Look Far

There Are No Rules

Amanda Linehan — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 02:50:18 +0000

Rules make us feel comfortable.

We follow the rules, do what we are supposed to do, and reap the reward at the end.

Follow the rules, get the prize. Easy.

Only I’m not so convinced that there really are any rules.

For one, rules can be circumvented. If you can find a way around the rule, while still technically not breaking the rule, then suddenly the rule doesn’t really exist.

And, rules can change (and quickly, too). Usually by someone or something powerful. And the rules that you have been following are now obsolete (along with your prize).

So what do you do when there are no rules? Break them all? Make your own? Go live by yourself on a mountain?

No. Just expect the rules will change.

You can follow them (it’s always your choice anyway), just know that the rules you follow now, you might not be following ten years from now.

Rules are always a part of a context, and when the context changes so do the rules. Rules don’t exist by themselves.

You might hear people say “that’s the exception, not the rule” to discredit the exception. But I find myself paying closer attention to the exception.

You never know, it might be the new rule one day.

Photo Credit: Carrie Scharf

Focus On The Process, Not The Results

Amanda Linehan — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 00:13:22 +0000

When I have a goal or I want something, I tend to get really caught up in the results that I’m looking for.

But what I’ve learned is that it’s better to focus on the process of what you’re doing, and let the results flow from there.

When I focus on results, I tend to tighten up creatively, because I’m attached to something particular happening. I miss good things along the way that might have helped me get to where I want to go, because they don’t seem to support the thing that I want.

I also miss out on a bit of adventure, because I’m trying too hard to hang on to certainty.

When I’m focused on the process of what I’m doing, I see things on the periphery that seem like they might be good to follow, so I do, and it usually turns out pretty well.

Also, I just enjoy myself more because I can let go of the anxiety I feel when I’m attached to a certain result. The path in front of me is richer because I can consider a detour at any time.

Take blogging, for instance. You can fret and worry about the traffic and subscriptions you are (or aren’t) getting, or you can focus on all the small pieces it takes to keep up a successful blog with a readership – posting consistently, creating the best content you can, responding to your readers, guest posting, sharing your content on social media (appropriately!), etc.

There is a lot you don’t control, but there are a few things that you do, so focus on doing those, and leave the rest up to the universe.

If you have a blog and do all those things above, in some time you will have a blog with a nice, steady readership, and maybe one day you’ll have wild success.

But I wouldn’t worry about that too much now, just do the little things. It’ll add up.

Photo Credit: Carrie Scharf

The Importance of Completing Things

Amanda Linehan — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:13:52 +0000

I‘m a great starter. I love to start things. It’s exciting, new and my energy is high.

I’m also a pretty decent finisher. Mostly because when you finish something then you get to start something new.

But it’s in the middle where I start to have issues.

In the middle, the novelty and excitement of a new thing has worn off, and the end is still a ways off. I find that where I sprint off at the beginning, in the middle I’m starting to drag my feet, trying to find the energy to keep moving forward.

Honestly, I just find middles a little boring. Which is why when I start something, I always make completion my goal. Otherwise I will start several things and never finish them. And then they will be sitting around, and I will never do anything with them.

When I commit to completing things, I grow during that activity because I have to take that thing from beginning to end, and endure all the parts in between. Also, at the end I have something to show for myself, even if it’s not very good. That’s a risk you take when you start something, though.

But the good news is, once you complete something and you start in on something new of the same sort, you now know the drill, and the second (or third, or fourth, or fifth) time around you have a better idea of what you are doing. And you improve.

But completion is instrumental in the improvement. I don’t think you are going to get the growth you want, without the completion.

If you know what NaNoWriMo is, you know that the goal is to write a novel in a month, which sounds crazy – and it is. But the whole point is to complete it, not to make it good quality, which seems like a really odd objective, but if you think about it, it’s not.

Many people never start the things that they want to do because they are afraid that it won’t be any good. So NaNoWriMo allows writers to go through the exercise of completing that novel that they’ve been thinking about, and lets them worry about quality later.

Because, probably, the kind of quality you are looking for won’t come for you on the first go-round. It will only come after completing a few things first.

And once you have a few completions under your belt, you won’t even notice the improvement that snuck up on you.

photo credit: Carrie Scharf

My Novel

Amanda Linehan — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:38:39 +0000

Hi Everyone! This is just a quick note to let you all know that I have written a novel and it is now available as an e-book on Kindle and Smashwords.

