Los Sotomayors

Beauty in the Ordinary

2017-11-16T21:03:00.000-07:00

Life has been busy. I guess that's the norm in the season. I hate that I have neglected blogging lately. It's a struggle to find a minute to sit down in peace and just be. It's hard to find words when I feel like my brain is just jumbled with the day in and day out. A never ending "to do" list running on repeat through my mind. Quieting the noise hasn't been my forte. I guess you could say that's a goal for 2018. Finding more time for quiet. More time to just be in the moment. For just a few minutes let go of being mom, wife, teacher. To just take a step back and examine life. This past week I was challenged through one of those silly Facebook challenges that I usually ignore. Except this one was intriguing to me. I had seen several friends share their 7 days of black and white photos of their lives, no people and no explanation, and I found their photos interesting. Usually photos posted on social media involve people. Kids, family, spouses, friends. I could tell some people found it more challenging to photograph the parts of their life that we don't often focus on. Some clearly tried to set up the perfect shot. I'll admit, that's what I wanted to do first. I wanted to snap a photo with perfect lighting...the perfect composition. I wanted to photograph the parts of my life that make me seem half way interesting. But this proved to be more challenging that I anticipated. Especially when my kids could not be the subjects. And then I started to look at the most ordinary pictures in my every day life, and it was in those seemingly simple objects and scenes that I found the most beauty. A picture of the desert that represents the start to our story. A place we will always call home. A place that holds many special memories. Photos of that part of our lives are all over our home and I love looking at them and thinking back on our time in Phoenix. A picture of my desk at school. Something I see every single day, but it represents a significant part of my life. A career I am passionate about. In a school that feels like home. Rain drops on my classroom window. Something I wouldn't typically take note of, but beautiful none the less. Tevez. Our sweet pup that too often goes unappreciated in our home. He is deserves far more attention, love, and affection than we could ever provide....yet there he is, day in and day out, loving us unconditionally. Greeting us each and every day when we arrive home. Toys. Toys everywhere. And Crayons. And papers of artwork and schoolwork. Coyote. Luca's stuffed animal that we purchased at the airport in Phoenix on our flight home when we moved back. He was sick that morning. I was pregnant with Mila, emotional, stressed, and not feeling so hot myself. I just wanted to fix everything. To make him feel better. To reassure my not quite 3 year old that everything was going to be okay despite the fact that he was sick and we were leaving the only home he had ever known. And back to the toys. The simple fact that my house is always wrecked by kid toys and laundry and messes is something to behold. Even though most days I just bemoan it. Looking back a little over 7 years ago and there were many days I wondered if we would ever be able to have children. If our house would ever be filled with toys. Here we are, two amazing kids that love to drive us crazy fighting bedtime, fighting with each other. Making endless messes. And endless memories. This stage will pass us by much too fast. Even when the days seem so long and I struggle to recognize the most simple moments, the most ordinary every day moments, as the most beautiful.

Henoch-Schonlein Purpura (HSP)....is very uncool.

2017-08-27T19:46:00.001-07:00

After a fun filled summer, we were all getting back into the routine of school...literally three days into the new school year. First grade for me and first grade dual language for Luca. Lots of changes for everyone and big adjustments. The first Sunday after school started Luca was playing in the yard and came in complaining that his feet hurt. When he took his shoes off I noticed that the soles of his feet were bruised. I thought this was odd, but I attributed it to him wearing shoes that didn't fit properly to play football with dad that afternoon. We had him rest for the evening, and sent him off the next morning for his 4th day of school. When he came home from school, he was limping a little and when I checked out his feet I was surprised that his ankles were swollen. I assumed it was an injury, but it seemed weird that it was both feet and ankles. I had him ice his ankles, and I noticed some red spots on his legs that looked like bug bites. I didn't think much of it because he had been in the yard all weekend and bug bites were not uncommon. By the time Santi got home from work we were getting concerned because he wasn't putting weight on either foot. Santi took him to urgent care, and I was shocked when he texted me and told me the doctor there thought it was an autoimmune issue and wanted bloodwork right away. He had done a urinalysis there in urgent care that thankfully came out fine, so he said it would be okay to just wait and do the bloodwork at the pediatrician's office the next morning. We were completely freaked out, but trying not to let Luca know. The doctor in the urgent care center had given us a diagnosis of HSP, but we needed the pediatrician to confirm. Sure enough, the pediatrician was convinced that it was HSP. It was a relief to have a diagnosis and a relief (after lots of research) to find out that it was something that would go away on its own. BUT...it could be up to 6 weeks or more before he is symptom free. And literally the only thing we can do for him is ice and Motrin for join pain and swelling. After the initial diagnosis, the next week was pretty rough. He missed two and a half days of school due to pain and swelling (and doctor appointments), but he toughed it out the rest of the week. By the time he got home each day he was really in pain, and it was heartbreaking to see him go straight to the couch after school, barely able to walk. His knees and ankles would be huge, and the rash was spreading to his arms and all the way up to his stomach. We are now at the end of week 2 with this illness, and I would like to believe it's getting better, but it may just be that we are managing his pain better. This past week we made sure to communicate directly with the nurse at school so he could go lay down in the afternoons and get ice when needed. His teachers have been super supportive too, but I know he doesn't like to complain so we have had to have them encourage him to take a break and sit out from recess. Which is also very difficult for him. Probably more difficult than being in pain. We also started giving him Motrin first thing in the morning before the pain and swelling start rather than waiting until after school when he is already suffering. It has also made his school day much easier and he's been able to enjoy recess again. Today we tried to skip the Motrin since it wasn't a school day, but he was in pain by the afternoon again. No swelling this time, so I am hopeful we are headed in the right direction. I hate seeing him in pain, and bummed out when he can't get up to run around and play. And I hate seeing him covered in this angry red rash with the bruising and discoloration. He even had bruising on the back of his ear!!! Besides all the obvious frustrations of this illness for everyone (especially Luca), there is a constant worry that new symptoms could appear or he could have kidney issues as a result. There are complications we could run into that are rare, but we have to watch out for them. There is also the frustration of knowing there is literally nothing we can do for him but wait it out. No "cure". Steroids are an option if it gets too unbearable, but we don't want to go that route. There is also very limited information out there regarding HSP since it is so uncommon. This has also made it feel very isolating. So, here we go into week 3 and I am praying that we see relief within the next week. I will be so relieved when he is symptom free and back to his normal self again. And I decided to blog about our experience with HSP, because one thing that has really helped me through this is to read a couple of blogs by other moms who have been down this road with a child who is now fully recovered. But there were literally only 2 blogs I found. I am hopeful that this blog post may help someone else who is struggling through this illness, or if you have any experience with HSP I would love to hear some encouragement!!! I will continue to update on his progress, and I am hoping to soon write a post saying that he is 100% better and we are off to ride Go Karts in Indy (which is our plan when he is fully recovered)!!

