Logopolis

links for 2009-11-10

2009-11-10T12:06:07-06:00

CBS picking up Shit My Dad Says from Twitter account - TV Squad

I'd like to mock the idea of creating a sitcom based on 140 character texts. But ShitMyDadSays is so funny it's one of the few non-friend Twitter accounts to which I have subscribed. So good for him.

(tags: twitter tv ShitMyDadSays cbs)

The Secret Former Life of Jon Hamm (spoiler alert: he's always been ***)

2009-11-06T13:32:15-06:00

So he's such a talented actor on Mad Men and especially because he was able to play opposite of Tina Fey's horrid social awkwardness on his 30 Rock guest spots, it's easy to imagine that Jon Hamm grew up as a big ugly dork and blossomed into handsome perfection late in life.

But as this picture of him as a high school football player shows, your imagination would be way, WAY off.

Damn, Hamm. Or actually...

D-a-a-a-a-a-a-m-n, Hamm!

(*** = hot)

Steak House or Gay Bar?

2009-11-05T10:22:35-06:00

In the grand Internet tradition (which means it's something that has existed for at least two weeks and in two semi-popular incarnations) of displaying a oddly named thing and asking you decide if its X or Y -- like "Cheese or Font?", I now present the link to the much more wonderful

Steak House or Gay Bar?

Can't decide which joke to go with here, so you've got a choice:

It's tougher than you think. (referencing steaks)
It's harder than you think. (referencing activity that may happen in gay bars)

Turkey Butter

2009-11-05T09:51:50-06:00

Not butter made from turkey because that would be ridiculous... whereas this is squarely at the corner of stupefying and fabulous.

This post could also have the subject like "This is why the terrorists hate us: Thanksgiving edition", but I don't care. I will be looking for this at every Jewel and Dominicks between now at the Wednesday before Thanksgiving so that I may take this home as my gift to my mother's table. Flowers, schmowers, this is a real, practical centerpiece.

How to Make a Horrible Pun a Hilarious Niche Joke

2009-11-03T17:27:21-06:00

So former Stephanie Tanner portrayer and crystal meth aficionado Jodie Sweetin has come out with her autobiography, and though I'm avoiding making fun of it in public in case I never decide I want to do a one-man show reading it, I do have to agree with Dan Hopper at the Best Week Ever.TV (which so weirdly still exists even though Best Week Ever no longer exists on my TV)

Jodie Sweetin Enters Autobiography Pun Hall Of Fame With New Book “Unsweetined”

Admittedly, UnSweetined is a horrible title. But what drove me most crazy (beyond the fact that within the real title they should have doubled the N - because the way is spelled now it would sounds like "tine" or "Valentine" which is less like your name, and granted her name doesn't have two N's but it also doesn't have a "Un" or and "ed" either. But I guess "unsweeten" doesn't have two N's so that would make it more confusing... I'm getting off this train of thought.)

Okay two things drove me crazy. One is explained the devolving parenthetical above. The other is that throughout the BWE.tv post, they refer to it as "Unsweetin" when the cover clearly shows the S should be capitalized Mid-word capitalization is somethign that I am very sensitive about as a McNamara who is far too often a Mcnamara

(The first two unused boxes of business cards sitting on my desk stand as a reminder that sometimes it takes 3 tries to get something right, even if you're told about it once and should have followed the proof you were given; unfortunately this monument is summarily ignored by anyone who comes to my desk to complain. Probably for the best because if I told them what the incorrect business cards were supposed to represent they'd have the crafty comeback: "Didn't we lay off everybody and close our internal print shop two months ago?")

So anyway, since BWE.tv had me pondering capitalization anyway, I realized that it would have been much funnier (to a certain crowd anyway) if it was actually laid out like this:

unsweeTined

(Sorry, either you get it or you don't. Now if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go update my Manhunt profile.)

You know how they say that we saved the UK in WWII; time for NBC to call in the favor...

2009-11-03T10:33:23-06:00

Despite its wacky tone, I believe that a lot of 30 Rock is actually fact. (Tina Fey is not Liz Lemon but Tracey Morgan is soooo Tracey Jordan.) So it's hard for me to think of a company owned by evil corporate overlords as underdogs for which I should root in real lfe. But NBC as a television network is pathetic, and as a lover of pop culture history, that's just sad. This is a network once so big they had to explode it into multicolored Red and Blue networks. Granted, that was in the days of radio, but it feels like it's been that long since NBC wasn't just the butt of a joke.

NBC didn't make it any easier for me to cheer them on when they gave the keys of the kingdom to Jay Leno and he ran his 3,006 unfunny cars through every promotional stoplight possible before committing a hit and run of unfunny to America's soul every weeknight at 10/9C. But here's how they can make it up to me and get me back on their side. Give this pilot a chance:

Popular British actor David Tennant, best known for playing the title role in the BBC's long-running sci-fi series "Doctor Who," is set to make his American television debut as the title character in NBC's hour-long pilot "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer."

The comedic legal drama centers on a top Chicago litigator (Tennant) who begins suffering panic attacks and takes up coaching clients to represent themselves in court.

NBC green lighted the project in August, about two years after it was first developed, and had been trying to find a lead actor for several months until Tennant came along and nailed the part.

Though I'd heard about this pilot somewhere (which is one of those weird and wonderful things about reading too much on the Internet -- you can feel like a Hollywood insider even though you're so totally not) and found the premise potentially too gimmicky, it sounds perfectly suited to Tennant's many charms.

And though we all know the production of television shows featuring "top Chicago" anyones aren't based in Chicago, the idea that they might do some exterior scenes every once and a while (like ER used to) and that Tennant might be a part of them.... let's just say I've got my stalking shoes ready.

