Llama Chasers

Week 29 - The Llamas' Chase Continues

2013-04-07T23:02:00.000-04:00

With a log jam at the top of the standings it is very important to come out of each week with a winning record. We have been pretty good at that over the last 2 months but unfortunately so have the other 3 teams we are fighting it out with for first place.

The night began with Kevin choosing work over the most exciting Llama Chaser season of all time. I would like to say I am surprised but I am not. It's not like we ask much, he can sell a car 365 days a year. We simply ask him to not sell a car after 6pm on Mondays. Is that asking too much?

The Malatesta brothers came out of the gates on fire. Tom started with a spare and then a llama and finished with a clean game 226. Andy had just one open on his way to a 203. The problem was I bowled only 154 and Brick was at 176. Another problem was the other team went the eff off as we lost by over 100 pins.

Game 2 Tom started with a Turkey and bowled well again finishing with a 192. Andy continued his excellent bowling and again had only 1 open for an even 200. I struggled again but got up to 170. The good news is Brick was there to pick me and the Llama Chasers up with an amazing 259 which included a Llama and a Super Llama. We won game 2 and picked up some pins on total giving us a shot of 5 points on the night if we could win game 3.

Win is exactly what we did!! With all 4 Llama Chasers over average!! I rolled a Llama and finished with a 205. Tom had another nice game and ended with a 180. Andy failed to get to 200 but was only 3 pins off with a 197. Brick was stellar again! He started game 3 with a Turkey and closed with a Mega Llama for a 235. That all added up to a huge win in game 3 and we also took total pins for a 5-2 night.

It should be noted that after the 1st game we cracked open a bottle of Funky Llama wine. Not exactly sure what is in the wine, probably some sort of aged grapes and Llama sperm I would guess, but whatever it is I think our we have won all 6 games after we drank it. That begs the questions why don't we drink it before the 1st game? Good idea!!

So Llama Chaser Nation we are still in the thick of the pennant race. We are in a 3 way tie for second and sit just 3 points back of first place!! Hope to see you on the lanes!!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 28 - March Madness

2013-03-25T14:23:00.000-04:00

March Madness is upon us and I am not talking about the NCAA basketball tournament, I am talking about the chase for the 2nd half bowling title. The Llama Chasers are like Florida Gulf Coast from this year's NCAA tournament, they don't get to "the dance" often but they are making noise now that they are here. This is basically only our second time in Llama Chaser history that we have had something to bowl for in the month of March and we are making the most of our opportunity.

As you can see from the standings above we went 5-2 on the week and now stand at 54-30 in a 3 way tie for 2nd place and just 3 points out of 1st place.

The night did not start out good as all 5 of us bowled over average in the first game and we lost. I started out hot with 5 strikes and a spare through the first 6 frames but then ended with 3 opens in the final 4 frames. Brick and Andy both dropped in Llamas with a 205 and 213, respectively, to lead the way.

It was now or never time in Llama Chaser land as an 0-7 or 2-5 night would have essentially ended our title chances. With our backs against the wall Andy, Brick, and myself came up big. I started with an open but finished with 9 straight marks including a Llama for a 226. Andy had only 1 open as well on way to a 203 and Brick bowled a clean game with a Llama for a stellar 235. It was a close game but with all 5 Llama Chasers marking in the 10th frame we were able to pull out the victory.

Game 3 the Llama Chasers had the look of a championship contender(besides me with a 168). Kevin rolled a 213 which included only 1 open and a Llama. Tom was at 212 with Llama, 60 pins over average. Andy finished off a strong night adding in a Super Llama for a 227, 643 series. Brick came up huge with a clean game 256 mixing in 2 Llamas and ending just 4 pins shy of 700 with a 696. Brick had just 2 opens on the night and Andy had just 3!!

I also need to give a shout out to nice gentleman who works at the bowling alley, not sure if he wants his name mentioned so I won't. But this nice guy gave us 2 fine bottles of wine. Thank You! Some may tell you it led us to the 2 wins on the night and I would not disagree.

The Llama Chasers don't always drink wine, but when we do we prefer Funky Llama!

So Llama Chaser Nation there are just 3 weeks left in the second half. The way this works is we bowl our scheduled opponent the next 2 weeks and then have a bowl off in week 3. So the 1st place team bowls the 2nd place team, 3rd vs. 4th. etc. The key is to be within 7 points of first or better to have a shot at the 2nd half title in the 3rd week. When we win that we will bowl Guess Whose Back for the 2012/2013 Championship. This week Gunga Galunga bowls guess whose back so if we take care of business we have a shot to be in first or maybe all alone in second.

I decided to add a new feature going forward...Llama Chaser of the Week. There are no strict guidelines for this award sometimes it may be the top bowler on the team or sometimes it may not. It pretty much will just be whoever I feel like giving it to so expect me to win it a lot.

Llama Chaser of the Week...Brick
On a night with our season on the line our top bowler delivered. With just 2 opens, 4 Llamas, and a 696 series let's all congratulate Brick as the first ever Llama Chaser of the Week!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 27 - Hangin' Tough

2013-03-18T15:27:00.000-04:00

Llama Chaser Nation lets sing...

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance
Just get on the floor and do the Llama Chaser dance
Don't worry about nothing cause it won't take long
We're gonna put you in a trance with the funky song
Cause you gotta be...
Hangin' tough

That's right Llama Chaser Nation just like my favorite boy band, NKOTB, we are Hangin' Tough!! With the season on the line against the 1st place Tops and Bottoms we came out of the gates firing. I was slaying Turkey's like it was my job including opening up the first game with a Turkey. I then dropped in 2 spares and then another Turkey and finished with a 218. Tom also came up huge in game 1 with a 71 pin over average 232 which included a Turkey and a Llama!! Brick also went over average with a 213 dropping in a Super Llama in the process.

Game 2 we let one slip away. I, as always, was very strong. Starting game 2 with another Turkey and also dropping in another on my way to a 223. Kevin had a solid 184, Tom an over-average 166, Andy recorded a Llama on his way to a 212, and Brick sent Geppetto flying again with another Super Llama finishing with a 227. We were all over average but it was not enough as we let Game 2 slip away.

