Liz's Brain Waves

2012-06-13T09:57:00.002-07:00

I forgot to add if you would like to donate to My team for relay you can donate through my blog . All money that is now donated to it will go to Relay for Life . You helped me have a better life , now I want to help others .

Thank you

Hugs Liz

Sooner than later ......

2012-06-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hey how are all of you today ?

     I have had a pretty intense weekend last week . I walked at Tacoma's Relay for Life , as a survivor ! It is great to see all the people that came out . They were all dressed to the nines . The theme this year was the 60"s , everyone was feeling " Groovy " . Instead of flashing devil signs it was the hand sign for " Love " . Relay is one of those uplifting places . You get to see and hear different stories of pain an hope . Hope being the best medicine ...... BESIDES laughter =D. I encourage you all to attend a Relay for life , so you will know what I am writing about .

    This next year for Relay I hope to raise more than I did this year . ( side note : thank you Dunbars !) I have a few ideas on how to raise more money , but I am open to suggestions . I was thinking of a raffle , maybe selling buttons at different big advents in the community ie; Norwegian fest buttons that say " uffda " or " where's the ludafisk ? " . maybe ethnic fest ? " Kiss me I'm a Tacoman " , " I survived Asarco ! With no problems .... Squirrel !!!!" ( hehehe - that one is my favorite !! ) or " Welcome to the city of destiny !' What's that smell ? Well its the aroma of Tacoma "

If you can think of fun buttons please share ! The money all goes to the greater good for all !

I hope that some of you might get some inspiration off of this . In the Northwest we have more cancer affect people than any other region in the states . Every thing we to to help goes into finding out how to solve the mystery of this life changing event .

     Hugs Liz

Life goes on

2012-04-24T22:13:00.002-07:00

    I know I broke my promise to myself , it's not the 1st or the last I'm sure .

Its been 2+ years since I was a cancer ridden person . I thought I would of been back in the game . I guess I thought higher of myself then I should of . I have a good outlook but I still am super tired ! Grrrrrrr !!! I there for in the course of a week can drink my weight in coffee ( never thought I could say that ) . The jolt that the coffee gives me makes me function like a normal person at precoffee in the morning .

Starting to think about what I would like to do after all this . Lot of ideas flooding in , but when I think about it realistic-eee I think I would be bored , tired , to much work , to many people , to much money , have to stand for to long , or that's a LOT of school ! Top of the list of things I wouldn't mind being is Forest Ranger , candle maker , and taster . I plan on asking for lots of info on all of them . I have wrote the food network about having me on as a judge for iron chef but sadly no reply . =) I think I might have to start writing them twice a month .... candle maker i just think would be peaceful - you would buy a candle from me right ? The last and hardest the Park/ forest Ranger . It would be 4 years of school , two years of outdoor training , first aid , cpr - already have , and I forgot the last one ........

I have been dating a fantastic guy named John ( I call him Pumpkin ;) . Going through all this I never thought I would get a date . I have bald patchy spots from the radiation and the chemo , but the plus I can have any type of hair I want . I have a few wigs annnnddd I LOVE them . Hehehe . He is the best , when I get tired he pushes me or drags me back home . He rubs my feet , He likes my bald spots ! He takes a bus to come see me . He pays to go see movies he knows he is going to hate just because I think they will be awesome !

I am lucky to still have friends , Here is a funny thing You never expect to lose friends when you get sick but for me that was not the case . At first I was kinda hurt but in the end I love the ones that stuck around to help or just share a joke or two .

I know all this is a little debbie downer of a add but I want to be honest with my feeling and my out look on this experiance in my life . I actually as of the last year have been the happiest I think I have been in a long time . I am surrounded by people who care an love me . It is a good feeling .

          I got a lot of love to give ~

                         Hugs Liz

One year plus One Month

2011-02-27T00:31:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth was diagnosed Jan 4, 2010. Her tumor was removed on the 5th, she began radiation late January, and when completed went on to chemo. The rounds were three weeks of treatment with three weeks off to recuperate; after a year of chemo she was pronounced done. This means she now needs to rebuild her white cells and build up her immune system; rest up and take on the world. To that end she seems to be in good spirits; she still is uncommitted to what she wants to do with the rest of her life, but true to herself, she won't be pushed by her parents, sister or friends. She will work out what she wants to do and let us know when SHE'S ready.

As a family we have spent more time together this past year than the previous four. That was a blessing for Jim and I. As all parents know when their kids are adults there are times when parents are very low on the priority list. So we were grateful for this opportunity to have so much face-time.

So many in our community have come forward to help Elizabeth. Everyone has been so generous. The truth is we can never payback your kindness, but are ever so grateful for all that everyone has done. As Elizabeth reenters the "real world" again I hope to have her blog just a wee bit, but in the beginning we asked her to do this so everyone would know what was up without repeating the same story over and over. It was not her idea, and you can tell by the lack of posts that she is not really focused on this now. I did want to drop in to catch everyone up on what IS going on with her now.

In closing this post… many will ask what is the outcome? Well, we won't be told any outcome. The doctors won't give us any prognosis. So she has frequent blood draws and they check her blood for any signs of cancer; as long as the tests remain clear the appointments we be spaced further and further apart until they are quarterly. They think that will be the protocol for the rest of her life, as long as the tests come back negative. Your prayers, good wishes and kindness are always welcome. Thank you.

