My new flybuys card arrived in the mail today. Unfortunately it wasn’t hand-delivered by Dawn.

It was back in 1997 upon our arrival in Australia when I first encountered the flybuy card.

‘You got Floy Boys?’ the teller inquires. I stare blankly at her, unable to comprehend what she is saying.

‘Excuse me?’ I ask politely.

‘You got Floy Boys?’ she answers, a little more brusquely.

‘Um, no,’ I mumble, aware there is a queue developing behind me and I dare not ask what on earth she’s talking about, for a third time.

On another occasion, I do ask. I discover that ‘Floy Boys’ are actually ‘Fly Buys’. One acquires a Fly Buy card and accumulates points by spending money in participating stores.

Should one be determined and diligent enough to produce one’s ‘Fly Buy’ card at all participating outlets, one can trade in these points for a variety of items – from toasters to bread makers.

I discover that it takes a long time to accumulate points and when one does have enough, say, for a kettle, they’ve expired anyway. We’ve also moved so often that I don’t think the ‘Floy Boy’ people even know where I live.

Excerpt from ’Aussie, Actually‘, Chapter - ’Very Un-Austraalian’

Love your campaign, Big Red!

World heritage-listed Fraser Island is the world’s biggest sand island and is pure paradise for nature lovers and adventurous outdoor enthusiasts visiting Queensland.

Barges and ferry services run daily from River Heads, south of Hervey Bay, and from Urangan Boat Harbour in Hervey Bay to Fraser Island.

Once on the island, prepare to do a fair bit of low tide driving to reach the main attractions.

It’s essential to have a detailed outline of high and low tides when planning day trips to visit some of the island’s treasures – namely the lush, dense rain forests and a total of 100 inland freshwater lakes. And don’t forget your tyre pressure gauge for adjusting tyre pressure for negotiating tricky inland tracks.

The largest and most popular tourist swimming spot is Lake McKenzie which doesn’t disappoint. It’s exactly as the photographs portray – azure blue with stretches of white sand on which to lie back and enjoy the exquisite spectacle (if you can find a spot).

The day we visited, there were hoards of young backpackers of all nationalities so it’s clearly on the ‘must see’ list before leaving Queensland.

I was told by a Fraser Island local that Lake Birrarabeen en-route to Lake McKenzie is as beautiful and not as busy so perhaps worth a stopover if you don’t fancy sharing your little piece of paradise with the masses.

As in all areas of the island, there are frequent signs warning visitors to be wary of dingoes and not to leave food lying around. There is a fenced picnic area as no food or drink other than water (day packers must have misinterpreted ‘water’ as there were plenty of beer-swilling foreigners enjoying the scenery!)

Another popular swimming spot is Champagne Pools where waves crash over rocks to fill a series of pools, resulting in refreshing bubbles – hence the champagne affiliation. Again, there was a steady stream of visitors on this perfect Easter weekend.

Eli Creek was slightly less congested on the day we visited but it is also a favourite spot on the tourist map. Pumping four million litres of water into the ocean every hour, the creek is the largest freshwater creek along the east coast.

Remember to take along a boogie board or inflatable object so you can float leisurely down the creek.

If you’re keen on a bit of a history lesson and a beautiful rainforest walk, head for Central Station. Home to a community of more than 100 people in the 1920’s timber logging days, large display cases contain copious amounts of reading material proudly documenting the area’s history.

There are beautiful walks to Wanggoolba Creek and Basin Lake once you’ve had your fill of historical facts and figures.

Among the other listed ‘unforgettable treasures’ is Maheno Wreck, a former World War 1 hospital ship that was hit by a cyclone and wrecked on the shores of Fraser Island.

The ship was also once renowned for achieving the fastest trans-Atlantic crossing. These days, the rusted relic lies close to the shoreline a short distance from Eli Creek.Visitors are warned not to climb aboard the wreck but it’s a popular spot for snorkellers to explore its perimeter.