I can't speak for everyone on this team but when I'm down and troubled and I need a helping hand, I don't turn to James Taylor, I turn to The New Kids on the Block!!! I close my eyes and sing...

Everybody's always talking about who's on top
Don't cross our paths cause you're gonna get stopped
We ain't gonna give anybody any slack
And if you try to keep us down we're gonna come right back
And you know it...
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh x4

And then the last part I like to sing out loud...

Get loose everybody cause we're gonna do our thing
Cause you know it ain't over till the fat lady sings
Check it out...

Hangin' tough

With NKOTB running through our veins we would not be denied in Game 3. Kevin, dreaming of Joey McIntyre, dropped in a 238 which included a Super Llama. Andy, dreaming of a threesome with the Knight brothers, Jordan and Jonathan, rolled a 207 with a Turkey in the 10th frame. Brick, Tom, and myself dreamed about how disgusting Kevin and Andy are. But the bottom line was a victory in game 3 and a 5-2 record on the night.

Just 3 weeks left and we bowl 1st half champion Guess Whose Back tonight. It's do or die again for us but you all know that we will be...

Hangin Tough!!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 26 - Timex and the Llama Chasers

2013-03-11T13:50:00.001-04:00

Llama Chaser Nation you are likely wondering what could the Llama Chasers and Timex have in common? Well at least 1 thing...

(Side Note: I had a much funnier write up here but my editor told me making fun of Rihanna and Chris Brown would be in bad taste. That is why you are stuck with this lame Timex reference)

Just like Timex we take a licking but keep on ticking. The team we were facing, Gunga Galunga, took no mercy on us. Kevin's 246 which included 7 strikes in a row(an Ultra Llama) and Tom's 2 turkey 223 meant nothing as Gunga Gallunga kept swinging away. Kevin, Tom, and myself were a combined 136 pins over average and we still took the loss.

Game 2 the beating continued as we had our worst game in months with all 5 Llama Chasers bowling under average. At this point things were not looking good but we knew a win in game 3 could help ease the pain.

Game 3 was a battle with us trailing most of the game. Needing a strong finish in the 10th frame we delivered. I bowled a strike and spare, Kevin closed out with a Llama and a 189, Tom marked, Andy closed out a huge game with a strike and spare to finish with a 237, and last but not least we needed a strike from Brick on his first ball in the 10th and that is exactly what he delivered. So we got a very important W which put us at 2-5 on the night and keeps us in hunt for the 2nd half title just 6 points back of 1st place AND...

We happen to bowl the 1st place team, Tops & Bottoms, tonight. Tops & Bottoms is actually the name of a local strip club with which the team is affiliated with. Unfortunately they don't usually bring the "talent" to watch them bowl. Hmmmm, doesn't a strip club bowling alley sound like a good idea!!

With only 3 weeks left in the season this is a must win week for us, so I can't wait to see all of our fans at the alley tonight!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 25 - As The Llama Chasers Turn

2013-03-04T15:57:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you about my day last Monday. So the cruise ends and Geppetto and I need to get back for bowling. Well our ship was delayed getting into port because of fog. This caused us to miss our 11 o'clock direct flight which would of had us home by 2pm and I WOULD HAVE EASILY MADE IT TO BOWLING. Instead we were on a 12:30 flight to Atlanta, which of course missed our 2:30 connection to Cleveland because we were again delayed. So now we had a 5:20 flight from Atlanta to Akron and we ended up getting home after 8 and that is why I missed bowling. BOWLING TEAM STOP READING HERE. JUMP DOWN ONE PARAGRAPH AND START READING AGAIN. THANK YOU.

Christie sweetheart, I would not have gone to bowling even if I had been home by 2. Yes, the bowling team needs me and struggles when I am not there but being away from you and the kids for 5 days was tough and I couldn't wait to see you.

Now since I was not at bowling I only have a score summary to go by so I will do my best to sum up the evening with both what I think should have happened and also how it probably really happened.

HOW IT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED...
6:40 - Brick shows up and wonders where Ryan is. Says "Gee, I sure wish my pal could make it but I understand he has been away from his family for over 5 days so I'm glad he stayed home. Ah shucks Ryan has the kitty, the turkeys and the gong in his bowling bag. That's ok we will be fine for 1 week without them."

8:00 - We won our first game with all 4 bowlers over 200, with Andy leading the way with a 244. Brick then says "Man it is fun winning but I wish my bud Ryan could have been here to enjoy it, it just isn't the same without him."

9:00 - Another victory with Tom, Andy, and Brick over 200 again. Tom with 216, Brick with a stellar 247, and Andy rolling a ridiculous 259. Brick then says "I love all of this winning and we are right back in contention for the second half title but I sure wish Ry was here. I hope he got home safely and I hope the kids weren't in bed by the time he got home."

10:00 - MMMBBBBAAAAHHHH...What a fantastic week, a Llama Chaser sweep. Brick finished with a 202 for a 673 series, Tom slowed a bit with a 153 in game 3 but still had a great week with a 578 series, and Andy just killed it closing out with 235 for a 738 series. I am being told that is Andy's highest series ever!! Very Nice! So as the bowling bags are being packed up and smiles are all around the team stands up for a group hug and Brick starts to sob "We can do this guys, we can win this whole thing. We showed we can even win without Ryan here. I hope he doesn't have to miss another week but if he does I know it is for a good reason and I know we will be alright. I hate to keep going on and on about Ryan but I just miss him. I can't wait to call him and tell him how well we did."

HOW IT PROBABLY REALLY HAPPENED...

6:40 - Brick shows up and asks "Where the f*ck is Ryan?"

6:56 - Brick texts Ryan "No Kitty. No Gong. No Turkeys. You better be on your way."(This really happened. I did not reply)

8:00 - We win. Brick says "Seriously why is Ryan not here. What time did he get home." Tom says "He texted me that his plane was delayed and that he wouldn't be home til after 8." Brick "That's bullsh!t. He still could have been here by the 2nd game."

9:00 - Another victory. I think at this point Bricks anger with me not there had faded as he was bowling well and the team was winning.

