Look Confident

Build strong Communication skills

2010-07-31T10:32:00.000-07:00

1 Know what communication really is. Communication is the process of transferring signals/messages between a sender and a receiver through various methods (written words, nonverbal cues, spoken words). It is also the mechanism we use to establish and modify relationships.

2
Manifest constructive attitudes and beliefs. The attitudes you bring to communication will have a huge impact on the way you compose yourself and interact with others. Choose to be honest, patient, optimistic, sincere, respectful, and accepting of others. Be sensitive to other people's feelings, and believe in others' competence.

3
Make eye contact. Whether you are speaking or listening, looking into the eyes of the person with whom you are conversing can make the interaction more successful. Eye contact conveys interest, and encourages your partner to be interested in you in return. In less intimate settings, when giving a speech or when in front of several people, holding the eyes of different members of your audience can personalize what you are saying and maintain attention.

4
Be aware of what your body is saying. Body language can say so much more than a mouthful of words. An open stance with arms relaxed at your sides tells anyone around you that you are approachable and open to hearing what they have to say. Arms crossed and shoulders hunched, on the other hand, suggest disinterest in conversation or unwillingness to communicate. Often, communication can be stopped before it starts by body language that tells people you don't want to talk. Appropriate posture and an approachable stance can make even difficult conversations flow more smoothly.

5
Have courage to say what you think! Be confident in knowing that you can make worthwhile contributions to conversation. Take time each day to be aware of your opinions and feelings so you can adequately convey them to others. Individuals who are hesitant to speak because they do not feel their input would be worthwhile need not fear; what is important or worthwhile to one person may not be to another and may be more so to someone else. In a world so very big, someone is bound to agree with you, or to open your eyes to an even deeper perspective. The courage to say what you think can afford you the opportunity to learn more than you knew before.

6
Speak clearly enough to be heard. When you are saying what you think, have the confidence to say it so as to be heard. An appropriate tone and volume can inform listeners that you mean what you say, you have thought about what you are saying, and what you are saying is worth hearing. Using proper inflection helps ensure that your listeners hear exactly what you are saying, and reduces possibilities for misunderstanding.

7
Practice. Developing advanced communication skills begins with simple interactions. Communication skills can be practiced every day in settings that range from the more social to the more professional. New skills take time to refine, but each time you use your communication skills you open yourself to opportunities and future partnerships.
#
8
Develop effective listening skills. Not only should one be able to speak effectively, one must listen to the other person's words and engage in communication on what the other person is speaking about. Avoid the impulse to listen only for the end of their sentence so that you can blurt out the ideas or memories that come to your mind while the other person is speaking.

Article taken from http://www.wikihow.com/Develop-Good-Communication-Skills

Public speaking Tips

2010-07-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

Public speaking is the number one fear in most people, the number two would be fear of dying for most people. So many people get stressed out at the thought of speaking in public that many of us would like to avoid this problem entirely, but this is hard to do. If you are a small business owner, or as part of your current job you are expected to provide presentations to others, then you need to get over your fear of public speaking. If we want to be leaders or achieve anything meaningful in our lives, we will often need to speak to groups, large and small, to be successful.

The big secret behind the truth about public speaking is is IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE STRESSFUL! If you keep just a few key principles in mind, speaking in public will soon become an invigorating and satisfying experience for you.

So here are my five key tips for great public speaking:

1. Relax – remember the audience are there to hear what you have to say. They are looking forward to what it is you are going to deliver. They want you to succeed, therefore they are behind you.

2. Realise it is not about you – Remember, the essence of public speaking is to give your audience something of value. The audience are there to hear the message you are going to deliver. The purpose of public speaking is not for you to get something out of it from your audience. It is about YOU giving useful information to your audience.

3. Speak in simple terms – you don’t have to make it overly complicate,just get your message across in terms that are appropriate to the audiences needs. All you need are two or three main points to convey to your audience.

4. Don’t preach to your audience, instead try to engage with them, they will warm to you and interact in a positive way.

5. Inject a little Humour or tell a story (your story if appropriate). If being funny feels comfortable to you go for it, it usually works and breaks the ice letting the audience warm to you. Or if humour is not appropriate then tell a story that is relevant to the topic at hand.People tend to engage well with stories of meaning and if they have some personal bearing to you, the audience get a feel of what you are like as a person,therefore you are engaging.

