Lots of Pulp

Roll Bounce 2: Camden Showdown

2012-04-11T11:02:00.000-04:00

In case you've made the tragic and heartbreaking decision to unfollow @dionwaiters3, you may have missed this:

Dion Waiters is hosting a roller-skating party later this month.

Go ahead, read that again.

If you live in the Southern New Jersey/Philadelphia area, you have absolutely no excuses. Here's where it is:

I'm working on getting some loyal Cusians to go get their skate on. You should too.

Send us pictures if you attend, although you might want to get out of there before 3 AM. I imagine much good doesn't happen at a Camden skating rink at that time.

One picture has already been leaked in a lead up to the event:

A Obtwittuary - Dion Waiters

2012-04-10T10:45:00.001-04:00

Ah, @dionwaiters3, we barely knew you.

With our beloved Dion taking his talents to the NBA after two years donning the orange, we've penned a final piece reflecting upon his first tumultuous, then matured and impressive career.

For his orange obituary, or obtwittuary, we've used only Dion's most tweeted words from his tweet cloud. Enjoy. We'll miss you Dion.

Dion,

Bro. Wassup?
Wife love Dion.
Dude respect, appreciate Dion.
SMH, town love Dion.
Never humble,
Always hungry.

Fan Favorite,

True Beast.

Watching lil Philly play hard,

Always running, giving, unstoppable.

Top sixth man,

Dion Waiters showed true swag.

Keep rocking, don't stop.

Make school proud.

NBA draft pick, yessir.

Salute, homie. Respect.

Love,

CuseNation

From UConn to Kentucky: A Scholar's Road

2012-04-05T15:53:00.000-04:00

With Anthony Davis clearly heading to the NBA draft, Kentucky is scrambling to fill the void of shot swatting, ugly mugging, paint domination for next year. And while you may have heard that Calipari is targeting this Noel fella, they may already have their answer in Alex Oriakhi.

Wait, Alex Oriaki? He of 8 points, 5 rebounds and 1 block a game? Surely you jest.
We'll conveniently believe that they are going after Oriakhi or Noel. Not both. Good. Moving on...

Via Jeff Goodman on Twitter (@GoodmanCBS):

Yes, that's right folks.

This is about the academics. Akin to transferring from Harvard to UPenn, Oriakhi has decided to make the switch from the hallowed classrooms in Storrs to the intellectual's utopia - the SEC.
Understandable. Yet, which area of study will be available at the University of Payche...um Kentucky, that isn't already available at the University of Farmi...Connecticut?

Using our wide-reaching network of correspondents and connections (aka - the Internet) we got our hands on the UConn course catalog. Here are some highlights (note: these are ACTUAL classes, no joke):

- Nutrition and Feeding of Livestock (of course)
- Behavior and Training of Domestic Animals (because "sit" and "stay" are demanding orders)
- Computers in Modern Society (you know, these modern day laptops sure are portable)
- Evolving Law of Arrest, Search and Seizure (always good to see the flip-side)
- Floral Art (for serious?)
- Athletic Field Management

With this expansive of a class list, what could Oriakhi plan on studying at Kentucky?

- Sociology 101: The community of Kentucky: One's horse is more important than one's woman

- Economics 203: Issues in money laundering and other forms of embezzlement

- Business 301: Bouncing back from bankruptcy or other federal violations

It's an interesting decision for young Alex to make. With the offer to leave Storrs and its drunken coach for a chance to play for an equally angry but better paying coach, you can fully expect to see Oriakhi make the switch. Now the most important question is what his new major will be.

Leave your best guesses in the comments.

Cuse is on a Boat Motherf****r!

2012-04-04T09:54:00.001-04:00

News broke yesterday that the Carrier Classic, the basketball game played atop the USS Midway, was in search for a bigger name than Georgetown University. As a logical solution, the organizers called up Syracuse and our response was of course, "yes, as long as T-Pain can come as well."

Soon enough, this video leaked, courtesy of Donna Ditota

Nerlens too?

2012-04-02T15:03:00.000-04:00

Unstoppable...Dion Waiters is.

2012-03-27T14:23:00.000-04:00

In honor of Dion going pro, let's bring back an old favorite ...