10:00 - MMMMBBBAAAHHHHH...What a fantastic week, a Llama Chaser sweep. A lot of happiness I'm guessing was going on...The Llama Chasers are back in the hunt. Then the team went into the bar and likely rooted harder than ever at Keno, hoping they would win and shove it in my face. They love and miss me but will never admit it.

So another chapter of "As The Llama Chasers Turn" comes to a close and with a 7-0 week. Check out the latest standings...

As you can see we are just 1 point back with only 4 week left. This week we bowl Gunga-Galunga and next week we bowl Tops & Bottoms. So we should have a good idea how this is going to play out in the next 2 weeks.

Now would be a great time to have some former Llama Chasers come root us on. Brandon, I'm looking at you. Bryan C., Rob M., Bryan P.(a flight from Chicago only takes an hour), current Guess Whose Back bowler Monte(you can come down a lane or two and root for us) we need all the support we can get. Also some of our biggest fans could help...Grover, your energy alone could get us a few victories. I was going to name some other fans but I think Grover may be are only one. You get the idea...This is THE YEAR OF THE LLAMA come root us on to the championship!!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 24 - Holy Sh!t, Tom updated the stats!!!

2013-03-04T14:37:00.000-05:00

Sorry Llama Chaser Nation but Geppetto and I have been vacationing in Key West and Coco Cay so I am a little behind on the updates.

I was set to write about the Llama Chasers unfortunate setback of us going 0-7 in week 24 and how it put a little dent in The Year of Llama...

But then I logged onto here and saw something amazing!! For the first time in damn near a year our individual stats were updated. You can now see that Tom has worn (Don't Look, Don't Laugh) 14 skirts this year or that Brick has 35 Llamas on the season. You can even get much more information if you click on the statistics button at the top of the page.

So instead of boring you with how bad we bowled, especially me, I would rather congratulate Tom on taking less than 1 year to update the site!!!

And now some more photos from Geppetto's much needed vacation...

Coyote Ugly in Key West, the place was empty but that didn't stop Geppetto from having some fun.

Irish Kevin's in Key West. To quote Rod Stewart "Some guys have all the luck".

Can I get a high five!

I think it is safe to say the Geppetto later "rode" Brutus!

Ryan, Geppetto, and former OSU basketball player JJ Sullinger (really cool guy!).

Geppetto was passed out for this one but here is Ryan, Eddie George, and Mike. One last word of advice for Llama Chaser Nation...if you are ever hanging out with Eddie George just let him drink whatever he wants to drink. If he wants a Vodka Cranberry let him enjoy it. DON'T, I repeat, DON'T questions his manhood and ask how a big man like that could drink such a girly drink. I know he is all big and strong and the cranberry Vodka looks really funny is his hand but fight the urge and keep your mouth shut. Let's just say he doesn't take to it too kindly when you question what he is drinking. He might just basically tell you to shut the F up, drink your Bud Light, and go back to what you were doing. Just a hunch.

Now that Geppetto and I are well rested, get ready to march with us to the championship!!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 23 - The Man, The Myth, The Llama Chaser!

2013-02-18T13:52:00.000-05:00

I could spend time talking to you about how great the team is doing, I could spend time gushing over our 7-0 week or our 31-4 run over the last 5 weeks, I could talk about Kevin's great bowling the last few weeks, or Tom's improvement, or Andy and Brick's consistent showing in this great stretch but who wants to talk about that.

Earlier this year we introduced 88 Nate to you, well allow me to introduce The Man, The Myth, The Llama Chaser legend 688 Ryan to you.

Spare, Super Llama, Spare, Strike, Spare, Strike - 238
Open, Spare, Turkey, Spare, Open, Spare, Strike, Spare - 195
Open, Ultra Llama, Spare, Turkey - 255

A 7 - 1 split in the first frame of game 3 is all that stood in the way of Earl Anthony errrr Pete Weber errrr Ryan and his first career 700 series.

Now let me give credit to some of my teammates. I know quite often this "team" gets over shadowed by the greatness that is me but let me be the first to tell you I could not do this alone.

After all I do rely on Brick to bring my ball back to the locker each week, I rely on Kevin to bring in peanuts and autographed Browns memorabilia, I rely on Tom for comedic relief on the lanes, and I rely on Andy for umm, well nothing I guess but it is still nice to see him each week.

All that being said it was a great week on the lanes as we dominated each game. In game 1 Kevin rolled a 203, Brick a 236 with an Ultra Llama, and Andy with a 212 finishing the game with a Super Llama.

In Game 2 Kevin stayed hot with a 206, Tom dropped in a 184, and Andy was stellar again with a 233 including a Llama.

Game 3 was fun, fun, fun, Kevin started with 7 strikes aka an Ultra Llama, then I dropped in 7 in a row starting in the 2nd frame, and Brick started the game with a Llama. Check out the snapshot below...

The Year of the Llama is finally here. We are now 1 point out of first with a huge match up against perennial league contender Sounds Good this week. I look forward to a strong showing from Llama Chaser Nation.

One last thing...Each week when someone bowls a Llama we all make the Llama noise and symbol with our hands. Well a few weeks back I suggested we take it up a notch and provide the proper respect. Now when a Llama Chaser bowls a Llama we each stand up and make the noise and really let the individual know what a great achievement they have accomplished. I encourage each of our readers to do the same in your league.

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 22 - SUPER BOWLing

2013-02-11T13:05:00.000-05:00

Just a day after watching the Baltimore Ravens win the Super Bowl, the Llama Chasers decided to give a new meaning to Super Bowl as we went out and dominated the Freeway Lanes.

Kevin was in fire!!! In game 1 he had a turkey and a Llama which helped lead to a clean game 248, his best game of the 2012/13 season. Tom added a nice 200, with Andy following with a 202, and Brick at 208. It was only Ryan with an open in the 10th frame and a 175 finish that was under average.

Game 2 the onslaught continued. Ryan got on a roll with a clean game 235, including a Llama and total of 8 strikes. Kevin ran his clean game streak to 2 with a stellar 217. Tom was over average with a 184. Brick added another Llama to his tally and bowled a 215. Andy, followed Ryan's lead in game 1, opening in the 10th frame and finishing with a 188, one pin under average.

