NEED COMPANY

Social Groups in the UK that can help you avoid Loneliness

2009-12-09T21:53:00.003-08:00

Social Groups in the UK that can help you avoid Loneliness

Please note that by entering social groups and your area in any search engine an extensive list will appear

Yorkshire Widowed Social Group

Yorkshire Widows, widowers, and widowed social group website. Offers advice and information on joining the group.
www.yorkshirewidowed.co.uk/

Walking in Yorkshire - Yorkshire Walking Groups - Yorkshire walks

South Craven Walking4Health Group · South Yorkshire and North East Derbyshire Area of the Ramblers Association · Splinter Walking & Social Group ...
www.walkinginyorkshire.co.uk/groups.htm

Social and Spatial Inequalities Research Group

Staff, research, publications, maps and links. Based in the Geography Department.
www.sasi.group.shef.ac.uk/

Splinter | Yorkshire Walking and Social Group

A friendly walking group based in Yorkshire with the emphasis on social!
www.splinterwalking.co.uk/

Spice UK National Office

Dave Smith
Registered office: 13 Thorpe Street Old Trafford Manchester M16 9PR Map (opens in new window)
Tel: 0161 873 8788, fax: 0161 848 9465
Email: info@spiceuk.com
Local Website: http://www.spiceuk.com (opens in new window)

The Teddington Group

The South West London Social Group with a Difference

So what are you waiting for? If you are in your 50s or 60s, live in the Richmond, Teddington, Twickenham,

Hampton and Kingston areas and would like to receive a current programme please

email Maureen with your name and address at

membership@teddingtongroup.org.uk

You are welcome to attend a couple of events before deciding whether to join.

Bristol Walking and Hostelling Group

It all here in the great outdoors

Go to website and access application form for a contact number

Birmingham Social Anxiety Group

Details about this group are shown below. If you think some of this information is inaccurate, please contact groups@social-anxiety.org.uk.

The group also has a homepage which provides further information: http://www.shyness.meetup.com/209

Brighton Anxiety Forum 2009
brightonanxiety@aol.co.uk
For anxiety related problems in Brighton and East Sussex
including agoraphobia, panic attacks,
health anxiety, O.C.D.
and similar conditions.

Cardiff SA Group

Details about this group are shown below. If you think some of this information is inaccurate,

please contact groups@social-anxiety.org.uk.

Cornwall Social Group
"Revelstone"
Mary Tavy
Dartmoor
Devon PL19 9PF
http://www.cornwallsocialgroup.com/
Telephone: 0845 6 121 771

MID KENT OUTDOOR PURSUITS GROUP

http://www.midkentgroup.co.uk/

For more information, enquiries about events, etc. please email info@midkentgroup.co.uk

and we'll put you in touch with a member who's local to you.
You can also fill in our CONTACT FORM HERE

Gay Local Social Group East London Essex Borders

Gay local social group, based in East London and the Essex borders offering friendship,

and regular social activities for gay men in a relaxed and friendly ...
www.octopusgroup.org.uk

Inverness & Highland LGBT Forum for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual ...

Details of events and groups for the LGBT community in Scottish Highlands.

Information about LGBT social/support groups in the Highlands ...
www.gay-ness.org.uk/

CAPITAL PEOPLE - The Jewish Singles Social Group in the London area..

The Jewish Singles Social Group in the London area. Ages 49 plus - well educated,cultured

and good company,enjoying informal meetings,visits,walks,parties ...
www.capitalpeoplemix.co.uk/

Blackdown Social Group

A group of gay men in the Blackdown Hills area of Devon and Somerset.

Details of meeting in Devon, South, West Somerset and West Dorset.
www.blackdownsocialgroup.org.uk/

Lancaster & Morecambe Walking & Social Group

Welcome to the Lancaster & Morecambe Walking & Social Group website. Eventually this page will feature a brief history of the group from it's inception to ...
www.lancasterwalkinggroup.co.uk/

Outdoor Activity Clubs - Peaks, North West, Yorkshire, Midlands ...

South Yorkshire, Spice - The Adventure, Sports and Social Group for Adults. 15000 Members Nationwide 9 Branches. A full programme of local, regional and ...
www.outdoor-solutions.co.uk/

What is Anxiety?

2009-12-07T17:14:00.000-08:00

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a general term for several disorders that cause nervousness, fear, apprehension, and worrying.
These disorders affect how we feel and behave. Mild anxiety is vague and unsettling, while severe anxiety can be extremely debilitating, seriously impacting daily life.