But of course, NBC has to pick it up first. But if they want to save their network, they could do much worse. There's nobody better suited to save history than a Time Lord

links for 2009-10-31

2009-10-31T13:03:08-05:00

Light-Skin Brothers Making A Comeback

Ta-Nehisi Coates has a post about his feelings about 80s pop diversity that brings together the personal and political in a way that blogging was invented for. Well, it's probably not the reason it was invented. That was just ease of publishing. But why it's popular. No that's not right easier. That's cat pictures and incoherent partisan ranting. But why it's important and awesome and why I still wear my Blogger sweatshirt proudly even though I use typepad. This description has nothing to do with the post itself, but you should still read it because it's rock star writing.

(tags: Ta-NehisiCoates culture race Prince Vanity biracial ILovethe80s)

Spoiler Alert

2009-10-15T09:59:03-05:00

With all the behind the scenes drama at the remake of V, poster vandalism probably isn't all that big of a worry, especially since this particular vandalism isn't telling anybody who is actually interested something they don't already know. Still though, it made me laugh.

You know what looks unexpectedly great?

2009-10-11T16:21:08-05:00

The commercials for Astroboy.

Sent from my iPhone

New Doctor Who logo

2009-10-09T14:34:34-05:00

Behold the awesomeness...

I can't believe it's taken them this long to do a TARDIS with the DW. It seems so obvious.

And also awesome.

Of course, some people hate it.

I, however, am pretty happy.

Like wondering where on my person the little DW tattoo should go happy

Tight Levis

2009-10-07T08:47:24-05:00

So the back page of today's Red Eye we learn that Levi Johnston is logging mucho gym time in preperation for his appearance in Playgirl. Isn't it nice that somebody in that whole messed up clan has some follow through?

On the other hand, don't strain yourself. We liked you fine just they way you were. On a third hand, overly muscled hockey players...mmnmm.

Sent from my iPhone (which explains why there is sadly no illustration to this post)

links for 2009-10-02

2009-10-02T13:03:36-05:00

Top Ten People Who Laughed at Letterman's Show Last Night | The Blog | Chicago Reader

Personally, I think Dave can keep making as many jokes about adultery as he wants. He's a comedian and that's his job. Making jokes isn't the same thing as passing judgment. It's not like he didn't even mock himself during his public confessional last night. unless some really, much more prurient details come out, I think Letterman may come out of this on a better place (professionally at least) The incident has created buzz and his apology, despite what the celebrity pundits (God, it makes me ill that there even are such a thing) on the Today show thought, the apology worked, seemed sincere, and probably saved him from a much bigger fiasco. His personal choices might not have been the wisest, but from the moment he started getting blackmailed, it seems like he's handled this very intelligently.

(tags: letterman scandal topten chicagoreader)
'How I Met Your Mother’' exclusive: Rachel Bilson cast as you-know-who?! | Ausiello | EW.com

"In what could turn out to be the mother of all casting scoops, Rachel Bilson has landed a pivotal — some would say legendary — role in How I Met Your Mother’s 100th episode." She may or may not be the titular mother, but either way, I love me some Rachel Bilson and I love me some HIMYM, so this pleases me.

(tags: television EntertainmentWeekly HowIMetYouMother)

"Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up Ricky." // Review of The Boys Are Back (and I don't care)

2009-10-02T02:37:17-05:00

Hmmmmm...

That's how I felt leaving The Boys are Back, the new movie starring Clive Owen as a widower raising his six year old son and re-acquainting himself with his teenage son from a previous marriage. On one hand, it was a well acted (Owen is great and the kid actors are so believable you are almost certain someone's mom was murdered or someone's dad left him as a kid just to get the performances) with well written scenes (the part from the trailer where the six year old asks if his half-brother will like him is even better in the movie) and beautiful cinematography of southern Australia etc. etc.

On the other hand, even though it works through this tragic story in a somewhat believable way, I left feeling, to quote an overused Internet meme and favorite Lisa Simpson comeback:

Meh.

Maybe it's because the inspired-by-a-true-story story took a lot of dramatic twists that felt a little fake yet I excused them because they were probably the actual moments that were true. And didn't really care. Also, there were a number of creative licenses, including *spoiler alert* the conversations with dead wife who appeared on the screen as if she was there until she was not. The first time this happened I wanted to punch the screen and yell "Come on, don't do that!" But by the end, I felt it was justified by the way it had all unfolded. But that's all it was -- justified by structure. They earned it from a coldly critical perspective. But certainly not emotionally. It's like the movie was a well put together gown on Project Runway but I was Nina Garcia down in the judge's row thinking, "God, I sure can see the seams."

I went along with the ride. I laughed at the right parts. I sighed sadly at the right parts. But I never guffawed. And I never wept. If a movie's sole existence is based on pulling your heart strings, but it only plucks, never tugs, I don't think it's a success.

And it's a freaking true story with Clive Owen and a six year old boy acting their freaking hearts out regarding the death of their wife/mother. And I was left judging the performances. And cold.

(seriously, a hot loving man continually calls his young son "sweetheart" and I was barely moved...either my heart is dying or this movie didn't quite work... I think it's the latter... at least I hope)

James Franco "Travels on the Pineapple Express" , Accepts Role on General Hospital

2009-10-01T15:36:39-05:00

As you know, I'm the last person in the world to diss soap operas as a genre. I, in fact, believe that I am their biggest supporter. But General Hospital in the last five+ years has gone from the wonderful show that I adored so much that I watched its spin off when it premiered in prime time to...well, a nearly unrecognizable, often tone deaf show that supports murderous mobsters over the former good guys and doesn't care that Luke cheated on Laura back when they were on the run with Lucky in Canada before coming back to the show in the 90s. (If you don't know what that means, let's just say it's FUCKING sacrilege)

So it is with mixed feelings, to say the least, for me to report that James Franco is pulling a Macdonald Carey and going from big time movie star to soap star... a career path that is, shall we say, untraditional. On one hand, soaps are dying off very quickly and I think it'd be a sad, sad day if that happens completely. On the other hand, why isn't he on Young and the Restless or One Life to Live or a soap that doesn't currently suck? (Actually, those are the only two with anything going for them these days, except for those cute gay guys who everybody seems to love on As the World Turns.)

