I went into the music industry almost straight out of high school and it has always been some kind of physical challenge for me. Anyway, I took my time getting ready for the show today. I had to be there by 6:00pm for load in, sound check and stuff that managers do. The show wasn't till 10:00 so it's a long evening for me.

I just prayed that I wouldn't get the "Phantom Pain". I could make it through anything but that. I kept my stress level down to a minimum, and drank a lot of fluids. I didn't eat anything until later that evening around nine or so, Sy brought me some soup to the gig. Good lookin out Sy.

I made it through the whole day with just some tylenol for my body aches and made sure I didn't stand too long or do too much running around. I was okay.

I took Friday off because when I woke up after Thursday show, I was in pain again, a lot. So I stayed in the bed. I was real tired and got some sleep. I was up until 5am the night before. You know, I honestly can't even remember right now what I ate yesterday... hmmmm... that's not good. Today was another day of just being in the bed because i don't feel good. I didn't feel it on Thursday but I'm feeling my activity from working Thursday today. I guess the last two days. The really bad pain was back today ("Phantom"). I'm really sad about it. I'm so tired of pain.

I know all my christian friends would say all the positive confessions to me right now, and I'm down with all of that... that's how I've gotten this far, but truth is also truth, and the truth is, I'm sad and I'm tired of pain.

Okay, heres something funny for you. I was watching a movie about breakdancing vs. krunk and all I can think about when I see that stuff is what it was like at the baptist church I grew up in. I am conviced that a breakdancer nor krunk dancing has anything on a baptist shouter! I'm going to prove it too! First chance I get. If you've ever seen for real baptist shoutin' in church you know what I'm talking about. As SOOOOOON!!!! as I get my hands on some xtra cash I'm going to do a video about it! Well, I got up while I was watching the movie when they were dancing, and started doing the baptist version of street dancing... it was too funny, but then the "Phantom Pain" started, but at least I'm determined to enjoy what I can every breath that I can.

Patience

Finally, A Good Day

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 08:09:00 +0000

Entry Seven: Wednesday Overall today was good. I didn't eat much at all today because I'm still not feeling hungry. I had half a turkey sandwich and forgot that was all I'd eaten till around 7pm. That's when hunger appeared and I didn't want to wait for a meal to be cooked so I did the unthinkable and had McDonalds. My daughter brought me back (at my request) a Fillet O' Fish Meal. I ate half of that sandwich and some fries.

I got through the day with no abdominal pain, just a few body aches. This is the first day I've felt better in comparison to the last three weeks. By 10pm I did receive a little reminder that I'm not back to normal when I got a little light headed and felt weak in my legs whenever I got up. I did some more work because there's a show tomorrow night and I had to contact the band and crew to make sure everyone was informed as far as rehearsal, sound check, and equipment. The artist that I work with, Sy Smith is doing a show with Meshell N'Deocello tomorrow night (Thursday) at a popular venue in LA called The Temple Bar. It's also the show marking the release of her live performance DVD, "Worship At The Temple" which was filmed back in December and was the New Years Eve show.

www.sysmith.com
I can wear many hats, so besides being a singer, I also do music production, songwriting, arranging, digital audio editing and I've recently learned some mastering techniques that came in handy on the audio track for the DVD. My primary duties today were things that a manager or booking agent would handle and most of that I can do by phone or email. I'm really glad I got through it without anything stressful showing up and the fact that my colon wasn't aggravated is a sign that things went well.

