2^nd June, 2010

Dear Editor,

Thanks for featuring a picture of my show SKITCH TEASE (which involved me posing “nude” with my accordion) on your front page on 2^nd June.  It was great publicity for the Cabaret Fringe but also I was interested to see that the picture provoked some strong responses from readers.

Bob Beaner of Riverton commented, “If the comedic songs, stories and comments on her single life are interesting enough then surely Miss Skitch could perform without the nudity.” Bill of Gawler also agreed and wrote, “One can only hope that this rubbish is not supported in any way by the SA Govt and the tax payers”

(http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/baring-all-for-the-cabaret/story-e6frea83-1225874199787)

I would like to assure these readers that the material in my show has been developed and performed over the last ten years FULLY CLOTHED and brings the house down every time!  I also feel the need to reiterate that the accordion is strategically placed and so it creates the ILLUSION that I am naked.  The imagination is a powerful thing isn’t it?  (Bob and Bill’s comments are testament to this!).

I believe it is the role of artists in society not only to entertain but also to provoke thought and debate.  And it seems that my new show SKITCH TEASE has achieved both these things!

Kind regards,

Liz Skitch

A very important part of surviving this marathon is having somewhere half decent to stay. But the mission is finding accommodation has started to become more challenging for me in recent years as I am no longer in my early twenties and happy go lucky enough to share a room with 6 other randoms and possibly bed bugs. And there was not way I could afford a REAL flat – like the ones promoted for short term stays by Real Estate Agents advertising apartments that could only be afforded by artists if they formed the world’s largest spoon chain in the living room!

What was I going to do??!!! I revisited the Adelaide Fringe Festival website for the 100th time thinking; “It’s only two months away…surely there will be NOTHING on the accommodation billboard!”… when I saw an add for an opportunity that was too good to be true:

A local couple, working in the arts, had decided to turn their study into a bedroom by literally putting in a mattress of the floor, curtains over the windows and a door over the hole in the wall. The rent was miniscule …so what was the catch??

I rang the number and asked to talk to Jenn and she answered… She seemed normal. She seemed lovely! Then she said,“The room is still available, come stay!”.

So next thing you know I am on the plane headed 1500 km SW from Brisbane and the anxiety fuelled questions start to naw at my brain and the minature bottle of wine I’ve consumed only fuels them, “What will their place be like? What will they be like? What if they are strange??? What if I end up decomposing in a tank in their back yard!!! Why did I spend $7.50 on the world’s smallest bottle of wine!!!!???”

I arrive in the city of churches not a church in sight. It is 11 o’clock…. It is late.. will they be up? DON’T BE STUPID- THEY WORK IN THE ARTS!!!!

I get in and Jenn opens the door- she is only just home from work and throwing off her shoes. Her boyfriend is cracking a beer- he is a photographer still at uni and currently on holidays and hence always opening some sort of alcoholic beverage… my head screams, “Swingers!!!”

Sorry to disappoint the more adventurous readers but they didn’t turn out to be murderers or sexual deviants (with the exception of their dog, Tiger, who DID occasionally tried to root me or my matress).

So what was it like living with two total strangers for 5 weeks? Well after about 5 minutes we discovered we had so much in common that it felt like we had always known each other.

They are two of the best people I have met in my life. Their cool disposition, go with the flow attitude, unconditional support for my show way before they had even seen it- MY GOD! You can’t put a price on that kind of in kind support!!!

And now that I am back in Brisbane, we are still helping each other with networking and our companies are already materialising cultural exchange on a grass roots level. I believe this is truly the future for independent theatre companies!

Liz runs Brisbane based theatre company, deBASE productions. She premiered her solo show SKITCH TEASE at the Adelaide Fringe earlier this year and recently performed a return season in Adelaide at the Cabaret Fringe Festival.

Jenn runs Adelaide based theatre company, “vitalstatistix” and also independently produced PICKLED at the 2010 Adelaide Fringe.

If you are interested in renting out a room or billeting an artist- express your interest to your local festival- no matter how big or small it is.

It's tiny! It's red! Yes- I play it in the nude!

