So according to the nation's pop culture critics, America finally got... no, damnit...America HAS its own Susan Boyle with Andrew De Leon, the Marilyn Manson-liking, eye-liner wearing 19 year old who has allegedly never sung in front of people before and then 'surprises' the crowd with his opera singing.
So, for the first time, we finally have an American Susan Boyle. Well. not exactly.
The facts are these:
1. Susan Boyle first appeared as a contestant on Britain's Got Talent on 11 April 2009.
2. KEVIN SKINNER IS AMERICA'S SUSAN BOYLE, New York Post, 2 July 2009
CHICKEN-catcher Kevin Skinner -- who is being called the American Susan Boyle after a stunning debut this week on "America's Got Talent" -- had never sang outside a friend's basement before he took the country by storm Tuesday night.
3. People Magazine TV Watch, 16 July 2009
It's an America's Got Talent adage: frumpy often means "diamond in the rough." And Wednesday's episode proved it to be true when homely radiology tech named Kari Callin from Seattle pulled the classic Susan Boyle move.
4. Has America's Got Talent found its Susan Boyle?, Daily Mail Online, 12 August 2010
When a ten-year-old walked out in her pretty pink dress, her blonde hair neatly bobbed, it was hard to imagine she'd have any talent worth watching. But America's Got talent may have just found its Susan Boyle.
5. 'America's Got Talent' Found Its Susan Boyle in Texas, AceShowbiz.com, June 30, 2011
America may have just found its Susan Boyle. In the Houston, Texas audition of Got an awkward housewife named Cindy Chang decided to make her dream as a singer come true. At the end of the day, her pipes made judge Piers Morgan stand up and people chant her name.
America HAS talent, SHOULD stop judging a book by its cover, and IS suffering from a lack of imagination by some of those who cover pop culture.
* Goth Opera is the title of the first novel published by Virgin Publishing in their Missing Adventures range of Doctor Who novels. It's a sequel to the TV episode "State of Decay" and a sequel to the New Adventure book Blood Harvest; the title include "Goth" because vampires and contains "Opera" because... it was the 90s.
(For some reason, the phrase "goth opera" kept jumping out to me when I read an article about this guy; this is why.)
Dear Drew Peterson:
We here at Michael, Phillips, and McNamara, Chicago's newest amateur P.R consulting firm, read with interest the screamingly-large font on the front page of yesterday's Chicago Sun-Times, that you were 'sick of being called sinister'; you told this to gossip columnist Michael Sneed in an exclusive pre-trial interview.*
Mr. Peterson, never one to pass up a chance to help my fellow 'man', we would like to offer you, free of charge, our valuable media insight in this matter and present this hopefully invaluable 3-point media plan on How To Not Be Called Sinister.
1) Change up your look. We've seen you on the news too many times in too many different situations, and you always have the same smug look. Maybe you aren't an insufferable jagoff. But your appearance says otherwise. Further, after the Rob Lowe Lifetime movie, no matter how you feel about it (your reaction: "Not seeing Kaley Cuoco in a bikini was a waste of time."), you'd do better to get the world not to think about your grey facial hair, even if you aren't just going 'just moustache for the time being.
We understand that a man of your stature may feel that the clean-shaven look is not the type of image you want to project. But a friend of mine used to have a saying about whether or not a man should grow a goatee -- if it doesn't make you look like a devil, shave it off. While I agree with that sentiment, with you, you're looking for the opposite reaction. So shave it off. It might show the doughiness of your 58 years, but I don't think that could hurt you at this point. You can grow it back later -- when we've all decided to stop calling you sinister
2) Quit looking like you're having so much fun. You tell Sneed “I’m just a wise-ass [ex-cop] who gets in trouble for attempting to be funny...But what’s happening is not funny." Then quit acting like it is.
Out of all the many times you've put your foot in your mouth and out of all the horrible things you've been described as doing, for some reason, your perp walk after you got arrested sticks out the most. You had been arrested for the murder of your children's mother. This is a solemn occasion if there ever was one. And not like a "Irish wake" solemnity, but a full-on, no grin serious time. But you've never been able to manage that in front of the cameras.
You blame the media for your treatment. But even under a gag order (which I guess this exclusive interview somehow doesn't violate), you managed to keep yourself in the public eye by writing letters and statements to the media and were often brought to our attention by some of those same folk -- particularly Chicago Sun-Times columnist Michael Sneed. (What a coincidence!) Don't get me wrong -- the media aren't without fault here. But when you do an interview, you make jokes about Cosmo and Kelly Cuoco in a bikini. This is, I suppose, an attempt at being funny. Not only does this attempt fail, but hamming it up with media is NOT what you want to be doing here. (And though this isn't the most accurate measure, when I type "drew peterson" + "hamming it up" into Google, I get 1,410 results. You aren't doing yourself any favors.)
And finally, and on this point, we insist there is no negotiation if you would like to meet your goal:
3) Stop killing your wives.
* Bonus game for those playing at home: find proof in the opening paragraph that the Chicago Sun-Times has turned into a ‘garish, down-market tabloid’ as its former TV/radio columnist Robert Feder said of his old paper last April. It's the easiest newspaper related game outside of Shylock Fox.
So the Kardashians exist.
That is the situation we find ourselves in.
