Lots of Pulp

32 Teams, 1 Chandler Jones: Day 1

2012-04-19T11:41:00.000-04:00

Chandler Jones' name has appeared all over the draft charts, from the middle of the first round all the way to the end of the fourth round or lower. It seems @ChanJones99 could wind up anywhere, so Lots of Pulp will try to predict his future with all 32 NFL teams leading up to the draft.

Indianapolis Colts

Projected draft pick: 34
Projected position: DE
Projected playing time: Fourth DE in rotation behind Freeney, Mathis and Hughes. Grooming for Freeney's role (obviously). 20% snaps.
Projected Stats: 4.5 Sacks
Sack Celebration: Lucas Oil Rig Dance
Favorite teammate: Freeney (duh)
Rookie Hazing task: Wearing #18 for training camp to confuse Indy fans

Washington Redskins

Projected draft pick: 69
Projected position: OLB
Projected playing time: 15% snaps, backing up Orakpo and Kerrigan, special teams
Projected Stats: 3.5 sacks
Sack Celebration: Marching Band Leader
Favorite teammate: Tanard Jackson
Rookie Hazing task: Praising Mike Shannahan at every press conference

Minnesota Vikings

Projected draft pick: 35
Projected position: DE
Projected playing time: 40% snaps, primary backup behind Allen and Brian Robison, competing for starting job
Projected Stats: 6.5 sacks
Sack Celebration: Brett Favre Flash
Favorite teammate: Chris Kluwe
Rookie Hazing task: Scouring Hotwire for good Lake Minnesota boat expedition deals, wearing a Vikings yarmulke on draft day (see above)

Cleveland Browns

Projected draft pick: 37
Projected position: DE
Projected playing time: Starting DE opposite Jabaal Sheard
Projected Stats: 8.5 Sacks
Sack Celebration: Dog Pound Shuffle
Favorite teammate: Frostee Rucker

Rookie Hazing task: Cleaning up after the dog pound with 5,000 plastic bags

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Projected draft pick: 36
Projected position: DE
Projected playing time: Starting DE opposite Adrian Claiborn
Projected Stats: 7.5 sacks
Sack Celebration: Gap Toothed Smile
Favorite teammate: Anyone BUT Mike Williams
Rookie Hazing task: Mike Williams' Designated Driver

A Retrospective: Syracuse Football Uniforms

2012-04-13T13:39:00.001-04:00

By no means should the fashion of the Syracuse football program be compared to the likes of Oregon.

Still, Syracuse fans have seen a flux of changes, from one to logo to another, from Orangemen to Orange, and from one uniform design to the next.

With spring in the air, and the eagle-eye of the threads @NunesMagician bringing light to a potential white pants change, we've decided to take a look back at football jerseys of the past.

You surely have seen these uniforms on numerous sites, a few have made top 10 ugliest of all time articles, but here's an attempt at bringing them all under one post.

It seems as if Syracuse basketball fans have their favorite, or at least portions (many choose the script Syracuse).

But we're looking for judgement on which parts of the Syracuse football uniform we're proud of, and not so proud of. We'll be leaving a few comments beneath each photo.

Leave your comments and we'll let Doc Gross know.

THE SYRACUSE FOOTBALL UNIFORM COLLECTION:

The Champs Gear - 1950s

Have to rate this a 10. Can't say anything bad about the jersey worn during the era of our only National Championship. SU should do a throwback day to these.

Ground and Pound - 1960s

Not a ton of color on the top, but I do like the orange helmet and pants matching, especially with the number on the helmet.

Skip the 70s and.....

The Dome-ination: 1980s

Simple jerseys that let the Syracuse name speak for itself. I love these. At first, the number on the pants seems like a cool touch, but now all I can think of is some Aeropostale sweatpants.

Bowl Bound: 1990s

And a view of the white

I love the uniforms. I feel as if the deep V is a bit too deep, but otherwise the jersey is excellent. Not sure how I feel about the different trims on the pants and jersey.

The Shit Sandwich - 2000s
It started out OK with the Insight Bowl win.

Then it went south in a hurry. Syracuse kept the same McNabb uniforms till Mr. Robinson came in to drastically change the program.

Here are a few of uniforms of that era:

Don't like the shade of the Orange pants. Shoulder piping is awful and appears randomly placed. No trim to be seen anywhere on the uniform. Do like the homage to the past with the player numbers on the helmet. But by now, as athletes seemingly have become more self-absorbed, maybe a team logo is the way to go.

Rock Bottom:

A consensus worst uniform of all time.

Next, a little white was added all over, but I still wasn't a huge fan. Do like the change back to white numbers with an orange trim.

Oh hi Andrew Robinson!

Then in came Dougles and here is our current gear:

Better than the previous version, no doubt, but to me a bit plain up top.

Conclusion?

See if you can outfit the McNabb era jerseys with a slightly less deep V-neck and those short sleeves that seem to be hip these days.

Leave your thoughts below.

A letter to DaJuan

2012-04-12T12:12:00.000-04:00

You suck, Nerlens!

2012-04-11T16:00:00.001-04:00

The Nerlens Noel special is scheduled for 7:30 tonight on ESPNU, with the Announcement projected at around 8:45, according to Brent Axe. That's too late to get a legitimate reaction piece up, so we're going to react before the decision is actually made. Just to hedge our bets, we're posting a positive and a negative reaction, since these 18-year-old kids can be somewhat unpredictable. Click here to read the other side.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

$50K won't even last through one game of cards in the NBA

You've made a huge mistake, Nerlens. Clearly you would rather take a big bag of cash from a slimeball like Calipari than have a shot at winning a national title. You're not about family, or winning, or anything but money. You'll never win anything.

-Your High Top Fade is the dumbest thing we've ever seen. What is this 1993? Even DJ Jazzy Jeff thinks you need a haircut.

-Good for you ... you can block shots from 5-foot-8 white kids in Massachusetts. That's some stiff competition. We can't wait to watch you get dunked on during your first game on ESPN.

Think this kid compares to Big East talent?

-Likewise, anyone can score in transition in high school. Did you even have offensive sets? You might need to develop this thing called a post game, if you ever want to make it at this level.

-We never wanted you anyway. You're just a boy, while DeJuan Coleman is a man. He will eat you alive in the NCAA Tournament ... that is, if you even make it there with the mercenaries on that team.

