When I started on this new journey to deal with my emotional eating and redefine my relationship with food, I wasn’t prepared for the changes that would occur for me.  Working with an emotional eating coach opened my eyes to many areas I didn’t know how to deal with.  During those coaching sessions, I was able to work on some of my reasons behind the eating like my fear of hunger  and the meaning of goal weight.  But, there was still a part of the journey I wasn’t willing or ready to truly deal with.  And that was my deep desire for weight loss. 

As time went on and I worked on the other areas, I couldn’t completely let go of the idea of weight loss.  It began clouding my work and created so much noise in my head.  This hit especially hard around January when everyone seemed to be making their New Year’s resolution to lose weight and all the latest and greatest diet plans were in full effect!  I felt conflicted.  Maybe I should be losing weight, too and trying out some of these diets?  There was even a time or two when I would wake up and decide that “today was diet day!”, but by the end of the day, I would have steered off track and given up.  Deep down, I just knew dieting is not for me any longer and I had to stay focused on making a permanent change in my life from within;  not just a quick fix.

Around the same time as I became sure that dieting cannot be a part of my life anymore, I realized that blogging wasn’t quite fitting in either.  All the book reading I’m doing in trying to change my relationship with food points to not obsessing over food and unfortunately, I think that food/weight loss blogs contributed to my obsessing nature.  When I started my work with the emotional eating coach, she warned me that this may be an issue and that I may eventually need to leave my blog behind.  I didn’t want to believe her and thought that I could work the two together, but I’m beginning to see exactly what she meant.  I’ve been so torn on this issue and not sure what to do.  It felt sad to say good-bye, but I had to  figure out why it was sad.  Was it because I’m leaving that obsession behind and moving toward change? Or that I’ll miss it and not have something to replace the hobby?   It was a tough decision, but taking a break from blogging these past few weeks has solidified that it is time to move on.

Since I have committed to this journey, I am so excited about the changes I have made in myself.  Through the Mirror Challenge , I have learned to love my body.  Through the Enjoy Your Food Challenge, I have learned to take the time to treat food and myself with respect while teaching my family good habits also.  By reading many, many books and putting them into practice, I have learned to change my thoughts about food and find other ways to deal with emotions rather than through the comfort and protection of food.

  And I have learned that it IS possible to lose weight without dieting.  Never in  my 44 years would I have believed it!  I really couldn’t even imagine that it would be possible.  However, the scale has become my friend, showing me on a weekly basis, that listening to my inner voice, practicing positive self-talk and respecting the need for self-care, encourages a healthy, lasting weight loss.  It is slow, but steady.  And for the first time in my life, I believe wholeheartedly that I can lose weight, get to my desired goal and keep it off.  For the first time in my life, I have more than hope… I know it can happen!

If I can at all inspire any of you to take this journey, please, please do!!  It is a confusing and scary path to take at first, but it is well worth the effort.  My mind has never been more free and happy!

If any of you are interested, here are just a few of the books that have been helping me continue on this journey…

• The Rules of Normal Eating by Karen R. Koenig
• Life is Hard, Food is Easy by Linda Spangle
• The Diet Survivor’s Handbook by Judith Matz & Ellen Frankel
• AFTER (the before and after) by Karen CL Anderson
• Full-Filled:  The Six Week Weight Loss Plan for Changing Your Relationship With Food and Your Life From The Inside Out by Renee Stephens
• Self-Talk for Weight Loss by Shad Helmstetter & Bob Schwartz
• The Beck Diet Solution by Judith S. Beck

Finally, I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who have stuck with me over these 3+ years of blogging and supported me through all my trials and tribulations!  I have loved being a part of this community!!!  Please know that even though I won’t be posting, the blog will still be here ( I have hosting until 2013!) if you want to check back for recipes, etc. and I will always be available via email if you have any questions or just want to check in (as many of you have this past few weeks – thank you!).

One more thing…

XOXOXO
~ Marisa

The Enjoy Your Food Challenge was fun!  This week-long challenge brought great opportunity for me to focus on what I was eating and learn to savor my meals.  I  didn’t realize what a foreign concept this would be to me.  It brought to light how often I eat on “auto-pilot”.  Yeah, like EVERY meal.  Shovel, shovel, shovel…then, it’s gone!  But, setting the timer forced me to pay attention – noticing the colors, smells and feel of food.  It was quite an experience!  I found myself being so much more satisfied at the end of a meal rather than searching for more.  I will admit, toward the end of the week and especially days when I was busy, that 20 minute time frame seemed like an eternity.  There were a few times I caught myself thinking, “Just hurry up and eat this so you can ____(insert some kind of task).”  I just wanted it to be over.  Mindlessness at its finest working there!