Indian Head is also memorable. So named because of the distinct Red Indian profile outlined on the rocky cliff, it is a beautiful ‘viewing deck’ from which to enjoy the infinite stretches of bright blue sea.You can even spot dolphins and manta rays on a clear day.

That’s just a taste of the island. It’s impossible to take it all in on one visit and as a Fraser Island veteran relayed, he’s been visiting the island for the past 30 years and still hasn’t finished exploring.

As far as accommodation goes, if you’re planning on staying a few days the most affordable option is camping. There are, however a host of cabins available if you’re not keen on the whole camping experience. Kingfisher Resort is a family favourite as it has a swimming pool and all the comforts of resort living.

If camping, there are various sites to choose from depending on your requirements. We stayed at Cathedrals on Fraser campsite which had water (hot showers if you timed it right!) and power.

There was also a shop a short walk from the campsite to stock up on essentials. A fridge in the shared camp kitchen proved a godsend and a large covered communal BBQ area with massive rustic wooden tables and benches was perfect for accommodating a few families. The campsite was well laid out was one of the most peaceful I’ve encountered, particularly considering it was a busy Easter weekend.

Happy campers may take note that in unfenced sites like ours, dingoes do have a penchant for nocturnal prowls hoping to pick up food scraps from the previous night. This made for rather adrenalin-charged midnight toilet visits! All food had to be put away whenever we left the campsite and we were warned to be vigilant about safely discarding food scraps.

There are other fenced sites available so check before booking.

Definitely worth a return visit.

© 2012 Lois Nicholls

And then the connection was made. The author, Lawrence Anthony was the son of the iconic Zululand Observer editor, Reg Anthony. My first job was as a fledgling reporter with the newspaper in Empangeni.  The co-author, Graham Spence had worked for the same newspaper group in another lifetime.

I couldn’t wait to get my hands on The Elephant Whisperer and was enthralled from the first chapter.

The story, in essence, is about the incredible relationship Lawrence forges with a herd of rogue elephants destined to be shot if he doesn’t agree to take them on. As the owner of Zululand’s Thula Thula game reserve, against all common sense and in true Lawrence style, he tackles the challenge head on.

And what a challenge it is. These magnificent creatures have been maltreated and it becomes increasingly evident that an elephant, indeed, never forgets. Their trust in man has been severely compromised. It takes sheer perseverance and incredible patience, love and understanding for Anthony to build their trust – even sleeping near their enclosure to get them accustomed to his presence.

The journey is a tough one. Try capturing seven dangerous and unpredictable elephants who have managed to break the circuit in an electric fence and facing locals itching to simply shoot the magnificent creatures.

But he persists and against all odds, manages to gain their trust and persuades them to make the reserve their home. Along the way, we are privy to the tough environment he is working in, the intricacies of appeasing tribal leaders and the ongoing battle against poachers.  There is an insight into the commitment of his faithful staff and their deep love for the animals.  Then there is his French wife Francoise and her long-suffering attitude which includes seeing her prized herb garden flattened by the herd.

Readers are also given a captivating glimpse of the beauty and enchantment of the Zululand bush and the richness and diversity of its landscape and the creatures that inhabit the vast reserve.

A magnificent read.   My only regret is that I didn’t come to know of Lawrence Anthony and his courageous conservation efforts sooner. Tragically, he died a few weeks prior to my discovering the book which made the read even more poignant.

What a legacy he has left.

The Elephant Whisperer

By Lawrence Anthony with Graham Spence

Published by Pan Books

*Also check out Babylon’s Ark, the incredible wartime rescue of the Baghdad Zoo.

It’s local election time again in Queensland and politicians are out kissing babies, riding on tractors and planting trees.

In other words, they’re trying to pull the wool over our eyes. They are also resorting to smear campaigns, digging up every last little nugget they can to try and convince an embattled public that they are the more deserving candidate. It’s ugly out there.