I think I'm going to go in the kitchen and get a few crackers, some Ensure and call it a night. I'm tired and I've got alot on my mind, more than usual. I've been wanting to get going on finishing my own CD that I started a while back and between my health and my finances, it's just been difficult so I'm bummed out about it. As an artist, you can kinda feel when you have something great inside you that needs to get out and I'm in that phase where I know some of my best work is just waiting on me to get in the studio and get it done. That's my next big project... me. That's my right now project... me. Getting me what I need. So I gotta get well... zzzzzzzzzz

Patience

A Compromised Quality Of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 10:11:00 +0000

Entry Six: Tuesday I'm gonna keep this one short because I'm tired, and I'm tired of being behind on the dates. I was hoping my apetite would be a little better today but the usual body aches when I wake up and nausea made me not want to eat anything. My daughter however decided I should have a little something and brought me some scrambled eggs. I really didn't do too much today. I'm a music producer and I have a pending project that I needed to submitt a budget for so I did manage to get that done. I also handle booking an artist friend of mine so I followed up on some bookings, made some calls and answered some email requests.

After a few hours of that, I was a little hungry but not enough for a meal so I just drank Ensure. Then it started again. The cramping in the abdomen. I'm trying to find a way to differentiate in writing which attacks are worse than others so bare with me. This one was pretty bad... lasted on and off for about an hour, with two trips to the bathroom. I'm making sure I continue to get plenty of fluids so I don't get dehydrated again.

I think I can maybe explain how this kind of stuff interrupts the quality of life on a daily basis for people who have UC and are feeling well enough to go to work, etc. If you've had diarrhea, you already know there is no real warning right before any discomfort in the abdomen, so you could be in the middle of the most important moment of your life and it could hit right then and you'd have to excuse yourself from whatever was about to change your life forever, possibly missing out on the most promising event you would ever experience. (I know... I take things waaaaaaaaaay too far sometimes)

Well if you have UC, these interruptions can be daily events for you. You can plan out your day, get going and out of nowhere you start feeling sick and most of the time you can't really let on because it's a bowel problem. Now, the occasional slip of methane vapor emitted from the anus, and everybody in your immediate surroundings know that something is wrong somewhere and you're now sweatin' being discovered if you leave to go to the bathroom at that moment. You really need to go but you know you'll give it away so you bear down and try to keep a normal look on your face while your stomache is killing you. As soon as you see that nonchalante break point, you head towards the nearest restroom. If it's a really bad attack and you're out, you're gonna be in there for a while. If it's the one where you get the sweats and nausea, you're gonna come out looking like you need to go home immediately. Someone will look at you and say, "are you feeling okay?" because it's obvious that you're not.

If you're a UC pro, you know to keep Imodium somewhere on you, especially if you don't want to have to go home. Imodium is like that allergy shot that some people have to keep with them if you're a UC sufferer. I used to keep Imodium, Maalox, Benedryl, and Tylenol with me at all times for painful diahrea, nausea, gassy stomache, and body aches.

There are times when I will get so stressed out about having to go somewhere for fear of getting sick while I'm out that it will bring on the UC attack before I can leave home. This has caused my relationships to suffer tremendously. I got to the point where I didn't want to go anywhere, not to work, not socially, not anywhere because I was always feeling sick at some point and had to play it off. People also get tired of you saying you're not feeling well. You don't have alot of energy, and if you're on medications for UC, it can really leave you feeling tired besides the fact that your digestive system isn't functioning properly to begin with and you're not getting the nutrients your body needs to feel good and be alert. Depression is also affected by UC, for those of you who are not aware of the Serotonin levels in the colon. There's more there than in the brain.

Nausea, cramping, diahrrea, vomiting, and at it's worse, internal bleeding, dehydration, sores in the intestines, polyps... it's a very serious condition. If you've had it a long time, and I actually had it way before I was diagnosed with it at 20, your quality of life on some level is always compromised. I've done extemely well to have traveled all over the world and I've had an amazing life working in the entertainment industry and being very active in my faith and my church. I've worked with some of the greatest entertainers and some of the greatest ministries, an odd combination but not odd as you get to know my life story. It is my faith in God that has given me the courage and strength to forge ahead in life and beat the odds against all of my health problems and any other obstacles I've had to face as a result of the unforseen curves that life tends to throw our way.