People often experience a state of worry or fear before confronting something challenging such as an examination, recital, or interview. Anxiety is considered a problem when symptoms interfere with a person's ability to sleep or otherwise function. Anxiety occurs when a reaction is out of proportion with what might be expected in a situation. Anxiety comes in various forms as outlined below.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is a chronic disorder characterised by excessive, long-lasting anxiety and worry about non specific life events and situations. GAD sufferers often feel afraid and worry about health, money, family, work, or school, but they have trouble both identifying the specific fear and controlling the worries. Their fear is usually out of proportion with what may be expected in their situation. Sufferers expect failure and disaster to the point that it interferes with daily functions.
Panic Disorder is a type of anxiety characterized by brief or sudden attacks of intense terror and apprehension leading to shaking, confusion, dizziness, nausea, and difficulty breathing.

Panic attacks tend to arise abruptly and peak after approximately ten minutes, but they then may last for several hours or a short period. Panic disorders usually occur after frightening experiences or prolonged stress, but they can be spontaneous as well. A panic attack may lead an individual to be acutely aware of any change in normal body function, interpreting it as a life threatening illness – hyper vigilance followed by hypochondriasis.

A Phobia is an irrational fear and avoidance of an object or situation. Phobias are different from general anxiety disorders because a phobia has a fear response identified with a specific cause. The fear may be irrational or unnecessary, but the person is still unable to control the anxiety that results. Stimuli for phobia may be as varied as situations, animals, or everyday objects. For example, agoraphobia occurs when one avoids a place or situation to avoid an anxiety or panic attack.

Social Anxiety Disorder is a type of social phobia characterised by a fear of being negatively judged by others or a fear of public embarrassment due to impulsive actions. This includes feelings such as a fear of intimacy, and a fear of humiliation. This disorder can cause people to avoid public situations and human contact to the point that normal life is rendered near impossible.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterised by thoughts or actions that are repetitive, distressing, and intrusive. OCD sufferers usually know that their compulsions are unreasonable or irrational.

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is anxiety that results from previous trauma such as rape, hostage situations, or a serious accident. PTSD often leads to flashbacks and behavioural changes in order to avoid certain stimuli.

Separation Anxiety Disorder is characterized by high levels of anxiety when separated from a person or place that provides feelings of security or safety.

People with anxiety disorders present a variety of physical symptoms in addition to non-physical symptoms that characterize the disorders such as excessive, unrealistic worrying.
Many of these symptoms are similar to those exhibited by a person suffering general illness, heart attack, or stroke, and this tends to further increase anxiety. The following is a list of physical symptoms associated with GAD:
• Trembling
• Nausea
• Diarrhoea
• Headache
• Backache
• Heart palpitations
• Sweating/flushing
• Restlessness
• Easily tired
•
Those suffering from panic disorders may experience similar physical symptoms to those with GAD. They also may experience chest pains, a sense of choking and shortness of breath. Flashbacks or nightmares of re-experiencing the trauma
Anxiety disorders may be caused by environmental factors, medical factors, genetics, brain chemistry, substance abuse, or a combination of these. Usually anxiety is a response to outside forces, but it is possible that we make ourselves anxious with a habit of always telling ourselves the worst will happen.

Environmental factors that are known to cause several types of anxiety include:
• Trauma from events such as abuse, victimization, or the death of a loved one
• Stress in a personal relationship, marriage, friendship, and divorce
• Stress at work
• Stress about finances and money
• Stress from a natural disaster

Anxiety is associated with medical factors such as anaemia, asthma, infections, and several heart conditions. Some medically-related causes of anxiety include:
• Stress from a serious medical illness
• Side effects of medication
• Symptoms of a medical illness
• Lack of oxygen from emphysema, or pulmonary embolism (a blood clot in the lung)

Substance use and abuse
It is estimated that about half of patients who utilize mental health services for anxiety disorders such as GAD, panic disorder, or social phobia are doing so because of alcohol or benzodiazepine dependence. More generally, anxiety is also know to result from:
• Intoxication from an illicit drug, such as cocaine or amphetamines
• Withdrawal from an illicit drug, such as heroin, or from prescription drugs like
Vicodin, benzodiazepines, or barbiturates

Genetics
It has been suggested by some researchers that a family history of anxiety increases the likelihood that a person will develop it. That is, some people may have a genetic predisposition that gives them a greater chance of suffering from anxiety disorders.