And how out of touch they are. Exactly how short a memory do they think we have? When is Anna Bligh going to stop dining out on her tearful flood speech ie. “We are Queenslanders…” I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy it. I’ve witnessed her poisonous vitriol in parliament  – I tend to think people show their true colours under pressure and that, she did, going as far as suggesting her opponent, Campbell Newman was destined for jail on account of his business dealings.

Another thing, Anna, I ‘aks’ you with tears in my eyes … please learn how to say ask. You’ve had enough practise by now.

I get that politicians have to convince us of their prowess – of their strength in the case of adversity – of their ability to get the blinking job done, but kissing hapless babies? A word of advice: don’t do it if it doesn’t come naturally. We are not taken in by photo opportunistic poses. Babies are insightful little souls – few appear to actually enjoy the prospect of being kissed or hugged by a politician. They’re a bit like animals in that way, they see through the smarminess. They recognise authenticity.

And that’s a bit thin on the ground right now. Am I alone in glazing over when they start their policy talk, their coined phrases and empty promises of a better, brighter future for all “working families”.  Aren’t we all working families? Sorry, perhaps I’m cynical but the sad truth is, I don’t believe a word they are saying.

And while I’m on the subject of kissing, we also remain unmoved by great shows of public affection, Mr Newman. I love that you love your wife and family, but enough already! You can hold hands, just don’t smooch in public. Also, come clean on all your business dealings, please.

Perhaps I will go with the mad hatter, Katter after all … at least he has an honest interest in the farming community.

Personally, I remain unmoved by great shows of sensitivity, of earnest displays of affection, of teary speeches, of mine visits, of mingling with the crowds so to speak. Perhaps all the recent back stabbing within the Labour ranks has simply left a bitter taste in the mouth. Who to believe? Politicians speak with forked tongues – the past few weeks have proved that. What you see is not what you get. What they say is not what they’re thinking.

It will take a lot more than a tractor ride or another photo opportunity at a native tree planting ceremony to convince me anyone is a worthy candidate at all.

The Greens? Don’t like them either – dig a little deeper and you’ll find they’re not all about tree hugging and preserving the planet. They’re a little too conniving for my liking. Smarmy too.

Perhaps I will go with the mad hatter, Katter after all … at least he has an honest interest in the farming community.

But there again, he has been known for a touch of foot in mouth so there is still plenty of time for him do something downright irritating – and then, I suppose, it’s back to the drawing board, or is that ‘drawring’ board, Anna?

Her Majesty waves as her car passes my children by - comedian, Adam Hills mounted on a billboard looks bemused. Photo © JournoNews.com

I went to see the queen and all I saw was a flash of her mint green suit.

It had been a spontaneous decision to seize the day and take all three of our children out of school to witness this historic royal visitation. It was quite plausible after all that this could be Her Majesty’s last visit to Brisbane. They would remember this occasion for years to come.

The enthusiasm of missing school and seeing the queen was tangible. Everyone made sure their shoes were appropriate as I’d relayed a story about Prince Phillip snubbing a royal fan after he caught sight of their old, scuffed shoes. We would be more than ready for the prince and the queen with our neat attire and well shod feet.

We announced our decision to visit Her Majesty to friends and our neighbour and her three children together with three more eager friends took up the offer to accompany us. All were naturally delighted to take a day off school thanks to the sanctioning by our education minister. Our new royalists ranged in age from Grade 4 to Grade 11—civilised, manageable ages not prone to getting lost or behaving inappropriately in Her Majesty’s presence (we of course visualised her shaking our hands and congenially chatting).

We set off at 8am, intending to pick out our spot along her Southbank route. The train trip was uncomplicated and we were lulled into a false sense that perhaps we were among only a handful of royal watchers out on this sunny October morning. We disembarked at Southbank, and still, the crowd was not overwhelming—a promising sign. The only early birds like us were some prettily frocked little girls carrying posies of flowers while accompanied by their suitably elegant mums. The flowers, we discovered later, would be their ticket to the queen. (Note to self: Next time, bring extravagant bunch of flowers—preferably containing a few native species bound to be given the nod for their patriotism. Borrow adorable child to accompany flowers.)