Having said that, I'm forging ahead today, inspite of any pain I've encountered and I got some work done, ate another small meal in the evening, drank more fluids, stopped a fight from taking place in front of the building I live in, (dun dun dun dahhhhh! I really did it because the commotion was causing my colon to get nervous and I didn't want to end up like I did yesterday.... yeah, it'll make you brave as a survival instinct!) and now I'm getting caught up on this blog.

P.S.
I thought I was gonna keep it short... sorry.

Patience

My Colon Vs. Diet, Weight, and A Barking Dog

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 08:13:00 +0000

Entry Five: Monday- Not much difference today. Started out the day with a lite breakfast. I had scrambled eggs and very thin slice of chicken breast. I still don't have much of an apetite and didn't feel like any traditional breakfast meat. I've been drinking lots of water. I've also been drinking Ensure over the past few days and I forgot to mention it in my other posts, but it seems to help me have a little more energy whenever I add it to my daily routine. Since I'm not eating regularly it's a good idea for me to drink it. I like the chocolate flavored one. i can't drink milk at all so chocolate Ensure is the closest I get to a chocolate milk shake. Sad! But you do what you gotta do, you know?

This was another really painful day. I'm getting worried because I've had a long run of not having this severe pain and it's showing up daily again. I had alot of cramping in my abdomen again and the bathroom runs were frequent. I still made it a point to eat. I had baked chicken left over, I also had a salad. Now, let me explain why I'm not following the usual softer diet when you're having as much trouble as I am right now. You see, in the past, whenever the doctors would put me on the soft foods diet, I lost too much weight. I've always been petite and my average weight has never been above 104 lbs. I was 96-98 pounds forever with a high metabolism the majority of my adult life. I managed to get over 100 lbs at the age of 33, with the exception of when I was pregnant. I made it up to 126 pounds, and went back down to 115 after my daughter was born. Within six months, I was back down to 98 lbs.

Whenever I've tried the softer diets, I just loose weight, which in turn makes me feel worse and weaker. Once I was placed on a diet that removed all sugar, salt, starch, anything high in the stuff that puts weight on you and I ended up being 86 pounds and a size 0. I was so sick that they ended up hooking me back up to an IV for a treatment process called chelation pumping vitamins and fluids and nutrients into my veins, and giving me another diet plan that said go and eat everything you can eat! I have alot of food allergies so I ended up with chronic urticaria (hives) and some other stuff i didn't need to add to my already jacked up health problems. So, I eat now, because it's like a no win situation for me. Eating makes me feel sick and not eating makes me feel sick but, I love breathing so I'm gonna eat!

Okay, the rest of this day was just sleeping on and off. I did have a fit at one point because the resident dog was barking like it was on speed ALL DAY LONG. It got so bad that I finally got out of the bed and went banging on the neighbors door, which was open, dog just standing there barking at atoms and molecules, and the dog was unattended. I was yelling calling for them to come to the door like I had lost my mind getting madder and madder and no one came. Now, there's smoke coming out of my ears and nose and my hair was suddenly attacked by a magnetic static alternate force field causing it to porcupine out in all directions! I mean I'm fuming now and the dog is gettin' scared!

I knew someone was home because the front door was WIDE OPEN! So I stormed back inside, got my cell phone and called them on their cell phone. One of them answered, and casually pretended not to be home. Hmmmmm...

Now, this is the year of our Lord, 2000 and 7 people. The information age. Technology is advancing exponentially. Algorithms have modified and fine tuned bandwith and we now have blue tooth technology and wirless earpieces. Little children are in college. Are you smarter than a fith grader is a hit T. V. show. How could anyone possibly think I would not hear the dog barking in the background over the phone?!!!! Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!

Immediately after I finished yelling through the phone and hung up, my colon said, "I can't take any more stress or pressure from you people out there!!! You here me? I'm not tellin' you again!". I was immediately in pain again and the nausea began...

That's it. I was done for. I got in the bed in the popular fetal position and pulled the covers over my head.