So it wasn't the day after .....

2010-11-15T12:35:00.001-08:00

Sorry it took a few days , I had a social hang over ( I did to much ) . Thursday night was awesome ! I took my sister and my friend Jessica up to Seattle to see my other friend Jessica Rosa aka Boom Boom la Rue preform in a show . It was fantastic ! Good music , new moves mixed with classic moves , some skits to jazz others to rock . A classic can-can and a reverse strip tease . The show had it all ! I made them get there early so we could find parking and get a good spot . After we went around the block we found a parking place . I went to pay the attendant I was short like 4 bucks it was either give him a tip, he had no change he was waiting for his manager to bring him some , or ask him if I could be back with some change . He looked at me pulled out his wallet and paid for me . I was just floored ! I walked up to Jess and Sister and told them what happened and while I was telling them I realized I had my wig on . I am AMAZED at the power of hair . I look at them an I said " I think it is because I have like hair right now " yes I said it totally valley not meaning to . Jess started cracking up . She turns an looks at me flips her hair over her shoulder and says " Oh my god ! I'm so pretty with hair ! And I like get shit for free ! I'm like way hot ! " . I kinda blushed but laughed . It was pretty funny . I'm kinda use to the way people look at me when I have a scarf on , its more of the ugly duckling / poor you / i'm glad i'm not you / i use to be you followed by awkward stranger hug sometimes the other person crying and then the stay strong speech , yet when I wear the wig most just ask what I got my scars on my chest from . I have to admit I have made up stories . It makes it not as tedious to deal with plus it's entertaining for me =) . My favorite one i have told some one was I was stabed by my sister with a meat fork ! hahaha you should of seen her face . She looked at me like your sisters crazy then Sister at me around the corner and I interduced karyn . As I finished I pointed to my chest and then made the shhh sign . I've never seen someone scurry away so fast . Hahaha also the other funny part is that there is now someone out there who thinks my sister is fliping crazy . For some odd reason that thought warms my heart . =)

Well besides tormenting Sister , I have been baking cookies . Sister gave me a challenge . To bake ALL the cookies in the Betty Crocker Cookie Cook Book . Having grown up making cookies from that book I thought to myself well I think I have made almost all of them ... not even close I think I have made like 40 of the different kinds . So i added up the cookies 146 if I bake 2 types of cookies a week , then make the normal 12 to 14 different kind of Christmas cookies it should take me about a year . I will be smelling like a cookie for ever !!

A long but nice week

2010-11-11T16:05:00.000-08:00

Well I think I found out why sick people need so many blood transfusions . It's not that we bleed out or that our blood is unhealthy . It's due to the fact that twice a week ( if your lucky ) you get a blood draw to mak sure you are healthy . Heathy enough to be treated . Well I know when I go in for a blood draw they take 3 different vials of blood . Plus theres the blood they draw out to make sure all the flush stuff is out and they draw only blood . Then they draw out for me about 9oz of blood . doesn't seem like much but think of it this way a pint is 16 oz hence the term a pounder glass . So in a given month they take over a pint !!! Then they tell me that I need 2 pints to balance back out . hahaha It's a goood thing I love the staff at T.G. !

What have I been up to ? Thanks for asking ! =) I have been kinda on the down low . I have gone out a little but generaly this week I have been cozy at home in front of my faux fire place heater . I try an stay warm but sometimes I need help to warm the bones . Tonight though I am going out ! An old friend from Fenster is in a show tonight . I gathered up the troops and we are trotting off to Seattle for a fantastic show !! I am excited to get out of the house and city for a few hours . I will write about tomorrow after I wake up from my I had to much fun social coma .

the vampires give back

2010-11-02T11:34:00.000-07:00

Today I have the pleasure of a nice relaxing day at Tacoma General . I sit in a over sized chair that makes me feel like I am 8 years old while I get transfused with new A+ blood . The nurses here take such good care of me . I've never seen a group of people as a whole have such a great over all attitude . I know how hard it can be to remain nice when dealing with the public . Everyone has a different way to say something wires get crossed and they still smile at you and say " We will figure this out and every thing will be right " . I like that they treat very person with the same amount of worth . I think that says alot about the group conscience .

I am getting two pints of blood today . I should of seen this coming my the bags under my eyes went all the way to my cheek bones . Last time they looked that bad was before i had my tumor removed . The last time I got transfused I did not feel that boost of energy that they all say you get . In fact I believe I went home an slept for 2 days . I am hoping for that feeling ! My fingers are crossed . It is a odd feeling to feel good so when it happens I try and make the most of it ! =) Like going for a walk or going out with some friends .

This last week was filled with small mini adventures for me . Might be part of the reason I am getting transfused today .... On Friday Sister and I went to a benefit that had a casino theme . After we ate we hit the tables craps blackjack texas hold'm and the one with the ball and wheel drawing a blank on the name . I am proud to say I lost all my money and had a great time doing it. It was the 1st time I have gotten dressed up also . I was lucky enough to have a friend with great taste and a shrinking waist give me some clothes that made me look hot hot hot ! I will be up front and say it was the 1st time while in treatment that I just felt like a normal girl . Earlier in my treatment I had bought a wig and I barely ever wore it due to the itchy factor . Well I had a lady give me a great skull cap that didn't make my head ubber hot or itchy I was in heaven . It felt good to have people say they liked my hair . Losing my hair I still believe has been the most dramatic part of this whole thing , and I didn't even like my hair ! It was thin and lifeless would not hold a curl , I couldn't even rat my hair to get a bump when it was short . THe glory of wigs has allowed me to have the hair I have always wanted . I like it . Easy too . I highly recomend for anyone .