I can even say the phrase "So the Kardashians exist" into my phone's voice input, and thanks to the magic of Google, it can return the name spelled and capitalized correctly based on just me speaking the phrase on a street crowded with traffic. This achievement seems meaningful for some reason.
I learned this yesterday when I sent a memo to myself after receiving this tweet from People magazine, which, I guess, is embarassing in itself. (I was going to lie and say that I'd read it as a retweet somewhere but you know me better than that.)
There it is: showmance. You'd think there couldn't be a more hateful portmanteau involving romance than bromance, but there we go.
So on one hand, I guess I'm glad that was as a society have the capability of creating such an appropriate monstrosity to quickly and accurately described what that 72 days (plus related pre-hype) of matrimony probably waw.
But on the other hand, we have a fucking words for that.
I guess what I'm saying is that in a world where 'showmance' can roll of the collective tongue, if the Kardashians didn't exist, we would somehow invent the Kardashians.
Okay, given everything in the world right now, this doesn't really rank, but this is certainly the worst thing that was found in my Gmail ads. At least today:
Don't get me wrong. The Bachelor is horrible. And probably racist. But, while you'll probably never hear me argue for tort reform, this is the type of thing that turns ignorant people against lawyers.
I guess I just, as the posters say, have a case of the Mondays. Or maybe what upsets me is that I generally think that Google does a fairly good job matching its ads up with my needs. So what does this say about me?
So longtime Logopolis readers (are there any of you left now that this place has joined the rank of popular depressing 21st century statistics like "dogs bred for fighting, infrastructure spending, and unspayed cats"?) know I'm longtime friends of film makers Julie Keck and Jessica King aka kingisafink.
So I'm trying to think what would make me happier thank waking up and reading their that they'd been interviewed in a major media outlet. And I can't think of anything. (Except, as I informed them already that I wish the article would have had a dotted hedcut...because I haven't read the Wall Street Journal since, well, ever.*)
Check out their self-starring short DIY Physics below. Unlike their CineKink movie, it's SFW - unless you work for an animal shelter.
DIY Physics from King is a Fink on Vimeo.
* Related sidenote: There is apparently no online application to quickly make these from existing photos without things that require a "tutorial" -- I find this to be a failing of the "graphic design for the lazy" community that seems to have shot up in the last 5-10 years.
I caught the re-cap of his interview on Today before leaving for work, and even Andy's arch nemesis of the news world* Natalie Morales was laughing at him. Not to compare the public flailings of an A-list addict to a prolonged armed conflict that cost hundreds of thousands of lives, but I think Sheen should see this Morales moment like LBJ saw Walter Cronkrite on Vietnam. If you've lost the ass-kissing ability of one of the worse morning show hosts since Deborah Norville All About Eve'd Jane Pauley, Mr. Sheen, you have indeed, lost America.
However, some online thought it was better for Sheen that he passed a drug test. Why? This just means he's a big an asshole when he's sober as he is when he's high. How is this a win?
And this afternoon, we also learn that another rat is leaving the sinking S.S. Good Time Charlie
Charlie Sheen’s longtime publicist Stan Rosenfield released a statement today saying he’s no longer representing the actor. “I have worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time and care about him very much. However, at this time, I’m unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned.”
Rosenfield, who also represents high-profile actors like George Clooney, has been largely MIA over the last few days while Sheen did a series of shocking radio interviews that culminated with two TV appearances on Good Morning America and Today.
Can't imagine why Rosenfield would... oh wait, of course I do. One high-profile client is going in front of a every camera or microphone he can badmouthing everyone from his co-workers to his bosses to his fans and the other one just got a Newsweek cover story/hand job which praised him for using his fame for good for the people of Sudan, I can see why you’d drop the former.
As for the Oscars, despite my plea to my Facebook and Twitter followers for recommendations for which Best Picture nominees we should see before the movie, Andy and I did not make it to the theater this weekend. When I got home Friday night, Andy was in a mood to clean the apartment and unpack some remaining boxes." Coen Brothers and Natalie Portman and stuttering Firths be damned, I was not re-steering that particular urge.
So I was sad that I'd only seen a few of the alleged Best Pictures before the ceremony, but such things don't usually effect whether or not it was enjoyable. Conventional wisdom is that the show sucked, but I agree with Hugh Jackman (as I often do) that the show seemed to fly by. Anne "Woo Girl" Hathaway and James "Ph.Don't" Franco weren't the best hosts (somebody somewhere online made the wise observation that they took the worst part of the ceremony - awkward patter between having the two popular, talented, beautiful actors -- and stretched it out over all 3+ hours). but I can't go to "Worst Ceremony Ever" territory because:
WTF do you expect? The Oscars are the same thing every year -- an overlong, ego-stroking extravaganza where people look pretty and where for one day an industry focuse on artistic merit when they spend the other 364.25 worrying about the profits. Complain if you want, but you knew what you were getting into.
Dan Hopper at bestweekever.tv (yes that still exists) says the same thing in a better way, including this nuggest which tries, like the last couple minutes of The Social Network, make a statement -- this one about how Oscar hating is a commentary about our society:
The overwhelming universal hate of this year’s Oscars reminds me of the automatic annual complaints about “how bad the Super Bowl commercials were” every year, as though this year’s thirty-second corporate nutshots can’t possibly compare to the glorious yesteryear of frogs saying “Budweiser” and a Pepsi guy beating the sh*t out of a Coke guy (will we ever recapture such magic??) Yes, the Oscars this year were stupid. But we’re also old enough to realize how stupid this self-congratulatory jerkfest is, and we’re all on Twitter and able to express that hate in seconds, so is it any wonder that the end result is a general, snowballed hatred of what is in effect just another installment in a thing that’s always dumb?
