Sr. Libby Fernandez -Sister of Mercy, and Mercy Associates, Liz Shortridge, Pam Butts , Maria Acuna-Feldman

Sr. Libby recalls first volunteering at Loaves & Fishes in 1985 and then later went on to become the executive director for eleven years. She joined the Sisters of Mercy in making their now-famous taco casserole. “The recipe has not changed too much—we still have lots of cheese and lots of chips,” she shares with a smile. The Sisters were among the first five volunteer groups to work with founders Chris and Dan Delany when Loaves & Fishes began in 1983. Despite the passing years, the tradition has remained much the same—offering not only food but dignity, kindness, and understanding.

Mercy Associate volunteer and board member, Dorothy Smith, who has been involved since 1991, witnessed the shifting landscape of homelessness in Sacramento. “Being without a home or shelter is at the very least demoralizing, frightening, and overwhelming,” she says. “Where do I sleep? Where do I eat? What if I get sick?” Through it all, the unwavering mission of Loaves & Fishes has remained a beacon of hope: to provide an oasis of welcome, hospitality, and survival services for those in need. For Dorothy and many others, the faces they serve are not strangers but individuals they have known for years—sometimes decades—people whose stories are interwoven with their own. “One thing about Loaves I have learned is to meet people where they are, how they are, and see how I can be helpful in the moment.”

The impact of the Sisters’ commitment extends far beyond a single meal. Sr. Rita, who helped introduce Liz Shortridge, Mercy Associate of ten years to Loaves & Fishes, played a key role in expanding the volunteer presence over the years. Liz, along with Sr. Corita and others devoted her time to Maryhouse Breakfast in the early years, ensuring that women and children had a warm and welcoming start to their day. For Liz, the experience was deeply rewarding, emphasizing not just service but personal and spiritual fulfillment. She reflects, “You give very little, but you get so much back,” highlighting the gratitude and connection that come from volunteering. She also recalls the strong collaboration with Sindy, dining room volunteer coordinator, and Chef Ed, whose management fostered an environment where volunteers felt valued and supported.

Volunteers like Linda Panntoni, Sharon, Maria Acuna Feldman, and Margaret Erwin have each played an integral role, giving their time and hearts to ensure no guest is forgotten. Margaret, a veteran, has been a key part of organizing Veterans Day celebrations at Loaves & Fishes, while Angie Mendoza, a former Legal Clinic employee, has continued to find ways to support the mission. Each person’s involvement adds another layer to the rich history of service that defines Loaves & Fishes.

Beyond their direct service, the Sisters of Mercy have continued to support Loaves & Fishes through generous funding of critical programs that serve women and children. Their contributions have helped sustain essential services at Maryhouse, ensuring that women experiencing homelessness have access to safety, dignity, and resources for a better future.

We’re grateful for The Sisters of Mercy and their extended community of volunteers, who have chosen to focus on what they can do in the moment. They pour their energy into direct service, ensuring that every meal served is an act of love, every interaction a moment of grace. Their work is a testament to the power of faith in action, proving that small, consistent acts of kindness can transform lives.

Consider making a contribution to Maryhouse this month in honor of Women’s History Month. Or you can sign up to volunteer by contacting volunteers@sacloaves.org.

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For 36 years, Mustard Seed School has been a sanctuary of learning, love, and stability for children experiencing homelessness. Behind the warm smiles and welcoming classrooms are the dedicated volunteers whose time and compassion make a world of difference. Three of these incredible individuals—Ms. Felicia, Mr. Alex, and Mr. John—share what it means to be part of Mustard Seed and the profound impact it has had on their lives.

Ms. Felicia has been volunteering at Mustard Seed since 2011, marking fourteen years of service this October. She first learned about the school through a charity fair and knew instantly this was where she wanted to spend her retirement. “I so enjoy working with the children and the staff—I feel like I have a purpose there!” she says. Over the years, every child she has met has touched her heart, from those learning to write their names to those tackling math problems with newfound confidence. Yet, she sees firsthand the challenges the children face—lack of stability, access to education, and mental and physical health struggles. Still, Mustard Seed provides them with a safe, loving environment where they can simply be kids. “Volunteering here has made me so aware that our society cannot ignore homelessness anymore,” she reflects. “I hope that I have helped give the children purpose, too.”

For Mr. Alex, volunteering at Mustard Seed has been one of the most rewarding experiences of his life. Over the past eight years, he has brought science and art activities to the 6th-8th grade classroom, fostering creativity and curiosity in his students. “The art they produce is amazing,” he shares, even compiling their work into photo books for the school. He understands that the goal of Mustard Seed is to be a bridge for children, preparing them for public school education. “I can’t imagine how difficult it is for those who don’t have this support to be thrust into regular school, often mid-year and without friends.” Though he only sees the children in the stability of Mustard Seed’s campus, he knows the hardships they face beyond its gates. “Once inside, the sense of calm and safety is palpable. That chance to escape, even for a little while, is an amazing gift.”

Mr. John is the newest of the three volunteers, having started in February 2024, but his passion for helping children experiencing homelessness runs deep. He has formed a special bond with one older student, playing chess, shooting hoops, and helping with math. “I understand his father isn’t in the picture, and I sense he carries a lot of responsibility on his shoulders,” Mr. John shares. “He is very bright and creative, and I believe he can go far if given the chance.” He acknowledges the academic setbacks many children face and how difficult it is to catch up after prolonged instability. Mustard Seed, he says, is a crucial bridge, offering education, counseling, and assessments to help ease that transition. “It has given me a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by homeless young people, especially in their education. The bridge that Mustard Seed provides is invaluable.”

Each of these volunteers agrees that Mustard Seed is a place of transformation—for the children and themselves. They encourage others to join, highlighting the flexibility, the joy of working with a wonderful staff, and the opportunity to make a direct impact on a child’s life. “It is not difficult to make a real difference,” Mr. Alex says. And as Mr. John puts it simply, “It’s a chance to have a direct impact on children’s lives and make a difference!”

Please consider making a donation to Mustard Seed School in honor of its 36th Anniversary. To inquire about volunteering please contact volunteers@sacloaves.org.

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For women who have endured chronic homelessness and mental illness, survival often takes precedence over everything else, even over healing and the simple joys of life. Sr. Nora’s Place at Sacramento Loaves & Fishes offers more than just shelter; it provides a rare sanctuary where women can begin to move beyond survival mode and into healing, community, and hope. The journey is not easy, but as “Claudia”, a former guest shared, “Having a safe place to sleep and regular meals enabled me to begin the process of reconstructing my life. It was slow going, and I greatly appreciated that SNP allowed me the opportunity to move forward at my own pace.”

At Sr. Nora’s Place, healing is not just about meeting basic needs but about reawakening the spirit. Dr. Sarah Astarte, a psychologist and counselor who leads weekly therapy and meditation sessions, understands the depth of these stories. Her work at Sr. Nora’s Place was made possible through a generous grant from the Sisters of Mercy, allowing her to guide the women through weekly group therapy, meditation, journaling exercises, and creative projects like making holiday cards together. “These are amazing and resilient women who are deep thinkers. They are some of the best meditators I have ever worked with. We journey together.” she says. 

A sense of belonging is what turns a shelter into a home. For the women at Sr. Nora’s Place, the kindness of staff, volunteers, and fellow residents provides an anchor during their most vulnerable moments. Claudia recalled the profound impact of the meal volunteers. “There were a variety of individuals and families who came, but they had one thing in common. They cared.” That care, offered through a warm meal, an encouraging word, or simply the act of listening, helps restore dignity and trust in a world that has often been unkind.

Resilience is built step by step. Claudia described how she learned to set both short-term and long-term goals, navigating the bureaucracy of housing and healthcare with patience and persistence. “When you are homeless, there is a lot of bureaucracy that you have to deal with. It can be complicated and anxiety-producing. The best thing I learned was to focus on one thing at a time.” 

Today, Claudia is housed, employed, and rediscovering her passions. “I have a job and my own apartment. I am pursuing my hobbies again. I have interests and thoughts other than myself and my situation.” Her message to others facing similar hardships is one of perseverance: “Homelessness turns everything inside out and upside down and locks you into survival mode. Work on getting your feet back under you. It is possible to become housed again, but first, you need to be thinking clearly, which might require the proper medication and/or getting clean and sober.”

Gratitude runs deep for those who find solace at Sr. Nora’s Place. Claudia reflected on the support she received from staff and volunteers who helped her regain her footing. “To the staff of SNP, I would say to listen. Also to be helpful to those trying to deal with bureaucracy of all kinds. And I thank those who listened to me and those who helped me find all the forms I needed and helped me fill out those forms.” To the volunteers, she expressed heartfelt appreciation: “I appreciate so much your non-judgmental presence in SNP. There was one volunteer that I got especially close to. She was very supportive when I was trying to find an apartment and equally supportive after I moved in.”

Dr. Astarte sees this transformation weekly. “This community of women is full of vibrance and value,” she says. “Stop and listen to them. For those out there who judge homelessness, you couldn’t be more wrong. Do not dismiss these women. They have powerful stories that deserve to be heard.”

Sr. Nora’s Place of Sacramento Loaves & Fishes is more than a shelter, it’s a testament to the power of compassion, patience, and support. It is a place where women rebuild their lives, find their voices, and rediscover their strength.

January we celebrated the 20th anniversary of Sr. Nora’s Place. Would you like to volunteer in helping provide meals? Contact info@sacloaves.org to help get you started. Please consider supporting this profoundly impactful program for women to continue to find refuge and healing from homelessness.

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Among them have been students from Granite Bay High School’s student government club who collected pants, underwear, and shoes for guests. A second group from Granite Bay High’s Sock Commission collected and donated 800 pairs of socks this month also! We were able to catch up with a third group of students from Franklin High School’s Eunoia club who recently dropped off 80 care kits at our warehouse last weekend. 

Katelynn and Katelyn co lead the Eunoia Club of Franklin High School. They actually started organizing over the past few months along with other Franklin High Eunoia Club members. In November, the club assembled eighty hygiene kits filled with essential items like soap, toothbrushes, and other personal care products, ensuring our guests have access to the basics that are so often out of reach. “We wanted to create something that would really be useful and needed,” said Katelynn, one of the club’s co-presidents. In December, the Eunoia students crafted tie blankets to add to the hygiene kits. “Knowing that someone might feel a little warmer and cared for is a good feeling,” Katelynn added.

Our warehouse staff processes countless donations daily, and this work becomes especially vital during the holiday season when the need in our community is greatest. Donations like the hygiene kits and blankets from Franklin Eunoia play a crucial role in supporting our mission. “It’s amazing to see how much we can do when we all come together,” Katelyn reflected. These contributions make an enormous difference in the lives of our guests, meeting immediate needs while also providing hope and relief during challenging times. Every contribution brings us closer to creating a more compassionate world where nobody gets left behind. 

These efforts remind us that the heart of our mission is alive and well in the younger generation. The students of Granite Bay and Franklin High are more than donors; they are part of a larger story of neighbors caring for neighbors, a legacy we hope will continue for many more years to come and by the looks of it we are well on our way there. 

Find out how you can get involved this year.

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The idea came to Shelly Hollenbeck during a classroom discussion in the fall of 2006 at American River College. Her students were talking about Thanksgiving, and one student who had experienced homelessness shared how much he looked forward to the meal at Sacramento Loaves & Fishes. He mentioned missing out on pumpkin pie one year because it had run out by the time he got to the front of the line. This comment struck Shelly, who realized providing pies could be a simple but meaningful way to help.

In 2007, Shelly and Theresa took action by asking friends and family to pitch in for pumpkin pies to contribute to the Loaves & Fishes Thanksgiving meal. What began as a small gesture quickly grew into an expansive grassroots effort involving sleeping bags and an ever-expanding network of supporters. Each year, more people come together to make a difference.

When asked what keeps them going after 18 years, Shelly and Theresa point to the community of supporters who return every Thanksgiving to contribute. “As long as people keep coming back, wanting to do this with us, we’ll continue. We never expected to still be doing this after all these years, but we’re often touched by our network—many thank us for the opportunity to help,” Shelly says. “Most people want to make a difference but don’t know where to start. Doing it with family, neighbors, and friends makes it even more special.”

This effort highlights why community support is so important to the work we do here at Sacramento Loaves & Fishes. We receive many donations from individuals for our Thanksgiving meal every year and to know that folks like the Hollenbeck’s are gathering their personal connections to maximize their generosity is truly what the spirit of the season is about and that is just as sweet as pie.

Today is Giving Tuesday and a great reminder to continue sharing the connection of giving.

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Lynn standing next to one of her favorite people, J.R

The Dining Room at Loaves & Fishes, especially as winter approaches, becomes an essential place for many in Sacramento’s unhoused community. It’s here that Lynn and volunteers like her provide much more than food—they offer connection, warmth, and a sense of belonging. “It’s a warm, fuzzy, heartwarming experience,” she says. “I get more out of serving than the guests do from being served. Loaves & Fishes makes me appreciate everything that I have.” This gratitude fuels Lynn’s passion, even when the work is challenging, as it was during the COVID-19 pandemic when she had to step back from volunteering. Yet, she was amazed by how the staff persevered, ensuring guests were still served, a commitment that inspired her to return as soon as she could.

Lynn and friends with a message to Loaves & Fishes during the pandemic, hung outside the serving window.

Through the years, Lynn has watched as many guests took steps toward stability, gaining jobs, housing, and even returning to school. These transformations affirm her belief in the importance of Loaves & Fishes’ mission: to provide consistent, compassionate support that helps people move forward. It’s a hopeful reminder of what’s possible.

As our lunch lines grow in the Dining Room, so does the need for helping hands. Each volunteer, from those serving meals to those offering a kind word, plays a part in creating a sanctuary for Sacramento’s unhoused. If you’d like to join Lynn in making a difference, please reach out to our volunteer coordinator, Cyndy Pressley, at volunteers@sacloaves.org.

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The school itself is a sanctuary of beauty and wonder, a place where children can feel a sense of ownership and pride in their work. Stacy Johnson ensures that every corner of the classrooms reflects this care. Under her leadership, the school combines a Montessori and Mustard Seed philosophy with a strong social-emotional curriculum that gives students more than just academic knowledge—it gives them the tools to navigate the complexities of their own emotions. Stacy recalls recently when a six-year-old student asked her, “Is the school ready?” She confidently answered yes, knowing her team had prepared a welcoming space with the joy of anticipation in mind that each child experiences every day in this interactive and fun learning environment.

But the challenges are real and ever-present. Lucia and her team often face heartbreaking moments when there are simply no shelters available, “One of the biggest challenges that I face when helping a family is that there are no emergency shelters for them, leaving families to sleep in their cars or outside.” Yet, even in the face of these obstacles, they continue to build an environment of resilience and hope.

Through the reintroduction of the “TOOLBOX” curriculum (that was started by former staff in 2017, but interrupted during the pandemic), children are learning to manage their emotions and are beginning to realize the agency they have over their own lives. “Toolbox enables us to use the inner ‘tools’ that already exist inside us. It helps build resilience, self-mastery, and empathy for ourselves and others,” says Stacy. 

At Mustard Seed, the victories may seem small—a child feeling the joy of laughter with friends, a family finding support that allows them the mental space to have hope—but they are powerful steps toward a better future. Every day, the kids at Mustard Seed leave their difficult living environments and step into a place that truly belongs to them, giving them something solid to hold onto. It’s in these small, daily triumphs that the real magic of Mustard Seed is found.

Mustard Seed has an ongoing wishlist if you would like to see how you can help this Fall.

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“We’re a group of misfits.” – Rich Beck

Loose Change is an established Dining Room volunteer group that came together in the very beginnings of Loaves & Fishes, earning its status as a Loaves & Fishes Legacy Group. Rich and Joanne Beck moved from Upstate New York to Sacramento, CA. in the early ‘70’s. The couple came upon Loaves & Fishes more than 38 years ago, when they donated to the organization for the first time. Rich was mesmerized by what he saw on his first visit to Loaves & Fishes. “It was a madhouse,” said Rich, “There was a chaotic but strategic commotion at the Loaves & Fishes Dining Room.” The couple joined a volunteer group soon thereafter, called Loose Change.

In a historical Loaves & Fishes moment, the Beck’s with Loose Change are pictured in the 2,000,000th meal photo that is on the wall near the dining room’s entrance. 

Meeting Rich felt like meeting a proud parent. He took in so much joy introducing every volunteer and showing off how their legendary 40+ year old soup is made. “Back in those days, alongside [Loaves & Fishes founders] Chris & Dan Delany, we would collect our ‘loose change’ in a hat we’d pass around, and with that we’d buy ingredients for the stew. The soup would be made from scratch at the first Loaves & Fishes kitchen and then transported in a station wagon to feed the hungry who were already waiting in line for their meal,” says Beck. 

Today Loose Change is a multi-generational effort of volunteerism.

Lucille who is 84 years old is also one of the original members, “When I came here, it was so exciting. And I was super happy to be here. And now I’m 84, still going strong!,” says Lucille.  She often volunteers with her son Miles, who has been running around the Loaves kitchen since he was a boy, with his mom. “I remember when I was a kid and just helping out and feeding people knowing that you’re doing something positive. That’s nice,” says Miles.  

Mother & Son; dedicated Dining Room volunteers.

Although Beck jokes about the chaos in the kitchen, everything ran smoothly like a well-oiled machine with all volunteers knowing exactly what to do. Today, Rich Beck, at 79 leads the Loose Change group and prepares beef stew every 2nd Saturday. He takes the time to educate young volunteers who occasionally join Loose Change and hopes to keep them motivated and passionate about creating positive change in their community. 

Would you like to join us in our Dining Room?  Contact our volunteer coordinator Cyndy Pressley at volunteers@sacloaves.org to help get you started. 

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One of the marks of good leadership is knowing you can’t do it all alone & our founders, Chris & Dan Delany, were not exempt from such knowing. They started the Catholic Worker house right here in Sacramento which eventually became the space of origin for the Loaves & Fishes we know and love today. As they dove deep into the work of justice and non-violent direct action, they were keenly aware that the charge they felt called to, “feed the hungry” would require a whole host of passionate individuals.

As Loaves & Fishes grew, buying an old bar to serve as the first Dining Room and attracting many community volunteers (as well as the judgment of the City of Sacramento) it became clear that our radical founders needed an organizer to come in and pave the way for what we now celebrate as 40 years of daily miracles; enter LeRoy Chatfield. 

LeRoy arrived with years of organizing experience under his belt and he was passionate about advocating for justice (he had done years of work with Chavez and the farmworkers) but here he was asked to organize the finances of a rapidly growing Loaves & Fishes. During his time not only did he organize finances, working closely with former CFO Rudy Ahumada, he also organized the Board of Directors and oversaw the genesis of Maryhouse, Hope House, the New Dining Room, St. John’s Shelter, Brother Martin’s Courtyard, Graveside Services Program (now the Memorial Wall), Mustard Seed School, Women’s Wisdom Project, Our Daily Bread Program, Friendship Park, Jail VIsitation, Loha’s Playground, the Reading Room/Library, and so much more. 

While LeRoy’s contributions to Loaves & Fishes are plenty  & while many of them are seen in new iterations today, one thing remains the same: we serve guests, not clients. LeRoy gave language and framework to this idea turned into 40 years of action.

-Written by: Shannon Dominguez-Stevens, Maryhouse Director

With his permission, we share his own words on “Guests, Not Clients” from his collection of Easy Essays.

Loaves & Fishes serves guests, not clients. 

Guests are made to feel welcome, hospitality is extended. Clients are expected to make (and keep) appointments. No appointment, no service.

Guests are accepted as friends, given the benefit of the doubt, and not kept waiting. Clients are expected to wait patiently, however long it takes, and then listen up when their turn comes. 

Guests are treated as equals; they do not have to justify their presence. Clients must prove their need with ID and detailed questionnaires. 

Guests are free to kick back, relax, and catch a few rays. Clients have to be scrutinized, toe the mark, or seek services elsewhere. 

Guests are free to ask questions, criticize, and challenge the system. Clients are expected to be grateful for any service rendered, and no talking back, please. 

Guests are free to help themselves to seconds. Clients are notified that one is sufficient. 

Guests are free to come and go as they please. Clients need permission. 

The most challenging part of being a Loaves & Fishes staff member is to understand – and practice – the difference between guest and client. Some prospective staff members are inherently incapable of making the transition from client to guest because of a deeply held bias that they are different from and therefore better than guests. Some of the measuring sticks a staff member uses to mark this difference are so superficial, they could be called silly. Some examples: education (“my degree”), fashion (“Where did you get that cute outfit?”), life style (“I’m going to work out”), mobility (“I’m going to L.A. for the weekend”), status (“What does your father do?”), career (“Where did you go to grad school?”). Even the often-quoted scripture admonition, “There but for the grace of God, go I” is interpreted to mean, “You poor bastards.” 

Finally, the Loaves & Fishes staff member must be nonjudgmental, period. No exceptions. There is no latitude to say this guest deserves help, but that one is hopeless. Or this guest is ready to reform, but that one is a trouble-maker. Or this guest is cooperative and needs my help, but that one is a pain in the ass and can be ignored. 

When Loaves & Fishes staff members begin to experience the joy of working with guests, not clients, they experience a new-found freedom in their daily work. This new relationship is honest, mature, and more like the values expressed in the Gospel. These guests – former clients – now suddenly have ideas and points of view worth considering. They can be wise beyond understanding and challenge us to live the present moment now, today. Some have great talents bottled up within, trying to find expression. Many are generous beyond all measure. Most have suffered traumatic physical injuries and walk every step with pain relieved from time to time only by self medication. They don’t justify or make excuses about their shortcomings. They do not curse their fortune or the hand that has been dealt them, and they live with such hope! 

As one who has been fortunate to work at Loaves & Fishes for many years, I can sense when staff members have made the difficult transition from client to guest, because the refrain is nearly identical: “I have received from the guests much more than I gave.”

Established in 1983, Sacramento Loaves & Fishes is the largest homeless survival services organization in the Sacramento area. The 4.5-acre campus has 16 programs and services, including warm hearty meals, life-saving supplies, hygiene care, mental health counseling, education for children, long-term overnight shelter for women, and offers friendship to nearly 1,000 adults and children each day. In the spirit of hospitality and radical love, Loaves & Fishes is an oasis for guests seeking respite and a space of belonging.   

For more information call 916-446-0874.

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“In joined hands there is still some token of hope, in the clinched fist none.”

Victor Hugo

We, at Loaves and Fishes, are called not only to respond to the material and spiritual needs of the individuals we serve, but also to advocate with them and for them.  As a marvelous example of how the multiple programs of Loaves and Fishes can serve people, we would like to introduce Saad. 

