Locomotion

She greets with anger

2025-06-04T09:01:00.003-05:00

She greets with anger

-as she's drowning in despair

and she wonders

where you are

or if you are

(she really doesn't know)

she cannot see all the way

or hear your call, so

she calls and calls and screams

and then you arrive

and calm the chaos

for a moment--

a magistral ministry

the truth is-

I do the same

and we are to blame

and

in this stupid game

we will win

and lose

together.

Where we connect

2025-06-04T08:30:00.002-05:00

Not here
in this space
(where all are watching)

too hard to feel too many things

(too many people) to please

silence my solace, rage yours

forgone fantasies abhorring abandonment--

We connect in the dust swirling above

spinning through space and time

Where, we are not wearing armor, or carrying weapons,

we are not keepers of wounds and injuries,

We are just two little girls chasing bugs at a water's edge.

Breakdown

2022-01-04T17:12:00.000-05:00

Descending the treacherous stairway in the dark,

following the weary bouncing beam of light leading the way,

my senses begin to process.

My eyes adjust to the pulsating hues of blue and purple

as my ears willingly absorb the glorious blaring,

and I catch a whiff

of that sweet long ago herb.

The energy of the masses imbibe and

I am exhilarated and reminded.

Why did I ever stop coming here?

I cannot fathom a reasonable answer,

but it is different this time.

I have my oldest with me, and this is his initiation

of sorts into a world that I have kept from him in his tender years.

I try to explain to him what he can expect to see and hear,

but it is useless.

It's meant to be felt,

and it is different for us all.

Breakdown, go ahead and give it to me...

The lights explode, the crowd thunders and jumps to their feet

scream-singing the lyrics with love and loyalty

as they dance and clap.

We are one writhing organism moving

in perfect harmony. For a moment

I imagine how this all must look through the eyes

of the preteen standing next to me,

but I am dissolved into the nostalgia embedded in my psyche

that the music awakens.

Visions of girls driving a convertible mustang

looking for fun and trouble fill my mind.

All of who I am in the moment is stripped away

and I stand there naked and adoring,

and that's when it happens.

Breakdown, honey take me through the night...

Finding that moment in the perfect familiar song

where words veer off to the left and to the right

seemingly on a path that only our energy will forge.

The hypnotic syllables flow from his lips

and we repeat them in perfect unison as if rehearsed,

but they are not.

Bringing us up and down,

over and through the vibe he is feeling

until we are feeling it too.

Then we become primal

as they pound their instruments into oblivion,

and all you feel is bliss.

Breakdown, now I'm standing here can't you see...

Coming down off the high,

a new journey begins.

The train slowly leaves the station

and we head to unknown territory.

The only choice is to sit back

and enjoy the ride.

Wheels chugging along

as we gaze out the window

and see a new frontier speeding by.

New words and music that will bore their way deep

into our minds to settle and awaken the next time.

Breakdown, it's all right...

As the houselights flood the arena,

the dream disappears, I look at my son, and ask him,

"So did you like it?"

Yea... it's all right.. ;)

(RIP Tom Petty xo)

The Argument

2021-08-09T10:45:00.001-05:00

It doesn’t make sense.

The words said and the deeds done…

not matching.. they should make sense.

We believe what we (want to) see, or hear…to

a point…

and then we don’t.

And we realize.

Oh.

Manipulation is afoot.

And when we are besotted

with our wonton truth,

or maybe our hopeful prayer,

we can’t see that the actual answers are right here.

In the palm of your hand.

Right now.

(There’s a footnote to these words.

Good luck finding it.)

We are not on different pages. We are just in different places.

Ground yourself and FLY

The Wheel is(not) Broken

2019-07-21T07:05:00.002-05:00

The wheel is broken!

The little girl said to her mother
trying to convince her to wrench the toy away
from her little sister's hand
in exchange for the one in her own,
with the offensive wheel.

The wheel is broken!

Her brain does not allow her
to say more than these words,
even though there is an ocean of emotion
inside that needs release.

The wheel is broken!

Prompting her mother to begin prompting...
Ready made questions.
Ready made answers.
How many times do we say things?

The wheel is broken!

The words "developmental" and "delay"
have finally arrived in the same sentence,
but "pervasive" has yet to make an appearance.
Eluding to the illusion.

The wheel is broken!

The room is still,
unsure of how to react
as this display is often hidden
beneath scripts
and cues
designed to disguise.
Nervous laughter unnerves the mother
trying so hard to contain her pain.

The wheel is broken!

Her volume increasing
as she struggles to find her way
through the labyrinth that she can only navigate
with a singular turn of a single phrase.
She has no others waiting on deck
when this one strikes out.

The wheel is broken!

All she wants is her sister's toy.
She doesn't understand it's not her birthday,
she doesn't understand her two year old sister cannot share,
she doesn't understand she is breaking all of her rules,
she's just a desperate little girl trying to say so much
with so little.

The wheel is broken!