So as if to wake my blog from slumber, Donald Trump is shaking up the assholes attendees at the annual CPAC conference of conservative activists by saying he'll decide by June if he's going to run for president. He's run more businesses into the ground than G.W. Bush, so I can see why they'd like him.
I, for one, can't wait for the Paliln and Trump debates.
But not as much as I'm waiting for is 2014 re-match when Sarah and Bristol follow Joan and Melissa Rivers's pathway to the boardroom on Celebrity Apprentice.
Between this and Sarah Palin and Rick Santorum's name-calling, you'd almost think the Republican Party wasn't interested in being serious.
Actress/Comedienne Geri Jewell Releases Memoir 'I'm Walking As Straight As I Can'
Alternate title: "Don't worry, I'm not drunk, I have cerebral palsy."
It's all about her stand-up career, her life on The Facts of Life, and "tax problems, marriage, drug addiction and an accident that nearly claimed her life." (emphasis mine) Also, Deadwood and her lesbianism!
Stay tuned for a review.
One of the new resolutions lately is to keep up with my comics -- which may sound strange as far as resoltions go "spend money on that thing you like" -- but sometimes its harder than you think. In order to gain this reward, however, I'm going to try to write up review on those I buy -- which means, if I can't think of anything nice to say, maybe its time to unsubscribe. (Yes, I've finally broken down and gotten a "drop box" at my local shop -- the fairly wonderful downtown location of Graham Crackers Comics.
The last time I seriously returned to comics a couple of years back, it was hard for me to figure out where to start because I'd always been a Marvel (specifically X-Men) guy. And even now, it was hard for me to stay into Marvel because the Avengers are the main focus of the Marvel Universe (as they should be, as they've become the most popular), but the Avengers have never been my, in the words of Jusin Bieber (to John Waters in regards to his 'stache), jam. However, Spider-Man is newly reborn again (after the Brand New Day fiasco) and it turns out, there's a lot of good going on with my beloved X-Men again.
Take, for example, Uncanny X-Force. Angel and Psylocke have but together a team to do the secret, more hardcore, morally questionable work that needs to take place for the good of mutant-kind. As IGN said in a review "the surest way to make the X-Men the biggest team in comics again is to offer more books like Uncanny X-Force." Warren and Betsy are co-leading a team with Wolverine, Deadpool, and Fantomex against right now Apocalypse -- who non-fans need to know lists among his more evil acts of torturing Angel into Archangel. Apocalypse has been brought back by his followers in the form of a young boy who is being trained to be evil incarnate. This week's issue #3 shows how the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolyps (War, Famine, Pestillence, and Death) were brought together - and though the origin story is well-work territory, this stuff was great -- and works into how X-Force gets out of the situation -- which, though as dark and bloody and violent as X-Force has been in the recent past -- is also clever and uses the characeter's backgrounds and their powers (both our heroes and the newly esablished villains). And the cliffhanger is a winner.
On the opposite side of the "dark/light" X-Title spectrum is X-Factor -- the mutant detective agency full of interpersonal dramas with a far lighter touch. I've always been a big fan of the group's leader Multiple Man - and the laid back, humourous attitude of the whole thing makes it feel like it's the X-title for Generation Me. Then Peter David goes ahead and write a same sex coupling between Rictor and Shatterstar (who I've always found fairly crazy hot - even if he is sometimes an insecure redhead who acts cockier than he feels - which makes finding him hot a problem at best, narcissim at worst) Recently, X-Factor has gotten involved with Hela, an evil Norse goddess, so of course, Thor shows up. In this week's conclusion (perhaps) X-Factor #212, what happens to Darwin in an attempt to defeat her uses his powers (of evolution) in a creative way which seems like it will have lasting consequences.
And this is what the X-titles have always done that makes them interesting. The mutant abilities aren't like other super powers. They aren't something these people are born with or gain through choices. They just happen. And whether it be for evil (with the horsemen) or for good (with Darwin), they affect the characters. The reason why these two titles work best are because of this characterization.
Other Marvel Titles
I also picked up Amazing Spider-man #650 this week, but I need to find a copy of #649 before I read it.
I found myself thinking during Chicago TARDIS, why am I here? Why am I excited to be here before it happens and why do I always want to come back? For those who know me, this might seem odd. "Doesn't Mike love Doctor Who more than just about anything else?" you may say to each other. "Wouldn't a Doctor Who convention be perfect for him?"
Readers in Chicago should make all attempts to head to the touring version of the CineKink film festival
Like all good portmanteaus, the name on the tin describes it well. CineKink "[celebrates and explores] a wide diversity of sexuality, the films and videos in this sex-positive and kink-friendly showcase range from documentary to drama, camp comedy to artsy experimental, mildly spicy to quite explicit – and everything in between." CineKink Chicago is showing at Chicago's Leather Archives And Museum, but don't let this imitate you like you're a newly-out kid shuffling his feet outside not sure if he should go inside or not; in fact, I'm fairly certain that being kinky is not a requirement for attendance, so you can leave your gear at home.