A young girl waits patiently with roses for the queen Photo © JournoNews.com

We decided on a spot near the wheel where we could see the queen as she ascended the stairs to QPAC. According to security, we would have a good vantage point as she and her entourage later drove through the arbour. What we hadn’t quite counted on was the crowd that slowly filled our little viewing spot. Or that we would not be able to leave our station for five hours for fear of forever losing precious ground. Never underestimate the wily ways of unsuspecting little old grannies carrying fold up stools and sporting a benign smile. They can take your spot from right under your nose without a hint of shame.

The sun beat fiercely for an October morning and as the hours went by; the main entertainment became witnessing SES volunteers rescuing swooning elderly royalists and dehydrated children. Caged behind security fencing, without shade or nearby water stations, it was not surprising we commoners were fading fast.

Dehydrated Royalists revived in the shade by SES volunteers Photo © JournoNews.com

As one Lifeguard volunteer was heard to say: “The old ducks are dropping like flies”.

After what seemed like an eternity and after several mutterings from our jaded clan that an air-conditioned classroom was starting to sound rather appealing, there was a roar from the crowd. This signalled Her Majesty had disembarked from her cruiser and was heading towards QPAC.

We were parched and seared from hours in the sun but we rose to the occasion and snapped away at … well, at the back of people’s heads. Where was the woman? We knew she was wearing mint green from the massive television screen we had glimpsed earlier, but there were so many hats and so many hangers on it was hard to discern where the lady of the moment was at all.

I hoisted up a squashed and sweaty toddler behind me to catch a glimpse of the queen.

“See, she’s the old lady with the pale green hat,“ I said, barely able to see her myself.

He looked at me with a bemused expression and I had a sudden realisation he hadn’t a clue what he was looking at. Nor did I. Well, I did see her mint green suit for a second from the shoulders up—and the back of her matching green hat—oh yes and I should be grateful for the glimpse of her white-gloved hand waving to the crowd.

“See, she’s the old lady with the pale green hat,“ I said Photo © JournoNews.com

Only later did I realise that in my frenzied bid to see the queen, I had completely missed Prince Phillip. And then it was over. The queen failed to walk up the QPAC stairs as predicted and must have snuck through another entrance to greet flood victims. We would have to wait for a proper look when she drove past us in the royal procession. May I add that people were still passing out in the heat and there was no water to be had. The drinks seller had long run out of cold drinks and the crowd was so thick, there didn’t seem any access to water bubblers at all.

Fearing one of our large party would flake out in the half hour wait for the queen to re-emerge from QPAC, I decided to be the water scout. Loaded with a back pack of empty water bottles, I headed off. A tired looking SES worker directed me to a bubbler along the edge of the river and I prepared to stand in a long line. There was, however, a mere trickle emanating from this water source and I predicted it would take me ages to fill 11 water bottles. I also feared I would be lynched by a thirsty mob for hogging the bubbler.

I decided wash basins in the ablution block were a better option. So I headed once again through throngs of onlookers now gathered at the rainforest where she was due to appear later, to the ablution blocks. There I was greeted by a long queue. Finally, I reached water and filled up 11 water bottles to revive a parched troupe. Buoyed by my successful quest, I pushed my way through crowds once again, and finally, had our vantage point in my sights. Just then there was a roar of excitement and I saw cameras held aloft photographing the queen and her entourage driving within a hair’s breadth of our spot. I had missed the entire royal drive by. My opportunity to glimpse the queen close up was forever dashed.

Only Her Majesty can draw this kind of attention! Photo © JournoNews.com

I did later see the video footage on my daughter’s iPod—and the photograph taken by my son as she drove past.
She looked enchanting and I’m told by a fortunate friend who actually got to see her up close, her skin is translucent and unblemished for a woman of her age. She’s also charming, attentive and somewhat smaller than she appears in photographs.