Saad, pronounced “Said”, came from Morocco in 1997 through a green card lottery called Diversity Program.  He was hopeful he could obtain a “new life” full of accomplishments.  At first, life was going positively with jobs and saving money. However, high rents landed him into homelessness. The downward spiral continued when the life of homelessness led into other issues and a loss of hope.  For the first time in his life, Saad turned to drugs and went into a downward spiral culminating in a mental breakdown in 2019. He lost contact with his family for 13 years while he was living with addiction and experiencing homelessness.  Fortunately for Saad, there were many agencies which initially assisted him to “arise from the depths,” including Loaves and Fishes (L&F).  

Suzi Ettin, Director of the Jail Visitation Program and  the Tommy Clinkenbeard Legal Clinic (TCLC), has known Saad for 11 years.  He would come to Loaves & Fishes for release services after being in jail; he accessed showers, food, and more. As Saad became clean and sober through various programs, he set a goal to get back to work and find a place to live which presented even more challenges.  Many people do not realize how lack of identification, arrest records, unpaid tickets, and probation hinder folks from gaining employment, housing and numerous other things which we take for granted.  Suzi began working with Saad and the Public Defenders; Saad came to L&F for an Expungement Clinic in May of 2021 in collaboration with Sacramento Public Defenders Record Cleaning Unit.  It was discovered that Saad had to clear up some infractions and get off of probation before the expungement process could start.  Our Loaves & Fishes Court, with the help of the Public Defenders, were able to get his infractions reduced to Community Service hours which he was able to work off at L&F.  He succeeded in getting early termination of his probation and finally his record was completely cleared.  

Saad is now working three part-time jobs and applying for housing.  Employers and landlords often run background checks and he now has a clean record!  Saad is in contact with his mother in Morocco and speaks with her daily.  Saad dreams of starting a family with his current girlfriend who lives in Morocco and his goal is to bring her to the US.  For this goal to be completed Saad returned to TCLC to see the Family Law volunteer, Becky.  Saad was married in 1998 briefly and needed to obtain a divorce but Saad has not had any contact with her since they separated. Becky suggested reaching out on social media to see if he could locate her.   A quick search of Facebook found a possibility.  The Facebook account had not been used in 10 years but we encouraged him to write a post.  He heard back from her almost immediately, another L&F miracle!  She had completed the divorce many years ago and quickly emailed the divorce decree, we called the Hawaii courts and confirmed Saad would receive a certified copy for his records.

Saad’s life is coming together. Saad is determined to remain clean and sober, to continue mental health monitoring, and working with various programs at L & F that assist in his life recovery.  

As we finish this letter for publication, Saad has obtained full time employment in a field that he was interested in.  He recently reported to Suzi and Becky that he feels a pull to return to his spiritual roots of Morocco.  As a young person he was not committed to his Muslim faith; however, he has been moved to seek out his religion because of the abundance of assistance he has received. He has joined a local Mosque and attends regularly. 

Saad’s story of hope and perseverance is just one of the many that we are privileged to witness each day.  The Tommy Clinkenbeard Legal Clinic does not accept any government funds and relies on the generous donations from the public to continue our work to nourish the physical and legal needs of our guests and affirm their spiritual need for acceptance and respect.

For more information on these life changing programs please feel free to call Jail Visitation at 916-447-9472 or the Tommy Clinkenbeard Legal Clinic at 916-446-0368. Donations can be made at our website www.sacloaves.org.

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After over a decade of service at Loaves & Fishes, Casey Knittel has moved on & we welcome new Program Director, Lucia Vega! Lucia is new to her role but no stranger to Mustard Seed School; from guest to Program Director, here is a little about Lucia.

Tell us about yourself, and why working at Mustard Seed is important to you?

My name is Lucia, I have been at Mustard Seed for 8 years. Mustard Seed is important to me because now I have the privilege to serve our families the same way they served me when I was homeless. To be able to give our families unconditional support and guidance while they are enrolled with us.

What brought you to Loaves & what keeps you here?

11 years ago, my family and I were homeless. We came to Loaves looking for services and were connected to Family Promise family shelter. What keeps me here is that my heart tells me this is where I belong.

What is the one thing you wish people knew about Loaves & Fishes?

We enjoy creating the little miracles here with every student that walks through our doors.

You’ve seen Loaves & Fishes from the guest side of things as well as the staff side, what stands out to you about the campus and the work that is done here?

There is no judgement no matter what your situation is. L&F takes you as you are and meets you where you are. 

What do you hope to amplify in your time leading Mustard Seed School?

I hope to amplify the need for families to be sheltered or housed. So many unsheltered families but not enough emergency shelters.

Are there any stories that you want to share?

Last week, I took our outreach JV out to show her what outreach consists of and we ran into a previous student who is still camping in the same dirt field. The smile on his face when I drove up to him was so warming and just melted my heart. We made such a huge impact on him that he asked if we could help enroll him into public school, which we did the next day. It’s the little things that hold a special place in Mustard Seed

Is there anything you want to add about yourself or about how you feel in your new role?

 I am excited to start the new school year off with such an amazing staff. I am really looking forward to meeting new students and providing a safe place for them here with us. I am ready to  take on any challenges this role brings. Definitely stepping out of my comfort zone.

Mustard Seed School has been serving children experiencing homelessness since 1989. Providing a Montessori style, quality education for children ages 3 -15 in a safe and nurturing environment.

For more information call 916-447-3626.

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The Dining Room has a new Program Director, Irma Alvarez-Gutierrez! Irma is new to the Dining Room but she has been serving as the Assistant Director of Friendship Park since last year so she is no stranger to our campus community. As we celebrate our 38th year of serving meals to people experiencing homelessness, we highlight the woman leading the program that started it all.

Tell us about yourself, what you did before you joined the Loaves campus community?

I am in individual that truly believes in our mission here at Loaves & Fishes. I have been on this career path for 10 years as I have worked with homeless families in shelters where they were housed and guided to self-sufficiency.  

What brought you to Loaves & what keeps you here?

I found myself unemployed and looking for work but not just any work. I wanted to find myself applying for a position in the line of helping others. I was looking to continue to provide guidance to services for those in need. In the years I worked at homeless shelters I was aware of the services at Friendship Park but never had that opportunity to visit the program. As I was looking for work a close friend sent me the link to the position of Friendship Park Assistant Director so I applied! I was lucky to have an interview with the Director who told me he would call me for a second interview if applicable, I couldn’t wait for his call so I called him and I think that’s what really opened the doors to Loaves & Fishes for me.

What is the one thing you wish people knew about Loaves & Fishes?

It would be more than one thing because when people see a homeless individual they quickly assume that they are bad people and don’t know that these individuals need more help than others. I would like people to know that here at Loaves & Fishes we try as a community to provide our guests with an environment of hospitality, safety and cleanliness where our staff is waiting to serve and provide them with services needed.

What is different about your time at Friendship Park vs your time in the Dining Room?

The main difference is the daily interactions that I had with our guests, I don’t have as many. So I go out on my walks through the campus to connect with guests.

What do you hope to amplify in your time in the Dining Room?

What I hope to amplify is our mission here at Loaves & Fishes. I hope to be able to make our Dining Room a nice environment for our guests to enjoy their meals.

Are there any stories that you want to share?

A picture of a guest and a child at Loaves & Fishes came to me while I was at my previous job, this picture makes a path to the Dining Room. At my previous job I was given a photo of a guest and his little girl but at the time I didn’t have any space in why small office to hang it so I kept it behind the door and it traveled with me. I had no place for it in my home, well, I didn’t want a picture of someone I didn’t knowing my house so I left it in my garage until I started working at Loaves & Fishes and my significant other said that I’m at Loaves now so I should hang the picture in my office. I hung the picture in my Friendship Park office, I thought the picture was a sign that I would be working here but I never paid much attention to a sign in the background of the photo that says LOAVES & FISHES DINING ROOM! It wasn’t until I sat in my new Dining Room Director’s Office that I realized this picture was walking me into this new role.

Is there anything you want to add about yourself or about how you feel in your new role?

I am excited and happy I was chosen for this position. I feel that I have so much to offer the guests and staff!

The Loaves & Fishes Dining Room has been in operation since 1983. We serve a warm and nutritious midday meal 364 days a year (excluding Thanksgiving). Over 1,000 volunteers including church groups, company employee groups, services clubs and individuals alike, help serve meals annually. For many of our guests this may be the only meal they receive for the day.

Program Hours: Monday – Friday 11:30 AM – 1 PM & Saturday – Sunday 11 AM – 12:30 PM

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Fun fact: Our very own Executive Director, Angela Hassell, began at Loaves & Fishes as a Jesuit Volunteer at Mustard Seed School.

Lin Robertson (she/her/hers)

Hometown: Reading, PA

Favorite Song: Call It Dreaming by Iron & Wine

Favorite Loaves Lunch: Corned Beef & Cabbage

What have you learned at Loaves? As my time at Friendship Park comes to an end, I’ve been thinking a lot about what my coworkers and the guests have taught me. I have learned so many names and with each new name came another chance for a deeper connection. And now much of my day is filled with greetings and stories. I’ve also heard plenty of stories about Friendship Park before the pandemic, and I have learned that despite the restrictions we are still able to show up for our guests in ways that reflect the unique oasis that the Park is.

What do you hope to leave behind? I hope to leave behind a spirit of goodwill and friendship to all my coworkers and the guests we serve.

Marcellese Powell (she/her/hers)

Hometown: Lacrosse, WI

Favorite Song: Soweto Blues by Juls

Favorite Loaves & Fishes Lunch: Potato Bar or Maryhouse Salad

What have you learned? I have learned how resilient the women we serve every day are. I’ve learned hospitality has many faces; a simple hug, a cup of warm coffee to warm up a body after a cold night outside. I’ve learned the value of slowing down and mindfully being present to all of our guests. I learned that my Maryhouse team is truly unstoppable and their valuable support has helped me flourish on some of my hardest days. It’s been magical to spend the year here, watching the transitions of the campus and the program. The flexibility we have for our community of guests experiencing homelessness has truly been inspirational.

What I hope to leave behind: Reminders to live in color, to laugh often and to spread love – and hugs.

Molly Carroll (she/her/hers)

Hometown: Charolotte, NC

Favorite Loaves Lunch: Potato Bar!

Favorite Song: Heart’s Content by Brandi Carlile

What have you learned? This year I have been continually re-learning what it means to to be where my feet are. Everyone at Mustard Seed has taught me so much about what it looks like to care for and support these developing humans in a way that honors their dignity and worth so fully. The kids in my classroom have taught me to go slow, to notice good things, and to take myself waaaay less seriously. I am grateful for all that they are and all that they will continue to be beyond my time with them.

What do you hope to leave behind? I hope that in my time here I have helped foster more spaces that feel soft and intentional and accepting. I hope I have given students a space to be joyful and angry and sad and feel what they feel! I hope to leave behind a space for kids at Mustard Seed to continue to be their full, messy, weird, emotional selves. I have learned more during my time here than I could ever hope to leave and I am better because of all of it! 

Jenna Roskopf (she/her/hers)

Hometown: Solon, IA

Favorite Loaves Lunch: BBQ Chicken

Favorite Song: Superstition by Stevie Wonder

What have you learned? Spending time with the Mustard Seed kids and families has shown me that amongst the crazy world we live in, there is so much joy to be found in the little moments. Whether it be a game of basketball, telling jokes at lunch, or belting out “Old Town Road” on the van rides to and from school— I’ve learned how important it is to just be present in the moment for these kids. I feel so lucky to be at an agency that truly opens their arms and welcomes all people no matter their situation or story.

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Legal Clinic and Jail Visitation Program Director, Suzi Ettin writes about her experience visiting the downtown county jail on inauguration day.

I had to be at the jail early this morning on this day where we welcome a new president to office in the US.  The sun was just coming up as I was driving south on 7th St. and it was cold outside, but at least the wind that we’ve had for the last two days had stopped overnight.  When I reached 7th and I St. I was unable to turn right to park in front of the jail.  The street was barricaded at both ends.  I was able to park on 7th and then speak with officers at the barricade to tell them about my appointment with a jail staff member.  They let me through and when I got to the front door of the jail I could see across the street to the Federal Court House which had a large presence of the National Guard around the building.    

I thought that maybe if we could all (myself included) be as generous and caring as this woman had just been that we wouldn’t need barricades or jails or courthouses protected by men and women carrying large guns. Maybe people wouldn’t have to sleep on concrete in the cold and wind.  Maybe there would be enough blankets for everyone. 

The Sheriff helicopter was already circling over the downtown area.  When I completed my task I was once again allowed to get past the barricade.  On my way to my car there was a woman ahead of me with a blanket around her shoulders and two plastic bags in her arms.  In a corner of the SHRA building this woman noticed a man sleeping with just a light jacket on and his clothes.  She stopped, removed the blanket from around her shoulders, and  very gently placed it over the sleeping man and then kept on walking.  I couldn’t help but be in awe of this woman with her entire belongings in two bags and giving away her only blanket.  I thought that maybe if we could all (myself included) be as generous and caring as this woman had just been that we wouldn’t need barricades or jails or courthouses protected by men and women carrying large guns. Maybe people wouldn’t have to sleep on concrete in the cold and wind.  Maybe there would be enough blankets for everyone.  Later in the morning we gave away blankets here at Loaves & Fishes.  I hope she was here to get one if she wanted one. I will continue to hope, pray, and work to bring about better times. I will remain full of gratitude long after this morning for being a witness to love and kindness.  

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What compelled you to volunteer at Maryhouse?

I retired in 2014 and for a year I just enjoyed doing fun things like meeting with friends for walks, meeting for lunch and dinner and going to the theatre and spending more time with my family. Although it was fun something was missing from my life. I volunteered at Loaves and Fishes preparing for Thanksgiving in 2015 and when I arrived at the campus and said Hi to a few guests I knew this was a place I wanted to spend more time. In January 2015 I attended an orientation at Loaves and Fishes and I spoke to Sister Libby and she said Maryhouse needs a volunteer. When we arrived at Maryhouse on the tour and I met the Maryhouse staff and met some of the guests ;I knew this was a place I would love to know more. After having two successful careers I wanted to give back and this looked like a great opportunity to do that. I must say that I received much much more from the guests and staff that I gave to them.

What does the Maryhouse Program mean to you?

It is a very special place for very courageous women who are trying to make the best of very difficult circumstances which includes but is not limited to not having shelter and food. I admire and respect each guest because they are doing something that I could not do; they are not only surviving they are living with so little. I started as a volunteer at Maryhouse to give back to the community and I must say that each guest has given back to me much more than I have given them. I work at the front desk and I have brief direct contact with the guests when I check if they received mail or when they request to be put on the shower list. I love that contact because I get to ask how they are doing and many of the guests tell me how they are doing and although it is a brief conversation it is a meaningful connection for each of us. I believe the guests know and feel that the staff and volunteers are there to serve them and help them have the best day that they can have and that is a great feeling. It is my hope that each guest knows and understands how special and loved they are. The staff at Maryhouse makes sure that each guest is welcome and respected and that there is always a safe, comfortable vibe for everyone. Maryhouse is really a magical place and I am at a loss for words to describe it adequately. I love my time at Maryhouse and I have met many women that I love and respect that I would not have met if I had not volunteered here. Lucky Me.

What is your hope for Maryhouse guests?

My hope for Maryhouse Guests is that they know and feel that they are important and loved and that they never lose hope that someday they will have what they deserve shelter, food, and access to health care. It is my hope that we as a community give them some reason to continue to hope. Many of our guests have been living in cars and on the street for years this is wrong and unconscionable! My wish for each guest is that in the near future they have time to enjoy life and that they do not need to spend every minute and every hour of everyday just surviving. Each guest deserves the best because they are the best!

How do you reflect on the pandemic?

The pandemic has brought to light the inequalities in our society. My life is very different from the lives of Maryhouse guests and it should not be that way. If I am sick my access to health is easy but access to health care for Maryhouse guests is not easy and often not even available. Sadly to say that some of our guests died in the streets and alone; this is again unconscionable. I am hopeful that we as a community will strive a bit harder to do the right thing and provide the basic necessities such as shelter, food, and access to health care to everyone soon. I am currently not volunteering at Maryhouse but I am looking forward to returning to the front desk and rekindling the friendships I have made with the guests at Maryhouse. I miss each of them very, very much.

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Dear Loaves & Fishes Friends, Supporters & Volunteers,

I write this letter  on my 86^th birthday to bring to your attention what I consider to be a humanitarian crisis and a grave social injustice that plagues our entire Sacramento community – more than  6,000 residents have to live on our streets, in their cars, along the edges of the railroad right-of-ways and along the banks of the Sacramento and American rivers.

I am not talking about “the homeless” in the abstract, I am talking about families, men, women and children whose only human “mistake” is they do not  – did not – earn enough money to afford 2020 rents in Sacramento.

For those who had a job, it paid only minimum wage, for those now laid off because of the Pandemic, they no longer receive unemployment, for those who are qualified to receive Social Security Disability, the monthly stipend is not enough to meet the rent, the list goes on, each person or family compelled to live outside on the street has their own reason – but the bottom line is always the same: they cannot earn enough money to pay market rate rents.

If employers cannot pay a living wage that will include enough money for rent, then it falls to our City and County elected officials to insure that enough low cost affordable housing is built so that low wage workers and their families are properly housed.  Yes, that is the way it is supposed to work, but I assure it does not work that way for minimum wage workers in Sacramento. Our local government elected leaders do not support building very low cost housing that  the poor, the disabled, and  low wage workers  can afford to rent.

In my book: To Serve The People – My Life Organizing With Cesar And The Poor, I wrote:

“Local government – not unlike business profit employers – considers minimum-wage working people to be relatively worthless. Truth be told, such people are considered to be a drag on the local economy, a negative influence on a desirable quality of life for the rest of the community, and insatiable consumers of social services.

Does this sound harsh and unfairly critical of local government? Yes, I’m sure it does. Is it true? Let me assure you, it is. Permit me to qualify; it is true here in the capital city of the state of California.

Understandably, no local elected government official talks publicly about these harsh realities. There is no need to talk; their policies say it all. Some examples: many hundreds of affordable housing units were razed in the downtown area to lay the groundwork for a more desirable major league high-rise future; its own housing agency was forbidden to bring low-cost housing proposals forward for consideration; NIMBYism has been deliberately fostered in order to bury housing advocates and nonprofit developers; zoning codes were used to impede the development of affordable housing; and punitive special-use permits mandated astronomically expensive building requirements for midtown low-income housing. Dare I describe such policies as “cleansing”?”

There are no religious or moral tenets that we profess to believe and live by that permit us to stand by silent and complicit as our elected leaders refuse to build quality and well managed low-cost housing to alleviate the humanitarian crisis in our Sacramento community.

In my view – based on 25-years of experience –  our elected leaders seem to believe that people who have money are deemed to be moral and worthy citizens; those who do not are immoral and unworthy, and worse yet, unwelcome. These views are antithetical to and a corruption  of our cultural Judeo-Christian heritage, which holds that because God created each person in His own image and likeness, each person is not only good in the eyes of his Creator but also a recipient of His unconditional love.

I leave you with this thought: The only difference between me and a homeless person in Sacramento is I live in a house, my homeless counterpart does not. Those of us who live in a house need to insure that each and every person in our community is given that same opportunity.

I hope this letter finds you and your loved ones to be safe and in good health.

LeRoy Chatfield

(Loaves & Fishes tenure: executive director; board member; golden day project; fund raiser; friendship park homeless breakfast program.)

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Part I. 1980-1995

I moved from San Diego to Sacramento in 1982 to attend the Graduate School of Social Work at Sacramento State with a focus on Community Organizing. From 1979 to 1980 I had served as a Peace Corp/VISTA Volunteer for the San Diego Housing Coalition. I can tell you that in 1980 we did not have homelessness as we have it today. Not until Ronald Reagan became president and shifted (with congressional approval) 75% of the federal housing budget into the military budget. My mentors at the Housing Coalition warned that in ten years we could have depression era numbers of homeless families, and they were right.

Over the next two years I worked in downtown San Diego helping people who lived in Single Room Occupancy (SRO) Hotels, an important cheap housing resource that was fast disappearing. I began to see my clients and others become homeless due to rising rents and few low-income housing opportunities. The same was happening in Sacramento and in big cities across the U.S.

Big developers subsidized by Urban Redevelopment replaced the SRO hotels with high end uses. By the time I moved here there were hundreds of homeless people, many displaced by the redevelopment of Old Town and Downtown.

There were obviously other factors contributing to the growth of homelessness: changes in family stability, the loss of well paying union jobs in the industrial midwest, VietNam Veterans dealing with war trauma, to just name a few. However, at its core, modern homelessness is about the affordability and accessibility of housing.

In 1983, after spending the summer in Nicaragua learning Spanish, I became the Director of the Central America Action Committee (CAAC) in Sacramento, organizing to stop the Reagan Administration from creating another Vietnam War in Central America. It was around the time Loaves & Fishes was started, I met Chris and Dan Delany, the founders. From 1983 to 1986 we were leaders in organizing protests and non-violent, civil disobedience actions, mostly aimed at the Federal Building in Sacramento.

Dan and Chris had been involved in countless peace, anti-nuclear and anti-poverty protests before I met them and were contemporaries of Dorothy Day and Daniel Berrigan. We were arrested together along with up to sixty local activists maybe fifteen times in pursuit of peace in Central America. Dan and Chris Delany introduced me to Bob Sieber who was a VietNam veteran and helicopter pilot who had spent time in jail with Daniel Berrigan.

In 1986 Bob Sieber organized homeless people, who were mostly men, to camp out at the Sacramento County Administration Building. This protest for more shelter and services to people suffering from homelessness, started with a few  and grew to over a hundred people over a six month period. Despite growing numbers of homeless people in Sacramento, the City and County ignored the problem saying there were enough shelter beds, but shelters were full with long waiting lists.

Bob’s camp out led to some additional shelter beds and he was given local funding through Transitional Living and Community Services (TLCS) to start the Poverty Resistance Center (PRC) in a building at 20th and D Streets. I joined his board of directors that year and started organizing for more shelter, services and housing for the growing homeless population. At this time, Loaves & Fishes was focused on offering a hearty and warm meal and the PRC was a place to come inside during the day and work with a team that offered support in locating resources and advocacy. 

Part II. 1980-1995

At the end of 1985 I was hired by Case Management Services (CMS), Sac. County Division of Mental Health to work with severely and persistently mentally disabled adults in the Central city and North Sac. So many of our CMS clients were becoming homeless that a Homeless Team was formed in 1986/87 and I became its first outreach worker. I soon discovered there were few services and little housing that our clients could access. Many suffered from both substance abuse and serious mental illness so they were turned away by both mental health services and substance abuse programs.