The Eli Manning Citizen Eco-Drive watch commercials used to make everyone laugh. That is, until he won a Super Bowl.

We have a feeling no one will be laughing at the new Eco-Drive commercial. If you do, Jimmy B will find you to tell you that you're wrong.

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Gripes of Wrath - by Jim Boeheim

2012-03-19T09:15:00.001-04:00

In case you missed it, before their second game, Syracuse coach Jim Boehiem had a message for the media:

"Reggie Miller, you don't know your business."

Reggie, Jim Boeheim would like you to know the following:
a) You're on his shit list
b) You don't know anything about college basketball and haven't watched a game.
c) You don't know shit about him, or his slaying ability.
d) Your game didn't impress him in the slightest bit.

You'd like to see this played out in GIFs?

Sure.

First up: Jimmy deciding whether or not to pop off:

Yea, I'm going after you. It's decided

Hey Reggie, hold that while I teach you how to dougie:

Ding. Done. I'm finished. Laugh at that guy

Damn, I crack myself up

Rise and Fire! The Story of Gus Johnson's Ascent and Breakup with CBS Sports

2012-03-13T11:52:00.001-04:00

By now, you have to know the unfortunate news.

This will be the first NCAA tournament in recent memory without epic, screaming, Gus Johnson calls.

CBS and Gus had quite a ride:

For a best of, go to YouTube. I couldn't bear posting a video with that game with the "from the parking lot" call.

No more Rise and Fire! No more For the WINNNNNN! No more OOOO WHAT A GAME!

If you're wondering why I'm yelling these at you, go to this website. Click on all of your favorite Gus Johnson sayings, begin crawling, curl up in the fetal position, comfort yourself with the PURREEE call, and then return to whatever you were doing before.

So, you say, what happened to Gus Johnson? Where will he be this March?

There is an answer to this question. Gus is taking his talents to the scripted world of television.

If it's not going to be March Madness, going to SVU is the best thing Gus could do. (H/T Andrew DiSalvo for the video).

"The charge is murder in the first degree. HERE comes the pain! Guilty. Count it!"

A Tale of Two GIFs - Big East Tournament

2012-03-11T11:00:00.001-04:00

Let's take one last look back at the Big East Tournament before getting fully prepared for the Big Dance.

The two days in NYC were not exactly how Syracuse fans drew it up. Instead of some serious analysis, we'll happily take the 1 seed and just show a looping reaction to the last two games.

Click Here to check out previous GIFs

Win over UConn means, Happy Chancy Nancy with an awkward shake + fist pump!

Then there was the yawn "we're playing?", then a severe foul stench of frustration, then desperation, then final feeling of falling just short vs. Cincinnati (we lied, this takes more than one GIF).

What the hell is that smell? Oh, it's poop in our shorts.

This is making me angry!

I'm too old for this shit. (Julie, at least, finds this funny)

Topped off by a final, flailing effort that falls just short.

So how does SU recover? Well hopefully they put Scoop in the middle of this circle next time and resurrect his skills.

The Battle for the DePaul BET Game

2012-03-07T12:15:00.001-05:00

There was talk on Twitter about calling the opening 12 p.m. game of the Big East Tournament "The DePaul Game."

Fitting title. Always funny, yet somewhat sad to see DePaul battle and eventually lose every opening Tuesday. Despite being disappointing, it is a game named after DePaul, which has to be somewhat of an honor for the program.

But in a few years, DePaul may have some serious competition for "The DePaul Game."

I present to you:
"High Noon: The Battle for Inferiority"

RELATED POST - Beware the nonuple bye: Previewing the 2015 BET

Let's take a look at what the battle between DePaul, Houston and Southern Methodist would look like if it were to take place this year.
Beware. These statistics are incredibly disgusting.

Offensive Efficiency:
Houston: 101th in the country. Not too bad.
Southern Methodist: 250th. Behind schools like Jacksonville, Jacksonville St., NJIT (yes, NJIT), Stetson, IUPU - Ft. Wayne Mastadons (an actual team) and Lipscomb just to name a few.
DePaul: 139th.

Looks like SMU has an early edge.

Defensive Efficiency:
Houston: 253rd
Southern Methodist: 159th
DePaul- 277th

Wow.