Seriously, this is just weird

links for 2009-10-01

2009-10-01T13:05:18-05:00

Cheese or Font

Guess which is which based on the name. Harder and more fun than you might think.

(tags: typography Fonts game humor food)
Rally in Chicago for Gay Rights

"LGBT Change, a local grassroots initiative founded late last year, is organizing the Chicago rally, which starts at 1p.m., Oct 11, under the Picasso statue." More on this later maybe but mark your calendar just in case

(tags: Chicago Gay activism)
Gossip Girl's Little J gets a new bad-boy beau

Kevin Zegers was awesome -- and delicious -- in Transamerica, so this could be a very, very good thing. Of course, I didn't like Michelle Trachtenberg on Buffy and I love her as Georgina so I suppose the reverse could happen.

(tags: TVSquad GossipGirl television)

When a Problem Comes Along.... My "Whip It" Review/Test

2009-09-30T11:57:56-05:00

To determine if you should the new roller derby riot grrrl (do the kids still say that?) film Whip It take the following test:

Answer	Question	Explanation to Relevance
Section A - True or False Answer the following True or False questions
T F	I like Ellen Page.	Not the character Juno or the version of Kitty Pryde who broke up Ice Man and Rogue in X Men 3, but the actress who, though having worked with both Diablo Cody or Brett Ratner and should be blamed for neither's failure as artists or human beings
T F	I enjoyed the A&E reality series Rollergirls.	This is basically the fictionalized tale of that program with Page playing a small town Texas alternachick forced to compete against the rich kids iin beauty pageants by her postal carrier mom until she discovers roller derby on a shopping trip to Austin and realizes this is her destiny. Like Rollergirls, Whip It tells the tale of the TXRD League and the bad ass women within.
T F	I like Kristen Wiig	She, as the Mama Bear who takes our heroine under her stakes/wing is the best non-Ellen Page thing about Whip It. She should be in every indie comedy (though lately it seems like she is)
T F	You really wanted to see this movie, but really couldn't accept the idea that Drew Barrymore was supposed to be the same age as Ellen Page.	This is entirely not true, and the idea that Page is younger than her roller derby compatriots is not only mentioned but a crucial element to the plot.

If you answered true to at least two of these questions, you should definitely see it. If not, continue.

Answer	Question
Section B Answer the following with yes or no.
Y N	Have you ever bought used clothes at a store that also sells pot paraphanelia?
Y N	Would this cause your mother not to pay for these clothes on either a moral stand or because the hipsters behind the counter laughed at her?
Y N	Do you like Alia Shawkat and/or ever wonder what she looks like with freckles? With her playing Page's best friend, this means Page has been the lead in movies where she's been coupled with both of the young Bluth cousins from Arrested Development. However, Page and Shawkat have far more sexual chemistry than Cera did with her in Juno, and even though their characters aren't lesbians, their closeness (and the freckles) are still a plot point which leads to the most awesomely satisfying (if morally questionable) hip check in film history.
Y N	Do you like to hate Juliette Lewis? She makes a wonderfully hateable bully in the best sports movie tradition.
Y N	Do you like it when film locations seem real? Because although Barrymore in her directorial debut makes some questionable editing choices (as witnessed by the outtakes in the closing credits they kept me asking "Why didn't we see that?" and also made me sometimes wish that a more experienced director has been behind the camera to make the scenes around the derby track more exciting, the places feel authentic -- and not just because the warehouse was the same place Rollergirls competed and much of the movie looks like it was sponsored by the Austin Chamber of Commerce and Tourism Board. The houses are clutters in a real way and the house parties and bar are awkwardly spaced like real life. Kudos to the set dresser and designer and whoever else makes such things happen.
Y N	Do you like montages set to music? Because Whip It has both an inspirational sports training montage AND a falling in love montage that, though cliched, were really great and are a credit to Barrymore's directing style.

If you answered yes to 3 of more of the questions in Section B, you should see Whip It.

Section C - Written Essay Summation

Whip It plays most of the notes you'd expecte a coming of age/sports team comedy to play but they are arranged in an entertaining way, and though most everything turns out the way you expect it might, it gets there in some unique ways. For example, like the real roller derby, this movie isn't so much about gender, romance, love, and sexuality but being post-sexual^TM(courtesy of Julie Keck). The love story plot is satisfying in both its execution and conclusion (though , in hindsight, I fear a scene set in a pool while cheekily effective may lead to a bunch of drownings because of its total impossibility to actually recreate without gills.)

I'm not sure this movie will have a lot of crossover appeal. But if you saw the long trailer and thought you might like it, see it. It does what it advertises without disappointment.

Another Review I Meant To Write Earlier: The Ville (Again)

2009-09-28T15:33:07-05:00

After a couple of months of missing it, I saw Andersonville's soap-opera-on-stage The Ville two weeks ago and if you're local, you should check it out again. Still mixing the comedy and drama skillfully, the storylines have moved on, the cast is slightly different, but it's still a tight 90 minutes or so of good entertainment. Today's the last night to see this month's episode and if you get a chance. The gay domestic violence plot is melodramtic in the best sense of the word -- no, not full of false pathos and sentiment but appealing to emotion and sentiment to tell an important story like the best plot of a soap opera that would end with a PSA at the end. If you've ever fought too much or too hard with someone you love, it will break your heart again. Check it out.

