Logopolis

This is crazy...not as crazy as the Master replacing the entire human race...but still, a bit crazy

2009-12-28T12:36:53-06:00

ChangeYourAvatarToTheMaster

There is no human race... only The Master race. Change your Twitter avatar to The Master, to support Doctor Who: The End of Time.

Ridiculous? Yes.

Did I do it? Of course.

You can too here.

Post ends here. Ad below. Please support out sponsors.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T06:29:13-06:00

(Thanks Jesse)

Sent from my iPhone

An early Christmas present from the makers of Glee

2009-12-23T07:43:19-06:00

From Michael Ausiello's Entertainment Weekly spoiler column:

Question: I’m dying to find out what song Jane Lynch will be singing on Glee (Ask Ausiello 12/16). Can I please have a hint?

Ausiello: You can have two: 1. Gene Kelly and 2. Fred Astaire.

Russell T. Davies on leaving Doctor Who

2009-12-23T04:10:07-06:00

This is great:

The first Doctor Who Christmas Special was transmitted on December 25 1965. The original Doctor (William Hartnell) was on the run from the Daleks. He landed in Twenties Hollywood, got caught up in a silent movie, then ended the episode by raising a glass and saying, “Merry Christmas to all of you at home” into the camera.

Sadly, that episode no longer exists. It was thrown out of the BBC archives many years ago, before they realised the value of old programmes. Perhaps there’s still a copy somewhere, gathering dust in a collector’s attic or retired technician’s shed. Have a look, would you? It would be a perfect Christmas present.

But then many years passed – cue the ancient creak of the Tardis engines, taking us through the vortex to 40 years later, and the next Christmas Special in 2005. And what a Doctor Who year that turned out to be. That’s when I clambered aboard the TARDIS (as head writer and executive producer of the series). I’d spent my entire childhood walking home from school and imagining the sight of that old, wooden police box waiting on the corner for me, its door ajar. Finally, in my forties, it arrived. And I ran towards it, as fast as I could, just like that little Swansea schoolkid of years ago.

It shouldn’t have worked. The things we once loved are gone. We’ve changed and grown and moved on, and the memory only cheats. Except for this time. Doctor Who broke all the rules – everyone said it would never work (yes, even me) but everyone was wrong. When it blazed back into life on March 26 2005, an entire generation remembered. “Oh yes, we love this,” they said, as though coming out of a fog. And a whole new generation said: “Wow!”, as though accusing us: why have you kept this secret all this time?

Of course, we couldn’t have been confident, before transmission. We worked on that first series, in the depths of BBC Wales, worrying that children’s heads were now full of Harry Potter and Star Wars, so they’d have neither the time nor the inclination for an old, Sixties Time Lord. But I think fear helped me. I was so convinced we’d never reach a second series that I poured my heart and soul into the first 13 episodes, in case they were the only ones ever to exist. The one-off 1996 television movie with Paul McGann had single-handedly fuelled a fan-industry of novels and comics for a decade, so I had to pack enough into my 13 stories to keep the fans busy until… well, forever. Because I honestly thought that if 2005 failed, the BBC would never bring the show back again. It was all or nothing.

As a result of that fear, the show was mad and bold and loud, as it ripped from 1869 to the Year 5 Billion, throwing in armies of Daleks, green, flatulent Slitheen, paper-thin Cassandra, Gas Mask Children and even a threat to Cardiff itself. Not to mention an unexpected regeneration. And much to our surprise – it worked. That fearful, adrenalised vigour is the very thing that people latched on to. A lot of television is quite calm, bar the odd car chase, but Doctor Who kicked open the door with a wild, rolling swagger. It’s not an accident that the Doctor’s very first word was “Run”. We haven’t stopped running since.

While we filmed the first series, the possibility of a Christmas Special was mentioned in passing by Big BBC Bosses, under the condition “if the show works”. I shrugged it off – Doctor Who could never be that popular, could it? Not Christmas Day popular, surely. In fact, I doubted it so much that I included a Christmas episode in the first run of 13 – “The Unquiet Dead” by Mark Gatiss, the one with Dickens and the Ghosts, ending with: “God bless us, every one!” It was transmitted in April, because I wanted it to seem odd, like those Thanksgiving episodes of Friends seen in July. What could be better, for a time-travelling show, than an episode which feels out-of-season?

But the new Doctor Who succeeded. The viewers came, stayed and grew, and kept growing for five years, with the ratings and reach going up and out. And the Christmas Special became a tradition. Now, it’s hard to imagine the holiday without it.

As a production team, we’d always have to take a deep breath before tackling a Christmas episode, because they’re bigger and bolder than normal adventures. We realised, early on, that we’d probably get our highest viewing figures of the year on December 25, because all the family – whether that’s an actual family, or the invented family of friends and loved ones, gathers together, and turns to BBC One.

We started with “The Christmas Invasion”, in which the voodoo-like Sycorax loom over London in their stone spaceship. Then, in 2006, we had the romcom capers of “The Runaway Bride”, followed by a disaster movie on board a space-bound Titanic, with “Voyage of the Damned”. Last year saw a giant Cyberman stomping over Victorian London in “The Next Doctor”. And this year, the story has become so massive, we’ve split it into two, with “The End of Time” straddling Christmas Day and New Year’s Day. The final episode stands at an extra-special, longest-yet duration of 75 minutes.

There’s more at stake than usual, this time. It’s a piece of Time Lord history, as David Tennant’s reign as the 10th Doctor comes to an end. It’s been the greatest joy and honour to work with that man, and that team, over the past few years, and I hope I’ve done them proud with my final script – because I’m leaving too, handing the programme over to the safe hands of Steven Moffat. Though it’s damning with faint praise to call Steven “safe” – he’s the man who invented the Weeping Angels, the Clockwork Droids, the skulls-in-spacesuits, and “Are you my mummy?”. If I were you, I’d go and buy a brand new sofa in the January sales – the whole family’s going to need it.

We actually finished filming David’s final story in May and then I went to live and work in Los Angeles. Though even there, there’s no escape – the offices of BBC Worldwide have got a Dalek standing on duty in the lobby. Just this week, Quincy Jones walked past it and Harry Shearer posed alongside the metal monster to have his photograph taken.

But I’ll be coming home for Christmas. To see family and friends, of course, but let’s be honest (sorry dad), it’s mainly to see Doctor Who! OK, I’ve seen the episodes 20 times already – we only finished the post-production work on Wednesday December 12, with my final note saying: “Take down the crunch of those turkey bones a little” – but I can’t miss the actual moment of transmission. The Master, played by John Simm, is back – dying and deadly, and harbouring his most outrageous scheme yet; Wilfred Mott (Bernard Cribbins) is being plagued by strange dreams and mysterious visitations; his granddaughter Donna (Catherine Tate) dares not remember her travels with the Doctor, or she’ll die on the spot; and a mysterious Woman in White, played by the legendary Claire Bloom, brings ominous warnings of death and destruction to come. What a Christmas! Though whether there’s a regeneration on its way, or whether we’ve got some final tricks up our sleeves, you’ll just have to wait and see.

And then I’ll move on, to become a viewer, like the rest of you. And bear in mind, as a dyed-in-the-wool Doctor Who fan, I haven’t been able to watch an unspoilt new series since 1989. I can’t wait.