Massey Rankings - Let's take a look at the comprehensive Massey rankings to see where the teams stack up overall.
Houston: 170th
Southern Methodist: 192nd
DePaul: 163rd

SMU takes home 2 of the 3 categories, and look like early favorites.

But a lot can get worse between 2012 and 2015.

High or Not?

2012-03-06T11:47:00.001-05:00

Is this the next logo in the ever-changing series?

By now, you've heard the earth-shattering news that Syracuse basketball players may have smoked weed, and then played basketball. A favorite activity for many college students, athletes or not.

Sure, there's the issue of Syracuse not following it's own policy. And there's the issue that the NCAA says "Make your own rules if you want. Follow them. If you don't we'll come punish you." They should probably just have their own policy.

Rules for cream cheese on bagels? Absolutely.

Policy on enforcing drug use by athletes? Eh, too complicated.

Since Syracuse is the only school in the entire NCAA that has players who use recreational drugs, and it is the only school that does not punish these players, we've dug deep into photo archives in an investigative piece of our own.

High or Not? The past decade of potentially stoned SU Basketball Players

Jostling playfully for a candid photo, or
giggling hysterically at Mookie Watkins cause his eyes are even droopier after some bong rip exercises.

Two friends enjoying a meal...or

Eagerly anticipating their Johnny Rockets burger after an afternoon full of the ever-lethal Madden and Cannibis combo?

Playing some aggressive doofy defense....or

Mistaking this poor offensive player for a mid game munchie break?

Is Billy Edelin missing....or

Is he just passed out on a couch somewhere?

Is Paul Harris confused about the score....

Or is Paul Harris just confused about the score?

Eric Devendorf trying to loosen up Jimmy B....or

telling coach, "Me fail a drug test? That's unpossible."

Letting everyone know he's a deadly three-point shooter....or

Showing the Carrier Dome proper form for holding two joints at once.

Cheering on a player after some eye surgery....or

so blazed that the Carrier Dome lights were just too damn bright.

GIFs of the Week - Big East Title Edition

2012-02-28T10:47:00.002-05:00

It was a good week for Syracuse ... clinching the No. 1 seed in the Big East Saturday afternoon. Clinching the Big East Championship outright Saturday night. Oh, while also ruining another whiteout and College Gameday experience for those poor pathetic UConn fans. And it's even more fun in GIFs. Let's recap ...

GIFs of the Week - Big East Title Edition
Click Here to check out previous GIFs
RELATED POST - Dramatic Boeheim Stare

JSouth shows that he's more than just a shooter.
Instagram is the anti-posterize

GIFSoup

Waiters Slam
Nice help defense UConn.

GIFSoup

MCDubz to Fab

GIFSoup

Triche Twist
Guess Boeheim took out the old oil can for Robot Triche

GIFSoup

Jim Burr's night
That smell's not coming from your shoe ... it's you.

GIFSoup

GIFSoup

Jimmy B
Hold your breath if you hate UConn

GIFSoup

With Jim Calhoun still out ...
It was Boeheim's time to shine all by himself.

GIFSoup

GIFSoup

GIFSoup

CJ Fair - no foul
In case you haven't noticed, SU's go-to guy is whoever is blocking your shot.

GIFSoup

The thrill of victory ... the agony of defeat

GIFSoup

Jimmy B loves laughing during his postgame interviews. Just not with local reporters. You'd smile at Erin Andrews too, though.

GIFSoup

KJo flashes the cheerleaders. This isn't New Orleans ... yet.

GIFSoup

The Odd Case of Brandon Triche

2012-02-24T12:14:00.000-05:00

It seems that for two years now, you've been hearing a lot of things about Brandon Triche.

You've heard or said that it seems like he's temperamental. Some days he looks like he wants to dominate, other days it looks like he's just going to tentatively go through the motions.

It's likely that you've also discussed the fact that he seems to have all the assets to be a force.

Jim Boeheim has told you that he "has never lost faith in Brandon" and he constantly praises him. I can't remember many players that coast by without much of a verbal beatdown from Jimmy B. But Brandon seems to avoid most of Jim's wrath. Boeheim is a staunch Triche defender. But maybe that's because...

Jim Boeheim created Brandon Triche.

What?

Work with me here.