I am nearing the end of what has been a one month fling with hundreds of different people who have payed money to come and see me perform my comedy show, SKITCH TEASE, each night at the Adelaide Fringe Festival wearing nothing but a tiny red piano accordion.

And tiny is the operative word- just before flying down, my old piano accordion busted so I took it to Primo Pinn (Brisbane’s one stop Accordion Shop…well to put it more accurately, Brisbane’s one stop Accordion Shed… located out the back of Primo’s house in Macgregor).  He frowned, pulled it apart and after much prodding and more frowning he announced  (in an accent which is disappointing neither Italian nor German but broad Australian) “I can’t fix this in time love-”.  You can probably imagine that at this point I was feeling pretty nervous.  Then he disappeared into his shed and emerged with a TINY red accordion and said, “But you can have this one”.   (Please note, it looked even tinier when held by Primo who is a 6ft 4, broad shouldered, giant of a man).  I hesitated, wondering if it would cover my privates, he warned, “Take it sweetheart or I’ll change my mind”.   “I suppose I can perform the act sitting down”, I squeaked, giggled and the rest is history.

Primo had no idea what I was planning to do with his tiny red piano accordion but since borrowing it I have been sending him various press clippings and photos of his squeezebox and its adventures… I haven’t had this much fun since stealing my neighbour’s garden gnome!

I think local street mag “Rip It Up” summed up my reasons for doing this better than I could myself:

“Any smart performer knows that as soon as you stick the words “nude”, “sex” or “Twilight” in the description for your Fringe show, you’ll instantly prick interest (or is that interest pricks?)”

But marketing is not my only motivation for taking it all off (and then strapping it on).  When it comes to art making, I have always dared to be different and at age 33, what can I say? I have tried pretty much everything; from throwing myself on a bed of goon bladders as a form of circus stunt to developing a strange addiction to wearing Mumus.  It is hard to be original- particularly at the second largest Fringe in the world with over 700 acts- but here I am, the only nude accordionist at the festival.  And it is not as though I went straight to nudity, I had dabbled in nude suits for a number of years and it was time to take off the training wheels.

This concept made perfect sense to me, however, was a bit much for poor old Mum and Dad, who expressed their concern by sitting me down and announcing, “Lizzie, we are worried that you are going to ruin your reputation”.  To which I responded, “What reputation?! That is the whole point of the exercise- I am trying to GET ONE!!!”.

And in the end, there was no need to be worried about hordes of dodgy men in overcoats showing up for the wrong reasons…although there was that one show attended by a bunch of boys on a bucks night…but they were sufficiently titillated and thankfully pretty well behaved.  Turns out that the show mostly attracted middle aged to elderly couples… not unlike my Mum and Dad!

So how was the show received?  I liked the Adelaide Advertiser reviewer’s balanced opinion of the show:

“While her skills on the accordion are unlikely to blow you away, Skitch’s effervescent persona, clever blend of humour and nice touch or crowd interaction are likely to bring smiles and laughter.”

What next? I will be performing a season of SKITCH TEASE at The Brisbane Powerhouse from 20th-  22nd May, until then, I think I will be heading to Primo’s for some weekly accordion lessons!

Don’t get me wrong- I really like this guy, he is seriously dishy and I could easily find being in his company addictive… But the fact of the matter is that we are really busy people with opposite schedules at the moment and so it has been physically impossible to be together. Bad timing. But maybe it is good timing??? After all, I always find that relationships move far too quickly early on and by the second date you feel like you could say, “Could you put the bins out darl?” Which really kills the romance.

And no I am not talking kinky texting! Although sometimes it gets a teensy bit naughty- like the other night I had to go to hospital to get a spider bite checked out. I texted him, “The hot nurses are all inspecting my bum” (where the bite was located). And he texted back, “Are they sucking the venom out for you?”

Gone are the days of long letters and poetry… but maybe texting is the next best thing?!! His texts make me lol, they make me ☺, and sometimes they even give me tingles all over (there isn’t an emoticon for that yet). We even had a text off the other day, sending line for line the lyrics of Young MC’s “Bust a Move”. Needless to say this really is a unique and special textual relationship.