The Ville previously on Logopolis:

Fame: New Remake Won't Live Forever, but People Won't See It and Cry

2009-09-28T14:24:10-05:00

Baby look at me

Unlike most of America, if the box office results are anything to go by, I was excited to see the remake of Fame. The difference between now and when the original was made is that the very title is where the interesting conflict could arise in a remake. More than ever, we live in a world where one can be incredibly famous without any discernible talent. Whether you have the last name of Kardashian or can pop out an inexplicable number of womb rats, you can be famous just for being you -- as long as you is trashy or fertile or tragic or some combination of the above.

And tell me what you see

But not all reality shows and other celebrity factories are run by tabloid stars. So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway, and sometimes American Idol show us talented folks doing interesting things and occasionally having dramatic moments, so it's only logical that in a world of these programs' successes and the High School Musical juggernaut that Fame would get remade.

You ain't seen the best of me yet

And there in lies the remake's biggest problem. It's cotton candy fluff from a world where Adam Lambert is thought to be overflowing with sex and the Jonas Brothers are considered purity-ring wearing hunks. Asher Brook is pretty to look at, but so is a Ken doll. The male dancers were suitably built, except for the one who is not supposed to be and can't properly lift, and even he managed to fill it out before they *spoler alert* sent him back to gay exile in Iowa. But despite these attempts, the whole thing felt neutered. There was certainly no Leroy. Granted, this also means that none of the high school students look 40, but it's just as unbelievable to have a sexless world full of attractive high school students. It's a PG rated remake of an R rated movie in an NC-17 world.

Give me time I'll make you forget the rest

The film opens with a replay of Debbie Allen's "You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying - in sweat" speech (from the TV show, but it's such a looming part of the cultural memory of the franchise, you'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise) over the title lighting up the sky like a flame (Fame), but other than the inclusion of Allen as the principal and the structure (from audition to graduation, the movie is divided by Freshman through Senior year), this is the only real attempt to shamelessly capitalize on the original

I got more in me.

Still, Fame 2009 is movie certainly made by someone who loved the first go-round, even if only one song remains (besides the title track, which plays over the end credits). There's a cafeteria jam scene early on that I found thrilling, but it's still no "Hot Lunch Jam. There's a trashy casting couch scene, but it's certainly not Coco convinced to take off her top. There's a huge performance at graduation, but... There's a near suicide, but.... So there's a lot of similarities, but there's also a lot of "but...."

And you can set it free

Beyond their voices and dancing abilities that brought them there, the kids are pretty forgettable. The face that was most familiar to me, So You Think You Can Dance's Kherington Payne plays the uptown girl with dancing chops who seems to date a downtown guy mostly to piss off her parents. Unfortunately (maybe), this plot arc happens in about two scenes. Kherington is an amazing dancer and her music video routine crawling on top of other dancers is the closest thing the movie gets to "hot"; however, her acting ability ends with her smile, so it was probably best not to give her anymore talking than they already did.

I can catch the moon in my hands

Of course, most of the adults were fantastic -- though again, you could count most of their lines on your fingers and toes. As principal, Allen speaks like the Lord on high, just like she does from the judges' table on So You Think You Can Dance. The movie avoids putting Kelsey Grammar and Bebe Neuwirth in a scene, so you're not forced have to think about them playing the couple that made them famous, but they are still basically playing the same characters. Frasier is a classical loving musical snob who has no time for improv or kids from the streets who don't care about Beethovan. Lilith is the cold bitch of a dance instructor who will break your heart and send you and your tragic shoes to consider jumping in front of a subway.

Don't you know who I am

The closest thing to an authentically moving scene comes from the other Must See TV veteran, Megan Mullally, as the vocal teacher miles away from Karen Walker, who, after taking her class out to a karaoke bar and then surprising them with her own abilities, is forced to explain that she used to pound the pavement looking for work just like they will so do did but eventually grew tired and gave it up, but she still goes to Broadway shows and thinks "I could do that." It's an obviously conversation, but Mullally nails it, and even the kids raise their game by reacting with just the right look of sympathy at her story and terror that they are heading down the same path.

Remember my name

Despite all of my complaints, I recommend the remake. It's as good or better than most of the similarly themed "kids in the arts" movies that have come out in the last decade. I'm sure there's an audience out there for it with kids today. Even though the title is Fame, it's stressed throughout that celebrity should not be the desired end result for these talented kids, and that they should work on honing their gifts and not their headshots and OK Magazine. That alone makes it a worthwhile venture for kids today in my book. And if it inspires them to see the original, all the better.

Why I Love The Internet #314789

2009-09-24T21:30:31-05:00

When reading a lengthy post in Metafilter, which was inspired by Kirk Cameron's latest assault on Creationism, the conversation managed to contain both intelligent conversation about Christianity AND Boner's real name (Richard Milhaus "Boner" Stabone), which led me to a Wikipedia article on Growing Pains, which led to this table of the international names of the show:

Country	Name	Literal translation
China	成长的烦恼 (Chéngzhǎng de Fánnǎo)	The Frustrations of Growing Up
Taiwan	歡樂家庭 (Huānlè Jiātíng)	Happy Family
France	Quoi de neuf docteur?	What is new doctor? or What's up doc?
Germany	Unser lautes Heim	Our loud home
Italy	Genitori in blue jeans	Parents in blue jeans
Japan	愉快なシーバー家 (Yukai na Seava (Seaver) Ke)	Happy Seaver's family
Latin America	Ay! Cómo duele crecer	Ouch! How painful is growing up
Poland	Dzieciaki, kłopoty i my	Our kids, trouble and us
Spain	Los Problemas Crecen	The Problems grow
Sweden	Pappa vet bäst	Dad knows best

If you ask nicely, I will sing the Japanese theme song based on this title that I have just written and am now singing out loud over and over again.

About Mackenzie Phillip's Revelations on Oprah, I Told You So

2009-09-24T13:39:38-05:00

No, not the BIG one.

The one where she talks about the One Day at a Time reunion from the Today show last year, and she admits that, at the time, she was totally riding the white horse.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

That's heroin for those of you whose drug lingo isn't older than me.

