There are a couple of important things to say about the weather in Kigali. First, it has the best weather in the world (my opinion only, of course, but shared by many… at least five other people). Second, no matter how many years a foreigner has lived here, none really seem to remember exactly when the rainy seasons start and finish (at least nobody I’ve asked… again, at least five people). The seasons have confused me for the two years I’ve been here. Below is my attempt to make some sense of the weather madness based on my personal experience and some conversations with folks who’ve been here a lot longer than I.

The Dry Seasons

There are two glorious dry seasons in Rwanda full of sunshine and mostly cloudy skies. One runs from around November until early March and the other from about June to September. When I arrive in July 2010, I was treated to two months straight of sunny weather without a cloud in the sky. The temperature if you were out in the sun was hot, but not unbearable, but the shade was perfect. True, the lack of rain meant some dusty days where breathing wasn’t all that enjoyable. Great for tanning, not so great for traversing Kigali’s steep hills in work clothes.

From January until early April this year, the rains mostly stayed away. There’s the occasional short shower and some cloud cover but, for the most part, the weather has been hot and sunny. Sitting in the sun for any length of time can become a sweaty affair but hanging out in the shade is fine. It’s hot but it’s nowhere near as bad as what you’d experience in Tanzania or Kenya. I don’t even think it’s as bad as the ridiculously humid summer weather I grew up with in Southern Ontario (which I’m told is a lot like the summers in the DC and NYC areas). It’d be nice if there was a beach closer to Kigali but I guess we can’t have it all, right?

Bring some light clothes as it will be toasty. Shorts and short skirts aren’t really the done thing here, but capri pants, dresses, longer skirts and pants made of light material are fine. Sleeveless tops are ok too. Don’t forget your sun lotion as it’s expensive here and sometimes hard to find. Sunglasses and a good hat and all of the other sunny weather stuff are recommended as well.

The Rainy Seasons

Likewise, there are two rainy seasons in Rwanda – big and small – that slot in in between the two dry seasons. The big rainy season goes from around late-March until about mid-May but this can vary by a few weeks sometimes. This year’s season, I’m told, started a bit late in mid-April and has been dragging on into May. The small rainy season is from around late-September until November. The difference between the two rainy seasons is that the ‘big’ rains that come earlier in the year tend to last longer (it’s not unusual for it to rain all day, four or five times a week) whereas the ‘small’ rains tend to only be for a few hours in the afternoon and leave you with a beautiful day for the rest of the time. The big rains will screw with your plans and piss you of whereas the small rains will annoy you for a little while but clear the air and then leave you with a sunny sky. At least that’s the theory.

So now it’s May 2012 and here I sit, in the midst of the big rainy season. True to its title, it rained very heavily almost all night last night, starting at about 10pm and continuing until about 9am the next morning. But it’s 3pm now and the sky is blue with fluffy clouds. The internet tells me that it’s 20C with 88% humidity. I’m not sure what 88% humidity is supposed to feel like but I wouldn’t imagine it’s like this. The weather is pretty much perfect for me. No mugginess, slightly cooler than normal but I could still get away with wearing a skirt and a sleeveless top. It’s nice.

But don’t be fooled! While I would never dream of leaving the house before 8am, most people in Kigali have real jobs and I’m told that it is really cold at those ungodly morning hours. While I can’t vouch for the mornings, I can say with certainty that evenings this time of the year can get pretty chilly. We’re not talking winter coat and gloves type weather, but you’ll be very cold in flip-flops, open-toed shoes, skirts, skimpy dresses, sleeveless tops etc. So, if you’re planning on being in Kigali at this time of the year, have some warm clothes in your luggage. It gets cold.

A light scarf is handy not only for protecting your neck from the chilly evening weather, but also as a guard against the sometimes-slimy motorcycle helmets you’re bound to encounter if moto taxis are your preferred mode of transportation. A good-quality umbrella is also a smart buy as is a lightweight rain jacket. Wellies are probably overkill but if you plan on braving the torrential downpours (instead of hiding out until the rain stops like the rest of us) then bring them… along with rain pants. And maybe snorkel gear. When it rains hard here, it rains HARD. If you don’t have your snorkel, just hide out with all of the Rwandans under bus shelters or in shops and wait for it to stop.