Summer Vibes

2017-06-02T19:04:00.001-07:00

Blogging hasn't been as easy lately. I am finding it more and more difficult to get a quiet minute to sit down with a busy two year old and energetic almost 6 year old. I can't believe I just typed that. Luca is going to be 6?!?! It just doesn't seem possible. I am not sure which sounds more crazy, the fact that he is turning 6 or the fact that we just celebrated his kindergarten graduation. My baby is a full on big kid. FIRST GRADE. At least kindergarten still sounded like "little kid". Ok, ok I know he is still very much a little kid. And not just by his size. But for some reason reaching the "grade" stage of school just sounds so much more grown up. I don't know. Speaking of first grade...I am returning to first grade in August. After three years of teaching reading intervention I will be back in the classroom. I have mixed emotions about this change, but I can honestly say that I am mostly excited. Ask me again in December and I may have a different answer. I knew this was a possibility due to funding cuts in Title 1, and to be "safe" and avoid me getting a RIF (reduction in forces) notice my principal stuck me in a classroom position. It may be that the funding does go through and my Title position doesn't get cut this coming year...but we know that Title is slowly getting defunded. She does not want to lose me, so she is securing my position at my school. I am flattered that she thinks so highly of me, but it also feels like a lot of pressure! I have learned a LOT these last three years in Title 1. A lot about teaching reading and a lot about how to best support our unique body of economically disadvantaged children who often come with all of the affects of trauma. It's not for everyone. But I honestly feel that this is where my heart is right now. I loved teaching English as a second language, and I still love my English language learners, but I also feel like God led me to Fairview for a reason. Not only was my Title position absolutely perfect as we transitioned to our ~~new~~ old home in Indiana and added Mila to our family, but I feel like He put me at Fairview because He was calling me to serve these children. And now being back in the classroom I feel like I have the opportunity to make an even bigger impact in the lives of our students and their families. I know I will need to rely on Him for strength to do this, and to do it well, but I feel pretty good about this ~~new~~ old journey. I know I am meant to be in the classroom. It will definitely be an adjustment again, but I know it will be rewarding too. And I couldn't have a better team supporting me. So...Luca and I will both be in first grade next year! This also leads me to some exciting news about Luca! He will be in a dual language immersion classroom for first grade, which I could not be more thrilled about! I had wanted him to be able to attend an immersion school, but I never imagined that it would be a possibility right here in Bloomington and at OUR neighborhood school! Just another God moment. They just announced this new program for incoming kinder and 1st graders this spring and we jumped at the opportunity. What an amazing experience for him to be taught in both of his languages throughout his school day. He will be able to learn to read and write in BOTH languages, which is amazing! He will spend half of his day in Spanish with a new teacher, and the other half in English with his former kindergarten teacher who was absolutely awesome! He is super excited he gets to have her again. And he will have many of his friends from kindergarten in his class. They will continue on through 6th grade in this program together.
So Ms. Mila. I guess I need to get back to my Dear Luca and Dear Mila posts! Mila is most definitely a two year old. She is determined to do everything herself. She has to climb in her carseat by herself, wipe her own nose, flush the toilet herself, wash her hands herself. She also talks nonstop. Sometimes I have no idea what she is talking about, but she loves to tell stories. My mom said I used to do the same thing. She also likes to pick up books and pretend to read them out loud. Usually something random gets thrown in there like "chicken nuggets are hot" or something equally crazy that just comes to her mind. She is fully potty trained now, which is super awesome. She is so sweet. She loves to give hugs and kisses, and she is always saying "I love you mommy!". She loves to copy anything and everything her big brother does...which isn't always a good thing. She still hates to sleep. Summertime is rough because she refuses to nap and then is a hot mess by the evening. She just never wants to miss anything. She also still ends up in mommy and daddy's bed almost every night. But I am okay with it now that she doesn't nurse. I actually enjoy the cuddles from my baby. I know she is our last and her baby features are fading far too quickly. Like Luca's...it seems they just disappear overnight. Those chubby hands and feet. No more diaper bottom. Ugh....I am not an emotional or sensitive person. I didn't shed a tear when Luca graduated kindergarten or when I sold the last of the baby items, but I know I will miss these days. I enjoy watching my babies grow though. It's so fun to see who they are becoming. So conflicted.
So for now it's summer. And our calendar is already full of fun things. I am looking forward to soaking up the sunshine and enjoying lazy days with my babes. I love this time of year. The late evenings outdoors, swimming, hiking, traveling. No real rush to get anywhere. I am going to enjoy these days while they last, because I know this next school year is going to be BUSY.

In Like a Lion

2017-03-10T20:14:00.000-07:00

Wow. Here we are in March already. I sure wish it felt like March. Spring break officially started at 4pm today. Yesterday it was 70 degrees and sunny, today it's been 40's and windy. And of course the weather outlook for our spring break week is looking pretty glum. We had quite a few sunny days scattered throughout February that sure felt like spring. But March has decided to do its thing, so alas we will wait for our real spring. As for us, we are just chugging along through the remainder of this school year. Usually I look forward to the end of the school year with anticipation as any teacher does. But this year I am not sure. Luca will be finished with kindergarten. His first year of elementary school. There just seems to be such a big difference between kindergarten and first grade. First grade just makes him sound like such a big kid. I mean, dropping him off at school in the mornings and seeing him walk right in those big double doors on his own, alongside kids twice his size...it still gets me. I still see that tiny little Luca that we used to drop off at daycare every day in Arizona. First in the baby room, which I still remember so clearly. Then the toddler room. Now all of a sudden he is big enough to just walk right in himself with a backpack as big as he is. And I have been reminded repeatedly lately that Ms. Mila isn't so much a baby herself anymore. She is talking up a storm lately. She's so funny and even though she has really started to test boundaries...and we've gotten a glimpse of the "terrible twos" lately...this really is a fun age. She is really a sweet little girl. I can already see what a big heart she has. She is always giving kisses and hugs. Tonight she saw me cleaning up her play doh mess and came over to help...without me even asking. She just recognized that I needed some help. It's also been neat to see Luca and Mila's relationship develop. They are starting to play more together, and although that also means fighting and irritating each other often, they also have many sweet moments that I just want to freeze. Time flies. Besides the everyday, Santi and I have been working towards our fitness and personal health goals in the last month or so. I feel like we are making some progress and moving in the right direction finally, and I am looking forward to sharing that journey and the changes along the way. I think we have some exciting things coming in the months ahead.