I’ll take away the happiest of memories. Working with Chris and David, Billie, Freema, Catherine and John. The “monster parades”, where we’d try out new aliens in a Cardiff Portakabin. The day a Dubai docker destroyed our double-decker bus, which was the setting for the entire story. Hooting with laughter at our first attempt at Water Monsters, which involved putting a leaky rubber ring on someone’s head. Watching cars arrive on set, bringing the biggest names for the guest cast – Penelope Wilton, Kylie Minogue, Richard Dawkins, Derek Jacobi, Lesley Sharp, the list is endless.

I will miss this job, so very much. And that’s the perfect time to leave. I think that Swansea schoolkid would be happy with what I’ve done. And somewhere out there, right now, is another child, watching with wide-open eyes, who will one day walk into the offices of BBC 3D HQ, to pitch his or her brand-new version of the Doctor’s 21st incarnation. Because this show, like the very best of legends, will never, ever die.

The view out my bedroom window

2009-12-20T16:08:42-06:00

And this isn't even the "nice" side. The view out the front door, where we saw the dolphins this morning is maybe even better. My grandma doesn't like that you can see the oil rigs but I think the reminder of people makes it all the more beautiful.

Sent from my iPhone

Vote Early, Vote Often

2009-12-17T12:37:01-06:00

Jessica and Julie from King is a Fink are incredibly awesome, and I could post about something cool or interesting they've done or said probably every week. But this week is particularly important because

(A) they've been blogging a series of essays about "Film, Illusion & Spectatorship" that are really wonderful. They're up to 1, 2, 3 parts and have promised a few more.

(B) Their short "Sound Sleeper" is viewable and competing over at The War of Films. Check it out here and vote for it by pressing the + sign above the movie

Speaking of, on a much, much smaller scale, two stories I wrote for Twitter for the "Tweet Me A Story" contest were selected for the top 25 from my bracket for the first round. You can read them all and vote for your favorite here. You can vote for as many as you want, so feel free to vote for whatever you want my two; here they are, inc case you're curious:

--------------------------------------------------------

She thought her nightmares might stop if she followed the dark path she saw in her sleep. They did. Because corpses nap without dreaming.

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For 4 nights it didn't stop; Pollywood Square squawked “Circle gets the square. Circle gets the square!" The 5th night: Oven got the parrot.

Tucson, Arizona is Where the Wild Things Are

2009-12-12T20:01:16-06:00

Thanks to everyone for their very special birthday wishes.

Today, I picked up a birthday package from Arizona full of beautiful cards and gifts, including:

a pair of glasses which had been thought lost on a trip to Thanksgiving two years ago but were found behind the toilet in the RV (don't ask)
a subscription to Paste
Men of Tomorrow: Geeks, Gangsters, and the Birth of the Comic Book By Gerard Jones
An album of wonderful photos, but none so wonderful as Andy's Halloween costume from this year. Even though I wouldn't meet him for two decades, it's not hard to picture Andy as an imaginative, acting-out 11 year old sent to his room without any dinner, but this makes it even easier:

A message regarding Glee that I sent to my dearest friends

2009-12-10T19:05:48-06:00

> If this show existed in 2001 it's good parts would make is feel like > our homes were being bugged by television executives. But less than > a decade later, this is a programme (UK spelling intentional) that I > don't have TiVo space for. Yay America!!!!

>

> Love

> Mike

>

> PS

> Please fwd this to Andy J because apparently he doesn't exist in my > iPhone's contact list and he might be the only one who gets this joke.

>

Latest End of Time Trailer

2009-12-08T13:56:12-06:00

Like the little boy who sneaks around looking for his Christmas presents (which I was not), I'm having a hard time avoiding any Doctor Who spoilers for Christmas.

Actually my spoilage has not been that bad, and I've probably been worse in the past. And I suppose these -- which are being released by the BBC -- aren't going to be that bad since they're official, and the BBC is very much unlike the promo departments from NBC or Fox as far as giving away the good stuff in the commercials.

Anyway, I forgot to post this one when it came out earlier this week and though only about two regular readers even care, I'm still posting it here for them. And for me.

"I thought it'd be cleaner."

2009-12-08T08:30:35-06:00

So many reasons why I can't wait until Christmas.

Sent from my iPhone

Does Anyone Want to Spend $2,750 on my Christmas Present?

2009-12-07T18:35:00-06:00

Because I would really like this.

Doctor Who Pinball Machine

I used to play this at the mall arcade all the time in junior high...and by that, I guess mean high school since I was driving myself there.

A Bad Case of the Mondays Leads to Fictional Hero Worshiping

2009-12-07T12:11:47-06:00

So I woke up later than planned today, which was no big deal, but it was also the first snowy morning. Which was pretty but I'm still complaining. Because, as somebody said on Twitter this morning, if you don't complain now, you can't complain when it's still snowy in April. Actually, that's not what he said, but that's how I take it. Either you hate snow or you don't. It's black and white. Actually, it's just white.

The Metra was 35 minutes late as well. (Granted, I was planning on catching the one that came 15 minutes after it, so I was only 20 minutes late, but I had to deal with those cranky people who had been waiting for a while.) And then when I tried to get on the bus, the CTA driver shut my arm in the door when I tried to stop him from closing the doors. I'm going to assume he didn't see me behind the person who I let go ahead of me. And that he didn't mean to drive off with my arm shut in the door. He pulled away slowly so I was able to get my arm out so thanks for that. No, seriously, thanks. Because missing that bus meant I took my employer's shuttle (which I thought I didn't have a ticket for, but I found it in my wallet.) So seriously, CTA bus driver of the #60 bus, thanks for almost killing me. I got to work faster that way.

Also, I'm quitting smoking cold turkey as of yesterday. So today was destined for suckage. But I feel like if I get through the wall today, I'll be fine. This wall, however, is an itchy wall.

But really, as the twitter account of Barney Stinson (thanks, Mel) said this morning:

Sometimes I wake up mon. morning and think, ugh another full week until the weekend.That stinks.Then I realize that I'm awesome and it's ok

This not only made me cheer up but it also caused me to wonder: is the fictional character I should most often try to base my life on? Of course, the answer is no. However, I feel like if I shot for Barney but still had the "handicap" of me being a decent person, I'd end up hitting a target somewhere along where I'd want to be.

Thinking more about this, I also realized that I wanted to be, as always, more like the Doctor.

And then there's gay old me.

And then I realized

Barney Stinson + The Doctor + gay

is a character that already exists.

Captain Jack Harkness

Just saying.

But you know, there's worse things I could do.

Also, I'm awesome. So today will be okay.

What do these songs have in common?

2009-12-03T12:35:40-06:00

"Girls & Boys" by Blur
"Like a Prayer" by Madonna
"Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi

These are all songs I thought would be great for me to karaoke at Cafe Bong last night. The monthly Metafilter meetup ended up there last night after meeting at the Billy Goat and then bowling.

Other tunes I ended up holding the microphone for/being drafted to sing, even if I didn't select them... or even know the words.

"Kiss" by Prince (which, in an evening of sucking at karaoke, I really suprised myself at being horribly bad at)
"The Way We Were" by Barbra Steisand (which I think was a gay thing, and I made it a hate crime)
"Material Girl" by Madonna (which was the opposite of a hate crime in its awesomeness)
"Gloria" by Laura Branigan
More that I do not remember.

There is possibly no better way to spend a Wednesday in Chicago than singing karaoke in a bar that you've taken over on a machine that's instructions and buttons are all in Korean, while the lyrics are displayed over softcore pornograpy. (The breasts and the posing can be somewhat distracting, even if -- or maybe especially if -- they aren't necessarily your thing.) Anyway, a good time was had by all, I think, though somebody did deface a sign in the bathroom at the Billy Goat (see below, though the picture quality was a little iffy, since I tried to be discrete because, unlike some bars in Chicago, taking pictures in the bathroom at the Goat isn't something that's looked highly upon.)

