Loner loved by Jesus -- my blog

our culture relentlessly seduce us to emptiness and disconnection from God

2008-12-29T06:19:00.000-08:00

Dearest David,

What you said is soooooooooooo succinctly true!

Allow me to quote you and share with many Christians and non-Christians here:

"What I have learned (at considerable personal cost) about being disconnected from God is that this division is always the result of my looking to the world for purpose rather than our Creator. Inevitably, after some consternation, I awaken to the reality that our cultural compasses are perpetually disorienting.

Contemporary culture relentlessly encourages us, even seduces us, to irrevocably link our identity to its trappings -- what we do, what we have, who we're with, and he like. But all of these connections are temporal. In the end, if we take our bearings from the culture around us, we are destined to experience emptiness, which it then offers to fill with various distractions and forms of sedation."

I have to say, you put it in words my deepest worry and sadness....

Let me keep praying...

2008-12-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

It is amazing!!!!
How come you can get >>>>>???

busy like ....

2008-12-31T01:22:00.001-08:00

I am in "deep water fire hot" Chinese saying for sooooo busy in the deepest shxt...

have so much homework to turn in today....
I think I'd di....e.....

ah My Lord help help!

Today's discoveries about Jung

2008-12-31T03:13:00.001-08:00

ah ah....

His religious view, a more human and contemp view, about God and Job's situation....
in Answer to Job

It is so interestingly similar in terms of the intensity and destruction & creativity impacted on me and that between the breakup of Jung & Freud, and my own breakup with my academic father, and in a way only have I realized that I need to grow up and stand up as an independent woman...

it has been 5 days?

2009-01-04T13:00:00.000-08:00

Oh... David,

It has been five days since I last published???? I thought that I discovered about Jung's Answer to Job like the day before yesterday... as I am still in the middle of searching for his books in libraries, but have to stop because I have to do my "job" first...

I guess I may need to publish quite few.... as my big big deadline is end of Jan 09. I really hope and pray that I can made it to hand in whatever I haven't done so in 2008.... regarding homework and work....

Thank you so much for your prayer support.... I have been in contemplation and have got enlightenment from my Lord in the past few days regarding my pain.

Thank you for this verse:
De 7:13
"He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground, your grain and your new wine and your oil, the increase of your herd and the young of your flock, in the land which He swore to your forefathers to give you. "

I am really struggling so hard and lost sight of my divine call, and nearly can't move on... I have to hang on to it, and face all the unfinished work and enjoy completing them by end of Jan 09.

I have to keep it up!!

By the way, how did you find that photo?????? Really shocked!

Wish you and your wife a rejuvenating year in your church and in Christ!

Mr WHO ?

2009-01-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

A New Start

to be written by the divine

Who's who ?

Waiting humbly at the spot... waiting.... waiting...

in the long long road ahead

with a open Question Mark

in unknown

Hope

Amen

no energy

2009-01-19T09:24:00.000-08:00

HI David,
Thanks for your information on nano-MRI machines.....exciting news indeed.
Though not many groups can afford that.

no mood really to work on so many things at the same time....

The mental health business... I don't know if it is getting anywhere.... I hope it can really help people.

My own crisis...want to rest and get away into new grounds...rather than staying at the same place.

Yes, waiting is not denial, it is just waiting. As I get my head into working, it doesn't feel so much like waiting.

Looking at my crisis, it is fire everywhere.... I kind of feel low energy to fight the fire, and I sit and see it spread....very horrible...

low low low energy...............

My heart is filled

2009-01-28T00:40:00.000-08:00

As an independent lady

My heart is filled with ... ...

kind wishes, hope, love

in this Chinese New Year of the Ox

....

My guided retreat...very very eager

2009-02-03T09:00:00.000-08:00

Looking forward to my time with God, my Lord...

"In the name of Jesus and by his authority I come, asking for the confirmation of the faith I have expressed here.

Fill me with it and let me walk according to your purposes. "

Amen.

----My prayer written by my friend from afar.

Praise the Lord! A life of Faith

2009-02-11T22:30:00.000-08:00

I am already looking forward to the next retreat in mid-March!!!!