So, all up, the weather in Rwanda as a whole is amazing. A bit wet at times, but the dry, sunny days more than make up for it. Places in the west tend to be colder and wetter so, if you’re heading to the hills, keep this in mind. But, as far as I’m concerned, Kigali has the best weather of anywhere I’ve been in the world. Something to look forward to! Just make sure you prepare for the wet times and bring some sunscreen for the dry seasons and you’ll love it.

So Payprus, Kigali’s most popular nightspot, was closed down in August 2011 (Papyrus Cafe next door is still open, though) for noise complaints or parking issues or some other mysterious reason only to re-open several months later as a toned-down version called Ogopogo. Why it was named after Canada’s equivalent to the Loch Ness Monster, I will never know. But, in reality, it should have been named Papyrus II because it’s pretty much an exact copy of the old place minus the dance floor (which has been turned into a wine shop with an unusually large stock of Amarula) and bruschetta bread.

So Ogopogo is essentially Papyrus before it went all nightclubby, which is great. All the good stuff about the old Papyrus without the phone theft and hookers. I guess if you’re into stealing phones or acquiring hookers then this isn’t the place for you but, if you enjoy good Italian food in a nice setting, then it’s one of the best choices in town.

One of my favourite things about Papyrus was that, if you’d spent an amount of time socialising in Kigali, you were always bound to bump into a bunch of people you know. This meant that a quiet midweek dinner would sometimes end on the dance floor at KBC. Well… that was just one time. But it’s nice to go out for a drink or dinner and see familiar faces. Well, it seems that the familiar faces have gravitated back towards Ogopogo and I’ll often see people I know here any night of the week.

The menu is pretty much the same as Papyrus’ with pizza, various meat dishes, lasagne and a variety of pastas and sauces on offer. Pizzas can be had for around Rwf 4000-5000, the meat lasagne for Rwf 5500 (probably my favourite lasagne in Kigali) and, my usual choice at Papyrus, pork chops in a green peppercorn sauce for Rwf 6,700. It was pretty salty the last time I had it, though. But that sauce is so damned tasty! Some more starter and snack-type things on the menu would be nice. The cocktails on the last page of the menu with semi-sexual descriptions are a nice touch, though I’m yet to indulge.

The best part about Ogopogo for me is the wine. Sure, it’s probably the usual Drosdty-Hof in a box but, firstly, it doesn’t have the mysterious powder floating at the bottom of each glass like you’ll find at Downtown Bar, secondly, it doesn’t taste like ass like at White Horse and, most importantly, a huge glass only costs Rwf 2,000. That makes it the best place in Kigali for affordable wine that isn’t gross and doesn’t have things floating in it. Add the nice view and the under cover open air patio and you’ve got a nice spot to sip some vino.

If you’re more into your sports then Ogopogo usually has something playing on the TV behind the bar. Sometimes it’s a major football match and sometimes it’s women’s professional wrestling… but it always seems to be one sport or another. It’s a popular place for watching football so if there’s a big game on and you want to watch it with a crowd, it makes a decent choice. I haven’t come here on a weekend night yet, so I’m not sure whether the patio turns into a crowded dance party like in the days of Ye Olde Papyrus or if it stays calm as the party-goers shuffle up the hill to Sundowner instead.

As with most restaurants in Kigali, service is pretty average. Everyone is nice but it’s hard to get the waiter’s attention, especially when you’re competing with those football matches. Food here has come out super fast on some occasions (under 30 minutes qualifies as ‘super fast’) and has taken an hour other times.

So until the new, real Papyrus (the owner is building a new version of his old place just next to Flamingo in Kimihurura) is up and running, I’m happy its back, disguised at Ogopogo.

This place has always been mysterious to me. I arrived in Kigali almost two years ago and have heard about the existence of a Greek restaurant in town, but had never met anyone who’d ever been there. So I figured maybe it had closed or was a figment of everyone’s imagination and forgot about it. Then I’d heard rumours of a Greek restaurant in town with a brothel attached. Intriguing. But still, I’d never seen the place or met any of it’s upstanding patrons. Then I finally met a person who had been there (they recommended the fish) and I had to assume that, perhaps, this place exists.

So, almost a year after meeting one customer, I finally set foot in the restaurant/hotel to find a pretty Greeked-up decor complete with ‘ancient’ concrete columns and a boat in the middle of the floor. There’s a deck with a beautiful view of the city but it was raining so we found a spot inside.