Another benefit to the challenge was the ability to connect as a family at dinner time.  Normally, when the husband isn’t traveling for work, we always sit down to dinner as a family.  Everyone rattles off what their day was like as we eat and jokes around.  However, as soon as the plates are clean (usually less than 10 minutes!)… we all jump up and run our different directions! 

With this challenge in play, I would set the timer when all were seated and even if the eating was finished before the 20 minutes, I encouraged everyone to stay and linger at the table until the timer would signal the meal had ended.  There was resistance at first!  But by the end of the week, we realized it was a great way to keep the conversation going.  Sometimes, we even played a “question game” ( i.e. “Do you like your name/ would you change it?”  or “If you could design your room any way you wanted, what would it look like?”) which made for some fun conversation!

All in all, besides the food awareness piece of it, it was a beneficial challenge for the entire family.  Since the challenge ended, I haven’t kept the timer going, but I have tried to stay mindful during my eating. <—- failing miserably.   Consistency, or lack thereof, is becoming the common thread in my life right now.  And there is no other reason than I am my own worst enemy. 

But, TODAY, I have set my intentions for the day, both verbally and written.  Nothing earth shattering or life changing.  Just a couple small, concrete, do-able intentions that I can follow through with and that are good for me.

Yes, TODAY… I will be mindful of me.

Have a great day, everyone!

What will you do today to be mindful?

Black Bean Chili Dip
(adapted from Cabot’s recipe)

1 (15-ounce) can black beans, rinsed, drained and partially mashed
1/2 cup drained canned whole kernel corn
1/3 cup chopped red bell pepper
3 tbsp. sour cream
1/3 cup salsa
1/4 cup water
2 teaspoons chili powder
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
5 ounces 50% Reduced Fat Cabot Cheddar Cheese, grated
2 tablespoons drained canned green chilies

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. In a medium bowl, combine ingredients and pour into a small casserole dish coated with cooking spray.
3. Cover and bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes or until cheese is melted and filling is bubbly. Uncover and cook an additional 5 minutes.

Makes about 2 cups.

Since there are veggies in the dip, you can feel good about serving it with lots of chips!

Mmmmmmm….

Enjoy and have a great weekend, everyone!

What is your favorite dip to serve at parties?

Stacey P. { 01.20.12 at 9:52 am }

I love the turkey on wheat with no cheese with lettuce, tomato, bell peppers, banana peppers, cucumbers, jalapenos and mustard. I’m weird I know. lol

 

Karin { 01.23.12 at 12:13 pm }

I like the Black Forest ham with lots of veggies.

Stacey and Karin, please email me your addresses and I will pass them along to the SUBWAY crew!

Thanks to all who entered!!

Have a great day, everyone!

Makes you feel like this the next day …

Ouch…ouch…ouch….

Have a great day, everyone!

**Be back later with the winners of the SUBWAY gift card giveaway!**

What is the toughest workout you’ve done recently?

Big daughter and I stopped by SUBWAY today to try out the Turkey Melt, loaded up with baby spinach (so excited to see this add-on!), lettuce, tomato, onion, banana peppers and a drizzle of honey mustard.  Mine had a bit of an “accident” coming out of the wrapper and doesn’t look quite as pretty as the one above.  Oops…

Still yummy just the same!

Since many of you are fans of SUBWAY,  they have offered to give TWO Loser for Life  readers a $10 gift card!

To enter:

• Leave a comment below in answer to this question – What is your favorite sandwich?

For an additional entry:

• “Like” Loser for Life on Facebook. Come back and leave a second comment letting me know you did so. (Edited to add:  It’s okay if you already “like” LFL on FB, just leave a second comment saying so. )

There you have it! Two ways to enter!The winner will be randomly drawn and announced on Wednesday, January 25th. (Giveaway open to US residents only. Sorry!) Good luck!!!

(Disclosure:  SUBWAY provided me with a gift card.  All opinions of SUBWAY and their food are my own.)

Have a great day, everyone!

I was excited about breakfast, too!  I brought back my old pal, Chobani for a mini yogurt bowl…

I usually steer away from the flavored variety due to the added sugar, but I had a taste for the strawberry banana flavor this morning.  One way to keep the added sugar to a minimum is to scoop out the top half of the yogurt (which is usually plain) and leave the fruit flavor on the bottom.  It’s hard to keep it completely separate, but it definitely reduces the amount.  Then, I added my own fresh kiwi to the mix.

It was mighty hard to make this last a good 20 minutes, however I did get to around 13 minutes.  Nothing but good…

I did a home workout (mix of cardio and The 100 Workout), then cleaned up for my lunch date with my friend, Rosemary and her toddler.

We decided to try a quaint little neighborhood restaurant, Fresh Thymes…

We both loved that the focus is on local, organic and seasonal food …

I started off with fresh brewed iced organic green tea infused with real lemongrass …

And decided on the day’s special which was Kale, Cheddar and Tomato Crustless Quiche …

Served with a small side salad …

Healthy and delicious! 