Uncover is just over 40,000 words in length (about 160 pages), and is suspenseful, young adult contemporary fiction. You can purchase it for $4.99 at either of the above places. You can also sample it for free (roughly the first 3 chapters or so) at both places.

Here is the description:

Marissa wants to put this all behind her. Her best friend, Olivia, has been killed in a car accident, and her death has left more questions than answers for those who knew her best.

When Olivia’s younger sister mentions a lost object that could bring some closure, Marissa reluctantly agrees to help search for it, not sure that she wants the answers she might find.

Along with a group of those closest to Olivia, she sets out to seek the truth, only to find herself trapped in the dark, making all the wrong moves. In order to reclaim her freedom, she must find a way out of the darkness.

Something she’s not sure she can do.

Purchase or sample Uncover on Kindle

Purchase or sample Uncover on Smashwords

If you purchase Uncover and you like it, please consider leaving a review on the site where you bought it (and/or any other places where you might post book reviews like your own blog or Goodreads). That would be very helpful!

Also, I have added a page to the blog, entitled My Books, that I will update as Uncover is available in more places or in other formats (I’m planning on doing a paperback version).

OK, that’s it for now! I also wanted to mention that I will be picking up a more regular posting schedule again (roughly once a week). Thanks for reading!

When In Doubt, Smile

How To Solve Any Problem

Amanda Linehan — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:01:28 +0000

The simplest way to tackle any problem:

Always Go Forward

Even the tiniest motion forward is better than standing still (or going backward – although you can actually go backwards to move forward, but that’s another post). Huge problems become manageable when you commit yourself to going forward. Just a little forward motion every day will add up, so keep that in mind when it feels like you’re not making the progress you want.

Break It Down Into Simple Steps

One way to keep going forward is to break your problem down into simple steps. Every large undertaking is made up of a series of steps, make these as simple as possible, so that you can take one or two at a time and not feel overwhelmed. One tiny step at a time is still forward motion.

Don’t Panic

The most important step of all. Depending on how large/unwieldy/seemingly impossible of a problem you have, you may be tempted to panic. Remembering the first two steps is one way to keep panic at bay. But also keep in mind that if it’s your problem, you have the ability to handle it. Panicking will only make the problem seem impossible to solve. It’s not.

photo credit: kevin dooley

The Small Tasks of Life

Amanda Linehan — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 15:36:46 +0000

I can’t understand how the kitchen always needs to be cleaned. Dirty dishes, crumbs on the floor, spills on the counters. I know most people eat at least three times a day, but still, I feel like I am constantly cleaning the kitchen.

Even though I love having a clean kitchen, I can’t always bring myself to clean it up immediately after I’ve used it. It feels too tedious, too boring, too mundane. But eventually it needs to be done.

So I start cleaning it up, putting things back into the pantry, putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher, hand washing various pots and pans. Soon it’s all done and it feels great, but what about the fifteen or so minutes that I spent with my hands in dishwater? Is it just a necessary evil?

Meditation

Despite (or maybe because of) the fact that they are routine, household chores can be meditative. It’s not all about mantras and following your breath. Taking a routine activity and being present during it can be a form of meditation.

You don’t have to use your brain much because chores are just manual labor. This is good for taking yourself out of your mind and away from your thoughts.

And, these tasks are the things that support life itself. Everyone has to eat, which means we all have to use the kitchen, which means cleaning it up and maintaining it are a part of nourishing our bodies, which means that doing the dishes is directly in support of life itself.

Exciting, Grand Moments

Hopefully you’ve had a few of these. Maybe you won a state championship when you were in high school. Maybe you landed your dream job, or traveled to a place that you always wanted to visit. We need some exciting moments when life seems to be more than we could have imagined.

But life doesn’t consist of those moments. Really, they are few and far between (otherwise they wouldn’t be exciting!). Which means that mostly our lives consist of small, routine, daily tasks. These are the bulk of our experience. And they are essential to our lives.

The Tasks That Support Life

I’m writing a novel. Actually it’s already written. I’m now in the process of getting it ready to be published. There is a lot I don’t know, a lot I’ve had to learn, and a lot of time and energy put towards this project.

I will be excited when this is all finished, when my book is completely ready for publication (I’ve been working on this for two years). But really, most of this process was mundane.

There were a few cool moments – like finishing the first draft and seeing the finished cover for the first time. But mostly, it was just me sitting down every day to write, writing 500 – 750 words, and then moving on with my day. Writing this book became just a part of my daily routine.