Due to work schedules, PunkAndy and I will only be able to attend Friday night's opening film. I'll probably be there by my lonesome on Saturday - especially for Saturday evening's collection of shorts Yes, Mistress which includes "Libidoland" -- created by Chicago's very own (and Logopolis's very favorite) King is a Fink (pictured left). I'm not saying that all the other films won't be great, but I can speak to this one and it is awesome.
Below is Libidoland's trailer:
Related from the Onion's AV Club:
Slip into some leather for this weekend’s CineKink film fest
In what is probably related to the show's filming in the US (which according to this document (via GallifreyBase) the starts its principal photography in Utah tomorrow), Craig Ferguson is having Matt Smith (the current Doctor) on as a guest tonight. In preperation, he had another special guest yesterday evening.
If you'd told 12 year old American me who desperately tried to get any little sliver of information about Doctor Who and held on to all of it with dear life (like the time I saved a copy of a clue when it was on Jeopardy), that he had to set up his TiVo because the guy who played the Doctor was going to be a guest on an American network talk show on the night after a Dalek made an appearance, he would have freaked the fuck out.
(He also would have been damn impressed about the TiVo.)
I'm pretty sure the very existance of this video would trouble a younger version of me who would get up on his high horse and list how the reverse version of this list exists in every mainstream movie except those done by Tyler Perry. And he'd be right. But he also didn't laugh as much.*
Tonight on Saturday Night Live, a skit revolve around a bad actress wgi, before she even gets around to reading the part, lists the things she will and won't do (will do weird stuff, won't do normal stuff) and what she'll reveal on stage (everything); her husband, Jon Hamm, bursts in when she is denied the part and informs the casting director that they have a star they do not recognize -- the womwn who freaked out at her dog dragging its dirty ass across her clean carpet, screaming "TOBY!"
Andy claimed it actualy existed and that the imitation was a good one. A quick search on "stanley steamer toby" proves him right.
So hey, Stanley Steemer freak out lady, the good news is you've been satirized on SNL.
The political blogosphere, if it isn't already, will soon certainly start hashing out exactly what interpersonal Republican dynamics led to Karl Rove telling the UK's Telegraph that quitting governor and reality show host/contestant breeder Sarah Palin* and her career choices might lead the American people to believe she lacks the "gravitas" to be president.
Unfortunately, especially for those of us who are interested in the answer to that question being a resounding "Hell no!", Google's Hot Trends might help us guess the answer:
I've been told that earlier it was #1.
By the way, in case anybody else has come here looking for the definition, let me be servicey for you:
* Failed-Governor Palin was once "She Who Will Not Be Named" on this site. Unfortunately, she's not going away anytime soon.
UPDATE: Someone at Metafilter, where I learned about this, brought up the excellent point: should we make fun of those who don't know the defintion of words but also those who go through the trouble of looking it up. For that, I say 'touche' and I stand corrected. It's a crass thing to do, even if many of those people would be the same that would say "dont' come to America if you don't know English."
I just hope that those who have looked up the word because they are being told by Palin-adoring bloggers that they should be outraged take that opportunity to look at the reality show hosting and the Facebook misspellings and think of gravitas like pornography: I don't know how to define it, but I know it when I see it (and it's something that I want)
Here's a conversation that happened today:
(work phone rings)
LogopolisMike: Hello, Mike McNamara
PunkAndy: Am I awake?
LogopolisMike: (knowing the answer since I'd just talked to him a few minutes earlier) Yes.
PunkAndy: So I'm not dreaming?
LogopolisMike: (only slightly worried, sensing their was a punchline coming) No.
PunkAndy: Okay, because I thought I might be.
LogopolisMike: Why?
PunkAndy: Because I walked into the bedroom and the TV was on and French Stewart is on Days of Our Lives and I don't know what's happening.
Now my dear Andy is much bigger Third Rock from the Sun fan (at least a little) than he's ever been a Days-watcher. But I realized that this would be a weird turn for anyone. So I did a quick Google search (made all the quicker by Google Instant) and found this:
When Days of Our Lives needed someone to play the funeral director at a pet cemetery, they handed the part to French Stewart. The former 3rd Rock From the Sun funnyman will appear on the NBC soap September 27 and 29 in scenes involving Brady (Eric Martsolf) and the theft of his mom's remains.
See, it turns out that somebody's stolen Brady's mom's Isabella's remains. And for some reason he goes to a pet cemetery to dig up an orangutan to find them.
Isabella has been dead for 15 years....actually more... and it was actually one of Days few "so touching so we won't bring them back from the dead" deaths so God knows what this storyline is about. (And it's not like Isabella's ghost hasn't shown up many, many times over the years to give advice, help with exorcisms, etc.
But yes, Andy, that was French Stewart squinting in Salem today. And if you happened to hear him talking about the remains of a orangutan... that was real too.
No, really.
So the crew on the Today show was commenting on Katy Perry's video with Elmo that apparently won't be shown on Sesame Street because of outrage that it was too racy.
It's totally not. And Today agreed. Matt Lauer said he was wishy-washy in that he originally saw their point but now thinks its ridiculous. The only argument that can be even possibly be made is that Perry's outfit shows too much cleavage, and as Anne Curry (who I expect to be wise) said "Kids have seen those before."