My “date” liked his, too  …

Lunch was easy to linger over.  Between chatting with Rosemary and playing trucks with my “date”,  the meal itself lasted a good 25 minutes.  I may have even left a few bites on the plate.  <—what???

The afternoon went by quickly and my stomach let me know it was time to get dinner prep on.  I had White Turkey Enchiladas on the menu, except subbing out the turkey for the original chicken.  This is fast becoming a family favorite!  Such a great use for leftover chicken or turkey!

Served with a dose of mixed veggies …

And I was the last woman sitting standing at the table again.  I was done in 16 minutes, but made myself sit for the remainder of the time to let everything settle.

For me, it’s not necessarily the 20 minute time challenge that is important.  It’s really just a tool to become more aware.  I’m not so much a stickler for the time;  it’s mainly a gauge to help me slow down overall and not eat on auto-pilot!  So far… it’s working

How about my challengers?  Are you still taking it slow?  Let us know how it’s going for you!

Have a great day, everyone!

What veggie always tastes better when someone else makes it?  I have made kale quite a few times with less than exciting results, but when someone else makes it, I love it!

So, the morning started off with a quick jaunt on the treadmill.  I wasn’t up for running -my leg was a bit wonky- but, walking seemed to be okay.  I walked at a steady pace for 30 minutes, then did a few upper body moves.  The walking was a nice change!  I like running, but I forgot that I like walking, too!

After the treadmill, I headed to the kitchen for meal one of the challenge.  Breakfast is not usually a meal I savor.  I definitely just wolf it down.  Not today!  I whipped up scrambled eggs with 2 slices of center bacon and marveled at its beauty…

Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration.   But, I did SIT, take a few moments to LOOK, and definitely tried to SAVOR each bite.  Total breakfast time was 13 minutes and 55 seconds.  A true record of endurance for me!  LOL!

Lunch was the closest I came to hitting the challenge time.  Again, most likely due to the chew factor.  Lots to chomp on in this big Chef’s Salad…

In the mix…

• two big handfuls of mixed greens
• shredded carrots
• slices of ham, turkey breast (about 2 oz. total) and cheese (1 0z.); rolled and sliced
• 1 hardboiled egg, quartered
• olive oil & red wine vinegar

I loved all the salty, savory bites of this salad.  And chomped away for a full 19 minutes.  I really took my time to enjoy the flavors. This is probably the first time I have ever eaten a salad and not looked for something else to nosh on afterward.  It was filling in volume, sight and taste.

Dinner was hardest of all.  I was fairly hungry when dinnertime rolled around which was tortellini along with a side salad…

I plated and served the husband and daughters their dishes, then plated my own, set the timer and sat down.  Can you believe by the time I sat down, they were half way done?!  It had only been 4 minutes!  That will just give you an idea of how quickly we eat.  It was an interesting experiment for all of us to have the timer on.  I found myself constantly looking to see how many minutes had gone by.  I was REALLY trying to make this pasta and salad last!  I made sure to place my fork back down after each bite which helped.  I ended up making it to 16 minutes.  I have to say, my plate of pasta has never gotten that much love and attention.

Regardless of not hitting the time requirement for each meal, I’m calling Day One of EYF Challenge a success!  I stayed mindful and engaged with each meal.  And overall, I felt satisfied! *Ding, ding, ding*  Let’s see if I can get this trend to continue!

Any challengers that decided to join me, let me know how you made out with Day One!

Have a great day, everyone!

Are you a fast or slow eater?

I’ve been reading another book (yes, I have complete book ADHD right now as I have three different books going and jumping from one to another.  GAH!) and came across a chapter on enjoying your food.  The chapter focused on the experience of eating and how to become satisfied by engaging all the senses when eating your meals.  It seems when you are “firing on all cylinders”, enjoying the smell, taste, texture and touch of your food, you are truly present.  Another exercise in mindful eating and to me, an utterly foreign one!

I can say that I enjoy my food.  I can remember eating meals and saying, “oh WOW, this tastes soooooo good!”in the first few moments.  Usually said in between giant mouthfuls of  shoveling this acclaimed food and/or multi-tasking (i.e.  doing laundry, washing dishes, talking, watching TV, etc.).  I realize I sound like a total Neanderthal when I eat, but I promise I do have manners and no, I do not talk with my mouth full <—- big, pet peeve!   Anywhoo, you get the picture.  That is how I would classify enjoyment.

It’s kind of ironic when you think of it.  If something  is really good, you want it to last longer, right?   You want to savor it, take it all in and experience every moment of it.  It creates a lasting impression, a full-on experience. 