Saturday Sister , mom and I carved pumkins . Ming was going to but she ended up only having a little bit of time so she hollowed out 2 pumkins in like 5 minutes ! I swear it was like watching Top Chef when they do the chop competion . That poor pumpkin didn't stand a chance , orange pulp flying , seeds shooting left and right , it was a frenzie . To say the least . I asked Ming what I should carve since she was leaving at least that way she would feel more apart of it . She said make a lil asian guy as she left . After the door closed I said to myself " An asian guy .... " So I made a Wang Chung of a pumpkin and callled him Mr. Ming ! The trick or treaters loved him ! I had a few ninjas comment on how that was the face of their master . So much fun !

On Satuerday night I went to a murder mystery party . I have never been to one . It was a lot of fun . I was able to be 2 characters . It was a fun group . Full of laughter an I was amazed how everyone was able to stay in their role . I think next time I might opt for a 5 hour energy before the next time . The last hour was tough for me . I started to get light headed and a little tingely . I wanted to eat but I was a little nauseated . I didn't have my meds on me either so I choose to try and tough it out . When I got home I ate a tortilla and felt better .

Sunday was a day to recope . I slept , did laundry , hung with Sister and just let my body take a deep breath and relax . Over all worth it =) . In the last few months I have made some new friends and the more I hang out with them the more I find things in them that I like and would like to someday see in myself or have be more prominate in my every day life .

Kalifornia

2010-10-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of receiving a email when I was on vacation from a girl who lives in the mid west . She wanted to know how I was doing as I hadn't posted a new story/update in a while . At first it made my feel good that some stranger in the midwest was worried about me , then I realized I had started something that I had to follow through with and be better about keeping it up to date . I then felt kinda felt like I let myself down and others . I then had a conversation with myself that ended with me saying to myself " I'm not mad at you just disappointed " . I always disliked hearing that . So I from here on out will try and post something at least every week till I am done with treatment and who knows maybe after treatment too . I would also like to say " Thank you " to you all for your kind thoughts , prayers , good ju-ju , and wishes .

Well lets see I am on my 4th round of chemo right now . They took me off the vancristen due to the fact i was loseing mobility in my feet ! I could no longer walk on my heels . It is a strange feeling not being able to do something that you have been able to do almost all your life . I keep thinking if I think about it hard enough I can Jedi mind my feet to do it . Sadly no matter how hard I try I still can't do it . I think my Jedi powers are in the 70% of the brain I don't use . Yes I know we only use 10% but my " brain child " aka tumor took up 20% so Ifigure I have about 70% . haha well maybe less if you add in the pot smoking and I hear when you sneaze you kill brain cells - weird . So who knows ? Plus the body is always creating new cells and replacing the old with the new . I heard that your whole body is new every 7 years . I thought that was kinnda cool .

I have been having to get more blood draws as this morbid roller coaster goes along . I keep having low blood counts . I am so glad I got a port put in ! I guess the upside if I didn't get the port would be for Halloween I could of gone as a junky , ooooooh I can go out with like a gas station pump and be vampire gas ! hahehehaha . 1500 $ a pint !

Fall is one of my favorite times of the year . I love the changing of colors , crisp air , the crunch of the leafs under my feet , and the smell of the oncoming winter at the tip of my nose . Carving pumpkins the making roasted pumkin seeds yummers ! I love getting dressed up and seeing if people can guess who I am . What are you going to be this year ? I think I am going to try and be Debra from the show Dexter . I think she would be a hoot to be for a day or two .

So now hat I am being more involved with my life I think it might be time to maybe try working al little . I miss having a job . I can't really do much though so here is my plan . Do you want to send out Holiday cards but never have the time ? For a small fee I will do it for you ! I will fold , stuff, address and place your cards in the mail for you . I know it's an odd job to come up with but I figure that during the holidays everyone is always looking for the one thing that there is never enough of ... time . If you are interested call me or sister - it was kinda her idea and I thought it sounded good .

and the beat goes on

2010-09-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

Well I wasn't able to be treated this last Friday due to my low blood counts . My white cells were at 3.71 and they have to be above 10 to get treated . My Doc didn't want me to have another blood transfusion yet so we are giving it a week or two to see if the cells get better . Fingers crossed .

I also Had a CT scan . THey did a non contrast scan and one with . My brain is looking good ! It is weird almost awkward looking inside yourself that way . The area where the tumor was has filled with cf fluid and looks like I know have a black hole ! The good thing is is that there was no whitish / grayish out line where the tumor was nor any thing new . Yippy !!

My few weeks off this last time one of them I spent with the family down at SunRiver . It was nice . I was glad family friend / sudo sister Emily came with us . It gave sister some one to do all high energy type things with . Plus she picks on my dad ! haha he needs and deserves it ! It builds his character .... like he needs more .... I was able to walk around with my mom and not feel frustrated ( she walks slower than I do ) I feel bad but my natural gait is about twice as fast as hers . So when I was healthy it feels awkward to slow your walk and keep it slow . On the same page it feels weird not to be able to walk 4 miles in an hour . So when walking with certian friends I feel like the kid who almost has to runn to keep up - I should just get a wheel chair and my fast friends can push me around =) . I can take off my scarrf and feel the wind in my face as my " patchy hair growth " blows in the breeze . haha .