Game 3 we put the finishing touches on a perfect tonight. Ryan was hot, hot , hot(which the Llama Chasers groupies already know). Another clean game and a 237. Kevin and Tom col off with 161 and 127 respectively. Andy and Brick both closed out solid night with Andy at 196 and Brick with a turkey 10th frame for a 214.

That my friends is the definition of "Super Bowling"!!! We are know 28-14 and only 1 game back of first place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To quote Kool and the Gang...

It's time to come together
It's up to you, what's your pleasure?
Everyone around the world come on!

Yahoo!
It's a celebration
Yahoo!

Celebrate good times, come on!
(It's a celebration)
Celebrate good times, come on!
(Let's celebrate)

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 21 - 300 Again...WTF.

2013-02-11T12:36:00.001-05:00

Welcome back Llama Chaser Nation and thank you for your continued support. I can't tell you how much it will mean to me when we win the championship all the while knowing that 4 or 5 people read my recaps each week and enjoyed the ride.

This Year of Llama is going along just as planned. We stormed out of the gates in Game 1, Kevin rolled a 212 with only 1 open, Tom was over 50 pins over average with a nice 211 which included an Ultra Llama!!! But it was Andy that allowed us to cruise to victory, he started the game with a Llama and finished it with a Super Llama for a 254. With brothers Tom and Andy each 50+ pins over average we cruised to victory.

Game 2 was just as spectacular. Ryan bowled a 226 which included a Super Llama, Kevin also dropped in a "friends stay together' 226 which included a Llama. Andy stayed hot and also started this game with a Llama and finished with a 202. Brick started the game with a Super Llama and ended with a solid 211.

In game 3 it happened, that's right...300 AGAIN...from the same team that bowled it against us 2 years ago. And the gentleman, we will call Tim (cause that's his name), who bowled the 300 against us 2 years ago dropped in a 267 in game 3. Which was just too much to over come even with all 5 of us over average. Ryan started the game with a Super Llama, Andy started with another Llama, and Tom finished game 3 with a Llama. It was raining Llamas tonight as we finished with 10 Llamas as a team.

So we had to settle for 5-2 on the night and we now stand at a solid 21-14.

MMMBBBBAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 20 - MLK Day...I have a dream!

2013-01-25T10:46:00.000-05:00

Last year on MLK day I told you about the LLama Chasers "MLK Day Disaster" and in the recap and told you of my dream. This year the dream may be coming true.

Here is my soon to be famous speech:

I have a dream that one day this bowling team will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all bowling team are not created equal. "

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Cleveland, the sons of former Llama Chasers will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Ohio, a state sweltering with the bad bowling, sweltering with the heat of few Llamas, will be transformed into an oasis of Llama Chasers everywhere.

I have a dream that my two little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by a Hambone but that 4 strikes in a row will be judged a Llama.

I have a dream today!

It is all starting to come together. The bowling God's are finally smiling on the Llama Chasers. It's a shame the bowling God's had to make us suffer for 10 plus seasons and had to humiliate Tom for the first 16 weeks of this season but as Kelly Clarkson and I mentioned last week "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Llama Chaser Nation we came out strong in week 20. I led the way with a 212 in game 1, which included a Super Llama. Kevin was dead on average with a 177, Tom seems to have found a groove and posted a 180, and Andy dropped in a 201 with a Llama. We all know it is great when we win a game and someone ends up in the skirt and Brick was nice enough to provide us with that skirt. He started with 2 strikes and was seriously thinking he might bowl a 300 but he had to settle for just over half of that with a 154.

Game 2 we kept our foot on the gas. I dropped in a clean game 226, Kevin had a 180, Tom a 182, , Andy had a clean game 225, and Brick's struggles continued with a 178. This game was a little closer then the first but we closed strong in the 9th and 10th frames and a perfect night was in our sights.

Game 3 looked ugly through 5 frames as we found ourselves down by over 100 pins but somehow pulled out a victory with Kevin, Brick, and myself all under average. Tom was dead on average with a 156 and Andy led us to victory with a 200 adding his 2nd Llama of the night. Andy had a great night with all 3 games at 200 or more and a 626 series.

So there you have it a perfect 7-0 night, our first undefeated night in the last 10 weeks. We now stand at 16-12 on the second half and in 4th place.

Last year going into MLK day we sat at 19-2 and went 0-7 on the night and the Llama Chaser collapse began. This year going into MLK day we sat 9-12 and we went 7-0 on the night and maybe just maybe The Year of the Llama has truly begun.

One last thing...I want to say a quick thank you errrrrr, I mean, f#ck you to Tom. If you look to the right you will see he has the standings and stats updated to week 13, he is only 8 weeks behind!!! Tom can you at least pretend like you give a crap, maybe pull your head out of your ass and take 2 minutes to at least update the standings, is that so difficult?

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 19 - Guess Whose Back...

2013-01-21T10:38:00.002-05:00

In the motherbleepin house, with a fat stick for your motherbleepin mouth!!!

I little cleaned up version of some Snoop Dog for Llama Chaser Nation.

As I mentioned in last weeks post we played first half champion's "Guess Whose Back" that feature former Llama Chaser Monte and a few Llama Chaser wannabes, Bill and Ed.

Well let me ask you a question...Guess Whose Back?

If you answered the Llama Chasers give yourself a high five!!

Sitting ar 4 and 10 after two weeks meant we needed a strong showing and that is exactly what we did. In the first game Kevin, Tom, and Andy were all over average with Andy leading the way at 220. Brick just avoided the skirt with a 167 and Ryan sandbagged to a skirtworthy 126. Nothing better than getting a team victory and someone ends up in the skirt, I would enjoy it more if it wasn't me however.

Game 2 was one of our better team games in a while with only Andy under average at 179. Tom dropped in a 200, Kevin a 222, Ryan a 187, and Brick a 244. At one point in the game we had 14 out of 16 frames that were strikes with only Andy refusing to join the strike party.