Dear Ms. Mila...

2016-12-30T21:11:00.002-07:00

Mila Paz,
We are just a week away from your 2nd birthday and I just can't wrap my mind around it. I must say, I absolutely LOVE the little person you are becoming. Your personality has really blossomed in the last couple of months and it's just so much FUN! I think I am really going to enjoy the "terrible twos" with you. Honestly, other than your constant battle with sleep...you are a pretty easy going kid. You are sugar and spice....but more sugar than spice...usually. You are talking up a storm lately and you are oh so funny...and adorable. I can't even handle your cuteness most days. I forgot how fun the early talking days are. You know, before I just want you to be quiet for 2 seconds😁. Lately you are loving Mickey Mouse, dancing, playing with baby dolls and your doll house, sleeping with 24,207 stuffed animals and babies, eating soup and rice, coloring (on anything and everything 😐), copying everything your big brother "Wuca" does, playing vet with Tevez, and play doh. The big news around here is that you FINALLY started sleeping through the night in your own bed!!! Even though bedtime is still a long process while you situate, cover and uncover your 24,207 babies and stuffed animals, give them all a drink of water, and turn your sound machine on and off about 35 times....you typically fall asleep and stay that way until around 5-6am...at which point you still come to our bed so mommy can catch a little more shut eye. But, I am super proud of this accomplishment. It's a really big deal going from sleeping with mommy and daddy every night and nursing several times a night to sleeping all night in your own bed...and you did it! Even though nights have improved, you are still very much into your nursing during the day. Especially on days when mommy is home all day. As much as I have enjoyed our nursing relationship...I think 2 years is long enough! I am hoping you will be such a busy little 2 year old that you will soon be ready to let it go. Next week we are going to spend your birthday at the Children's Museum with your cousins, and then celebrate here with Abuelitos and Grandpa and Grandma with Minnie Mouse cupcakes. I can't wait to take on 2 with you! We love you to the moon and back Mila Paz!!!

Another Year Gone By

2016-12-30T20:55:00.003-07:00

As 2016 comes to a close, I have many mixed emotions. This is the first time that I can recall that I am actually feeling uneasy about the start of a new year. Typically I feel energized and motivated when a new year rolls around. It's a new beginning, a fresh start. A chance to reflect on the year that is ending and look at areas in your life you wish to improve upon. Time to set goals. Make plans...list your hopes and dreams for the new calendar year. 2016 was not particularly difficult for my family or in my own personal life. In fact, it was actually the first year in our almost 10 years of marriage that I can recall in which we had no major life changes or occurrences. No moving, babies, pregnancies, illnesses (thankfully), job changes, school, major trips, or otherwise life altering happenings...good or bad. While I am guilty in the past of praying for an "easy" year at the beginning of a new year, I know that while your comfort zone is just that...comfortable...it's not a place of growth. So even though 2016 was mostly kind to us, and mostly easy, I am ready for 2017 to shake things up a little. I am hoping this year we can make some positive changes for our family in several areas, and there is one big risk in particular that I am contemplating. Maybe it's not so much a risk, but a challenge I may be taking on. More on that when I work through it a little more. But back to that uneasy feeling as 2017 quickly approaches. 2016 may have been a quiet year in our little corner, but for the world and for our country it was anything but. On a national and global level, 2016 was filled with devastation, hate, hurt, loss. Mass shootings, Aleppo, police violence, terror, ISIS, natural disasters...and at the forefront of my mind the ridiculous political season that culminated with the election of someone I believe to be completely unfit to serve as our Commander in Chief. I could go on and on about the many reasons his presidency fills me with fear, but it's already out there. I am not alone by any stretch of the imagination. There are many real reasons that we as a country should be deeply concerned about him taking office in just a few weeks. And I am baffled by the fact that so many people still legitimately believe that he is qualified to hold one of the most powerful positions in the entire world. Mostly my fear is for my children. The decisions he makes in the coming months and years will impact the lives of my children...and all children...for decades to come. Decisions regarding our environment, public education, human rights, war, nuclear weapons...it's truly scary. But I have to continually remind myself that my God is bigger than all of that, and ultimately His plan will prevail. He is in control. And maybe this is all just a wake up call for our country. So as we move into 2017, may it bring peace and hope to our hurting world...may it bring our country together as we strive to become the country we were created to be. And may my own family be challenged in ways that cause us to grow, set goals and accomplish them, make positive changes in health and wellness, grow closer together, closer to Him, and reach out to love and serve others in our community.

Our Crazy Beautiful Life

2016-10-26T18:58:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since I took the time to sit down and blog. We have been engrossed in the day to day since the start of the school year. The first couple of months of a new school year are always busy...and sometimes downright exhausting. We are almost 3 months into kindergarten...and my 11th year of teaching. I am thrilled to say that Luca LOVES kindergarten and he is THRIVING. I could not be more happy. He is excited and ready to go every morning, and he comes home happy each afternoon. He loves his teacher, and he has made many new friends. He is also learning so much and it has been really fun listening to him tell us all about it. He continues to amaze me every day with new things he can do or things he knows. The one challenge for me has been finding the time in the evenings to incorporate some learning at home. I love reading with Luca, and being a reading teacher myself I always want to work with him on sounding out words, reading sight words, and all of the things I know he needs to become a good reader. But I have also been teaching reading ALL DAY. And he has been focused and engaged in learning ALL DAY. And he isn't a huge fan of mommy as a teacher. And I am tired. And I just want to hang out with Luca. And Mila needs my attention too. And I have to make dinner. And clean up dinner. And do baths. And then it's bedtime before we know it. Tomorrow we have his first parent/teacher conference. Being on the other side of the table will definitely be a different experience for me. Sigh. I am sure she will have good things to say.
Ms. Mila has been talking up a storm lately. FINALLY. I was a little worried because she was taking a little longer than Luca, but now her vocabulary is exploding in English AND Spanish! She repeats everything all day long. She will see her baby doll and say "baby crying". She calls Spiderman "man"...and has also started referring to actual spiders as "man". So funny. She loves saying "bye" and "ciao" and waving/blowing kisses to everyone. She asks for her favorite "show" every morning...Mutt and Stuff. It's a kid show with actual trained dogs. Of course she would love a show about dogs. She still loves animals, especially dogs and her "Tay". She loves making animal sounds and knows many animal names. She calls her two favorite foods (peas and blueberries) "bubbles" because they are round. She also loves actual bubbles. She loves climbing on anything and everything, and she is constantly climbing into her highchair on her own...including standing on top of the tray. She will climb up and say "eat"...even though most of the time she does't really want to eat. She is a pretty picky eater like Luca was. She will eat all day with Abuelita....but it's another story at home. She loves "counting" things. She has heard Luca count and I believe she is also listening to me count backwards from 5 when Luca has been warned to do something...ha ha ha. Tonight we read a counting book and she said "5, 4, 3". She loves coloring, painting, play doh, and anything artistic. She holds a crayon perfectly, and she will sit contently for a long time just coloring. She also loves cleaning up messes and she is a great helper! Tonight she stepped on some Goldfish on the floor and was picking up the pieces and putting them into the trash. She is particular about things, and she knows where everything goes. She even cleans up after Luca. Her other favorite thing is being outside. She loves to swing, and she really loves riding around the neighborhood in her little pink car. She is Ms. Independent all the way. She refuses to ride in strollers or the Ergo anymore, and most of the time she refuses to hold anyone's hand when we are out and about. Which can be particularly challenging. Even though she is independent with some things, she is still very much a mommy's girl. And she can be super shy when she's around new people. But it's getting better, and she has stayed in the church nursery without a problem the last two weeks! Sleeping is still a struggle with her. She has never once slept through the night. And she is still nursing several times a night and sleeping in our bed for half of the night. But my plan is to really work on weaning before she turns 2...shhhhh don't tell. As much as I am thankful that I was able to exclusively nurse her for a long time and continue with extended breastfeeding...we have reached that point where I am ready to be able to comfort her in other ways, and I am SO ready to sleep like a normal human.
As for Santi and I. Well we are just working on finding balance between work, kids, home life, faith, marriage, family. This is always our challenge, and we are always in search of new ways to make the most of our time as busy working parents of two. Most weeknights by the time the kids are finally asleep...which unfortunately still takes forever....we are too exhausted to do anything but pack lunches and crash on the couch. Weekends are busy just catching up with housework, grocery shopping, meal prep, and laundry. We struggle to make time for date nights, time with our families, individual time with the kids, and just time for ourselves....time to exercise, relax, get away for a moment of peace. I know it will come. Mila won't be little for long. And Luca is already getting more independent. I am just going to try to stay in the moment and do what I can when I can. And focus on the important things. And drink lots of coffee.

