Logic is Optional

Logic is Also Subjective

2011-01-14T15:33:00.000-06:00

My mother used to say that the best thing about having 3 teenagers at home despite the fact that the grocery bill was through the roof because of them was that no matter what, when she and my dad came home with food, there were 3 eager helpers to put food away. It's not that we were so eager to be helpful of course. No, we just wanted to see what they got and plan how we were going to keep the

How My Snow Blower Got a Name

2011-01-07T15:32:00.001-06:00

I am not in the habit of naming inanimate objects like cars or power tools. Once when I was 11, I did name an orthodontic appliance "Reggie" but that was an aberration. A lot of people name their cars. My mother, for example, while working for the federal government (as a boring, old loan officer, not the FBI or anything) named every one of her G-cars. There was an Emmy (green car, short for

How to Mortify Your Children

2010-12-17T15:34:00.001-06:00

So not the 60's... Once upon a time in a decade not nearly so close to the ancient 60's as my children would believe, I was a basketball player. And like most adolescent basketball players, my parents would come to the game to cheer me on. I had one parent, however, who thought it was acceptable behavior to SCREAM at the referees for every call he felt was made incorrectly. In fact, to say that

Kitty Paparazzi

2010-12-13T12:00:00.000-06:00

Look, I'm just trying to relax here, okay? I don't want any trouble. Besides, the restraining order I got against you bottom-feeding leeches states 500 feet, so BACK OFF! I TOLD YOU TO BACK OFF! Seriously, dude, I'm just trying to catch a snooze here. It's not like this is my first choice for a nap but you kind of backed me into it. You're making me angry, AND I DON'T THINK YOU'D LIKE ME

I Thought Being a Kid was About Having FUN!

2010-12-10T15:18:00.000-06:00

Not long ago blog post at Nerdy Apple Bottom titled My Son is Gay caused quite a stir around the Internet to the point that it was featured on the Today show. All the hoopla was about her 5 year old's choice of Halloween costume. He went as a cartoon character from his favorite cartoon which just happened to be Daphne from Scooby Doo. Turns out while other children didn't have a problem with this

Wednesday Word-Love: Surreptitious

2010-12-08T12:00:00.000-06:00

I'm noticing a pattern here among the words I have affection for: I like the 'shus' sound because this is another one of those words that I like to say. Kind of like salsa...I think this may have something to do with the fact that the first time I ran across it I had to stop and actually PRACTICE saying it. And then I had to look it up. As an adult. I tell my son stuff like this and it just

Heredity?

2010-12-01T13:19:00.000-06:00

Recently the boy-child and I were at the girl-child's basketball game. About 20 minutes into the game, he suddenly stands up and starts frantically looking around the bleachers. "Where are my gloves?" I help him look for about 10 seconds then say, "Um, well, one of them is on your hand." He looks at his hand and then at his other hand which is also gloved. "Oh, yeah. No wonder my hands are so

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-24T14:47:00.000-06:00

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. - Marcel Proust It's Thanksgiving! My children LOVE Thanksgiving! I find that strange! But love it they do. When I was a kid, Thanksgiving was just something to get through in order to get to the real holiday of Christmas. Where there's, you know, presents. The girl-child likes

Thoughts on Bullying, Part 2

2010-11-22T16:49:00.000-06:00

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Thoughts on Bullying, Part 1

2010-11-19T15:34:00.000-06:00

Much has been made in the news lately about bullying and suicide. The assumption is that the bullying actually causes a child to commit suicide. Additionally, the children guilty of the bullying are then accused of causing the suicide. That’s a pretty stiff burden to place on a child. Yes, their behavior is highly inappropriate and downright wrong but to place the responsibility of another’s

Wednesday Word-Love: Facetious

2010-11-17T12:00:00.000-06:00

Interesting that a word that I hate would spur the idea of Wednesday Word but fortunate that most of the words I collect are words I LOVE because certainly I wouldn't want to be a negative Nelly...at least not about words which, as would be evidenced by a blog perhaps, I happen to actually like quite a bit. Easily the Word-love outnumbers the Word-hate by at least 2-to-1. That's my prediction,

Project Runway Withdrawals

2010-11-12T15:21:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure what it is about this show. I certainly haven't watched it from the beginning--mainly because my cable company did not offer Bravo until, of course, Project Runway moved to Lifetime--but seriously, I hate when this show ends. And it makes me way too happy when it starts up again. More than other shows I watch. Except True Blood. And maybe Mad Men. Okay, let's just say this is my