Come at me, bro

-Your Twitter feed is so annoying. Pretending like you're going to make a "shocking" announcement and then doing exactly what everyone thought you'd do. Plus, we know it's your birthday, since you kept reminding us 10 minutes before just so we would all wish you a happy birthday. Let's start a new hashtag. #ThingsIdRatherDoThanWishNerlensHappyBirthday

Note: If Nerlens picks SU tonight, please disregard this post. And click here to read Welcome to Syracuse, Nerlens, instead.

Welcome to Syracuse, Nerlens!

2012-04-11T16:00:00.000-04:00

From one great Orangeman to the next

You've made a wise decision, Young Nerlens. Clearly you realized that Syracuse could offer you the best combination of competing for a national championship, improving your pro prospects and becoming part of a true family atmosphere.

-Your High Top Fade is the coolest thing we've ever seen. You will be a star here, and you'll see 30,000+ fans rocking the hairstyle by the end of the season.

The 2013 version of the Big Heads

-Your shot blocking skills will be revered for generations, and you've come to the right place to display them. Rick Jackson and Fab Melo were Big East Defensive Player of the Year, and there's no doubt you will soon continue their legacy of dominant big men that anchor the zone.

-Your ability to get out in transition is perfect for this team. We love to run, and you're going to throw down 14+ a night on alley oops alone from your boy MCW.

-You and DeJuan Coleman on the back line together. Twin Towers. I think I just heard Jack Cooley sh*t his pants.

Get by one ... blocked by the other ... every time

-Your Twitter feed is primed to take over the void left behind when Dion decided to leave. And we're the perfect match for that. It's your birthday? Let's get a hashtag going. #HAPPYBIRTHDAYNERLENSWELOVEYOU.

Note: If Nerlens picks Kentucky or Georgetown tonight, please disregard this post. And click here to read You Suck, Nerlens, instead.

High Top Hysteria - D-Day

2012-04-11T12:53:00.000-04:00

High Top Hysteria is running pretty high in Cuse Nation these days. As we are always a trusted news source, Lots of Pulp is here to help you make sense of all the mayhem and destruction leading up to April 11, and his ultimate decision.

Tick tick tick ...

High Top Hysteria Update - April 11, 2012 - D-DAY HATH ARRIVED

Click here to read all the High Top Hysteria Updates

Nerlens News
No.1 and No. 2 Players Exclusive School Announcements on ESPNU Signing Day Special (ESPN Media Zone)

We all knew Nerlens' announcement, alongside Shabazz Muhammad, would be aired on ESPNU. But what we didn't know, might set the stage for what's coming ... or not.

Throughout the show, ESPNU will speak with top NCAA coaches from around the country, including John Calipari of the recently-crowned National Champion Kentucky Wildcats.

ESPN has been in the know all along on this. That's why they made him put it off until the 11th, so they could televise it with Shabazz. They knew his decision weeks ago. So they're programming accordingly.

The first, and most reasonable theory, is they know at least one, if not both, of these guys are going to Kentucky. So they want to get Calipari's reaction. He's going to gloat on camera again, and we will all want to puke. Yay!

However, there is an alternate option. Bob Knight works for ESPN. He can be influential because if he yells at you, you immediately curl into a ball and cry. It's natural.

"Suck it, John"

Bob Knight also HATES John Calipari so much, he won't even say the program's name on television. Maybe Knight has coordinated a night of embarrassment for Calipari, where his two prized recruits spurn him like a jilted lover on the alter, and Knight comes out from behind the curtain and points and laughs at him on camera. This seems highly possible.

Nerlens Notes

Tell me about it Nerlens, I've been wearing the same boxers since you asked if Fab Melo was declaring for the draft a good week ago. Why you ask? Because I'll take any little sign and cling to it dearly in the hopes that you will take my Orange to the promised land. So don't lecture me about stress.

For serious, though, it is a tough decision. But wherever he decides to go, he'll likely be there only a year (or less if he declares and decides to Fab Melo the rest of his class schedule) and will still be a top-3 NBA draft pick. That is, unless he goes to Georgetown. Then he'll have to cut his hair, pivot the entire game on the high post, and wear pink shorts with boat shoes to fit in.

Nerlens Nonsense
The biggest question that people keep asking is, where will Nerlen's decide to go?

Duh.

But this is missing the much, much, bigger picture.

How the hell is he going to declare? We've seen with Dajuan Coleman that if you're going for dramatic and traditional, you go with the hats on the table.

Thing is, have you tried putting a hat on a 10 inch flat top? It's not easy.

So how does he decide?

Does he do as @NunesMagician says, and literally pull something out of his hair?

Does he do as @OrangeChuck suggests, and tear open his dress shirt to reveal the logo of the school he's chosen?

Or does he do as Lots of Pulp has suggested, and cover up the high top, only to reveal a fantastically dyed indicator?

So many questions. Thankfully everything will be answered tonight.

Nerlens Nostradamus

Before we make one final prediction, let's recap the rollercoaster ride of predictions from the past week. Our sources have been reliable throughout, and they show a conflicted young man, but the message is clear.

April 3 - Orange
April 4 - Orange
April 5 - Blue
April 6 - Orange
April 9 - Orange
April 10 - University of Phoenix

We heard today that the University of Phoenix was unable to offer a full scholarship to Noel, so despite his desire to earn his bachelor's in Criminal Justice Administration, Nerlens will have to look elsewhere.

Is there any other choice?

The votes are in, and the overwhelming favorite to land Nerlens Noel is your Syracuse Orange. The Wildcats gained some momentum on April 5, thanks to University Union's plans on ruining the Syracuse experience for every student. But thankfully, "Vanilla Cake" is a powerful force to deny. See you in the Fall, Nerlens. You can start your own Block Party then.

Roll Bounce 2: Camden Showdown

2012-04-11T11:02:00.000-04:00

In case you've made the tragic and heartbreaking decision to unfollow @dionwaiters3, you may have missed this:

Dion Waiters is hosting a roller-skating party later this month.

Go ahead, read that again.

If you live in the Southern New Jersey/Philadelphia area, you have absolutely no excuses. Here's where it is:

I'm working on getting some loyal Cusians to go get their skate on. You should too.

Send us pictures if you attend, although you might want to get out of there before 3 AM. I imagine much good doesn't happen at a Camden skating rink at that time.