When we arrived at 1pm all of the lights were turned off and there were some shady looking characters sitting in the darkness in the corner. When we moved inside to find a table, the lights were switched on and, right after we finished eating and left, they were turned off again. Strange. There were cats running around the place and batting around a dead mouse when we were there. Being the sickos that we are, we found this amusing but I can see how this might not be everyone’s thing.

The food here is pretty good and it’s nice to have a bit of variety from the usual Kigali fare. But, fear not! You can, if you so choose, still order spaghetti bolognaise… a staple in Greece, I’m sure. Bizarrely, there’s no Greek Salad on the menu. But maybe Greek Salad in a Greek restaurant is just called ‘salad’. We didn’t order it, so we’ll never know.

We ordered a starter which ended up being a small plate with a few different little snacks. Olives, tomatoes and cucumbers with tzatziki (yum!), a pale pink dip (I’m not up enough on my Greek food to know what it was), a stuffed vine leaf and some white cheese that we assumed was feta but was actually just a tasteless rectangle of soft cheese. The starter was tasty but the disappointment of the phoney feta was slightly traumatic. Our starter was served with four warm, delicious bread rolls which we dipped in the tzatziki… very tasty.

Between the four of us we ordered two gyros (made with pork) and two moussaka. While the pork was tasty, served up on a pita with tomato, onion and cucumber, it was a bit dry and needed a lot more tzatziki than came with it on the side. When I asked for more I was told it would take too long to make. So I had to make it last. If you love the stuff like I do, maybe ask for some extra on the side when you place your order. Each of our dishes came with fries which were tasty but they were pretty skimpy with the ketchup portions. The moussaka got good reviews.

Our two waitresses were very good and between them speak French, English and Kinyarwanda. The food took around 30 minutes which is under the Kigali restaurant’s usual 45 minutes to an hour. We had a leisurely lunch and never felt pressured to hurry up.

All up, I liked it. It’s a bizarre little place in the middle of Kigali with some good food at decent prices. They even offered us one of their cats! So if you’re looking for a feline friend with fine mouse-catching skills… make a lunch stop at Hellenique.

Phone: 0788 512 342
Email: hellenique@hotmail.com
Website: http://helleniquehotel.onlc.fr

I always get annoyed when I spend a long time living in a city and only discover cafes and restaurants that I like years later. Especially when I’ve been meaning to go to them for ages! Flamingo Chinese Restaurant is one of these little gems. Located in Kimihurura just down the road from Africa Bite, it’s central and their balcony has a pretty fantastic view back over to Kiyovu.

They’re one of these places that close for a few hours in the afternoon from 3pm to 6pm so make sure to sneak in there before they close the doors in he afternoon. We didn’t realise they had the break in their day and accidentally snuck in just before 3pm and stuck around until at least 4pm.

The service was still friendly and there were actually a couple of large tables with big orders that seemed like they’d be sticking around for awhile. Service-wise, everything was great except for when I had to ask twice for a cup to share a pot of green tea. But he was working on his own, we were there when they were supposed to be closed, and he was also looking after other tables, including one large table of people so I can’t complain too much. Really great service without being too overbearing.

Our food came pretty fast, but not so fast that you wondered about its freshness. The veggie spring rolls (Rwf 500 each) came with some yummy sauces. They weren’t really that fat and stuffed with veggies, more long and thin and crispy. I liked them, my friend didn’t as much… she prefers her spring rolls with more thick and less crisp. So there you have it.

We ordered the sweet and sour pork (Rwf 4,500) and chicken with cashew nuts (Rwf 6,000). I loved the pork dish… nice big chunks of pineapple and the pork was really tender and delicious. Flamingo proudly state on their menu that they don’t add any colouring to their food and it shows in this dish which, I guess, is naturally brown. Have the same dish at Great Wall and it’s nuclear orange. Not sure what goes into food to make it that colour but, while I like the sweet and sour pork at both places, it is slightly alarming to see that it practically glows at one restaurant and not the other.

I liked the chicken and cashew dish less but it was still really good. Big pieces of chicken and green peppers and a nice sauce. I thought the chicken was a little chewy which is the only reason I didn’t really love it. The green tea (Rwf 1,000) was good and came in a seemingly endless pot. They also offered to heat it up.

The menu is pretty vast and includes soups (chicken wonton soup is 2,700), dumplings (they were out when we were there but range in price from 4,000 to 5,000 depending on fillings), the usual fried rice and noodle dishes, and sizzlers (Rwf 4,000 for veggies up to Rwf 13,500 for prawn and everything in between). Our total bill came to around Rwf 15,000 but we had plenty of food leftover to take away.