Wednesday Word-Hate: Turnkey

2010-11-03T12:00:00.000-05:00

As an avid reader/writer I have a peculiar relationship with words. I collect them the way other people collect spoons or sex partners. Because I love words so much, I also have the opposite feeling towards some words as well. Yes, I HATE words. Some words. Perhaps you think hate is too strong but let me assure you, it's not. Today's Word-Hate is TURNKEY. Seriously, this word annoys me to no

The Meanest Mother in the World

2010-10-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

I have complained several times in my Facebook status about the parents in my neighborhood who drive their kids to the bus stop. Every day. On rainy days, it's even worse. Then every kid on this street except one gets driven to the bus stop. The one that doesn't get a ride is my kid. The bus stop is literally across the street and 2 houses down. RIGHT THERE! The other kids who are getting rides

Father Knows Best

2010-10-13T12:00:00.018-05:00

JD is the Girl-child's father. He's a good guy and a great dad and since divorcing when our daughter was an infant, we've had a good parenting relationship. It should also be said that JD is a complete goof. The Girl-child takes after him. And maybe her mom just a little bit. We had a little scare with the Girl-child's Internet usage. Nothing tragic but certainly enough for JD and I to team up

Sibling Rivalry

2010-10-11T12:00:00.002-05:00

One recent Thursday evening, driving in the car with my kids trying to decide where to eat before a hair-cut appointment. They are both tired and aggravated. Boy-child: I want to go to Mexie's. Me: We don't have time. Girl-Child: I want to go to Qdoba. Boy-child : I don't want to go there! Me: How about that new Mexican place that's like Qdoba? Girl-child: I'm not going there if they

We Haven't Had Pizza for a Week!

2010-10-01T16:45:00.001-05:00

Today the boy-child who loves books and loves Fridays because it's library day at school and can check out any book he wants, including a plethora of books on animals or maybe even Harry Potter again chose instead to bring home The Ultimate Soup Cookbook. He doesn't even like soup.

We are SO Breaking Up...

2010-09-27T14:04:00.000-05:00

Who doesn't want those around them to support what they do? Especially when what they do is how they make a living and that living is the means of supplying a certain someone with all the treats, catnip and toys she can handle? So what if I occasionally dress her up in Halloween costumes or make her bite her own tail because it's funny? That's really no reason to be non-supportive of my work.

I Think it's Called Pizza Overload

2010-09-24T17:31:00.002-05:00

First grade is a big hit with the boy-child. He especially loves Friday because it's LIBRARY DAY! He can check out any books he wants. Books about animals (his favorite) or Harry Potter (his other favorite). He can even check out other books about other cool things he might want to learn about. So what does he bring home today? My first grade boy-child who loves books and can check out any book

Sex and the Suburbs

2010-09-17T15:34:00.000-05:00

I've long had high hopes that when the time came for the Sex Talk with my daughter I would be an open and enlightened mom. Not like the moms of my generation who merely said, "Don't do it. Case closed." But when the time came, I failed miserably. No, sorry miserably would be a gross understatement. Magnanimously failed comes closer to the actual truth. And the girl-child, who is 12 now, has all

The Word Police Strike Again

2010-03-27T12:44:00.004-05:00

I can't get away from it! And it's my own fault really as I documented here. And at the end of the day, I'm glad that my kids are conscientious enough to call me on my um, well, stuff (you know what I really want to say!). So without further ado, a conversation I had recently with the boy-child AKA one half of The Word Police. Oh, I just have to add that this was at 8:00 AM or so. And I was late

The Beauty of Being 40

2010-02-10T10:13:00.006-06:00

I catch sight of myself in the rearview mirror. I’m wearing a Nordic print Sherpa hat, no make-up; I’m sweaty from tromping through the snow down by the river. I kind of look like a 15 year old boy as I tend to when my head is covered and my face is bare. (Come on! Let me have my delusions!) I laugh. I love how ridiculous I look. I love how happy I look! Glamour chicks have nothing on me. I’m

Conversations I Never Imagined Having: The Word Police, Part 2

2010-01-21T13:29:00.002-06:00

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Crying in My Fritters

2010-01-06T14:23:00.003-06:00

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Because it's Going to be Cold...

2009-11-10T13:59:00.003-06:00

Ah, Halloween in Minnesota. Could anything be more ridiculous?The problem with Halloween being on October 31st is that we never really know what we’re going to get, weather-wise. Well, we kind of do since the average high is only 46 and the average low is 27. It’s going to be cold. But optimism dies hard here in the Northland. Because that one year? In 2001? It was 60 degrees. It could happen