Hope the top tips help you out when you next have a presentation or talk you have to do publicly. You will have noted that I did not mention ‘practice’ normally when you practice too often it tends to come out worse,instead carefully look at what message you are going to deliver and write down your key points that you want to get across. If the subject is something you are well versed on you should have no problem delivering your message, so go out there and DO IT!

Social Anxiety Disorder

2010-07-30T05:01:00.000-07:00

Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others.

A person with social anxiety disorder is afraid that he or she will make mistakes and be embarrassed or humiliated in front of others. The fear may be made worse by a lack of social skills or experience in social situations. The anxiety can build into a panic attack. As a result of the fear, the person endures certain social situations in extreme distress or may avoid them altogether. In addition, people with social anxiety disorder often suffer "anticipatory" anxiety -- the fear of a situation before it even happens -- for days or weeks before the event. In many cases, the person is aware that the fear is unreasonable, yet is unable to overcome it.

People with social anxiety disorder suffer from distorted thinking, including false beliefs about social situations and the negative opinions of others. Without treatment, social anxiety disorder can negatively interfere with the person's normal daily routine, including school, work, social activities, and relationships.

People with social anxiety disorder may be afraid of a specific situation, such as speaking in public. However, most people with social anxiety disorder fear more than one social situation. Other situations that commonly provoke anxiety include:

* Eating or drinking in front of others.
* Writing or working in front of others.
* Being the center of attention.
* Interacting with people, including dating or going to parties.
* Asking questions or giving reports in groups.
* Using public toilets.
* Talking on the telephone.

Social anxiety disorder may be linked to other mental illnesses, such as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. In fact, many people with social anxiety disorder initially see the doctor with complaints related to these disorders, not because of social anxiety symptoms.

Irrational Fears: The Three Different Kinds of Phobia
What Are the Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder?

Many people with social anxiety disorder feel that there is "something wrong," but don't recognize their feeling as a sign of illness. Symptoms of social anxiety disorder can include:

* Intense anxiety in social situations.
* Avoidance of social situations.
* Physical symptoms of anxiety, including confusion, pounding heart, sweating, shaking, blushing, muscle tension, upset stomach, and diarrhea.

Children with this disorder may express their anxiety by crying, clinging to a parent, or throwing a tantrum.
How Common Is Social Anxiety Disorder?

Social anxiety disorder is the most common anxiety disorder and the third most common mental disorder in the U.S., after depression and alcohol dependence. An estimated 19.2 million Americans have social anxiety disorder. The disorder most often surfaces in adolescence or early adulthood, but can occur at any time, including early childhood. It is more common in women than in men.
What Causes Social Anxiety Disorder?

There is no single known cause of social anxiety disorder, but research suggests that biological, psychological, and environmental factors may play a role in its development.

* Biological: Social anxiety disorder may be related to an imbalance of the neurotransmitter serotonin. Neurotransmitters are special chemical messengers that help move information from nerve cell to nerve cell in the brain. If the neurotransmitters are out of balance, messages cannot get through the brain properly. This can alter the way the brain reacts to stressful situations, leading to anxiety. In addition, social anxiety disorder appears to run in families. This means that the disorder may be passed on in families through genes, the material that contains instructions for the function of each cell in the body.
* Psychological: The development of social anxiety disorder may stem from an embarrassing or humiliating experience at a social event in the past.
* Environmental: People with social anxiety disorder may develop their fear from observing the behavior of others or seeing what happened to someone else as the result of their behavior (such as being laughed at or made fun of). Further, children who are sheltered or overprotected by their parents may not learn good social skills as part of their normal development.

How Is Social Anxiety Disorder Diagnosed?

If symptoms of social anxiety disorder are present, the doctor will begin an evaluation by asking questions about your medical history and performing a physical exam. Although there are no laboratory tests to specifically diagnose social anxiety disorder, the doctor may use various tests to make sure that a physical illness isn't the cause of the symptoms.

If no physical illness is found, you may be referred to a psychiatrist or psychologist, mental health professionals who are specially trained to diagnose and treat mental illnesses. Psychiatrists and psychologists use specially designed interview and assessment tools to evaluate a person for an anxiety disorder. The doctor bases his or her diagnosis of social anxiety disorder on reports of the intensity and duration of symptoms, including any problems with functioning caused by the symptoms. The doctor then determines if the symptoms and degree of dysfunction indicate social anxiety disorder.
How Is Social Anxiety Disorder Treated?