At the Poverty Resistance Center (PRC) the police started bringing homeless women at night, who had no place else to go, and the night watchman would allow them into the building for shelter. This was the same time that Loaves & Fishes (L&F) founded the MaryHouse program with Sister Laura Ann Walton and Sister Maria Fitzgerald as the first Directors, due to so many women becoming homeless. We decided to open the PRC as a women’s night shelter, though we didn’t have a permit nor any additional funding. We each took a night to volunteer to staff the shelter and we’d shelter up to twenty-five women a night. By 1987 the PRC was closed and Bob Sieber left town and a void was created, but the women’s shelter moved to another un-permitted site in Mid-Town, now called St. Vincent’s Inn.

I was still working full-time at CMS with homeless people with mental conditions and organizing to change the system so that people with co-occuring disorders could access the help they needed. After the PRC a small group of people, including myself, my friend Stephen Switzer, Rev. Dave Moss from Loaves & Fishes, a formerly homeless woman and a couple others had a meeting and formed SHOC, the Sacramento Homeless Organizing Committee with the goal of organizing homeless folks to participate in the political system and have their voices heard. I remember the first fundraising letter we sent and our largest two donations were from Catholic Bishop Francis Quinn and Congressman Bob Matsui.

On my lunch break we would meet at Loaves & Fishes where a couple hundred people would be lined up along 12th Street to get their free meal and we’d hand out fliers inviting folks to come to City Hall on the night of the City Council meeting. We’d provide a free meal on the lawn at City Hall, then go into the council meeting, wait until the public input was allowed and give testimony.

That year a number of things started to come together: Loaves & Fishes opened Friendship Park where Rev. Dave Moss and Rev. Chris Hartmire were co-directors. I met LeRoy Chatfield, who had worked closely with Cesar Chavez and was the first Loaves & Fishes Director who allowed us to outreach and organize meetings with homeless folks at their facilities and to use their kitchen to cook meals for our actions. We began to build a coalition that would soon become the Sacramento Housing Alliance. The City and County opened more shelter beds and through our urging, began to operate a winter shelter. We held weekly SHOC meetings in Friendship Park and began to empower homeless folks to become leaders. I’m very proud that SHOC continues under the direction of formerly homeless folks for now over thirty years.

Personally, I learned that I could help even the most disabled people if I put in the time to get to know them and listen to them, gain their trust and provide very basic services like rides in my car to places they wanted to go (even if I knew they were responding to delusions caused by a mental condition), go with them to Social Security to apply for disability income, take them to Loaves & Fishes, mental health and substance abuse programs, help them reunite with family or find housing once they had benefits and respond to their emergencies. 

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It was early March and the rumblings of the coming pandemic had become impossible to ignore. In the Mustard Seed office, daily temperature checks had become a staple of the morning routine, and the realization that our days as a functioning school were numbered had begun to set in. One preschooler had already been sent home the day prior, and this morning another had vomited on the playground. He was quickly taken to the office to wait for his guardian, and the school day began. 

I had some free time and went to the office to print out some worksheets. I found the sick five year old huddled in a corner with a blanket, a pillow, and a book. As I was leaving to go back to my classroom, he exclaimed, “Mr. Kieran! Can you read this to me?”

“Sure!” I said. 

I took a seat on the floor next to him. Social distancing wasn’t yet commonplace, and I certainly didn’t want to disappoint him. 

“This book is called ‘Hop on Pop.’ Up pup. Pup is up,” I began. 

He inched closer to get a better look at Dr. Seuss’s illustrations. 

“Cup pup. Pup in cup.” He let out a howl. 

“Mouse house. Mouse on house.”

He laid his head on my shoulder. I kept reading. I suddenly had the feeling that I would probably never see this little boy—who had become a fixture at the school— again. At Mustard Seed, not seeing a student again can be good or bad depending on the situation. It may mean that the student has found stable shelter or housing. Or it could mean that their family has dropped off the map entirely. As it turns out, my inclination was correct. I will probably never see that child again. Thankfully, it’s because he and his guardian have found housing. Still, I can’t help but feel bittersweet when I think back to this moment, which is etched in my mind. It was the last time I felt the joy of being a teacher at Mustard Seed School.

In the two short months since I had been hired, my life had already been changed by this extraordinary place and working with children experiencing homelessness had become the great privilege of my life. When I moved to Sacramento from New Jersey two years ago, the phrase “homeless children” had barely entered my consciousness. I suppose I must have known there was such a thing as homeless children, but it had never really struck me how many families were living on the streets of America. I was told about the school at a Loaves & Fishes volunteer orientation, and a month later I was volunteering every Wednesday and becoming thoroughly addicted to the school’s unique culture of “radical hospitality.” Two months later, a position became available, and I was hired. To say I was elated would be an understatement. I had certainly never envisioned my first job in education being anything like Mustard Seed, but I was quickly welcomed into the fold by the incomparable staff who quickly began to feel more like family than co-workers. I had never been around a group of people so positive and so dedicated to doing good, and there were times where I had flashes of dread that this might all be an incredibly vivid dream. I sometimes feel like I have been searching my whole life for a place like Mustard Seed. To be able to help these amazing children and to be able to do it alongside some of the most amazing people I have ever known is a kind of dream in a way.

As my colleague Stacy Johnson has already written, since the shelter-in-place orders were implemented, we have been spending our time in the Loaves & Fishes dining room preparing and serving lunch daily for hundreds of guests and getting to know another extraordinary group of people at Loaves. The work is different, but the mission is the same: spreading love and hospitality to our homeless neighbors in Sacramento. 

I am co-running our annual summer program, which unfortunately has had to undergo a drastic overhaul due to the ongoing crisis. Normally the program includes all sorts of field trips and guest instructors, but this year we will have to limit the number of children to ten, and remain on campus the entire time. Still, with help from the community, we are determined to give these children a fun, exciting, and stimulating summer experience.

Our Student Resource Specialist Troy Bailey affectionately refers to Mustard Seed as a “hidden gem” of this city, and I agree. In fact, I am not sure whether this exact kind of place could exist anywhere but Sacramento, a city which I have quickly fallen in love with, and whose citizens always seem to be there for their neighbors in need.

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Although we are all impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, I can’t help but feel like the guests at Loaves & Fishes are suffering the most. For our guests, their modes of survival depend on many facilities throughout the Sacramento area, but those locations are no longer available. This puts a lot of weight on the staff at Loaves & Fishes. Being a Mercy Volunteer, it took time for me to adjust to our guests and try to understand their pain. 

Although I will never be able to fully empathize with the pain of people experiencing homelessness, the world they live in (which already creates the conditions of daily struggle) has completely altered yet again. Our guests, which I often refer to as family now, don’t have the privilege or option to stay at home and still survive. Everyday some of our guests have to choose between catching a deadly virus or starving. Many of our guests don’t have a tent to stay in and feel safe, where some express never feeling safe at all. 

While Loaves & Fishes staff are doing amazing things with carrying the load of caring for the homeless population of Sacramento, I can’t help but feel like the city could be doing more. Throughout the past week, myself and some staff at Friendship Park, led by the Advocacy Director Joe Smith, have been visiting camps and talking with the homeless population. They all say no one else has been there. My question is why? 

Why has no one else bothered to stop by and care for our people? In the words of Gandhi, “The true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members.” In that regard, we could all be doing more. A lot of our guests can’t understand the severity of this virus. This is due to the extreme, real fact, that many of the guests we see are impacted by mental illness and physical and intellectual disabilities. How can we simply get more guests to understand it? How can we help our guests to get tested? And how can we ensure they all get the basics of survival: water, food, and hygiene care? 

These are issues and people that I feel like no one cares about. Most days I find myself arguing with my mother because she cannot grasp how I would risk my life everyday for free. I often relay to her that I can’t beg the world for change if I cannot do it myself. 

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Richard Dobbs shares captivating stories about his years of hardship and adventure traveling across the country as we walk under the large green archway of Friendship Park. 

He speaks of working odd jobs, hopping freight trains, cooking meals over a campfire, and seeing a rare glimpse of America through the broken braces of a Union Pacific boxcar. 

The day is bright and touched with the warmth of spring as a strong wind dusts up around us. Richard recounts a lifetime of events, most of them in transit and on the move. He speaks of overcoming, thugs, and pool hall hustlers and the medical difficulties that have plagued him since childhood. 

Richard talks of fighting his way through a wake of judgment and prejudice. “I lost my jobs and housing because of my medical condition; landlords said I was a liability, and my employers would fire me. Anyways I’m old now. I could never ride the rails or sleep in hobo jungles today,” Richard says. 

His shiny white medical helmet covered in stickers show years of use and protection guarding Richard against the medical condition he overcomes daily.  

Richard is creative and artistic; he enjoys writing too. He started painting and drawing again because Friendship Park offers an Art Day on Fridays. It’s run by Ginny, a Friendship Park volunteer.  

Richard and I step into a patch of shade outside a bungalow at Friendship Park, and Richard shares more stories with me about other people he’d traveled with like “The Oklahoma Kid,” “Big Jim,” and “Steamboat Joe.” 

I told Richard, “These stories are fascinating. If you write up your stories and make some drawings about the hobo life, I’ll publish them into a book.” 

“Are you serious?” Richard said. 

“Heck yes,” I said. 

We shook hands, and a creative partnership was forged. 

Richard saw me a week later and said, “I finished my book. It’s called Hobo Junction.” He handed me three handwritten composition books wholly filled with hobo stories and drawings. I typed up and edited Richard’s handwritten book of stories and scanned his artwork. I uploaded all of it to an online self-publishing portal and printed 25 copies. Richard sold out of the first printing of books within a week. He is a natural salesman. 

Richard and I meet up regularly now. We are working on his third book, a romance story. We had planned to have an art and book show in May of his work. We had intended to sell books, original drawings, and a new set of postcards. Richard would have read selected stories and poems from his book too. 

Then the virus hit the state of California, and the country shut down and our plans have had to change.

I think about the support system of Friendship Park, the green hats, Program Director George, and all the volunteers helping those who live outside and how important it is to help, especially now. The Park remains open, and everyone continues to assist in the face of danger. 

I hope we can look at our community leaders to be kind and reach out to those who are having a difficult time. I believe through this awful and unprecedented historical time, it can bring out the best in us. I see it at Friendship Park, and it’s an excellent example of help, support, and kindness. It was a vital asset of help and refuge to our community long before the virus locked our doors.  

I checked in with Richard yesterday, and he said, “When everything is safe, and we can go outside and meet up again, the show will go on.” 

I agreed. The show will go on. 

You can read a preview and buy Richard’s books here:

https://www.blurb.com/user/DobbsBooks

You can read the original story I wrote about Richard on my blog: 

Read about Richard and others living outside caught up in the wretched time of the COVID-19 crisis.

The post The Luck of Friendship appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Four weeks ago I greeted my preschool students at my classroom door with their choice of a high-five, a handshake, or a hug. There was a feeling of uncertainty in our program as talk of countywide school closures due to COVID-19 signaled the potential for Mustard Seed to close its doors to a regular academic day. One of my students, an energetic lover of all things glue and scissors, turned 5 that day. We celebrated with a morning birthday circle and cupcakes and juice boxes brought by the birthday girl’s mom at lunchtime. It was the first and last day for my youngest student, who had recently turned 3, and I was worried his mom might be upset when she picked him up and saw his cheeks and hands stained with red dye from his celebratory cupcake.

Fast forward one week, and my classroom, along with the other four Mustard Seed classrooms, were closed. Our office remained open. Our Outreach Coordinator, Lucia, made phone calls to parents and shelters, checking in with our students, offering whatever services were available. But were they still our students? Where were the families we were unable to contact? Were they safe? How do we continue to help as the guidelines for protecting ourselves and each other from getting sick get tighter every day?

My duties as a Montessori preschool teacher at a school for children experiencing homelessness felt obsolete, and my new role became support for other programs at Loaves & Fishes still serving and meeting the survival needs of our guests in a pandemic. Mustard Seed staff began checking in with Maryhouse, Friendship Park, and the Dining Room, hoping to help. For the past few weeks, we have been supporting in any way possible. A few of us have been making hygiene kits, sorting donations, and restocking items handed to guests by gloved hands through the Maryhouse front entrance. Other staff have worked in the service center at Friendship Park and handed out lunch tickets to our guests. All of us have found ourselves prepping and serving lunch in the dining room. We have tried to be more of a help than a nuisance, and we have found ourselves in awe of the unique work and skills required of each program.

It has been in the dining room, the heartbeat of Loaves & Fishes, where my compassion and understanding of the guest has been fortified. I am struck, daily, by the resiliency of the men and women who go to sleep in a tent each night, thrown away by our society, who wake up each morning ready to live, and make their way to Loaves & Fishes for a hot meal. It has been the act of handing hot meals in a styrofoam container through a window to 400 men and women each day that has solidified my faith in the work of the saints around me and the mission of this holy place.

I am still a teacher, holding space in my heart for my students and their families. While my teaching duties are on hold, I remain committed to the philosophy and intention of Loaves & Fishes: to serve the least of these.

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When we learned that our services would be reduced in the wake of the pandemic, it could be presumed that there was a collective sigh of relief, but also an unexpressed guilt. The relief that staff and volunteers would be able to practice appropriate self care and necessary health precautions, but an even greater uncertainty as to how this would affect our guests – this coming at a time of abnormally cool and wet weather for Sacramento in March. 

Warm meals were still offered to our guests, but instead of dining inside, they were handed containers with food. I watched as some headed to the streets outside of the campus or returned to Friendship Park for their meal. I watched as a woman gathered her belongings outside of Maryhouse and glancing down, I acknowledged her feet – covered only in socks and a pair of slippers. I offered her a slight smile and wondered if that was insulting considering the circumstances. 

As we wait for the city to offer temporary shelter for our guests, we wonder if this is enough. If we are offering enough. If we are advocating enough. We ask ourselves “why” and sometimes unrelentingly question our actions and behaviours and wonder if any of this is creating an impact in the positive direction of change. We have to create the necessary boundaries for ourselves to maintain the necessary emotional well-being to return to these same questions every day; but as humans, as empathetic persons, we find it more difficult on some days to separate ourselves from the sense that we are responsible for our guests. 

While I am only one of many staff and volunteers on our campus, I do recognize we are all similar in spirit. So I recognize that I am just one of many that walks on campus lost in my own thoughts. As I exited the Annex one morning recently, I immediately released myself from these thoughts and became a  witness to simple joy. A boy, possibly slightly older than two years of age, was pumping his little legs up and down in a puddle that had developed from the overnight rain. He seemed oblivious to everyone around him and I looked up and made eye contact with his mother. She said, “He is in the wrong shoes for that but…” She trailed off knowing I would fill in the blanks, “But he is having so much fun and I live to see him smile.” I continued walking and he stopped stomping and reached down with his toddler sized gloved hand to tenuously reach down and touch his smiling reflection. 

His mother, with his sibling, were slowly walking towards their vehicle and she called for him. As with most children, he was hesitant to leave his fun, but already knew better, even at his young age, than to create too much conflict with his mom. He toddled towards her and his sibling and I waved goodbye and also verbalized “bye bye.” In his loudest voice, he said “bye” and waved. I turned around and walked down North C Street in the opposing direction. A couple of seconds later I hear “bye,” punctuated by another “bye” a second after. I paused, turned slightly and realized he had stopped in the middle of North C Street, looking in my direction, and was saying goodbye to me still. I stopped, turned around, repeated my wave and “bye.” He seemed now satisfied with my response and followed his mother and sibling to their van. 

On this day, at least, I felt satisfied with the “why.”

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We recently had an update from Ron, a former guest who struggled on and off with homelessness for fourteen years. During his experience with homelessness he relied on Loaves & Fishes to help him meet his most immediate survival needs. He had counseling appointments at Genesis, read in the Library, and had hearty lunches at the Dining Room, which helped him focus his attention on finding employment.

In 2017, Ron was introduced to the Rapid Rehousing Program. He and a friend got a 2-bedroom house rent-free for six months, after which they would cover the rent. With housing secured, Ron was able to gain and maintain employment.

In sharing his story, Ron wants people to understand that homelessness is a complex problem. There are many different kinds of people that find themselves homeless. While some have addictions or mental health problems, some “just had a bad break or two.”

We are thankful to Ron for updating us on his life, and giving us his perspective on the issues surrounding homelessness. We know that no one understands the situation better than those who have lived it.

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Physical disability is a big part of why Daryl, a guest at Loaves & Fishes, became homeless. He is nearly sixty years old, and his health is far from what it used to be.

As a young man Daryl felt like he could conquer the world. He was a baseball player, and everything came easily to him. Daryl says with plain nostalgia, “it’s a big difference in the quality of living, quality of life.” After his time playing baseball he moved to Los Angeles and became a truck driver.

Daryl moved to Sacramento several months ago, but his health took a rapid downturn within his first month in town. He lost his leg to complications with diabetes, and has had to learn how to function with a prosthetic leg. He can no longer drive, and mentioned that the income that he has is “not very much.” Within days of arriving in Sacramento he also had to undergo a triple bypass surgery. His multiple health complications over the past months have made it impossible to find housing. While he is hopeful, recovering and recuperating is his main focus.

He is currently staying with a friend, but does not like being dependent on others. “I like doing things on my own. I don’t look for anybody to take care of me, even though with my illness–I get on the train, I do everything,” he says. As he looks toward the future, he hopes to quickly find a place to live. In the more distant future Daryl has a vision of owning a boat and floating down the river, hopping on and off as he pleases.

Although Daryl faces a lot of challenges, he is grateful for Loaves & Fishes and its programs. He gives special praise to the Washroom, where he enjoys hot showers and laundry, and the Dining Room for its hearty meals. “I think this place is great if you ask me. It really is.”

Until he achieves his goal of riding his boat down the river, we will be ready to welcome him with nutritious breakfasts and lunches, showers and laundry, and essential survival services to help him get through the day – and on to the day when he is no longer homeless.

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Yet, I remained curious about the Dining Room Program and decided to discuss this program with Chris Delany, co-founder of Loaves & Fishes. I wanted to know what her initial vision was for the Program and what she has learned along the way.  Here is what she had to say:

What has been your overall hope for the Dining Room Program?

My hope was that it would keep going as long as it was needed, that we would have enough volunteers, and that we would have staff who understood and appreciated our mission, plus who would treat our guests like they would Jesus Christ.

Do you think the program has achieved this goal?

Yes, for all these years it has gone beautifully. I think of it as an “on-going miracle”.

How have you seen the program change over the years?

The program has not changed very much over the years, except for the location and the physical size.

Did you ever expect the Dining Room Program to expand as much as it has? Where do you see the program in the future?

No. When we started the Dining Room, I thought it would die down after a few years, yet the numbers kept growing. It seems there is always going to be a need. The numbers continue to grow. There will always be a need.

What has been the most rewarding part?

People are amazed that we started Loaves & Fishes. When I talk with groups, I like to tell them that Dan and I planted a tree with Loaves & Fishes. And that tree has grown so much that it now bears fruit and the people take the food and sleep under that tree. I am just amazed. And I call it a miracle.

If you could change one thing about the Dining Room Program, would you?

I don’t think I would change anything. It’s doing God’s work.

What is your favorite meal served in the Dining Room?

Taco Casserole!

What do you wish the greater Sacramento community understood about our homeless community?

Everything. Have heart for people who live in poverty, who don’t have any breaks. There really could be no poverty if everyone had a job, had housing, had money. But, that doesn’t seem to be coming. I’m 85 years old, but it hasn’t changed very much in people helping others.

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Doug Winter, a professional photographer, comes to Loaves & Fishes once a month to take beautiful portraits of our guests. When he has time, he likes to interview the subjects of his photographs to capture the story behind their eyes.

Anthony and Michelle started their relationship four years ago on the streets of Sacramento. Together, they have helped each other overcome a drug addiction and agonizing ongoing circumstances.

At the age of four, Michelle was severely burned in a house fire started by her cousin who was playing with matches. She was burned over 80% of her body and was in a coma for a week due to the smoke inhalation she sustained in the house fire. A doctor told her parents she would never walk again.

“I heard the doctors say to my mother, ‘Your daughter will never be able to walk again.’” Michelle contemplatively reflects and continues, “That’s when God said to me: “Get up!’ So, I got up, grabbed my IV and walked over to my father.”

Slowly, over the years, Michelle, a college educated mother of two, was forced into a wheelchair due to the lifelong injuries she sustained from the house fire and other serious medical problems she battles daily.

Anthony and Michelle had been living together in a tent but their tent was recently burned down. Michelle points to racism, “…because after the tent was burned, one of my hooded sweatshirts had rope with a noose around the neck of it and it was set on top of the burned debris.”

“There are a lot of racist people out there but we all bleed the same color,” Michelle says softly.

“Everything was gone,” Anthony explains. He told Michelle on the day their tent burned down, “We can’t worry about it because, it’s just material things, and we [just need to] pick it up and keep going.”

A survivor of many thefts, Anthony explains that people continually steal Michelle’s wheelchair. It’s been stolen seven times. Anthony explained that thieves have taken her wheelchair to the recycle center and try to recycle it for cash.

A few months ago, Anthony proposed to Michelle in “the garden,” a place that is special to both of them.  They plan on getting married but disagree on the timing of their wedding. Anthony wants to get a job, find a place to live and provide nice things for Michelle.  He envisions them leaving the streets when they are married.

Anthony’s social security card has been stolen many times and was stolen again recently. He is in the process of getting another card so he can start work at a restaurant and reach his goals before they marry.

Michelle pulls the Safe Grounds schedule from her purse, and unfolds the paper to see where they need to find shelter later in the evening. Safe Grounds is an outdoor site where homeless can camp legally. Anthony and Michelle bounce between Safe Grounds and Winter Sanctuary, a seasonal emergency shelter program sponsored by the County of Sacramento through the Department of Human Assistance.

Based on all her ongoing medical conditions, a doctor recently told Michelle she had seven months to live. Michelle reflects on this and conveys thoughtfully, “Only God can tell me when I’m going to die.”

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Natalia Haas is homeless and recovering from brain surgery. Natalia’s entire stay in the hospital was 4-5 days for brain surgery and recovery. With pain meds in hand, hundreds of stitches still fresh above her right eye, marking the spot where her brain tumor was removed, Natalia and her husband left the hospital and set out to find shelter. They located a “safe place” under a bridge which provides both a barrier from the elements and protection from others who might be tempted to steal her valuable painkiller medication.