I totally said to PunkAndy at the time that she was back on the stuff again. He agreed with me.

Granted we were probably high too.

Just kidding; we weren't... though if there was ever a case of "takes one to know one", we would be it.

(BTW, confessing previous illicit drug use and how I've conquered said self-abuse in public does not mean that I am currently having or previously had incestuous relations with my family. See, Mackenzie, there's such a thing as levels of rock bottom and you don't have to win the contest EVERY TIME. Just saying.)

In all seriousness, I hope Julie Cooper continues to get the help she needs.

links for 2009-09-16

2009-09-16T13:05:22-05:00

Dessine moi un objet » Blog Archive » Iphone and Itouch paper stand / dock

Pretty sweet cardboard dock if you have a cord...which I do..when it works

(tags: iPhone diy ipod apple pdf paper design free)

The Time Of Your Life At The Touch of a Button

2009-09-15T11:35:00-05:00

It's a sad day for Dirty Dancing fans everywhere, wrote my sister in a text message last night, and I agree.

Fortunately the voices of Johnny and Baby exist for her at the end of her keys with this delightful key chain, which though was just supposed to be a stocking stuffer, ended up being one of the most popular gifts Andy and I exchanged with my family last year (once we finally decided to give it up and not keep it for ourselves)

The six buttons give you such classics as

I can't even do the meringue!
I carried a watermelon.^₁
The steps aren't enough - feel the music.
You're invading my dance space.
Go back to your playpen, Baby! ²

And of course

Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

¹ My favorite

² This one isn't actually Johnny or Baby, but Penny when she was and the delivery is awesome because it should more accurately be quoted as "Go back to your playpen (HUGE dramatic pause) Baby (with the "B's" stressed and spit perfectly.

He's like the wind

2009-09-14T21:37:31-05:00

I got this message tonight and it made me sadder than it should

From: CelebrityDeathBeeper.com
Date: September 14, 2009 7:27:03 PM CDT
To: x@deathbeeper.com
Subject: A celebrity death!

A celebrity death?

PUBLICIST: PATRICK SWAYZE DIES AT 57

http://deathbeeper.com/2973941.html

Thank all 22,921 of you for using http://CelebrityDeathBeeper.com

Why unsubscribe?

Yes, why would I when I can get news like this so quickly.

For PunkAndy...who I miss more than I imagined

2009-09-13T18:28:02-05:00

If two men could have a baby and then have it turned into a YouTube video, I'm wonderfully afraid this would be ours.

The first half or so is so absolutely wonderful that I thought about not posting it because it seemed like I'd be wasting a pretty good idea for a proposal. The second half gets crazy, but the Matt Smith mocking at the end seals the deal.

Remember Dates

2009-09-11T14:39:27-05:00

I've always liked to play with numbers, though not strictly in a mathematical sort of way. I liked to multiply numbers together on a calculator until it went from 10E99 to error out with EEE or whatever error message it returned. I liked to try to divide two large random numbers and hope I got an even result. I squared and square-rooted and tried to figure out what the x^y button meant even before I'd been taught the multiplication tables.

And whenever I look at two numbers, I try to figure out their simple relationships. I just always have. It's the way my brain is numbered.

So I always thought it was neat that my birthday was 12/12, especially since that was the largest multiplication table value that we had to memorize in the third grade. And I thought it was neat that my mom's birthday was 4/16 and that my dad's was 2/1 as if this meant they belonged together in a multiplying/squaring away. (Yes, I know that 1*1 doesn't equal 2, but I've always played with numbers in a liberal artsy sort of way.)

And my brother's birth date - 7/8/78 -- was the neatest of all.

So my poor sister had the only birthday in the family that there wasn't some reason to easily remember. Until she turned twenty-one. On September 11.

Now, as they saying goes, we'll never forget.

Happy birthday Molly!

Gordon Brown to Alan Turing: " I am very proud to say: we’re sorry, you deserved so much better."

2009-09-11T09:47:16-05:00

It's sadly nearly impossible to imagine a sitting US President making such a full and heartfelt apology for homophobia. But this statement from Gordon Brown in regards to Alan Turing is almost perfect (except for needing it in the first place):

2009 has been a year of deep reflection - a chance for Britain, as a nation, to commemorate the profound debts we owe to those who came before. A unique combination of anniversaries and events have stirred in us that sense of pride and gratitude which characterise the British experience. Earlier this year I stood with Presidents Sarkozy and Obama to honour the service and the sacrifice of the heroes who stormed the beaches of Normandy 65 years ago. And just last week, we marked the 70 years which have passed since the British government declared its willingness to take up arms against Fascism and declared the outbreak of World War Two. So I am both pleased and proud that, thanks to a coalition of computer scientists, historians and LGBT activists, we have this year a chance to mark and celebrate another contribution to Britain’s fight against the darkness of dictatorship; that of code-breaker Alan Turing.

Turing was a quite brilliant mathematician, most famous for his work on breaking the German Enigma codes. It is no exaggeration to say that, without his outstanding contribution, the history of World War Two could well have been very different. He truly was one of those individuals we can point to whose unique contribution helped to turn the tide of war. The debt of gratitude he is owed makes it all the more horrifying, therefore, that he was treated so inhumanely. In 1952, he was convicted of ‘gross indecency’ - in effect, tried for being gay. His sentence - and he was faced with the miserable choice of this or prison - was chemical castration by a series of injections of female hormones. He took his own life just two years later.

Thousands of people have come together to demand justice for Alan Turing and recognition of the appalling way he was treated. While Turing was dealt with under the law of the time and we can’t put the clock back, his treatment was of course utterly unfair and I am pleased to have the chance to say how deeply sorry I and we all are for what happened to him. Alan and the many thousands of other gay men who were convicted as he was convicted under homophobic laws were treated terribly. Over the years millions more lived in fear of conviction.