I’ll have to take her word for it.

© Lois Nicholls

Photo credit: Red Cross Australia's Flickr Stream

Fancy a guilt-free shopping splurge? Head for your nearest Op shop.

‘Op’ stands for opportunity and there’s plenty of that to be had in the plethora of second hand bargain outlets in and around Brisbane.

Among my favourites is The Endeavour Foundation’s quirky store in fashionable Paddington. The charming outlet is a popular pit stop for seasoned op shoppers as they stock labels and the quality is good.

For example, I recently found a Lisa Ho silk shirt for $19.99. Even with top quality op shops, you still have to be discerning as sometimes, there is a reason someone has donated their much loved garment!

The Endeavour shop also has a large vintage clothing section downstairs where you can uncover some real finds.

There are plenty of op shops in the same street including Retro Metro, which stocks quality one-off retro pieces. There is also a St Vincent de Pauls which has clothing, furniture, costume jewellery and crockery. There won’t be quite the same number of labels available here, but keen and discerning hunters can pick up a bargain all the same.

Throw the Environment A Lifeline – Documentary from Malcolm Burt on Vimeo.

Another label outlet is the Lifeline shop at 144 Adelaide Street in Brisbane central. Its location means it’s slightly smaller than most op shops in the outer suburbs, but it’s still packed with bargains including fine china and glassware.

It also stocks designer handbags (around $40), shoes, hats and gold and silver jewellery.

Prices are slightly higher than the average op shop (they have to cover a higher rent) and on the day I visited there seemed to be a good selection of larger sizes but minimal Size 8 to 10s. However, new stock comes in weekly so there is bound to be something for everyone.

If you’re prepared for a good rummage, try a few suburban op shops. St Vincent De Paul’s at Sumner Park in Brisbane’s Western suburbs is a large outlet and stocks everything from crockery, linen and furniture to clothing.

You may still pick out a label at a reasonable price if you’re lucky on the day or have a good eye for quality.

This is a favourite outlet if you have a costume party to attend as there is often plenty of eveningwear and perfect  ‘dress-up’ garb – even the occasional tutu if feeling balletic.

Furniture is pretty run-of-the mill although if you’re quick, you can unearth some good bargains. My prize purchase from this particular outlet is a silver coffee pot with bone handle I bought for the princely sum of $2.

Photo credit: Red Cross Australia's Flickr Stream

Keen for a serious op shop outing? Then the City of Ipswich, a 40 minute or so drive from Brisbane is your best bet.  There are plenty of outlets in the city centre as well as on the outskirts.

Particularly noteworthy, is a Lifeline superstore which lives up to its name in that it’s the size of a warehouse and stocks everything from bedroom suites to clothing and general household goods.

The store was unfortunately inundated during the recent floods but is due to open again soon. If you have time and patience and don’t mind a good old dig, this is the mega op shop for you.

Another mentionable store is the Red Cross outlet in Sherwood. It’s a small shop but manages to stock books, clothing and accessories as well as crockery and general bric- a-brac. Again, visit regularly to grab the best bargains.

Red Threads – Paddington Store Launch from Australian Red Cross on Vimeo.

And there, in a nutshell, are a few op shops in Brisbane worth mentioning – definitely worth a visit to quell the urge to shop – you’ll also be supporting a good cause.

Tips for op shopping:

• Find your favourite op shop and visit as regularly as possible
• Try and be discerning – don’t buy an item simply because it’s inexpensive. The same rules apply to op shopping as they do to general shopping – try not to impulse buy. If you don’t absolutely love it, don’t part with your money
• Some op shops have an inflated opinion of their wares – don’t spend money on old worn furniture, for example, unless you absolutely love it, it has considerable charm or has potential for vast improvement.

Don’t buy for the sake of buying. I have walked out of many an op shop empty-handed.