More blood stuff

2010-09-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

I had a blood draw today it went well . My counts are up and things are looking good . I go in for treatment on Friday . It's my long day so I will be able to write more than . I am ready for my 3rd nap but wanted to drop a line to everyone . Thanks for all of your support !

booster shot

2010-08-15T07:49:00.000-07:00

At 1st I didn't feel better from the blood transfusion . zI thought everyone lied to me about how much better I would feel . I mean I slept the whole 2 days away after . I felt just as sluggish and drained as I did before it . Well I then went in on Friday and they check my counts and they were way up but I still felt way down WTF ! The nurse told me my bodt was most likely useing that energy to accept the blood . I then was given the miracle shot in my belly . I don't know what was in it but about 3 hours after it , oh yeah ! WEeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!

The nurse told me to still give my body a few days before being around people so today is the 1st day that I get human contact other than my family in almost 2 weeks ! I'm so excited to see people . I missed my friends wedding that was yesterday =( , a birthday party on Friday and a bbq on Thursday . I might not stay long at stuff but it is still fun to get out of the house .

In the last week and a half I have watched 2 seasons of Dexter and half a season of Spartacus . I would walk around in circles around the coffee table and get tired haha . I had to move though laying around all day makes the muscles tight and sore . I also have a stretching regimine that I have to do or my whole body wants to go decrepide . I'm afraid my hair will grow back gray and between the decrepidness and the hair people with mistake me for some old lady .

Blood transfusion

2010-08-11T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well today I sit in T.G. on the 4th floor getting a blood transfusion . I find it weird and kinda gross . I think of blood as a personal thing . I mean it runs through my veins my heart it helps power my thoughts , when mad it boils , when scorned by someone it turns cold , when in love it tingles the rest of the senses making knees go weak . I know it sounds dumb that out of all the stuff I have had to have done to me in the last 8 months that this one is the one that bothers me the most . The nurses have done a good job making me feel better about the whole deal . Even though I still have my reserves about the whole thing .

I understand the expression blue blood better now also . The blood I was given today looked almost purple-ish . The lady next to me had a blueish tint to it . I asked her what her blood type was ( I can't remember now ) but it was different then mine . So I am curious if different blood types have different hues to them .... the mind reels ....

Chemo coma

2010-08-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

Well I have slept almost the whole entire last week away . No matter what I do I feel like I am about to pass out . I hate it . I cant get anything done . I was going to go to a wedding reception on Sunday , slept through the whole thing . It like I fall into a coma or something as soon as I fall asleep .

In news in the small . Mom and Dad are preparing for a huge spaghetti feed at their house . Sister has been over there helping a lot . I can't do much in their house . It tires me out after about the 3rd trip up or down the stairs , I need about a 2 hour nap . So I did small stuff folded laundry , loaded dish washer , and made lunch .

Mom is almost more than 3/4 ths done with the deck !! It looks amazing !! She has had some help from various people over the last month but for the most part she has done most of it herself . I hope I have that much energy ..... anytime soon ! =)

SCCA with mom ......

2010-07-23T11:11:00.000-07:00

Karyn thought she might have to work this Friday so I took that and found someone else who could afford a whole day off and kinda needed one , my mom . Sister was beside herself . She looks and me and exclaims " Now I miss out on the movie !! " . I forget sometimes it's all about her . haha .

I reminded Mom at least 4 times " what time are you ogoing to pick me up ? " she would say "6:30 " Now this is important because mom has been known to not go to bed until then . Well she was at a friends house with dad having a ball . Mom normally does not drink but she had the idea that if she had a few glasses that she would be out like a light . Well her theory was right . Still slightly groggy she stammered her way through the house looking for her purse , keys , computer , AND cellphone . At 6;45 I call the house to find out if she has left . Dad replies sheepishly " She left 5 minutes ago ! " . I sit out on the porch for 10 minutes waiting for her . She shows up , I get in the car and she launches into her excuse like a 15 who came home late . We start down the street well at the end of the block she makes a left instead of a right . I said why are we going this way she said " I don't have my computer ! " I shoot her this look like you have got to be KIDDING ME ! Then she turns onto 6th I thought she did this for she knows how much I hate the road on Union . NOPE she needed to get gas ! I had given her 20 bucks the night before and reminded her that she should stop on her way to home depot . I give her my look again , She says that she didn't have time . Dad was yanking at her to hurry because they were going to late for dinner . Well she has me call dad when we hit 21st street so he could bring out her computer .

Well I kinda have that panic feeling when you wake up late and you look at the time and realize that you have to be at work in 5 minutes . I hate that feeling ! It's completly inocent but you can't help but have that pain in your gut . Mom drove and she might of even sped . I won't say if she did or didn't but I made my blood draw with only being 10 minutes late . She made it up here in about 25 minutes ! haha go mom !

IN the treatment room mom kicks back in the recliner and now is snoring next to me . Like I said she needed a day off . She has been kicking butt working on the deck . It is looking amezing ! I can't wait to see it all done . With her new post and all of dads tomato plants . IT should look good , real good .