Brandon Triche is a robot. You've seen rare flashes of emotions, but that's just his circuits crossing. Ever rigid in his movements, straight faced Triche plays with little flair.

There have been a few additions to try and mask the fact that Brandon Triche was manufactured in the Life Sciences building under the supervision of Jimmy B.

First, he was given some scraggly facial hair to give him the appearance of human qualities.

Second, his circuits have once or twice been crossed to show some mild emotions this year, just to keep skeptics at bay.

Third, he's been allowed to do things like this.

Yet, why has he been struggling recently? Why is he having technical difficulties that land him on the bench at the end of games?

Jim Boeheim is turning down Brandon's power.

Boeheim is simply waiting for the right moment to fully utilize what he has in the junior guard.

For now, Robot Triche will just have to go through the motions.

All Cuse Does is Win, Win, Win.

2012-02-22T11:00:00.005-05:00

Do Syracuse fans sometimes overreact and think all members of the media hate the Orange?
Yes.

Does it get tiring listening to the same four talking points, or listening to pundits simply trying to instigate vigor from the fan base?
Of course.

While many Syracuse fans hammer out their complaints on their keyboards, what does the team do?
Well DJ Khaled has your answer.

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Revenge of the Alley Oop GIF - Syracuse beats Rutgers

2012-02-21T10:14:00.002-05:00

Syracuse's matinee matchup against Rutgers on Sunday may have been a bit closer than Cuse fans likely expected. While we could sit here and critique why the game was so close, there's a simple explanation. Rutgers (outside of their coach) simply doesn't bring it in the looping play department. Syracuse, however, made sure they gave plenty of good GIF.

Syracuse vs. Rutgers
Click Here to check out previous GIFs

First off, Dion Waiters has a trademark dunk. Or as Dickey Simpkins (we miss you by the way, Dickey) would say, "The waiter serves you the daily special, whether you like it or not!"
Dion's trademark returned against Rutgirls.

You may have heard the shocking, disturbing news over the weekend that Scoop Jardine and Dion Waiters are not cousins. Ridiculous, I know.

But that doesn't mean Scoop and Dion won't be there to support each other.

Scoop sure was in a good mood Saturday. He finally decided to back up his claim as "college's best alley ooper"

To Dion:

To Robot Triche, who somehow soars horizontally to the ground:

To CJ, who in mid-air decides to reverse. Nice. Check out Scoop hopping off the screen in excitement (stage left).

"All this alley-ooping is making my back sore."

"I think I'll try something different"

So what did the coaches think of all this?
First up, Mike Rice is on crack.

This looks like a tough workout.

It appears he may want the ball

Give Rice another 30 years and he'll mellow out. Unless Jim Burr's liver somehow holds strong.

"Oh my god."
"JIMMY!"

GIFsanity - Syracuse beats Louisville

2012-02-16T11:17:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the delay (and the Jeremy Lin headline) on this one. Despite my love for GIFs, attention on Valentine's Day had to be focused elsewhere.

While it wasn't a breakneck, high flying game, Syracuse did have some nice finishes inside between 28 missed outside shots. While it didn't quite have the loopability of the UConn game, a few plays were able to make for a nice GIFs.

GIFsanity - Syracuse beats Louisville
Click Here to check out previous GIFs

Before we get to anything game related, good thing Peyton Siva was focused on something else Monday night:

The Big Bastard took to the sky for this game, flying all over the place. Did you hear that he lost some weight this off-season?

CJ was, as per usual, in the right spot in the right time all game.

Robot Triche was going through his usual motions in the first half. After a couple of mechanical tweaks by technician Red Autry, he came out attacking in the second half.

JSouth is really struggling shooting the ball. If that continues, lets see more of this rare pass to yourself play

Did you hear that the refs were awful on Monday?
Referee "Look Jim, I'm not sure if I've been clear enough, but I want to make it clear that I really suck."
Jim "I know that. You do suck. You truly do."

We will wrap up Monday's game with the Many Emotions of Jim Boeheim

Skeptical.
Sarcastically intrigued.
Sarcastically amused.

Finally, two non-SU pieces of multimedia.

First, JSouth better be taking notes. Last year he was the king of the pregame dance. It's time for him to get back to the huddle and step his game up, because Kansas State is bringing it right now

And lastly, Syracuse students.
The big heads you've brought to home games have been decent. But until I see one of these, I won't be satisfied.