So what next? Well texting is all I need right now and I think it is just right for him too. And as it so happens, I have just arrived in Adelaide where I’ll be performing at the Fringe for the next four weeks- so texting is the only option. And if we manage to survive a long distance textual relationship???

Bust a move!

I think he was genuinely surprised that I agreed to meet up… the fact that the date was dressed up in the form of tickets to see Lily Allen did help.  Still, I think he is pretty lucky that I said yes – after all- he is the one that dumped me all those years ago.  We lasted a few months but in the end he told me that I wasn’t cool enough for him.  Nor did I want to be- I have always considered “coolness” a disease that kills individualism and makes one self absorbed and often paranoid.   But these days- I seem to have  become “cool” by default- and therefore desirable to the kind of guy who want to spice up his life with an alternative actor type.

So how was the date?  Lily Allen was brilliant!  But how was the date?  Lily Allen really was fantastic! 

But no- I have to admit that hanging out with the old flame was undeniably fun.  We stood up the back, drank beer, caught up and it kind of felt a bit like we were teenagers again- cute!

And the blog ends here- after all- my mother reads this!  But my mind did play out the fantasy of trying it again for old times sake.  It would go like this:

Me:               My, My, haven’t you grown!

Him:            Check out my new moves

(Later, morning)

Him:           I can’t believe that the girl I dumped 15 years ago has become the woman of my dreams. 

Me:             Wow that’s really nice but I’m sorry, you’re just not cool enough for me.

Or even worse, when you signpost that you are “single” and “looking for commitment”, suddenly every bald man you know wants to take you out for a coffee. 

The reality is that I have just come out of a long term relationship with a guy who was more Mr I’m Right than Mr Right and I am enjoying being free- to – do- what- I- like- any- old- time.   

I love not having to make someone else’s sandwiches or to fold their underpants. 

I love waking up on a Saturday morning and deciding what I am going to do with MY weekend. 

I love making sentences using I not WE and MY not OUR.

But most of all I love going on dates (with men with hair).  Getting to know people from scratch, hearing stories for the first time and never knowing what is just around the corner. 

So next time I find myself at a Karaoke bar, I intend to steer away from “Single Ladies” because quite frankly, right now I don’t want anybody to “put a ring on it”.  Instead, I’ll select “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and belt it out like its 1983!

Maybe I am noticing this more because I have entered my thirties and boys that meet me can hear the ticking of my biological clock (SHHH! I must get mine replaced with a digital one). But whilst I am on the look out for someone to play the male lead in the feature film of my life, I know that I am not going to find him by holding auditions….(Hang on- auditions- that is not such a bad idea!)  Rather, I see myself as a dating pilgrim, enjoying the journey as opposed to being fixated with the destination. 

The challenge, however, is finding someone who wants to join me on the journey beyond the first date.  Now I could take this very personally and quit dating all together but I thankfully have a massive ego, which reassures me that it is not me- it’s them.  In Japan, they are calling this new breed of men who cannot even commit to a cup of coffee let alone to a romantic dinner, “Soushoku-Danshi”- Herbivore Males.  And their biggest fear is being snagged by a “Nikushoku- Onna”- Meat Eating Female. 

These Herbivore Males display a wide range of behavioural patterns from “trying to make themselves better people” to thinking that the next hair cut will “shave years off”.  They display the emotional ability to fall in love but only with themselves.  Mostly metrosexual in presentation, they spend most of their time making excuses.  They are not particularly good at making excuses, but they are sufficient to at least, to make the Meat Eating Female lose patience and move onto other prey.

In conclusion Dear Readers, I will share with you some of the real life excuses that I have encountered from herbivore males over the past year and the things I wish I had have said at the time (comedy equals tragedy plus time)!

HIM 1-            We would be a great couple- if only we lived in the same city.

ME-                  Well Move!

HIM 2-            I can’t come over tonight I am feeling sick.

ME-                  But I make such a good nurse!

HIM 2-            I’m tired.

ME-                  I have other costumes too…

HIM 3-            I think I’d better go home, I’m trying to be good.

ME-                  Since when did boys start sounding like girls?

HIM 4-            You want kids and I am not ready for that.

ME-                  But you are over thirty and balding!

HIM 5-            I know your Ex too well.