I am realizing more every day,  how mindless I can get when it comes to eating.  When I’m cooking or preparing a meal, I may think to myself that it looks good or I may feel excitement in anticipation of how good a food is going to taste.  However, when it’s game time, I’m at an all-out sprint to the end zone.  I don’t often take the time to truly taste a meal.  I may be present for that first bite or two, but after that, I go on auto pilot.  And for as important as I have made food in my life, you would think I’d give it a little more respect than a “shovel and chew” session!

I know this is a contributing factor to not understanding my satiety level.  We’ve all heard that it takes 20 minutes for your brain to receive the signal your stomach is full.  I am long gone from the table in 20 minutes.  In fact, dinner often takes longer to prepare than it takes for anyone in my house to eat it!  Myself, included!

This is an area that I’d really like to work on.  Mainly because I’m very much struggling with the difference between satiety and fullness.  I still feel the need to eat to fullness.  Not stuffed, unbutton-the-pants full, but definitely more than satisfied and definitely overeating.

So, I thought I’d challenge myself to a week of “enjoying my food”. For the next week, I’m going to take the time to taste, smell and basically SEE my food!

My goals are to…

1. SIT DOWN.  I do generally sit while eating, however, I often begin my meal before I even hit the seat!  Either I’m taking bites before I sit or eating a little, then getting up to do something else.  This week, the meal is to begin when I sit and can be actively present.
2. LOOK.  You know how when you go to a restaurant, the waiter brings the food to the table and you stop what you are doing or saying.  You sit for a few seconds and take in the view of your plate, often marveling at how pretty the presentation is or how delicious the food looks.  You may even take a minute to smell the aroma or dissect the different components of the dish.  Well, that NEVER happens with my meals of which I eat 98%  of at home!  It’s “shovel and chew”.  I barely even see what I’m eating sometimes.  Even though I spend a few minutes plating it for pics on the blog, I usually wolf it down right after that, unknowingly.  For the next week, I will take a minute to really SEE my food.  As they say, you eat with your eyes first!
3. GIVE ME 20.  Since it is said to take 20 minutes to signal satiety, I’m setting the timer for each meal.  This will be my biggest challenge.  I know that not every meal will take 20 minutes.  Sometimes, it’s just not possible to sit that long when you’re busy.  I can’t see breakfast taking that amount of time, either.  It may not be a realistic goal for that meal, but for lunch or dinner, it is definitely do-able!
4. SAVOR.  Sometimes, I can’t even describe what a meal tastes like because I don’t remember.   Especially when I’m overeating and the auto-pilot kicks in.  In fact, I believe this is why the overeating occurs.  This week, along with looking at my food, I want to take the time to taste it.  I want to recognize flavors and textures.  I want the experience of eating, not just the mindless “eating to eat”. 

What I’m hoping to gain from this challenge is a better understanding of how being mindful of my food can influence my satiety and also give me an opportunity to slow down.  The challenge will begin on Sunday.  I’ll check in on Monday to let you know how Day1 went!  Anyone want to join me?  If so, feel free to post in the comments or send me an email.  I’d love to hear about your experiences if you decide to come along for the “enJOY” ride  

Have a great day, everyone!

And before I knew it, I finished up a little over 2 miles!

The GYMBOSS was happy to be back in action!  I ended my workout with 10 minutes of weights – biceps, triceps, front lateral raises and shoulder presses.  I’m trying to be consistent with strength training at least twice a week!

After the workout, I whipped out the blender for a Green Monster breakfast …

In the mix …

• 1 cup skim milk
• 1 scoop Pea Protein Powder 
• 1/2 banana, frozen
• 8 strawberries, frozen
• 2 BIG handfuls fresh baby spinach

I forget how much I like these!!

Then, it was off to my niece, Nikki’s apartment for a Girls’ Lunch.  She kindly invited the Aunts and Grandmoms, along with her Mom and sister for a delicious healthy, homemade lunch.

We started with Spinach and Artichoke Dip, pita chips and almonds while we toured her apartment…

For our lunch, Nikki made White Chicken Enchiladas adapted from this recipe …

Served with mixed bean salad…

Yummy cornbread …

And a fresh citrus salad made by my SIL (her mom)…

I devoured everything on my plate!  It was all so good…

The gang…

Our get- togethers never seem complete without some kind of dessert!  Nikki knew this, of course, and made these beautious chocolate mousse cups …

And my SIL made an Apple Pecan Cake, too …

Decisions, decisions!  I actually felt very satisfied with my meal, so I just indulged in a small taste of cake …

Delicious and just enough to satisfy my curious taste buds.

Thanks to the hostess for a great lunch!

I’ll be back tomorrow for leftovers.

After such a lovely lunch, I wasn’t into making much fuss for dinner.  Pasta and salad is the best fuss-free option…

The husband and daughters wish EVERY night was fuss-free!   No such luck… it’s my job to torture them with “fancy” food. 

Have a great day, everyone!

What is your favorite fuss-free meal?