One picture has already been leaked in a lead up to the event:

High Top Hysteria - April 10

2012-04-10T12:42:00.000-04:00

T-Minus 1 day until D-Day

High Top Hysteria Update - April 10, 2012!!!!!!!

Click here to read all the High Top Hysteria Updates

Nerlens News
Nerlens Notebook: Pre-Decision Thoughts (ESPN.com)
Nerlens Noel came back for a special birthday edition of his running notebook with ESPN.com. First he spends nearly half the thing talking about a game no one cares about (Seriously, the Nike Hoop Summit? Who cares). But he finally got on to the important things.

On Georgetown ...

Then you’ve got Georgetown, and I really just like everything about them. When I went down there with my mom, it really opened my eyes to what they were all about. I have to factor in what a school like that can do for me, even away from being a basketball player. It’s just a great school and they have a history of developing big men. Georgetown is definitely a great option for me.

I mean, he DID basically see their gametime atmosphere by visiting in April. No one is in the stands during the season, either.

On Kentucky ...

Of course they’re coming off the national championship, but I’d look more at how I’d be able to fit in and how I’d be used there. I’d factor in what my role would be offensively, likeAnthony Davis with a lot of lobs and catching it at the high post and things like that. Defensively I think it’ll take care of itself.

Legitimate points. We have no use for these.

On Syracuse ...

I look at Syracuse and I love the way that the coaches say that they’ll use me in their offense. I really like the family atmosphere there and I feel really comfortable there. Syracuse has been on me the longest of all three schools and that is big for me.

But is family really that important to you, Nerlens? Oh wait ... maybe it is ...

On the loss at the Nike Hoop Summit that no one cared about ...

The locker room was a little quiet at first, but we had good leaders that spoke up and made us all feel a little better. Like Mitch (McGary), he just talked about how we were a family and that we were all brothers and that we played our hearts out. It made a lot of us feel better.

BOOM!!!! ROASTED KENTUCKY AND GEORGETOWN!!! And what else do we know about Syracuse and family? Just check out last year's team poster.

Nerlens Notes

Michael Carter-Williams made some noise on Twitter today. Not only wishing his buddy happy birthday, but also "taking care of things."

Michael Carter-Willi@MJCWilliams

@NerlensNoel3 I handled that thing u needed me to handle bro! U feel me

I hope Michael knew that SU had a few extra scholarships to spare, and didn't go out and murder Trevor Cooney last night to make room.

Either way, this is a good sign. You need something taken care of, Nerlens, we got a guy for that. Not some booster, who's going to rat you out the first chance he gets so he can put his mug up on ESPN. No, YOUR TEAMMATES will literally kill a drifter for you if that's necessary (hopefully not literally). They will "handle" whatever it is you need to "handle."

That's family right there. And remember, you never go against the family.

Nerlens Nonsense
#ShockingNerlensAnnouncement (Twitter)
Late last night, Nerlens tweeted out that he was "Gon shock the world !!." Predictably, that sent everyone into a frenzy on Twitter. At one point #ShockingNerlensAnnouncement was the 4th most trending topic on Twitter - IN THE WORLD.

Here are some highlights ...

Reggie Burnett@reggieburnett

That was me on the grassy knoll#shockingnerlensannouncement

Sean Keeley@NunesMagician

"Ron Paul has asked me to be his Vice-President and I have accepted." #ShockingNerlensAnnouncement

Chris Delapaz@CDPaz

#ShockingNerlensAnnouncement I volunteer as tribute.

Dave Pappert@dap260

I just hired Fab Melo as my tutor....#ShockingNerlensAnnouncement

Eric Calvert@ecalvert2001

I have decided to get my degree online at the University of Phoenix. #ShockingNerlensAnnouncement

Nerlens Nostradamus

High Top Online Fade

The writing is on the wall ... er ... high top fade, people. Nerlens is going to truly shock the world tomorrow. You heard it here first.

A Obtwittuary - Dion Waiters

2012-04-10T10:45:00.001-04:00

Ah, @dionwaiters3, we barely knew you.

With our beloved Dion taking his talents to the NBA after two years donning the orange, we've penned a final piece reflecting upon his first tumultuous, then matured and impressive career.

For his orange obituary, or obtwittuary, we've used only Dion's most tweeted words from his tweet cloud. Enjoy. We'll miss you Dion.

Dion,

Bro. Wassup?
Wife love Dion.
Dude respect, appreciate Dion.
SMH, town love Dion.
Never humble,
Always hungry.

Fan Favorite,

True Beast.

Watching lil Philly play hard,

Always running, giving, unstoppable.

Top sixth man,

Dion Waiters showed true swag.

Keep rocking, don't stop.

Make school proud.

NBA draft pick, yessir.

Salute, homie. Respect.

Love,

CuseNation

Check out our new Pinterest page

2012-04-10T10:22:00.000-04:00

Lots of Pulp has a Pinterest page. Check us out at http://pinterest.com/cusepulp/

What's Pinterest? Well, you better find out before you're the only kid at school without one (that's how this works, right?).

Basically, we're going to use it to share all our photos, videos, GIFs and other multimedia. We'll also share some things from other people as well. We're a multimedia empire, bitches!

High Top Hysteria - April 9

2012-04-09T12:36:00.000-04:00

T-Minus 2 days until D-Day

High Top Hysteria Update - April 9, 2012!!!!!!!

Click here to read all the High Top Hysteria Updates

Nerlens News
Players Predict Where Muhammad, Noel Will Go (ESPN.com)
ESPN asked other recruits where Noel would be heading when he makes his decision this week. Unfortunately not one of them picked Syracuse, and nearly all of them picked Kentucky.

Said Duke Commit Matt Jones:

"Kentucky. I played with him last weekend at a tournament and you should’ve seen him watching Louisville play against Kentucky. It was like he could envision himself there."

Ruh roh.

Nerlens Notes
Take 3 days off from Twitter and the world is suddenly spinning on it's head. Or pole. Moving on...

So Nerlens went out to Oregon for the Nike Hoop Summit game this weekend. He had an unexpected visitor on his timeline.

You don't see any Kentucky players interested in Nerlens, because every one of them is off to greener pastures. But Dajuan, he cares. #CuseFam

But a family is not a true family without some festivities and "cake" to eat. Before all you YahooSports! enthusiasts start yelling about recreational drugs, think about it for a minute.