ME-                  Why don’t you date him then!

HIM 6-            I only just broke up with someone and want to be single for a while.

ME-                  Me too!

HIM 7-            You are the most interesting girl that I have ever met….but-

ME-                  But what?? You prefer the dull ones??!!

Skitch Tease

An intimate cabaret experience with comic actress, Liz Skitch who sings songs, shares stories and delivers punchy one- liners while wearing nothing but heels, fishnets and a tiny red squeezebox.

“Phenomenal comic talent” (Scene Magazine)

“Skitch’s effervescent persona, clever blend of humour and nice touch of crowd interaction bring smiles and laughter.” (The Advertiser)

“A box of sparklers set alight and tossed into the night.” (The Courier Mail)

“Arty and Tarty”  (DB Magazine)

Liz Skitch Biography

Best known for her helium injected comic stylings and accompanied by a little red accordion, Liz is a much- loved Brisbane based comedian, actress and theatre maker.   She has performed as a Gooney Girl, a stand up comedian, and has toured the country with Bell Shakespeare and Queensland Theatre Company.  Liz also writes and directs shows for deBASE productions. Established in 1998, deBASE creates brilliant new comedies for young people and a wider audience. Their shows include:  “The Clown from Snowy River” and “Chasing the Lollyman”.

Okonomiyaki Lunch with Nanka Youkai Actors, Nobu-san and Naomi-san

The Obaachan (The Grandmother, played by Nobu-san) is wearing traditional dress of Kimono and kneels on a small wooden platform which is dressed as a room in her tiny house. She has been kneeling that way for about twenty minutes now, waiting patiently for the 150 or so small children to settle on the floor in front of the playing space. Whether in Japan or Australia, it never ceases to amaze me how many kindergarten children you can fit into a relatively small room- they are so tiny!!!

Sound fills the space (from everywhere it seems) and the show begins with the forth wall being broken by the Obaachan who addresses the children. “Konnichiwa” she says. “What beautiful faces you have!” and the children beam up at her. The Obaachan then reminisces about the games of her childhood and introduces us to some of the unusual things that happen in her house. Little furry characters appear from nowhere (the show is full of beautifully executed magic and illusion), we are introduced to a magical mirror, and then we hear the voice of her long lost imaginary friend calling her. The sound design is an integral part of this show and helps to create a full sensory experience as little speakers placed around the room produce ghostly sounds. Early into the show I jump with fright when a speaker placed right behind me produces an eerie sound that takes me by surprise.

Eventually, the voice of the long lost imaginary friend cannot be ignored and the Obaachan disappears through the magical mirror into a strange world (where we meet a magical shop keeper). It is here that Obaachan finds her imaginary friend in a tragic state of paralysis, because it has been so long since she has played with anyone. So the Obaachan, together with a strange shop keeper play game after game after game with the doll like imaginary friend until she is moving around, free as a bird. They play Kakurembo (Hide and Seek), Daruma (Statues)…the list goes on and on and this culminates in a slow motion movement routine, which together with magical illusions and sound created the most moving theatrical experience that I have ever had in an in schools show.

The show finishes with the Obaachan packing up her belongings into a cane basket, which she straps to her back and exits the room through the audience, holding her characterisation through to the very end.

The first time I meet Nobu-san out of character I am surprised to see how young she is- her characterisation completely fooled me. Not only is she a beautiful actor but like all the best actors, she is a great devisor and created this work on the floor with director Ken Nakajima (the man with the midas touch). And with the sound designed by the marvellous Tomokatsu Magario (who also designed the sound for Nan-de Man and Furato Burato) I am not surprised that Nanka Youkai is indeed a masterpiece.

Tobe! Hikkouki

As a performer, I am usually filled with dread when I arrive at a school to do a show and we are lead to the gymnasium. They are vast spaces not dissimilar to empty aeroplane hangers; too big for little shows and often over- filled with children. The poor performers often end up at one end of the gymnasium, over articulating and projecting to accommodate for the terrible acoustics, over acting to reach the children at the back. However, since arriving in Tokyo and seeing how Kazenoko play these spaces, I will approach them completely differently from now on.