2009-12-03T10:18:21-06:00

Mike McNamara

links for 2009-12-02

2009-12-02T12:04:46-06:00

Shitty First Drafts

(tags: writing)
Ingenious Pac Man ring-set - Boing Boing

The only thing that could make this better would be a big giant diamond power pellet. Oops diamonds are bad. Um, pearl. Whatever. It's pretty awesome as is.

(tags: pacman ruby crafy awesome)

Putting the Clean Water Back in Christmas...wait that's not how that works

2009-11-30T10:54:11-06:00

Even more so than Black Friday, Cyber Monday seems like a designation created so that the news media can "report" and we are reminded to do our capitalist duty and shop, shop, shop. There was something about the way Matt Lauer was leading with this story this morning that really made this clear to me, but I can't quite tell you what and why it bothered me so.

Especially because on this issue I'm conflicted, I love to shop for others (and myself obviously but that's not what we're talking about...) and I love to buy and I pretty much think capitalism works, and even if it doesn't it's the system with which were stuck, and that if all of the sudden Christmas spending stopped we'd be in a world of hurt. Like the banks, Christmas is too big to fail.

But I also think though of us who feel icky about that are obligated to do something about those icky feelings rather than suppress them with another glass of eggnog. This isn't done by making other people feel crappy about how they choose to celebrate the holiday season -- because honestly, the only thing I'm more tired of than Christmas commercialization is those who complain about it but do nothing, but instead to be the change we want to see in the world and to refocus our priorities on an individual level.

If you're stuck for ideas or intrigued by this one, check out Advent Conspiracy. No matter what your religious affiliation or beliefs, they do good work. (Personally, I think even if you celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday, there is still a meaning to Christmas that is more important than the spending, and hopefully, this is true for you too and not just something I've created after watching too many made-for-TV movies and very special episodes where that are rip-offs of A Christmas Carol) I'm having trouble posting their video here, but the one I meant to is on this page, scroll to Enter the Story. Some of the quoted dollar figures seem a little wonky to me, and if you agree, please try not to get too hung up on that. I'm not sure this is the type of thing that can be dealt with in dollars and cents. But if you've got to deal with numbers, instead think about how nice a glass of clean water tastes to you and multiply it by about 450 billion. That's probably how it tastes to those who need it most.

P.S. For the first time in a long time, I'm really psyched about the holidays this year -- this is not solely due to, but in no small part because, Andy returns to Chicago for a visit on Christmas Day. (Santa's obviously bringing me what I want, despite the fact that I haven't been a very good boy.)

Like "Chicagoland", the "holiday season" is a term for which it is hard to nail down the forever sprawling borders. But for me, this year, it's from Thanksgiving until a few days into the New Year. And since Thanksgiving with my family was fairly awesome, I have no reason to think the rest of the"holiday season will be any different. In other words, you can expect lots of good cheer postings around here peppered into the typical world commentary.

Speaking of, if I had a video camera and lipstick at work, I would totally do a You Tube homage to that guy who loved Britney (Chris something or another, I've forgotten his name and refuse to Google it), and say "Leave Tiger alone!" though I suppose if his wife was scratching his face and swinging golf clubs at him, this is a matter for the police, like it or not. That does not, however, make it a public matter.

links for 2009-11-26

2009-11-26T12:06:10-06:00

'I Once Dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter at a Fancy Dress Party'

Or what does Gawker think Prince Charles said to Susan Sarandon in this picture. Also, D-A-A-M-N Susan Sarandon is 63..amazing

(tags: PrinceCharles Gawker SusanSarandon)

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T00:01:00-06:00

Is this the worst thing ever or the best thing ever? I can't decide.

Seriously, it's like the two parts of my brain that are constantly fighting each other have just sprung from my head like Athena (I think) from Zeus and put themselves in a YouTube clip.

Of course, it's a YouTube clip of Promises, Promises from the Ed Sullivan Show years before I was born. But if

But seriously though, I bet office parties were a lot more awesome back when there were "girls" from the "memograph department", as if Mad Men hadn't already taught us that.

Come to think of it, if the Mad Men series finale doesn't end in a giagantic dance number where the cast does this, the whole show had been a waste.

At any rate, Happy Thanksgiving everybody. It's Turkey Lurky Time, indeed.

The 6 Talking Points You Need When Discussing Adam Lambert Today @adamlambert

2009-11-24T15:31:05-06:00

Lifted from

Re-quoted for truth.

EdenLake Any1 think adam lamberts 'afraid of gay label' comments were a set up for the ama performance he had planned?
kingisafink Adam Lambert waited to come out until his Rolling Stone cover story was on newstands. His onstage snogging and grinding = NOT spontaneous
kingisafink At the same time, Adam Lambert's onstage snogging & grinding DO NOT make him a threat to society, kids or str8 marriage @thisisnotarealstory
MCMikeNamara In 2059, LambertOutrage2009 will be like how we now view filming Elvis above the waist: amused at the era's innocence over this hubbub
MCMikeNamara But if anyone is calling Lambert the Gay Elvis in 50 years (unless he goes from hot to fat), I'll still be disappointed in society
Sandmonkey Ok..who is adam lambert? and what did he do on stage? I heard the words gay and oral sex during the American Music Awards...I am intrigued.

The last one isn't exactly a talking point but I think it provides an awesome perspective and most certainly, illustrates exactly why somebody might court such controversy the same week his album came out.

UPDATE

Speaking of perspectives, here's two more tweets that show how the rest of the world (or at least people who will probably never find their way into my twitter stream) thinks:

XXXXXX y they sayin #shameonyouABC?@XXXXXX cuz they let that fag niggah Adam lambert kiss a dude on stage & rubb his dick on a otha dudeface

Classy. Handles have been scrubbed from this one because...well, they didn't ask for their ignorance to be mocked, and more importantly, I don't need their self-searching Internet hits to come back to me and get a cap in my ass (Okay, sorry for the casual bigotry, but, um, they started it...) though honestly,

getting shot in a drive by because of
a blog post regarding
a tweet about
Adam Lambert

would, on at least 4 obvious levels and perhaps more, possibly make me an icon for this decade.. and maybe the whole 21st century if we're not careful.

And finally, from a somebody who I first assumed was a babygay based on their user picture but it turns out that was a picture of Justin Bieber (who I didn't know was a person until yesterday when he caused riots and a joke about him on Chelsey Lately made me do a spit take in bed); the tweet is actually from a real life teen girl:

XXXXXX Adam Lambert looked appauling out there, darn pig :O show ur gayness in a less festy way, uggh. i used to LOVE him when he was "SHY"

Remember when all the little girls (and admittedly many other demographics) turned on Miley (and many other female pop stars before her) because she stopped matching their perception of her, even though that perception didn't EVER match reality. Well, pop culture now has a gay version. You've come a long way baby.

First Openly Gay Racehorse To Compete Sunday

2009-11-24T14:18:45-06:00

First Openly Gay Racehorse To Compete Sunday

And to keep taking a bold stand for gay rights (and not at all to keep the controversy going a bit longer to sell more albums), Adam Lambert is going to be riding him.

At least, I hope that's the subject/object order that phrase should have.

Via Stephen

Thankful (To Not Be These Internet Folks)

2009-11-24T13:29:10-06:00

I keep reading everywhere over the past two days two separate stories which have nothing in common except for

their recent online ubiquity
their high winning percentage in the "You think you have it bad? Well, I..." game

Entry #1: "You think you have it bad. Well, I found out my biological father was Charles Manson."