But after a comment that basically said "People just like to manufacture outrage" -- which is something I fully support the media as often as possible -- Al Roker pointed out that it didn't matter anyway because "Katy Perry is a cartoon character already."
I see more skin like that at any Wal-Mart back home in much less appealing but more sexual ways. And I won't say you can't have a problem with that. but there's a not-very-fine-line when telling a woman who isn't dressing proactively that she is demeaning and misogynistic.
I guess if you're going to teach kids to be shamed about anything remotely sexual, you've got to start early. But don't these proud Americans realize how much they sound like their dreaded Taliban when they start insisting women be overly modest.
But I might be over-reaching. Meredith is probably onto something when she says that people are looking for a fight. So let me give them one. Bank of America is heavily promoting the fact that you can deposit money in their ATMs without a deposit slip or even an envelope - just put the money in and it will count it and add it to your account. Anyway, in the commercial, when people are rattling off their deposit amounts, one man -- who doesn't look like a drug dealer but you never know - says he's putting in 4 20s. Do we really want to send this pro-pot message to our kids? Should drug users really have convenient banking? Enough is enough, BoA.
(Please feel free to not get this joke.)
(Full disclosure time: despite my being a practicing homosexual and Rosen being, I think, the married mother of at least two children (one of both genders at least...not that I'm stalking), I'm over-the-top crazy about her -- at least her article-writing, podcast-hosting persona, so I may be too biased for critical commentary.)
Anyway, I was all ready to defend Rosin's original article and point out the flaws in this one but the Atlantic Wire's post captures blog postings that pretty much say what I'd have to say -- that there are points that are worthy of discussion but some miss the mark -- but much better. So read it.
(I'm afraid that this particular blog post DOES NOT
meet my self-imposed rule that I should create as much as I consume
media-wise. Pointers don't count. But still, read it. Despite my personal failure.)
If masculinity is best represented by the above, I can safely say, though it may change, it's in no danger of going anywhere. I promise. At least not while me and mine are around.
(I realize that even the child may not disqualify him for everyone; in fact, holding the child isn't a dealbreaker at all for me. It's just the sad, confused face. If I'm going to be promoting masculinity, no matter how hot the image, his son is going to be way happier than that. Like this:
Much better.)
So one of the most frequent search queries that brings people to Logopolis is to this post about How I Met Your Mother regarding a dirty joke that's answer wasn't given. I also have many people visiting weekly looking for the non-existent Chicago Pizza Explosion that Liz Lemon mentioned on 30 Rock. So in the interest of making this site more service-y, there was no Sir Walter Dibs.
In fact, the definition of dibs is:
So, if you want, you want to be more technical, please call 'dibstones' form here on out. Especially if a time eddy sweeps in and sends you back to the 17th century and end up playing a children's game. But of course, if that happens, they'll probably think you're a witch. So you'll have other things to worry about.
See also this Wikipedia article on dibs (aka "Bags/Bagsy, shotgun, shotty, gun and other variants") around the world -- including how it translates around the world.
This made me very sad yesterday.
Rich Cronin, lead member of LFO pop trio, dies of leukemia at 36.
"Summer girls come and summer girls goAnd now we continue the Logopolis Fall TV 2010 review, I've completed the fall schedule.
For your own ease and viewing pleasure, you can download a schedule to make your own plans here -- and you don't even have to buy a TV Guide. And here's my thoughts on Tuesday nights, again complete with unnecessary footnotes.
You're welcome.
Tuesday Spotlight
Countless reviews have called No Ordinary Family "Heroes meets The Incredibles" but anybody who thinks about it for a couple of seconds (and anyone who was seven years old in 1981) realizes its truly The Incredibles meets The Greatest American Hero, which is much more awesome -- especially if you were seven years old in 1981.
In fact, I've started writing them a theme song with the same tune, in case they need it:
Look at what's on ABC
I can't believe it myself
The Commish and his family, they got them some powers
Superheroes on TV for more hours
Believe it or not,
Heroes didn't kill the genre...
Okay, so that's all I've got. I'm quitting while I'm only really behind. And there's no way I'm going to get a rhyme for 'genre.'
Speaking of genres, what we're dealing with in No Ordinary Family is different than Heroes. It's the hour long superhero dramedy genre making a comeback not seen since The Greatest American Hero and... well, I guess that's it.
I'm surprised there haven't been more attempts, based on its popularity. Then again, the popularity I'm basing it on is my brother and I, who weren't television executives when we were seven and four years old, and we aren't now.
But even the tag line talks about new powers and no instruction manual, just like when Ralph Hinckley2 received the Suit from Venus. I'll probably give No Ordinary Family a chance; early reviews of its pilot script were lukewarm to good, and the pilot itself received some praise. I've liked superheroes long before Heroes fucked them up, and I'll like them for a long time after. And no matter what, it's almost guaranteed to be the third best superhero project involving Michael Chiklis
Other Tuesday Highlights
Last year, I had written a very detailed article in my head titled "Why It's Okay to Hate Glee" -- subtitled 'And why doing so doesn't make you homophobic.' But months later and having finally watched the final couple of episodes last week, I don't really care about what my main points were.3 As they say, haters gonna hate, but it's a fun show and there's lots worse things in the world for the kids to like than this show.