You need to have some exciting moments, and you will have them. But, remember, that’s not what the bulk of your life consists of. Your life is not all champagne and reaching the summit of Mt. Everest, mostly, it’s just doing the dishes.

photo credit: sarniebill1

Enjoy What You Consume

Amanda Linehan — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 14:03:40 +0000

We tend to consume a lot of stuff. But we don’t always enjoy the stuff we consume. Likewise, sometimes there is something we would enjoy but we don’t pursue it for one reason or another.

If you really enjoy something, you should go towards that thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s expensive or inexpensive, produced by a large company or produced by one person, very popular or known only to a small group.

No matter what it is, where it came from, who made it or how it’s advertised, if you enjoy it, that’s all that matters.

It’s hard to decide what you should consume because there are so many choices. Sometimes there is pressure to consume things that everyone wants – products or services that are heavily marketed and produced by large companies. And sometimes there is the opposite pressure – to consume things that only a few people know about, that are produced by smaller businesses or maybe just one person.

But really, there is only one way to decide if you should consume something. Ask yourself:

Will I Enjoy This?

You might think that if everyone consumed everything they enjoyed, our consumption would go through the roof. But I don’t think so. If everyone only consumed what they really, truly enjoyed our consumption would become much less.

Think about all of the trips to the mall you have ever made and the purchases you made on those trips. Do you know where most of those things are now? Do you even care where most of those things are now?

Now think about purchases you have made that you continue to use regularly (maybe many years later) and enjoy using. How many of those items can you think of?

When I first started working I didn’t make very much money. I could cover my bills and put a little in savings (and I considered myself fortunate for both of those things) but didn’t have much left over.

When I wanted to buy something I had to ask myself if I really, really wanted it. This applied to all of the typical stuff you might buy on a regular basis – clothes, DVDs, CDs (at the time), books, movies, restaurants, etc.

If I didn’t really, really want it, I wouldn’t buy it because I just didn’t have that much money to spend. Even as I began to earn more money, I still followed this philosophy because I brought less stuff into my life and really enjoyed the things I had.

This was a great lesson to learn.

Next time you are about to buy something, ask yourself: how much will I enjoy this? Let the answer guide your decision.

photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography

The Spider

Hi, My Name Is… (Video Post)

Amanda Linehan — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 14:08:36 +0000

I’ve been wanting to experiment with a video post for a while now, so here it is! This is just a (very) short video to “introduce” myself and say thank you! (If you are reading this in an email you may need to click through to the post to see the video.)

Discover The Art Of Small Talk

Amanda Linehan — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 13:08:17 +0000

Small talk makes many people nervous. Especially those of us who are introverts or INFPs (like I am).

The good news is, your ability to make small talk can be refined over time. Going from inept to adept is just about keeping a few simple ideas in mind.

Small talk is about connection, not content.

You might be someone who enjoys having deep conversations about topics that really fascinate you with one or two other people. Keep making the time and space to do this. But when you are out and about in the world, it will probably be more appropriate to make small talk.

Making small talk is just about connecting with the people around you. All different types of people. Maybe people who really don’t care to have in depth conversations.

Small talk can even be fun. You can connect with someone in a short period of time by simply communicating with them. About what, it doesn’t matter!

Talk about the most obvious things.

This is one of the most important things to remember in your small talk practice. The most obvious topics make the best small talk.

You are looking for things that will appeal to the most people. So things like the weather, traffic conditions, what so and so wore on XYZ awards show are all great topics for small talk. Basically, if it pops into your mind quickly, it’s probably a great topic for small talk.

When all else fails, ask questions.

If you are in a situation that calls for small talk, and you find yourself starting to sweat with anxiety, ask a question. Again, make it something obvious: “How long have you been working here?” “How do you know so and so?” “Where are you from?” These things sound cliche, and they are, which makes them perfect for small talk.

The great thing about asking questions is that the other person gets to talk, and you get to listen, which I’m betting you probably prefer. Also, it doesn’t hurt that people love being asked about themselves.

photo credit: limaoscarjuliet

Google Plus

Amanda Linehan — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 14:48:01 +0000

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I am on Google Plus, and if you’d like to add me to one of your circles, here I am.

I am still playing around with it right now, as I expect everyone is, but just wanted to let you know that you can find me there.

P.S. If you want a Google Plus invite, click here to get one.

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