Oh...and just for fun here are a couple shots from our fall family photos. Mila refused to cooperate, but we still got some sweet shots of the little stinker.

KINDERGARTEN!

2016-08-09T19:18:00.002-07:00

My baby is starting kindergarten tomorrow!!!! I am beyond exhausted right now. Being a teacher mom is hard. Being a teacher mom with a baby starting kinder is really really hard. But I am putting aside the strong desire to crawl into bed right this second. Because I want to capture this very moment in time. I need to blog about all the emotions I am feeling the night before I send my first born child off to the big wide world. Kindergarten is a whole new beast. I know it, I taught it for many years. And now I get it. I get why it's so hard for parents to let go and leave their kids that first day. Good thing Santi is dropping him off tomorrow. As much as I want to be there, being a teacher myself means that I have to leave this one up to daddy. And that's ok. It's probably easier on us both. I think I am still in denial. We have read all the books. We attended his teacher meet and greet tonight. I love his teacher. She seems fantastic. Her room looks like it came straight out of Pinterest. She sent him home with a little baggie of magic confetti to put under his pillow tonight to help him sleep. But I know that the thing that matters more than any of that is how she will love and teach MY baby. I always referred to my students as "my babies". And to me they were. But they were also someone else's baby first. And I knew that I was entrusted with their care and education each and every day. And that's a huge responsibility. My prayer for Luca's teacher this year is that she would love him for who he is. That she would recognize his unique qualities that make him special. That she would encourage his imagination and fuel his love for learning. That she would teach him all the things he REALLY needs to know...like how to be a friend, how to lift someone up when they are feeling down, how to be independent, how to persevere through challenges, to not be afraid to try new things, to show compassion to others...the things that will carry him through life beyond academics. I hope that this new school year is filled with special memories and firsts for Luca, that he makes new friends, grows his confidence, and experiences new and exciting things. So tomorrow I send my baby off to kindergarten. I can only hope I will be too busy on my own first day of school to think about it. But I know he will be on my mind all day.

Happy Golden Birthday to Our Sweet Boy

2016-07-03T19:26:00.001-07:00

Five. Our baby is turning FIVE. He's not a baby anymore, not even a toddler or preschooler...he's a full blown big kid now. Our little firecracker. He came in with a bang the day after the 4th of July, and he's been full of fun and spark ever since. He continues to keep us on our toes, and while parenting him can be exhausting at times, frustrating at times, and even down right maddening on occasion...I wouldn't want it any other way. His strong will and stubbornness will serve him well as he chases his dreams in life and pursues his happiness. Whatever that may be. And along the way I have learned a little about grace. He is determined without a doubt. He knows what he wants, and he will stop at nothing to get it. Lately that's been candy. Lots and lots of candy. The kid is obsessed. We need to stage an intervention. He even watches candy commercials and demos on You Tube now. Seriously. I try to limit it, but it's summer. And his birthday. But anyways. Aside from his ~~love of~~ obsession with candy, he loves Hot Wheels, Monster Jam (still), sports (always), swimming, fishing with grandpa, riding bikes, dress up (though sadly not as often as he used to), sharks, crafting, and You Tube. Yep. You Tube. In just the last month or so he has learned to ride a bike without his training wheels and how to swim. And he is starting kindergarten in just a few weeks now, KINDERGARTEN. Somehow overnight someone replaced my baby with a big kid. I am in denial. And I think this transition is going to be harder on me than on him. As of right now he is super excited about starting kindergarten. I know there will be some anxiety as the day gets closer...ok, mostly for me, but maybe a little from him. But I know he is going to excel and thrive. Even though he is sometimes hesitant about new experiences and new routines, he is a super outgoing kid and makes friends so easily. We can go to the park and he will almost always find a random kid to play with. I would have never done that at his age. I was far too shy. I admire that about him. I know he will make lots of new friends in kindergarten. And I hope that he is also a friend to those who need one. I also hope that he continues to grow his love of learning, and that he doesn't shy away from challenges. I hope that when he experiences failures that he isn't afraid to keep trying. I hope that in addition to academics, he learns the importance of relationships. That he continues to use his imagination. That he takes time to play and be a kid. That he shows respect and consideration for others. Luca has been our pride and joy for the last 5 years. He was our hopes and dreams realized after struggling to start our family. He brings so much happiness to our lives that I can't imagine life without him. I am so thankful that God chose us to be his parents, and I hope and pray that we are raising him to be all God created him to be. We love you so much Luca Alberto!!!! Always keep your spark!