No love, the wheel is not broken.....

___________________________

I wrote this 8 years ago about a beautiful little girl with autism.

Capture

2018-10-18T09:13:00.002-05:00

The crack of the wood
A gasp.

Will it sail over

the fence
of a little boy's dream?

YES! It will.

Elation fills my heart
knowing that he has surpassed his dream
the bases were loaded

making this truly a grand slam.

I am lost in my happiness,
my adoration, drunk on

the wonder of the world….

And then,
mom…

mom… MOM…

His hand is shaking and panic shines from his eyes.

It’s happening.

Again.

Right.

Now.

In this amazing moment in time.
Mysterious forces are bouncing around his brain
causing his senses to betray him
and his life interrupted.

A gasp.

followed by a sigh,
balancing two world simultaneously
in chaos.

How is that even possible?
Aren’t we in the same place?
Apparently not.

Greatness and catastrophe battle
for their place in the sun,

Demanding a captured audience.

Just a Quip

2018-01-27T18:33:00.000-05:00

I wind the tresses in place,
and secure them away from my face
and I see him standing at my knee, pointing,

“Mommy?”

Bending down to meet the little arm reaching,
he plucks the clip out of my hair.

He puts it on his wrist and talks into it
pretending to be a Power Ranger or
whatever is holding his fancy for a moment
and runs away, happily.

I smile at his smile
and go about my day,

a slow burn of irritation grabs hold,
fueled by the hair stringing in my face.

“Where’s that damn clip?”

I tuck it behind my ears,
I try to tie it into a knot,
I cannot contain my mane and
I am too busy to look for another clip.

I finally find another
and he finds me.

“Mommy?”

He says and points to the clip.

I point to his wrist to show him he has one,
but then I see it has disappeared,

I acquiesce, and bend down to meet the little arm reaching,

“here.”

I smile at his smile and go about my day.

Now, my locks are wilder than before and
the anger is rising and
I scream in my head,

WITH ALL THE TOYS HE HAS
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO USE MY CLIPS?
I NEED THEM!WHY DOES HE TAKE THEM?
AHHHH……… but wait….

that blessed time of day is here,

nap time.

I lay him down and kiss his head,
pull back the covers and reveal his treasure.

“Mommy’s kwips for her hair”

And there, like a group of cowering prisoners,
are my clips he has collected from me all morning,

and I smile at his smile.

ARE

2014-08-08T09:32:00.001-05:00

Quiet contemplation,

Circling through my mind.

Lost infatuation,

From another time.

Wondering why it took so long to get here,

And what became so lost,

How to find a peaceful center,

And what would be the cost?

A sunbeam finds my cheek in the breath of the sea,

And in that timeless moment,

I found me.

Ashley Batz

ladybug

2013-08-05T09:27:00.003-05:00

I watched a ladybug in the grass.
She climbs up one blade
until it bends from her weight
then drops down into the earth
fluttering a bit,
then climbs up another.

Arduously travailing each and every blade of grass
perhaps looking for a smoother pathway,
continuing her journey nonetheless.

And I thought
maybe I should
keep the grass
shorter
so it wouldn't be
so hard for her
to travel

'And deprive her of her journey?'
was the message I received

Then it dawned on me.
Ladybugs have wings.
So why not fly?
Why brave each and every blade of grass?

'Because when you are walking, you are not flying,
and when you are flying you are not walking
and there is need for both.' I heard in the wind.

The ladybug eventually made it to a chair in the yard
and speedily climbed up its leg.

Finally a destination.

But she got tangled in a web
and dropped back to the ground
escaping the spider's trap
and continued her journey in the grass.

Photo by Martin Oslic on Unsplash

sliver

2012-07-02T09:13:00.000-05:00

Randomly racing toward
and away,
excited breath
stumbling in and out
of lungs unready,
not sure where to go first
to devour its purity and beauty,
an impossible feat.

Longing for more
of what lies ahead,
driven by the fear of
it slipping away,
needing to consume all
with eyes and ears and nose and skin,
and all it will ever offer you
is a sliver.

Photo by Zwaddi on Unsplash

Swan Song

2012-04-23T18:27:00.003-05:00

Feathers in the brush-
Purity swallowed by truth
Leaving us nothing.

Photo by David Cohen on Unsplash

still

2012-04-21T18:18:00.002-05:00

Stilling breath and muscle
as the world moves about,
barring its intrusion,
holding fast, still

Waiting for thoughts and mind
to center spirit, quiet fear,
as flesh turns to stone.

Forced to move
by tumultuous earth,
liquefying in its core,
exploding into the sky
again waiting to solidify,
to be still.

Colin Rex

chasm

2012-04-19T18:02:00.005-05:00

I encroach the boundary and stand at its precipice,
I see all the elements I've used to widen the gap.

Beauty, wit, intelligence, kindness, connection, carnal knowledge,
All blend together at the bottom of the murky pond

Is not one of them genuine?