Hospitals do not extend recovery for homeless patients like Natalia or transfer them to other respite or care facilities. More often than not, homeless patients are discharged to the street to recover from surgery, cancer treatment, and other serious health conditions.

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Elden is homeless and battling lung cancer.

He was diagnosed with lung cancer at Sutter hospital, three months before this portrait was made. His fragile health blocked hospital staff from discharging him back onto the street. An unnamed organization, not affiliated with the hospital, stepped in to “help” Elden. Wearing large crucifixes and carrying Bibles, they approached Eldin while he lay medicated, groggy and recovering from treatments in his hospital bed. They proposed to help him with his medical care and housing. All Elden needed to do was sign their paperwork and instead of eventually going back to the street, he could leave the hospital and go straight into a warm room and a soft bed. They promised to provide him with meals and offered transportation to and from his doctor appointments and cancer treatments. Elden was relieved and extremely happy to have access this type of help. Using a clipboard to steady the paperwork, they passed Elden the clipboard and a pen. He signed every piece of paper they handed over to him.

Unfortunately, everything promised to Elden was a lie; manipulated trust powered by greed, a fiction of the most evil kind. Six weeks later Elden was homeless again. All his belongings had been stolen by the “people” who said they would help him. His wallet containing his ID was stolen too. They were able to gain access to his SSI payments and bank account through the paperwork Elden had signed. They began to drain his money and steal everything he had acquired over the year: 2 bikes, a cart, access to a storage unit and other necessities — Elden had essentially been robbed.

The Legal Clinic at Loaves & Fishes helped Elden get some of his money back, though he still experiences homelessness.

As I talk to Elden, he points east across the room to a small bindle nestled between the bookshelves in the library, “There’s my house, that rolling suitcase, that’s my world, or whats left of it.”

“What do you have in there that’s most precious to you?” I ask.

“My sleeping bag and the mat I lay on and of course my paperwork, a couple books and pictures — I lost everything. I mean it was total chaos because I have this cancer thing going on which is making me feel so sick and disoriented.

A few weeks ago I saw Elden and I waved to him. He put his hand up as he rounded the corner, entering the rain-soaked parking lot. Small gloomy pools of water dotted the pavement. Their watery darkness reflects back the unbreakable youth within this man. His newly acquired bike, cart, and rolling suitcase all move slow and steady to win a race that has yet to be won.

Please donate to Loaves & Fishes and help guests like Elden.

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Mark Ryan arrived in Sacramento in the 1980’s and worked as an accounts receivable bank auditor for 14 years. He is 56 years old, college educated with a degree in business, and loves studying languages. He has been homeless on and off since 1999. 

Mark has an uncanny ability to recall an incredible amount of factual information.  Of his interest in languages, Mark says, “I like Spanish and German but we are lucky we speak English because English has twice as many words, and out of 67 possible sounds, English has 44, so we are hard wired for those 44 sounds.”

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Homeless for almost 3 years, Sam hasn’t had an hourly paying job since 2009.

As we talk, Sam scans the room, puts his video poker game into his vest pocket, and explains, “I’ve worked all the temp agencies here in Sacramento and I worked for 12 years and I never got fired once. Every job [I worked] in Sacramento ended because it was temporary or seasonal or [the company] went bankrupt.”

Sam uses Loaves & Fishes and Friendship Park as a safe place to get coffee, food, hang out and sleep during the day. He works or stays up at nights and as Sam puts it, “I sleep in the day [and I’m awake at night]. You couldn’t sleep at night because there is always someone bugging you. On the weekends I go to Cesar Chavez park–it’s a pretty safe place.”

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Carts pushed by staffers contain the day’s food, survival and hygiene provisions. On any given day, that down jacket in the cargo may save someone from frostbite.

Guests – many carting belongings and camping gear — hunger for breakfast, with some walking miles to use restrooms largely unavailable throughout the city and county.

Mothers accompany children, many skipping to class at Mustard Seed. A man and woman — in love and homeless — make their way to Friendship Park, hand in hand.

Other guests, shoulders slumped, bear the burden of sleeping on concrete or the hard, cold ground, exposed to the elements day in and day out. Whether it’s the searing heat of a Sacramento summer or the damp chill of winter, there is no good season to be homeless.

But, Loaves & Fishes delivers compassion. Relationships are built slowly but surely amid gestures small but large, warming the hearts of many battling to survive in a society that worships credit scores and wealth.

Some of the more fortunate guests at Loaves & Fishes have the skills that many take for granted to secure housing and employment and the ability to adapt to a daily drumbeat of bills and schedules. Though considered the lucky ones, even for them, being homeless could last months, a year or years.

Acquiring housing is akin to winning the lottery for many who experience homelessness. Waiting lists for shelters are long and punitive anti-camping tickets are dispensed with a heavy hand in this community.

Mental illness is a slippery slope among the homeless, who feel vulnerable, isolated, deprived and routinely are witness to unspeakable violence and neglect. Expressions are haggard and eyes are often filled with mistrust.

For others, escaping homelessness is thwarted by long if not impossible odds. Because of disability or addiction, they lack the ability to adapt to the contours of the working world. Some suffer paranoid delusions. They may have no one to protect them or care for them. Thankfully, Loaves & Fishes staffers often must guide them through our services so that their most basic needs can be met.

The chronically homeless are often criminalized in a society that also frowns on the poor, disabled, mentally ill and minorities. Their lives are chalk full of daily indignities, horror stories and abuse – they have fallen through the cracks of this nation’s tattered social safety net.

This is a hard life of scant comfort– unimaginable to most looking in from the outside.

This is why, after a hard night, greeting the sea of guests with coffee and friendship is ingrained into the mission of Loaves & Fishes. It’s a transformative and dignifying gesture, befitting the promise of a new day and a world that someday will offer them a home

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This is a Thanksgiving story about two communities: Sacramento’s homeless community, what I call “Second City;” and, Loaves & Fishes, a sanctuary for homeless men, women, and children seeking survival services. Second City is where poverty, loneliness, fear and despair are found. Loaves & Fishes is where Sacramento’s homeless are welcomed and treated as wanted guests.

November 21, 2017. I am at Loaves & Fishes to shoot the Sacramento Blues Society Thanksgiving concert in Friendship Park. Vocalist Val Starr opens with “We’re here to take the blues away.” Today, more than 700 homeless Loaves & Fishes’ guests will be fed and entertained.

No doubt about it. Today is special. It is what Val Starr says it is, “you listen to the blues to get rid of the blues.” The images below evidence the magic of the blues cutting through “the worst disease that any human being can ever experience.” For me this is a fun time and a time to be thankful. I get to listen to great music and capture images of Loaves & Fishes staff, volunteers, musicians, and homeless guests enjoying themselves.

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Six months ago, I photographed Andrea and many other men for Father’s Day at Loaves & Fishes but he never saw his portrait. Little did I know during that Father’s Day photo session that Andrea and I would meet up again. His big laugh and smile and humor are infectious. “Hey, do you have the photo of me from Father’s Day?” Andrea asked as he sat down on the worn wooden library chair under the broad light of our makeshift studio. “Yes, I have the photo.” I pulled out my phone and found the photo, “Here, take a look.”

Although Andrea’s photo was on the Loaves & Fishes website, many homeless don’t have access to on-line resources. He hadn’t seen it posted.

“I look the same, that’s the Father’s Day photo, right? I didn’t have a haircut or a shave. That’s why I left my hat on, too, probably. Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up, and I’m trying to get home to Colorado. I’d love to give this photo to my kids.”

“I will get your photos for your kids.” I said as Andrea handed the phone back to me.

Andrea looked up and began reminiscing about his Denver childhood: “I graduated from East High school–I grew up in Park Hill. The big concrete gates to City Park–that was our backyard. Did I have a beautiful neighborhood and life? The golf course, the museum, the planetarium, the zoo, that was our backyard and I still have memories and dreams of that house. Those were beautiful times.”

Andrea and I talked about home, about Colorado. I’m from Colorado, too, and we shared a lot of the same feelings about our hometown. We talked about our small memories of Elitch Gardens, an amusement Park in Denver, and the giant wooden roller coaster that had been sheer terror and exhilaration to us as kids. Riding it was a rite of passage for young men.

“Downtown Denver is one of the most beautiful downtowns in the whole country and they moved Mr. Twister from Elitch Gardens [Mr. Twister is one of the biggest wooden roller coasters in the country] to downtown. It’s gonna be like Coney Island and Atlantic City and to me it’s on that level now. and Mr. Twister ‘aint no joke,” Andre said.

We found some common ground from our childhoods and of the experience growing up in the paradise of Denver, Colorado. It’s times like these when I find someone from this time and place from Denver that I miss my home. It makes me wonder what really makes a home. It makes me think of family and friends and the collective memories of everyone that has come and gone before me. From my time at Loaves & Fishes, I know this: family is where you find it and home can be carried in your heart.

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The care packages contained essentials for guests like hand sanitizer, chap-stick, socks, deodorant and Kleenex.

Victoria collected the 990 items for the care packages through donation drives that she speerheaded at the Pocket Library, Key Club and the California Scholarship Federation.

She then recruited 50 volunteers to assemble the care packages at the Pocket Library.

“I wanted to bring the whole community in,” Victoria said. “Mostly teenagers came, but some seniors brought their grandchildren. A woman told me that she was glad that she came to volunteer because she was able to work with people of all ages.”

Victoria’s care packages were inspired by a project that she endeavored through the Summer at City Hall Program which engages rising high school juniors and seniors in community service. The project was a donation drive which collected school supplies for homeless shelters and day programs.

“I wanted to do my own take on the project because in the Sacramento area, homelessness is such a big issue,” Victoria said. “The number of people experiencing homelessness rose by 30% since last year. I hope that one little package can bring someone in their deepest, darkest moment joy this Thanksgiving.”

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Gale Filter, a volunteer at Loaves & Fishes is an air force veteran and a retired environmental prosecutor and educator. He believes that photography provides a powerful means to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves and that in the eyes of many who experience homelessness, one finds the “homes of silent prayers” to quote Alfred Tennyson.  

November 10, 2017. I am at Loaves & Fishes to photograph and honor those veterans who served our country. I can’t help but think of those veterans who served honorably and have had a significant impact on my life.

To Glen, my high school football teammate. He served in Vietnam, and died of a drug overdose several years after he was discharged.

To my good friend Dan who I served with in Italy (1968-1970). Prior to his assignment in Italy Dan had served a tour in Vietnam and was in a communications trailer that was hit by a rocket. Dan was the only one who survived. He married Caroline, had two daughters and committed suicide in the early 1980s.

To Tommy (Army) and Malcolm (Marine) who were my Criminology and Political Science students at Joliet State Prison in the late 1970s. Both men were serving life sentences: Malcolm for killing a police officer during the anti-war demonstrations at the Chicago Democratic convention in 1968; and, Tommy for murdering another pimp.

To Robert, a highly decorated Vietnam war veteran, who I prosecuted for killing his girlfriend. Robert is currently serving his time in a California prison.

To all of those homeless veterans who I regularly encounter as a Mercy Pedaler on Sacramento streets. You deserve better. There should be no homeless veterans.

To my good friends and photographer buddies Tom (Army) and Robert (Navy), who still stand tall and remain true coffee warriors.

To three generations of Filters (my dad, daughter and myself) who served in the Air Force. I did not learn that my father was awarded the Silver Star in WW II until after he died.

Thank you. I am because you were.

Gale Filter, USAF (1966-1970)

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Therefore, when we gathered with our fellow Sacramentans yesterday to participate in Hands Across I Street, the symbolic call to action transformed into a celebration of a new partnership. As hundreds of residents and elected officials lined the three blocks that connect the County Board of Supervisors building and City Hall, you could easily hear the chant: “One City, One County, One Plan!”

Gale, one of our volunteer photographers captured several images from the event, check them out below:

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November 3, 2017.  I’m at Friendship Park to celebrate Dia de los Muertos.

On Dia de los Muertos, Loaves & Fishes honors the homeless guests who have departed over the past year.  The community recognizes death as a natural part of the human experience.  The departed are a part of the community, present to share the celebration with their loved ones and friends.  At Loaves and Fishes Dia de los Muertos is a day not only of celebration, but also one of reflection, joy and spirituality.

My mind keeps wandering to “Truth” who died in 2017.  I shot these images of Truth at the old Friendship Park in 2016.  Truth loved his music and the day I shot these photos he was strumming his guitar, singing the blues on a warm peaceful day in the park.  As far as I’m concerned Truth was too young to be dead.

So this is a photo tribute to Truth and the homeless who departed in 2017.  Here are some other truths to think about:

In 2016, 79 homeless people died in Sacramento County.  This is a significant increase over the  32 homeless people who died in 2002.  For homeless men, the average age of death is 49.9 years; for women, it is 47.4 years.   That’s decades younger than the 78.8-year life span for Americans.

Below are my photos from Dia de los Muertos.  I believe the presence of the departed can be felt in some of these images.

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Tim and Patty, a heartfelt couple who often finish each other’s sentences, spoke with me at the Loaves & Fishes library about their experiences living in Stockton, California as a homeless couple and how they came to relocate to Sacramento.

Patty began to tell me the story of how they lost many of their belongings. Caltrans, along with Stockton Police Department, did a massive clean-up in Stockton a few months back.  During the clean-up, Caltrans threw away tents, medications, and other valuable items. As Patty explained to me, certain items might not seem valuable to a person with a home, but to someone who is homeless, those items do have value and can be hard to get. Patty explained to me that this wasn’t the first “clean-up” done by Caltrans and Stockton PD and won’t be their last. As Patty speaks of their experience, Tim speaks up, “One time I was going through the alley with all my stuff on my cart in the Slough where we stayed and Caltrans wouldn’t let me out of the Slough and they said the only way I could get out of the Slough was to leave all my stuff behind.  All my belongings: 2 bikes, my cart, the dog food for our dog (a 160 pound Rottweiler) and they wouldn’t let us walk out of there.  Everyone’s stuff was just piled high.”

After this Caltrans event, Tim and Patty left Stockton and the Slough and moved up to Sacramento to live near the River, and to help out one of their children while waiting for their SSI and GA to start. Tim and Patty have extremely unique and creative ideas about how to help homeless people and their community. Patty has talked to city council, the Sacramento mayor and has spoken in other venues to try and get their message heard.

Patty looks up from the brown Formica library table where we are talking and looks me in the eye, “Most of the people out there are like us. Waiting for our SSI and certain things to happen. One minute you are way up here (she raises her slender hand above her head and makes it dance), the next minute you are living paycheck to paycheck and the next minute you are living in a tent”. Tim breaks in, “We both come from good places. I use to own houses, buy houses and flip houses and she was a secretary since she graduated high school, a legal secretary, and now we are homeless living in a tent.”

Patty chimes in, “[This is currently] by choice because we won’t live with relatives, where we have certain rules, not at our age, and that’s our own thing but when people think of homeless they think of mental health patients and mental health [care] failed a long time ago. It’s just us out there.”

Tim kicks down, his work-worn hand tapping the table, “We help out the community more than anything because if it wasn’t for us, a lot of the cans and a lot of the bottles and a lot of the other materials that people who do have homes throw out as waste.”  He’s speaking about garbage that gets tossed out on a daily basis from residential homes.  “They [people who do have homes] worry about a lot of us going through their garbage but we are going through their garbage because we know what’s in there that could be recycled and it’s not just always cans. There’s lighters, toilet paper, there are so many different things that we can recycle as a homeless person.”

Tim goes on to talk about the importance of trust, “We want more of the community to have more trust with the homeless. If they come up and ask for a job, or if they ask you ‘can I get a peach off your tree?’ or ‘can I do some yard work for you?’ at least they are not trying to take it from you. They are trying to earn it.”

Patty’s and Tim’s ideas are innovative.  “We want to start a temporary employment service that hire homeless to small business and in-home care.”  Patty is speaking of tent-care when she speaks of in-home care. She presented her ideas to a local small business association.  “The small business association loved the idea and there is so much potential [for homeless workers] to make money and to make a difference in the homeless community. There are many people who need in-home care right here in their tent and they still get SSI and why not get a [qualified and able] homeless person? This way you could pair up disabled people with health care workers, because we we’re doing it already out there, and we had a circle that we kept, very tight knit, with people who are compatible. Hey, you are homeless, and you are homeless and now we are both out here homeless [so let’s help out our homeless community].”

Patty goes on to say, “Some of them die because they need in-home care and people out here who are already homeless are out here doing it and they are not getting paid for it.”  The reality is that if they were in a home, they would be paid.  “Small businesses were asking what would work.”

Patty’s hopeful in her ideas, “Teaching people how to work in employment with skills they already know how to do, getting a contractor to let another person work under them that did it themselves before so they can get back to work. When you go back to work again, there’s nothing like making your own money when someone hands it to you, a paycheck, it gives you self-worth.  [It adds] a value to your life and you feel good and that will put you back up on top. Just that feeling alone will give you the confidence to be able to do anything.”

“I told Tim when we met one small success at a time and you’ll be able to achieve anything,” concludes Patty.

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Casey Knittel has been with Mustard Seed since 2009. She started out as one of our Student Resource Specialists, before becoming a Montessori certified teacher, and eventually transitioning into the Assistant Director role before leaving for a two-year stint in Development at Loaves & Fishes. Today, Casey is our Mustard Seed Program Director. 

“Mustard Seed is a place where you see pure love in action, and there’s no place I would rather be!”

Since this is a place for stories, and for little glimpses into the world of North C Street, I wanted to let you in on some of the gentle loving craziness of the days we spend serving kids experiencing homelessness at Mustard Seed School:

After working at Loaves & Fishes for over eight years, I still feel that every day challenges me to reach a deeper level of presence. I want to meet each moment, meet each child, meet each parent, and give them the full attention they deserve. Some hours that’s easier than others.

With such a small school staff, two days a week at noon our office manager, Liana needs to help supervise the students for lunch and recess. Since I am the only other staff member who works in our front office, I gear up ahead of time to be present for that hour.

As Liana leaves her desk, I settle into the rhythm of whatever the moment brings.

On a recent Thursday, it didn’t take long for things to get started.

Just before noon, our preschool teacher Stacy banged through the back door with three year old twins who were being dismissed early that day. Their parents hadn’t arrived yet, but one of the twins was having a hard time eating lunch in her classroom and had been yelling and throwing food. She was amped up, so her teacher was bringing her to the office to finish waiting. Stacy sat down and skillfully soothed her while I got a coloring book for her brother. She calmed a little and was interested in coloring too.

Stacy went back to her classroom just as one of our Loaves & Fishes dining room volunteers came through the front door. He had dictionaries to donate for our older kids. He handed me a plastic bag of books. I thanked him and turned my attention back to our small student, who was now breaking her crayons in half and throwing them.

The phone rang, it was one of our preschool moms letting us know that she would also be picking up her daughter early. There was a free harvest festival for kids going on a few blocks over at Women’s Empowerment. Our preschool assistant teacher, Tracy brought her daughter up to the front office to wait. She sat quietly on a bench.

My child total was up to three in our small waiting area.

Then Chakira, our K-2 teacher, rushed through the back door with a first grader who had fallen and needed first aid. He was crying. Chakira went to bring him his lunch while I took care of him.

Our front door opened and our afternoon volunteer, Terri came in to lend a hand. She sat with our first grader and started chatting with him, helped him calm down.

Our 6th-8th grade teacher JD came in the backdoor to make copies and prepare for an afternoon field trip.

At this point, our tiny crayon-throwing student was looking for attention again. She checked to make sure I was looking and started shaking a lamp as if she might push it to the ground. I took her hand and had her stay close to me. Her twin brother had found stickers in his coloring book and was putting them on his face. I reminded him that stickers are for paper just as two more parents came through the front door.

One mom signed out her daughter, who was waiting quietly on the bench, while the another mom needed her son to be woken up from naptime to go to the harvest festival. She didn’t know she needed to tell us in advance if she didn’t want him to rest. JD went to our preschool classroom and brought the sleepy four year old up to meet his mom.

As those families left, another mom came in. She and her children had spent last night sleeping on Ahern Street, and she was scared and shaken by the experience. They had heard a bad fight just outside their tent and had to pray that they stayed safe behind the tent walls.  She had just met with an outreach worker from the County and she needed me to sign and fax a form verifying their homelessness, with the hope she might get some help. Seeing how many kids were still in the office, the mom left the form with me to do as soon as possible.

I tried, but failed to get that form faxed over while I still had my little preschool friend in tow. That would need to wait. I could hear emails arriving at my desk. Those would need to wait too.

Two of our middle school students were brought into the office. They had gotten heated at lunch and had been arguing and name calling. One of them was the daughter of the mom who just left, who had been in the tent on Ahern last night. The other was a returning Mustard Seed student who had been sleeping in a car with his mother and three siblings on North A Street, close to the school.

I separated them and had them sit to calm down before we tried to resolve anything. At this point it was about 12:20 pm. Still another 40 minutes before lunch and recess were over.

Later, one of those middle-schoolers fell asleep sitting up in her chair. I would need to wake her up before we processed the argument with a self-reflection strategy that is part of our school’s social-emotional curriculum.

Eventually, all of the students were picked up by their parents or went back to class. Eventually, all the forms were faxed, and (hopefully) all the emails answered.

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Call (916)-447-3626 to learn more about Mustard Seed and to find out how you can show your support!

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Annabelle started her journey with Mustard Seed last year as a Jesuit Volunteer where she embraced the Jesuit values of: spirituality, a simple lifestyle, community living, and social justice.

The Jesuit Volunteer Corps (JVC) is the largest lay Catholic full-time volunteer program in the world. They aim to aspire the creation of a more just and hopeful world. Therefore, this service program “engages passionate young people in vital service with poor communities, fostering the growth of leaders committed to faith in action”(JVC).

Annabelle has remained with Mustard Seed as a student resource specialist. Therefore, she tests all the students that come to Mustard Seed to see where they are at academically. From there, Annabelle works with the teachers in developing an appropriate academic curriculum for the students to follow throughout their time at Mustard Seed, so that they are as prepared as possible for when they enroll into public school (i.e. tutoring).

She also attends Sacramento County’s homeless task force meetings with homeless liaisons to discuss ways to give children who are experiencing homelessness the necessary resources and tools to receive a successful education.

Below you will find Annabelle’s reflection on a family that taught her how to love with no boundaries. 

Driving the children to and from their motels was one of the biggest highlights for me as a JV last year. I had the opportunity to drive a family of 5 for three months – a family that lifted me up and added onto the miracles, love, and compassion of Mustard Seed that I had felt the very first day I started working there. This family of 5 was always so incredibly excited to go to school and had such a strong family bond that was so visible from a mile away. I vividly remember during our car rides driving through a neighborhood to and from their motel and the children would point out houses that they would hope to one day live in – “That brown house! That could fit all of us!” They were always so optimistic despite the situation they were in because they had each other.