Wow almost a month .... sorry

2010-07-20T15:43:00.000-07:00

I haven't been a very good blogger lately sorry . I would think about it but then when I would start I would just feel drained or writters block . It sometimes is a challenge for me to do stuff . hnkcvx ( that was Raini saying " Meow " to you all .)

I made through this last round of treatment feeling a bit more drained than normal . After a few days of only sleeping I started to feel better . I even felt good enough to attend the 6th art walk . It was a nice day and I went with people that were willing to go at my pace . It can be a hard thing to do for some . On the ave I was excited to see people I normally don't get to see .

This last weekend I went with 22 other fabulous ladies to Moclips and rented a beach house had a bon fire , made smores , went to the casino , watched sis and lolo on the go-carts , went to the grocery store ( bawhahaha way better than walmart watching it was like condensed walmart you will have to see for yourself ) got my but kicked alll weekend in spite and malice , and a lil in cribbage . The other girls ran around did their hair ( tear ) , Donna gave a make-up class and sold some Mary Kay . The food was awesome ! Had some monkey bread for the 1st time it was good !!! In my opinion the only thing it needed was peacans then I might of stole the pan and locked my self in the bedroom till it was all gone !
Had great conversations met one of the funniest girls I think I have met in years SQUIRREL !!!! Bonded with some charished friends and made some new great memories ! Got to know a few of the other ladies better and even had a chance to make a new friend or two .

While all of that was a blast ! I have spent the last few days recoping . I would say in the activity department I didn't do much but in the socializing aspect of things I did a ton ! I never realized how draining it was for me . I felt kinda bad we were all standing arouind talking about the weekend and all the sudden my inner " turkey is done button " poped out and I looked at the girls and said it's time ! I kinda felt like a 5 year old .

I have my long treatment this friday and I am going up to Seattle with mom . She plans on doing something to computer while I get treatment . We shall see how it goes .

As the treatment turns

2010-06-17T15:44:00.000-07:00

I have treatment tomorrow , hopefully , if my blood cells have balanced out I will . Last week I wasn't able to be treated . My dr. was afraid due to my levels . He told me that he wants to kill the tumor cells and cancer not me . ( My Dr. is a bit OCD about dirt and a few other things ) I told him if he killed me I would haunt him by leaving crumbs every where he went . He said well in that case I will make sure I don't do that then . Then whispered under his breath ' crumbs " followed by a slight chill . He talked about my treatment for a little bit then noticed that Sister wasn't there . He asked me if I came alone I said " No , my mom is getting a cold so I made her wait outside so I don't get sick " He looked at me and said " outside like in the car ? or the waiting room ? " I said " the waiting room " He looked outraged then said " So to save yourself , you put 20 other people in harms way ?" I looked at him weird and then realized what he ment and said " Well , I guess I just didn't think of it that way .... I should though ..... If my system is doing bad I should consider everyone elses is bad too " The he added " it's good that you think of your health the way you do " So I left my appointment feeling kinda like a jerk to everyone in the waiting , felt like I should of gotton all of them an icecream to say sorry . It was a learning day .

This last week was a kinda a good week . I slept alot and my tummy didn't hurt as much . I've been a little light headed lately but I think that might have something to do with the large amounts of coffee that I consume to keep me up and movin .

I was trying to helpful and put some stuff away in the kitchen and the stupid light in the kitchen kept attacking me ! It would just pop up out of no where and hit me in the back of the head . The 1st time in almost put me on my ass . I had to make myself sit down for a second . I went back to it and hit my head like 3 more times . Well the next morning I was using a mirror to see if I had a bruise or any lumps . I thought I saw 2 areas that looked bruised . I asked Sister o take a look . She starts laughing at me and ask me to point to the areas again . She laughs even harder and informs me that the areas that I thought were bruises were areas that were starting to grow hair ! I have to admit I felt conflicted , excited to have hair growning but paniced because it was growning in like a badly scorched yard . I know it's just hair and their are worst things not to have after everything I have been through , but damit ! I like having my own hair ! I fear when I let it grow out I will have to do a comb over . Or I might have to have wigs for the rest of my life . That is the kinda stuff that trouble me the parts of me that will be permanetly effected by the treatment and from the tumor .

1st day of 2nd round

2010-06-10T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well tomorrow I will begin my 2nd round of chemo ! Woooohooo ! Mom has the pleasure of taking me . We will leave Tacoma at 8ish am and be up there till about 5 or 6 . I hopefully will be feeling well enough after all the drugs to make it to the lighting of the luminaries at Relay for Life . It's one of my favorites . I like Relay because it just isn't for one type of cancer . It is a cause for all cancer . I have brain cancer . I look up stuff to educate my self and it seems that when ever I do I run into a boob . Everything thing tends to pretain to breast cancer . I am not saying that boobs aren't a good cause and I am not bitter because I think mine are small , I just find it annoying .

Enough of that ! I am getting to far into my own head ! Haha . Living with Sister is interesting . I am making my own little space but I think it will take me awhile to have it feel like home . When I tell people where I am I still say Sister's house . Not my new place . I think it will come . I was driving with mom the other day and I said mine and sister's place and mom looked at me and said that it sounded forced . I am adjusting . Sister is doing a great job of trying to adjust also . I tend to make her cat take more naps than she normally does so Raini has been on a few midnight rampages at Karyn's expense . While I sleep nice an sound up stairs with the door close .

