Listen to Lou being Interviewed on The Best of Portland about “The 7 Keys to Successful Living”:

1. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude!
I know of no better foundation for anything worthwhile than that of gratitude. Be thankful. One of the great ways to get more is to be thankful for what you already got. Gratitude gets you ready, gets the consciousness ready to receive more by being appreciative for what you already got.

Action step:
Simple exercise – start every morning by saying three things you’re grateful for. Soon your gratitude will reflect in everything you do, I promise.

2. Be clear on what you want and why you want it!
There is tremendous power in clarity; it gives us that laser-sharp focus required to be successful at anything. A lion does not see the herd of buffaloes; it only focuses on the “one” buffalo it will attack. We could all learn from that example to increase our success rate in whatever we pursue in our lives. There will always be thorns before the rose; this is where the “why” comes in. The stronger the reasons behind what you want, the easier is will be for you to go through the thorns on your way to the rose.

Action step:
Write down 3 goals in all major areas of your life (health, finances, relationships, career, adventure, love…) and why you want to accomplish them. Plan the work and work the plan!

3. Don’t do it alone; leverage yourself!
Success leaves clues. Learn from those who have traveled the road you’re on; follow the proven strategies they generously left behind. There is no need for us to reinvent the wheel, instead, let’s build synergistic partnerships with people in order to leverage our efforts. There’s an African proverb that says; “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others.”

Action step:
Find mentors in your area(s) of interest. Take them to lunch or buy them coffee and ask them to guide you through. Find like-minded people to rally around your idea/cause and capitalize on the unique gifts and talents each one brings to the table.

4. Congruency!
I define congruency as that magical place where who you are and what you do are in total alignment. True success comes when we do what we love and we love what we do. When our values and our core beliefs are manifested daily in our actions. I heard someone describe work as “love made visible”; well that can only be true if there’s congruency in our lives. When congruency is absent, we hear things like; “…I hate my job, but it pays the bills…”, “….I love my spouse, but I’m not in love with him/her…”, “I want to be financially independent but I believe money is the root of all evil”, “I want to be healthy and fit but hate working out…”, “…I want to be successful but don’t want the attention that comes with it…” and so on and so on. It’s impossible to move forward when we have internal conflicting values and negative self talk. Our actions must be in alignment with our core values and beliefs if we are truly going to live a fulfilling life!

Action step:
Ask yourself this first series of questions; “Who am I?”, “What are my core values and beliefs?”, “What are my standards?” After you’ve listed the answers, now ask yourself the following: “Are my daily actions reflecting who I am inside?”, “Do I surround myself with the people that mirror my character?”, “Am I being true to myself?” Write down your answers and go over them regularly.

5. Feel the fear and do it anyway!
To no one’s surprise, fear is the greatest obstacle standing between us and our dreams. Whether it’s the fear of failure or the fear of success, we are crippled by it just the same. Fear is such a powerful force; an emotion so intense that no matter who you are, where you are and what you do, you’ve felt it many times in your life. I believe fear is not to be avoided but rather used to our advantage. Fear is nothing but a call to action! It’s not a coincidence that the less prepared, less informed, less equipped, less skillful we are, the more fearful we get. I say, let’s welcome fear; let it inspire us to become better prepared, equipped, informed…to take on whatever lies in front of us. Just don’t let it paralyze you!

Action step:
Resolve today to use fear to push you forward rather the stop you dead in the tracks or make you change direction. Remember the acronym: False Evidence Appearing Real!

6. Never quit!
One of the many lessons I’ve learned from my father is simply NOT to give up. Never quit! I believe that true failure only occurs when we throw in the towel and quit. Every successful people, business, country, organization has ‘failed’ their way to the top. In fact, the main reason they’re at the top is because they simply do not quit. Try until you triumph! In baseball, the leader in home runs is usually also the leader in strikeouts; you just got to keep on keeping on. As cliché as it may sound, it is true; “winners never quit and quitters never win!”

Action step:
Decide today to throw the word quit out of your vocabulary. Change your approach as many times as you need to in order to achieve your goals but do not quit on your dreams!