The last day of school was one of the hardest days for me at Mustard Seed. I prepared myself all week for that day, as I knew I was going to have to say my last goodbye to many of the children. In addition to saying goodbye to those children, I also had to brace myself for the goodbye that was going to come for this family of 5. I drove into the parking lot of the SkyRider motel, parked the car, and all 5 children unbuckled, got out of their seats, said their goodbyes and gave me their hugs, and walked into their motel room. And as children, I don’t think it crossed their mind that it may be the last time they saw me. I said bye to mom and drove away and the moment I left, tears fell down my face as reality hit me that that was the last time I was going to see them.

A week went by and the Mustard Seed summer program started. My co-JV, Emily, and I were in charge of planning a field trip based summer program for the kids and Emily and I were determined to give them the best summer they ever had. As opposed to during the school year where sign-ins are in the front office, sign-ins were now on the playground. We took out playground equipment, had all our forms, and were ready for the summer program to start. Many of the kids during the academic school year saw the flyers that were posted in the office, so they knew about the program. One of the 5 children asked their mom during one car ride if they could attend, but mom did not know how they would get there because transportation was not offered during the summer. I didn’t expect for them to come, but the miracles of Mustard Seed truly played out.

For a brief moment, I went to the PE closet to get a ball out for a child and that was when I heard Emily yell one of the names of the children & this family came running onto the playground. The family I was so sad about saying goodbye to, the family I thought I would never see once more, was there. My heart was so incredibly full.

The last day of summer program was another hard day, but once again, they came through that gate and came running onto the playground. Saying goodbye to this family for a second time was honestly more difficult than the first, but I’m forever grateful for the time I was given with them. This family, those children, changed my life completely. I have been blessed to be a part of their lives and them in mine. And despite how many times I say it, the children at Mustard Seed teach me more than I do to them – so to each child that I have had the privilege of spending time with, thank you for making me smile on my hardest days, for every hug that lifted my spirits up, and most importantly, for teaching me to love with no boundaries. I’m advocating for each one of you always.

Check out Mustard Seed’s Amazon Wish List .

Keep up with Mustard Seed on Facebook!

Call (916)-447-3626 to learn more about Mustard Seed and to find out how you can show your support!

The post Teaching Me To Love With No Boundaries appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

His artwork and journalism will begin appearing on our blog once a week. Doug operates his own photography studio — you can check out his work here. 

I made Leota’s portrait in June 2017 at the Loaves & Fishes library. The key around her neck caught the light; the silver metal winked and touched my eye. Loeta’s key reminded me of the latchkey my Mom gave me that I, too, wore around my neck to get into our house after school when I was a little kid.

I asked her, “What does the key mean to you?”

Stamped into the worn metal key Leota wore was the word “Chosen.” “God has “Chosen” me and He has me here for a purpose. He has something planned for you, too, but we don’t know what that is. But He knows our every step”.

Leota looked down at the ground, scanning, searching for the words. She lifted her head back up, meeting my gaze, her brown eyes twinkling in the soft sunlight. “We don’t know when things will happen because it’s on His time. God’s will, not ours, be done. To walk and have faith in Him and know He’s got something planned? That’s what “Chosen” means to me.”

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JVC is the largest lay Catholic full-time volunteer program in the world. They aim to aspire the creation of a more just and hopeful world. Therefore, this service program “engages passionate young people in vital service with poor communities, fostering the growth of leaders committed to faith in action”(JVC).   Continue reading to learn how trains connect with Mustard Seed’s students. 

When I was three, my uncle bought me a train set for Christmas that he set up under our tree. I have vague memories of this, mostly fed by my uncle’s continued interest in all things train-related—photographing trains, touring retired trains, riding a train just for the sake of riding a train… But other than this snippet of memory from my childhood, I have not often focused on trains other than a vehicle by which to get from point A to point B. This changed when I started working at Mustard Seed in August. On August 23rd, the first day of school, trains became a very important part of my life. Here are some things I have learned about trains since then:

Mustard Seed students attended a field trip to the California State Railroad Museum.

1.     “Can I play with the trains?” is something that you will hear (conservatively) four-five times a day if there are trains in your office. The asking will be relentless; crying may ensue.

2.     Trains are gender all-inclusive toys. Don’t let the marketing industry tell you otherwise. Everyone loves trains. Every child will beeline for a train set immediately upon entering a room with a train set. Every. Single. Child. Without fail. Every time.

3.     Your primary function in the lives of many if not most of the children will, at least initially, be The Teacher With The Trains. You will become the gatekeeper to the trains. This is the sole purpose you will serve. The trains may make you powerful. Use this power wisely.

4.     It is 2017 and technology is Ruler Supreme, but all screens are forgotten when presented with train tracks and a plethora of toy trains from which to choose. Long, uninterrupted conversations with parents may be had when there are trains to serve as a distraction.

5.     Some people discover their passions at a young age. Some people are passionate about trains. If you are helping a train-enthusiast seven-year-old with his morning journal entry, and the prompt is, “What is your favorite type of weather?” the answer will be trains. If the prompt is, “What makes you happy?” the answer will be trains. If the prompt is, “What is your favorite thing to eat?” the answer will probably be chicken, but he will draw a picture of trains.

6.     Sometimes, this same seven year old may ask you to help him draw a train. I would suggest practicing your train-drawing skills beforehand, because train-enthusiasts (even young ones, apparently) are not afraid to critique an inaccurate rendering of a train when they see one. You have to draw trains with more wheels than cars. I learned this the hard way.

7.     If you do not have access to a train set, worms are a close second. After time spent gardening in Mustard Seed’s two gardening plots with our K-2nd graders, I’ve observed that trains and worms seem to generally attract the same fan-base. And it is an avid fan-base indeed.

8.     A caveat about trains and worms: A toy train is okay to send home with a child. Moms like toy trains. Moms do not like worms. Do not let said child show their mom the worms they collected that day, no matter how excited they are about their worms. The mom will not be pleased. The mom may even be disgusted. Send home a toy train instead.

9.     If it is the first field trip of the school year—the first field trip ever for many of our students—go to the train museum. You will witness pure expressions of joy that, in grown-up equivalencies, are probably only matched at weddings or births (if even then). Everyone will be excited about the train museum. Refer to point 2.

10.  Childhood looks like childhood looks like childhood. That is, kids will be kids and trains will bring joy no matter where the child slept the night before. There is a beautiful consistency in the reaction a child has upon recognizing a train set: the excitement, the explorative energy, and the pointedly focused play that will ensue (a sort of focus I have rarely witnessed anywhere else, with children or adults). It is simple, and it is powerful.

In conclusion, it is important to pay attention to trains. It is important to think about memories of trains you might have from your own childhood. It is important to thank your uncle for the train set he got you when you were three, because who knew how important this childhood point of reference would become for you twenty years later. Whenever you see a train, perhaps you should take notes. That way, the next time a seven year old asks for help with his journal entry, you will be prepared to draw a train with the correct number of wheels.

Check out Mustard Seed’s Amazon Wish List .

Keep up with Mustard Seed on Facebook!

Call (916)-447-3626 to learn more about Mustard Seed and to find out how you can show your support!

The post Trains Planes and Automobiles, But Really Mostly Just Trains appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

To celebrate, North C Street Stories is going to feature Mustard Seed School for the month of October. We will be gaining insight from our wonderful teachers, students, and families. And to begin, here is a short history of Mustard Seed:

Established in 1989 to help meet the needs of homeless children, Mustard Seed is a free, private school for children ages 3 to 15. They provide a safe, nurturing environment, positive learning, happy memories, survival resources of food, clothing, and shelter referrals, medical and dental screenings, immunization updates, counseling for children and their parents, and assistance entering or reentering public schools.

Mustard Seed follows the Montessori Method of education, therefore in each classroom “there is a present, future curriculum already in place: the peace curriculum. With the peace curriculum, the only rule is to respect each other, the environment, and ourselves” (Chakira-teacher at Mustard Seed).

There is a time out corner in each Mustard Seed classroom where students can take some time to themselves and savor solitude.

By following the Montessori Method of education, students are able to build a strong, stable foundation for their education before they enter or reenter into public schools.

Many of Mustard Seed’s students are arriving un-enrolled from school because the places their families find to sleep are often not near a school and they only plan to stay in that location for a short period of time. Plus, sometimes a school will request an address or updated immunizations which homeless families cannot provide. This leaves many children out of the school system. Yet, in spite of their situations, the children arrive at Mustard Seed eager to learn and to be accepted.

A volunteer helps a Mustard Seed student journal.

Anywhere from fifteen to thirty-five children attend Mustard Seed each day. And the average stay is only three to four weeks. Some of the students have been out of the school system for a long time and need help going back. Therefore, a major goal for Mustard Seed is to prepare and enroll homeless children into public schools once families have found housing stability.

4500 individual children have participated in Mustard Seed since the school began in 1989.

Last week I sat down with Stacy, one of our Pre-school teachers. It is her first year teaching, but her fourth year with Mustard Seed. Stacy began her journey with Mustard Seed as the Student Resources Associate, eventually transitioning into Pre-school teacher this year.  Here is a re-cap of the interview:

“Magical. Just magical”.

That is exactly how Stacy would describe Mustard Seed. And she is exactly right. The moment you walk into the courtyard, you can feel this sense that something magical is happening here. There is a feeling of comfort and love as you walk past the murals on each cottage-style classroom. You cannot visit Mustard Seed and not feel the magic that surrounds the air as children escape the stress of homelessness for the day, rebuilding their educational foundations. And through this magic, a major challenge for Stacy is accepting that every day will be unique. This is because 1) Mustard Seed follows the Montessori Method and 2) children are always transitioning back into public schools.

Two Mustard Seed students collaborate on a classroom project.

But, even with that challenge, Stacy believes that the best apart about working here is that she can simply come here, give herself, and love freely. The kids are eager to learn and simply seeking a place of acceptance. And Mustard Seed fosters an environment for exactly that. The simplicity of what children need to feel support is the best part about working for Mustard Seed.

Lastly, what do you wish the greater Sacramento community knew about Mustard Seed?

“I wish the greater Sacramento community understood that the families here are just like you and me. They care just as much for their kids as we do and that these kids have parents that love them”.

Check out Mustard Seed’s Amazon Wish List .

Keep up with Mustard Seed on Facebook!

Call (916)-447-3626 to learn more about Mustard Seed and to find out how you can show your support!

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The only true guardian of peace lies within: a sense of concern and responsibility for your own future and an altruistic concern for the well-being of others. 

Dalai Lama

World Peace Day-September 21, 2017.

I am at Loaves & Fishes to photograph the dedication of Friendship Park’s new Peace Pole. Peace Poles are recognized throughout the world as the most prominent international symbol and monument to peace. Peace Poles bear the message, “May Peace Prevail on Earth” in all the languages of the world. It is estimated that there are more than 200,000 Peace Poles that have been dedicated in nearly every country on Earth.

Friendship Park is a safe haven for Sacramento’s homeless, a sanctuary where a little piece of peace can be found and shared. May you find some peace in these images.

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In the emergency room of Dignity Health’s Methodist Hospital, in South Sacramento, ordinary snacks serve a noble cause. Caz Sliwa, a registered nurse, operates Kindness Cantina, which provides hospital staff with soda, coffee, chips and the opportunity to give back to their homeless neighbors for just a dollar. He has volunteered at Loaves & Fishes for the past three years.

Sliwa stocks and maintains the venue that buys a monthly nutritious breakfast served by him and fellow emergency room employees to the guests of Friendship Park. Sliwa’s manager came up with the idea for Kindness Cantina after the hospital did away with all of its vending machines, leaving the staff without an outlet for snacking pleasures.

The Kindness Cantina, stationed in the staff break room, operates through the honor system: patrons fork over a buck for each snack purchased.

“We supply potato chips, Doritos, candy and cans of soda, and it is great for our staff and especially our nighttime staff to have the opportunity to buy snacks because in the middle of the night, they can’t go anywhere to get food,” Sliwa said.

The proceeds afford a nutritious breakfast for guests of Friendship Park, including hard-boiled eggs, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and homemade oatmeal topped with brown sugar, raisins and milk. The morning meal serves about 300 and costs about $550 to put together.

Sliwa and his co-workers also bring survival supplies from the hospital to Friendship Park, such blankets, inflatable mattresses and socks.

A Loaves & Fishes sock donation bag stationed in the hopsital.

The best part about volunteering, Sliwa says, is being able to make a difference in the lives of those who are experiencing homelessness. “Many of us are nurses; and that’s why we became nurses, because we like to help people,” he said.

“We set our breakfast up so that everything that we do is portable – a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a baggie is going to last a long time and we make hardboiled eggs so that they can eat those anytime of the day,” Sliwa said. “I’ve heard people say that this is great that we have dinner for tonight.”

Though the group only serves the breakfast once a month, the Kindness Cantina provides Methodist Hospital staff the opportunity to give back 365 days a year.

“For us, the breakfast program is really a daily thing at Methodist Hopsital to draw people to support Loaves & Fishes,” Sliwa said. “I have one guy who told me that he never thought that he would pay $50 a month for peanut M&Ms, but because he knows where the money is going; he drops a $20 bill in the money bucket for Kindness Cantina and will take out several packages of peanut M&Ms over the course of a week.”

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Loaves & Fishes staffers and volunteers put on their game face — humility, empathy and elbow grease — while dispensing some of the comforts of home to those who have none.

This scene plays out in kind daily from a kiosk in Friendship Park, where guests form a queue outside two service windows to obtain lunch tickets, crucial information and the bare necessities for confronting the rigors and uncertainties of life without hearth or home.

By way of introduction, I’m a novice volunteer in the kiosk, stationed here on Thursdays, mostly behind a computer screen and keyboard, signing up the hundreds who depend heavily on a hearty lunch to fill the void of diets that too often are fed by slim pickings.

This task is not far-flung from my career as an editor for the daily newspaper in Buffalo, N.Y., from where I retired recently before moving closer to my daughter in Sacramento. Both tasks are filled with uncertainties, deadline pressures and a never-ending learning curve — all hinged on the hopes that you’re doing right by folks who really, really depend on you.

Some guests arriving at Friendship Park are newly homeless, in need of just about everything, including survival gear and encouraging advice on how to navigate and survive in an affluent community that talks the talk about solutions for housing the homeless but, as yet, can’t seem to walk the walk.

Others guests are veterans of the dilemma, and rely on Friendship Park as a daily lifeline, way station and social circle, beginning with coffee at 7 a.m.  to last call about mid-afternoon. From here, they branch out to take advantage of myriad services, from the simple luxury of taking a shower to exchanging clothing and shoes weathered by life on the streets.

Carol Brown, my co-volunteer in the park kiosk on Thursdays, is a veteran Loaves & Fishes volunteer of many years.  She is a role model of composure and a comfort to both staffers and guests — unflappable in the face of the unexpected and a constant reminder that the job is always a learning experience. No experts need apply.

Carol, captured in a fleeting moment in between dispensing vitamins, Chapstick and tums to the guests of Friendship Park.

Our kiosk domain features drawers, shelves, nooks and crannies containing articles of great importance to the guests, who spend much time outdoors.

There are safety pins and sewing kits that extend the life of clothing, backpacks and sleeping bags. There are shoelaces.

Sunscreen, lip balm and bug repellent are essentials, especially for the extremes of the Sacramento summer. Hygiene kits distributed toward the end of the Friendship Park day include shampoo, conditioner, soap, a toothbrush and toothpaste.  Also available are mouthwash, sanitizer, tissue packs, wet wipes, dental floss, combs and nail clippers.

The kiosk is an over-the-counter source for painkillers, including aspirin, ibuprofen and acetaminophen — a welcome comfort for those who log miles of harsh life on sore feet. There are vitamins, antacids and Band-aids and antiseptics.

Though the promise of sundries and articles for the guests is consistent, availability is not always guaranteed. Sometimes there are shortages and other times things just run out. Candy is always in demand, especially before lunch,  but the sweet treats are largely dependent on what is donated.

This modest kiosk also serves as nerve central for Friendship Park and services, including day storage for guests, bicycle sign-up and cellphone charging.

Park administrator Hannah Ozanian works aside a determined crew of staffers who mingle with guests, make sure resources are available and ensure order and the well-being for all.

Just outside the front window of the kiosk, guests can sign up for health insurance options. Nearby, housing counseling and veterans outreach services are available.

But for many of the guests, the Friendship Park experience is down time — relaxation on benches, with some even managing to catch a few winks.  Others play cards or catch up on shared interests.

And, on special days, community musicians provide the familiar tunes and backbeat for some good-natured karaoke — typically, a post-lunch coda to another day at Friendship Park.

From this volunteer’s outlook from the kiosk, very little is ever routine and every day serves up a unique set of challenges.

This nothing-new, nothing-ventured analogy is one explanation for why the dedication of volunteers like Carol Brown is counted in the years. Making a difference in the lives of others is a rich reward, indeed.

The post The Friendship Park Kiosk as experienced by a former newspaper editor appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

When Shon first came to Loaves & Fishes, he was simply looking to get a TB test. Instead, he left with a TB test, two sleeping bags, and a newfound community.

Shon’s first experience with Loaves & Fishes caused him to feel safe, secure, and loved by the staff, the volunteers, and the other guests. And this has caused him to return to Loaves & Fishes whenever his life needs it, most recently since June.

Therefore, on most days you can find Shon sitting on a bench under the new mist-ers, facing towards the entrance of Friendship Park. He arrives at Loaves & Fishes a little after 7am, but not before making a quick stop at a shelter to check-in and see where he stands on their waiting list. Each week he has moved up, closer and closer to getting a bed. And each week he provides a mountain of knowledge to all who enter Friendship Park.

Shon gains this knowledge both from his personal experiences and through his time spent in the park. Throughout the day you will find him wandering the park as he catches up with both guests and staff.

Shon is always making connections with others, learning from their knowledge and experiences before he passes that knowledge onto someone else.

When asked what advice he could offer, he simply put: “If I don’t have the information that you need, then always talk to a green hat”. And that definitely is true. Shon is the person that always has the answer, anywhere from CalFresh options to shelter requirements to the safest places to rest. He almost always has the answer. Or at least knows who to talk with to get the answer. And it is all due to his interactions within the park each day.

Lastly, I asked Shon what is his favorite part of Friendship Park and his immediate response was, “I simply like being in the park”. To him, you cannot separate out each aspect of the park and say that it stands alone. Rather, Friendship Park is a safe place because of all the programs it provides: from the washroom to the service center, it all comes together be a space of peace.

So, the next time you visit Friendship Park, make sure to say “hello” to Shon.

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The door above has memories for me. I see it nearly every week on my early morning K Street walks. From 1999 to 2007 it was the door I entered to start my work day at the California District Attorneys Association (CDAA).

I was usually the first person at work. Nearly every morning I would find the same homeless man, “Bill,” asleep in the employee entrance blocking the doorway. Most of the time I had to wake him and ask that he move so I could get inside. Bill would give me a gruff “good morning” and then move so I could enter the building. I in turn would give Bill some coffee money. For several years this was our morning routine. Then Bill disappeared and I never saw him again.

CDAA moved to a new location in 2007. The building at 731 K Street still stands but has been vacant for eight years. Whenever I walk K Street I often think of Bill, especially when I see other homeless people sleeping in what was once Bill’s place.

There are definitely more homeless on K Street today than there were in 1999. At the Sacramento Convention Center where I start my K Street walks there is statue with the inscription, “What have we wrought?” Good question.

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I am sure you have heard of Mustard Seed. And no, I am not referring to a seed we sow to produce a plant, although the seeds that are sown at this school will reap a harvest that will indefinitely carry them throughout their entire lives. It’s the little ole school that does “BIG THINGS” everyday.

Everyday parents such as myself sign our kids into this school with the knowledge that our most prized possessions are well cared for. And they are! Seeing is believing with me. The love, the care, the patience, the respect our children receive is unmatched. No wonder my 2 kids love it here!

I am the mother of 6 but only have 1 child in my care currently. This summer I had the privilege of having my 12 year old son Ante’ with me too. You see,  Ante has behavior problems that stems from my past drug addiction, parental neglect, and a mixture of other things. And since I am the only one who understands him, because I also dealt with these same issues as a child, to Mom he came.

Being homeless is extremely difficult especially when there are children we have to provide for along with ourselves. We live it “one day at a time” literally! Some days we win. Some days we feel defeated. But we do not dare give up!

Our children count on us to provide for their needs and they expect us to be there for them. We do it everyday the best way we can. And we leave the rest up to God. His ways are much higher than ours anyhow.  

We sleep in our vans. Our cars. Outside in a tent. In motels. We sleep wherever we can. Sometimes we even sleep on the couches or floors of family members. We bear the load of caring for our children in circumstances such as these while trying hard not to burden them with our  “adult stuff.”

On a day to day basis, we encounter many things on different levels.

Sometimes we parents have difficult mornings and lack the coping skills we need to be able to push beyond the hurt.

We deal with our own children’s whines, tempers, as well as trying to stay strong for ourselves.

We encounter drivers with road rage. We make calls to different agencies asking for help only to hear a no!

We are pushed to deal with a housing program that has funding for us, but puts us through a bunch of unnecessary changes just to say, ‘no you are not approved.’ And the reason most of do not get approved for housing is because the rule of the program is this: either you sleep outside, in your car, or wait to get into a shelter and that’s it. Who wants to continue to sleep outside or in a car? We can’t even rent a motel room and still be qualified for the housing program at the same time.

It takes so much strength, so much courage and an extremely strong will to endure seasons such as the one we homeless families currently find ourselves in. We swallow our pride everyday while trying to hold onto our dignity.

So, when we can go about our day in confidence knowing that our babies are ok, it is a sigh of relief. One less thing we have to stress over.

I am so grateful for these wonderful ladies who pour themselves into the lives of our children effortlessly.

Casey, the Coordinator, who meets and greets us with a smile everyday. She is sweet, patient, caring, and exemplifies love for every single child every single moment she is present. She oversees the care of the School. The children. The volunteers, the donations, as well as the staff, with dignity and honor and trust. Thank you Casey! Every seed you’ve sown shall reap a harvest!

Let us consider for a moment the daily demands of every child with their delicate needs. And still each child is treated equal and fair. There are no favorites here. This is what every staff at this school exemplifies and I am honored to have my children among such a wonderful group of people.

Lucia, she gives herself to those kids freely.  And no one else can take her place. The kids see her first before going into the classroom and see her last before leaving the school. She is strict but patient, tough but loving. She is the one who handles all the intakes when we first enroll our children into Mustard Seed. She assesses each family/child for needs and makes sure they are taken care of.  Upon entry each child receives a pack of underwear, socks, along with a backpack full of supplies. If they need more, just let her know and she will make it happen. Such a rare gift! God bless you!