I am proud that those days are gone and that in the last 12 years this government has done so much to make life fairer and more equal for our LGBT community. This recognition of Alan’s status as one of Britain’s most famous victims of homophobia is another step towards equality and long overdue.

But even more than that, Alan deserves recognition for his contribution to humankind. For those of us born after 1945, into a Europe which is united, democratic and at peace, it is hard to imagine that our continent was once the theatre of mankind’s darkest hour. It is difficult to believe that in living memory, people could become so consumed by hate - by anti-Semitism, by homophobia, by xenophobia and other murderous prejudices - that the gas chambers and crematoria became a piece of the European landscape as surely as the galleries and universities and concert halls which had marked out the European civilisation for hundreds of years. It is thanks to men and women who were totally committed to fighting fascism, people like Alan Turing, that the horrors of the Holocaust and of total war are part of Europe’s history and not Europe’s present.

So on behalf of the British government, and all those who live freely thanks to Alan’s work I am very proud to say: we’re sorry, you deserved so much better.

Ellen on Idol: She's Come a Long Way Baby

2009-09-09T20:35:12-05:00

Holy shit.

Ellen DeGeneres To Be 4th 'American Idol' Judge in 5-Year Deal

Over the next few days and weeks, I'm sure that lots of people will weigh in on this news and will, because Idol is such a juggernaut, parse this news six ways to Sunday and back. And I know I've often bragged about how I've not watched the show since the first season. But maybe because I saw this news as Kelly Clarkson was playing on my last.fm account, and maybe because I was an already grown out-of-the-closet adult when Wendy's and many others refused to advertise on her sitcom when she came out, but for some reason, something about a lesbian -- particularly one who I'm so crazy about -- being a huge get for the #1 rated show in the country and an obvious, non-controversial choice moved me to tears this evening.

Re-examining The Great Oprah Invasion: The New Logopolis Position

2009-09-09T14:09:54-05:00

An estimated 20,000 people. Sychronized crowd dancing. The Goodyear blimp buzzing downtown. Giant inflatable robots (which led me to consider some sort of pop culture illustration that shows whatever The Flaming Lips were doing three years ago, a more popular act will be doing on Oprah five or so years later -- expect to see a future incarnation of The Pussycat Dolls coming out of a giant fabric vagina in 2014).

What I'm saying is that perhaps I was too harsh on my fair city yesterday. I apologize for saying you overreacted to Oprah, but I have no actual Brady Bunch metaphor with which to illustrate it, so....

Davy Jones, Sam the Butcher and Joe Namath were all playing football and then a volcano blew up and got all over that crazy aunt who looked like Jan when she was younger and then everybody went to the Grand Canyon where they had to do battle with Vincent Price and Bobby's idol Jesse James over a tube that they thought was carrying a poster but was really the plans for something else. Incidental music by Don Ho.

Yeah, that's what it was like downtown yesterday.

Oprah Films in Downtown Chicago: The Official Logopolis Position

2009-09-08T15:28:17-05:00

Dear Chicago:

Oprah closed down a major street so she could film her show downtown for one full day following a holiday. Buses are being re-routed. Traffic is a little snarly. But could you please quit treating it like the snow isn't getting plowed or Bartman stole your ball or you lost your contact on "L" platform on the evening of July 3 or somebody put ketchup on your hot dog or some other related to Chicago calamity?

Stuff happens. Sometime even shit happens. And sometimes its stuff/shit you don't care about but other people do, and their pleasure becomes your inconvenience.

But the facts are these: we live in a great city and sometimes you have to put up with others in order to do so.

It's one thing to act like a Second City and live in the shadow of New York like some sort of insecure Jan Brady. I'm used to that. But "Oprah Closes Blocks: How This Affects YOU!" is not a valid headline or lead news story. It is a topic of conversation. We are not Cousin Oliver.

With tough love,

Mike

Eternal Gratitude of the Sometimes Mine

2009-09-08T09:55:07-05:00

Over the holiday weekend, the Style Network's awesome knock-off spin-off brand extension of The Soup, The Dish aired their Best Catfights of 2009 and Some-Other-Thing So Far (I've paraphrased the official title from memory) special. The extremely awesome Danielle "Topanga All Grown Up" Fishel made this curious point when discussing Perez Hilton's alleged assault by a member of the Black Eyed Peas entourage (the one which was allegedly incited by Perez calling someone a faggot and in which Perez definitely called Fergie fugly in the video he posted trying to gain sympathy): "How has it taken until 2009 for somebody to punch this guy in the face?" (again I'm paraphrasing from memory)

Considering this, and as Chicago whines¹ about Oprah shutting down Michigan Avenue for the performance of the Peas...is that correct usage?... Wikipedia, which is, of course, never wrong, says its correct to abbreviate to BEP, which I will now do. BEP is downtown today, I am downtown, and though I am at work, I am incredibly tempted to go join the crowd. Not because of any great love of Fergie and will.i.am -- though I will grant you that many of their hooks are contagious, so is H1N1 -- but because I want to make a poster with construction paper, markers, and lots of glitter that says simply:

THANK YOU FOR
PUNCHING PEREZ HILTON
IN THE FACE
(allegedly)

Fortunately, the Internet can help you fake anything

¹ - More on this later.

Shot Through The...Yeah, I'm Not Going To Finish That Joke...Who's To Blame?

2009-09-02T21:31:48-05:00

You know, I think I've discovered why Courtney Love keeps doing so many drugs.

(allegedly)

Because, as this video of Rock Star proves, Kirk Cobain's ghost is obviously haunting her and she needs to sleep somehow.

Yes, that's the visage of the late Nirvana front man singing Bon Jovi...and Bush... and Flavor Flav.

Selling Converse is one thing...but this...just...wow. I guess somebody has to keep Francis Bean in...whatever... and if your baby's daughter shoots himself, you can do whatever you want really... even if, and in fact, possibly especially if, it's pretty much the reason he shot himself in the first place.