Diagnosis
A psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, or other mental-health professional is usually enlisted to diagnose anxiety and identify the causes of it. The physician will take a careful medical and personal history, perform a physical examination, and order laboratory tests as needed. To be diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), a person must:
• Excessively worry and be anxious about several different events or activities on more days than not for at least six months
• Find it difficult to control the worrying
• Have at least three of the following six symptoms associated with the anxiety on more days than not in the last six months: restlessness, fatigue, irritability, muscle tension, difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating
Generally, to be diagnosed with GAD, symptoms must be present more often than not for six months and they must interfere with daily living, causing the sufferer to miss work or school.
If the focus of the anxiety and worry is confined to a particular anxiety disorder, GAD will not be the diagnosis. For example, a physician may diagnose panic disorder if the anxiety is focused on worrying about having a panic attack, social phobia if worrying about being embarrassed in public, separation anxiety disorder if worrying about being away from home or relatives, anorexia nervosa if worrying about gaining weight, or hypochondriasis if worrying about having a serious illness.
Patients with anxiety disorder often present symptoms similar to clinical depression and vice-versa. It is rare for a patient to exhibit symptoms of only one of these.

Anxiety can be treated medically, with psychological counselling, or independently. Ultimately, the treatment path depends on the cause of the anxiety and the patient's preferences. Often treatments will consist of a combination of psychotherapy, behavioural therapy, and medications.
Sometimes alcoholism, depression, or other coexisting conditions have such a strong effect on the individual that treating the anxiety disorder must wait until the coexisting conditions are brought under control.

A standard method of treating anxiety is with psychological counselling. This can include cognitive-behavioural therapy, psychotherapy, or a combination of therapies.
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) aims to recognize and change the patient's thinking patterns that are associated with the anxiety and troublesome feelings. This type of therapy has two main parts: a cognitive part designed to limit distorted thinking and a behavioural part designed to change the way people react to the objects or situations that trigger anxiety.
For example, a patient undergoing cognitive-behavioural therapy for panic disorder might work on learning that panic attacks are not really heart attacks. Those receiving this treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder for cleanliness may work with a therapist to get their hands dirty and wait increasingly longer amounts of time before washing them. Post-traumatic stress disorder sufferers will work with a therapist to recall the traumatic event in a safe situation to alleviate the fear it produces. Exposure-based therapies such as CBT essentially have people confront their fears and try to help them become desensitized to anxiety-triggering situations Psychotherapy is another type of counselling treatment for anxiety disorders. It consists of talking with a trained mental health professional, psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, or other counsellor. Sessions may be used to explore the causes of anxiety and possible ways to cope with symptoms.

Medical treatments for anxiety utilize several types of drugs. If the cause of the anxiety is a physical ailment, treatment will be designed to eliminate the particular ailment. This might involve surgery or other medication to regulate a physical anxiety trigger. Often, however, medicines such as antidepressants, benzodiazepines, tricyclics, and beta-blockers are used to control some of the physical and mental symptoms.
Anxiety historically has been treated with a class of drugs called benzodiazepines. Their use has declined, however, due to their addictive nature. These drugs tend to have few side-effects except for drowsiness and possible dependency. Some common benzodiazepines include:
• Diazepam (Valium)
• Alprazolam (Xanax)
• Lorazepam (Ativan)
• Clonazepam (Klonopin)

Anti-depressants - especially those in the class of serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) - are also commonly used to treat anxiety even though they were designed to treat depression. SSRIs have fewer side effects than older anti-depressants, but they are still likely to cause jitters, nausea, and sexual dysfunction when treatment begins. Some anti-depressants include:
• Sertraline (Zoloft)
• Paroxetine (Paxil)
• Fluoxetine (Prozac)
• Escitalopram (Lexapro)
• Citalopram (Celexa)
• Venlafaxine (Effexor)
Tricyclics are a class of drugs that are older than SSRIs and have been shown to work well for most anxiety disorders other than obsessive-compulsive disorder. These drugs are known to cause side-effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, and weight gain. Additional drugs used to treat anxiety include monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), beta-blockers, and buspirone. MAOIs, such as phenelzine (Nardil), tranylcypromine (Prate), and isocarboxazid (Marplan), are an older type of anti-depressant that is used to treat some anxiety disorders. These drugs carry with them several restrictions on diet and prevent one from taking other medications such as pain relievers. Beta-blockers, such as propranolol (Inderal), are usually used to treat heart conditions, but they can also treat physical symptoms that accompany some anxiety disorders. Buspirone (Buspar) is another type of medication that affects neurotransmitters to control anxiety but lacks the side effects of sleepiness and dependency. However, it has been associated with dizziness, headaches, and nausea.