Hell, there's a much worse show focusing on teenagers singing pop hits on this very network, sometimes on the same night.
While I've only seen a few episodes of The Good Wife, in my mind, it's comprised of two different shows, which we'll call for simplcity's sake: The Good and The Wife. The Good is the legal drama starring Julianna Margulies, as a junior member of a firm and shows them work for clients in somewhat different ways than most legal dramas. They don't necessarily go from crime to trial to decision all in one episode in the time span of a week. They show what the lawyer does before their client gets arrested (and how that might be most important, especially if the client isn't guilty) or the appeal. While I'm sure it's probably not much more realistic, it tries different stuff and does it well with an interesting cast.
But then there's The Wife. And while I'm not comforable with the implied misogyny in labeling the bad portion The Wife, it fits. The original hook of the drama - the ongoing legal troubles of Chris Noth - a weird combination of Rod Blagojevich and Eliot Spitzer - and the conspiracy behind it - always seems, from somebody who only gets it in bits and pieces, ridiculous and contrived. And though those of us in Chicago and Illinois are painfully aware that these dramas can play out forever, from my perspective, it drags the rest of the show down.
I'm sure Parenthood would have been a good show had Maura Tierny not had to bow out of it for health reasons and Lauren Graham not taken over her role? But would I care about the show? No offense to Tierny, but probably not. Lauren Graham is the greatest part of a great cast and though the show can be torture as it sets up an uncomfortable family scene and spikes it into your face, it's still good stuff in a classic family drama sense. If you used to like Brothers and Sisters but don't anymore4, watch this.
Also New
Raising Hope
Actual conversation held this evening:
PunkAndy: So did you know that Martha Plimpton isn't a contemporary of the kid on that new show...
LogopolisMike: Yes...
PunkAndy: That's she's the mom?
LogopolisMike: Yes...
PunkAndy: So she's the grandmother of the baby.
LogopolisMike: Yes.
(Our heroes are stunned with oldness....And scene)
Yes, I know that their supposed to be a dysfunctional family and a teenage parent. But still. Creak goes the bones.
The commercials for this seemed intriguingly sweet, and when I realized
I was sold.
A more easy sell was Running Wilde, which had me at the commercial:
Gob and Felicty meet cute. Yes, please.
I actually know nothing about this series except that it apparently has a Arrested Development pedigree beyond Wil Arnett, so I'm in -- if only because, again, 30 minutes via TiVo is a really easy committment. But I have to say I find it rather ironic that Fox is selling Will Arnett so hard since they weren't AD's biggest fans. TV promoters are like cats -- so weird.
I know even less about Detroit 187, except leave it to CBS to have an hour long drama with inexplicable numbers and letters. Longtime Logopolis fans know I'm not your go to guy for cop shows that aren't The Wire. Some quick research shows that it used to have a mock-documentary conceit -- how original -- but they got rid of it in the pilot and reshot it, which means many scenes with people talking to each other seem like they should be confessing to a camera. So if you like to watch failure happen, I recommend Detroit 187. Maybe that's not fair, but neither is much about Detroit. How's that for biting political commentary along with your TV preview.
You're welcome.
1 Actually in the age of Google, there's often such things as 'countless'; in fact 'Heroes meets The Incredibles' returns 517 results, all on the first page describing No Ordinary Family. As of right now, "The Incredibles meets The Greatest American Hero" returns nothing. So maybe it's not as obvious as I thought.
2 Most may know that William Katt's character, Ralph Hinkley's name was changed because 12 days after the pilot of The Greatest American Hero aired, John Hinckley Jr. went and ruined the name. What's odd is that the creators of No Ordinary Family had originally named the patriarch of the heroic family Sirhan Sirhan before deciding against it.5
3 If I recall, they were "Little to no character development; characters do things that make no sense based on what we've learned before only because the plot -- or worse the song -- demands it, even though it's supposed to be a serial drama. Also, despite a great performance by the actor who plays him, Kurt is the biggest Mary Sue ever and they never really show you that just because you're the put-upon Homosexual with a capital H, you shouldn't get away with being a dick. But yeah, I don't recall exactly what bugged me.
4 It's like Brothers and Sisters used to be with 100% less gay and 100% more autism.
5 Okay, not really.
Tonight1 after How I Met Your Mother, CBS aired a Fall Preview Special. It felt like a weird throwback in this age of network websites and on-demand viewing and YouTube for a network to take 30 minutes of prime time programming to show what are essentially long commercials advertising their fall program schedules. It was horribly cheesy and horribly hosted by Jim Belushi and Jerry Romijn (née O'Connell), two actors who, no matter what your opinion of some of their work, you have to actually try to make not charming. But this thirty minutes really did that.
However, the special was helpful in that it made me realize
Back when networks and fall schedules meant something, I used to love the TV Guide(s) that covered the returning and new shows. I'd read them cover-to-cover. (Okay, I did that will all TV Guides I could get my hands on, but these were extra special.) Those same issues, if I had saved them, would probably be remarkable graveyards of ideas half-formed and brilliance that never saw the light of day.
I don't remember Fall Preview Specials from the television of my youth, except for the specials, usually run on a Friday night, that promoted each networks fall cartoon line-up. You see, kids, once upon a time, each network showed cartoons all morning on Saturday mornings, and they promoted the fuck out of them in the summer leading up to it. And it. was. AWESOME!