A little vanilla cake with a nice side of Manishewitz. A combination that can't be beat.

Nerlens Nonsense
Four Reasons Why Nerlens Noel Would Be Better Off At Syracuse Than Kentucky (Bleacher Report)
The guys at Bleacher Report put together a nice, well-thought-out list of rational reasons Nerlens might pick Syracuse over Kentucky. Where's the fun in that though? Let's give you four not-so-rational reasons why he might pick SU ...

1. Jewish girls are better (read: more "attainable") than Ashley Judd. And if you're not a fan of Jewish girls, Rakeem Christmas has you covered.
2. Calipari might make Nerlens cut his hair because it challenges his hairdoo supremacy. Boeheim has no hair, so he isn't threatened by the HTF.
3. He clearly hates Georgetown. Why else would he string them along, only to crush their dreams in the end?
4. In the long run, that $80,000 Calipari offers him is chump change compared to the NBA dollars he'll be getting next year, so what does it matter?

Nerlens Nostradamus

"Vanilla Cake"

High Top Hysteria - April 6

2012-04-06T11:16:00.000-04:00

T-Minus 5 days until D-Day

High Top Hysteria Update - April 6, 2012!!!!!!!

Click here to read all the High Top Hysteria Updates

Nerlens News
Melo to Enter NBA Draft (suathletics.com)
Nerlens tweeted about this the other day, and now it's official. Fab Melo will enter the NBA draft, blowing open an opportunity for Nerlens Noel to step in anchor the 2-3 zone right away. Of course this is not really news to anyone, since Melo was most likely never coming back to the team after being ineligible for the NCAA Tournament.

The official statement hit the SU Athletics web site at about 4 p.m. How did Nerlens react? Let's discuss ...

Nerlens Notes
And there it is ... not four hours after Melo's decision became official, Nerlens is tweeting about opportunities. Thanks, now we'll all twist it into whatever we see fit.

Let's discuss the reaction to the Tweet by the many highly qualified analysts in the Twitterverse:

@BigBLueSwami - Idiotic tweet. I don't think Anthony Davis was on Noel's twitter. He was busy prepping for Jimmy Kimmel, getting manicured and ready for TV...

@DickieStarbucks - bad twitter handle and worse picture. Thanks for hopping in from Boston, Dickie.

@AlexWayman - cool bro. If there's one person Noel wants to be, it's Greg Monroe: a soft big man, stuck on the Detroit Pistons and getting dunked on by Carmelo.

@KoolKidSims - right to the point. Excellent tweet. Solid use of the ellipses to sound less threatening while still getting your message across.

@BillyRoyal207 - Word.

So if Nerlens was paying attention, it's apparent that UK fans think Anthony Davis tweets for Noel, elitist pink polo wearers think he is the next Detroit savior, and Syracuse fans simply want him to come make a name for himself. Tip of the hat to you, @KoolKidSims

Nerlens Nonsense
Hate Kentucky's Title? Beware, Nerlens Noel would be the same for Syracuse (Orange Fizz)
The article isn't really nonsense, but the similar discussions on Twitter and comment threads are. It takes NBA talent to win National Championships. The Orange won its first with Carmelo Anthony, who only stayed one year. Think he, Boeheim, or anyone in Syracuse regret that setup?

Seriously, if you want to watch four-year players, become a season ticket holder for SU Field Hockey. For me, I'd rather watch Nerlens Noel pretend to be a student for six months and take Syracuse to the promised land. If he makes $20 million a year in the NBA, I think he'll be OK, even without that fancy CRS degree.

Nerlens Nostradamus

Vague Twitter messages never lie

Orange it is. Your opportunity is here, Nerlens. Are you ready? We'll see you in the fall.

From UConn to Kentucky: A Scholar's Road

2012-04-05T15:53:00.000-04:00

With Anthony Davis clearly heading to the NBA draft, Kentucky is scrambling to fill the void of shot swatting, ugly mugging, paint domination for next year. And while you may have heard that Calipari is targeting this Noel fella, they may already have their answer in Alex Oriakhi.

Wait, Alex Oriaki? He of 8 points, 5 rebounds and 1 block a game? Surely you jest.
We'll conveniently believe that they are going after Oriakhi or Noel. Not both. Good. Moving on...

Via Jeff Goodman on Twitter (@GoodmanCBS):

Yes, that's right folks.

This is about the academics. Akin to transferring from Harvard to UPenn, Oriakhi has decided to make the switch from the hallowed classrooms in Storrs to the intellectual's utopia - the SEC.
Understandable. Yet, which area of study will be available at the University of Payche...um Kentucky, that isn't already available at the University of Farmi...Connecticut?

Using our wide-reaching network of correspondents and connections (aka - the Internet) we got our hands on the UConn course catalog. Here are some highlights (note: these are ACTUAL classes, no joke):

- Nutrition and Feeding of Livestock (of course)
- Behavior and Training of Domestic Animals (because "sit" and "stay" are demanding orders)
- Computers in Modern Society (you know, these modern day laptops sure are portable)
- Evolving Law of Arrest, Search and Seizure (always good to see the flip-side)
- Floral Art (for serious?)
- Athletic Field Management

With this expansive of a class list, what could Oriakhi plan on studying at Kentucky?

- Sociology 101: The community of Kentucky: One's horse is more important than one's woman

- Economics 203: Issues in money laundering and other forms of embezzlement

- Business 301: Bouncing back from bankruptcy or other federal violations

It's an interesting decision for young Alex to make. With the offer to leave Storrs and its drunken coach for a chance to play for an equally angry but better paying coach, you can fully expect to see Oriakhi make the switch. Now the most important question is what his new major will be.

Leave your best guesses in the comments.

High Top Hysteria - April 5

2012-04-05T13:49:00.000-04:00

T-Minus 6 days until D-Day

High Top Hysteria Update - April 5, 2012!!!!!!!

Click here to read all the High Top Hysteria Updates

RELATED POST - UConn to UK, A Scholar's Road

Nerlens News
Calipari to meet with Oriakhi (NBCConnecticut.com)
Wait, I thought Noel was their #1 priority ever since he re-classified to this year's class? Are they hedging their bets? Feeling the heat from Cuse?

Or maybe they just don't want Nerlens as much as we think ... just saying.

Nerlens Notes

Oh, snap. It's Nerlens's Birthday the day before he declares? April 10?