It is June and the weather is that of may or april . I have to admit I love it when it rains super hard and the sound it makes on the roof . I also enjoy I good thunder storm . I see the dark clouds roll in and I get some what excited . I know I will sleep well as soon as it starts to rain . I have tried the tapes of rain and other nature sounds but they don't work they sound well recorded . I planted a bunch of flowers last week when it was nice an now I wonder if I planted them too soon . I hope that they grow and bloom . I am trying plants I have never had before this year . I have artichoke , sweet peas , yellow squash , and some wild flower mix that helps the bee population . I am so courious to know if the bee one works . That and I hear if you dont prune the artichokes to eat that they bloom into an amazing looking flower . The hard part is going to be not wanting to eat them .... I might just have to only let 1 bloom ....

Beginning of the 2nd set of Chemo: 3rd treatment

2010-06-07T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today I took Elizabeth to have her hearing tested. Because her protocol uses platinum Dr. Chamberlain wanted to get a base-line hearing test. The use of this element can cause hearing loss and they want to monitor it closely. So the results were... very good hearing.

After the test we had agreed to stop at the Burger Barn on Custar Rd in Lakewood. I was very hungry, having only gotten up just before I picked up Elizabeth... she wanted to take the food back home to eat... but I whined and we had a picnic at the drive in. We raised our burgers as a toast to "Grambo", my mom's nickname. It was one of the places she liked to take the kids when they were small for burgers. I love those tie-ins. Being a military family we traveled hither and yon and didn't have "history" with places. We had traditions, but not a memory of places. So it was fun for me to recognize this as a remembrance of my mom.

We talked about Elizabeth's new move in with Karyn and how she enjoys planning dinner for them. She was doing meatloaf and was inspired by the thoughts of meatloaf sandwiches later. I must admit that hearing her describe how she was going to make it made me think it was sounding like a very yummy idea.

But I came home and worked a bit on my deck, placing two tall posts where shorter ones had been and making ready to do the railings. I have a lot to get done and this week promises to have good weather to do it in.

Friday I will take Elizabeth to Seattle for her last in this series of chemo. It will be a long one— lasting up to 8 hours. There is a lot to it. She has already alerted her aunt, Vanessa, to come visit and watch a movie. Her aunt is a cancer survivor and has had liver replacement (due to HepC). She is doing interferon to help rid her of the dreaded disease; and it seems to be working! So that is encouraging. Friday will be a lot of talking and then a lot of sleeping. Everyone seems to nap in this family. I need one. I've been have insomnia issues lately and do not get to sleep until 4 and 5 AM. This isn't healthy for me. I was reading that it can actually cause diabetes if you mess with your inner clock. So I'm going to give that much more attention.

Elizabeth is doing well, she isn't too hungry as she feel poorly if she eats too much and many foods have odd flavors. She is happy with the whole second floor at Karyn's and even put up a mail box for herself at 3615 1/2! Gotta love it. Oh, the address is 3615 1/2 South 9th, 98405... if you want her new address and don't already know it. Her phone is the same.

Thank you for your interest in her well being. It makes me feel very good to know so many are praying for her and wishing her well. She is a wonderful daughter and we wish she didn't have this challenge, but since she does she is facing it with grace and humor. Take care of yourselves.

Elizabeth's Mom, Kathryn

moving week !!

2010-05-27T11:24:00.000-07:00

Well I will be moving in with sister this weekend . She keeps coming over to my house and telling me I don't have that much stuff to do . My mom comes over and tells me I have done next to nothing . I lean more tward mom's thought on the matter . If I was left to myself to pack and clean I would of started 2 months a go . I will pack a box or two then have to take a nap or at least a 0 to 15 min break . Yet , I will say I thought I had done alot of work already . I guess I hide my stuff well , because when it comes out of hiding I have a ton of crap !! I think half the stuff I am moving is stuff I am going to put in mine and sisters garage sale . I mean granted I am a girl there for I have slight shoe fetish but I never realized they would breed under my bed . My Pumas mated with my Poneys now I have Kangaroos . It crazy !!! The worst part is I look at each shoe like it's Salomons child . Give it away would be the right thing but I love the shoe !!! urg ! Why do they make them so darn cute !!! Maybe I will have a walk-a-thon where instead of donations you wear all the pairs of shoes you are going to donate and you do a lap around the feild with all of them tied to you like the back of a " just married " car . Then there could be sprint races in high heels . A slipper suffle for the old folks and mabye a baby bootie bounce off where the babies just bounce in their bouncy chairs . There could be something for everyone . * shivered * ( I just realized how dorky I am =) )

Well any ways so I am moving and for the 1st time ever I decieded to get a truck . I know , I know , I could fit all my stuff in like 9 cars , plus a few random trips . i am over trying to do that . it takes way more time and no matter how good it sounds in your head , it's really not the best idea . I was just cheap or was it that I opted to buy a keg of beer instead in the past to quench everyones thirst who helped me move ? I have actually less stuff now then I did 2 years ago though . I keep purging , all this "stuff " I don't even know why I hold on to some of it . A lot of it is just relentless baggage that I carry from place to place , yet I have no idea why . So as I try to answer that big questions with certian items my pile of " stuff " becomes less and I can feel the freedome of being set free from it . Seriously try it . I started maybe 6 months ago . I turned all my hangers backwards any thing that wasn't turned around I took a hard look at , tried it on , and if I still liked it kept it if not donated . I donated 9 , 10gal bags of clothes to goodwill . I didn't even have the urge to replace the all . Weird miracle ( or it could be the power of the tumor )