This again is not an exhaustive list of symptoms or remedies and a visit to your doctor is most advisable.
With thanks to Greg, here is a link to assist with Social Phobeas.
http://www.whatcausespanicattacks.com/

Living with and after cancer Symptoms

2009-11-28T00:44:00.000-08:00

Loneliness and isolation after Cancer symptoms, normally caused from the stress of the illness and not knowing where to turn for support.

One of the most common feelings people have is loneliness and a sense of being on their own. This isolation can affect people at different times in their illness ,during treatment and afterwards. Anyone affected by cancer may experience loneliness and isolation.

There can be many reasons why people feel alone. Coping with the feelings and changes cancer brings can be a lonely experience or with changes to your appearance such as losing your hair or losing weight may add to the sense of isolation. You may feel lonely even if you’re surrounded by family, because you feel that no one really understands what you’re going through. Some people respond by wanting to fight and not let cancer take them over, others allow the doctors to take control. Some people prefer to feel in charge of their own well being and support themselves in a variety of ways. Everyone’s different and there is no right way of behaving.
Often the sense of isolation is made worse if you find it difficult to talk about how you feel and what you are going through. It can be hard to talk friends and family about how you really feel; you tell them that you’re fine, when you feel very different inside. You may find yourself giving people other reasons for not being yourself. If you can find the courage to talk to just one person about how you feel, it can be the first step towards helping you to feel better. The less you talk about it, the more cancer may become all you think about. And the more alone you can feel.

2009-11-28T00:29:00.000-08:00

I saw this article and was very impressed, but the main points here are you don't need to be lonely

Extract from

Dealing with Loneliness

written by Wm. J. Diehm
Today, social services, churches, lodges, schools, and institutions are dedicated to the proposition that many people need to be cared for. If you are one of those people, relax and let other people cure their loneliness by curing yours.
Another type of lonely person has come to my attention: people who have retired and find themselves at a loss as to what to do. Here are eight sure-fired cures for such loneliness:

Keep busy -- If you are lonely, do with eagerness whatever is in front of you to do: write letters, visit people, fix something that needs to be fixed, take up a hobby, start collecting something of value, become amazed and fascinated by everything around you. Keep busily involved in everything that gets your attention--every little thing and every middle-sized thing can soon grow into big significant projects. The happiest person I ever met and the busiest person I ever met are one and the same. Cure loneliness by keeping busy.
Involve yourself -- If you are lonely, involve yourself in community affairs. Many times when people retire they find themselves in a burned-out condition. Some folks have told me, all I want to do is just sit in a chair, pet my dog, stare out the window, or watch TV. This kind of mental attitude sets a person up to be lonely. And, if a person continues to be a hermit, there will come a time when an incurable loneliness will be the order of the day.

Help others -- If you are lonely, look for and strive to cure the loneliness of someone else--it will cure your own. How about holding the hand of some of those people who made no provisions for old age. There are myriads of people who need help--find them and help them.
Avoid escapes -- If you are lonely, avoid day dreaming, sleeping too much, and watching too much TV. When you do dream dreams, make them possible, obtainable, and something you can work on. Dream magnificent goals for the future and start to bring them about. TV can be a life-saver on occasions; but to mesmerize your brain in a constant dose of radiation from the idiot box is a sure-fire way of becoming depressed and lonely. Too much sleep can be a powerful escape mechanism. We can find ourselves fleeing from guilt, responsibility, failure, and hopelessness. To run away through sleep is just like running away with alchohol--it only makes matters worse. Fight the tendency to sleep too much as if it were a demon from hell--it is.

Choose to be happy -- If you are lonely, you are probably depressed and unhappy. Fight unhappiness with a direct attack of the will--choose to be happy in spite of the circumstances. Ask yourself the question, "How does my unhappiness change my situation?" The answer will be, "It doesn't, it just makes it worse." So make things better for yourself by choosing to be happy. Fight depression by talking out your problems. If alcoholics can join a group and get control of their drinking, you can join a group and get control of your depression. Talk to friends, a counselor, or your pastor, and keep talking until you find yourself maintaining an attitude of optimism.