Caption Contest

2012-02-14T16:24:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time between games, so while there's been little news regarding the team and Fab to toy with, we've scoured the internet for Cuse related pictures.

Here's one that's too good to pass by. Here are your two jobs:

1) Throw up your own caption for the ridiculous picture below.

2) Celebrate Jim Boeheim moving into 4th place in all time wins by cruising through the SOPA-free interwebs and submit them at our sister site http://jimboeheimstaringdownthings.tumblr.com/

Kris Jo Game Winner Reactions

2012-02-10T12:12:00.005-05:00

Crisco Kris smoothly drops the game winner. You freaked out, of course.

How did the team react? A closer inspection reveals the answer.

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KrisJo - Spaying Hoyas since 2010

2012-02-09T11:40:00.001-05:00

Back in the year 2010, a young Kris Joseph struggled during a February matchup against the Hoyas. But then, with Cuse clinging to a one-point lead, Jim Boeheim isolated his sophomore at the top of the key. Said Boeheim:
"Kris just had a horrendous night. He kept missing layups," Boeheim said. "That's why I went to him at the end -- because I knew he was due."
Kris drove hard and finished with a strong layup to put Syracuse up 3, and just about seal the deal.

Then, a seasoned KJo took a struggling Cuse team on his back in the matchup of 2012, and let everyone know, even Canadians hate Georgetown.

Every Syracuse Fan's Dream

2012-02-08T13:00:00.001-05:00

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#LethalBoeheim

2012-02-08T10:42:00.002-05:00

In honor of Georgetown Hate Day - we're bringing back an oldie, but goodie, which originally aired in October. We think you'll still enjoy it today.

Be on the lookout, world. Jimmy B is one cranky bastard. And he spares no expenses in his hunts of hatred.

To view more "Georgetown Sucks" posts, click here.

Dunk Reactions - MCW Edition

2012-02-06T13:13:00.005-05:00

When watching Syracuse wallop St. Johns, you were treated to a mammoth dunk by MCDubz.

You likely asked yourself, "I know I jumped off the couch, but how did the rest of the players react?"

Excellent question.

Here's your answer:

Related post - GIFs of the week

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GIFs of the Week

2012-02-06T12:00:00.003-05:00

Sure, there may have been other sporting events this weekend, but one in particular was GIFtacular. Syracuse's massacre of St. John's provided a rich collection of GIFs, stocking this edition to the max.

GIFs of the week: February 6th
Related post - Dunk Reactions - MCW
Click Here to check out previous GIFs

This first one was made by accident, but it pretty much sums up what we all think of St. John's claiming to be NY's team. And it shows Boeheim showing a strange, slightly Italian side. GIFSoup

You ask what it means to have Fab back - well here's a visual display. Blocks. Fast Breaks. Slams. GIFSoup

The game was full of some classic Jimmy B faces.
First up - Jim is only somewhat pleased by the score.

GIFSoup

Jim was red and ready to rage, prowling before the kill.

A classic Jimmy B death-stare for MCW. I have the feeling Jim may have inspired the young man.

GIFSoup

Seems like MCDubz got the message.

GIFSoup

From what Dion Waiters knows, MSG is Syracuse's gym.

GIFSoup

Related post - Dunk Reactions - MCW

Jim Boogie Boeheim

2012-02-02T11:32:00.004-05:00

Next up in the :44 second video series, it's looping dancing Boeheim. Enjoy!

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GIFs of the Week

2012-01-31T12:00:00.002-05:00

It's that time again, where endless loops of video goodness descend upon your screens.

This week, the goodness is not as rich with only one not-so-spectacular Syracuse game. If you see any GIF worthy videos, make sure to leave them in the comments or tweet videos to us @CusePulpDesoto or @CusePulpTashmo.

Click Here to check out previous GIFs

Fabbie Fresh, looking dapper as ever.

GIFSoup

Jim Boeheim goes from whining, to furious in a heartbeat.

GIFSoup

And since there wasn't much SU material out there, here's an oldie but goodie. I'm pretty sure this is what everyone does to their TV when Reggie speaks.

GIFSoup