The wine menu includes bottles which is a nice break from boxed Drostdy-Hof wines (although you can get a glass for Rwf 3,000) and range in price from Rwf 20,000 to Rwf 65,000 for you fancy folks out there. A small Primus is Rwf 1,000 and cocktails range in price from Rwf 3,500 to Rwf 8,000. They’ve got a good selection of desserts as well for around Rwf 3,000. They’ll also do whole roasted ducks forRwf 22,500 which, I was told, would feed four people. Then as I walked away I was told five, and then six! So who really knows. But it seems like it’d be a nice night out with some good food you can’t really get elsewhere in Kigali.

I really liked this place and was happy to be given a menu before we left and told that they deliver! For takeaway call either 0788 302 437 or 0784 609 695. Delivery costs Rwf 1,500 to Kiyovu but we didn’t ask about other areas because we’re mean and only care about ourselves.

Hours: Mon to Sun, 11am – 3pm, 6pm – 11pm
Phone: 0788 300 333, 0784 609 695
Website: http://www.flamingokigali.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/#!/flamingokigali
Email: sales@flamingokigali.com

What: Wine, Cheese and Art Fundraiser for Afrique en Marche
When: Saturday, May 5th from 4pm to 7pm
Where: Private Home in Kimihurura (two houses down from Hellenique Greek Restaurant)
Cost: Rwf 15,000 (buy tickets by May 2nd)

The Rwandan Association Afrique en Marche manufactures high quality prostheses and facilitates the integration of disabled persons integrate into society so that they may live more autonomously.

To support its mission, you are invited to attend a cocktail featuring international wine, cheese, and hors d’oeuvres as well as an art exhibit and silent auction of paintings from the Ivuka Arts Cooperative of Rwanda. This fundraising event will take place at a private home in Kimuhurura on Saturday, May 5th from 4pm to 7pm.

A Rwf 15,000 ticket will get you entrance, two glasses of wine, one plate of various types of cheese and a selection of hor d’oeuvres. Please confirm your attendance and purchase your ticket(s) by May 2nd by contacting either Wendy at 078-860-6460 / wendy.valentini@gmail.com or Kim at 078-830-1866 / kimouna@gmail.com.

What: Demobilized Child Soldier Theatre Piece – “Hozwa Mwana w’u Rwanda”
Where: Ishyo Arts Center, Kacyru
When: Friday, April 27th at 7pm
How Much: Free!

For the past 6 weeks a group of 30 recently demobilized youth at the Child Rehabilitation Center in Musanze have been working with four theatre facilitators to create a new piece of theatre, “Hozwa Mwana w’u Rwanda” (Be Soothed, Son of Rwanda), based upon their experiences in the Congo and their hopes and concerns as they transition into reintegration to civilian life in Rwanda. The piece will be performed in Kinyarwanda with English and French subtitles. There will be a question-and-answer session with the youth after the show.

For more information on the project, check out the interview we did with Ailin, one of the theatre facilitators.

What: Cities on Speed – ‘Shanghai Space’
Where: Cinestar, Nyamirambo
When: Tuesday, May 8th at 8pm
How Much: Rwf 1,500

If this event looks familiar it’s because it was advertised on this site a couple of weeks ago but had to be rescheduled due to wonky cinema equipment. But this time it’s for real! So check it out.

Cities on Speed, Global Visions for an Urban Future is a documentary project commissioned by The Danish Film Institute and the national broadcaster DR. The project is a series of four films – Bogotà Change, Mumbai Disconnected, Cairo Garbage, Shanghai Space. They’ve been selected through a call for submissions, directed by four different filmmakers who tell character-based stories on four of the world’s largest megacities.

We started with Cairo, looking at the disparities between the city’s waste management plan and its increasing population. We then moved onto Mumbai, focusing on the city’s choked transport network and the various actors which moved along with, in between, and at the edges of the stifling flow of traffic.

Shanghai will be featured in the second last of this series titled ‘Shanghai Space’:

Shanghai is an explosion of transformation. Every other day a new building is completed, and every year the city’s population grows by half a million people. Authorities are desperately seeking out more space, while the city’s inhabitants must adapt to constantly changing surroundings. In an office on the 20th floor, government advisor Professor Shu prepares the next generation of young urban planners for Shanghai’s future. In order to find the space needed for Shanghai’s millions of inhabitants, planners are now looking underground.