The Provident Father shinning over us

Discernment

Consolation vs Dissolation

The answer to my prayer of discernment

March Marching to HEALING

2009-03-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

oh............it's already March!!!!

Thank you for David your kind words and prayer, spiritual support!

I have got your three emails, the most amazing one regarding a priest friend...
I catch a key word for my inner inner call during last sunday's sermon, "Healing".
Healing.. is something I believe in about God, and about my ontology.

This is something totally out of my expectation, and I am so thankful of God our Father, our Lord, our Light.

I also learn to really be very frank with God, and not to pretend anything, and just be naked before God. Pretense block my connection to myself and to my Lord, my God.

It is indeed a great lesson for me...

I also experience very unexpected revelations of God's work on my family, pray for the conversion, and thank for them to start asking themselves about life, meaning, and "what for?", as these have got to lead men to look for God, their missing piece in life.

Pray for families in US for their anchor in the midst of the financial sunami....
God, do not let them drift away in worries, anxieties, losses..

What does love mean?

2009-04-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

The following are direct quotations from www.minti.com of 4 to 8 years' old answers, very deep and profound answers....

What-does-love-mean

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint
her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the
time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." [Rebecca-
age 8]

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." [Billy - age 4]

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving
cologne and they go out and smell each other." [Karl - age 5]

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your
French fries without making them give you any of theirs." [Chrissy -
age 6]

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." [Terri - age 4]

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." [Danny - age
7]

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy
and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" [Emily -
age 8]

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents and listen." [Bobby - age 7] (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend
who you hate," [Nikka - age 6] (we need a few million more Nikka's
on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday." [Noelle - age 7]

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well." [Tommy - age 6]

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I
looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and
smiling.?He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
[Cindy - age 8]

"My Mommy loves me more than anybody .?You don't see anyone else
kissing me to sleep at night." [Clare - age 6]

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." [Elaine-
age 5]

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he
is handsomer than Robert Redford." [Chris - age 7]

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him
alone all day." [Mary Ann - age 4]

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." [Lauren - age 4]

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little
stars come out of you." (what an image) [Karen - age 7]

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think
it's gross." [Mark - age 6]

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if
you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." [Jessica - age
8]

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked
about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest
was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old
child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had
recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother
asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy
said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry!

Baile, Danz... I love

2009-05-07T06:12:00.000-07:00

Since my 2002 Flamenco trip....this is the first time I am picking up dancing again, just for myself, not for any degree, anyone else, just for myself.

The passion of dance, movement, caring about myself, my body.

Tango

Rumba

My Inner passion

2009-05-07T06:25:00.000-07:00

emotions.... energies.... complexeties... unstructured

Today

I have just formally withdrawal from the PsyD program that I had always wanted to do in the past 15years...

because I have run into something else more specific to my spirituality call, but I haven't yet arrived at the decision whether this is indeed THE psy bridge between Christian spirituality and psychotherapy..

Late for my Plane

2009-05-17T22:24:00.000-07:00

I am usually very late for everything.... and now for the first time, this belate-ness get over the broad...

For the first time, I am too late to broad on my plane.

It costs me the price of another 15hr-direct flight ticket!!!!!!!!!!!! Which is a lot to me!!!

I am already calculating how many dancing lessons or what that I can cut as a repay....

---------------

Dear David,

I really thank you very much for the reading of the VINE!!!

I have been thinking a lot these days about it.. I might very well get deeper into the vine of God but I missed the chance, or I have overlooked, or not treasuring the occassion, and trying to stand up on my own feet.

Stand into the shoes, stick into , plung into the trunk of Life... I am still pondering about it, about my block, and the temptations around me that divert me dangerously.

I should really take this as a lesson, and regret about not pulling up myself together to complete my tasks before I go on a trip...

xxxxx----******-------xxxxxx

Praying to God..I speak more on the phone these days than openning my heart to Him. Sometimes I don't know if I am already talking with him, and whether I am subtly receiving messages from him. I tend to seek for concrete responses from real person in front of me... and in a way, this is providing a bigger cover to me to hide behind, and not really get naked in front of myself.

my hostel room

2009-05-23T04:07:00.000-07:00

In Clarence Castle

Of course I prefer a single room..