Unfortunately we did not go 7-0 on the night as butt-pirate Bill bowled a 256 which we couldn't overcome even with Kevin, Ryan, and Andy all over average. And just when we thought Tom was back on track it showed us, to quote Pat Shurmur, "It's a process" with a 135.

So we went 5-2 on the night and are now 9-12 in the second half. This is some momentum we can build on...MMMMBBBAAAHHHHH!!!!!

FYI, As I am sure you noticed in the picture above we had a new addition to our Llama family. Geppetto, with the help of my sperm, gave birth to a Llama for Andy. Eventhough Andy's jersey says "Part-Time" the gift of Llama officially makes him part of the Llama Chaser family.

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 18 - New Year, Same Story

2013-01-14T14:26:00.000-05:00

Weeks 15, 16, and 17 - 2013 Finally the Year of the Llama!!!

2013-01-07T14:34:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year Llama Chaser Nation!!!!!!!

My only New Year's resolution for 2013 is to write the Llama Chaser recaps the week they happen.

Here is a quick recap because I don't really remember what happened. Week 15 I think we did ok, how is that for a recap!! Week 16 Tom did even worse than week 14 if you can even believe that is possible. The good news is week 16 ended the first half and we begin week 17 with new hope and plans for a second half championship.

Week 17 Tom bowled a 168, 146, 161. The really sad news is that is now considered good for Tom. We actually won the first game with Tom a whopping 13 pins over average, Brick's 257 also helped a little. We the lost the the nest 2 games and start the second half 2-5.

2013 is going to be big for the Llama Chasers, I can feel it. Tom is 40 pins off his average from last year, Kevin, Andy, and myself are all 5-10 pins under our normal averages, so there is no reason we take the second half by storm.

This lame ass recap is now over, I promise to do better in the second half!!

2013 - The Year of the Llama!!!!!!!!!! MMMMMBBBBBBAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!1

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 14 - Holy Sh!t, Tom sucks!

2012-12-03T14:10:00.000-05:00

I would like to sugar coat it Llama Chaser Nation but I can't...it's true, Tom sucks. Before we start feeling too bad for Tom just remember he has a beautiful family, a nice house, a good job, a reliable car, he's smart, has a decent ass, and has a good sense of humor...he just sucks at bowling. You want proof...

119

125

102

346 SERIES

I would encourage my 4 readers of this recap to go down to your local alley, grab a ball, get a pair of lane shoes, tie the shoe laces together so you can barely walk, step up on the lane, put one hand behind your back, close your eyes, and bowl 3 games. I bet you would beat a 346 series.

According to the stats that are on LlamaChasers.com Tom has bowled 241 weeks over 9 seasons with the Llama Chasers and never has he bowled like he did tonight. In the prior 241 weeks Tom NEVER had a series under 400. Tom had at least 1 year were he bowled 90 games and had 0 games that he bowled under 140, tonight he bowled 3 games at 125 or under!! The scary part is he was over his "skirt average" in game 2 with his 125. He will clock in for week 15 with a 159 average. It may be time to see if Rob, Bryan C., or Brian P. want to come out of retirement.

To make matters even worse Tom stormed out of bowling, refusing to hang around for the team bonding experience of Keno and the second ever naked-girls poker card draft. The draft has us pick from our 4 decks of naked ladies and choose the best Ace of Hearts girl, the best Four of Clubs girl, and so on. It is one of the best nights the Llama Chasers have. It is like Christmas morning for Andy, Kevin, and Brick. I enjoy it but would prefer if the girls were clothed with their IQ's listed next to them, a smart girl is what gets me going. Unfortunately Tom chose to go home and have a pity party.

We lost all 7 on the nights but there were some good moments...Brick's 129 in game 1 was fun and got him in the skirt. Kevin bowled well with all 3 games over average. I bowled a 233 in game 3 which was better than Tom's game 1 and 3 COMBINED, 221.

Times are tough in Llama Land but we all know that I am a glass half-full type of guy so let's take a look at the bright side. We have only 1 week left in the first half and Kevin, Andy, Brick, and myself are all about 10 pins under where our averages were last year. And Tom is 35 pins under his average from last year.

I am confident we are ready to take the league by storm in the second half!!!! There is no doubt in my mind Tom will figure this thing out, he is too good of a bowler not to. He has 3 weeks of bowling and a two week holiday break to make some adjustments. When Tom averages in the 190's in the second half we will be very difficult to beat.

Say it with me Llama Chaser Nation...2013 Is the Year of the Llama!!!!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Weeks 11-13 - Llama Droppings

2012-11-29T15:41:00.001-05:00

I have fallen way back on recaps so let me get Llama Chaser Nation quicky up to date...

Week 11 - I think we went 7-0 Tom had a nice 220 in game 1, Brick had a solid 225 in game 2, and Ryan led the way in game 3 with a 188. If I remember correctly we didn't bowl great but we finally had a team bowl bad against us. It was a nice change of pace. Tom and Ryan traded spots in the rotation with Ryan batting lead off and Tom bowling 3rd.

Week 12 - Tom showed us a sign of things to come with a smooth 110 in game 1, Brick and Andy bowled matching 214's in game 2, Kevin skipped the first 2 games and we wished he missed all 3 with his 144 showing in game 3. Also, in game 3 Andy dropped in a 213 and Brick finished with a 236 which gave him a nice 654 series. We went like 5-2 on the night.

Week 13 - We got crushed in game 1, thanks in part to Tom's 127 and Kevin not showing up for games 1 and 2. Game 2 we did the crushing with one of our best games ever!!! Ryan had a 238 which included a Mega-Llama. Tom had a 221. Andy had a superb 266, and Brick rolled a 237. Andy started the game with 7 strikes in a row and Brick started with the first 6. Our total for Game 2 currently ranks as the 2nd highest Team Handicap Total for the year. Unfortunately in game 3 we got crushed again Ryan, Andy, and Brick were all over average but Tom struggled with a 117. He had a very consistent(or not) 127, 221, 117 night. We ended up 2-5 on the night.