For social anxiety disorder, the most effective treatment currently available is cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT). Medication may also be used to help ease the symptoms of social anxiety disorder so that CBT is more effective. Drugs may also be used alone.

* Cognitive-behavior therapy: The goal of CBT is to guide the person's thoughts in a more rational direction and help the person stop avoiding situations that once caused anxiety. It teaches people to react differently to the situations that trigger their anxiety symptoms. Therapy may include systematic desensitization or real life exposure to the feared situation. With systematic desensitization, the person imagines the frightening situation and works through his or her fears in a safe and relaxed environment, such as the therapist's office. Real life exposure gradually exposes the person to the situation but with the support of the therapist.
* Medication: There are several different types of medications used to treat social anxiety disorder, including: antidepressants, like Paxil; tranquilizers (benzodiazepines), such as Xanax, Librium, Valium, and Ativan; beta-blockers, often used to treat heart conditions, may also be used to minimize certain physical symptoms of anxiety, such as shaking and rapid heartbeat.

Counseling to improve self-esteem and social skills, as well as relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, may also help a person deal with social anxiety disorder.

What Is the Outlook for People With Social Anxiety Disorder?

The outlook for those with social anxiety disorder is generally good with treatment. Many people recover and enjoy more productive lives.
Can Social Anxiety Disorder Be Prevented?

Unfortunately, social anxiety disorder cannot be prevented, but seeking help as soon as symptoms surface can help make treatment more effective.

Article taken from

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder

Feel Confident

2010-07-30T04:59:00.001-07:00

The importance of having and being self confident is talked about all the time.

But is it really that important?

Well let me tell you something. Confidence is the foundation to success, to achievement, to a sense of fulfilment. Confidence is the doorway to success. It is the entrance to the life that you want to lead and to the aspirations that you desire to have.

When you feel self confident you can boldly and courageously step forward and move ahead towards your ambitions, targets, objectives and goals. Again, it is the foundation to all achievements.

Read that again. I cannot emphasise enough how important it is.

A key element to getting and doing anything in life is self confidence. It is an essential part of a person's development and success, achievement and life as a whole.

How would you like to feel confident quickly and right now?

Here are 5 simple steps that will get you to feel self confident quickly:

1. Think of a specific situation where you want to feel confident. It could be work related or a personal event.

2. What has come to mind when you think about that situation? Are any of these thoughts familiar: "Oh, no! They can't ask me to do that." Or "I'll make a mess of things." Or "I'm really not up to this."

Pick one thought or picture that came to mind, one to focus on. No censoring. Feel whatever you are feeling. Allow that feeling to be there.

3. Now, ask yourself: "Am I willing to let go of this thought (picture or feeling)?" Are you willing to release the unconfident thought, feeling or picture that has come up?

By the way, if you said no, you are not willing to release that unconfident thought, feeling or picture, ask yourself: "Would I rather have this thought, (feeling or picture), or would I rather be free of it?"

You might say yes, or perhaps no. Either way, since you merely thought of the fact of getting rid of it, that alone gets the process of releasing started.

4. Now ask yourself: "When?" Here you are open to the invitation to let go of that thought (feeling or picture) NOW. So your response to when is, "Now."

5. Repetition is the mother of all skill. So repeat steps 1 through to 4 until you feel free of that particular feeling, thought or picture of un-confidence. Then go back and do the same process until all, or most of, the unconfident feelings have been released from your mind.

The idea here is not to hold on to the limiting beliefs of lacking self confidence. Release them, set them free and you, too, will be free.

Many people resort to cigarettes or alcohol to release their frustration, stress, or anxiety. What they do not realise is that their type of release is superficial. The underlying feeling or thought or pictures remain within.

However, using the above steps goes to work on your inner thoughts and feelings and sets you free of them over time once and for all. Cigarettes and alcohol do not do that.

This is a powerful way to set you free of any unwanted feelings or emotions. And the great news is that you can use this in any area of your life.

These steps are based on The Sedona Method, where you can be free of the blocks that hold you back.

Release, let go and live!

Build Self Confidence..

2010-07-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

Build Self Confidence

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front row

In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

What Is confidence??

2010-07-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. Arrogance or hubris in this comparison, is having unmerited confidence—believing something or someone is capable or correct when they are not. Overconfidence or presumptuousness is excessive belief, in someone or something, succeeding, without any regard for failure. Scientifically, a situation can only be judged after the aim has been achieved or not. Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.