But I don't know what Dave Grohl's excuse is.

Lourdes Leon Plays Dress-Up Like Mommy

2009-09-02T14:13:40-05:00

There are no words.

And even if there were, I'm not sure in what direction they would be.

Disney Buys Marvel for $4 Billion

2009-08-31T10:11:39-05:00

Wow. This is huge news for comic geeks and pop culture lovers alike but I have no idea what it means. Personally, I've always wondered who would win in a magic showdown between Doctor Strange and Cinderella's Fairy Godmother. Now, perhaps, we'll finally know.

How You Know You're An Obsessed Fan

2009-08-26T12:22:22-05:00

Not that there was any questions about this regarding yours truly and Doctor Who. But here's an example. When a unconfirmed spoiler about an updated set excites you, you know you're obsessed beyond repair. Still, though, this sounds so awesome I hope that's it's true:

A poster at Gallifrey Base claims to have gotten a good look inside the new TARDIS set, which we'll see in 2010. Supposedly, the interior of the TARDIS will have two different levels, joined by a spiral staircase, and we'll be seeing a console room, a lab area, a sitting room, a long corridor, and "numerous other little nooks and crannies." The set is designed to be modular, so that pieces of the set can be moved around and double as other parts of the ship, when we visit other rooms inside the TARDIS.
The console room itself is a shaped like a hexagon attached to a square rather than being circular, the color theme is mostly silver and gold, and the coral finish has been replaced with marble. The roundels decorating the walls are now inverted hemispheres, and while they appear throughout the set, they do not appear on every wall. The roundels have different color schemes for each room: gold in the console room, silver, gray, and blue in the lab, and brown in the sitting room.
You should, of course, take this with several truckloads of grains of salt.

I hope this is true even more than I hope Chuck Bass going fake-gay... I love that the same-sex male kiss is now the ridiculous ratings stunt that lesbian smooches once were. Like Virginia Slims, we've come a long way, baby.

Ripped from the Headlines (Before It Happened?)

2009-08-25T09:15:26-05:00

One of the bizarre things in the extra bizarre murder case of Jasmine Fiorie , allegedly by her now-dead reality show starring husband Ryan Alexander Jenkins that is getting a lot of press is that her body was identified by the serial numbers in her breast implants. While this is fascinating, it's so fascinating that they've used this on a plot point on CSIand at least one of the Law and Orders that I know of, which means it's probably been done on television -- and in real life -- too many times to really be considered news. Or it means I watch too much TV. It's certainly one of those.

"The gayest man on Earth would call this over the top."

2009-08-23T18:28:54-05:00

Mel suggested this last week when I blogged about the "Total Eclipse of the Heart" in flowchart form. This has been around for a while, but I just got around to checking it out. It is more awesome than I could have imagined.

Seriously, how did anybody take this video seriously? The gayest man on Earth wouldn't, would he?

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" in flowchart form

2009-08-18T20:17:56-05:00

Click here to see the whole thing.

Inglorious Basterds + Mario =

2009-08-16T12:20:50-05:00

Ingloruious Plummers

Watch it -- it's better than you think it will be.

Hate to Say I Told You So (Actually, No I Don't)

2009-08-13T11:41:04-05:00

Over two years ago (on April 18, 2007 to be specific), I said regarding the then-"likely" Spider-man musical, which had both Robert Jordan and Bono tied to it, "this will either be awesome or the biggest Irish disaster since the potato famine."

Well, it looks like it was the latter.

Spider-Man Musical "Biggest Fiasco In Broadway History" - Spider-man - io9

Stephen (who was always betting against this particular horse) has much more to say on this, as is appropriate given that it is more his beat -- the (fortunately) rarified air where comics meet musical theater.

President Obama Honors Harvey Milk With Presidential Medal of Freedom

2009-08-12T23:01:12-05:00

His name was Harvey Milk. And he was here to recruit us, all of us, to join a movement and change a nation. For much of his early life he had silenced himself. In the prime of his life he was silenced by the act of another. But in the brief time in which he spoke and ran and led, his voice stirred the aspirations of millions of people. He would become, after several attempts, one of the first openly gay Americans elected to public office. And his message of hope, hope unashamed, hope unafraid, could not ever be silenced. It was Harvey who said it best: You gotta give 'em hope.

And I will not ruin this important moment by joking that it was nice to see an original member of the Village People show up around 0:38 in this video...oops I just did.

links for 2009-08-12

2009-08-12T13:04:30-05:00

Random Road Trip Recap

This is pretty awesome. Geeky man and his wife take a road trip based on where their 4-sided die and coin flipping takes them. Once the truck's brakes get fixed, we are so doing this.

(tags: awesome roadtrip travel)
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra in inspiring lots of entertaining reviews... First up, Roger Ebert.

"G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" is a 118-minute animated film with sequences involving the faces and other body parts of human beings. It is sure to be enjoyed by those whose movie appreciation is defined by the ability to discern that moving pictures and sound are being employed to depict violence. Nevertheless, it is better than "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."

(tags: movies review ebert movie GIJoe)
The Movie Non-Review: 'GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra'

"Sometimes, a film defies conventional narrative and artistic standards so utterly that it seems unfair to judge it by them. G.I. Joe is such a case, a movie that has, through its own inverse accomplishment, earned the right to speak for itself. Consider this a tone poem in 40 scraps of dialogue"

(tags: funny movie GIJoe NewRepublic)

I Couldn't Choose a Headline for This...

2009-08-11T16:38:18-05:00

Cameron Douglas's Girlfriend Arrested For Smuggling Heroin into Court

Law enforcement sources said Kelly Sott was caught passing an electric toothbrush to Douglas in a conference room inside the 500 Pearl Street courthouse after a court hearing on his federal drug charges. An official said hidden inside the handle of the toothbrush were dime bags of heroin.