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 10 - Next Time Please Use Vaseline

2012-11-02T14:04:00.000-04:00

It wasn't easy, but we finally did it. After 3 plus weeks which included a Llama Chaser record 11 straight losses and 0-25 in the standings we finally won a game. The league finally showed us a little mercy. I know we can get over the physical abuse we took, I just hope the emotional baggage isn't too much.

Game 1 started with Brick, Tom, and Kevin all in skirts. Brick didn't like his skirt much so he bowled a 222 to get out of it. Tom and Kevin have grown quite attached to the skirts over the last few weeks that they decided to bowl under average and keep them on. I struggled bowling with a boner(it happens...especially when you are staring at naked men cards and 3 men in skirts) and ended with a 146 which allowed me to get in a skirt for game 2. Brick bowled a solid 222 but blew a save in the 10th inning errr frame when he opened and we lost by 5 pins.

So Game 2 started with Ryan, Tom, and Kevin all in skirts. This game strongly resembled game 1. I, however, did get over average with a 190. Andy was over average again, Tom and Kevin were under again, Brick bowled a 222 again and opened in the 10th again with a chance to close out the game. Game 2 was another loss.

For the record I would blame games 1 and 2 on Tom and Kevin. You could also blame me for Game 1 but I wouldn't. I tried hard! I think the reason Kevin and Tom bowled so bad is because they went practice bowling with Brick on Friday night. It was obvious they were tired and sore.

Game 3 is when the magic finally happened. Legend has it that it was the magic bottle of wine that Andy opened in the 3rd frame. Llama Chaser groupie/bartender Michelle was nice enough to buy the Llama Chasers a bottle of wine called the "Funky Llama". It was given to us a few weeks back and we had no intentions of opening anytime soon, we thought we would let it age for a few years. But Andy pretty much grabbed it and said screw it and apparently it wasn't wine, it was a magic winning potion. We never looked back...Brick, Ryan, Andy, and Kevin were all over average and we cruised to victory and even took total pins on the night. Tom once again bowled under average and will be in the skirt for I think the 5th consecutive game and like the last 6 out of 8.

Brick had an amazing night on the lanes he struck in frames 2-7 in all 3 games, 3 Ultra-Llamas! He had a 222, 222, 246 - 690 series.

Andy was over average all 3 games and added 1 more llama to his resume.

The naked men cards will be heading back to the locker. In case you don't remember they come out when we lose all 3 games in a week and stay out until we win 1 game. Usually they stick around for a game or 2 but this time they stayed around for a record 9 straight games. I will miss them but I hope they stay in the locker the rest of the year...who know I may even bring them home for some fun on the weekends.

So the Llama Chaser massacre is over!! We now stand at 23-47. There may not be enough time to get back in the race for the first half title but I assure you we will be a force to be reckoned with in the second half!! MMMMMMMBBBBBAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last but not least I want to thank the 5 people that read this, you are my inspiration!!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 9 - BOHICA

2012-10-24T16:32:00.002-04:00

That's right Llama Chaser Nation...BOHICA...Bend Over Here It Comes Again!! Another week of bowling, another 7 effin' points lost. For those of you counting at home that is 3 straight weeks of losing or 0-21!!!!!!!!!! Our record was 20-22 after the first 6 weeks and now we are locked in the basement at 20-43.

I'm not sure what has happened to Americas favorite bowling team but we suck. We are kind of like the Cleveland Browns...every year a promise you something better but it the same results. Kind of wish we could bring in a new owner like the Browns.

The worst part is the story this week is the same as the past 2 weeks...we ran into another train. We had a 736, a 719 and a 660 series bowled on us. Oh and by the way our leader Brick decided to stay home to watch the Presidential debate(or he might have thrown out his back and couldn't walk). That ended Brick's Cal Ripenesque streak of not missing bowling in over 2 plus years.

To sum week 9 up quickly Tom bowled like crap again mixing in a 136 and 154, which means more skirts for him. Kevin had a 155, 155, then a 167. That adds up to 3 skirts because the skirt rules has dropped with each consecutive loss, you now have to bowl average or better to avoid the skirt. Andy and myself at least decided to show up. Andy was over average all 3 games and dropped in a 201 and a 212. My 151 in the first game had me in the skirt for game 2 which motivated me to a 199. In game 3 I tied my career high with a 257 and even dropped in Mega-Llama, 6 strikes in a row. Even with me 84 pins over average we stll lost game 3 by over 90 pins. There is no defense in bowling!!

Someday the losing streak will end until then I guess we will just have to take former Indiana Basketball Coach Bob Knight's advice, he once said: “If rape is inevitable, why not sit back and enjoy it." BOHICA!!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 8 - God Hates Llamas

2012-10-24T16:02:00.001-04:00

It took me 10 plus years to come to the determination that God hates llamas but I think it is now quite obvious. How else do you explain a good bowling team, bowling in a handicap league, which levels the playing field, never, ever competing for a title!? We have basically had 1 half season out of 20 half seasons were we had a chance at winning and that was with about 4 weeks left. Last year 4 of the 5 bowlers on our team had their highest averages ever and yet we finished in dead last place. Also, the last 2 weeks we have admittedly bowled bad but the 2 teams we faced went off. Even if we had each bowled over average we still would have gotten our asses handed to us.

Our losing streak continues, it is now at 14. The only bonus this week was we got to use the naked men cards, which is a requirement after losing all 7 points the previous week. So while we bowled bad we were still treated to some hot, hairless, men with large thingies. The naked men cards only go away if we win a game which we couldn't do this week going 0-3. Good news is the naked men will be back with us the following week. As I mentioned in the past the naked guys aren't my favorite thing but boy oh boy do Brick, Tom, Kevin, and Andy like them. It kind of makes me uncomfortable, Kevin even ordered a hot dog for dinner...we all know where his mind was.

Tom bowled a stellar 160, 151, 143 - 454 series and he gets to wear the skirth game 1 next week. Kevin bowled an over average 196, 183, 178 - 557 series. Ryan bowled a 159, 177, 209 - 545 series. Andy also hates llamas and pretended to be sick and stayed home. Brick started swell but ended poorly with a 233, 198, 163 - 594 series which also gets him in the skirt next week.