But it is surprisingly ok, as all the gals in the room are super quiet, gentle, neat and tidy.. There are 8 of us sharing a room and one toilet. The room is quite spacious, just not clear from the picture, because I was not able to photo the large space in the middle, which is in front of the two beds.

This is the kitchen, full set of oven and stove..., and a small dinning area where we meet people from all the world...well, mainly French these days... as the hostel got a good review at a famous French travelling magazine, and suddenly the hostel is flux with French...so I thought that everybody here speak French at first when I arrive, oh no...just in this hostel...

We are lucky, it is all so sunny for the whole week, as said by the weather forcast.

oh here's the little park right outside this nice hostel..

It's the 5th day already... and is about to end....

----

Thank you very much for David's message! It is soothing.

Last week at the Jung Institute

2009-07-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

It has been nearly 2 weeks that I stayed here. Away from everybody, and new to everybody here.

They come from all around the world... Lativia, Brasil, Asia, US, France, Nigeria....

Everything seem to be from a fairytale....

I miss this place

2009-08-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

years years have passed...9 yrs ...12 yrs...

I read my thoughts written in 2000 when I was writing my first paper, doing n collecting AB data...

I can't believed that much time have passed...

Have I grown up a bit?

7 farewell lunches/parties were thrown in my last 2 weeks of stay...

this is the children's party... a dress-up party

One month at my new Job

2009-09-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

Oh Hi hi

I have been here for a month, heavy teaching load...

Just moved from my temporary office into this permanent office.

Before my decoration..

During decoration....

havn't finished yet... coming soon....

This is like my second home.

God, I feel very different these days, and I don't know what I am doing with my life, with my faith, and I am not er er don't quite know how to describe yet.

as a new assistant professor...new page in my life... and new responsibility

the last week of my 1st semester

2009-11-29T11:18:00.001-08:00

This is the last teaching week of my first ever crazy hectic semester as a univ prof....

2 full subjects as a subject leader, and 1 have subject that has to teach in alternative terms with my head, and 1 totally new subject for me to teach, and 1 small subject, and over 130 assignments, and 50 exams to mark...altogether 75 sets of lecture/tutorial/exam/quiz handouts to make in 3 months, die very hard....

and an end of a long run...wanting to believe making a new start...or running toward a new beginning...some story to begin, someone new to expect...many possibilities...many new beginnings.

My first play workshop

2010-01-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

Completion of my first play workshop, and I am now working on a play course and I would like to say thanks to everyone involved!

This is great fun!

My New Year Wishes, in 2010! Really a new and exciting opening of opportunities and chances.

Bride's maid the last time

2010-01-26T22:47:00.000-08:00

My best friend get marry too in the coming Sunday and I am her Bride's maid.

Looking forward to it...

Marriage is a new beginning and a hard one.

We really have nothing to control over, except to offer ourselves, and can only ask for God's help.

I sincerely feel the fear of uncertainty and about the different possibilities, possible difficulties, possible disappointments to come.

Do I really want to stay in this commitment?
One can only take one bit at a time.
One bit, bit by bit..

Is this a choice that has the support of my Father?

The only question left.

My Father, can I rely on your help? I can only have your help to help myself and my other half.

Happy Easter

2010-04-28T12:02:00.000-07:00

Feb Mar Apr May
I run different workshops and retreat in this period. Really thankful to be able to use sand as a meditation retreat for our teachers in a Christianity school, though half of the participants were not converted yet. Pray for them to become New Christians one day.

Happy Easter Retreat!

------
hey David
Thank you for your prayersssssss
Just thought of you today, your kind blessings...that's why post up here

Jesus' Gal

fireworks Zurich Festival

2010-07-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

2 July 2010

is the Zurich festival

crowded by the lake with people to see fireworks at 11.30-midnight!

it is my 3rd semester here and is coming to an end...

Dublin in Jun 2010

2010-07-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

My first time in the rich Dublin.