Bob's Manuscript

Being a hypocrite today and loving it!

Bob Brown — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 19:56:55 +0000

Ya know... I think I've been taking life too seriously... even when I'm happy and inspired (like I am now)... I still take my job search so seriously that at times I forget to laugh... or just smile...

I ran across this site that has funny affirmations.... now I'm addicted...

TODAY'S FUNNY AFFIRMATION
I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone
else’s fault.

for manuscript: Why not? We all do it...blame others with a smile on our faces... whatever happened to being kind, rather than being right? it's like the hypocrisy of positivity... I think we're all kind of hypocrites in a lot of ways... we make exceptions when it's convenient for us...

I'm kind of loving being a hypocrite today... because it's making me smile... sometimes that's all we need to make it through the day...

one more day, Bob

just one smile at a time...

remember website for funny affirmations
http://chainletters.net/
chainletters/
funny-daily-affirmations/

Trust the flow and process of life

Bob Brown — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 17:20:13 +0000

group went to Garden of the Gods in Manitou Springs, and I finally feel renewed again... inspired... drinking the healing waters that flow from the fountains downtown helped too, I'm sure... it's fizzy, almost like tonic water, but sweeter.. would really make good lemonade!! but the cooler weather, mixed with the garden of the god's trip made me realize how much bigger the world is than any of us...we're all one... we all are equal contributors to this earth... universe, as far as I can tell... but our egos try to deny us the peaceful realization that we all are equally important... they try to make us think that we should be superior to others... when in fact, this world seems so collectively superior to US, when we stand up on a mountain and look out at the canyons... the look on Alice's face was priceless...

we just have to trust the flow and this process of life... I know that a great job awaits me... I know it...

great stuff for my manuscript later... B

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Colorado, here I come!

Bob Brown — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 00:02:59 +0000

So it's a bus... so it's a bunch of old people... they're going to this little hippy town in CO, called Manitou Springs, and I'm going with them! sweet Jesus, it'll be so good to get away... all expenses paid trip! thank you, God!

hear there's hot springs there that will wash the negativity away, too... wonder if they'll let me bathe in it... that's just what I need right now...

I'll be working, of course, but it won't really seem like it... just have to help look after everyone.... I normally wouldn't be so excited to get down with 70 year olds, but I've been in a rut... and I can't help think that if I can just get out of here for a while and not think too much, or write for a while, then my mind will free itself from the enslavement of writer's block, or whatever this is... and all will be well!

applied at a couple more places today, too... this place called Tuesday Morning. It's a low-end retail place, but I just don't care anymore... if they'll have me, I'm for the taking! Maybe when I come back I'll have some interviews lined up. that'd be awesome!

boy am I going to love this cooler weather... until next week, my loving manuscript... B

note:
tooth brush, tooth paste, hair spray, playing cards, green tea, pepto
polish shoes tonight
wash underwear, socks with Norma's clothes
prepaid phone card

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Dance like you're 75.

Bob Brown — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 20:51:59 +0000

you know, everyone always talks about dancing like nobody's watching. I say, dance like you're 75.... today, I was eating my cherry flavored jello, and scribbling in my manuscript, not really able to come up with much... when suddenly, Alice, this 75 year old widow, came and asked me to dance. there's no music, I thought... but then I said, "what the heck! sure!"

a staff member, Doris, started playing some music from her phone... apparently her grand daughter's dance recital music with a fun beat... something about a poker face... but it didn't matter if we knew it or not... I'm not sure she could even hear it...

and that's when the next topic hit me for my manuscript... the idea isn't to just dance like nobody's watching... it's just to dance... for no reason at all... anywhere... whenever you feel inspired... because you can.

for these folks, getting out of bed can be a challenge, so dancing... well, dancing is like being free again... being free of the aches and pains... being free of the worry, and fear...

thanks, Alice. I needed that tonight.

