Losing it

2010 Resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 1 Jan 2010 16:43:00 -0600

Twenty ten or two thousand ten? I still haven't decided.

I often make new year's resolutions, and usually don't keep them. I still appreciate the exercise though, and this year as they will be written down in a place easy to find, I hope I will do better about keeping them!

1. Continue to lose weight. This goal is really a result of the following two goals:

2. Eat less, and eat healthier when I do. This includes reducing my portion sizes, less snacking, and eating more fruits and vegetables.

3. Be more active. I want to keep going to the gym every day, or close to it. Increase my intensity levels when appropriate, add weights, enjoy my time taking care of me!

4. Purchase less bath stuff, get my finances more in control. While I am very financially responsible, I do need to be saving more.

5. Be more social. This is a hard one. But I am going to try!

So, there's my list. I think it's very doable, and I just need to take everything one step at a time.

The Holidays are Over!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 1 Jan 2010 16:34:00 -0600

Whew, what a crazy holiday season. I just felt so busy and stressed out the entire time. I'm glad that it is finished!

I had a great time at home, but I managed to get sick, and I am still getting over it. Bleh! I hate being sick so much.

If my weigh-in from this week is to be believed, I managed to lose a little weight over the holidays! I am going to take it for what it is worth, and be happy about it.

The new year always brings new challenges, and this one will be no different. My best friend is leaving town, and I'm really sad about it. :( I know things will be okay and will work out, but I am afraid I will be lonely, and thus more likely to stay home and pity eat.

Time to think of and post the new year's resolutions!

10 pounds!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 5 Dec 2009 09:57:00 -0600

I did it! Weighed in this morning (with a little help from the bathroom, hah), and I was down more than 10 pounds, finally!

The last two weeks have been quite a struggle, so this was a pretty big deal for me. I'm just really proud of myself, and thinking that I now have to start stashing my reward money away in an account. I am thinking $100 for every 10 pounds.

Then when I am at my goal, I will either go on an awesome vacation, or purchase a gorgeous right hand ring.

~Cheers!

Ugh!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 4 Dec 2009 22:39:00 -0600

Ate too much today. Ate out twice!

Also, foot is hurting. I hope I will be okay at the gym tomorrow, maybe less on the treadmill for a while, more on the bike and elliptical.

I think tomorrow I will also do some weights.

Weight was down today, but will be up tomorrow, of that I am sure! Haha.

Survived turkey day

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 3 Dec 2009 18:33:00 -0600

I made it though Thanksgiving without gaining weight! I was so happy! Considering the food is not as healthy, and the fact that I wasn't getting much exercise, it was a big victory for me.

Today I feel the need to be petty. Cruel and petty for no reason. I slightly resisted it, but did snipe slightly. I know it's not her fault, but God, she doesn't know me, so don't talk or respond to me after you started dating the guy I was interested in! UGH.

Yesterday was a bad day with cheese and sausage and crackers at work, weight went up a little bit, but I will bring it back down, I know it!

Interesting day

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:24:00 -0600

I played WoW again today. I was actually sick to my stomach logging in game and being online. I know it was from thinking of seeing the person who cut me to the quick so easily and effortlessly. Thankfully I didn't have to deal with that.

Now I don't think I can ever really go back though.

Tomorrow should be an interesting weigh-in. I did not do as well this weekend as I wanted, at least when it comes to eating. I did have a pretty good workout this morning though, I think due to my being upset about WoW.

Thanksgiving week (can't believe I'm going home that long!) will be hard. I know that I will come back having gained some weight, because I won't be at the gym, and there will be lots of tempting food around me. I am going to do my best though! It's all I can ever do. :)

The weekend commeth

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:39:00 -0600

Time of eating doom! I am going to do my best again, as this week I've pretty much been stagnant in weight. Back to where I was before last weekend (lol) but I'm still getting healthier.

I know the cardio is good for me! It was nice enough today to go for a walk outside. Man, going up that hill on the way back home is killer.

I have some cleaning to do tonight, so that should distract me a little bit. Doing the women's expo thing tomorrow; need to make sure I get to the gym beforehand.

A not so productive week :(

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:16:00 -0600

Well, this week didn't turn out as well as planned. I think my weigh in one morning was off, and due to not being able to work out and going out to eat with a friend, my weight is actually the same as it was on Sunday.

I'm close to 340 though, and my goal is to get there this weekend.

I know that I can do it, I also know that it will just take time. Hopefully being home over the holiday week will also not sabotage my healthy living too much.

Need to think about how to work out well there.

Close! And a day of snacking (grr!)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:42:00 -0600

This morning when I weighed in, I was closer than I thought to 10 pounds lost! It is my first mini goal, and I'm so excited to reach it.