Collect good thoughts -- If you are lonely, collect inspirational thoughts, good jokes, meaningful poems, and literary masterpieces. Read lots of good books, if you can; if you can't, have someone read to you. Make a list of good things that you read about and then try to memorize some inspirational quotation and share it with whoever comes your way. Collect good thoughts to share with those people who come your way, and soon others will search for your companionship like the proverbial guru of the mountain.

Join a social group -- If you are lonely, join one of the many social groups in your community. See that you visit the Senior Center regularly and meet new people. You will find many individuals there that are involved in social gatherings of various types. Commit yourself to one or more groups that you find of interest.

Go to church -- If you are lonely, go to church. How do I have the nerve to tell people to go to church when I am writing a secular work? I do for the following reason: There is a lot of criticism of the church, but no substitute for it. Most churches care for their people and treat everyone who attends like family. If we cut the church out of the community there would be tens of thousands of more lonely people. I have heard some people say, I went to church and the people were unfriendly. If we are friendly, the church will be friendly. If we are unfriendly, more than 75% of the time, the church will still be friendly.

Loneliness is often caused by wanting people to do something for us. When we do things for other people, we are never lonely. Self-referenced thinking often leads to a barrenness of spirit that breeds discontent and loneliness. Think up, think out, toward people, think around, toward all the exciting things of life; and avoid thinking too much about yourself, and the problem of loneliness will disappear.

Loneliness generally occurs at specific times of the day or during specific days such as holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Planning ahead for these times so that you are active and busy with other things helps provide a very effective means of dealing with loneliness

What is Depression

2009-11-11T11:21:00.001-08:00

What is Depression
Depression is an illness. You have a feeling of sadness for long periods at a time, maybe months or even years.

We all feel sadness at some time in our lives, but for the average person, this is a short experience.

For people with depression, it affects thier daily life and routine. They don’t want to be around people, even the people who are very close to them. They don’t want to go to work because it means dealing with people and issues that will make them feel worse. There is also exclusion as they stop doing all the things they would normally enjoy doing, regardless of how important it is to their lives.

There is a tendency to not even cope with the things that are required, such as; eating, bathing, getting up, caring for themselves and this means that someone must be made aware of the illness, to ensure that the person is getting the essentials things in life sorted.
Feelings of being worthless, hopeless and constant tiredness are all prominent signs of depression, where support is of the utmost importance. These thoughts can lead to the person considering suicide and often the outcome is not pleasant.
The effects of depression, do not only affect the person who has it but it also affects family and friends.

The mood swings can cause others to feel upset and down, as well as confused. This is because they don’t understand what the depressive is going through. Those around a depressive need to be supportive but able to take a back seat, to accept that the illness has not been caused by them and rarely there is a cause.

To not allow the feelings be passed to themselves and attempt to raise the mood of the depressive.
The depressive cannot explain what has caused them to feel the way they do and sometimes discussion of recent and past events can help but in my personal opinion, having lived with a depressive for fourteen years, bringing up the past can make them feel much worse.
It is important for a depressive to visit their Doctor, who will be aware of their illness and know the right course of treatment to follow. Occasionally he may change the pills or methods, according to the depth of depression being experienced and the amount of time it has been prevalent.
At this point I must advise that there are organisations that can offer help and advice for the sufferer and their families in dealing with depression and suicidal feelings.

Without getting too deep into the who's and how they can help, here is a short list of organisations.
• Manic Depression Fellowship – www.mdf.org

• Depression Alliance Scotland – www.mentalhealth.org.uk

• Beyond Blue – www.beyondblue.org.au

• Aware – helping defeat depression – www.aware.ie

• MDF Wales – www.mdfwales.org.uk

• Mind – Information and advice – www.mind.org.uk

• The Samaritans – A helpline for people in need of a friend to talk to – www.samaritans.org – Tel: 08457 909090

• The Doctor – your local Practitioners Office

• A Friend – Advise people how you feel – let them know you need help – Make it SOON.
It is not easy to deal with people when this illness takes effect; it’s certainly not easy to explain how you feel.

You have to try and get someone to help you. Take you to the GP or even get him, to come to you.

Help with the daily routine that is so very important to you. Draw on their support and strength to help you through.
If you have a partner, tell them while you don’t have depression what to expect when you do. Forewarned is forearmed and it will help them to help you, to the best of their ability and also to understand that you cannot function normally when you are ill.