Patience

Trying To Catch Up...

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 10:47:00 +0000

Entry Four: Sunday Okay, it's time for me to play catch up. This is what happened Sunday. I told you I wasn't good at keeping track by documentation but I'm trying to discipline myself to do it. I gotta get well! I woke up with the body aches, had some night sweating, and I just felt lousy overall. I had no apetite and the "Phantom Pain" was down to a low mid frequency type hum in the low abdomen. It just hung out there for a few hours, not explaining itself at all, for no apparent reason. Nothing that went through my mind in an attempt to try to figure out what this pain is (I do it everytime I get it) made any sense either. I mean, it feels like the lining of my colon is inflamed or something and somebody is just squeezing it, or twisting it and then holding it in that position. Here's a good example of what it feels like at it's worse. If you've ever had a charlie horse in your leg muscle or arm muscle that won't go away when you're trying to get it out, that's what it feels like is happening in my abdomen.

I know about spastic colon but this is rediculous! If this is a spasm, then I need a super powered anti-spasmodic! I'm actually pissed about the whole thing because I know I never had this "Phantom Pain" till I had the hysterectomy. I ended up having to get the prehistoric procedure in the new millenium (the bikini cut like a C section) instead of the neat, non obtrusive 3 slit laproscopic job with star trek type technology involved. I am however thankful that the state offered me insurance to get that done, seeing that my uterus had grown to the size of a six month old fetus because of the inumerable and large fibroids. I'm not kidding. I saw it. Really. My uterus. The Basket Of Life. The whole thing... I requested it. I have a high sensitivity to most things on the planet so they could not put me to sleep but gave me the needle in the spine thingy that I can't think of the name of right now... you know... what they give you if you gotta have something during labor. So, I was awake during the surgery.... very high but awake. I tried to sing for my doctor (oh, yeah, I'm also a singer) and lost all ability to carry a note the moment he cut through the stomache muscle. That was the weirdest feeling I've ever had!

Anyway, back to catching up. My best friend came by again and brought me a fabulous meal which I ate very little of, ribs and chicken with a baked potatoe from a favorite restaurant of mine. Not much of an apetite at all. I'm still light headed and feeling weak and sleeping alot, more than usual. I'm drinking lots of fluids, water, gatorade, and sprite and trying not to worry about not feeling well. Today I prayed alot on and off because I just want to feel okay. I'll write about Monday and today in my next post and hopefully be able to keep up after that. I can see now that I may be skipping some days, but that should be okay.

Patience

The "Phantom Pain"

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:51:00 +0000

Entry Three: The rest of the day (June 3) didn't go so well. Let's see... I had lot's of Gatorade, some pedialite, drank alot of water but basically felt miserable. My stomache cramped on and off and the dizziness got worse. It made me think back to the first time I was hospitalized for UC. I was 20 years old and woke up with the worse cramping in my lower abdomen I'd ever experienced. I remember feeling so sick to my stomache and my head was spinning so bad I barely made it to the bathroom. I began vomiting and having diarrhea simultaneosly. I was sweating profusely to the point where sweat was falling in drops from my face. What is it about these attacks that cause a person to feel like they have to take everything off? I tried to get up to take my clothes off, caught a glimpse of what was inside the toilet and saw lot's of blood in my stool. The water in the toilet was black because my stool was so dark.

I never made it out of my clothes because I passed out. The thump alerted my sister who was in her room down the hall and she found me lying on the floor unconscious and called my mother immediately. Don't know to this day why she didn't call the paramedics. She and my mom took me to the hospital where they admitted me and kept me for two weeks. That was the first time I heard the term Ulcerative Colitis. After having a colonoscopy, they discovered that the lining of my colon was covered with little tiny sores and thats what caused the bleeding. EeeeeeeYuck! The thought of those tiny sores in such a delicate place is making me cringe! I still remember how painful it was! The cramping was worse than my labor pains when I had my daughter!