And let’s not forget about Liana, she does all the paperwork with a smile.

This type of service is needed throughout the world, but as homeless families we are blessed that we get it right where we are. It’s like God’s hands are working through these ladies to make sure our kids are ok so that we parents can be ok.

It takes a special type of person to impact the lives of children through empowerment, enrichment, and care. And that is exactly what our children receive every single day.

Ms. Annabelle and the few others you guys rock too! Good luck on your new journey. And thank you to for caring for our children unconditionally with restrictions or biases. We love you!

Let us recognize Mustard Seed school for all their hard work, dedication to our children, exemplary service and unconditional love. They are truly a Godsend and we are truly blessed and thankful to have them among us.

THANK YOU MUSTARD SEED FAMILY!  

                                       YOU GUYS ARE THE BOMB.COM!

Written by Joquel Hunt

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This daily struggle for the homeless is dehumanizing, and also a public health issue, with tuberculosis, meningitis and diarrheal diseases running rampant.

In 2011, a United Nations expert on safe drinking water and sanitation who visited a homeless encampment along the Sacramento River was outraged by the lack of sanitation facilities, noting, “The criminalization of public urination and defecation combined with a lack of public toilets leaves homeless people in desperate situations without alternatives.”

According to U.N. Standards every refugee camp should have one bathroom per twenty people. But, homeless encampments and public spaces are bathroom desserts. In Los Angeles, Skid Row’s population rests at just over 1000, but there are only nine restrooms that provide relief to the homeless community.

Sacramento’s recent point in time count concluded that there are nearly 4,000 people sleeping outside. But, many argue that the count under-represents Sacramento’s homeless population by not taking into account homeless families who often sleep on friends’ couches or in hotels rather than under the night sky where the count is held. As well, the count pales in comparison to 13,245 people who are documented as homeless and participate in a CalFresh program which allows them to use their food-assistance at participating restaurants.

Each day, nearly 600 guests rely on the toilets of Loaves & Fishes., which are maintained by staffers.

Key to this success of any restroom is toilet paper, which has been donated in generous abundance by the community over the years.

Loaves & Fishes’ annual toilet paper drive this month envisions the donation of 100,000 rolls of toilet paper, which will sustain the campus throughout the year, thus fulfilling our mission to “provide an oasis of welcome, safety, and cleanliness for homeless men, women and children seeking survival services.” Too, the rolls will help supply other Sacramento nonprofits.

To learn more about the struggle for public restrooms Check out these articles:

A SNR story profiling Loaves & Fishes guests who struggle each day to find bathrooms:

Joan Burke, Loaves & Fishes’ advocacy director, believes the city could save money on repairs to its public toilets by hiring a staff person to oversee the operation and maintain order. Last year, as part of a Bathroom coalition, Burke leaned on Councilman Jeff Harris to provide a public bathroom in the River District, – where much of Sacramento’s homeless population lives. The bathrooms featured receptacles for pet waste and used needles, air-conditioning and were staffed by an attendant who helped improve public safety.  But the facilities — planned as a temporary installation — are no longer there.

On Los Angeles’ skid row, there are nine bathrooms that service 1,000 people. As a result defecation and urination in the streets increase the risk that people who live along skid row will contract tuberculous, meningitis and diarrheal disease. Public restrooms should be a human right.

Check out this great design for a public bathroom created and piloted in Portland, Ore.

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For me the image above captures the decisive moment of a homeless man in a wheel chair with his own decisive moment of determining whether it is safe to cross K Street in downtown Sacramento. Needless to say, the white “Safe-to-walk” sign above his head doesn’t apply. He is handicapped further by those red numbers that tick down the walking time that he has left to cross the street. Something so simple as crossing the street is an additional burden for the homeless man. And today, it will reach 105 degrees.

The decisive moment is fleeting, i.e., once you miss that half of a second to capture an image, it is gone forever. You can never recreate the same circumstances in terms of locations and people. Here are some of my recent decisive moment images.

Photos and text by Gale Filter

The post The Decisive Moment appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

“They call me Mama Reba,” Reba said. “They come to me to talk and I listen. If they ask for advice, I give suggestions. I’m very spiritual. I have the spirit of God in me and I take that seriously and so do they. Sometimes I look into their eyes and hold their hands and let them know that they are beautiful and to smile because God loves them.”

Reba has experienced homelessness for almost a year.

To Reba, Maryhouse is a beacon of safety. Here, she is able to access a warm shower, hygiene products and clothing.

“I love being able to talk to all of the staff – Miss Debbie, Shannon, Judy, Hailey, Marlena, Ella and Kaylee,” she said. “I love talking to all of the ladies and having them watch out for me.”

“People don’t respect a woman who is homeless in any capacity,” Reba said. “Society expects women to know how to do everything, but being on the streets is really hard. It’s hard to find a place to sleep, to find a place to eat and to find a bathroom to use. The simple things are hard.”

She said that women experiencing homelessness are more vulnerable to sexual harassment and assault and often go about their days in a state of constant vigilance. They sleep with one eye open —  steeped in fear.

“I’ve been fortunate and I have been blessed because I have warriors and angels who protect me,” Reba said.

According to Reba, women experiencing homelessness who are physically or mentally disabled are extremely vulnerable on the streets. Their small assortment of personal belongings including their money, ids, clothes, cell phones, food stamps and mementos are often stolen from them.

“I see a lot of things that make my heart bleed,” she said. “People don’t have to be mean to us, but they are. They are mean to us because of the way we dress and sometimes the way we speak. It’s hard to see people get spit on or cussed out. They don’t know what we go through to get from point A to point B. If you don’t have money to get on the bus or take a taxi, then you have to jump on the train to get where you need to go and if you don’t have your ticket, you get a ticket. If people would be generous enough to pay for a packet of bus passes and drop them off at Maryhouse that would help a lot. It would help us go to doctors appointments, go to the grocery store or see our kids.”

At Loaves, Reba can get breakfast and lunch as well as new clothes each week.

“I don’t have to ask for food,” she said. “I don’t have to ask for clothes and during the day, I don’t have to ask for protection and I can lay my head down at night and know I am very protected by God and good street people.”

“Loaves & Fishes is a blessing,” Reba said. “It’s how Jesus started – feeding the people — and for Loaves & Fishes to be named after that is a beacon of light to me. It is so important for people who are hungry to spend the day here and to get whatever supplies they need and help as far as housing advocacy, food and mental health services.”

Before she started to experience homelessness, Reba worked as an executive assistant in Dallas, Texas and lived with her daughter and two grandchildren. Her dream is to live with them again.

“You can’t take what you have for granted because you can be one paycheck away from being out here and if you are not the kind of person who can adjust to change, you won’t make it,” she said. “You have to be able to adjust to change.”

The post Reba: a survivor, chocked-full of motherly wisdom appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Gail Filter, Doug Winter and Theodore Goodwin captured stunning pictures of Loves & Fishes guests and provided them with two copies of their likeness — one to keep and one to send to their loved ones. (Keep scrolling to see their beautiful portraits).

Joe Walker livened up Friendship park with his piano playing and singing. And, staff and volunteers provided guests with cards to send to their dads and children.

“It is such a privilege to be able to recognize these men who perhaps haven’t been in contact with their family for years,” Hannah Ozanian, the Director of Friendship Park said. “You see it in their eyes when you elevate them and ask them to get their picture taken professionally. It is such an honor for them to realize that they deserve to have their picture taken as much as any other father.”

Many guests at Loaves & Fishes are estranged from their children because they’ve been surviving on the streets for so long. And many serve as fathers to those who are young and vulnerable and also experiencing homelessness.

“Father’s Day is an opportunity is to be with our guests who cannot reach out to their family and to make them feel as if they are family,” Goerge Kohrummel, the assistant director of Friendship Park said. “Our guests get to share their day and their thoughts with each other.”

Check out these pictures of our guests who we are so lucky to say belong to our family at Loaves & Fishes:

The post Fathers are homeless too appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

“Back then no one locked their doors,” he said. “I always wanted be a soda jerk at Vic’s Ice Cream Shop. They had the best ice cream.”

Jerry never got the job, but he worked as a bag boy at the Arata Brothers grocery store next to his family’s bar, the Irish Tavern.

“Oak Park was heavily Irish and then it was mostly black and now it’s getting gentrified,” he said.

Jerry entered the seminary when he was a freshman in high school. Twelve years later, he finished his studies and was ordained a priest for the Diocese of Sacramento.

His first assignment was at St. Patrick’s in Grass Valley – a community rich in California Gold Rush history. He then taught at St. Francis High School. Following that, he spent two and a half years at The Abbey of Our Lady of New Clairvaux, a Cistercian farming monastery nestled in the northern Sacramento valley. Though Jerry was attracted to the communal monastic life, he realized that his true vocation was in the parish community. He loves people and savors listening to the stories of their lives.

After leaving the monastery he was sent for several years to St. Philomene’s Church in Sacramento. He then was entitled to a new sabbatical year which he spent at the University of California in Berkeley. There he pursued studies in medieval European history. After this, he served as an assistant pastor at St. Catherine of Siena Church in Vallejo. From St Catherine’s he was sent to St. Lawrence the Martyr Church, located in the neighborhood of North Highlands. There he was finally made a pastor.

During Jerry’s 14 year tenure at St. Lawrence, three homes near to the church blew up in meth lab explosions and the church’s glass tower was shattered with gunshots on three different occasions.

Once, a lover’s quarrel occurred right across the street from church after evening mass. The victim of the shooting crawled over to the church asking for help. Jerry left his parishioners to meet the man outside  so that he didn’t bring the crossfire to the congregation.  Two parishioners — Mary, a nurse and Carol, a PE teacher — came with Jerry to help the man before an ambulance arrived.

“Mary automatically took off her white wool coat and made a pillow for his head and I thought that was the sweetest thing,” Jerry said.

The man survived, but it took over a year for the shooting to come to trial.

“It was just another day in North Highlands,” Jerry said.

Because North Highlands had an emerging Mexican population, Jerry decided to study Spanish for two months in Cuernavaca, Mexico to be able to reach out to new parishioners.

But after his schooling in Mexico, the Diocese transferred him to the heavily Spanish speaking parish of St. Christopher’s in Galt. In the rural and predominantly Mexican farming community, Jerry says that he gradually learned conversational Spanish. It took a year for him to become oriented to the culture of the vineyards and the dairies. But, once he was welcomed into the community’s Mexican culture, Jerry said that Galt became a dream come true.

As a retiree, Jerry lives in Campus Commons, and is an avid reader. He enjoys cooking and having friends over for dinner. His favorite dishes include chicken Provencal and pasta Bolognese.

On Tuesdays, he volunteers in the Loaves & Fishes dining room and performs food prep from 6:30 to 10 AM. After that, he volunteers with the Jail Visitation program.

For the past year and two months, he has visited a man named Robert in the Sacramento county jail.

Though Robert spent over a year in solitary he has yet to receive a hearing. He is a poet, an artist and a committed Christian. Robert has come to know God and Jesus Christ through his bible study while in jail.

“You listen, but you also share,” Jerry said about his time visiting Robert.

Jerry has sent Robert paperback books to read including an inspirational book about the lives of saints and a book about colored pencil drawing techniques, recommended to Robert by another inmate.

Robert has shared his artistic talents with Jerry sending him and his family members some of the greeting cards he has designed.

A Mother’s Day card that Robert designed for Jerry’s niece.

Jerry says that the experience of visiting Robert in the jail has taught him that we are built to encounter one another and learn the healing power of love.

The post Jerry Ryle, Dining Room and Jail Visitation Volunteer appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

A Place to Be, To Meet a Friend,

Broken Hearts, That Need to Mend.

An Empty Stomach and a Lonely Heart

There’s Always a Friend at Friendship Park.

A Place to Feel Like You’re at Home

At Loaves & Fishes, You’re Never Alone.

Lend a Hand and Offer Cheer

For Loaves & Fishes, is Always Here.

The post A meditation on Friendship Park from the Sacramento County Jail appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

On May 20th. Maryhouse celebrated mother’s day.

The hospitality shelter’s Mother’s Day brunch was hosted by the National Charity League, a national philanthropic organization which aims to cultivate mother-daughter relationships through community service, leadership development and cultural experiences.

The celebration which took place in the garden behind Maryhouse was especially sweet for the guests of Maryhouse who often exist in spaces that are traumatic and full of crisis. At the brunch, guests had the opportunity to slowdown and savor the simple indulgence of a celebration — a toast to their roles as mothers, sisters, daughters and friends. They were greeted with corsages and treated to a delectable feast composed of french toast casserole, egg casserole, buttery croissants, bacon, muffins, cupcakes and fresh sliced fruit.

They were waited on by staff and volunteers.

“At our mother’s day celebration, our guests are just generally treated like the wonderful women that they are,” Shannon Stevens, the director of Maryhouse said. “It is nice to have a day where our only job is to be present in a celebratory manner. We wait on guests, laugh and tell stories. Unlike routine days, when we are doing more intervention, the brunch is a real chance to slow down and enjoy everyone around us. It’s also incredible to have the opportunity to recognize the worthiness and radiance of our guests.”

The guests’ portraits were taken and they received gift bags with sunglasses, body spray, make up and a gift card.

“This is amazing! I’ve never been treated like a princess before,” one guest said.

Volunteers from the National Charity League provided a wonderful Mother’s Day feast for the guests of Maryhouse.

The post Maryhouse's Mother's Day Celebration appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Everyday, Friendship park powers through 60 gallons of Folgers coffee, 10 lbs of sugar and 10 lbs of powdered cream.

At 7:30 am, volunteers start serving breakfast to the guests.

Over the past year and a half, more than 40 different volunteer groups have come together to serve over 45,000 meals. The groups prepare bagged breakfasts before coming to Friendship park which often include oatmeal, sandwiches, fruit, bagels and breakfast rolls. Today about 270 hard boiled eggs were distributed in less than an hour.

It is a smooth and efficient operation thanks to the Loaves & Fishes staff who distribute breakfast tickets and keep the line moving. A special thanks to Elk Grove Resistance and Mercy Hospital Emergency Room volunteers who allowed me to shoot behind the lines. Great folks doing a great thing.

The post Friendship Park Breakfast Recipe appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

He moved to Sacramento from Nebraska after he rekindled his relationship with his father who he has been estranged from for 27 years.

In Sacramento, Samuel pursued a welding, machining and engineering program, found love and got to know his father, a former Hell’s Angel who now is clean-shaven and works at a thrift store. Samuel supported himself by driving Lyft and rented an apartment in South Sacramento.

When he wanted his fiancé, Kaya, to move in with him, he had an argument with his roommate. After that, his car was stolen along with his social security card and birth certificate.

The event spelled the couple’s descent into homelessness and the disintegration of Samuel’s relationship with his roommate.

For two months, the couple lived out of a tent that Samuel’s father purchased for them in South Sacramento and quickly ran through their savings and monthly allotment of Calfresh dollars.

“When you are homeless, you don’t have a kitchen to cook in so it is amazing how fast your money for food goes,” he said. “We didn’t have any place to store food so we’d just go to the gas station and the dollar store and buy small packages of lunch meat, loaves of bread, snacks and drinks. When we ran through food stamps, I started collecting cans. It was pretty rough.”

A few of the couple’s friends would invite them over for dinner in exchange for Samuel’s mechanic services.

“I have 20 years of experience as a drywall contractor, but no one will hire me without an ID or a birth certificate,” Samuel said.

Samuel has worked since he was fourteen years old. He has often worked construction jobs during the day and then managed a variety of businesses including a McDonalds, a gas station, a bar and a movie theatre in the evening throughout his career.

“I was raised by my step-dad who was a Navy Seal, he taught me the merit of hard work,” Samuel said. “I’d love to take any job I could get even though I haven’t worked for minimum wage since I was 14 years old.”

Samuel and Kaya didn’t discover Loaves and Fishes until they had lived on the streets for months. The discovery of the homeless survival center has made their lives easier.

“The features that Loaves and Fishes offers are really awesome,” Samuel said. “It so wonderful to be able to get a backpack, camping gear, tarps and coffee at Friendship park. A lot of the staff is really friendly and truly goes the extra mile for you. Cycles for Hope  comes here to fix bikes and occasionally gives bikes away.”

Through the Street Sheet, a homeless resource guide, that Loaves and Fishes hands out, Samuel and Kaya have learned how to maximize their resources. On weekdays, they get breakfast at the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament, lunch in the dining room of Loaves and Fishes and dinner at Union Gospel Mission. They also grab food to eat on the weekends at food pantries.

“We only qualify for $185 Calfresh dollars, but if you manage that money wisely, it can last a long time,” he said. “We shop at Grocery Outlet and the 99 cent store to save money.”

“I joke around and say that being homeless is kind of like being on vacation, but a very sucky vacation,” he said. “You don’t have worry about bills, but you have to deal with some people who are difficult people. I have OCD so I like everything to be neat and organized, but not everybody feels the same way that I do. The police just moved us from the river to a lot behind the casino and said that if we keep it clean, we won’t get arrested for being there. I police the area and pick up the mess that other people make and because of that sometimes people get angry at me for being in their space. If you get camping tickets, you have to do community service and after so many tickets, they take you to jail and you can’t get any of your stuff back for 90 days. I feel lucky that I’ve never gotten a camping ticket.”

Samuel likes to keep busy by engineering and designing bike carts. He recently built a 6-foot-long bike cart that has a dog kennel in the back. He charges others $25 an hour to build the carts which he can quickly assemble.

He is currently working with a navigator from Sacramento Steps Forward who he met at Loaves and Fishes. The navigator is helping Samuel acquire his social security card and birth certificate.

The post Samuel's Story appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

I took the photo above a few weeks ago outside the Notre Dame Cathedral in Strasbourg, France. I think the image captures what Mother Teresa observed about the homeless, “(T)he greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, having no one. . . (I)t is being unwanted that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience.”

This May marks a year I have spent shooting images of the homeless at Loaves and Fishes and the streets of Sacramento.  No matter where my travels and camera take me, there is a constant theme that I find: the homeless are invisible—for the most part ignored and denied by the community they live in. Many are scared and scarred without resources to counter the misfortunes of living on the streets.

The following images were taken at the end of April in cities and towns along the Rhine River.

The post A volunteer's Rhine River cruise inspires portraits of Europe's homeless appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

“She’s my baby. I got her a year and a half ago. I kept calling the SPCA to see if they had a Jack Russell Terrier and they called me and said that they had a dog that I might be interested in. I met her and I almost started crying. I lost my other dog to cancer and meeting her was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It’s my love and joy to protect her. I would give her all of my clothes just to keep her warm.”

Corey has been homeless for a year and a half. His mom was a school teacher and his dad was a pilot. For years, he worked as a nurse.

“I’ve been coming here for a month and seven days,” he said about Loaves & Fishes.

“Sister Libby is the nicest lady in the whole world, she says that in about a month she is going to take some time off and start a bicycle ministry. I’m going to help her.”

The post Corey & Jackie appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

For the first time in years, she was able to smile without feeling self-conscious. Her new pearly whites inspired her to look inward and to heal what was bruised in her soul.

“I got Obamacare and my teeth and I said well now it’s time to work on the rest of me,” she said.

Peggy stopped doing drugs in 2009. When she decided to get clean, she left town to help her niece, Sunny, take care of her children in Susanville. Peggy smoked her last bit of meth en route to be with Sunny. Since then, she has quit smoking cigarettes and weed.

“I was at a crossroads and it was way past my time,” she said.  “I was at a point where I was just floating; it didn’t feel like I was living.”

On November 13th, 1979 when Peggy was driving her daughter to school, she accidentally hit a 79 year old woman who was crossing the street. The woman died after the accident.

Peggy was 24 years old. Her memories from that morning have never left her.

“I had a fix it ticket on the break light of my car,” she said. “The day before I had to drive my daughter to school, my dad asked me if I got the fix it ticket signed off by a cop and I said that I hadn’t. He told me that you just have to pull a cop over and show them your fixed lights and get them to sign off on your ticket.”

The next morning, Peggy was at a traffic light with her daughter and a cop car was stopped in front of her at the light. She was preoccupied by the cop’s presence — worried that he would stop her and see that she didn’t get her ticket signed. She had to turn left on the two lane road.

“I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t all herky-jerky so my foot was hovering over the gas and the brake and I just wanted to make sure that I got into the center lane smoothly,” she said. “There was shade on the corner. It was close to 9:00 am in the morning. So as I entered the intersection and the crosswalk, a 79 year old lady just appeared at my windshield and I said, ‘Oh my God!’ and my daughter panicked. I was afraid to slam on my breaks because I didn’t want to throw her to the street. I just coasted for about three houses and she just slid off of my car and her head hit the street. I didn’t hit her; it just felt like we collided.”

Peggy had to go to jail because she never got her fix-it ticket signed. After getting out of jail, Peggy called the hospital multiple times to check on the woman. Four hours after her last attempt to learn about the woman’s condition, the hospital staff told her that the woman “had expired.”

“I’ve been dealing with that since November 13th, 1979,” Peggy said. “I have a very strong feeling that this is one of the things in my life that has kept me on drugs for so long. I would just stay self-medicated and then Obamacare saved my life. If not for Obamacare, I wouldn’t have been able to take care of my teeth. I wouldn’t have been able to get a therapist. But, now, I have great teeth and have grown immensely. I have no desire to do drugs, but I have a strong desire to find out what I want to be when I grow up. It’s time, I’m 61 years old.”

After taking care of her niece’s children, Peggy couch surfed and saw a therapist who recommended that she enroll in a course at Women’s Empowerment.

Lisa Culp, the executive director of Women’s Empowerment, suggested that Peggy try to live at Sister Nora’s place, a long-term shelter for women with a history of trauma and mental and physical illness operated by Loaves & Fishes. Culp got Peggy in touch with Tricia Nelson, the director of Sister Nora’s place who then arranged for Peggy to meet with Vince Gallo, the director of Genesis who approves the intake for residents of Sister Nora’s place. Genesis is Loaves & Fishes mental health program and offers free counseling, group therapy and social work services.

Peggy was accepted into Sister Nora’s Place and she has been a resident at Sister Nora’s for almost a year.

The living room at Sister Nora’s Place.

“Sister Nora’s place is a very secure, warm and comfortable place,” she said. “I’m never worried about what is going to happen tomorrow when I am there. Sister Nora’s is drug and alcohol free so it’s a wonderful thing because we are all in the same place – trying to be clean and be good to ourselves.”