‘Shanhai Space’ will be shown on 3rd April at 8pm , at Cinestar Cinema in Nyamirambo. Running time is 60 minutes.

These films are in conjunction with KIST Urban Design Studio Year 4 and there will be a short introduction by tutor Killian Doherty. The future intention is that this film series relating to architecture and urban design will be screened to the public at KIST.

Entry is now Rwf 1,500 per person to subsidise free entry for the KIST students. Your support is enabling these students exposure to resources not readily available at KIST and we thank you for your patronage.

For more info on architecture in Rwanda check out: http://rwanda-arcbox.blogspot.com

I bumped into Ailin at some party somewhere in Kigali and, after briefly being accosted by her with a fairly accurate Scottish accent (accurate for a Californian) I learned a bit about her theatre project here and wanted to share it. So… here’s what she’s up to:

Well hello there, who are you?

I’m a London-based theatre director originally from California. I’m the artistic director of Theatre Temoin, a company dedicated to international collaborations in the creation of new works of physical theatre that are daring, socially engaged, and fun.

What are you doing in Rwanda?

I a currently working with a team of 3 other theatre facilitators and a group of 30 recently demobilized child soldiers at the Child Rehabilitation Center in Musanze to devise a play about the boys’ experiences, and their hopes and concerns about reintegration and return. The piece will be performed at Ishyo Arts Center in Kigali on April 27th at 7pm.

What gave you the idea to work on a project like this?

With the support of the Mary Elvira Stevens Travelling Fellowship, I am spending 2011/2012 running a series of theatre projects with ex-combatants around the theme of homecoming and return. I first became interested in the subject when I was in London creating “Nobody’s Home,” a modern retelling of the Odyssey which used the Odysseus story (of the long “fight to get home” after war) as a framework for exploring post-war trauma and soldiers’ homecomings. The piece toured to the USA in 2010, and as part of this tour we ran workshops with US Vietnam-war Vets. These workshops were an incredible experience for all of us, and I decided to dedicate more time to the subject.

Why did you choose Rwanda as one of your destinations?

I had been to Rwanda in 2009 to devise a theatre piece, “Ni Ibya Buri Wese,” with a group young theatre artists from Never Again Rwanda’s semi-professional troupe One Family. I fell in love with Rwanda and knew it would be an incredible experience to come back and work with ex-combatants who had a different perspective and narrative than the one I connected with when I came in 2009.

What has the reaction been of the Rwandans you’re working with to the world of theatre?

The boys love it. They are also natural performers. We’ve found that the theatre is a place that they can truly “play” with their deepest hopes and fears about the incredible journey of transition that lies ahead of them. I once had a clown teacher who told me, “play your imbalances, so that they don’t play you.” The Musanze boys are teaching me that the same can be said of trauma and fear: “Play your fears, so that your fears cannot play you.”

How has working on this project impacted you?

I think the lasting impression that I have come away with is the incredible joy, hope, and youthful playfulness that these boys embody. With Kony and all of the internet campaigns going viral these days, we are inundated with images of misery and despair, and “child soldier” is a term that tends to drum up a lot of angst and pity. These boys don’t need pity. They need a platform, a stage to shine upon. They are joyful, truly joyful, like all children. They are children. They are boys. And I hold great hopes for their future.

What are you hoping to accomplish during your time in Rwanda?

To make some friends, to learn something new, to surprise some people, to build bridges.

Is there any way for interested volunteers to get involved with you on your project?

Come see the show! It’s free, and sharing it is the entire point of the work. And spread the word to as many people as you can. Aside from that, there’s a day of workshops between the Musanze boys and the Never Again Youth Clubs on April 28th, and also an associated debate about art and reconcilliation on June 28th, the best person to contact if you want to be involved in either of those is Ariane Zaytzeff at ariane.zaytzeff@gmail.com.

Are you funding the project on your own or supported by an organisation?

The play itself is funded by the American Embassy, and is receiving generous in-kind support from the RDRC, Ishyo Arts, and the French Embassy. The workshop day and a video of the process are being funded by generous friends and private supporters, if you’d like to help out visit our Kickstarter page.

You’re working in various other countries as well… what’s connecting the idea behind this?