You know what that means. Nerlens has invited coaches from Syracuse, Kentucky, and one nerd from Georgetown whose mother insisted he must be allowed to attend, to his birthday party. Whoever is the best party guest will be able to have the all inclusive independent play date with Nerlens. Jesus that sounds dirty. They will be BFFs.

So how are they going to impress Nerlens? Gifts of course.

From Georgetown, you can probably expect a used copy of a Virginia Woolf novel.

From Syracuse, a collection of commemorative t-shirts, and several specially made for Nerlens ("High aTop the Rankings," "Noel+Christmas = Joy to the World," "The Nightmare Next to Christmas," "Noel, Noel, born is the king of Syracuse.")

Kentucky already submitted its birthday present to Nerlens in New Orleans. No, not a national championship ... a hillbilly wife. Returned to sender, bitches. Better come up with something NN actually wants, and fast. Our guess is it will include a large check and the keys to a new car ...
So it all depends on what Noel wants: a neverending supply of cotton t-shirts or a neverending supply of cars and cash. Tough call.

Nerlens Nonsense
#ThingsIdRatherDoThanGoToBlockParty (Syracuse.com)
Way to go, UU. Not only did you piss off an entire student body and community, you may have cost SU its chance at Nerlens Noel and a potential national championship. Nice work, guys.

I mean, come on. The concert is named BLOCK party. You don't think Nerlens is paying attention to this? You think he wants to see Kaskade? Who the hell is Kaskade? I honestly have no idea.

Nerlens Nostradamus

Kaskade turned the High Top blue

Gotta turn the High Top blue today. Not because of Calipari staying, or the upcoming birthday gifts. But it looks like UU has doomed us all to watching Noel follow in Anthony Davis' footsteps. The Orange blood will be on your hands, guys.

PHOTOSHOP CONTEST!!!

2012-04-04T13:11:00.000-04:00

Popeye Southerland has a challenge for you ...

He wants to know if you can do a better job of designing the special U.S.S. Midway Otto costume than he did.

Here's your template. Do work, son! Post your photoshop entries on our Facebook page here.

High Top Hysteria - April 4

2012-04-04T12:33:00.000-04:00

T-Minus 7 days until D-Day

High Top Hysteria Update - April 4, 2012!!!!!!!

Click here to read all the High Top Hysteria Updates

Nerlens News
Nerlens' Notebook - Decision Day Set
Ho-ly-sh*t-snacks. Screw the notes and the nonsense today. Nerlens is writing a blog for ESPN leading up to April 11, and just posted an update today. We're breaking this baby down piece by piece.

I just got back from New Orleans playing in the All-American Championships and had a ball. The game was fun, of course, just playing with all my boys, but we had even more fun hanging out in the city.

He's talking about DeJuan Coleman and Jerami Grant right? Has to be. Ooooohhhh this is good. They played on the back line together at the game, and they probably went HAM in New Orleans together. Good signs. Definitely leaning 'Cuse.

I literally got stopped hundreds of times and took dozens and dozens of pictures. The fans were showing me so much love out there, and I definitely have to say that most of the fans were from Kentucky.

(EXPLETIVE) (EXPLETIVE) (EXPLETIVE) He's so going to Kentucky. There's no way around it. This f#cking blows. I HATE EVERYONE!!!

Now of course that had a lot to do with the fact that they were playing there, but I’m always just shocked at how dedicated Kentucky fans are. One man asked me if I wanted to take his wife home with me, ha ha. I couldn’t believe it. I was like “Nah, I’m good,” but that’s just how insane the fans were down there. Great atmosphere.

Alright, that's good. Of course Nerlens doesn't want your hillbilly wife. That's a negative point for UK, for sure.

OK, so by now I assume most of you guys know that I cut my list to Kentucky, Georgetown and Syracuse a few weeks back. I just thought it was time to get it down to the schools that I was really looking at the hardest.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Georgetown??? HAHAHAHA. Seriously, let's talk about the real contenders here ...

Kentucky had the big win Monday night and I had a good time watching that game. I was really liking how Anthony Davis continued to be effective even without scoring the ball. I know how it feels to not be able to get it going on the offensive end at times and that makes you just want to go even harder defensively. I loved that he got Most Outstanding Player, too. Just seeing him have all the success that he’s had this year definitely makes me think a lot about what I could be doing there. That’s really appealing to me.

(Crying)

I wouldn’t say that all of that stuff gives Kentucky an advantage though. It’s just something I think about a lot.

For real? So you're saying there's a chance? WOOOOOOO!!!!

With Syracuse, they’ve been on me the longest of the three schools on my list. That factors in heavy with me. That’s big for me.

That's right, you Johnny Come Latelys. He's ours! Back off! Nerlens knows who really loves him. He's coming to Syracuse for sure.

I’ve decided to announce my decision a week from today on ESPN so I’ve got a lot of thinking to do between now and then. And I’ve heard the rumors about me making a decision already. That’s not true. Rumors are rumors, what can you do, but just know that I'm far from a decision no matter what you hear.

YOU KNOW IT! He's saying the rumors about Kentucky are FALSE. Which means he HATES KENTUCKY. And he's coming to CUUUUSEE BABY!

I would love to play with (Shabazz) in college though

Oh, SON. OF. A. BITCH. They're definitely picking Kentucky together. How could they not?

Don't forget to follow Nerlens Noel on Twitter: @NerlensNoel3

What's that? Pimping the Twitter handle? You know who loves you on Twitter, Nerlens? Right? That has to be a sign! It is a sign! If Cuse fans follow him more on Twitter and tweet him more love, he'll pick SU! It's a coded message to us all. His decision will be based on Twitter love. OH THANK GOD. WE OWN THAT! RALLY THE TROOPS!

Nerlens Nostradamus

An up and down day, but Orange wins out

Twitter love = commitment. He basically said that word for word. Let's do this. #Noel2Cuse

Best and Worst Moments from the Best and Worst Season - No. 1

2012-04-04T11:51:00.000-04:00

Editor's note: The wounds are still fresh, but we're recapping one of the most memorable seasons in SU Basketball history. It was the best of times ... it was the worst of times. So in that spirit, we'll count down the Top 5 Best and Worst moments in the most up-and-down season any of us can ever remember.