I don't know what else to say, it simply boils down to God Hates Llamas, which is kind of dissapointing.

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 7 - Greg Little

2012-10-15T14:42:00.000-04:00

A few weeks back Greg Little of the Cleveland Browns decided to drop the "Usain Bolt pose" after making a catch. It might be acceptable if he just made a game winning touchdown catch but it wasn't, it was just a so-so catch in a game the Browns were getting blown out.

What does this have to do with the Llama Chasers you ask? Well I'll tell you...

This week we got a beatdown!! Tom, Andy, Kevin and myself all bowled pretty bad. It didn't really matter because the other team went off. As I have mentioned in the past there is no defense in bowling.

Brick bowled very well this week, a 698 series. At one point in the third game he turned to me and said "I know what the title of this weeks recap should be "Brick is back."" I didn't say much but I thought it would have been fitting for Brick to stand up and give the Greg Little Usain Bolt pose.

I'm glad that Brick has his mojo back, but just as there is no "I" in team, there is no "I" in Llama Chasers.

So everbody Greg Little errrr Brick wanted me to let you know "Brick is back", who cares if we went 0-7 and fall to 20-29.

(I am now standing up doing the Usain Bolt pose for the awesome recap)

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 6 - Unmotivated

2012-10-15T14:18:00.000-04:00

Llama Chaser Nation I'm a little disapointed...according to the Llama Chaser facebook page 8, a whopping 8, people read last weeks recap. There are 5 people on the bowling team but I think only 3 of us even read the damn thing. Tom won't even "like" it from his own facebook page.

So let's just say I am rather unmotivated to look at a the scoresheet or even try to think of something clever to write for this weeks recap, plus I am 2 weeks behind and I just want to get caught up.

If I remember right Brick bowled well and maybe Kevin. We went 5-2 on the night and stand at 20-22 on the season.

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 5 - Somewhere Over the Rainbow

2012-10-08T10:49:00.002-04:00

(To be honest I am finding it difficult to come up with a different recap as to why we suck as a team each week and every year. )

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For some reason this week "(Somewhere) Over the Rainbow" came in my head. So I googled the meaning of the song and came across this...

"Sometimes, we all feel as if our life isn't so great and we wonder if there is something or somewhere that we would be better off. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Of course, we all know that it's the same grass and, "If I every go looking for my heart's desires again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because, if it isn't there, I probably never lost it in the first place.""

Well that pretty much sums up life as a Llama Chaser...We dream of reaching the ultimate goal of a championship as a team, it hasn't happened yet, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else!

Sing along with "Somewhere Over the Llama Chasers Rainbow".

Somewhere over the rainbow
Llamas fly.
Llamas fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little Llamas fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

As you may have guessed we sucked again this week. Kevin literally forgot to show up for the first game and Tom, Brick, and Andy figuratively forgot to show up with each bowling under average. Ryan closed the 1st game with a Llama to finish with an over average 180 but it was not enough, we lost game 1. On the bright side Brick looked ridiculously good in the skirt!!!

Tom set the tone in Game 2 with a Llama right out of the gate. Kevin finally showed up and dropped in a Llama as well. Brick also decided to get in on the Llama action. With the Llama calls flying around all 5 of us bowled over average and we won Game 2.

In game 3 Tom, Brick, and Andy decided to go back to sucking(for lack of a better term). Kevin bowled his ass off, dropping in a Turkey and a Super Llama to finish with a stellar 236. Ryan Turkey'd out to get over average once again. Unfortunately we lost Game 3 and total pins and finished 2-5 on the night. That runs us to 15-20 after 5 weeks and begs the questions "If happy little Llamas fly beyond the rainbow why, oh why can't I?"

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 4 - 88 Nate

2012-10-01T14:20:00.001-04:00

Flashback...

2008-2009 Week 27

Unbreakable Sports Records - Wilt Chamberlin scores 100 points in one game, Cal Ripken 2632 consecutive games played, Wayne Gretzky 215 points in a season, Ty Cobb lifetime batting average .366, Cy Young 511 wins, and...Bryan 84 - one game score at league bowling!!!!!!!! Years from now everyone will have claimed to be at the Freeway Lanes that cold March night but only a handful will be telling the truth. I could write about Brick's 214 in the last game or Ryan's 206 but weeks, months, years from now we will only be talking about the night Bryan was nearly perfect. The night when he missed nearly every headpin, that night when he missed nearly every spare, the night when he didn't come close to a strike, the night when everyone who watch him throw knew he didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of breaking 100, I was there and it was awesome!!!!!!

I remember that evening like it was yesterday, it still brings a chill to me when a read the recap. Here we sit 3.5 years later and the 84 still stands as the single greatest errrr worst performance in Llama Chaser history.

"Records are made to be broken" is what we always hear. Well not the 84! That 84 means something. That 84 represents all that is great about the Llama Chasers. We want to win a bowling title but that won't stop us from making fun of one of our own when it is called for. That leads me to my good friend 88 Nate(or Brick as you may know him but that doesn't rhyme with 88).

Let me start from the top.

We began practicing bowling and the lanes seemed a little off. The ball wouldn't hook back when it normally should, seemed like maybe there was a bit too much oil or the oil pattern was something we have never used. The entire league struggled the first game. Tom, Kevin, Andy, Brick and myself were all under average but still managed to win. Game 2 it was the same story all five of us under average but another victory, I even bowled a 126 and ended up in the skirt for game 3. We were all having difficulty finding the head pin but at least we were 2-0. This is when the magic happened...

It started out with Brick shooting a stellar 50 after 5 frames. Brick has been there before but then usually throws a few strikes in a row and ends up with 150+. Not tonight. Tonight he was special!! In a determination I hadn't seen since Bryan C. in the winter on '09 Brick was locked in.

The 6/1 in the 6th frame pulled him to 57, then came a very smooth 5/0 in the 7th which brought the quiet hush of a "Don't look, don't laugh" from the table. After a 9 in the 8th frame and an 8 in the 9th, Brick was staring history in the face with a 79 through 9 frames. There was no doubt he had it in him to drop in another 5/0 as he did in the 7th. But there is no joy in Llamaland the mighty Brick got a 9...88 Nate was born.