However, I snacked like mad today, Trader Joe's wasabi peas are evil! I suppose they are not that bad for me, but I also had mini three musketeers and too much chocolate at home.

I made a healthified version of my chicken enchiladas - they turned out good, but next time I won't go with the low sodium soup, just the low fat.

My workout at the gym was good; I pumped up the speed 0.1 mph on the treadmill. My foot was slightly sore by the time I got to the elliptical, but tomorrow I will be resting as I have Meals on Wheels and am headed to Jeremy's afterward.

Early bedtime for me today!

Weekend update

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:37:00 -0600

Well, the weekend went better than I thought! I was about to lose slightly on Friday, maintained on Saturday, and I got to the gym today.

I had a great time with my friend, though her life is so strange I have a hard time understanding it sometimes. Just so different from anything that I know.

I interacted a little (texting) with one of the catalysts for my lifestyle change. Still stings and hurts a little. Maybe this next weekend I'll have time to blog about it.

This week I start Meals on Wheels, so every other Tuesday will start to be a late night for working out. I'm not too worried about it though, because I know that I will still be going.

I'm getting close to 10 pounds lost - small milestones are the way to go. :) I'm hoping at Christmas some of my weight loss will be noticeable to my family.

Once I hit the 10 pounds, I may start transferring money into a new account to build up savings for either a trip or something more substantial, like a ring.

I count the weekend as a success!

The weekend!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:01:00 -0600

Ugh! Weekends! Not a good time for me lifestyle wise. I can't get to the gym before it closes on Friday, so generally this has been my day off. However I have company this weekend, and don't think that I'll be able to get to the gym either tomorrow or Sunday. Well, Sunday is a possibility, but I'm still not sure.

I am really going to try and do well with my eating though, because I don't want to regain too much weight over the weekend.

I'm proud to say today at work that one of my friends asked if I'd lost any weight. She may have just been trying to flatter or encourage me though. I think the real test will be when I am home for the holidays.

Still meaning to blog about the main reasons for this, I promise myself I'll get to them soon.

Glee returns!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 20:18:00 -0600

Hooray! Love this show so just a quick blog post during commercial.

Gym went well today; I am making progress slowly but surely. I suppose that is the only way to go now, and I will make my goal eventually. Losing an entire person is going to take time, that's for sure!

Talked to a friend from WoW last night, I do miss it, but I know I made the right decision for me. There was just too much pain and hurt each time I logged into game.

Drinking some peppermint honeybush blend tea - yum! Tea is for sure one of my treats. Will be getting more this weekend hopefully. I think soon I will set a reward for myself for a mini-goal. I can't decide if it will be time based or pound based.

Glee returns! *poof*

Progress so far

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:09:00 -0600

Well, I've lost about 5 pounds so far! I'm very happy about it. :)

The gym was super busy today; I had to switch up the order that I do my machines in! It was an okay work-out, but not my best. That's why there's tomorrow though.

I'm not really in the mood to post much, or to delve into the deeper issues behind my quitting WoW and my new weight loss push. I know they are still there though, under the surface and just waiting to be examined further.

I also want to go through some of the stuff from Bob's book; I think I saved some questions and answers that would probably be beneficial to examine again.

Cheers!

Evil Turkey!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 9 Nov 2009 22:10:00 -0600

I knew I would gain a little from the delicious pre-Thanksgiving meal I made over the weekend with friends.

I gave away the majority of the dessert, and also the stuffing. I will allow myself to enjoy the turkey and stuffing I have left, along with the spinach broccoli casserole.

Working on week two of the gym; I think it will continue to go well! I am motivated, and want to stay strong. I would like to see how well I can do on my own for at least a month; if things aren't moving the way I am hoping, I will look into some supplements or meal replacements.

I'm so proud of myself, I'll admit it. I am really working to change my life.

It wasn't as hard as I thought...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 7 Nov 2009 14:42:00 -0600

And now it's done. I cancelled my WoW account, and said my goodbyes. Of course the account is paid for several months still (*facepalm*), but I'm doing my best to make a fairly clean break.

I'm sure I will play a little bit, including the holiday stuff, because I'm a sucker for that. But I know I can't get sucked back into playing the way I used to play, especially if I am serious about changing my life.

Speaking of the changes I'm trying to implement, this morning marked the first full week of going to the gym completed. I made it six out of seven days, and I have to admit that I am quite proud of myself!! I know for sure that Friday will be a day off, because the Wellness Center isn't open past 4pm. I don't think I'll be ready to go to the main gym for a while, hehe.

Possibly more later, for now, off to cook and clean. :)

Warcraft

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 4 Nov 2009 19:07:00 -0600

I'm sure I'll write more about this subject later, as I feel it has been instrumental in both my weight gain, and all the other things I've been dealing with the past few months. More on those later too.