If you look through the Internet Archive and YouTube you can find that networks have been doing specials like these forever In fact, here's CBS's own 1968 special.
As you can see, if you watch it, there was this little show with an awesome theme song that was premiering back in 1968. Hawaii 5-O. And as they say, the more things change...
Monday Spotlight
The CBS promotional clips of the new Hawaii 5-02 made it look a whole lot better than I figured it would. Good for them -- if a show like this doesn't win you over by its style, it's sunk.
For one, any show where Scott Caan (the Danno who will be booking 'em) is possibly the third most attractive male lead is a show with lots of style points.3
But they try for a little substance too. In this version, McGarrett is a former military man (as he must be to be a lead male character on a CBS drama - I think it's a hidden passage in the PATRIOT Act) haunted by a past in which his father was killed by international drug lords in a weird scene in South Korea (looking suspiciously like Hawaii and/or the island from Lost.) Soon after, the governor of Hawaii is setting up a task force to fight international criminals in Hawaii. Hmmmm...McGarret is played by Alex O'Laughlin, that guy from that CBS vampire show that bombed (probably because the vampire wasn't a Navy captain), and he likes to surf, which is a good thing...
It's established in the promo that Danno, despite having moved to Hawaii, doesn't like the beach, which seems like, a mistake to me, considering the short Mr. Caan's love of the surf and... well...
Then again, I may not be the target demo.
Hawaii 5-O, Part Two: Less Hula But More Skin also stars Jin from Lost as a local cop and Grace Park as his rookie cop cousin who may or may not spend the entire pilot in a bikini.
Other Monday highlights
90210: Andrea Zuckerman Doesn't Live Here Anymore rolls into its third season with more skanks, psychos, and homosexuals than you can throw a stick at. Last season, before she became a budding pop star, one of the girls kissed Rumer Willis, and she liked it. This year, tennis player and player player Teddy Montgomery realizes he's gay. Which is great because, really, the actor who plays him, Trevor Donavan, has always reminded me of a gay porn star circa 1996. Fun fact, and speaking of Andrea Zuckerman, despite now playing a high school junior, Donavan would have been legal to be doing porn in 1996, since he'll turn 32 this year.
Nu-90210 is actually an entertaining little program by CW standards, as they've shed all the dead weight that was the original cast's haunting West Beverly and focus on the students -- all of whom think they are good people but are mostly, well, not. And the season finale ended with quite possibly the worst 'girl who cried wolf' turnaround ever when Naomi seemed like she might be getting raped by the teacher she falsely accused of sexual harassment. Also, there was a tribute to Emily Valentine, when crazy-ass Jasper burnt a boat that Liam had made. By hand. No weak-ass Homecoming Floats here. What I'm saying is: it takes little to please me.
Also, Gossip Girl is still happening in televisual form. And despite main characters finally losing their virginity/finally getting shot while being a gross sex tourist, I manage to not care and care a surprisingly similar amount -- so much that I really can't tell you what's happening on the show (Final half of season summary: Somebody old had a rare soap opera disease that could only be cured by a doctor who doesn't seem to practice much medicine and Jenny was horrid) and that I will probably watch it.How I Met Your Mother chugged along nicely last year, even though it's rabid fan-base (that, yes, actually exists) thought it sucked. I'm ready for it to live up to its title, though. I realized last night, when watching Rachel Bilson as the roommate of the heretofore unseen mother, they've really blown it by not having Sarah Chalke and/or Bilson being the mom. I really don't think we can ever meet the character because she's got such a mythical status. (Also, since Ted is the new Ross Gellar, his dream girl is bound to be super fucking annoying.) I think that'd be a fine way to end the show, literally ending the show at the moment he meets the mother. But if so, they need to just never mention the title of the show again until that episode.
Every summer I somehow accidentally start watching a show that I've never even known was on and then end up secretly setting up a Season Pass for it. This summer it was CBS's Rules of Engagement. Yes, really. I always thought it was just going to be the same "pretty women nag stupid guys" sit-com with an extra annoying dose of David Spade thrown in. And I guess, now that I describe it, that's exactly what it is. But it makes me laugh. And Megyn Price is very funny. And it's fun to imagine that Patrick Warburton is actually dressed as the Tick the whole time.
And it also has my favorite new trope: stupid guy with hot wife... wait, you say, that's not new. In fact, that's what we've been complaining about for years. But no, see, in this new trend, the stupid guy with the hot wife is actually hotter than his wife. (Oliver Hudson, above) So it's not exactly a long way, baby, but it's progress.
Also new:
Mike & Molly, which is not a sitcom about me and my sister, but instead a fictionalized version of The Biggest Loser, starring Sookie from Gilmore Girls. As much as I want to love anything Melissa McCarthy does, and was more hopeful seeing Swoozie Kurtz is involved, I'm not so sure about this one. The good news is that they don't seem to be making lots of horrible fat jokes in the commercials; the bad news is that the jokes in the commercials aren't funny.
Lone Star - about a con-man living a double life -- looks promising. But Fox has burned me too many times with serialized dramas. Any other network, I'd try. But Fox has burned me one too many times. (Wait until Thursday, when I really go off on this.) The pilot for this was in Vanity Fair last month, so I may try to watch this one so I can give it an early review.