The following possible headlines for this story came to mind.

a) Love is blind

b) Love makes you stupid.

c) Drugs make you stupid.

But I realized that not only were these cheap jokes but they weren't actually true.

Drugs make stupid people do stupid things. Stupid makes you stupid.

And this was totally stupid.

And before you get all up in my face thinking that she was doing some noble thing because her boyfriend was trying to kick the white horse and she was trying to help him out:

a) he's been in jail a month so if that was true, that particular horse would have already trambled all over him, and

b) though he's a stupid celebrity spawn, he's still a rich, well-connected celebrity spawn and if he needed particular help of the pharmaceutical variety, his girlfriend could get him a script, even behind bars.

So, yes, this was just stupid recreational use of the stupidest kind.

And of course, I'm not judging the drugs or the recreational usage there of. I'm judging the stupid. That's what makes me so angry

links for 2009-08-10

2009-08-10T07:25:37-05:00

Journal of a New COBRA Recruit.

This (relatively old) joke is meant to be a joke but it seems like Keith Pille actually should have written the screenplay for this weekend's movie (despite its box office success).

(tags: mcsweeneys GIJoe COBRA funny)

Journal a Seasoned COBRA Veteran.

This is a follow-up to the original, or it might actually be a prequel. I know I've read one of these before. Anyway, like I said, it's an amusing joke -- sort of like the "classic" Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "Lower Decks" but for the Hasbro cartoon.

(tags: funny mcsweeneys COBRA GIJoe)

" I asked him if he would be my pen pal. He said yes."

2009-08-07T23:19:32-05:00

This has been all over the web today, but it's pretty awesome and deserves repeating.

It's the tale of a girl in 1985 who writes John Hughes to tell him what his movie meant to her, and they become correspondents.

We'll Know When We Get There: Sincerely, John Hughes

The story shows that he was just as awesome as you'd want him to be, and further, it gives me a new life goal... try to be the type of person who inspires a touching eulogy for someone outside my immediate circle of friends and family

Why I Hate The Today Show

2009-08-07T12:06:47-05:00

It's hard to believe this is from *Today*'s more respectable time.

So if PunkAndy gets up with me in the morning, which he usually does because he's (a) a trooper and (b) makes me coffee and (c) I'm way too annoying when getting dressed in the bedroom to stay asleep, he moves to the living room with his coffee and cigarettes to watch Today. And as I shower and dress, he tunes into NBC and I usually hear him swearing or sighing at something on the TV.

Today, for example, Natalie Morales did a piece on the death of John Hughes...which she followed up by asking the regular hosts what their favorite Howard Hughes movie was. No, seriously.

Later, in a piece that was ostensibly about the horriffic crash that happened when the woman drove the wrong-way down the expressway in NY , Meredith Viera talked to an addiction expert about all the fact that the woman's family didn't know that she was a drinker or a stoner (as toxicology reports have apparently shown she was, at least last Sunday).

First off, there was never any question that maybe the family, grieving as they obviously are, might, in fact, be lying. Not to put too fine a point on it, but if I caused a horrific accident that killed me and seven other people, I fully expect my friends and family to come out saying that I never drank or did drugs, when my friends and family know that is not the case. It's not pretty but it's human nature. Of course, this was not mentioned.

Further, the so-called addiction expert talked all about how vodka is the alcohol of choice of drinkers who don't want others to know they've been drinking, as if this was some sort of revelation. I learned this lesson from Sue Ellen Ewing (my lifetime's original desperate housewife) when I was seven years old, and you're suddenly acting like your the drunky's Dr. Phil for having this great insight.

So call me at 9:00 when Kathie Lee and Hoda come out. At least they admit to being wrong. And stupid. And crazy. And drunk.

And speaking of important things from your youth dying...John Hughes did.

2009-08-06T16:32:53-05:00

'80s teen flick director John Hughes dies in NYC

In which pictues say a thousand words about Hollywood bleeding my geeky childhood memories and trying to get my present-day gay dollars...

2009-08-06T15:03:11-05:00

When the movie version of G.I. Joe was announced, I was, somewhat embarassingly, intrigued, especially after the casting of

and

as .

However, with the exception of the collapsing

in the previews, the movie looks like it really, truly sucks, and I'm not at all interested in seeing it, despite these promotional pictures:

All that said, I am also completely in love with this t-shirt.

(which is available here)

Just in case you were wondering, Microsoft still sucks.

2009-08-06T10:39:53-05:00

Why, you ask?

Well, say what you want about Google and the importance of having a worthy competitor in the search engine arena, but this result from Bing proves that Microsoft isn't the company who should be doing it.

In case you can't make this out, the first search result for "Why is Windows so expensive?" returns "Why are Macs so expensive? Not only is this ridiculous, but there are no results returned on the entire first page regarding the expensive of Windows (vinyl windows, yes, Microsoft Windows, no) Further, the results page talks about fish being expensive, but never gets around to what I've asked. At best, it's just a suck-ass search engine. At worst, it's totally jacking the results to avoid returning results that put Microsoft in a negative light. I can't decide if it's funnier or sadder.

Pop Culture Prediction

2009-08-05T12:55:24-05:00

American Idol will continue to be at the top of the ratings in the upcoming season, even with the departure of Paula Abdul. However, when the ridiculously popular show finishes its run, Abdul leaving will be seen as "the turning point" that stopped the seemingly unstoppable juggernaut.

links for 2009-08-03

2009-08-03T06:04:17-05:00

The Smart Set: The Dying of the <i>Light</i> - July 24, 2009

Guiding Light may be canceled after 72 years, but despite stumbling ratings for daytime dramas, Stefany Anne Golberg reminds us that the serial format has been around for centuries before Proctor and Gamble started selling soap on the radio and TV and will probably outlive us all. Read it.

(tags: television GuidingLight soaps)