More from the Best and Worst Moments Series
Best and Worst Moment #5
Best and Worst Moment #4
Best and Worst Moment #3
Best and Worst Moment #2

Worst Moment #1

November 17, 2011 - Bernie Fine accused of sexual abuse

SU left an empty seat next to Boeheim when Fine was on leave.
As details came out, Fine was fired, his seat filled on the bench

In the wake of the Penn State story, the talk between a few of our Syracuse friends was "what if this happened at Syracuse?" "How would we react?" We didn't ever think that our school would be the next story in the fallout of PSU. And yet, what seemed like only a few days later, the story broke.

It's no use going into all the details of the story. It was a horrible story, one that affected too many people and touched on the disturbing topic of child abuse. There were graphic details and reports, the firing of Bernie Fine, and calls for Boeheim to be next.Yet it was also an intriguing story of false accusations, strong reactions and heartfelt apologies. The biggest questions were of course about the actions of Fine and the horrible effects it may have had on his alleged victims, as well as the culture of supporting child abuse victims.

Yet there was also another question, albeit less important, that many Syracuse Basketball fans would ask. How will the team respond? Will they fall apart? At first they left a seat open for Fine. As he was fired and more law departments became involved in the investigation, that seat was filled. As rumors swirled and their head coach shouldered a ton of blame/pressure, the team somehow became more focused with the things they could control.

On the court is what they knew to do best: play the 2-3, run, dunk and attack. And the team did just that, at a frenetic pace, to run off 20 straight wins to start the season. It was as if the more intense the pressure built from the outside, the more tight knit the Syracuse team became on the court. They were like a Greek phalanx, deflecting all shots or challenges and beating the shit out of everyone.

The Bernie Fine story isn't ultimately about basketball though. No matter what happened on the court, this was a dark day for the program, the university, and the Syracuse community. Perhaps the darkest in memory. In the most up and down season in history, this was without question the lowest moment.

RELATED POSTS

None. We went on hiatus for two weeks trying to figure if we could even run this blog anymore in the wake of such terrible news.

Best Moment #1

March 3, 2012 - Syracuse 58, Louisville 49

It was a proper sendoff for Kris Joseph and Scoop Jardine

It was a coronation. A fitting moment of triumph on Senior Night for the most accomplished regular-season team in the history of Syracuse basketball. A perfect ending for the winningest player in SU history, Kris Joseph, and the often-polarizing, but nonetheless beloved, Scoop Jardine.

To fully appreciate this day, one must remember that in their careers in Orange - spanning four years prior to this one between the two - Jardine and Joseph had beaten Louisville exactly ZERO times. But on this Saturday afternoon, the senior duo completed a season sweep of the Cardinals.

The final score read 58-49, but anyone watching knew it wasn't even that close. The Orange took the lead on a Dion Waiters 3-pointer with just less than seven minutes left in the half, and never trailed again. The lead would grow to as much as 19, and the party was on in Syracuse.

Sure, Jardine didn't score a point, and Joseph struggled from the field. But that didn't matter. SU was undefeated at home for the first time since 2003. They completed a 30-1 season, the best in the program's illustrious history. Moved to 17-1 in the conference, among the greatest finishes of all time.

The Orange faithful had the chance to calmly send off two of its all-time greats in Jardine and Joseph in the final moments. Jim Boeheim even smiled - a little. It was a good day.

Click Here to read the entire Top 5 Best and Worst Moments Series

Cuse is on a Boat Motherf****r!

2012-04-04T09:54:00.001-04:00

News broke yesterday that the Carrier Classic, the basketball game played atop the USS Midway, was in search for a bigger name than Georgetown University. As a logical solution, the organizers called up Syracuse and our response was of course, "yes, as long as T-Pain can come as well."

Soon enough, this video leaked, courtesy of Donna Ditota

High Top Hysteria - April 3, 2012

2012-04-03T15:31:00.001-04:00

T-Minus 8 days until D-Day

High Top Hysteria is running pretty high in Cuse Nation these days. There are Twitter campaigns to woo him in the direction of the Orange, and anti-Twitter campaigns to ward off potential recruiting violations. As we are always a trusted news source, Lots of Pulp is here to help you make sense of all the mayhem and destruction leading up to April 11, and his ultimate decision.

Click here to read all the High Top Hysteria Updates

***UPDATE - 3:48 p.m.***

News is flying in every second here on HTH 2012. Just after we finished recapping the days events (see below), a MONSTER Tweet touched down on the Interwebs.

John Barry, apparently a young child, or a small jockey, tugged at Noel's heartstrings with this video.

Judging by how quickly Noel retweeted it to his followers, he is either 100% committing to Syracuse right now, or he hates children and wants to see them suffer. There is no in between. Let's hope, for America's sake, it's the former.

Editor's Note to Johnny - If you're going to be a successful 4-year-old booster, you should work on the "rotate clockwise tool."

High Top Hysteria Update - April 3, 2012

Nerlens News
Fab Melo to sign agent, enter NBA draft (Sporting News)
Nerlens noticed this yesterday, or didn't, when he hit the Twitterverse wondering if Fab was really going pro. That stirred Cuse Nation into a frenzy, launching a hashtag campaign that briefly trended nationwide. Didn't see Kentucky fans doing that. They were too busy at the National Champio ... uhh ... let's move on.

Nerlens Notes
This is your place for hard-hitting analysis of any piece of Nerlens information. We'll take any tidbit, any size, and make sure to give you rash reactions and proclamations. In other words, we'll act just like ESPN. Mass hysteria! Breaking news! Exclusive sources!

Click here for original Tweet

Hold. The. iPhone.
Nerlens retweeted who now? Andrew Schaeffer? In his twitter profile all it says is "Syracuse Orange Basketball." What does this mean?

Well, Nerlens retweets a Syracuse fan saying "I don't care who Nerlens Noel plays for next year."

To me, it seems like he's saying, "Don't worry Drew, I'm coming to Syracuse, but thanks for the compliment. I appreciate your sincere appreciation of my skills regardless of my choice."

Now, those Lexington media outlets might make the point that Nerlens is retweeting a Syracuse fan out of condolences, since he is choosing Kentucky. And if he retweets a Syracuse fan, he's not going to get in trouble for some vague Twitter NCAA regulations.

But don't believe those Calipari salaried hacks. Nerlens clearly is showing the appreciation of not feeling pressure from all of Orange Nation. He knows Andrew Schaeffer is an awesome fan, and he wants him not to worry, cause it's all good because he's coming to SU. His selective retweet proves this. And therefore his high top is leaning legitimately toward Syracuse.