This, my friends, is a very OTT example of "You can't pick your family." Except, of course, Matthew Roberts did, in a way, make a choice by deciding to track down his biological parents. I seriously wonder how many adopted kids might decide, regarding their search for their birth parents, after hearing this story, to leave it well enough alone.

Roberts, a Gandhi-adoring, no-bug-killing vegetarian DJ, said: "It was like finding out your father is Hitler." Geez, a guy carves one swaztika into his forehead and it's "Hitler, Hitler, Hitler..."

Entry #2: I have decided not to actually describe for the sanity of certain readers. For the love of God (and you ever being to sleep again), Andy, please DO NOT read this story. As I am to horrible eye phobia, Andy is to this.

Of course, you may have heard about it. A certain diagnosis for 23 years. Except not. I only have one comment about the idea of this happening to me:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Seriously, terrifying.

There's no failure in trying...except when there is

2009-11-23T15:47:57-06:00

Yoda says "Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." And while I get he meant, sometimes you can do and do and do. But it still ends up not done. And all you have is the try.

I spent this weekend working on a screenplay for a not-really-that-big-of-a-deal but yet it drove me up the wall with anxiety and fear or...something... not failure, just some weird mental road block. And many hours later, I ended up with 20 pages that I couldn't get down to the required five. And while yes, if you wanted to be argumentative, you could say "yes, I could" have done it. Yes, one could. But I couldn't. Every version I cut together was so much worse than the one before and I got so panicky that by the time I went to bed at 2 AM, I was physically exhausted. I woke up with no alarm 3 hours later, convinced that I thoughts to fix it, hoping I sneak turn it i late. But like so many times before, the dream was gone by the time I got out of bed. But I still gave it a couple of hours more effort. Long story short, I finally threw in the towel at 7:30 and called in sick to work, feeling totally guilt free about as my sleep-deprived body was revolting, my bowels were irritable and overall I just felt sick

I'm reminded about something my dad probably used to say -- I certainly can imagine him saying it -- every time he was trying to teach me something I couldn't manage (hitting a ball, throwing a spiral, driving, lighting a match on the side of a box...pretty much all the manly arts): "Why are you making something so easy so hard for yourself?" And while my dad would have said it gruffly -- and again, I'm not sure he did say this but I am he sure he thought it and said it with his eyes -- he was never cruel and it was communicated, in a way that obvious even to a bratty kid, with a frustration born out of love for his eldest son rather than the scolding internal voice I use on myself. I think maybe, on this particular topic, it's time for me to man up and be more like my dad, and at least give myself a break. I'll do that later -- for now, self-pity wallow!

Speaking of James Joseph, this morning I got a message that said he was really glad I was taking writing so seriously again. And though, given I woke up to it after a sleepless night of feeling failure, after having more time to process it, it feels like a win. I don't mean to give you the impression that my dad ever did anything that would drive me to suicide after he got Robin Williams fired from my prep school. It's just that, in their imagination when they win the lottery, my mom sets me up so I can write without pressure, but I always thought my dad would still send me to law school. So it's a win to hear otherwise. That, and I suppose I should be grateful that I have a hobby that gets me so riled up.

There are far more details about this process in my original take -- but it was even more livejournal-esque than this one. But I'm going to post this so I don't have to keep re-telling this embarrassing story until I feel better about it -- though writing it all out has helped me process my insanity -- so I guess score one more for keeping on truckin' in the writing department. Thanks for your support and we now return Logopolis to its snarky cultural commentary.

Did you see Adam Lambert last night?!? I didn't but I got to see The View walk about it. Obviously, we know which I side of said debate I fall on. Joy Behar and I are both totally in favor of simulated male face fucking being shown during prime time. Okay, not really, but even Elizabeth said that maybe your kids should be in bed at 10 CST/11 EST; however, previously when she said that if Lambert keeps doing stuff like this, people will not focus on his music, she really came close to sounding like she didn't mean he should "stop with the pop theatrics" (because he totally got famous by being low key) but instead "stop being such a faggot"; given a few hours to mull it over, I don't think that's what she meant, but her voice makes it impossible for me to give her the benefit of the doubt as I hear it. Barbara didn't have an opinion on the matter but was just mad that, it being morning, she couldn't show the clip on her show because as we know from her biography, it's her long time dream to be the largest purveyor of pornography.

But you know who's most excited about the Glamby Lamby going all gay rapey in his performance? J Lo -- her falling on her most famous asset was set to be the big story of the night.

First Clip from Doctor Who: "The End of Time" aka 'How I Ignored My Impending Death By Saving Planets and Fucking British Royalty' by Dr. John Smith

2009-11-20T16:37:05-06:00

As part of this year's Children in Need telethon, the BBC released 3 minutes from the upcoming Doctor Who Christmas special. It seems the Doctor has recovered from his breakdown that caused my breakdown, is suppressing his emotions and rather than dealing with his own emotions regarding his mortality is gallavanting around, having misadventures, and making bad sexual decisions. (It's just shocking that I'd identify with this character, eh?)

But at least now we know why Elizabeth I was pissed at him at the end of :The Shakespeare Code". (Hint: Good Queen Bess is always known as "The Virgin Queen"; can you imagine that joke making it on a family show in the US. Probably not, but since the last episode ended with <spoiler> a suicide that was more or less caused by the show's hero<</spoiler>, it's pretty obvious we're dealing with a different standard.

Mike's Doctor Who "The Water of Mars' Mental Breakdown Audio Commentary

2009-11-20T13:01:41-06:00

So since Andy and I couldn't watch the latest episode of Doctor Who together, I was record a commentary of myself watching it for him to enjoy when I sent him the DVD. But this plan neglected a really important point:

Since when do we allow talking during a new episode of Doctor Who?

So I gave up on it after a while. However, at a few different points, I was recording during the emotionally upsetting end. I wasn't kidding when I tweeted earlier this week that I cried and yelled for the last 25 minutes for the hour

These contain some spoilers, but even if you don't care about Doctor Who, if you ever want hear somebody being a complete and total freak about a fictional universe (and violating the laws thereof), I recommend it.

I'll admit this is pretty much the audio equivalent of the Star Wars kid or the fat guy who breaks his above ground pool outside his trailer on America's Funniest Home Videos embarrassment-wise. But I don't care. I'm glad I can care so much.

I also recorded the entire last 5 minutes, but the file is too big to email to myself from my iPhone, so I can't figure out how to get it off. And sadly, it has the best moment -- where Dusty starts meowing at me out of concern, and I eventually respond with my new favorite phrase:

It's okay. It's just a show. Crying daddies are okay.

Anyway, here they are:

Please stop. It's so sad. It's just...

It just dropped on his face. Oh God, don't make him listen.

No, don't say what you're going to say!

"Can You And I Be Friends?"

2009-11-19T21:18:36-06:00

From here on out, in honor of his guest starring role as Cathy Geisse's lawyer on 30 Rock, Teddy Ruxpin will be the go to joke whenever I don't actually post for a few days.

I may not keep up with this. There are no rules at Logopolis -- like check-in at an Italian sex party.