Summer Days

2016-05-26T19:14:00.002-07:00

Summer has finally arrived!!! I cannot explain the feeling of waking up on that first day of summer break when you are a teacher. It's like crossing the finish line of a marathon...or let's say what I imagine it would be like to cross the finish line after a marathon. Obviously I have never actually done that. And I am not sure I ever would. Anyways. I woke up this morning to snuggle my kiddos on the couch while we watched Finding Nemo. And it was perfect. We came up with a simple, flexible daily schedule just for the sake of consistency (and my sanity), but I love knowing that we have 10 weeks of just doing whatever we fancy. We can go to the library, the park, the pool, the splash pad, the mall...and I kind of like not knowing just what we are going to do each day. We do what we want. This summer is going to be a lot of fun, and we are going to make the most of it! Mila is old enough to really be able to enjoy our outings more, and her schedule is a little more flexible than it was last summer. Luca is old enough to be involved in camps and VBS, which I know he is looking forward to. And we have an exciting Florida trip planned in just a couple of weeks! I am SO ready to get to the beach with my family and just have FUN!
I cannot believe that at the end of all of our summer fun, Luca is starting kindergarten! I don't know why, but this milestone is hitting me HARD. Maybe it's the fact that I am a teacher, and former kindergarten teacher. Or maybe it's just that he's my first. I don't know. But I am so anxious about this big step. It just makes him seem so grown up. So big! I am trying not to be all emotional over it, but I know I will be when that day comes. And I am anxious knowing that he and I won't be in the same school. At least for now. I always imagined we would be, but that hasn't worked out just yet. I am trying! And I really really really hate that I can't take him on his first day and daddy gets to. One of the downfalls of being a teacher mom. Tonight he learned how to ride his bike without training wheels. His training wheel broke off and he just decided right then and there that he didn't need them. We had tried it once before but he was too scared. Tonight he just went for it. I let go of the seat and off he went. So symbolic. I hope that the start to his elementary career will go just as smoothly!

Balance

2016-05-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

Life lately feels like a constant search for balance. I have entered one of those seasons where it just feels like I am running an endless race. Clean the house. Make the meals. Love on the kids. Play with the kids. Teach the students. Plan the lessons. Discipline the children. Connect with the husband. Walk the dog. Shop for the groceries. Organize. Check the calendar. Clean some more. Sleep a little. Maybe a moment to unwind? To breath? I am craving some time for yoga and running lately. And I really don't have any good excuse other than I am constantly exhausted lately. And honestly finding time away from the kids is nearly impossible between Santi's work schedule and the fact that Mila is still a terrible sleeper. I just need some time for me. To recharge. To reconnect to myself and my Maker. And it's that end of the school year slump. I am not even a classroom teacher anymore, but May still gets me. I am checked out. Done. But more than anything lately I am craving a deeper connection with my Creator. Or any connection. And I know I am to blame. I let the exhaustion get me. I sit down to read a devotion or spend time in prayer and I am dozing off in seconds. When I am going through trials or struggles, or just stressful times, He feels so near. I draw close to Him with ease. And I need to be able to do that in the mundane times. The every day times. I am thankful that life right now is pretty simple. Things are good. I have a lot to be thankful for. I should be filled with joy in this season of life. I am living the life so many others would love to have. We have recently started attending a different church, and I am praying for a connection to this body of believers. For some authentic relationships. I know I have a lot of work to do, and my focus needs to shift. I need to find the healthy balance between giving of myself to others, my family, and to my career and giving to myself by allowing myself to recharge spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I need to focus on being in the moment. Practice mindfulness. Life is happening every second of every day, in the midst of the ordinary moments. And my kids are growing up before my eyes. I have to stop letting doubts get the best of me. I have to see each moment for what it is, even when I'm exhausted and out of energy. And take those quiet moments that seem so few to recharge so I can choose joy day in and day out.

Dear Luca

2016-03-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Luca,
I cannot believe we registered you for kindergarten a few weeks ago. It seems like only yesterday you were a diaper clad toddler. Tonight you sat in my lap and it felt like my baby had disappeared! All of a sudden there was a big kid sitting there. Those chubby toddler hands and feet have been replaced. You're getting so tall. And before I know it you will be 5. We will be putting you on the school bus and sending you on your way. And it just makes me want to stop time. It's just going to fast. I want to keep you little! But I know that would not be fair. You have big things to do, and God has an amazing plan for your life. As hard as it is watching you grow up so quickly, I look forward to seeing what your future holds. You are our sweet and sensitive little guy still. You are strong willed, and you don't back down, which I know will serve you well one day. It drives me crazy now. You are independent and outgoing. You love being with your friends at school and spending time with your cousins at grandpa and grandma's house. You are always open to trying new things, and you have the greatest imagination. You are always coming up with crazy ideas. You still love to dress up in different costumes. You are still a fan of sports, firemen, monster trucks, and superheroes. I don't ever want you to outgrow your imagination. I love watching your pretend play. You have also developed an interest in drawing and you are pretty creative! I am looking forward to spending this summer together doing all kinds of fun things. And I am especially excited about our big family vacation to Florida. I know you are going to love it, and I can't wait to relive all my favorite childhood memories from Florida. I love you kid. So so so so SO much.

Mommy

Dear Ms. Mila

2016-03-03T18:23:00.003-07:00

Dear Mila,
I haven't been as good about your blog letters as I was with Luca. I know I will probably say this often, but the second child gets the short end of the stick! Life is busy, and I am constantly having to stop and remind myself to take notice of each passing day. Each passing milestone. You are growing so quickly and I cannot believe how quickly the baby days have gone by. The last few weeks you have ventured into the world of walking. You are still very cautious and hesitant, but you will take steps here and there. I think you are also a little impatient, and you have realized that crawling will get you where you want to be much faster than toddling along. We bought you a couple pairs of cute shoes last weekend. Your first real shoes. I think we are beginning a love of shoes and shopping:) A girl can't have too many pairs of shoes. You already like to take my headbands and put them on, even though if I put a headband on you it never stays put. You only want to wear mommy's things. The other day you wrapped Luca's pajama pants around your neck like a scarf. And this morning you grabbed my makeup brush and pretended to put on makeup. I know one day we will have a lot of fun mother/daughter days of shopping, pedicures, and makeup! Besides walking, you have also started babbling a lot more. It will be interesting to see what real words you will say first since you get so much Spanish with Abuelita. I am looking forward to this next stage with you. Toddlerhood is such a fun time! We love you!

Mommy

Happy 1st Birthday Mila Paz!!!