What can increase the chance of depression ?
• Bereavement – Don’t attempt to deal with this alone, discuss it with family and friends.

• Relationship breakdown – Let your friends and family know how much this is hurting.

• Confrontations – Try not to get into confrontations or at least ensure you have some support.

• Official People – Always take a friend or family if you have to go anywhere official.

Council, Police, Court, Benefits Office etc.

• An Illness other than Depression, may lead to depression. – Discuss this with someone else who could offer support.

• Alienated from family or friends – Attempt to repair this, you may need support from friends.

• A new born baby – Women can be vulnerable after a birth.

This is not an exhaustive list, there are many factors to depression but all have the same issue, the NEED for support. A Partner, Friend, Family or an outside influence, like your Doctor.
What you can do to reduce the risk of severe depression.
• Ensure you take your medication on time, everyday.

• Discuss the issue with your doctor, when you know you are starting to go into depression.

• Continue enjoying activities that you normally undertake.

• Attempt to problem solve issues of stress or worry, use a friend or partner to help.

• Be aware of the symptoms that tell you, you are going into depression.

• Take up some form of relaxation, maybe a health club or even video exercise programs.

• Avoid, Avoid, and Avoid, Drugs and Alcohol. This is not a cure; it makes things worse the following day.

THE EFFECTS OF YOUR DIET AND DEPRESSION

Your diet can assist in the treatment of depression, certain foods can assist the medication and other foods can increase the triggers of depression.

FISH – Fish is high in Omega 3, a fatty acid which is acknowledged as food for the brain. This can increase the effects of serotonin, which has the effect of raising your moods.

This is found more in sardines and salmon and you can find alternative vegetarian foods like walnuts and torfu.

It is possible to buy supplements from the chemist for Omega 3.

Other effective foods are:

• Eggs

• Baked Beans

• Meat

• Banana

• Avocado

Foods rich in vitamin B, these help by producing Tryptophan and Amino Acid (5-HTP). This converts Tryptophan to Serotonin, therefore helping to ease your moods.

Try to reduce foods that are bad for depression and moods, such as:

• Alcohol, Caffeine, Sugar, Chocolate, Cakes, Biscuits, Cheese, Bread.

Sugar highs and lows have a dramatic effect on your mood and energy levels, because sweet items introduced to the body, create sugar highs. These however only last a short period of time and it’s the sugar low that follows which causes swings in your mood. This is also evident in your energy levels and can be a great cause of lethargy, (Tiredness).

ANXIETY

Fear, anxiety runs alongside depression and it is the fears that are experienced during a depressive state, these fears are real and need to be faced. However Anxiety is not always part of depression, it is an illness on its own.

This is a very real illness that can be debilitating, fear that can leave you housebound and afraid to even go into the garden. YES it can be that serious.

What can you do about it ?

1. Take time out – relax, calm down and take your medication. Have a cup of tea, watch TV, anything that will take your mind off the issue that caused you to panic.

2. Think about the situation; work out the worst effect of it. Discuss it with someone. The worst that can happen is you will have a panic attack and your medication will help you cope with that.

3. Do not avoid the fear; it will only become more of an issue. Face it, even if you have to ask someone to support you. When faced it is over and done with and you are no longer worrying about it.

4. Be realistic in your expectations; to be perfect is unreachable, a little untidiness or even to make mistakes is human. Do not expect what you cannot achieve. The tilted mirror, uneven books, a magazine out of place, that’s human, we cannot be living in a spotless perfectly tidy surround 24/7.

5. Think of a place of safety and imagine being there for a few minutes, holiday or friends. Feel the positive side of your thoughts, we all need security at some time and you know what yours is.

6. SLEEP, we all need sleep. Anxious people and depressives have an absolute requirement for the maximum sleep on a daily basis. Eat regular meals, continue with your normal daily tasks and pleasures and try to get a little exercise, take a walk.
I will stress that people suffering from Anxiety and Depression, need support, and the family and friends can produce a good network of support if they are aware of the situation.

You don’t have to deal with this alone, you are not a leper, and you are not the only one who does or has suffered from depression. One in ten people suffer depression at some time during their lives and around fifty of these cases are severe or even manic depressives.
People will only understand if you are honest and you don’t try to hide it from them or hide yourself away.

Do inform your doctor when you know you are slipping into depression, as he has a whole network of people who can support you and will know the best way to deal with your case.