Speaking of serialized dramas that did me wrong, NBC is replacing Heroes with The Event (with a backwards E in the middle). I'm not sure how it's different than any of the other incorrectly spelled globally weird copies of Lost that the networks keep trying out (see also FastForward without a space sometimes) Remember when the Rimbaldi shit on Alias seemed so new? (More on that on Thursday too.) I'll give it a pilot plus one try out and then we'll see (based on the show AND the ratings)
Finally, there's Chase... which is a procedural that looks like it moved over from TNT -(in that it has an awesome woman professional being a bad ass professionally. This is not a bad thing in theory. In fact, it's a good thing. But the commercials look like it will suck. It co-stars Jesse Metcalf, which is not a good sign, as Metcalf is good for three things, and since "playing off Eva Langoria" and "acting confused because of a spell a witch on Passions has cast" probably isn't going to happen on this show; he's just going to be dead weight. Pretty dead weight, but dead weight nonetheless.
1 Eagle eyed readers (and anyone who follows me on Twitter) will note that I actually posted this on Tuesday and post-dated it because I wanted to roll these out daily. Damn it, Labor Day, for screwing up my idea -- and also for making it so I couldn't find any ground beef at the store last night.
2 Wikipedia informs us that the title [of the 2010 version] contains a zero instead of the capital letter O in the title"; I would appreciate if we would all start calling it "Hawaii Five-Zero" then. Wikipedia also tells us that the name of the series comes from the fact that Hawaii was the 50th state to join the union, and referring to cops as the "five-o" comes from the series, not the other way around. Weird.
3 Just kidding Tweeder. You'll always be my fave.
So there are plenty of reasons not to like the new 90210. Some of the kids look older than me. Heck, some of them look older than Andrea Zuckerman looks now.
But the real reason to now watch this CW show (and not because we were supposed to boycott the CW three years ago) is because they weren't smart enough to schedule the Season 3 premiere for today.
Typing 90210 memories into Google, got this grinchy blog post from Paul
McNamara (no relation) at NetworkWorld, which I was amused by, in a
"every parade can be rained on" sort of way.
I'm going to venture a guess that there are software developers shaking their heads (not to mention Europeans) who remember the genesis of a another 1990's phenomenon: The dreaded Y2K problem, i.e. software glitches - both real and ultimately exaggerated - brought about by earlier coding that failed to account for the inevitability of 1999 passing into 2000.
For those who were there, today is 09/02/2010, TV show or no TV show.
On a more celebratory note, the ladies at GoFugYourself are hilariously marking the day, discussing Donna's virginity and hair mistakes and David Silver's blouses.
Like the original cast of 90210, I gradated in 1993. When I first moved to Chicago to live for the summer with a friend from high school, she was the tortured artist poet and I was the same but gay male version. We lived in Rogers Park and went to an Open Mic most Wednesday nights for her to read, and for me to support her play the "guess the bad rhyme" poetry listener. But we had a secret shame: we had to book it to the cafe (No Exit) because sign-up started at 8 but 90210 didn't end until then.
For those that don't know, Gaiman has written an episode for Season 6/32 of Doctor Who.
Okay, so it's only Monday, but it will take a few days for it to get to you.
We've been watching Soap and it's just as funny as I remembered it. We've burned through 3 seasons already and although the plots get ridiculous (Corrinne's possessed baby, Burt kidnapped by aliens), they are always held together by fine writing and tremendous acting. Seriously, the scene where Burt tries to convince Alien Burt to return to his ship so he can get his life back is just awesome. It sounds ridiculous, I'm sure, but there's a point where he's talking about how it's only fair because his life is so great now and it's not fair to take it away from him now because he's put in all the work. Susan Harris is amazing.
Fun fact: Susan Harris wrote a bunch for Norman Lear, not surprising, including writing the script for "Maude's Abortion." This is one of those facts that seems obvious once you know it.
But no more. It's back to school time and I'm ready to school again via the blog. So let's see how many days in a row I can go with actually posting two posts a day. Starting..... now!
This morning, I got up to move the car because (a) I am an awesome boyfriend and (b) I did not go to the grocery store last night but yet still got Cherry Coke, so it's the least I could do.
Anyway, as I drove around the block, I heard this story (read, listen) about Freddie Mercury which was great; there were two parts that I found interesting:
1) The awesome. The director of Freddie Mercury: The Untold Story Rudi Dolezal told this story: "We all know that Freddie Mercury had very strange teeth, and we would all ask ourselves, 'A guy who was that rich, why didn't he change his teeth?' He was very afraid that if he changed his teeth that his particular sound of [his voice] would go away. So he was more concerned with his voice than his looks, and I think that says a lot about the man."
1) Unsurprisingly, Adam Lambert was interviewed, and while I agreed with him on most of what he said and found he said it well -- at least enough to prove he's not just a pretty gay face -- especially some interesting stuff about why Mercury's voice was great (this piece being a part of NPR's 50 Great Voices, it was therefore on target), I couldn't get past the first bit I heard aka "The most self-serving quote ever."
There's definitely something missing in today's music scene. We don't have a lot of men on stage doing flamboyant or theatrical. We have a lot of female pop stars doing it, but where are the guys?
Yes,where
oh where
could he be?