If it wasn't for mom yesterday sitting very nicley waiting for me to come out of my chemo fog to tell her how and where I needed help . I know I needed help but I want to know what box stuff goes in so I can find it I like Christmas just fine but not on moving day . So mom 1st was my " bag boy " she baged my panrty for me as I made areas in the front garage sale , storge , and moves . we finished about the same time and I told her I needed a break she agreed . I made some mac n cheese with broccoli in it for her and I , sister stopped by with newspaper and joined in on the meal . After eating we went on a family trip to Home Depot to get rubber storage containers . hehehe I never knew something like that would be such an experiance . I mean full on animated conversations over which one is better and prices and even color . I loved it =) . Hehe . Back at home mom stayed and helped me pack almost the whole kitchen . She is such a trooped ! I still have my room and the bathroom to do but everythings seems to be more do-able now . Love da momma !

Oh and the tomato , pepper and yellow squash starts are looking good !! I am excited for home grow veggies ! My favorite !

Should be a nice weekend

2010-05-19T11:32:00.000-07:00

Well this week was about as normal as I get these days . I felt pretty good for the most part . The nausea is starting to be not as bad . The pills help me eat but I still have a lack of hunger and nothing ever really sounds good . The nurses keep telling me never eat anything you love while getting treatment , it can make you hate it , find it gross , or since the taste buds are all messed up think that it is made wrong or something is off in it . I have made the mistake now a few times . I thought I would have cheesecake bad choice tasted weird ( 1st time I have ate it since the food show when I ate all like 3 bad samples in a row I don't think I will ever eat it again ) A few different cereals Corn pops ( Yuck ! ) frosted flakes ( gross ! ) oatmeal ( strange texture ) chicken noodle soup ( too salty ) I have a few more but as I list them I am sorta getting depressed thinking at what few things I actually will have left to eat . I will be worse than those little kids that only eat chicken nuggets , ketchup and apples .

So with that said guess what I am doing on Sunday ? I am going to a benefit for the Broadway Center . They call it ' Food Stars " it's catered by 6 different restraunts from around town . I am sure that with my small appetite I will have some happy people sitting around me . I found a super cute dress at Ross for less than 20 bucks , shoes at Target - 20 , necklace w/ earring set Sears 18 bucks , wig 40 and make 6 dollars . not to bad I can also wear the dress for a few other things I have coming up . The wig is super cute too !! So happy ! This should be good ! Fingers crossed .

Embellish

2010-05-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

Well this week has proven that chemo is slowly taking over my body . It is a weird feeling . It's odd I feel like I am getting old in fast / slow motion . I have no idea how to explain this to someone who isn't sick like me . It's a crappy feeling not being able to do what you know you should be able to do . I know I can walk over 2 miles and be fine , no , no I can't right now when I have tried I end up taking a 3 hour nap . I have to split my chores up in to chunks . I will read a chapter then wash a few dishes , read a chapter then sweep the floor , ect . So needless to say I can't wait to be done . I know it takes time I know I need all the naps I know that treatment is grueling but I just wish that it didn't take so long .

ON the other foot .... I get to go down to Embellish next week . Trish the great is going to give me a head scrub . Man I never knew how awesome showers and head messages were until I became bald . I use to be really good about taking 5 min showers now they are like 10 min . I just love the way they feel . I encourage anyone who needs a hair cut , color , perm , or just wants to try a new do to give Embellish Salon a try .

Getting out but not around a lot of people

2010-05-07T20:20:00.001-07:00

So part of my treatment is that my immune system will be going down the shiter here in a few weeks . I will not be able to be around a lot of people again . I like to go for walks around town but I crave to hike out in the trees with truely fresh air . My mom and I stopped at REI today on the way home . I found a book of easy day hikes for Rainier and the Penninsula . I am hopeing that I can find all sorts of different friends to do these hikes with . Some are kid oriented , some allow dogs , but they all are outside in our gorgouse pacific northwest . So when ever you want to go for a nice day trip give me a call or e-mail me . I am ready ! I will warn you that I am not a fast walker anymore I still have not been able to build speed . It truelly will be a stroll through the forest or feilds .
cell 253-651-9933
e-mail whitacre.elizabeth@yahoo.com

Ruff week

2010-05-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

Chemo started last week and I can say that it is slowly kicking my butt . I went today with mom and I was surprised at how fast and smooth it all went . I think it was the fastest I have been in and out of SCCA . i was suppose to get a hearing test but they want my ear canal to not be inflamed when I go . It's inflamed from when I had radiation . We all thought it would have gone away by now but sadly I am partialy def now in my right ear till the swelling goes down . It's a strange feeling to have bad hearing .
On our way up to SCCA we stopped in to Starbucks for a quick snack an so I could have a coffee . As I was looking at he breakfast sandwichs I hear " Liz ? Liz Whitacre ? " I turn around and it was Gloria Binkly !!! I haven't seen her in about 2 years ! My emotions are all crazy , I was so excited to see her I almost cried . I am turning into a emtional basketcase . I was so amazed to see her . It is so funny how a small 5 minute break from what " is " going on can change how you feel for a good chunk of the day .