DON’T TRY TO DO IT ALONE, IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE.

Come to http://need-company.blogspot.com anytime for a read of the advice documents and you can get me on facebook – yorkyroy

Gmail – comprepman@gmail.com

Hotmail – yorkyroy@hotmail

Send me a message and we can arrange a time to chat on the need-company chat site.

Please do not go it alone.

Lonely My Study Begins

2009-11-02T06:28:00.000-08:00

Lonely My Study Begins

What are the out comes of Loneliness ?
Everyone will experience loneliness at some time in their life when they have little contact with people outside of the home. A large cause of loneliness though is when they don’t feel good about themselves, or the way their life is going. When, people feel that they have no importance or value in relationships with other people.

Prolonged periods of loneliness can lead to much deeper illnesses and these will be discussed in another document. These are caused by long periods of deep thinking, which leads to a feeling of being isolated and useless.

It is with regret that I have to say that loneliness and depression are linked together at this point and you may find visiting your doctor productive, he is trained in the recognition of these symptoms.

Depression is a serious illness and should never be dismissed. When people cannot see your illness, they cannot understand it. That doesn’t make it any less of an illness than any other. I n some cases, depression can be life threatening and needs addressing as early as possible.

Remember:

You are not alone; one in ten people can suffer from depression at some time in their life. Help is available and your doctor knows the best way to deal with your illness and who to put you in touch with if he can’t.

Many things can have an effect your mood, isolation and loneliness, take a look at these. Do you recognise any of them in yourself?

THINKING about yourself;

• You have nothing to share
• You don’t like yourself
• You have little if any trust in others
• You constantly criticise yourself
• Ashamed or Embarrassed about yourself
• Mental health issue
• Physical illness

All of these things can lead to you not wanting to meet others or find it difficult to mix with them when you do.

These are the issues I was covering in my original document, social meetings and venues. Getting to know knew people and basically finding a social life that you can fit in with and enjoy. Following interests and hobbies can be a good way of changing a poor social life. Dancing, Modelling, College, Social Drinking, Bingo to name a few of the venue based options that are good for meeting others.

Take a look at yourself, what do you enjoy doing?
Is there a group in your local vicinity? That do this already and that you can join.

If you don’t feel you can go alone, do you have a friend who would go with you until your confidence lifts?

Why not talk to people online, join some chat groups and get to know people through that activity. People can be very understanding and often a great force for support. They can encourage and nurture you through difficult times. I know that an online community is not the same as people in the flesh, but it is a good start.

You may join an online group that either is local to you or some of the participants are close to you. A get together could lead to a better life that’s got a meaning and it may help you see that you are no different to anyone else.

What about your education?
Do you feel you could benefit from a college course? This is a great way of meeting new people with a common cause. Colleges are not as daunting as people think. It is not a 1950’s school and no one forces you to learn. The experience is at a pace suitable to you, with others in the same situation.
Rarely do you sit in front of a blackboard with someone spouting a load of information at the rate of 100 miles an hour. In fact a lot of the knowledge you gain is from self study and research.

This is where your peers come in handy for each other. As a group you can study together, research the subject and each have something to offer another. It is also very good for building relationships and trust among the group. You can choose your friends and learn to tolerate others. The outcome is a joint effort; the course will have been fun and your social life much more interesting. Why? Because you have made it that way.

What can be the outcome if you don’t combat your loneliness?

It can become a serious health problem and could lead to:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Alcohol Abuse
• Drug Abuse
• Anger and Violence
• Criminal Activities
• Self Harm or even Suicidal Tendencies

This is not an exhausted list; it is just a few of the more prominent outcomes of deep loneliness.

You may come in contact with these things at some time but they will become a bigger issue the longer you don’t combat you main issue; LONELINESS.

So please consider! Are you suffering from loneliness or are you just a little lonely. Can you address it now alone or could you use some help. What is the best policy for you, change your social situation or visit a doctor. Don’t ignore it, address it and move on with your life, for you have so much to give others and so much to enjoy. Take control, don’t let this become a vicious circle that will eventually become too hard to address.

I will continue with this in my next update and look at the other symptoms that can come from being lonely.
I will address Anxiety and Depression.

Comprepman 2nd November 2009

Kate, This is a Poem by an old woman in Hospital

2009-10-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

I wanted to put this onsite as so few people will have seen it.

‘Kate’
Kate, the writer of this poem, was unable to speak, but was occasionally seen to write. After her death, her hospital locker was emptied and this poem was found.