I'm just posting to say that I finally cancelled my account. Of course, it's paid through April, but my plan is to basically stop playing after tonight. I even have the post written for my guild forum.

It's a sad feeling, I'll admit, and also a nervous one. I'm actually somewhat sick to my stomach. I know it's the right thing to do though. I might still play casually, though on another server. I hope that no one is upset with me for finally doing something for myself. I also hope no one makes fun of my goodbye post, because it is really written from the heart.

One of my favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance, and this routine last night really spoke to me, considering the feelings I was and am still having about quitting.

Apologies for the link, I don't know how to link a video from youtube, but I promise, not a rick roll http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31Hqa9YJAmQ

Starting over (and over again?)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 3 Nov 2009 20:25:00 -0600

Wow, over a year since I've updated this blog. And with good reason, since I haven't been doing good with my weight loss at all.

No one wants to post about their failures.

I think it's time I start though, because maybe it will help this time being the last time I start over.

I've gained weight in the past year, mostly from being inactive and eating poorly. I know, what a shock! That causes weight gain. Not really sure why I can't apply all the truths that I know.

The picture in this post is me a few months ago. When my sister posted it to Facebook, I didn't really think it was me. Amazing what hiding from mirrors and pictures can actually do to your sense of self-awareness.

I'm hoping to stay more on track with posting updates to this blog, if only for myself.

In the next few days I'll post more about what caused the latest wave of starting over, maybe it will be therapeutic.

ack :(

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 21:42:00 -0600

the weight is all back, and more. it's so upsetting. but my own fault. i haven't been to the gym in at least two months. i really need to get back working on my weight loss. it's hard to know where to start again - i don't want to try and do too many things at once, because i think that's part of what hurt me last time.

i am going to start with eating healthier, although the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies i made did not help. i am working on eating better for work and dinner, cooking healthier and eating out less.

now to just get back to working out.

Fall is my favorite season

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 6 Oct 2007 11:02:00 -0500

And with it comes being busy! The last month has been pretty crazy with work and friends and family, and it seems like it won't be letting up until after the holidays.

It's so hard to eat and be healthy this time of year. I want all my favorite comfort foods, and all the family favorites, along with work potlucks and parties. It seems like it never stops.

I haven't weighed myself in a week because I know the number will be going up. Haven't been eating right, or exercising like I should. Although the romp around the corn maze last night was some good exercise, and fun too! Too bad one of the people we went with was such a wench...lol.

I'm supposed to go to a party today that I really just don't feel like going to. I'm wondering if I can think up a good enough excuse, or maybe I'll just stop by for 10-15 minutes and say I have somewhere else to go.

I gave myself a french manicure today, it didn't turn out half bad, but I do need some practice! I really need to start cleaning my apartment, it's seriously nasty. I think if I kept the place cleaner, it would be easier for me to eat healthy and exercise because I wouldn't feel like a slob.

Thanks again for the encouraging words. :)

Peace,
Rachel

Finally getting better!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 19:42:00 -0500

Wow, so I was sick for like an entire week! No fun, no fun at all, although I did loose a few pounds! I guess that's what barely eating will do, of course that's not healthy. But when you're sick, about all you can handle is tea and egg drop soup.

I'm feeling good enough I might treat myself to a Lush bath tonight, maybe something cocktailed with the butterball I have. I need to resist the temptation I have to go to taco bell.

And thanks for the comments/emails, I appreciate them and the encouragement!

weighing myself in the morning...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 22:41:00 -0500

makes me weigh less lol! maybe i'll use that number to feel like i'm down a few pounds. still sick, took the day off work i felt so bad. but got some chinese food which was soothing. played way too much wow, but eh, i was sick and it was worth it.

okay, off to bed.

Being sick sucks

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 21:45:00 -0500

So being sick and having a cold sucks. But at least I got to leave work early. Bad eating though. Made some healthy soup, which means I can eat good food for the next few days. Bed soon, hope I can sleep better than last night.

"I just need to start caring about myself"

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 19:40:00 -0500

So here I am, watching 'The Biggest Loser' and the quote above just caught me. It's what I need to be doing. I'm fat. I'M FAT. Not chubby, not chunky, but fat. 317 pounds of it. I remember crying when I went over 200 pounds, swearing I would get below and never go over it again. Now here I am.

My goal is simple. And incredibly difficult. Lose the weight, get to a healthy body shape. Over the last nine months, I lost 13 pounds. I paid almost $3,000 to lost 20, and gained seven of them back already. I know why, I quit exercising, and I quit eating healthy. I don't want to slide back and gain even more weight.

I know I can do it, but I know it will be hard. Today wasn't the best food day. But tomorrow will be better. It has to be. For me and my body and my mind.

Here goes, posting this out on the big bad world wide web. Even if no one reads it, I know it's there.