Look at those creepy eyes and that futuristic space astronaut eunuch suit. How did little kids not think he was going to maul them or kidnap them to the Spacebear Mothership Time Machine in the middle of the night? Seriously, I bet this bear is why [insert inappropriate school shooting reference or other tragedy that happened to people younger than me here] happened.

links for 2009-11-18

2009-11-18T12:06:05-06:00

Abortion and the health-care battle : The New Yorker

For those of us who have embarrassingly been turning a blind eye, relatively simple explanation of the damage that the Stupak amendment will do to women's rights ."But, as Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg observed not long ago, abortion rights “center on a woman’s autonomy to determine her life’s course, and thus to enjoy equal citizenship stature.” Every diminishment of that right diminishes women. With stakes of such magnitude, it is wise to weigh carefully the difference between compromise and surrender."

(tags: politics health healthcare newyorker abortion)

links for 2009-11-17

2009-11-17T12:06:05-06:00

Sarah Palin's Goin' Rogue An American Tail, Also: A Review

Gawker goes all East Coast liberal establishment on She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named's new "'auto'-biography" and the results are truly wonderful: " It can best be described as a stunning piece of experimental metafiction. What if a rote, ghost-written political memoir by a second-place vice presidential candidate was penned by a Faulknerian unreliable narrator? It's like The Turn of the Screw, only the ghost is Steve Schmidt. Our protagonist, "Sarah Palin," deliberately withholds and exaggerates, even dropping into italicized internal monologue to signify that a real whooper's on the way."

(tags: SarahPalin Gawker)
Secret Diary of a Call Girl not so secret anymore

"Secret Diary of a Call GirlThe anonymous blogger "Belle Du Jour" whose career as a call girl spawned the British and Showtime TV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl has outed herself. Apparently she wanted to do it because an ex-boyfriend threatened to do it for her. Her real name is Brooke Magnanti and she's a child health researcher at the University of Bristol. She worked as a escort for over a year while pursuing her Ph.D." And here I was thinking she was stuck in a parallel world with her mom, her parallel universe dad, and the blue-suit wearing half-human one-hearted faux Doctor. Guess you shouldn't trust everything you see on TV.

(tags: SecretDiaryofaCallGirl tv sex BelleduJour PrettyButNotAsHalfAsCuteAsBilliePiper)

Mike's Chop Chop Shop

2009-11-16T12:45:27-06:00

There's the prettiest tall boy in the elevator with me right now with his lovely hair pulled back in a pony tail. My kingdom for a pair of scissors.

Sent from my iPhone

#mathowielove: Adoration and Prayers for Friends You've Never Met

2009-11-13T11:30:52-06:00

If you follow twitter trends, you may have noticed last night a lot of popularity around the tag #mathowielove, which depending on your level of Internet culture knowledge, may have led you to ask, "What is mathowie and why should I love him?" and why did this make Mike so sad?

Matt Haughy (aka mathowie) is the founder of MetaFilter -- probably my favorite location on the web. I've never met him, but as User #1, moderator, and the keeper of the place, I've always known him to be funny, smart, kind, and nifty. Moreover, MeFi is, seriously, probably the best example of an Internet community in existence. Though it's only recently that I've met people from the site in person, I feel like the community of people there are some of the best around and that, as a community, they teach each other to be better citizens of the world -- both online and off. And this place has been built because of the efforts of Matt (and others) and as a long time lurker who eventually paid $5 to join a few years back to get the honor of posting, I feel like it has given so much more to me than I can explain. It's comfort. It's challenging. It's so many good things that the Internet should be. And it's all in words. It's made me a better thinker, a better writer, and a better person. And that all goes back to Matt, a person I've never met, and really never even had any personal communications. It's just like I've been invited to the same wonderful ongoing party at his house, and he always keeps the beer cold and the pretzel bowl full, and all I have to do is show-up.

It's strange that yesterday I would thank those who write on the web whom I've never met and raise the question of who you'd consider a friend because when I read yesterday evening that Matt had posted a medically themed tweet and I then went to read it - "I passed out at home had a seizure, went to ER, did a cat scan and they found a growth. Awaiting surgery in the next week to remove it. ", I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, and I didn't know how to explain to the folks whom I'd just met why I was obviously making a bad news face. Fortunately, it was a patient group associated with my new church, so a group of new real life friends told me they'd pray for a person who is important to me whom I've never met. Relationships are so important, no matter how strange or ill-defined they seem sometime. But I digress...as usual.

Matt's going into surgery today (I think), so please send positive energy or prayers or whatever it is you're comfortable doing. Even if you've never read MetaFilter (your loss), if you enjoy Logopolis, you've been touched by it because not only do I often get links from there, but it's also shaped how I write online and inspired me to keep doing it.

Best wishes to Matt and his family.

UPDATED: Matt's flu -- and the possibility that hormone treatments might make cutting his head open unnecessary -- has, at least, delayed the surgery. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

(The pictures here are not of his family but instead the former is the Last Supper recreation at the Billy Goat Tavern, where visiting Mefi moderator cortex is in the Jesus spot -- look for yours truly a few seats to the right -- and the latter is cortex, mathowie, and jessamyn, most of MeFi's moderaters. These pictures have very little to do with the subject at hand, but doing a search for something to illustrate this post led to them, and they please me.)

Wish I'd Written This, Volume 234,385

2009-11-12T16:09:48-06:00

The worst thing about being such a voracious blog reader is that you so often come across turns of phrase or whole articles that you adore but also gives you a little stabby feeling inside because you're so jealous that you did not write it yourself. Exhibit A, in bold below, Mark Evanier says:

Daniel Larison writes about people who want to claim that Barack Obama doesn't love his country. Larison's a pretty solid Conservative but I find myself agreeing with him often and I agree with him on this. I also think that a lot of folks who profess to love America love it the way Ike Turner loved Tina.

Evanier comes up with these quite often, which I suppose is why he's a big-blog-having, real-produced-script-writing, cool-comic-penning, Garfield-word-giving Writer-with-a-capital-W and I'm...not.

But back to this specific idea, it is totally a formulation I want to steal. Maybe I'll just update it with Rihanna and Chris Brown to make it my own and fresher for the kids. Or not.

But seriously, thanks to all the great writers I read daily -- whether they be my real life friends or Internet strangers who feel like friends. I have no idea what I'd do without you, and I really don't want to imagine.

links for 2009-11-11

2009-11-11T12:05:21-06:00

Carrie Prejean - The celebrity sex tape jumps the shark

"The once-scandalous celebrity sex tape took its fatal jump over the shark this week, after gay-marriage-opposing, famously breast-implanted author and Miss USA contestant Carrie Prejean confirmed the existence of a naughty tape of herself."

(tags: Salon CarriePrejean HypocriticalBitchWithFakeTits)
Online Video Lectures and Course Materials — Open Yale Courses

"Open Yale Courses provides free and open access to a selection of introductory courses taught by distinguished teachers and scholars at Yale University. The aim of the project is to expand access to educational materials for all who wish to learn."" Wow it's like classes and lectures and stuff I've been longing to do for free. I feel like I've just solved my 'fear of winter blahs' problem.
Open Yale Courses reflects the values of a liberal arts education. Yale's philosophy of teaching and learning begins with the aim of training a broadly based, highly disciplined intellect without specifying in advance how that intellect will be used. This approach goes beyond the acquisition of facts and concepts to cultivate skills and habits of rigorous, independent thought: the ability to analyze, to ask the next question, and to begin the search for an answer.

(tags: education yale video courses free online)

links for 2009-11-10

2009-11-10T12:06:07-06:00

CBS picking up Shit My Dad Says from Twitter account - TV Squad

I'd like to mock the idea of creating a sitcom based on 140 character texts. But ShitMyDadSays is so funny it's one of the few non-friend Twitter accounts to which I have subscribed. So good for him.