2016-01-05T19:00:00.004-07:00

At this time one year ago, Santi and I packed Luca up and sent him to Abuelitos house, then headed to the hospital under a snow advisory...following behind a snow plow as the flakes were coming down. I had worked a full day, my first day back from winter break. I was still one week away from my due date, but I knew that she would come early just like her brother. I was hoping I wouldn't have to return from Christmas break at all, but one day back at school, going up and down all those stairs at Fairview, was just enough to get things going! Labor was much quicker than I anticipated (after laboring over 24 hours with Luca)...and Ms. Mila Paz Sotomayor arrived at 1:06am on 1/6/15. Less than 7 hours after the first contraction. She shared a birthday with one of the delivery nurses. Our little snowflake. We took her home the following day. On one of the coldest days of the year. She fit right into our little family from the very beginning. In many ways, she reminds me of Luca. She is a busy little girl, and doesn't like to stay still. And she can't be bothered with naps or sleeping. She doesn't want to miss a thing. And I guess at night she doesn't want to miss mommy and daddy because she loves to come snuggle in our bed every night. She knows what she wants, and she knows how to get it. Usually this involves high pitched screams or incessant pointing. As long as her demands are met, she is happy and easy going. She is sweet as can be. Loves to give kisses and dance. Waves bye bye. I think she says "baby" now, and "ve" (in Spanish). She also says mama and dada. She loves dogs, especially her big fur baby Tevez. She also loves her big brother, but she isn't afraid to let him know when he is in her way or when he has made her mad. She also has a serious side, and getting her to smile for pictures is next to impossible, as evidenced by her one year photo shoot. But I love how it captures her personality oh so perfectly. So thoughtful, observant, and a little skeptical. I still can't believe she is one. What a year it has been. It sounds so cliche, but I can't imagine life without her now. She was the missing piece to our family, and we are looking forward to watching her little personality continue to unfold!

Photos courtesy of Gift of Today Photography, Bloomington, Indiana

2016...Full of Grace

2016-01-04T19:14:00.001-07:00

And suddenly a new year is upon us. 2016. This year Mila will turn one. In a matter of fact, in just one more day we will no longer have a "baby". I don't know how that's even possible. She will always be our baby. To say last year went by fast is an understatement. This year Luca will turn 5. And start KINDERGARTEN in the fall. My baby boy...in KINDERGARTEN. I can't even. Santi and I will celebrate 9 years of marriage. When I look ahead to the new year before us, the fresh beginning that January always brings, I don't want to make resolutions. Sure I have goals, hopes, and plans. But this year I want to focus on one word. Grace. Grace for myself, for my family, friends, coworkers, students...strangers. We are all a work in progress. We are all fighting internal battles. Some we share openly and others we don't. We all have feelings of inadequacy. Feelings of self doubt. Fears. In the past I have had a tendency to be hard on myself. And honestly sometimes too hard on those around me. Sometimes I expect too much. The expectations I set for myself sometimes lead to those negative feelings of self doubt and inadequacies. They creep up on me and cause me to miss out on God's best for me. So this week, this first full week of the new year, it wasn't perfect. And that's ok. I didn't start the year with a long list of resolutions to abide by. I didn't set myself up for failure, but I am focusing on one day at a time, and doing the best I can each day for me and for my family. And if I fail, there is always tomorrow. This weekend we celebrated Mila's first birthday. I started back to work today with birthday decorations still up. My house still a mess. A few stray Christmas things still hanging around. I was battling a cold, and Luca missed his first day back at school. I was a little scattered at work, and completely unprepared to jump back into teaching my groups. Luca was wound up in the evening, and Santi got home late. I was tired and my patience were short. I wasn't perfect. I ate better today than I have in the last month. But I had a pop with dinner and I definitely ate more than I should have. I have yet to start exercising again. Our budget isn't perfect and we have some work to do in the coming months. But His mercies are new every morning. And we will get there. One day at a time. I am going to celebrate the little successes this year. And be kind to myself. More patient. More understanding. And I am going to take better care of myself. I am going to help Mila learn to sleep on her own so I can ultimately sleep. One night at a time. And tonight was my second successful night of not nursing her to sleep at bedtime. I am sure I will have setbacks with this just like anything else, but it's not all or nothing. We will get there. One step at a time. This is our year.

Dear Luca and Mila...

2015-11-18T18:23:00.001-07:00

I should be sleeping now, I don't get much of it these days between colds and teething. But I'm happy to get up time and time again, as hard as it may be. As much as it wears me down. I know I'm needed. And I'm thankful to have you both. My reason for everything I do. Sometimes the exhaustion gets the best of me. I'm worn out. I'm out of patience. Being a working mom is hard, and there are days like today that I wish I could just be there for you any time I needed to be. Like today when I wanted so badly to be able to attend the book fair with you Luca. And how it broke my heart when you asked why I wasn't at your Thanksgiving party. I would have loved nothing more. But it's in the moments where I feel most inadequate that you show me so much love. You make me feel special. You make me proud to be your mommy. So proud. And I love you both with all of my heart. I hope that you always remember the special times, and not the times mommy wasn't there. And I hope you know you are always on my mind.

Fall is in the Air

2015-10-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

My favorite season is here. I love fall. Even more after missing out on it for seven years. Nothing beats fall in southern Indiana. There is something so refreshing about the transition from long summer days to crisp fall weather. As we welcome all the goodness of the fall season, our family is growing into this new season in life. Life doesn't seem as overwhelming. We've got this family of four thing. Sure sleep is still hard to come by, and some days seem to go on forever with two kids that refuse to nap, and sometimes I am just down right exhausted. But we are happy. Life is good. Blessings are abundant. And we are moving forward in His grace. Learning together, growing. As parents, as spouses. This past weekend we had our family photos taken. As I browsed through the gorgeous shots taken by the talented Abra from Gift of Today Photography, I almost had to pinch myself. Is that really MY family? How did we get here? I thought back to how our family photos have changed over the last 9 years...from engagement photos to maternity photos. And here we are. Our beautiful family of four. Just for fun Santi and I took a picture together in front of The Bluebird. The exact spot our eyes first met after being set up by a coworker. My mind instantly went back to that night. I don't think we ever could have imagined that 11 years later we would be standing in that same spot. Married. Our two kids watching as we posed together for a photo. It's amazing to think back on our journey to get where we are today. Our family. The good. The bad. The ugly. We've been through it together. I can't wait to see what's next for us. Where life will take us.