While in Tokyo, I get to see a number of Kazenoko’s larger scale works for primary school children- and the first is titled Hans (A Japanese adaptation of a Hans Christian Anderson tale). There are about three hundred children in the audience but all have a perfect view because rather than stage the show at one end of the hall and have the children at the back miss out (as is so often the case in school performances in Australia) this production is to be performed in the round. The large round stage sits about half a meter above the ground and four catwalks shoot out, dividing the stage into quarters, to the edges of the auditorium, creating wings for the actors to make their entrances and exits from. “How long did it take them to set this up?” I whisper to Kumiko, conscious of the fact that a big part of the job of performing in schools is the ‘bump in’ and ‘bump out’ of the set. Kumiko tells me that they have been at the school since six o’clock this morning. The time is now eleven am. This is a hard working troupe.

The children are thoroughly engaged and at one stage, some of the children start cheering “Hans! Daijoubu da yo! Dekiru yo!” (“Hans you can do it! I’ll be alright!”). And the climax of the piece has the audience screaming with delight as a twelve -foot tall ghost (puppet) swings over the heads of the children, close enough for them to reach out and touch it!

My trip to Tokyo is also perfectly timed to see preview performances of Kazenoko’s latest large scale creation for primary schoolers, Osana Boshi no Utatta ne (Song of the Little Star) and a work that has been in repertoire for 20 years now, Tobe! Hikouki! (Fly! Aeroplane!). Both shows were in re-rehearsal in preperation for their up and coming tours to Hokkaido and both are designed to play to audiences of up to 700.

Osana Boshi no Utatta ne (Song of the Little Star) features a cast of eight and is possibly the most ambitious piece of theatre I have ever seen staged for children (sans lighting and multi media). However, director Ken Nakajima, working with his actors, a brilliant composer and oodles of imagination, has skilfully adapted this tale from a children’s book for the stage. Full of images and characters that are indeed, out of this world, it tells the story of a sleepy little boy who loses his mum and dad and travels to a distant planet to rescue them. Full of flight and fantasy, like Hans, this work is designed for large audiences in large spaces and features a revolving stage (which is turned by the actors themselves- no machinery) masks and a giant puppet (created out of poles and swathes of material).

Tobe! Hokouki! (Fly Aeroplane!) utilises the stage of the school gymnasium and features the addition of a long catwalk like stage, not unlike those seen in Kabouki. The actors move about on top on the stage and underneath it, popping out of man- holes unexpectedly to create great excitement amongst the audience.

I believe that theatre companies in Australia can learn from the Japanese in-schools touring model. This is not to say that there is not still a place for smaller, more intimate shows that can tour to Kindergartens and Pre-schools. However, when it comes to primary schools and high schools, we should be more imaginative in our staging and spend a little more time in the bump in and bump out so that the show can be enjoyed by a larger audience. I need to stress at this point that this does not mean larger casts, but it might give the theatre companies a little more freedom to start employing casts of up to four again, instead of the current restriction of one or two.

Inturn we can create a more efficient touring model, in which the tours are shorter, the audiences are larger and inturn more revenue is generated. This model makes a lot of sense particularly in a country like Australia, where we sometimes travel days to get to the next town.

However, audiences don’t magically appear and this is where we can also learn from Japan. Theatre Companies in Japan offer their work to schools on a one off buy in basis. For example, for a three person show the cost is approximately $2200 Australian Dollars. It is then up to the school to gather the students together to make the ticket price as cheap as possible. Inturn, schools work together and with the wider community to attract an audience.

The current in schools touring system in Australia relies heavily on subsidy and charges schools per student (the current cost for a show in Queensland is $6). This has inturn created a culture of complacency amongst school teachers in Australia who might book a show visit their school but it will only be shown to the grade nines because they are the only ones studying that unit at the time. So shows travel long distances to perform to one hundred kids in a school that has a potential audience of 700.

Funding for the Arts is particularly needed in a country like Australia because our population is so small. However, we can learn a lot from Japan, whose Arts Organisations receive less government funding than ours and many are forced to survive soley on ticket sales (Interview with Yukinori Ohno, Vice President, Assitej Japan Centre, 26. 08. 09).