(tags: twitter tv ShitMyDadSays cbs)

The Secret Former Life of Jon Hamm (spoiler alert: he's always been ***)

2009-11-06T13:32:15-06:00

So he's such a talented actor on Mad Men and especially because he was able to play opposite of Tina Fey's horrid social awkwardness on his 30 Rock guest spots, it's easy to imagine that Jon Hamm grew up as a big ugly dork and blossomed into handsome perfection late in life.

But as this picture of him as a high school football player shows, your imagination would be way, WAY off.

Damn, Hamm. Or actually...

D-a-a-a-a-a-a-m-n, Hamm!

(*** = hot)

Steak House or Gay Bar?

2009-11-05T10:22:35-06:00

In the grand Internet tradition (which means it's something that has existed for at least two weeks and in two semi-popular incarnations) of displaying a oddly named thing and asking you decide if its X or Y -- like "Cheese or Font?", I now present the link to the much more wonderful

Steak House or Gay Bar?

Can't decide which joke to go with here, so you've got a choice:

It's tougher than you think. (referencing steaks)
It's harder than you think. (referencing activity that may happen in gay bars)

Turkey Butter

2009-11-05T09:51:50-06:00

Not butter made from turkey because that would be ridiculous... whereas this is squarely at the corner of stupefying and fabulous.

This post could also have the subject like "This is why the terrorists hate us: Thanksgiving edition", but I don't care. I will be looking for this at every Jewel and Dominicks between now at the Wednesday before Thanksgiving so that I may take this home as my gift to my mother's table. Flowers, schmowers, this is a real, practical centerpiece.

How to Make a Horrible Pun a Hilarious Niche Joke

2009-11-03T17:27:21-06:00

So former Stephanie Tanner portrayer and crystal meth aficionado Jodie Sweetin has come out with her autobiography, and though I'm avoiding making fun of it in public in case I never decide I want to do a one-man show reading it, I do have to agree with Dan Hopper at the Best Week Ever.TV (which so weirdly still exists even though Best Week Ever no longer exists on my TV)

Jodie Sweetin Enters Autobiography Pun Hall Of Fame With New Book “Unsweetined”

Admittedly, UnSweetined is a horrible title. But what drove me most crazy (beyond the fact that within the real title they should have doubled the N - because the way is spelled now it would sounds like "tine" or "Valentine" which is less like your name, and granted her name doesn't have two N's but it also doesn't have a "Un" or and "ed" either. But I guess "unsweeten" doesn't have two N's so that would make it more confusing... I'm getting off this train of thought.)

Okay two things drove me crazy. One is explained the devolving parenthetical above. The other is that throughout the BWE.tv post, they refer to it as "Unsweetin" when the cover clearly shows the S should be capitalized Mid-word capitalization is somethign that I am very sensitive about as a McNamara who is far too often a Mcnamara

(The first two unused boxes of business cards sitting on my desk stand as a reminder that sometimes it takes 3 tries to get something right, even if you're told about it once and should have followed the proof you were given; unfortunately this monument is summarily ignored by anyone who comes to my desk to complain. Probably for the best because if I told them what the incorrect business cards were supposed to represent they'd have the crafty comeback: "Didn't we lay off everybody and close our internal print shop two months ago?")

So anyway, since BWE.tv had me pondering capitalization anyway, I realized that it would have been much funnier (to a certain crowd anyway) if it was actually laid out like this:

unsweeTined

(Sorry, either you get it or you don't. Now if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go update my Manhunt profile.)

You know how they say that we saved the UK in WWII; time for NBC to call in the favor...

2009-11-03T10:33:23-06:00

Despite its wacky tone, I believe that a lot of 30 Rock is actually fact. (Tina Fey is not Liz Lemon but Tracey Morgan is soooo Tracey Jordan.) So it's hard for me to think of a company owned by evil corporate overlords as underdogs for which I should root in real lfe. But NBC as a television network is pathetic, and as a lover of pop culture history, that's just sad. This is a network once so big they had to explode it into multicolored Red and Blue networks. Granted, that was in the days of radio, but it feels like it's been that long since NBC wasn't just the butt of a joke.

NBC didn't make it any easier for me to cheer them on when they gave the keys of the kingdom to Jay Leno and he ran his 3,006 unfunny cars through every promotional stoplight possible before committing a hit and run of unfunny to America's soul every weeknight at 10/9C. But here's how they can make it up to me and get me back on their side. Give this pilot a chance:

Popular British actor David Tennant, best known for playing the title role in the BBC's long-running sci-fi series "Doctor Who," is set to make his American television debut as the title character in NBC's hour-long pilot "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer."

The comedic legal drama centers on a top Chicago litigator (Tennant) who begins suffering panic attacks and takes up coaching clients to represent themselves in court.

NBC green lighted the project in August, about two years after it was first developed, and had been trying to find a lead actor for several months until Tennant came along and nailed the part.

Though I'd heard about this pilot somewhere (which is one of those weird and wonderful things about reading too much on the Internet -- you can feel like a Hollywood insider even though you're so totally not) and found the premise potentially too gimmicky, it sounds perfectly suited to Tennant's many charms.

And though we all know the production of television shows featuring "top Chicago" anyones aren't based in Chicago, the idea that they might do some exterior scenes every once and a while (like ER used to) and that Tennant might be a part of them.... let's just say I've got my stalking shoes ready.

But of course, NBC has to pick it up first. But if they want to save their network, they could do much worse. There's nobody better suited to save history than a Time Lord

links for 2009-10-31

2009-10-31T13:03:08-05:00

Light-Skin Brothers Making A Comeback

Ta-Nehisi Coates has a post about his feelings about 80s pop diversity that brings together the personal and political in a way that blogging was invented for. Well, it's probably not the reason it was invented. That was just ease of publishing. But why it's popular. No that's not right easier. That's cat pictures and incoherent partisan ranting. But why it's important and awesome and why I still wear my Blogger sweatshirt proudly even though I use typepad. This description has nothing to do with the post itself, but you should still read it because it's rock star writing.

(tags: Ta-NehisiCoates culture race Prince Vanity biracial ILovethe80s)

Spoiler Alert

2009-10-15T09:59:03-05:00

With all the behind the scenes drama at the remake of V, poster vandalism probably isn't all that big of a worry, especially since this particular vandalism isn't telling anybody who is actually interested something they don't already know. Still though, it made me laugh.

You know what looks unexpectedly great?

2009-10-11T16:21:08-05:00

The commercials for Astroboy.

Sent from my iPhone

New Doctor Who logo

2009-10-09T14:34:34-05:00

Behold the awesomeness...

I can't believe it's taken them this long to do a TARDIS with the DW. It seems so obvious.

And also awesome.

Of course, some people hate it.

I, however, am pretty happy.

Like wondering where on my person the little DW tattoo should go happy

Tight Levis

2009-10-07T08:47:24-05:00

So the back page of today's Red Eye we learn that Levi Johnston is logging mucho gym time in preperation for his appearance in Playgirl. Isn't it nice that somebody in that whole messed up clan has some follow through?

On the other hand, don't strain yourself. We liked you fine just they way you were. On a third hand, overly muscled hockey players...mmnmm.

