Hopefully some of them will take heed! Lindsey Graham is coming for you.

Congress Edits is a Twitter bot that tweets every time a person in US government anonymously edits Wikipedia. This is our favorite edit so far, in which an anonymous person in the House of Representatives added a denial to an article on U.S. politicians being secret alien lizards.

well then, what else can i say today about our reptilian overlords? not much. they’re here, it’s real, and we need to deal with it.

Their comments on the other politicians are likely spot-on though. Kucinich is an interesting possibility – What do you think, readers? Is he for humanity or for eating us?

John Key of New Zealand: Not a Lizard Person

John Key, Prime Minister of New Zealand, recently went on the record stating that he does not believe he is a lizard person. This is not a joke, and it’s excellent news. As we all know, lizard people cannot deny their true nature if they are confronted with it. By directly responding to a question and stating that he’s not a lizard person, I believe that John stands with us.

I’m also fairly sure that he is not a human collaborator of the lizard people, given his statement: “I’ve never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue’s not overly long either.” He knows the signs of the lizard, and has avoided them. Good on you John!

June 6th, 2013:

Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina said Americans have no cause for concern. ‘‘If you’re not getting a call from a terrorist organization, you’ve got nothing to worry about,’’ he said.

What an asshole. This guy, without a doubt, is scheming to devour our children and lay eggs in their heads. If you love your child, figure out a way to get this guy out of elected office. He’s up in 2014.

This is bad news if it’s true – An election dominated by two lizard people is definitely going to further the bad ends of our country and we’re really in trouble then! Luckily, Obama is NOT a lizard person. I know this because his jaw and torso are all wrong. Have you ever seen a tall, skinny lizard? I haven’t either. Reptiles can be tall but they’re huge if so, not skinny or lanky like Obama. Additionally, he’s lacking the lizard jaw and throat that is so well documented in the photos of this blog – There’s no chance he could swallow a human child whole with a tiny jaw like that.

So let’s keep it straight: Obama is not a lizard person.

This might come as a surprise to you, since he’s a pretty public guy. As a result, I came with some evidence besides a photo of him delivering a speech about hard work and eating people at the RNC tonight.

Did you know that Chris Christie once considered running for President for the 2012 elections? It’s true- I read it on the Internet. 

I do have to admire Chris for one thing – He knows how to find clothes that fit him, unlike a certain Vice Presidential candidate that I can think of. I’m not here to bash on the absent resident Joe Biden though.

Tell us about your experiences with Chris Christie eating people and committing extreme acts of reptillian agression in the comments. Thanks!

Sounds like the words of somebody who appreciates who delicious people taste. Just like a lizard person.