“I call Sister Nora’s Place a program because shelter just seems so sad and I am not sad there,” she said. “I’ve grown leaps and bounds since I’ve been there.”

Sister Nora’s place is adorned with artwork, photos, personal mementos and communal spaces.

The Sister Nora’s Dining Room — every night volunteers from the community bring and cook dinner for the residents and guests of Sister Nora’s.

On the second floor, long-term residents sleep in cubicles with a closet, twin-sized bed and set of drawers. Short-term residents sleep in the Hope room which is located on the first floor and furnished with three beds.

Peggy’s bedroom.

“We are all sisters,” Peggy said of her fellow residents at Sister Nora’s. “In the year that I’ve been at Sister Nora’s, we all get along. Of course, sometimes we get on each other’s nerves like old married couples. We are a great support group. I am the crier of the group so if something seems a little emotional everyone will look at me and offer me Kleenex.”

Hope Room where temporary guests of Sister Nora’s sleep.

Peggy frequents Genesis for therapy with Director Vince Gallo.

“Vince has helped me grow immensely since I’ve started to see him,” she said. “He pointed out to me – not that I didn’t know that I was holding onto something that I shouldn’t have been – that there is a name for what I’m doing it’s called OOCD – primarily obsessional obsessive compulsive disorder and I’ve been basically ruminating on 1979. I just keep playing it over and over again in my mind and it’s not going away. It will probably never go away.”

Now that she isn’t on drugs, Peggy’s memories of the accident are stronger, but with the support of Sister Nora’s Place and Genesis, Peggy feels stronger too.

The Sister Nora’s community room (where coffee is brewed and snacks are shared).

Each weekday, she works from 8 am to 9 am at the Loaves & Fishes Welcoming Center and often works on an on-call basis in the afternoon.

“I love it because I am being helpful,” she said. “I’m 61 years old so it is not too strenuous and I could do it for many, many years and still be able to come here and enjoy what I’m doing because no two hours are alike.”

As the receptionist for the Welcoming Center, Peggy fields calls from donors, volunteers and people experiencing homelessness in need of resources.

“This job has given me a purpose and being here [at Loaves & Fishes] has made me humble,” she said. “Last year at this time, I never would have seen myself here. My niece comes and picks me up and she says, ‘It makes me sad every time that I come pick you up from here.’ So I brought her in and gave her a tour of Sister Nora’s Place. She then understood how warm and homey it is inside. When people see my name tag, I feel like I am a part of the Loaves & Fishes family.”

The post Peggy's new smile changed her life appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Samuel speaks elegantly about God, love and the inhumanity of homelessness. His dream is to use his words to preach.

Originally from Chicago, he moved to Sacramento when his son started school as a photography major at Sacramento State. Samuel became homeless after he and his wife separated.

“My family is back in Chicago so I ended up at the Mission because I’m not one to be leaning on anyone and that’s where it started,” he said. “I did want to run back to home, but God has a way of putting everything in order.”

Samuel says that he survived the inhumanity of homelessness because he had a mission — to show those experiencing homelessness that he could do the seemingly impossible — acquire permanent housing.

“I took it upon me and my heart that someone could make it into housing,” he said. “It’s hard to get inspired waking up every day out of a sleeping bag and a tent, but I did it”

People who are homeless feel like they don’t belong to the community, Samuel said.

“They are all hurting inside from not feeling loved and being rejected from their family and society,” he said. “Because society gave up on them, they are giving up on life.”

Samuel doesn’t believe that the word homeless should be used.

“Housing is just a shelter to keep your roof over your head and home is here,” he explained as he gestured to his heart.

“Being without shelter should not mean that you are without a home,” Samuel said. “I belong to America and this is the land of milk and honey. I’m home.”

“God tells us to love each other unconditionally and I don’t think that is promoted enough in churches,” he said. “Human beings are one of god’s greatest creations and we should all love each other unconditionally. I think that people can’t learn to love until they love themselves. That’s how we were taught to survive as babies.”

“Loaves & Fishes is God,” Samuel said. “It is Jesus Christ. This is God’s way of saying this is what I want in life – to love unconditionally. I’ve been to all kinds of churches, but I notice that right here, this is straight from heaven.”

The post Samuel's new home inspires hope appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Donald Lewis delights in bringing new life to objects that are in disrepair.

He volunteers at Friendship Park on Wednesday and Friday, the Loaves & Fishes maintenance shed on Tuesday and Thursday and then Tuesday and Thursday evening and Saturday afternoon at the Bicycle Kitchen.

Donald has refurbished his 1970’s era, 9 foot chopper cruiser bike himself. It has a radio with speakers attached to its handle.

A relative newcomer to Sacramento, he  recently rode his chopper all the way to historic Folsom. Originally from Woodland, Colorado, he is enamored with Sacramento’s bike trails.

“I taught myself how to ride a bicycle when I was 7 years old and have been building and riding bicycles ever since,” Donald said.

He bikes to Loaves & Fishes from his home in Tahoe Park nearly every day.

Donald said the most important lesson, he has learned in life has been how to approach others with the desire to learn from them.

He knows intimately what it is like to be judged for his demeanor and physique rather than for his intellect or talent.

“People have a tendency to judge me because I stutter and walk with a limp” he said. “They don’t immediately notice my talents or intellect.”

“The Loaves & Fishes staff smile every time I show up – that makes me feel welcome because I feel like I am a part of their family,” he said.

“There are a lot of really good people at Loaves & Fishes that care for a lot of people here,” Donald said. “There are a lot of people with psych problems who would have nowhere else to go if it wasn’t for this community of people who care so much.”

The post Donald Lewis: Bike renovator, handyman and Loaves & Fishes volunteer appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Oh, a storm is threatening

My very life today

If I don’t get some shelter

Oh yeah, I’m gonna fade away

         Rolling Stones (1969)

All that glitters is not gold.  Think about it.  We live in the Golden State, under the capitol’s golden dome and now have the new Golden 1 Center, home of the Sacramento Kings. That’s a lot of gold, but for Sacramento’s “Second City” homeless there is no gold or for that matter little that glitters. The Second City homeless are the thousands of homeless men, women and children that have no permanent place to sleep.

If there is any doubt about the existence of the Second City homeless, all one has to do is take an early morning walk along the “Kay”, downtown’s K Street Mall, a stretch of seven blocks that runs from Sacramento’s Convention Center to the Downtown Plaza, home of the Golden 1 Center.

It is the morning after a heavy rain. I can’t help but notice all the new stores and businesses on the Kay.  There is a lot of construction going on, part of the urban plan for Sacramento’s revitalization.  This morning I also see many homeless in improvised, makeshift doorway shelters.  

A lot of money is being poured into the revitalization of downtown Sacramento and the Kay.  However, these images suggest that Sacramento’s Second City homeless is seeing little, if any, of the Capitol’s new capital.  Perhaps, some of that new money will trickle down to the Second City homeless, but the Rolling Stones’ “Gimme Shelter” keeps playing in my head.   

The post Gimme Shelter appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Wally has been experiencing homelessness for the past 25 years and this was the first time they connected since he started living on the streets. The three men worked together for the city before Wally had a tragic motorcycle accident that resulted in a brain injury.

Wally was brought to the window of the coffee shack  and Andy and Bob surprised him with cake. The sweet confection went quickly on the rainy day as the old friends reminisced in the coffee shack.

“It’s refreshing,” Wally said of the surprise. “I like seeing the old friends. We go back to some crazy times.”

Wally likes to come to Friendship Park to people watch. The best lesson that he’s gleaned from life is learning how take everything one day at time.

Lots of laughter was shared by the old acquaintances who will reunite in a few days for a work reunion in El Dorado Hills.

The post Wally's 74th birthday heralds a reunion appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Contrast it with Steve Lopez’s column in the Los Angeles Times a day later: A true L.A. hero: For people dying on L.A. streets, he offers help, and he won’t take no for an answer

Los Angeles has approved a $1.2 million dollar housing bond to help homeless people and is about to vote on a $.25 cent sales tax for homeless services. Businesses and developers strongly support the measure: Developers join the campaign for quarter-cent sales tax to fund homeless services

Here in Sacramento, Mayor Steinberg is fighting to win approval for an allocation of housing choice vouchers and crafting an ambitious mix of government (federal, state and local) and private (Sutter Health and others) funding to provide supportive services for homeless and at risk people.

Breton offers no constructive suggestions; Steve Lopez captures the humanity and suffering of the destitute on the streets and supports Los Angeles bond and sales tax. Which city is better served by its columnist?

Sacramento deserves better.

Joan Burke
Director of Advocacy
Loaves & Fishes

The post Stark Contrast – Which city is better served by its columnist? appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

The looking-glass self is a social psychological concept that states a person’s self grows out of society’s interpersonal interactions and the perceptions of others. In other words, how we see ourselves does not come from who we really are, but rather from how we believe others see us.

For me, photography is an instrument of change. For example, I firmly believe that images have the power to alter the viewer’s perception of those who are homeless. More recently, I have reached the conclusion that strong images can also change how the homeless see themselves.

On the second Saturday of the month you will find me at Loaves and Fishes shooting homeless people and their pets. This is when the University of California Davis Mercer Veterinary Clinic provides the pets of homeless individuals with basic veterinary care.

I try to capture in “family portraits”, the comfort and joy that dogs bring to their homeless owners. After processing the images, the pet owners are provided with the pictures I have taken. For many owners one picture is a more than a thousand words. A single picture is also a looking-glass for owners to see the bonds of love and companionship that exist between themselves and their pets.

-Gale

The post Photography and the Looking-Glass Self appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

This should come as a shock to no one. Homelessness has become (or does it simply continue to be?) a prominent issue in the Sacramento region. Individuals speaking on behalf of different interests– businesses, activists, landlords, nonprofits, builders, health professionals– implore our city and county officials to do something about it.

People are dying, children are sleeping outside. The time to do something is now.

After last week’s joint meeting–and for weeks, months, and years prior–The Sacramento Bee published many important articles on homelessness in Sacramento.

The following articles are taken from The Sacramento Bee throughout the last week, and highly worth reading. They are a snapshot, a point in time picture of what homelessness is right now, and how we are addressing the issue as a government and a people.

Hopefully we can look back on these articles in the future, and celebrate how far we’ve come and the solutions we have created. For now, here we are:

“Let Sacramento’s homeless sleep in Peace” Dave Kempa

http://www.sacbee.com/opinion/california-forum/article128747574.html

“Is there hope again to find a way off Sacramento’s Streets?” Erika Smith

http://www.sacbee.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/erika-d-smith/article129273259.html

“Overcoming the dysfunction on homelessness” Erika Smith

http://www.sacbee.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/erika-d-smith/article130237214.html

“Sacramento city and county take first steps toward giving housing to homeless” Anita Chabria and Ellen Garrison

http://www.sacbee.com/news/local/article129977289.html

“Sacramento moves ahead on public housing for homeless, but county wants more time” Anita Chabria and Ellen Garrison

http://www.sacbee.com/news/local/article130211079.html

The post Hope for Homeless in Sacramento? appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Puppy love, the kind that I speak of, is pretty simple: it is the intense bonds that exist between dogs and their homeless owners. For many homeless, dogs provide the unconditional love, support and even therapy needed to cope with the hardships of life on the streets.

On the second Saturday of every month, no matter the weather, you will find Sacramento’s homeless and their dogs queued up at the University of California Davis’ Mercer Veterinary Clinic next to Loaves and Fishes’ new Friendship Park. Lines can can be long, but for the homeless the wait is well worth it.

The Mercer Veterinary Clinic for the Homeless is a program operated by student volunteers of the UC Davis School of Veterinary Medicine. Since 1992, the Clinic has provided the pets of homeless individuals with basic veterinary care, access to emergency care, and pet food — all free of charge. Dogs are the primary patients far outnumbering cats. Dogs with medical problems requiring surgery, radiology or other advanced care, are referred to Clinic approved veterinarians in the community.

In My Dog Always Eats First: Homeless People and Their Animals (2013), Sociology professor Leslie Irvine provides crucial insight to the central role that dogs play in the lives of some of the homeless community. “For many homeless their dog is more than a companion. In many cases the dog is their only family.” Dogs give many homeless something to live for. Those who work at the Mercer homeless animal clinic and Loaves and Fishes know this.

Over a period of three months, I was at the Clinic on second Saturdays photographing the interaction that occurs among UC Davis veterinarians, student clinic volunteers, the homeless and their dogs. In these images, you can see, and perhaps feel, the healing power, comfort, joy and companionship that dogs bring to their homeless owners.

Gale

The post Second Saturday Puppy Love appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Mustard Seed School provides a safe space for children while their parents access other services on the Loaves & Fishes campus. These services include: breakfast and lunch meals, mental health services, housing information, showers, and various other survival services.

Mustard Seed School also provides students with snacks, lunches, school supplies, and anything else they may need during the school day.

The post Mustard Seed School appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

 I first became acquainted with Darrell in 1999 when I was working downtown and joined CAC.  Up until I retired, Darrell and I would see each other on a regular basis, either at the CAC or the Sunday farmer’s market under the freeway.

It was great seeing Darrell yesterday.  He is more than an acquaintance.  He is the guy I would start most of my work days with.  Darrell is an amazing story.  He has been living on Sacramento streets for more than 25 years!  Yesterday, he told me that this year he will be celebrating his 55th birthday and that he is down to seven (7) teeth.  It is good to know that he spends some of his time “hanging” at Loaves & Fishes.

The post Old Friends appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

You’re invited to help usher in our newly relocated Friendship Park at Loaves & Fishes. The ceremony will feature a triumphant entrance through the park gates, an interfaith blessing, and a ribbon cutting. Enjoy the open house and refreshments immediately following. More info at https://sacloaves.org/friendship-park/grand-opening

Photographs Courtesy of Gale Filter

The post Friendship Park Grand Opening appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

The dining room doors will soon open. A hot ham and turkey dinner is being served, Christmas stockings given to guests, and all receive warm holiday greetings from Loaves and Fishes staff and volunteers. Today, the dining room also provides shelter, a short respite from the bitter cold.

I find that black and white images of the homeless speak loudly about both conditions and needs. I also feel that in some instances images provide windows to the heart, soul and minds of those photographed.

-Gale Filter

The post Christmas Day 2016 in black, white, and a little color appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

I got out of prison in 2009 and I’ve been homeless ever since. I’ve been going through Guest House and they are helping me apply for social security and once I get my social security, I can try and get housing. But 99% of housing are apartments and apartments don’t allow large dogs. I have a large dog–half Pitbull and half American bull mastiff named Spyke. Most of the housing will not accept my dog. I tell them, “he’s not a dog, he’s a family member.” I’d like to rent a small house that has a little bit of a back yard. That way, he could have room to run so Spyke has a small yard.

One of the things I’ve had to overcome today is depression and at first I didn’t want to get up and come in. It’s cold out there and Spyke looked at me – “uh, I ain’t going out there, it’s cold out there, I’m staying right here under my blankets.” But I knew I had to come in for my social security paperwork and to get my phone on the charger. Librarian helps me out, and Lisa, she’s always gotta cheerful attitude and always brings me out of my depression. Mart is always there so we can put our dogs in the kennel and do what we need to do, get coffee, eat lunch, and the workers here are always helpful. They are always ready with a lending ear and if there is something troubling you, then you are more than welcome to get it off your chest as long as you don’t start getting violent.

Normally I get up when my alarm goes off at 6:30 am. I get up and hook Spyke up to the bike, come down here because they open the gate at 7 am, and the kennel opens up at 7am, so by the time I get down here it’s a little after 7. Sometimes I don’t get here until 8 o’clock. If it’s raining I stay at camp. [when it’s clear outside] On a day like this I’ll sign Spyke into the kennel, go over to [friendship] park, get my lunch ticket and my coffee but the coffee goes real quick. So, I’ve learned to have a small plastic jar filled with Folgers in my backpack, so if there’s no coffee I’ll use their hot water. Then I come over to the library, read the paper and do the puzzles, sign up for the computer, and after that I’ll walk Spyke and go to lunch. After lunch I’ll get Spyke and go do my [recycling] route and I’ll make it back to camp by 4:30 and get all my recycling separated and get it ready to turn in, I let it build up sometimes up to a week. If I know I need to go to the 99¢ store and get food and snacks I’ll go to the one on Northgate and cash in and then go right around the corner to the 99¢ store.

A friend of mine, Alissa, moved to Idaho last year and she could only take her 2 small dogs and she also had 3 large dogs. One she gave away, the second one she let him out onto the levee, and that left Spyke. She didn’t want to take him to the pound or let him loose on the river because the rangers out here have a “shoot on site” law. If they come into a camp and they see a Pitbull, their first action is to shoot the pitbull, whether it’s leashed or not because they’ve got it in their head that all pitbulls are bread to fight.

So, I said, “Hey I need a companion dog, I’ll take Spyke.” He was just about a year old, so I’ve had him for just about a year and a half. When I brought him into the clinic here he was just about 78 pounds. When I brought him back in August to get all his vaccinations updated, rabies shots updated they weighed him and he was 89.7 pounds and they said he still has 2 or 3, maybe 4 years left of growing to do so don’t be surprised when he tops out between 120 or 130 pounds, that’s the bull mastiff in him. I said, “Cool, we’ll be the same weight.”

The post Tell Me A Story– Spyke and Craig appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

With the help of generous individuals and groups, Loaves & Fishes is able to provide toys, Christmas, stockings, warm clothing, and hot meals to those who would otherwise go without this Christmas.

A very special event that we hold each year at Loaves & Fishes is our Maryhouse Christmas Brunch. During brunch, we are able to honor the women and families who visit Maryhouse, our daytime shelter for women and children. This year, volunteers and staff served a delicious hot meal to guests, and photographers from the community volunteered to take photographs of women and families. Our guests were then given photographs to keep, or share with loved ones.

Below is a gallery of photographs from this year’s Christmas Brunch. Special thanks to Gale Filter, Theodore Goodwin, and Doug Winter for volunteering their time and talent to Loaves & Fishes and our guests!

The post Christmas Brunch at Maryhouse appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

However, Loaves & Fishes cannot do this alone. Thanks to many generous groups throughout Sacramento, the Loaves & Fishes Breakfast Program is able to serve hearty, healthy lunches to the most vulnerable in our community.

This week, a group from PG&E came to Friendship Park to serve bananas, hard-boiled eggs, oatmeal, granola bars, and warm beverages to our guests.

To learn more about the Loaves & Fishes Breakfast Program, including how you can help, visit www.sacloaves.org/breakfast.

The post Breakfast in Friendship Park appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

For many experiencing homelessness, pets are their only companions. They are family. Pets provide companionship, safety, and the unconditional love that we all crave.

To help support homeless pets, make a donation at www.sacloaves.org/donate, or bring pet food directly to Loaves & Fishes at 1351 North C Street.

To read more about Anneke’s Haven and the importance of pets to many of those who are homeless, check out this article from the Sacramento News & Review:

https://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/homeless-sacramentans-experience-unexpected-benefits/content?oid=19434684

The post Welcome to Anneke's Haven appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

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Thanks to everyone who donated yesterday on Giving Tuesday we were able to almost double our goal and raise $19,087 in just 24 hours! That’s enough to provide the resources for 5,062 hot nutritious meals for homeless men, women, and children.

I can’t thank you enough, whether you donate, volunteer, or offer up prayers of encouragement. Together we are giving food, warmth, and a path home to some of Sacramento’s most vulnerable people.

P.S. If you missed out on Giving Tuesday it’s never to late to get involved. Go to www.sacloaves.org/donate and give today.

The post Giving Tuesday Success! appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Then head over to our GivingTuesday page and make a donation. If you give on Facebook before midnight your donation will be matched by Facebook. at https://www.facebook.com/donate/10209962542891626/

If you don’t use Facebook you can give directly on our website at www.sacloaves.org/tuesday

The post GivingTuesday Live AMA with Sister Libby appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

On Thanksgiving we gave gratitude for friends, family, and good fortune. Today, on Black Friday, I’m asking you to step up and become a Hunger Hero by creating a Giving Tuesday Fundraiser.

All donations made on Giving Tuesday, November 29th will be matched by Facebook, up to $1,000 per fundraiser.

Here’s how to participate:

• Go to www.facebook.com/loavesandfishes/fundraisers/ and click the Create a Fundraiser button today. Then just follow the easy steps.
• Once you’ve created your fundraiser be sure to share it with your friends.
• You can create the fundraiser anytime, just make sure it ends after Nov 29th to eligible for the matching funds.

We’ve got an ambitious goal to raise $10,000 in 24 hours. That’s enough for over 2,600 hot home-cooked meals for homeless men, women, and children.

Will you step up and be a Hunger Hero and start your fundraiser today?

P.S. Tune in for a live broadcast with Sister Libby on our Facebook page at 11:00am on November 29th for a special question and answer, where you can ask Sister Libby anything!

The post Be A Hunger Hero – Giving Tuesday appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

1.     Stop and say hello

o   Have a conversation. Show someone that you care. Ask how the person is doing; learn a little bit about him/her. It may seem simple, but to show that you care can make a world of difference.

2.    Carry a Care Kit in your car

o   Items in kit may include: granola bars, bottled water, a McDonald’s gift card, a pair of socks, travel-sized toiletries…

3.    Volunteer at a local nonprofit

o   Local organizations serving the homeless in our community include: Next Move, Wind Youth Services, Sacramento Loaves & Fishes, St. John’s Program for Real Change, Volunteers of America, Salvation Army. Information about volunteering is available on each organization’s website.

4.    Host a donation drive

o   Organize a donation drive at your workplace, school, or place of worship. To learn about what service providers need, call or check the provider’s website.

5.    Donate

o   Service providers are always accepting monetary donations to help support their programs. See contact information below for details:

–Loaves & Fishes: www.sacloaves.org/donate, or 637-2461

–Next Move: www.nextmovesacramento.org, or 454-2120

–Wind Youth Services: www.windyouth.org, or 561-4900

–Volunteers of America: https://www.voa-ncnn.org/sacramento, or 265-3400

–Salvation Army: http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/housing-and-homeless-services, or 448-0890

–St. John’s Program for Real Change: www.saintjohnsprogram.org, or 453-1482

…and many more!

Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones!

The post 5 Ways to Give Back This Holiday Season appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Rick has been coming to Loaves and Fishes: Friendship Park for quite some time.  He is a well known guest in the park and has made friends with not only the staff but, the volunteers as well.

He is usually found in the library in the morning and in the park in the afternoon. He is always recognized by his laugh; even if he’s behind you. He is constantly laughing, making jokes, teasing people, and making other people laugh.

Don’t miss out on the chance to meet Rick Herrera.