May day fun over

2010-05-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

May day was great this year at sisters house ! The pole was wrapped by the young and the old . Every one remembered which direction they needed to go . The welcoming to spring is now over so spring and warmer weather can begin !!!
It was a lot of fun to see every ones kids running around playing . Kat's daughter wowed us with her animal noises and kept me laughing as she tried to squirm away . They are so cute at that age !!! Laurels oldest Maddie was showing off her spanish speaking skills to us . We would ask her how to say a color or item of clothing and she would name it . Then she counted to 40 in spanish ! The end to her show was the preforming of sumersaults and kartwheels .
The fire pit was lite a little after 6 to help keep people warm . It was nice to sit around the fire . I was bundled up and toasty . When we started to run low on wood I taught one of sisters friends how to chop wood with the help of Jeff D. it was pretty funny . Dino was pretty proud of himself as well as he should be . He did a great job .
After everyone left sister and I sat around and talked about our favorite moments and had a good laugh .
I woke up on sisters couch this morning feeling a little worn . I can tell when I have socially strained my self and I was a little stained . I found my purse and took my antipuking pills . I honestly can not tell you if they work or not because I hate feeling way enough that I take them on time . My hunger level these last few days has been down again . I am hoping that it will balance out here in a little bit . I have had the energy of a three toed slothe today . I will learn balance . I will learn balance . This will be my mantra for the next leg of my journey .

starting again

2010-05-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

Sister normally takes me to my Seattle Cancer Care appointments but do to things she had planned she did not . So here is the Tale of Dad taking me to S.C.C. .
Dad picked me up at 8:15ish so that we could grab a quick breakfast and head out on to the road . we were pretty lucky traffic wasn't bad at all . We made it uo to Seattle at about 9:15 . Still had about a half hour before my 1st appointment . I flipped through a zine and dad took nap #1 . They cal my name so I follow the nurse to the blood draw room . Blood is done and over with fast . The nurse tells me I have a few minutes before my mri and that I can just rest - nap #1 for me .
I am woken up and taken to a holding type room where the tech tells me that the music listed ob the wall is what I can listen to while in the mri . After ho humming over the list I settle for the Gypsy Kings . THen the tech tells me it was going to be a few more minutes then lays a warm blanket on my lap -nap#2 .
The tech wakes me up and tells me the mri takes about 45 min so if you need to go , go now . I slip back out into the lobby to grab something and dad was cathing up to me know - nap #2 for dad .
The MRI machine at SCC seemed so much loader to me then TG or Alenmor . It also made different noises . AS I lay on the board I practice meditating as a way to not freak out . Then I fell asleep - nap #3 . after about 40 min of being in there they pul me out and inject some contrst into my system and did about 10 more min of xrays .
After that fun . I took dad to my meeting with the dr.'s I got my vitals , weighed , and temp taken . THen had a small learning session on what all the drugs and prescibtions were . My dad and I were thing we would be done by 3ish ..... The dr.s nurse told hime what was on thr board for the day . !st a 5 hour hyrdation bag ( cut to dads face as his eyes first bug out then roll then go to the clock so he could figure how much longer lol ) 2nd vanchristine 3rd cisplatin and then 4th CeeNU ( it's like 24 pills that you have to take with in ten minutes , they taste pretty nasty too . Then they flush the port line and your done . The nurse than proceeds to give me 5 priscriptions to have filled while I get treated .
I take dad up one more floor we sit down and wait not even 5 minutes before they call my name to go to the infusion room . Room 7 I like that room because you have less people around you and noise . I put my stuff in the room and give dad a tour . I show him wher the kitchens are and his eyes light up slighly . I told hoim all this was on me and to help himself . I grabed a water bottle , string cheese and a jello pack . Dad got a nutriagrain bar some cheese water and a soda . When we came back there was Ed all ready with my hydration bag . He told me that he increased the drip and it should only be about 3hrs , Awesome !!! He is so good to me ! I got all comfy on the bed and settle into the idea of a nap . Ed grabbed be 2 warmed blankets . Nap # 3 .
I wake up and dad is cruisin through his book and I feel really nice and rest . Ed comes in and gives me a shot of steriods to help with one of the meds he wil be giving me . I then wonder what all the steriodes they have given to me might do to me .. I hope I don't turn into a cabbage patch doll or garbage pail kid . Shortly after Ed leaves . nap #4 .
I wake up from nap #4 and I see dad napping so I will gues that this nap is #4 for hime also maybe #3 . When I wake I feel the results of the steriods I have a bit more energy . I turn on my little t.v. and watch Fariss Buellers day off . love that movie . ( When cameron was in eygpt land .... let my cameron go .....) ( Do you want a gummy bear ? They are warm they hac=ve been in my pocket all day soooo.... ) shortly after the end of the movie . Ed comes in and informs my that I am done !!! So exciting !!
Now all I have to do is figure out my pill scedule and I will be golden !! I have to remain some what excited and peppy over this crap or the actual reality of it will eat my happiness , and I don't like it when that happens . So what do you do . Put on a happy face and WOOOOOHOOOOO!