Nerlens Nonsense
Nerlens Noel and the Syracuse Fan Dilemma (TNIAAM)
Recruiting violation, shmecruiting shmiolation. That's the beauty of the Internet people. No one knows who you are. It took people weeks to prove that Anthony Weiner tweeted a picture of his junk to someone. And the dude's name is Weiner, for god's sake.

For all the Internet knows, you're a Kentucky fan, posing as a Syracuse fan, offering Nerlens Noel strippers and cocaine, to come to Syracuse. Or maybe you're a Tennesee fan, pretending to be a Notre Dame fan, pretending to be a Syracuse fan, so they think you're a Kentucky fan, posing as a Syracuse fan, committing 487 recruiting violations, and everyone goes down except those pesky Vols. Because no one ever cheated at Tennessee before ...

Nerlens Nostradamus

The fade looks good in Orange today

The National Title was big for Kentucky, but they really missed the boat on the Twitter hashtag game. They clearly have some catching up to do. Plus, you didn't hear it from me, but a reliable source from within tells me that Nerlens is a responsible young man, who did not take kindly to that rioting. Syracuse fans are so much more peaceful.

Best and Worst Moments from the Best and Worst Season - No. 2

2012-04-03T13:58:00.000-04:00

December 12, 2011 - SU moves to #1 in both polls, haters hate

It's OK, Scoop. We're #1, not #2. You can admit it.

Two days after Kentucky and Ohio State dropped their first games of the season, and exactly one month after the start of the season, Syracuse was once again voted the #1 team in the nation. With ten wins under it's belt, including one against #9 ranked Florida, the Orange were deserving. So deserving indeed, that the normal Syracuse fan insecurity rage (SFIR for short) was aimed at the few individual voters not putting SU number one in their polls.

Each week, SFIR is pointed towards the Ron Morris's and Doug Gottleib's of the media. While it's a bit ridiculous, it's a great issue to have. It's the second time Syracuse is ranked number 1 in the past 3 years, and this time they stayed there ... for six weeks.

That's right. For a month and a half of the season, Syracuse was ranked as the top team in the nation. Despite dropping 2 games the rest of the way, the Orange never fell below #2 in the polls. In this up and down season, take that fact, bathe in it. Rinse. Repeat. That's one hell of an accomplishment.

While all the haters predictably hated, and the Orange faithful predictably hated back, the team was considered one of the finest in the nation, and were awarded the coveted #1 seed in the East. It looked like Syracuse had an excellent chance to make the Final Four, at least in the eyes of the Syracuse fans. Most analysts liked Syracuse to drop in the round of 32. But hey, nice marketing strategy, some fanbase has to fill up your comment section and email inbox.

All Cuse Does is Win, Win, Win
Gunnin' for that #1 Spot
The Ron Morris Poll Edit

Worst Moment #2

March 13, 2012 - Fab Melo suspended ... again

The NCAA title remained out of reach without Fab

This was a dark day. Two days away from the first round of the NCAA Tournament. Syracuse was going in healthy and ready to show the world it earned its #1 seed in the East Region. It would be a wonderful ride, perhaps to the Final Four and Beyond.

Then the announcement. Fab Melo would not play in the tournament because of continued academic issues.

Just devastating. Surely you remember the feeling. The five stages of Fab Melo grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. A lot of us still haven't even made it through them all.

In most seasons, this would be the most soul-crushing thing to happen to a program. A star player, perhaps the most irreplaceable on the team, lost for the rest of the season on the eve of the tournament. A season destined for the Final Four, suddenly on the brink of collapse. But obviously, this was not most seasons (we'll get to that).

The next two days took on a tone of dread. How would SU even make it to Boston? Then suddenly, how would they beat UNC Asheville? Somehow, they persevered, and came within a few plays of the Final Four. But we all knew, whether we wanted to admit it or not, the season ended right here.

Click Here to read the entire Top 5 Best and Worst Moments Series

Nerlens too?

2012-04-02T15:03:00.000-04:00

Predicting Nerlens Noel's decision

2012-04-02T13:20:00.000-04:00

Best and Worst Moments from the Best and Worst Season - No. 3

2012-04-02T12:40:00.000-04:00

March 22, 2012 - Syracuse 64, Wisconsin 63

Expect to see this image on One Shining Moment tonight

As the season progressed and Syracuse established itself as one of the true elite teams in 2012, Orange fans circled the East region as their desired March destination. Selection Sunday was a cause for celebration, as the Orange earned the #1 seed, and alums from around the region would flock to Boston, just as they had in 2003 ...

Floyd Little was among the
Cuse Entourage in Boston

Fast forward to the second weekend in March, and despite missing el Bastardo Grande, Syracuse fans are still feeling good about breaking the Sweet 16 ceiling that hung over the program since 2003. The pregame parties around the TD Garden prove it. Syracuse sports celebrities make a appearances, Orange is everywhere and the intake of alcohol ensures a good crowd, despite the NCAA's arcane dry policy inside.

Then it was on to the basketball; well at least on Syracuse's side. There's no clear way to define Wisconsin's playing style other than maybe a lacrosse team unafraid of a stall warning. Methodical? Maybe. Boring? As all hell.

Yet here we are in the second half of a battle to the death. Because every time the shot clock ticks down, and you think SU has played perfect defense, the group of buzz-cut farmhands drills a 3-pointer. Again and again they fall - 14 in all.

And just like that, there's 19 seconds left and Wisconsin is only down one with the ball. It's terrifying. They couldn't miss all night. How could they miss here? This is the end of the season. But Dion Waiters and Scoop Jardine force Jordan Taylor to chuck a deep and contested three, and just this once, it doesn't go in. The last second prayer by Josh Glasser hangs in the air for what seems like an hour, but finally falls harmlessly to the court. Jubilation in the stands and all over the court. Is it possible that we could see Jimmy B cutting down the nets once again?

RELATED POSTS

Boston Road Trip - Live Blog

Worst Moment #3

March 24, 2012 - Ohio St. 77, Syracuse 70

Add caption

But, alas, the Wisconsin game would be SU's final triumph. The hangover from the gritty win against Wisconsin helped us try to believe we could beat a very talented Ohio State team. The crowd was certainly in the Orange's favor, and Sullinger quickly ran into foul trouble, but it didn't matter in the end. The Buckeyes were too much, and the season had to come to an end.