Speaking of my daughter, for dinner today she cooked baked chicken with vegetables. At first I thought I wouldn't be able to eat at all because I had an attack of what I call "The Phantom" pain. After a hysterectomy in September of 2001, I began to have this unexplained excruciating pain in the lower right side of my abdomen where the uterus is located. Sometime after they reomoved it, I think it was in the first week of recovery, this pain hit me. It feels like someone grabs my colon, twists it and holds it in that position. I can't even explain or describe how intense this pain is. It lasts anywhere from 20 minutes to the longest it's ever happened, whopping 4 hours! No one has been able to tell me what it is. I even had an endoscopy and laproscopic surgery to try to determine the cause of it. They ended up reomoving my apendics during the laproscopic surgery and said my organs looked like they were in pristine condition. Right! My apendics wasn't the problem. The pain continues to happen and today was one of those days.

I did manage to eat after the pain went away an hour later. I gotta get some answers. I'm really tired of being in pain. All day today, I've been in some kind of pain and my colon is aggravated and crampy. I'll be back when I'm feeling a little better, My spell check link isn't working so pardon the spelling... I'm out.

Patience

The Emergency Room

noreply@blogger.com (Pattie) — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 21:36:00 +0000

Entry Two. So far, so good. As I sit here thinking about all of this, I'm doing a little system check on my body. I'm still feeling a little light headed and experiencing some dizziness. I wonder if I'm anemic right now? My visit to the emergency room was quite eventful. I actually ended up going on Memorial Day, after several days of being too stubborn to go because I hate going to the hospital under any circumstances. Something about having done a few bedside deaths can really make one not want to see anything remotely related to a hospital room, and I've done my share of the bedside vigils.

After being forced to go by my best friend who took one look at me and said, "you're going right now", and with that look of fear on her face that let's you know your appearance is screaming "911! 911! Fibulator! Clear!", I humbly complied and let her drag me off to the emergency room. We pull up to the nearest medical emergency facility and it had valet parking! There was a guy sitting at the parking stand, slumped over in the chair beside it and I looked up and saw that and said, "okay, this is a sign! Take me home! This is a clear indication of how this is gonna go and I just want to go home." My friend just laughed her head off and came around to the other side to get me out and escort me in to what I thought would be my last walk of freedom before they took me to the death chamber.

Now, I don't have medical insurance at this present time, so I was hoping they'd just take my vitals and tell me some things I already knew and send me home... quickly. Absolutely not! Not only did they take me back to a room, but they also proceeded to prep me for an IV! The doctor comes in and asks the usual colitis type questions such as "how frequently have you had diarrhea? Any blood in the stool? Vomiting? How long has this been going on? Do you have a history of Ulcerative Colitis?" I of course answer like a gastrointestinal specialist and the next thing I know he's talking about admitting me! Yikes!

After being probed for a viable vein to insert the IV with three failed attempts, and several bruised veins later, I'm now laying there being hydrated because I had basically become dangerously dehydrated. My normal weight is only 100lbs, so drain out the water and that explains why they put me in the pediatric room. My best friend threatened to put me in the empty incubator. She laughed her head off. I did not smile.

After a couple of shorter discussions with the ER doctor about costs and lack of insurance, I was told I would not be admitted and would return home with a referral to a specialist, a bunch of prescriptions that I couldn't afford for meds like Asakol (almost $300.00), Entocort (about $400.00), Prednisone, and Alprazolam, for my anxiety attacks over the costs of my medications!

Did I forget to mention the lady in the waiting room who was a proud functioning alcoholic and took great pride in teaching the entire waiting room how to drink as much as possible without getting sick, all while a teenage girl was vomiting in a basket most likely due to alcohol poisoning? I was glad to get back home to my bed.

I'll see how the rest of this day goes but for now, my colon is just aggravated. Oh, and I'll get to the beginnings of my story in a minute!

Patience