The honest truth is I picked countries I had collaborators in and knew I wanted to work in. I picked Lebanon because I’ve been trying to get out there for a long time and there is a rich history of art and conflict there, so it seemed to fit. Since I was going to Lebanon, I thought I should go to Israel as well, to really dive into the heart of a project that is – at its heart – about synthesizing and reconciling competing narratives. Rwanda I picked based more on my history of work with genocide survivors here, and the idea that I’d be coming this time to work with former FDLR, so again, working to integrate different perspectives.

What will the finished product look like?

The finished product here will be the performance at Ishyo. In terms of the overarching “product,” I’m working with a playwright who will be synthesizing my experiences this year into a play which my company will stage in London in 2013. But I think that in a way, that’s more of a 5th project than a culmination of the other four. Each individual project carries its own weight, and each will affect my future work for many years to come.

Bowling has come to Kigali! I heard a rumour (ok, maybe I started the rumour…) that a bowling alley was going to be a part of Kigali City Tower and it’s come true! Well, sort of. It’s not at KCT, but instead tucked under a custom-built shed next to the pool at Mamba Club.

I guess Mamba with all of its sporty options (volleyball, table tennis, swimming, pool tables) is a logical location for Kigali’s first and only bowling alley – and they’ve done it right. It’s the real deal, folks. Six lanes of ball-rolling fury complete with the TV screen keeping score, ball returners, shoe rental, and slidy, polished alleys. It’s great!

My favourite (and more terrifying) part is the pin collection… it’s done by hand which means random arms thrusting out into the lane. It adds a whole new element of horror to bowling when you think the pin collection guy is done, but an arm appears as your ball is careening down the lane. I’m not sure why they put the set of new pins before they’re finished collecting the ones that are knocked over. Maybe this is extreme bowling? Well, extreme for the pin collector, anyways. I hope they get danger pay.

Your first game costs Rwf 3,000 per person and the second is Rwf 2,500 each. I think there’s space on the scoreboard for six players per lane. We got two lanes without a problem on a Thursday night but if you have your heart set on bowling, it might be smart to reserve by calling 0788513438. The lanes are open from noon until midnight (although they’ll stay open later if there are people still playing).

Mamba Club has food and, as I mentioned, a pool and other sporty activities. It makes a great place to spend a day, especially for families. Or come at night where everything is quiet and the focus is on the bowling action. It’s something different for a night out in Kigali and I had a lot of fun.

I guess the Serena Hotel in Kiyovu is considered the best place in town. Judging by the occasional setup of metal detectors and sweeps of the gym by small armies of security staff from various nations, I’m guessing it’s where politicians and the world’s important people all stay.

So, while I treat myself and splash out an obscene amount of money (to pretend I’m fancy) for a gym membership, I’d never really considered eating at the restaurants. Besides having the buffet once or twice at the upstairs restaurant, eating here on any sort of regular occasion was deemed too scary on the budget.

But, as it turns out, while not cheap, it’s not as appallingly expensive as I would have imagined, especially considering the crazy price of the rooms here. The cocktails are pretty pricey with one coming in at Rwf 10,500 but a meal can be had for half that price. Most dishes cost around Rwf 6,000. One of the best bargains on the menu is the veggie burger for Rwf 3,000. It’s big and pretty tasty, too. You can replace fries with a basic salad (tomatoes, onion, lettuce) and dressing but it’s actually pretty big too.

The tomato soup is small for the Rwf 3,500 you pay so beware. I’d heard that the salads were pretty small too but I was happy with the size of the Nicoise salad for Rwf 4,500. Expecting it to be tiny, I actually ordered that along with chicken wings (which had a slight fishy taste to them… I guess because of the fryer. I hope.) and had way too much food. The steak sandwich is good and the pesto pasta, while not my favourite, is gigantic. So I guess if you’re hungry, choose one of the pasta dishes for Rwf 5,500.

The setting is pretty nice, beside the pool. You can talk loudly on your mobile phone and pretend you’re a VIP. Or if you’re a gym member or are staying at the hotel (or maybe even if you’re not?) you can park yourself on one of the deck chairs, pull up a small table and eat your meal while soaking up some sun surrounded by papyrus, the second most awesome member of the grass family (behind bamboo, of course). Watch our for the occasional mouse or rat-like beasty roaming through the trees that surround the pool. Cats have also been spotted leaping out of the trees, scaring the crap out of me.

So if you want to pay just a little bit more than your average restaurant but want a good meal in a nice setting, wander down to the side of the pool at the Serena. Good service, pretty fast and not as expensive as you’d think. The food doesn’t live up to what you’d expect from the ‘best hotel in town’ but it’s good.