It Won't Be Like This For Long

2015-08-18T19:03:00.000-07:00

I have been struggling with blogging lately. Things are busy, as always, but life seems a little more relaxed these days. We are getting into a groove with this family of 4 thing. My hands are full most days, but so is my heart. We are blessed. Really, really blessed. I guess I feel like I haven't had anything to share, which isn't exactly true, but I guess I feel like our day to day life hasn't been worth blogging about. And now I feel wrong to say that. It's the daily life that I want to remember one day when I read back through this blog. All the challenges, and of course sweet moments, of parenting littles. I want to remember the exhaustion, the frustrations, the milestones, the challenges, the proud moments, and the moments where I just feel like I couldn't possibly love our children anymore. The funny things Luca says and does. Mila's cute little personality starting to develop. And me. On this continual journey of finding myself...or creating myself. Through these different stages of life I change. My desires change. My hopes and dreams change. I am 32. I am a mom. I am a wife. I am a teacher. I am a child of God. And I am still me. And I am still figuring that out, which I am kind of excited about now. When you give your body up (literally) for 9 months of pregnancy, and then continue to do so for another year or more of nursing a baby...you kind of forget about you. While I am still in the thick of it, I can see me coming back a little. I love being a mom. I love nursing. I won't say I loved being pregnant but there was something to be said about the experience of carrying and then nursing my two beautiful children and I am extremely grateful that I was able to do so. I know many are not afforded that opportunity. I love my life right now. My days are hectic and exhausting but full of happiness. I wake up early, sometimes to Mila's cries (usually much earlier than I care to be awake) and sometimes to my alarm. And I will hit snooze. Again and again. I get myself ready for work, usually in the midst of getting vanilla milk for Luca, finding a cartoon, and keeping Mila entertained. I pump another bottle because I didn't pump enough at work the day before. I scramble around for kid clothes, lunches, shoes, and anything else I forgot to do the night before. I bribe Luca to get dressed for school, nurse and change Mila. I rush around frantically while always making sure I have enough time to make my iced coffee. This is crucial. Then it's off to school for me. When I arrive I greet my "big" kids. The ones that I call my kids even though they don't live with me. Only teachers will understand what it's like to feel like mom to strangers' kids. Sometimes I literally feel like I am mom to hundreds of children. Tying shoes, opening milks, offering hugs, drying tears, encouraging, listening, teaching...all day. Every day. Then my own children...the two that do live with me. And they all need me more than I could ever know. All day. All the time. And I love being there when they need me. All of them. I love teaching. In the good moments, the bad moments, the kids are driving me crazy is it a full moon?? moments, the hard moments, the real moments, the proud moments, and the heartbreaking moments. And I love being a mom for all the same reasons. After a full day of teaching. Running. I get to pick up my own kids. I try to enjoy some "me" time on my drive to get them. It's one last quiet moment before I jump into mom mode. They are excited to see me, and I feel at home when I see their smiling faces. All is right in my world. We go home and we are tired after full days. But we share our days and we try to share some moments of just being with each other. Then it's time to make dinner, eat dinner, clean up dinner. A little more time of books, snuggles, games, walks, time together. Then it's time for bed for the littles. Once little eyes are closed I am off to the race again. Prepping for the next day. Lunches, bags, bottles, clothes, school papers. I might get a moment of time to sit and relax...maybe I work out. I should work out. Then it's time for bed. I may or may not sleep depending on how many times Mila needs mommy through the night. It's still rough. This sleep deprivation thing. But this too shall pass. It won't be like this for long I tell myself. By His grace (and lots and lots of coffee) I do this day in and day out. And I love it. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Because I know one day it will all be different. It won't be so hectic. So exhausting. I will sleep again like a normal human. I will have quiet moments to myself. And then it will be too quiet. And I will miss this.

6 Months and 4 Years

2015-07-17T14:45:00.002-07:00

I can't believe Ms. Mila has been in our lives for 6 months already. She turned 6 months old the day after we celebrated Luca turning 4. Yeah, that's right, he is FOUR. I can't even consider him a toddler anymore. He is in the pre-K room at church now. Granted he has been in some form of preschool since he was one, it still seems crazy. This is his last year as a preschool kid. I am really enjoying this new stage of parenting a big boy...but it's not without new challenges, that's for sure! He is still crazy about sports. He is always busy. He is also still a fan of dressing up (fireman, superhero, policeman) and has a big imagination. He is so observant and takes in every detail. His dress up costumes have to be exact...down to the smoke mask on the fireman. And he has to chew gum and spit when he plays baseball. Hah. And he never stops talking. And Mila. Wow. These baby days are so fleeting with a second baby! As I type this she is just waking up from a nap in the Ergo. I love wearing her. I wish I would have given it more time with Luca. But then again the two of them have different personalities. Luca never liked being contained in any fashion, and he still doesn't. Mila is perfectly content snuggled up on my chest while I get on with the day cleaning, cooking, and entertaining Luca. And I love always having her right there, talking to her as I go about my chores. We listen to music and she is just calm and happy. So sweet this girl of ours. This is the time of our lives. I love our little family!

No Filter

2015-05-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

Life can get tricky. Especially when you pile a bunch of major life changes on top of each other. The dust has settled and we are now tasked with figuring out what's next for our family. We are now a family of 4. We have adjusted to our big move for the most part. We are settled into our new jobs. We are comfortable in our new house and it's starting to feel like home. We are working through a new routine with a baby in the mix and Luca being involved in different activities. We are also trying to wade through the perils of parenting an almost 4 year old. We are trying to evolve our parenting style to fit his needs as he begins to test the waters and gain more independence. Parenting a preschooler is much harder than parenting a toddler or baby! It's so hard to figure out how to discipline effectively while at the same time protecting his heart and teaching him the important lessons he needs to learn in order to be successful in life. I want to make sure that he is able to handle any situation that may arise with confidence when we are not around to guide him. Sportsmanship, friendships, determination, grace, hard work, perseverance, commitment, understanding, and respect. It is HARD!
Life is hard. Being a parent is hard. Being a spouse is hard. Getting older is hard. I know in my mind "this too shall pass" and sooner rather than later my children will be grown up. And I'm not ready for that. At all. I want to savor every moment of their childhood. I want to fill out days with special memories. But that doesn't mean that it's easy. And sometimes it's just downright exhausting. And sometimes I just want a moment to myself. I want to sleep more than a few hours at a time. I want to be able to talk to my husband without being interrupted 7,467 times. Sometimes you just have to be real about life.

Dear Luca

2015-05-13T18:15:00.003-07:00

Hi Mr. Luca,
Am I really planning your 4th birthday party? Where has the time gone? You are definitely not a baby anymore, but you will always be MY baby. You are finishing up your spring soccer team, which was kind of a bust. You weren't as into soccer this spring, so I am wondering what you might be interested in next. Transformer Rescuebots have been a hit lately, and you love ordering them when you earn your ten stars on your good behavior chart. I am really excited about spending the summer with you and Mila. Last summer was a little crazy and I didn't get to enjoy it with you like I would have liked. This summer I will be showing you all of my favorite things about Indiana in the summer. Fishing, slip and slide, splash pad, parks, picnics, fireworks, camp outs, fireflies, creeks...the list goes on and on! I have been feeling guilty since your sister came along, and I know it's been hard for you to share the attention. I do miss our one on one times, and I have some special times planned for us this summer...just you and me! I can't wait to celebrate your 4th birthday as well! I love you buddy!