I'll remember the missed layups and the costly turnovers at the end. I'll remember that neither Joseph nor Waiters could get in any rhythm offensively - probably because the referees were as bad as any in NCAA history, calling 49 fouls on both teams combined. I'll remember not taking advantage of Sullinger missing most of the first half with foul trouble, and Aaron Craft being the most annoying player I've seen since Greg Paulus.

But most of all, I'll remember Scoop Jardine in the picture above - inconsolable that his career was over and he'd fallen just short. A player who had endured nearly everything an SU athlete could over five years. From injuries, to NITs, to No. 1 seeds, to fan scrutiny and fan adoration, Jardine always gave the Syracuse fans everything he had.

It's times like these when you realize how much these athletes really do care. As rabid and crazed as we think we are as fans - and we are - none of us can relate to how Scoop and Kris Joseph felt that night.

Boston Road Trip - Live Blog

Click Here to read the entire Top 5 Best and Worst Moments Series

Syracuse Lottery Wish List

2012-03-30T13:13:00.000-04:00

In case you haven't heard, because you're blocking out the world in wake of SU not being in the final four, the Mega Millions Jackpot is pretty Mega right now. At the time of this writing, it's up to $640 million and will potentially rise even more.

So let's discuss what we good SU fans would use that money for ... other than strippers and cocaine ... I mean ... let's move on.

Syracuse Lottery Wishlist

5. A one-way ticket for Verne Lundquist and Aaron Craft to Nairobi. Then we'll pay to shut the airport down indefinitely and build a wall around their encampment. See how much you two love each other now!

4. Personal tutors for all the "student athletes" at SU. We're not talking sophomore bio majors here either. We're getting professors from every major school in the country to quit their jobs and ~~do the athletes work~~ mentor the athletes in their academic affairs.

3. A football facilities upgrade!!!! But not just any upgrade. This new dome, crafted in the likeness of Doc Gross' head, will feature ceilings that are 25 stories high for our future great punters, wide doorways for HCDM's mammoth thighs, and all the $44 bottles of perfume a young athlete could ever want.

2. SUperFan upgrades: New synthetic knees for the Dome Ranger. A shiny new Orange Blazer for Old Orange Blazer Guy. A full pure cotton towel suit for towel guy. Season tickets for life for Scoop's Dad. Orange Halos for everyone that sits in 311 Heaven. Some new sweaters for Neil Gold. And better covers for the cups for all of us, so THIS never happens again.

1. Painting Georgetown's entire campus, from the roads, to the trees, to the buildings and the grass, completely, obnoxiously Orange. Then we will purchase every supermarket within reasonable and unreasonable driving distance and turn it into a Syracuse-themed TopS Supermarket. And we will gladly pay the ticket that comes with peeing all over every sacred inch of that campus.

What would you do with $640 million? Let us know in the comments...

Best and Worst Moments from the Best and Worst Season - No. 4

2012-03-30T11:56:00.000-04:00

Editor's note: The wounds are still fresh, but we're recapping one of the most memorable seasons in SU Basketball history. It was the best of times ... it was the worst of times. So in that spirit, we'll count down the Top 5 Best and Worst moments in the most up-and-down season any of us can ever remember.

More from the Best and Worst Moments Series
Best and Worst Moment #5
Best and Worst Moment #3
Best and Worst Moment #2
Best and Worst Moment #1

Worst Moment #4

January 21, 2012 - Notre Dame 67, Syracuse 58

God I hate these, f#ckers

It started as a routine Saturday. Get ready for another Syracuse game that would continue to prove the haters wrong and show we could win on the road. Then, a rumor on Twitter turned into pure, unadulterated chaos and hysteria.

First: Handshake specialist and mental warrior Mookie Jones left the team. Next: Fab Melo was labeled everything from the leader of a cheating ring to a student lazier than Nancy Cantor's hairdresser. One thing was clear though, after a few hours of panic; el Bastardo Grande wasn't on the plane to South Bend. Everything goes downhill from there.

Notre Dame decides to play a brand of basketball that should be outlawed. Pass, pass, pass, until one on the shot clock, and throw up a prayer. Of course they go in on this night. They pass on 3-on-1 breaks and pull the ball out to drain the clock.

Chia Pet 2.0 tears up the SU zone and grabs rebound after rebound with Fab Melo absent. To make matters worse, the crowd rushes the court and all the talking heads commence in a media hate-fest, led by a grinning Digger Phelps.

It seems like they might have a point though. It looks like there's no way this team can win without Fab ...

RELATED POSTS

What Lies Ahead - Notre Dame
Digger Phelps - The Creeper of Notre Dame
The Annoying Notre Dame Player Awards
Syracuse Basketball Rises
GIFs of the Week - Notre Dame
#FabMeloRumors - Fab Himself Clears Things Up
#FabMeloRumors
How Fab Became a Block Machine
Baller's Backups - Fab Melo
How Chipotle Turned Fab into a Skinny Star

Best Moment #4

February 4, 2012 - Syracuse 95, St. John's 70

All your house is belong to us

Days before Syracuse "traveled" to its home away from home at Madison Square Garden, word began leaking that Fab Melo would be back. It was a welcome sight after three tough games that included SU's first loss and a controversial near loss against West Virginia. Something was missing, and Fab was clearly it.

So when the Big Guy came back against St. John's, it was no surprise the Orange came out firing on all cylinders. It was poetic that a Melo dunk put SU ahead 8-7 for the first time in the game - a lead that would never be relinquished - as they ran up the score against the Johnnies in their "home" building.

Five players in double figures. Winning the rebound battle 42-31. Five blocked shots. Twenty-three assists on 39 field goals. Jim Boeheim tying Dean Smith on the all-time wins list. A couple of signature Dion Waiters fast-break dunks. An even more eye-popping dunk from a child named MCW. It was the type of performance that led you to call your friend to look up RV prices to New Orleans. No joke.

Oh, and it was a reminder to SJU fans who runs NYC. As always, Dion summed it up best on Twitter ...

Blatantly stolen from Nunesmagician.com

And in case there was any doubt. Let's let YouTube explain who's house this is? Make sure to keep your eye on Scoop after the dunk. We'll miss you, Antonio.