What do you see nurses, What do you see?

Are you thinking, when you are looking at me

A crabbit old woman, not very wise,

Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,

Who dribbles her food, and makes no reply,

When you say in a loud voice, 'I do wish you'd try'

Who seems not to notice, the things that you do,

And forever is losing, a stocking or shoe,

Who unresisting or not, lets you do as you will

with bathing and feeding, the long day to fill,

Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?

Then open your eyes nurse, You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still,

As I use at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten, with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters who, love one another,

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,

Dreaming that soon now, a lover she'll meet:

A bride soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows, that I promised to keep:

At twenty-five now, I have young of my own

Who need me to build, a secure happy home.

A young woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,

Bound to each other, with ties that should last:

At forty my young ones, now grown will soon be gone,

But my man stays beside me, to see I don't mourn:

At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,

Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,

I look at the future, I shudder with dread,

For my young are all busy, rearing young of their own,

And I think of the years, and the love I have known;

I'm an old woman now, and nature is cruel,

'T'is her jest to make, old age, look like a fool.

The body it crumbles, grace and vigour depart,

There now is a stone, Where once I had a heart:

But inside this old carcase, a young girl still dwells,

And now and again, my battered heart swells,

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,

And I'm moving and living, life over again,

I think of the years, all too few - gone too fast,

And accept the stark fact, that nothing can last.

So open your eyes nurses, Open and see,

Not a crabbit old woman, look closer see ME

We all have mothers and fathers who will one day remember the past, the present and the future and then we will be that person. How true are the thoughts in this poem ?

How does it make you feel, once you've read it, let me know.

Lonely ? You Don't Need To Be.

2009-10-26T04:16:00.000-07:00

Loneliness!

For many years I have been in and out of relationships. I was married for eleven years and though at the time it seemed great, I now know it was a very trying period in my life.

I was 17 when I tied the knot and my first child came along just a few short months after.

You may think wow ! and he was in it for eleven tears.

It was a good marraige to start with and being in the Armed Forces at the time, we had plenty of time apart. That was maybe what kept it alive so long.

She was a good mother, children always came first and that was a really good thing, but there was so much missing from the relationship.

I left the forces and within months was in a bedsit, feeling sorry for myself.

Well, a few sad months and unemployed made me start thinking about a future, well I was only 26 yrs old. Not ready for the scrap heap yet.

Sound familiar ?

The great thing about life is, You have to live, move on, try again, survive !

Where do you go from here?

You first try to get your life in order.

FIND A JOB - GO Out - MEET PEOPLE - BE SOCIAL - HAVE FUN.

So what do you have to offer - I was a Chef.

So off I went and read the papers, visited the DSS and looked on the net.

Well there I was, soon working in a Hotel in Wales. Middle of nowhere, but not so far in the sticks as not to be able to go out.

I used to go drinking on my days off and I met some really lovely people.

My Social life had begun.

Trouble is ! Jobs don't always last forever and then as a chef I was on the move again.

Well I covered quite a few places in England, Scotland and Wales, meeting nice and soimetimes not so nice people, but always having a social life of some kind.

Five children under my belt and guess what ?

Here I am again !

I have been with the love of my life for 14 years, she's lovely, can't stop loving her but I left a lot to be desired and she stopped loving me.

We are still friends but it is very painful to see her and I so wish to tell her how I feel, but do I want to lose her frienship too, because that would possibly be the outcome.

No I don't, so I will bare the pain and keep seeing her, maybe when I'm too old she will realise she still loves me but maybe not.

You might say, Well you are not lonely ! I am, I sit here and know I should be with her, but I can't be and Christmas is coming and guess where I will be !

You got it, sat here being lonely.

Well I am now going to study being lonely and keep this blog up to date, YOU can give me your feedback and thoughts and I will try to put them in some sort of order and keep this blog up to date with new and interesting information.

I have even opened a dating site for all those who want company on a short term no tie basis.

I am a member, but not dating as not ready to consider that yet.

The Site is:

http://notiedating.xxxdated.com/

Please take a look, it may be what you need and one day it may be what i need, but for now, its there for everyone else.

I would love to hear from you all, but I only speak english, so please bare that in mind.

If you want updates on my Blog, I will be creating an opt in or opt out mailing list, please join, if your not happy, opt out.

Lifes funny, but we are very resilient and always manage to pull through.

Let me have your comment or even your life story to add here.