Sent from my iPhone (which explains why there is sadly no illustration to this post)

links for 2009-10-02

2009-10-02T13:03:36-05:00

Top Ten People Who Laughed at Letterman's Show Last Night | The Blog | Chicago Reader

Personally, I think Dave can keep making as many jokes about adultery as he wants. He's a comedian and that's his job. Making jokes isn't the same thing as passing judgment. It's not like he didn't even mock himself during his public confessional last night. unless some really, much more prurient details come out, I think Letterman may come out of this on a better place (professionally at least) The incident has created buzz and his apology, despite what the celebrity pundits (God, it makes me ill that there even are such a thing) on the Today show thought, the apology worked, seemed sincere, and probably saved him from a much bigger fiasco. His personal choices might not have been the wisest, but from the moment he started getting blackmailed, it seems like he's handled this very intelligently.

(tags: letterman scandal topten chicagoreader)
'How I Met Your Mother’' exclusive: Rachel Bilson cast as you-know-who?! | Ausiello | EW.com

"In what could turn out to be the mother of all casting scoops, Rachel Bilson has landed a pivotal — some would say legendary — role in How I Met Your Mother’s 100th episode." She may or may not be the titular mother, but either way, I love me some Rachel Bilson and I love me some HIMYM, so this pleases me.

(tags: television EntertainmentWeekly HowIMetYouMother)

"Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up Ricky." // Review of The Boys Are Back (and I don't care)

2009-10-02T02:37:17-05:00

Hmmmmm...

That's how I felt leaving The Boys are Back, the new movie starring Clive Owen as a widower raising his six year old son and re-acquainting himself with his teenage son from a previous marriage. On one hand, it was a well acted (Owen is great and the kid actors are so believable you are almost certain someone's mom was murdered or someone's dad left him as a kid just to get the performances) with well written scenes (the part from the trailer where the six year old asks if his half-brother will like him is even better in the movie) and beautiful cinematography of southern Australia etc. etc.

On the other hand, even though it works through this tragic story in a somewhat believable way, I left feeling, to quote an overused Internet meme and favorite Lisa Simpson comeback:

Meh.

Maybe it's because the inspired-by-a-true-story story took a lot of dramatic twists that felt a little fake yet I excused them because they were probably the actual moments that were true. And didn't really care. Also, there were a number of creative licenses, including *spoiler alert* the conversations with dead wife who appeared on the screen as if she was there until she was not. The first time this happened I wanted to punch the screen and yell "Come on, don't do that!" But by the end, I felt it was justified by the way it had all unfolded. But that's all it was -- justified by structure. They earned it from a coldly critical perspective. But certainly not emotionally. It's like the movie was a well put together gown on Project Runway but I was Nina Garcia down in the judge's row thinking, "God, I sure can see the seams."

I went along with the ride. I laughed at the right parts. I sighed sadly at the right parts. But I never guffawed. And I never wept. If a movie's sole existence is based on pulling your heart strings, but it only plucks, never tugs, I don't think it's a success.

And it's a freaking true story with Clive Owen and a six year old boy acting their freaking hearts out regarding the death of their wife/mother. And I was left judging the performances. And cold.

(seriously, a hot loving man continually calls his young son "sweetheart" and I was barely moved...either my heart is dying or this movie didn't quite work... I think it's the latter... at least I hope)

James Franco "Travels on the Pineapple Express" , Accepts Role on General Hospital

2009-10-01T15:36:39-05:00

As you know, I'm the last person in the world to diss soap operas as a genre. I, in fact, believe that I am their biggest supporter. But General Hospital in the last five+ years has gone from the wonderful show that I adored so much that I watched its spin off when it premiered in prime time to...well, a nearly unrecognizable, often tone deaf show that supports murderous mobsters over the former good guys and doesn't care that Luke cheated on Laura back when they were on the run with Lucky in Canada before coming back to the show in the 90s. (If you don't know what that means, let's just say it's FUCKING sacrilege)

So it is with mixed feelings, to say the least, for me to report that James Franco is pulling a Macdonald Carey and going from big time movie star to soap star... a career path that is, shall we say, untraditional. On one hand, soaps are dying off very quickly and I think it'd be a sad, sad day if that happens completely. On the other hand, why isn't he on Young and the Restless or One Life to Live or a soap that doesn't currently suck? (Actually, those are the only two with anything going for them these days, except for those cute gay guys who everybody seems to love on As the World Turns.)

Seriously, this is just weird

links for 2009-10-01

2009-10-01T13:05:18-05:00

Cheese or Font

Guess which is which based on the name. Harder and more fun than you might think.

(tags: typography Fonts game humor food)
Rally in Chicago for Gay Rights

"LGBT Change, a local grassroots initiative founded late last year, is organizing the Chicago rally, which starts at 1p.m., Oct 11, under the Picasso statue." More on this later maybe but mark your calendar just in case

(tags: Chicago Gay activism)
Gossip Girl's Little J gets a new bad-boy beau

Kevin Zegers was awesome -- and delicious -- in Transamerica, so this could be a very, very good thing. Of course, I didn't like Michelle Trachtenberg on Buffy and I love her as Georgina so I suppose the reverse could happen.

(tags: TVSquad GossipGirl television)

When a Problem Comes Along.... My "Whip It" Review/Test

2009-09-30T11:57:56-05:00

To determine if you should the new roller derby riot grrrl (do the kids still say that?) film Whip It take the following test:

Answer	Question	Explanation to Relevance
Section A - True or False Answer the following True or False questions
T F	I like Ellen Page.	Not the character Juno or the version of Kitty Pryde who broke up Ice Man and Rogue in X Men 3, but the actress who, though having worked with both Diablo Cody or Brett Ratner and should be blamed for neither's failure as artists or human beings
T F	I enjoyed the A&E reality series Rollergirls.	This is basically the fictionalized tale of that program with Page playing a small town Texas alternachick forced to compete against the rich kids iin beauty pageants by her postal carrier mom until she discovers roller derby on a shopping trip to Austin and realizes this is her destiny. Like Rollergirls, Whip It tells the tale of the TXRD League and the bad ass women within.
T F	I like Kristen Wiig	She, as the Mama Bear who takes our heroine under her stakes/wing is the best non-Ellen Page thing about Whip It. She should be in every indie comedy (though lately it seems like she is)
T F	You really wanted to see this movie, but really couldn't accept the idea that Drew Barrymore was supposed to be the same age as Ellen Page.	This is entirely not true, and the idea that Page is younger than her roller derby compatriots is not only mentioned but a crucial element to the plot.

If you answered true to at least two of these questions, you should definitely see it. If not, continue.

Answer	Question
Section B Answer the following with yes or no.
Y N	Have you ever bought used clothes at a store that also sells pot paraphanelia?
Y N	Would this cause your mother not to pay for these clothes on either a moral stand or because the hipsters behind the counter laughed at her?
Y N	Do you like Alia Shawkat and/or ever wonder what she looks like with freckles? With her playing Page's best friend, this means Page has been the lead in movies where she's been coupled with both of the young Bluth cousins from Arrested Development. However, Page and Shawkat have far more sexual chemistry than Cera did with her in Juno, and even though their characters aren't lesbians, their closeness (and the freckles) are still a plot point which leads to the most awesomely satisfying (if morally questionable) hip check in film history.
Y N	Do you like to hate Juliette Lewis? She makes a wonderfully hateable bully in the best sports movie tradition.
Y N	Do you like it when film locations seem real? Because although Barrymore in her directorial debut makes some questionable editing choices (as witnessed by the outtakes in the closing credits they kept me asking "Why didn't we see that?" and also made me sometimes wish that a more experienced director has been behind the camera to make the scenes around the derby track more exciting, the places feel authentic -- and not just because the warehouse was the same place Rollergirls competed and much of the movie looks like it was sponsored by the Austin Chamber of Commerce and Tourism Board. The houses are clutters in a real way and the house parties and bar are awkwardly spaced like real life. Kudos to the set dresser and designer and whoever else makes such things happen.
Y N	Do you like montages set to music? Because Whip It has both an inspirational sports training montage AND a falling in love montage that, though cliched, were really great and are a credit to Barrymore's directing style.