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Patience

Bob Brown — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 16:07:46 +0000

they served chinese food last night... and this is what my cookie said... "your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later."

at this moment, I feel that all I've got is the ability to control me. I can't control anything else around me... including how fast things happen.

fortunately, they haven't kicked me out, but they have been asking me how long I think I'll be there.... they love me, I think they really do, but I'm another mouth to feed, too...

oh, Bob, when will your day come?

does patience mean I stop searching? or does patience mean I don't pull out my hair in the meantime? I do have great hair, btw, God... thanks.

on this Sunday, my hope for myself is that I can focus on the "sooner" part of this cookie... and be patient... wait, is that what they call an oxymoron? I think I've got something here for my manuscript...

patience is rewarded to those who understand that it has its own cadence. the rest of us have to take Adderall and Ritalin.... no, no, kidding...

I believe some meditation is in order.

Perfection

Bob Brown — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 16:57:58 +0000

beginning to think that the more we try to be perfect and lead perfect lives... the further away from it we get.

not that I necessarily think I've been chasing perfection... but on some level I think we all kind of do... we all really want things to be perfect in our eyes... I guess the real tragedy is when we only want to be perfect in other's eyes...

I'm three weeks away from being homeless again... far from anyone's standard of perfect, I'm guessing...

I know I should view it as three weeks away from having a job, but it's not looking good... seems my only option is to entirely leave this town... there's just nothing here... but if I leave, I'm automatically homeless, and not going to be able to focus on my new material... what to do... what to do...

more pudding!

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The story inside you

Bob Brown — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 01:48:34 +0000

if the story goes untold, it will forever break your soul...

if the story sits inside, it will never have the chance to become alive...

don't live with the guilt of an untold story... it's much better said out loud...

i might be a little off track with this one... so simple, yet so hard to put in few words
like the great Maya

live and let live your story... it deserves to be told... ***
oooooh, I might be on to something with this one...

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
Maya Angelou quote

Somewhere out there...

Bob Brown — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 09:18:56 +0000

So, it's day 5 of me volunteering.... everything seems to be going GREAT, but turns out, their maintenance guy can do about everything I'm doing, so they won't pay... they said I could stay a while... a mo. maybe, since they like my attitude and willingness to help... which I'm grateful for, but it doesn't really advance my agenda... however, I can take time to write... so I suppose it does that way...

so that's what I think I'm going to do... yep... just until I find SOMETHING... SOMEWHERE OUT THERE... where are you, job? Where are you, paycheck?

write, write, write, write, write...

all this jello pudding is making Bob a crazy boy!

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Giving Back

Bob Brown — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 16:42:01 +0000

So I opened up a fortune cookie a few days ago, and this is what it said... and yes, I buy them in bulk at the dollar store owned by a couple of my Asian comrades (I'm a regular, what can I say?).

It hit me... instead of looking for a job, I'll volunteer somewhere! They can't say, "no" if they're not paying me... not really, anyhow. And maybe that'll turn into something permanent. So I did... I began hanging around this old folks home, taking out their trash, and helping them put away trays after lunch... just odds and ends... They said they'd talk to the manager to see if it might be a regular gig - but guess what? They've been letting me stay here in the meantime, and feeding me! Score! They even have bingo.

It really is true... whatever we give, we get back... like the law of attraction says. So this week, I have no clue what'll happen... but I'm giving back to others... being one of service... and hopefully, it pays off.

What's the point, God?

Bob Brown — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:55:18 +0000

Dear God,

I need your help today. I'm finding it hard to continue writing this manuscript, when it's not helping me find work or providing me with income right now. My heart tells me I must write, but my belly tells me to do whatever I need to do to survive... hell, I've had to bathe at a truck stop the last two nights in a row.... talk about feeling hopeless...

So, what's the point of this all, God? I need you to tell me I'll be alright.

And, I have a confession. I've been using lotto again.

So, here it is - I refuse to let myself buy lotto tickets from now on, if you can just help me this one more time. I don't even have the money to do it, if I wanted to. No one has called me back for a job, and my confidence is starting to go down. I'm just sitting here with all these clean clothes, a beat up pre-paid cell phone with 5 minutes on it, a quarter tank of gas, and nowhere to go. Nobody to even talk to - but you, God. And although I know I should try to remain optimistic, the truth is - this current reality pretty much sucks. So, I beg of you... please, God, please... if you can give me a job this week, I promise, I'll never gamble again... not even lotto.

Yours truly,
Bob

ps. opening a fortune cookie now... and it says,"You will soon be crossing great ocean waters for an incredibly rewarding experience."

I hope this is you, God!

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