Love,
Mommy

Dear Mila

2015-05-13T18:04:00.001-07:00

Dear Ms. Mila,
You are 4 months old already...SLOW DOWN! I am terrified to blink or I will miss your baby days. Seriously. Stop growing so fast. They weren't kidding when they told me this all goes a lot faster with the second child. Sometimes I feel guilty because you are the second child and I can't give you what I gave Luca. Undivided attention, limitless snuggles, time to just sit and soak up your gummy baby smiles. Other times I think being the second child will be to your advantage. It will make you a more independent and resilient little girl. I am so thankful that you are so easy going. You are perfectly content anywhere. You love laying on your play mat, swinging in the swing, or riding along in the Ergo while I get things done or chase after your brother. You are always laughing or smiling, and lately you have started squealing and "screaming". I guess you just want to make sure you are heard over your brother! I am really looking forward to this summer as you begin to sit up and enjoy a better view of the world around you, and maybe start scooting by the end of summer! I love you so much Mila Paz, you are a beautiful baby.

Love,
Mommy

Spring is in the air!

2015-04-12T17:47:00.000-07:00

FINALLY spring has arrived here in southern Indiana, and I am once again in love with our Hoosier home! After more than 2 months of being trapped in the house (with a newborn and three year old) I was starting to wonder what we were thinking moving back. I had to see constant posts from my dear Arizona friends of their beautiful sunny winter days and I couldn't help but feel jealous. And sad. I do miss it terribly at times, but spring has reminded me of what I always missed about Indiana when we were living in the desert. Everything is blooming and it's beautiful! The grass is so green, flowers are blooming, the trees are full of buds. We have also had several thunderstorms which I love. There is nothing better than the sound of thunder rolling and rain on the roof. And the smell of rain. And open windows with birds chirping. And fresh cut grass. We are loving our yard, and we are in the process of fixing our deck and planting some more flowers. My dad also built us an incredible table for the back. I am so excited for our first real cookout. I am also really enjoying our neighborhood. It is perfect for walking and bike riding, and we can literally see the Clear Creek Trail from our front porch. And the sunset. It's beautiful. I can't wait to plop myself in a chair on the front porch this summer with a glass of wine and watch the sun set. I also can't wait to find some time to lace up my running shoes and head over to the trail with my favorite running buddy. It's been a long time coming. I am so ready to get back into shape. I NEED to run! I am also looking forward to spending many sunny days outside with my two sweet children this summer. We have a lot of exploring to do in our new home! Last summer I worked summer camp and was frantically searching for a job, all while pregnant, so I feel like we missed out on the best of summer. Not this year. We are going to make it a summer to remember!

The New Normal

2015-03-03T20:57:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow I head back to work after 8 short weeks at home with my two little people. That's half the amount of time I had off with Luca. While I have been dreading having to go back so soon, I am thankful for the time I was able to be home, and that I am entrusting my babies to Abuelita rather than having to send them off to daycare all day. Even though Luca had some wonderful daycare providers in Arizona that were like family to us, I know that having family that is willing and able to care for our children is priceless. And Luca and Mila will create many special memories with their grandparents before they head to school. This makes the move worth it, as hard as it has been. Sometimes I am amazed that we survived the last year. I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that this time last year we had JUST put our house in Arizona on the market. We had no idea how things were going to work out, and we also had no idea that we would be adding a new member to our family in the midst of it all. But somehow we did it. Was it easy? Absolutely not. But it grew our faith and strengthened our family. And we are still adjusting to all of the changes. We still miss Arizona. We are still getting used to having our families around, which is wonderful and sometimes challenging all the same. We spent our entire married life thousands of miles away from both of our parents. It forced us to really rely on each other, and we had the opportunity to figure out married life and parenthood on our own. While we love being able to see both of our families on a regular basis, and Luca loves having his cousins around, it can be challenging to suddenly have so many opinions and input on the way you raise your children and the way you run your household. I am still very much learning how to accept advice and criticisms and not taking it personally. I am also learning how to juggle life with two kids. The true test starts tomorrow when I put on my working mom hat again. I am ready to establish our new routine, and to work on finding a new balance for our family with two kids and two working parents. I am trying to be intentional every day, and keep my eyes focused on what is most important. And that is my relationship with God and the love and grace I show to my family and others each and every day. I am trying to keep the stress and busyness of life at bay so that I can enjoy the fullness of our blessings. I will admit that the last 8 weeks haven't been easy. There were many days that I felt as though I failed miserably at this mom of two gig. Many days that the sleep deprivation took over and I lacked grace or neglected love. Being trapped indoors due to winter weather and cold and flu season made some days seem impossibly long. I know there were many times I could have been more intentional. More loving. But His mercies are new every morning. Tomorrow starts a new normal for our family, and I intend to live intentionally focused on Him and on my family.

Dear Luca

2015-03-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Luca,
Tomorrow I will head back to work after being home with you and your baby sister for the last 8 weeks. I know you have enjoyed being home with us, and we have had a lot of fun together. I will really miss being with you all day, but I know summer is just around the corner and we are going to make it count! I know how much you have been missing the warm weather and being able to get outside and play. Almost daily you ask if it's warm enough to wear "cut shirts" yet. It's been an adjustment for you not only having a new baby sister that dictates a lot of our days, but also winter weather that keeps us indoors much more than we would like. Trust me, I am itching to get out too! Every day I look at you and I just can't believe how old you look now. I also can't believe you will be 4 this summer. We just registered you for your 4 year old class at preschool, and you were really excited to see that they had Power Rangers. Now you ask at preschool drop off every day if you get to go to your new class yet. You are all about super heroes and transformers lately. We just watched Big Hero 6 at least 5 times last weekend. You seem to have taken a break from sports, but I know that you will be thrilled to start soccer this spring. You also started swimming lessons last week, and you said it was your "super sport". You have been an amazing big brother to Mila, and I know it hasn't always been easy to share the attention. I am so impressed with how well you have adjusted to having a little sister. And it melts my heart to see how much you love her. You said she is the cutest baby in the world. You are always giving her kisses and bringing her toys. You also love showing her your monster trucks. And you always want to snuggle with her...sometimes a little too much. I know you are going to love it when she is bigger and able to play more. I am so proud of the little person you are becoming, and I am blessed to be your mom. I love you Luca Alberto!!!

Love,
Mommy