That said, if there’s something irresistible, at least you won’t be blowing the budget!

© Lois Nicholls – www.loisnicholls.com.au

It sounds plausible enough. Who wouldn’t want 75% off a weekend getaway at a luxury resort? Or 50% off a ‘delectable meal for two’?

Yet, it’s been a case of online buyers beware for many unsuspecting Australian bargain hunters keen to snap up seemingly too good to be true deals. And here’s the rub: Sometimes, they are just too good to be true.

Take for example, a friend’s foray into a luxury Byron Bay weekend for two get-away. The online deal was heavily discounted. Her weekend would cost her $245 a couple, in a five star location usually nearly double the price. She snapped up the bargain and received vouchers in the mail securing her purchase.

What the small print didn’t mention is that hundreds like her had also bought vouchers and urgency was paramount when booking a weekend away. When she rung up to book a week later, the unsympathetic receptionist said she would have to wait seven months for a free weekend as they were heavily over-subscribed.

“There were 700 people who bought vouchers, what do you expect?” she asked. “But you can come mid-week, school holidays excluded,” she added unhelpfully.

So, the friend has booked a weekend away in seven months’ time with vouchers she thought were instantly redeemable.

It gets worse. In the first flush of online bargain hunting, and prior to realising the sting in the tail, the friend also purchased two defensive driving courses at a cost of $274 for her teenaged son. Booking was impossible. The driving school owner was away for three weeks and didn’t answer phone calls.

When they finally answered, they couldn’t be pinned down to a definite date. Nine emails and seven phone calls later, the friend is still waiting for a booking.

Having been burnt several times, she had this to say:

“I could have got specials out of season and chosen the time I wanted to go away. The vouchers were a waste of time. I’ve since heard that when it comes to holidays, savvy shoppers first book the weekend to secure a place and then buy the voucher online rather than innocents like me who try and book a week later with no luck.”

The friend finally contacted Consumer affairs and was given the sobering advice simply not to buy online, particularly vouchers.

She has, however, had success with restaurant vouchers, mainly because when booking, one is not obliged to mention the heavily discounted dinner voucher.

“Only tell them once you are about to pay – that way they can’t refuse your booking,” she advised.

eBay has also been a good bet. “I’ve always had success with e-Bay as there is culpability and the rest of the world can see feedback. Paying through PayPal also helps as eBay stands surety for the money.”

Animal lovers can often fall prey to scammers because of the adorable pictures posted of the pet for sale. A friend’s Biloela-based niece ordered a dachsund online from Brisbane as she couldn’t find the particular breed in her area.

The adorable female puppy had a white patch over one eye and the niece fell instantly in love. She checked out the seller and all seemed above board.

She even paid to fly the pup to Rockhampton and drove an hour from her home to fetch it from the airport. The pup that greeted her, however, was far different to the one she’d seen online. Not only was it a male, but it had no markings at all and was clearly not the one listed.  Of course, she didn’t have the heart to send the poor little pup back again so kept it.

When she phoned to complain the owner insisted the pup was the one she had ordered, knowing full well that it wasn’t. The scammers had simply chosen the prettiest pooch to attract buyers and sent the litter’s ugly duckling to the unsuspecting buyer.

While most online shoppers are not buying live animals, having seen the number of scams out there, it seems caution is the order of the day.  A friend bought a particular brand of perfume from a dubious seller on eBay. Dubious in that when the $100 perfume arrived, it smelt like urine.

There are plenty of good sellers out there and I have bought countless items with absolute success. It’s just a case of knowing who the scammers are. Only buy from reputable dealers with a good track record. Check them out before parting with your money. And be especially reticent about booking an online holiday unless you’re absolutely sure of securing your preferred date.

And when it comes to bargain vouchers, remember too that they have a shelf life. That ‘delectable three-course meal’ could well have expired once you finally come to claim your romantic dinner for two.

© Lois Nicholls – www.loisnicholls.com.au