We have had a little fun since then with 88 Nate, Tom was thinking of calling him "Dale Jr." or just "Junior" after Dale Earnhardt Jr. and his number 88.

Andy said last week "You can't spell Nate without 88." (Doesn't really make any sense but sounds fun)

Week 4 was not quite the historical night we had back in 2009 but it was close. Bryan C's 84 was bad but he averaged like a 130 that year. Brick averaged a 206 last season and bowled an 88. That's awesome if you ask me!

Check out this list of the 25 worst single game performances in sports history...

http://www.complex.com/sports/2011/05/epic-fails-the-25-worst-single-game-performances-in-sports-history/

For those of you wondering I would put 88 Nate at number 5 on this list, right between "Nick the Brick" and "Meltdown at the Masters".

We ended up losing game 3 and total pins on the night so we finished 4-3. So our slow start continues but all of our averages are down so hopefully we can get on a hot streak in the coming weeks.

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 3 - My name's Kevin...

2012-09-17T13:46:00.000-04:00

and I hate Llamas. I hate looking at them, I hate thinking about them, and I especially hate chasing them.

Kevin has never spoken those words...he doesn't have to...his actions tell us Llama Chasers all we need to know.

It starts with a simple text...

"May be late."

Followed by...

"Still here(at work)."

Sometimes he shows up for the last game of the night, sometimes he doesn't. It has the feel of an absentee father who keeps promising his kid that he will make his baseball game that night. Never worried about his kid's feelings only concerned if it is convenient for him.

Kevin, when is this going to stop? Last week Brick was in tears waiting for "dad" to show up, Tom would have been too had it not been for the flask he has hidden in his car. Kevin he bought that flask to cover up the pain you deliver us about 12 weeks per season.

Let me just tell you that it is hard to bowl with tears running down your face. Just ask Brick and his 139 in the first game. I stopped worrying about my own bowling game and looked up an saw a 99 in the 9th frame. That is when I decided I must be strong for my Llama Chaser family and promptly struck out in the 10th for a 129 game 1. Tom dropped in a 183 and we ended up losing game 1 by over 100 pins. "Part Time Llama" Andy also stiffed us after getting home from work late.

Game 2 Kevin texted "On my way". Well Whoop-De-Freaking-Doo!! Tom was so impressed he bowled a 146 and I rolled a stellar 159. Brick was doing all he could to hold the family together, he bowled a Super Llama, and a very solid 221 game. But it was not enough and we lost again.

Then dad errr Kevin showed up. I told him we need a 225 game out of him to make up for missing the first 2 games. He then opened the first 3 frames and had a nice 26 heading into the 4th frame. But then he went crazy with a spare, Mega-Llama(6 strikes in a row), spare to finish with a very disappointing 215. I didn't ask for a 215, I asked for a 225. Close does not count in bowling. The moral of the story: Even when Kevin shows up he lets us down. The good news is we all ended up over 200 in game 3; Tom 229, Ryan 203, and Brick 213. I had my first Llama on the year, so did Kevin, and Brick added his 4th. We won game 3.

So we went 2-5 on the night and now stand at 9-12 on the year. Full skirt rules kick in this week so maybe we will have some nice pictures for Llama Chaser Nation next week!!

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Week 2 - Part Time Llama

2012-09-17T11:08:00.000-04:00

(Sing to the tune of Part Time Lover)

Stand up, bowl once, it is a strike
The Llama Chasers really like

There is nothing wrong with the new part-time llama

If Brandon's gone I'll blink the lights
To let Andy know tonight's the night
For me and you my part-time llama

Week 2 arrived and it appears Brandon may miss several weeks or more with a little job conflict. The good news is we bought a jersey specifically for when a regular Llama Chasers misses a week. So we called up Andy and he slipped on the Llama Chaser jersey that says "Part-Time" on the front.

The great thing about Andy is he apparently does not need to practice and can still bowl around 200. Over the last 2 years we have called on him several times and whether it has been 6 months or 6 weeks since he last bowled he always seems to do well.

Although he struggled a bit in Game 1, the good/bad news is we all struggled and we lost the first game by well over 100 pins.

Game 2 the Llama Chasers finally started to get our mojo back with Andy leading the way.(I lost the stat sheet so I am going to give my best guess as to what happened). Andy was on fire!!!! After an open in the first frame he dropped in a Double Llama(8 strikes in a row) and finished in the mid 250's. Tom, Kevin, and Brick probably continued to suck, knowing they did not have to worry about the skirt, but did just enough to help us win. I'm sure I did as I normally do...awesome!!! That all added up to big win in game 2.

Game 3 Andy continued to dominate. I even remember the other team telling him to go home. I think Andy even dropped in another Llama. If my memory serves me Kevin, Brick, and Tom might have actually bowled above, not only their skirt averages, but the real averages. Even though they still don't realize we have averages for the fist 3 weeks. We won Game 3 and even came back to take the total pins on the night.

So we went 5-2 on the night which brings us to 7-7 on the year!! Thanks to Andy for filling in and kicking ass! We may need to see a lot more of that with Brandon being out for the foreseeable future.

As always you can find us on Facebook or on Twitter

Who you gonna call...SLUMPBUSTERS!

2012-09-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

Representation of Sgt. Slumpbuster, RIP

Before the Llama Chasers were born in the fall of 2001, a bowling team existed that was based around this guy, his name is Sgt. Slumpbuster, and he spent many Monday nights "reporting for duty", which meant floating in the top of a pitcher of draft beer. The lucky individual who had Sgt. Slumpbuster floating in their beer was said to have good luck from the bowling Gods. Based on the score sheet attached below you can see that didn't happen often.

Unfortunately Sgt. Slumpbuster was lost to a nasty fungal problem that was created from poor airflow inside of bowling bags, and stale beer that somehow seeped inside of him. However, Sgt. Slumpbuster is one cherished memory from those pre-Llama Chaser bowling days, where it was more about drinking beer and having fun, then actually winning.

Click the score sheet below for a larger view team number 8 or click here.

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