I long to leap from my place on the crest,
but I cannot distinguish what is real anymore.

A ghost whose substance floats below

I turn away carrying my arsenal of lies
and I run to free them,

Knowing I must make them true.

Friday

2011-04-12T08:33:00.001-05:00

Waiting for Friday,
that's what I do,

on Tuesday
and Wednesday
and Thursday.

I distract myself
with my computer,
the TV, my phone, books, food,
anything that will hold
me from one moment to the next,
until it's time

to get up
take a shower
get dressed
drive to work.

I'm exhausted,
not because of work,
or the house, or the kids

but because of the wondering...

What is it like to follow the dream?

The wisp of smoke that taunts me so?

Letting possibility roll around my mind
leading me here and there
to see where
it will take me
and how it will manifest
through me.

What is that like?

I can only wonder.
And wonder I do,
time and time again,
right before I stuff it all away
in the box reserved to hold such thoughts
that may only come out
on Friday.

( )

2010-08-02T13:25:00.001-05:00

i talk to no one
and no one listens,
i tell them my hopes and fears
my dreams and truths
and they respond as
silently
as the voice searching
for a whisper.

rise

2010-04-23T18:09:00.001-05:00

i expect you to rise...

to the occasion

to meet me above the stoic horizon

and blaze with me across the sky

i expect you to rise...

above the pain we drag with us

through our everyday

and pull me up to the loving place you are

i expect you to rise...

from the depth of self doubt

and embrace all that I am,

letting me embrace you too

i expect you to rise...

Exposure

2010-04-16T10:09:00.002-05:00

Each exquisitely paring
back a little further

Audacious wrenching
of a delicate layer,
from calloused beliefs
grown over ancient pain
wrapped in self doubt
with blistering uncertainty

Foolishly guarding what
begs revelation
until there is nothing left
but a blood-soaked beating heart

and silence.

sun

2010-04-12T06:26:00.006-05:00

It beckons
from a distant past
drawing me into
its haunting horizon,

Besotted with its glow
and light and heat,
further and further I drift
until I can no longer
see the shore,

I look around
for the heavenly beacon
and find it looming above,
never to be felt
never to be joined,

its shining hope
is all I will ever have

*photo by T.R.

Promise

2010-03-14T10:25:00.007-05:00

Hope's accord lingers
Withered bones and memories-
Fruit of a new dawn

photo by T.R.
(thank you so very much)

spring indeed

2010-03-09T10:03:00.003-05:00

Skin splitting off static
skeletons, falling off weary
muscle, puddling
at worn feet

setting free

a mind
a heart
a spirit
a soul

soaring over trees

bounding through brooks
circling mountains
wafting above meadows
singing and dancing

celebrating life.

better man

2010-01-06T21:19:00.001-05:00

It is not the swell of my breast,
the scent of my skin, or the curve of my hip
that will make you a better man.

It is not the touch of my lips,
the silk in my hair, or the nape of my neck
that will make you a better man.

It is the passion in my heart,
the soul in my eyes
gazing into yours,
and seeing the truth
that will make you a better man.

It is the whispering words
unearthing the secrets,
easing the pain in your mind
that will make you a better man.

It is the way you ignite the flame,
tend the roar, and sate the yearn
that makes me a better woman.

onlyway

2010-01-06T21:13:00.002-05:00

Tending this and that
perhaps looking for god
or the devil in cracks and crevices,
praying a clue reveals,

I hear the past in my mind.
A faded picture show
barely holding my attention anymore.
Did I live that life?

Time can stretch a memory so thin,
that its precious intentions
are brutally birthed
into the unyielding atmosphere,
its gold-gathering tarnish
the only sign of their unwontedness.

Meaning holds no meaning,
it only wedges a splinter
in the milky white flesh of a foot
reminding it exists for existence sake.
A moment of contrast creating
the illusion of truth.

It is the only way.

longing

2010-01-04T21:12:00.001-05:00

Click photo to enlarge...

Photo by Beauxxxxxxx...

(thank you, love)

shadows

2010-01-01T00:15:00.000-05:00

i see them everywhere

behind the smiling eyes of a stranger
in the distance beyond the borders
of my hope
in the reflection of my mirror,

i see them.

they are the dark places
where despair hides and
sadness lingers

a venerate hell

2009-04-10T18:13:00.006-05:00

Peering out from behind the wall,
hoping to see see a glimpse of the why,
it should be torn from this earth stone by stone
and tossed aside awry.

It took a long time to find those stones
born from the pain too heavy to hold,
it needed to go somewhere, and why not
around and around and around
barricading and creating the solitude
i long to loathe?

Bloody fingers pushing unmoving rock
as if it were clay or mud filling in crevices,
so foolish to think one can mold rock
with flesh and bone and even more
foolish to believe it done.

Foolishness still to believe i can hide,
away from the sun and feel it on my face
at the same time.

Seen and unseen with constant fleeting impossible possibility.

Am i even here at all?