The post An Interview With a Well Known Guest appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

Israel started coming for a full day in June 2016. “When Jessica called me over, she showed me more on Ahern Dr. and I got to know more about the park. I started coming on June 18, 2016.” Israel likes to hang out with friends and the Green Hats (Staff Members) because “it’s funner.”

When I asked him about his favorite things to do in the park he said, “I love playing BINGO and I’ve won a few times. I also like helping the Green Hats with different things like passing out water or sack lunches and helping with ice.” 

The post "I like helping the Green Hats" appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

“I’ve been coming to Friendship Park since I was 21 so that’s 1998, but it’s been off and on. Sometimes I’d have a home and then not…” said Jessica

“Yeah, I’ve been coming since 2001 so that’s 15 years,” stated Felipe.

They come to get coffee and breakfast in the morning, lunch tickets; Felipe can get a shower, and they like to talk to their friends in the park. But their favorite part about Friendship Park is coming to see the staff members, and they like making people laugh.

“I always make people laugh so they don’t cry,” added Jessica.

Felipe commented, “I like coming to play BINGO, fill out my football pool, (and hopefully win) and see the staff members.

Jessica and Felipe are seen almost every day at Friendship Park and we are so glad they’re here to spend time with our guests who could really use a laugh and a smile. We look forward to seeing them every day bright and early for coffee and breakfast.

The post Guests Creating Smiles at Friendship Park appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

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The local Little Caesars staff who came to prepare the pies were so full of energy and enthusiasm and truly brought joy to everyone. The resources for the meal are generously provided by local franchisees!

Huge shout out to Little Caesars Love Kitchen and our local Little Caesars locations!

The post Little Caesars Pizza Day appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

What is the Loaves & Fishes Foot Clinic?

“The foot clinic is an event that happens once a month at Loaves & Fishes. Volunteers and I set up stations in the park where we do basic foot washing, clip toenails, and scrub dry skin from people’s feet. When the cleaning is done, we apply lotion and provide a new pair of socks.

I do the foot clinic because I think it is a nice gesture to do for people. Some may not think that it is a necessity, but a lot of the guests that we see are on their feet every day, walking miles a day, and their feet are not cared for. It is not a service that is provided in many places, and it is kind of a forgotten need for people. It’s a nice thing to do; people really appreciate it.

One other thing that’s nice about it, something I think about, is that a lot of our guests are very lonely. Some do not get a lot of positive touch, so for a lot of our guests having their feet washed is possibly the only physical touch they’re going to get all day or month, and I think that this small gesture makes a difference.”

-Annie Church, Community Service Director at Loaves & Fishes

The post "It's a nice thing to do." appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

District 1: Phil Serna: (916) 874-5485

District 2: Patrick Kennedy: (916) 874-5481

District 3: Susan Peters: (916) 874-5471

District 4: Roberta MacGlashan: (916) 874-5491

District 5: Don Nottoli: (916) 874-5465

Mustard Seed School at Loaves & Fishes is an emergency school for homeless children ranging in age from preschool through eighth grade. Some of its students are lucky enough to be staying in emergency shelters but others have been turned away for lack of space. Last week 26 of the 60 children attending Mustard Seed were camping outside or staying in cars with their families. Maryhouse, Loaves & Fishes daytime resource center for homeless women and families, also reports mothers with infants and toddlers are unable to find safe shelter.  Homelessness is devastating to families, especially the children. Can Sacramento County not provide even the bare minimum of shelter for them?

Mustard Seed Director Casey Knittel states, “This is the first time I’ve seen so many children in cars. It’s heartbreaking to see them leave us at the end of the day not knowing if they’ll find a safe place to stay that night.”

The post Children sleeping outside: we need shelter. appeared first on Loaves & Fishes.

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Both lobbies– downstairs and upstairs–are full of women, some waiting for showers, some waiting to talk to a Maryhouse staff member, and others simply relaxing, enjoying a safe space to pause and rest in the morning.

As I stand at the counter I notice Evelyn* with her two-year old son Dee* standing around the corner. Dee has a bottle tilted up to his mouth, spilling most of its contents down the front of his shirt. “We’re working on that,” she laughs, and reaches onto the counter to grab him a cup instead. “He’s better with cups,” she says.

As we continue talking, another woman walks into the lobby, pulling her children in a two-seated red wagon.

“Baby, ” Dee points.

Evelyn laughs “He thinks he’s a lot bigger than he is. Kids can be the same age or older than him, and he’ll point and say ‘baby’. I thought he was going to be jealous when his little brother came around, but no way. He loves babies. He loves taking care of them.”

As she was telling me this, Dee ran straight over to the wagon and climbed right in the middle of the other little boys. He made himself right at home in that wagon, and the other little boys didn’t seem to mind another addition to their vehicle.

“Look, he’s trying to feed the baby,” Evelyn said as Dee held his cup up to the other boy’s mouth.

It was an adorable sight, and I can only hope that each of these boys has a safe place to call home for the night…

*Names changed

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“I had been driving trucks for years, until I got this last heart attack. It was a good job–lonely sometimes, but it paid the bills. Ever since my last attack, I can’t do it anymore. It’s too dangerous. I’m looking for something else but, for now, I’m back out here.”

–John at Friendship Park, Loaves & Fishes

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Today is my last day at Maryhouse. I first came here in 2008 as a volunteer and then had the honor of serving as Director the last 5 years. I didn’t know much about Maryhouse or Loaves and Fishes when I first came, but I knew I was somehow called to be here.

I’ve heard hundreds, probably thousands of stories during my time on North C Street and listening has been the most important part of my job. The women and children who come to Maryhouse demonstrate both bravery and vulnerability as they reveal their stories of tragedy and triumph. It has been an honor to sit alongside our guests and provide the presence and compassion that they deserve. I’ve always thought of these conversations as Sacred Space and they have changed me in a profound way.

During my time at Maryhouse I have witnessed moments of sorrow, joy, and beauty. I have witnessed the resilience of women facing and overcoming violence, trauma, and loss. I have witnessed the strength of mothers fighting with blood, sweat, and tears to shelter their  families. I have witnessed the funny faces that babies make when their mothers feed them oatmeal. I have witnessed smiles of gratitude and faces filled with hope.

With these experiences I have felt every emotion possible. I have felt frustration that there aren’t enough services for those that are homeless and in poverty. I’ve felt anger that there are children sleeping on the streets of Sacramento each night because our community fails when it comes to providing adequate emergency shelter. I have felt joy at the news of a woman getting keys to her own apartment after years of chronic homelessness. I have felt comfort from a guest who noticed I wasn’t feeling well and offered me a hug.

So it is with bittersweet sentiment that I say goodbye to Maryhouse. To our guests, staff, and volunteers…I treasure the stories we have shared and you have forever touched my soul.

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“Katt we’re capturing stories about North C Street, is there a story you would like to share?”

She adjusted her cross-legged position & took a long drag of her cigarette, “No, I mean where do you even begin? Too many stories. Too many years. Too much.”

“Well, what about your favorite part about Maryhouse? Would you like to share that?”

“Oh man. Okay. Well, I like drinking coffee here. I drink way too much coffee every morning & I get all shaky & you & Shannon give me granola bars & always make sure I eat breakfast to get rid of my shakes. Every day. Always asking me if I have had breakfast.”

She lifted her hands to show me if they were shaking, as she knows I ask her every day how she’s feeling. “See, no shakes today. Only four cups so far!”

“Well we just want to make sure you’re okay & you get enough to eat.”

“I know, I know. You guys really take care of me here here. I really love you guys a lot.”

She sat for a moment, looked up, smiled from ear to ear, “And I know you love me too because you always give me coffee & feed me breakfast.”

We sat for a moment as she sipped her coffee.

“And, any time I say I love you, you always say it back. Because that’s what you do when you love someone.”

She’s right. She is so loved.

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On Friday all I wanted was to get home. I was tired and as I packed up my things I was a little grateful that the street would be so quiet that I could just walk to my car and drive off without incident.

What I should know by now, nearly 3 years into employment on North C Street, is that if you ever think something will be incident free, you are wrong.

I opened my car door and heard, “Hey! Hey! You! Hey!”

It was a familiar voice, Alicia. I just love Alicia, she’s funny and she’s beautiful and, she is living with severe mental illness.

Alicia walks up and down North C Street every day in layers of clothing that are so incredibly dirty. Alicia has not showered in months and it’s obvious. Alicia can’t hold a linear conversation for too long without talking to people I can’t see or cursing about something.

“Hey, Alicia. What’s up?”

“Is my son in there?”

“In where? In Maryhouse?”

“Shut up! Are you open? I need to go in there.”

“No, my dear, we close at 2:45.”

“Well, what the $#&* time is it?”

“It’ 5 o’clock, we haven’t been open in quite a bit. Your son isn’t in Maryhouse, I was the last one in the building.”

“I told him to wait for me. I told him I would be right back.”

“I’m sorry, Alicia.”

She was holding cheap smokes, her nails were black underneath. She would scratch her head and look right through me as I spoke.

She walked off cursing at someone or something.

We know part of Alicia’s story but even more, we know her.

We care about her and these moments are so hard but we try to find glimmers of beauty in the dark.

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“Okay ladies! Here we go, it’s that time.”

“Ohhhhh maaaaaaaan! Again? Alright, alright.”

Ladies who’ve made themselves at home on benches throughout our back patio space get up slowly, the way my grandmother did, grunting and groggy from relaxation. Their arms bend slower than usual, they are weary from the life that ages them, life outside.

Tracy scrambles to pack her things up, really she is just making a mess. We go through this every day.

“Tracy, you gotta be kidding me. You know what time we close, what are you doing?” I laugh to lighten the mood but inside I am impatient and frustrated. It’s true every day she is the last one to leave but the first one I tell to grab her stuff. Tracy struggles with alcohol and other drugs, she lives with mental illness.

B is talking to herself in sentences that make no sense to me but she bops her head back and forth, waves her hand about, pulls her pants up over her behind and tries to pack her things. Today a co-worker notices that her belly is a little bigger than usual. She seems to be pregnant, she is in the grips of addiction, she lives with mental illness and now she seems to be pregnant. Our hearts break as we know that the way this happened was likely traumatic.

“Nah girl, that’s my bike.” Ashley giggles, she knows her bike should not be where she stowed it, we don’t have the space for it but she doesn’t have the money to buy a lock.

“Ashley, you break these rules all the time and I can’t help but smile at you, what’s up with that?”

“It’s because I’m so cute and you love me. “ She’s right.

R walks out with her 10 month old baby, the light of my day. “Okay, but wait, Shannon, before I go can you tell me if the shelter will let me other kids in too?”

I ask her to come see me tomorrow for more of a talk. I take her son, into my arms and squeeze him tight, we scream little screams together, he steals my glasses off of my face and I tell him he’s just the best and I love him.

Out the back gate they all go. 10 months old to 50+, they wander into the afternoon which turns into the dark and lonely night.

I hope with all my might that they come back tomorrow.

This is often the hardest part of our work at Maryhouse, harnessing hope when it seems often like there just isn’t enough to go around.

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This was beyond flattering.

At a glance, I’m absolutely amazed at the sheer volume of homeless folks are served. But where Sacramento seems to fall short with resources and housing, there’s no shortage of kindness and hospitality at Loaves and Fishes. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to join this amazing team and serve guests at Maryhouse.

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On most days at Maryhouse, my daily tasks consist of your usual front desk activities – answering phone calls, welcoming and informing new guests of the services we provide, maintaining the front lobby, and what most people would find to be tedious work – filing mail for approximately 600 women (correct me if that amount is incorrect). Filing that amount of mail can be overwhelming to some, but it’s when you get to be the person that hands over the mail to a guest that makes it ALL WORTH IT. 

On most days, I often here “mail check please” and without hesitation I respond “last name?”. This position has afforded me the blessing of learning each guests’ name very quickly, where I don’t even need to ask their name because with one glance or the sound of their voice, I already know who I’m digging through the files for. Today though, I dug through the files for a woman who was impatiently waiting for a very important, high priority piece of mail. It had been her third day in a row at my desk praying it would finally be in the file waiting for her. Today, there it was. With such pleasure I handed over a DMV envelope with her name on it, and said “would this be what you’ve been waiting for?” In a moments time, tears came to her eyes, she bowed her head down with such relief, covering her face with her hands to hide the joyous tears rolling down her cheeks. Caught up in the moment she could barely speak.

I want you to take a moment and reflect back to the day you turned 15, maybe 17, and on that day you knew you were about to take on the world no longer as a teenager, but as an adult because you hold your very first license.

Most days I hand over the mail, and hear the dull voices repeating “ugh bills, bills, bills” or when there is no mail to hand over its often “well, I guess no news is good news”. Caught off guard in this moment with a woman crying over a piece of mail, all I could think is “thank god, my co worker is standing next to me because I’m not sure how to react, I’ve never had someone cry when I handed them their mail.”  I learned an ID had much more power than I had ever thought before.  She stared at her ID with such joy, she was speechless.

My days at Maryhouse remind me how often an ID is needed and unfortunately, how often an ID is stolen. An ID for me at 17 meant freedom from my parents, an ID for our guests of all ages means an approved housing application, another piece to a job application completed, a way to get bus tickets, a way into a shelter, a means to claim their paycheck, proof of their legal name and birthday, to keep a car, to go to school, to receive social services, and a sense of identity. She came back the next day to apologize for her previous tears, stating “I’m so sorry, I was just so happy that ID means I can start my life again.”

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Rosemary, our dedicated volunteer, glides through the lobby singing that it’s time for the weekly BINGO game. Today, she is a whole day early so it’s a surprise to the ladies. Today they thought they’d have another day of conversing with each other, sitting or sleeping in comfort, waiting for our doors to close.

“What? It’s Thursday? We get BINGO on Thursday? Here I come.”

“I want in!”

“Wait for me!”

Our guests hurry to gather their belongings and head out to the back patio where the game takes place. Begging for the game to wait just another minute until they can reach the table.

Once outside, they mark their number. They talk about the week. They laugh, they lament and they just are.

“BINGO!”

These glimmers of normalcy are priceless, for all of us.

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I walked out of the office into the lobby to Sue standing in the doorway, wearing her long blue coat, her blonde hair combed to perfection, all while grinning from ear to ear. Sue was one of the first intakes I completed upon starting at Maryhouse and her genuine nature and kind heart were difficult to forget.

“Kansas! Oh, girl! Would you just look at me? How good do I look? This is what twenty pounds down looks like! Don’t I look good?”

Sue wrapped her arms around my neck and held on for a while. She kissed my forehead, pushed me back with her hands steady on my shoulders while looking at me through her crooked, gold framed reading glasses.

“You look great, Sue! Are you taking care of yourself though?”

With a mischievous grin she responded, “Absolutely! It’s called the homelessness diet. You just walk miles and miles to get to every appointment & you eat one meal a day. It does the body good; kind of like Wheaties!” Sue laughed hysterically as one hand remained on my shoulder as she doubled over in laughter.

“Sue!” I responded with laughter, “Only you could find humor in all of this!”

“Yep, it’s how we all survive around here. I’m still breathing right? And guess what?” She promptly put both hands on her hips, “Now, I even look good doing it!”

Sometimes, even the most difficult moments in this work call for a good laugh. Sue is our reminder of that.

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Her name is Donna. 25 years ago she was homeless and she’d say, hopeless but by what she calls a miracle, she found “Fishes and Loaves”. She walked onto the campus of Loaves and Fishes broken on the inside from emotional abuse, dirty on the outside from sleeping on the bare earth and longing for a place to call home. It was a long road for Donna, she got clean and relapsed, she refused to wear shoes, she refused help, over and over for years until the day she was ready to start taking small steps. Until the staff and volunteers earned her trust.

Donna used Maryhouse services regularly, she built relationships and she is on the journey of restoration. Five years ago, the staff who’d earned a space to listen and speak into her life, urged her to consider taking a permanent bed at Sister Nora’s Place, an on campus housing program so, she did and found it to be match. Shortly after her move in another offer was made by Sister Libby, residential gardener so, Donna went for it.

Having no experience in gardening Donna struggled until she flourished along side her plants.

Today Donna tends to each plant as if it were her child. She nurtures their grown from seed to bloom. Donna, with her presence and patience for plants, maintains beauty in a space that can often feel so chaotic. We are all so grateful for her labor of love.

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“Good morning, how are you?”

“I’m blessed. Very blessed.”

More often than not this is the response from our women as they enter our back patio gate every morning. They are often pushing squeaky carts with shaky wheels, overflowing baby strollers filled with all that they own, or tattered and torn suitcases that have seen better days.

One by one I wish them good morning, trying my best to remember each and every guest’s name, looking them in the eye as they beam with excitement when they are called.

“Good morning, Kathleen. It’s good to see you.”

“Hey now, it’s always good to be seen!”

At this back gate every morning I am met with genuine smiles, with optimism that another day has come and strength that seems so effortless. But these women are coming in after long, cold, sleepless nights. It is not often that they have a night of sleep where they do not get woken up and asked to move by police officers or property owners. Or, a night in which they feel safe enough to even fall asleep at all for fear that may be physically or sexually assaulted.

Nevertheless, these women come in every morning, day after day, feeling blessed. Feeling gratitude for being seen for who they are despite experiencing nights many of us know nothing of. They are mothers, grandmothers, daughters, sisters and nieces, and homelessness does not define them.

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She was panting and sweating. She was out of breath as she was smiling.

I saw her then I saw a baby. His skin so beautiful and clean, his demeanor so calm. I looked up and she said, “I’ve never walked so fast, I’m glad you’re here.”

I regretted my frustration immediately and wept the happiest tears while I took the baby from her arms. I remember him in her belly, from the time she shared with me that she had made him with a man she didn’t want to be with. Together we discussed her options when there was really only ever one; to have him and to love him.

She lived outside at night and in our lounge during the day. We counted the days and weeks and months until she hit month seven of nurturing him in her body. For homeless women month seven means eligibility for a maternity home. Everyday I called to ask if a bed was open and for three weeks, “We’re full.” On a Thursday morning the worker on the other line told me a couch was open and She could have it until a bed opened up. I agreed to send her via taxi by 11 am, “I promise, she will be there.”

Off I ran to find her eating breakfast in our dining room, “A couch is ready for you, let’s pack!”

Together we sorted her things and waited for a cab. I loaded her things and hugged her, I wished her well and knew I may never see her again.

Until…

Sweaty and panting she handed me her baby.

This is what we do at Maryhouse. We love and we listen and sometimes we have the privilege of seeing the outcome.

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My walk past the water cooler in the Maryhouse lobby happens often as the door right next to the cooler leads me to the coffee. Today was like any other day, the lobby was full which means babies laughing or crying, women shouting or talking. The phone was ringing mail was being checked and I needed more coffee.

As I walked past the cooler I saw one of my favorite guests standing right next to it, looking forward, her head was tilted and she was smiling, her one front tooth stuck out under her upper lip. She is wearing a beanie, a very dirty dress and construction boots.

“Hi Rachel, how are you?”

“Why won’t she give me her baby?”

This was a surprising response and I needed more coffee so I wasn’t thinking about Rachel’s history when I said, “Well, because that baby is hers. She loves her baby and would miss her if she were gone. You wouldn’t want to give up your baby would you?”

Rachel was looking at the baby adoringly until I asked that question. It’s likely the question that reminded her that she once had children but the severity of her mental health symptoms prevented her from caring for them so, they were taken. She didn’t want to give up her babies, but she did.

“I had babies, they graduated high school now. Maybe college. They are nice. I had babies…”

She then looked at the mother holding her infant.

“Can I have your baby? Can I just hold your baby?”

The mother looked at her, shook her head no and Rachel looked back at me.

“I’m sorry, Rachel.”

Rachel then walked off, garbage bag over her shoulder, dirty and sad.

This is not the usual water cooler talk. It’s not the kind of casual conversation most people are used to however, here at Maryhouse, where we strive to make every moment safe and sacred, people share the deepest longings of their hearts. Women lament the loss of their children, their struggles with addiction. Women cry out about being assaulted. Women struggle, honestly and hope for a better future. Water cooler talk at Maryhouse is startling and it’s real.

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I continued with the thought that today was going to be hard and sent good vibes toward the kitchen hoping there was fresh coffee so that I could face the day humbly, openly, honestly and enthusiastically.

Coffee in hand I continued the morning at my desk relatively incident free with small moments of congratulations or comment about today being a notable day for me. I put out mini fires and answered emails but I still sat in this feeling that the day was going to be “interesting.”

My feelings made me prepare for the worst but what happened instead was this:

Linda, the sweetest 50-something year old woman who suffers from auditory hallucinations regularly was welcomed back to Maryhouse after having to take a break for behavioral issues. Linda can often be found on our back patio screaming at the top of her lungs about the children she lost in a traumatic incident that she cannot articulate. She yells loudly and aggressively at the voices that taunt her, she can’t help it. Linda suffers. Linda suffers every day at nearly every moment and she does so outside, alone and cold.

But TODAY!

She walked in the doors, she smiled and said, “Heeeeeey girl! I’m here! Thank you!” As she thanked me she pointed in my direction and I felt what she must have, love and appreciation.

Maryhouse is a home during the day to women and children who are forced to endure the traumatic experiences of being homeless and for that reason every day is indeed interesting. How dare I think it would be anything but beautifully so. It was. It was because of Linda and all the other women like her who find rest in our doors. I’m excited for tomorrow.

All the best,

Shannon

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To celebrate 30 years, we will share stories of Maryhouse each day in September: 30 days of Maryhouse Moments. We hope that these stories may help to illuminate what Maryhouse is all about, and how important this program has been in the lives of so many women these past 30 years.

Inspirational  messages such as this decorate the bathroom mirrors in Maryhouse.

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I recently spent the day at Mustard Seed School. Mustard Seed School, a program of Loaves & Fishes, is a school for children currently experiencing homelessness in Sacramento.

After eating lunch in the preschool room, one of the children was eager to help with the dishes. “When I had a home,” she said, “it was my job to help my mom with the dishes. My brother would come in and make a big mess, and I would always help her clean it up.”

The conversation went on as she continued to scrub the the plates and cups, handing them over to me to rinse and dry. The little girl talked about her crazy brother, and I agreed that brothers can be very crazy. In the back of my mind, however, I could not stop thinking about the first thing she said.

This little girl is six years-old, and misses doing dishes in her home.

When we think about homelessness, we likely conjure images in our mind of what homelessness looks like. We create specific characters, and wonder what decisions they made in their lives that have led them to this place. We do not think of the thousands of children who have found themselves in this situation, who understand little about what it means or why they, unlike other children, do not have a home.

The truth is that homelessness is hidden everywhere. To learn more about Mustard Seed School, visit www.sacloaves.org/mustardseed.

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