If you answered yes to 3 of more of the questions in Section B, you should see Whip It.

Section C - Written Essay Summation

Whip It plays most of the notes you'd expecte a coming of age/sports team comedy to play but they are arranged in an entertaining way, and though most everything turns out the way you expect it might, it gets there in some unique ways. For example, like the real roller derby, this movie isn't so much about gender, romance, love, and sexuality but being post-sexual^TM(courtesy of Julie Keck). The love story plot is satisfying in both its execution and conclusion (though , in hindsight, I fear a scene set in a pool while cheekily effective may lead to a bunch of drownings because of its total impossibility to actually recreate without gills.)

I'm not sure this movie will have a lot of crossover appeal. But if you saw the long trailer and thought you might like it, see it. It does what it advertises without disappointment.

Another Review I Meant To Write Earlier: The Ville (Again)

2009-09-28T15:33:07-05:00

After a couple of months of missing it, I saw Andersonville's soap-opera-on-stage The Ville two weeks ago and if you're local, you should check it out again. Still mixing the comedy and drama skillfully, the storylines have moved on, the cast is slightly different, but it's still a tight 90 minutes or so of good entertainment. Today's the last night to see this month's episode and if you get a chance. The gay domestic violence plot is melodramtic in the best sense of the word -- no, not full of false pathos and sentiment but appealing to emotion and sentiment to tell an important story like the best plot of a soap opera that would end with a PSA at the end. If you've ever fought too much or too hard with someone you love, it will break your heart again. Check it out.

The Ville previously on Logopolis:

Fame: New Remake Won't Live Forever, but People Won't See It and Cry

2009-09-28T14:24:10-05:00

Baby look at me

Unlike most of America, if the box office results are anything to go by, I was excited to see the remake of Fame. The difference between now and when the original was made is that the very title is where the interesting conflict could arise in a remake. More than ever, we live in a world where one can be incredibly famous without any discernible talent. Whether you have the last name of Kardashian or can pop out an inexplicable number of womb rats, you can be famous just for being you -- as long as you is trashy or fertile or tragic or some combination of the above.

And tell me what you see

But not all reality shows and other celebrity factories are run by tabloid stars. So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway, and sometimes American Idol show us talented folks doing interesting things and occasionally having dramatic moments, so it's only logical that in a world of these programs' successes and the High School Musical juggernaut that Fame would get remade.

You ain't seen the best of me yet

And there in lies the remake's biggest problem. It's cotton candy fluff from a world where Adam Lambert is thought to be overflowing with sex and the Jonas Brothers are considered purity-ring wearing hunks. Asher Brook is pretty to look at, but so is a Ken doll. The male dancers were suitably built, except for the one who is not supposed to be and can't properly lift, and even he managed to fill it out before they *spoler alert* sent him back to gay exile in Iowa. But despite these attempts, the whole thing felt neutered. There was certainly no Leroy. Granted, this also means that none of the high school students look 40, but it's just as unbelievable to have a sexless world full of attractive high school students. It's a PG rated remake of an R rated movie in an NC-17 world.

Give me time I'll make you forget the rest

The film opens with a replay of Debbie Allen's "You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying - in sweat" speech (from the TV show, but it's such a looming part of the cultural memory of the franchise, you'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise) over the title lighting up the sky like a flame (Fame), but other than the inclusion of Allen as the principal and the structure (from audition to graduation, the movie is divided by Freshman through Senior year), this is the only real attempt to shamelessly capitalize on the original

I got more in me.

Still, Fame 2009 is movie certainly made by someone who loved the first go-round, even if only one song remains (besides the title track, which plays over the end credits). There's a cafeteria jam scene early on that I found thrilling, but it's still no "Hot Lunch Jam. There's a trashy casting couch scene, but it's certainly not Coco convinced to take off her top. There's a huge performance at graduation, but... There's a near suicide, but.... So there's a lot of similarities, but there's also a lot of "but...."

And you can set it free

Beyond their voices and dancing abilities that brought them there, the kids are pretty forgettable. The face that was most familiar to me, So You Think You Can Dance's Kherington Payne plays the uptown girl with dancing chops who seems to date a downtown guy mostly to piss off her parents. Unfortunately (maybe), this plot arc happens in about two scenes. Kherington is an amazing dancer and her music video routine crawling on top of other dancers is the closest thing the movie gets to "hot"; however, her acting ability ends with her smile, so it was probably best not to give her anymore talking than they already did.

I can catch the moon in my hands

Of course, most of the adults were fantastic -- though again, you could count most of their lines on your fingers and toes. As principal, Allen speaks like the Lord on high, just like she does from the judges' table on So You Think You Can Dance. The movie avoids putting Kelsey Grammar and Bebe Neuwirth in a scene, so you're not forced have to think about them playing the couple that made them famous, but they are still basically playing the same characters. Frasier is a classical loving musical snob who has no time for improv or kids from the streets who don't care about Beethovan. Lilith is the cold bitch of a dance instructor who will break your heart and send you and your tragic shoes to consider jumping in front of a subway.

Don't you know who I am

The closest thing to an authentically moving scene comes from the other Must See TV veteran, Megan Mullally, as the vocal teacher miles away from Karen Walker, who, after taking her class out to a karaoke bar and then surprising them with her own abilities, is forced to explain that she used to pound the pavement looking for work just like they will so do did but eventually grew tired and gave it up, but she still goes to Broadway shows and thinks "I could do that." It's an obviously conversation, but Mullally nails it, and even the kids raise their game by reacting with just the right look of sympathy at her story and terror that they are heading down the same path.

Remember my name

Despite all of my complaints, I recommend the remake. It's as good or better than most of the similarly themed "kids in the arts" movies that have come out in the last decade. I'm sure there's an audience out there for it with kids today. Even though the title is Fame, it's stressed throughout that celebrity should not be the desired end result for these talented kids, and that they should work on honing their gifts and not their headshots and OK Magazine. That alone makes it a worthwhile venture for kids today in my book. And if it inspires them to see the original, all the better.

Why I Love The Internet #314789

2009-09-24T21:30:31-05:00

When reading a lengthy post in Metafilter, which was inspired by Kirk Cameron's latest assault on Creationism, the conversation managed to contain both intelligent conversation about Christianity AND Boner's real name (Richard Milhaus "Boner" Stabone), which led me to a Wikipedia article on Growing Pains, which led to this table of the international names of the show:

Country	Name	Literal translation
China	成长的烦恼 (Chéngzhǎng de Fánnǎo)	The Frustrations of Growing Up
Taiwan	歡樂家庭 (Huānlè Jiātíng)	Happy Family
France	Quoi de neuf docteur?	What is new doctor? or What's up doc?
Germany	Unser lautes Heim	Our loud home
Italy	Genitori in blue jeans	Parents in blue jeans
Japan	愉快なシーバー家 (Yukai na Seava (Seaver) Ke)	Happy Seaver's family
Latin America	Ay! Cómo duele crecer	Ouch! How painful is growing up
Poland	Dzieciaki, kłopoty i my	Our kids, trouble and us
Spain	Los Problemas Crecen	The Problems grow
Sweden	Pappa vet bäst	Dad knows best

If you ask nicely, I will sing the Japanese theme song based on this title that I have just written and am now singing out loud over and over again.