7. Significance!
This is simply my favorite of all 7 keys. Significance speaks to our ability to lift others around us and take them to a higher level. There’s a Congolese saying that goes: “When you take the elevator to the top, don’t forget to send it back down for someone else.” Significance is about lighting another’s candle and creating more light for everyone. Be a river and not a reservoir; let your gifts and talents flow on to others. Remember, what you give, you get to keep!

Action step:
Volunteer, mentor someone, help wherever you can, share freely, give more, expect less…

Let’s start with “Be More”. We are all too familiar with the gap that exists between what we do and what we are capable of doing. The gap between who we are and what we are capable of becoming! In fact I would dare to say that this gap is the driving force that governs most of our great pursuits in life. While we’re here on earth, our mission will remain to live up to our potential. Untapped potential is one of life’s worse tragedies. No one, no organization, no country has a monopoly on potential, it’s an infinite resource that we all can tap into and push ourselves to become more. The acorn has the potential to become an oak tree but only if we create the right conditions for that to happen. The same is true for the life we want for ourselves, the business growth we hope for or the societal changes we strive for. Thomas Edison said, “If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” The great Nelson Mandela echoes this when he says, “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” Challenge yourself, starting today to simply “BE MORE”!

The second part of my answer will bring you fulfillment and add meaning to your life. Simply “Give More”. It was Horace Mann that said: “We should be ashamed to die until we’ve won some victory for humanity.” The best reason for filling your own personal cup life is so that you have more to give to others! Remember, when you light another’s candle, you lose nothing of your own; you just produce more light! I truly believe that this should be a primary focus for all of us personally and professionally. Give More is about sending the elevator back down for someone else after you’ve been to the top. Challenge yourself, starting today to simply, “GIVE MORE”!

“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” -Steve Prefontaine

SIGNIFICANCE
“When you light another’s candle you lose nothing of your own, you just produce more light.” Don’t pursue success, pursue significance! Fans, fame and fortune will never beat faith family and friends!

Successful people will talk about how giving back is no big deal. Giving back implies you took something and now you return in a sense of duty or obligation. Significance speaks of giving for the sake of giving! “Always give without remembering, always receive without forgetting.” Words uttered by William Barclay, Scottish theologian. Giving is like loving; you don’t love your children back, you just love them!

Go from:
Survival (barely making it)
to
Stability (having enough to make it through)
to
Success (great value to oneself)
to
Significance (great value to others)

And never forget…
“To the world you just might be one person, but to one person, you can be the world”

If you have a passion for what you do, you give yourself the best chance of finding real success. I’ve been privileged to witness this first hand watching my father teach at the university for more than thirty years! His passion for learning, teaching and inspiring young people has not only kept him performing at a high level but perhaps more importantly, has brought him a true sense of purpose and meaning in his labor of love. It’s been said that work is love made visible; is it true for you?

We spend more than half of our adult life “working”. And I hope you agree with me that time is by far the most valuable and limited of our resources. It then begs the question: “Why spend it doing something we’re not passionate about?” I’m asking you to find and do something you’d enjoy spending twelve to fifteen hours a day working at, and the rest of the time thinking about. Let your yearning for learning, doing and serving be greater than the one for earning. Get away from making a living; start designing a life!

Compensation should not be your main goal, finding your passion should. Trust me, compensation will do what it does best, follow! Work is not your punishment. It’s your reward, your strength and your pleasure. Since that 20th day of November 2006, the day I made the decision to truly follow my passion and build my life around it; I’ve worked harder than ever. But you know what? It truly hasn’t felt like it used to when I was in the ‘rat race’! Please understand that; finding, having the guts to follow and monetize your passion is hard work; but it’s so worth it that it doesn’t feel like it! I usually joke around with people saying that I’m “retired”! It truly is an incredible feeling to do what you love and love what you do.

When your vocation becomes your vacation, you’ll never work another day in your life. Your potential will never be realized doing something you’re not passionate about. Let’s not take our dreams, true potential and gifts to the graveyard; instead, let’s live full and die empty!

Thirty years ago this month, four years after bringing me in this world, my mom passed away suddenly. She was only 29 years young. August has always been a reflective month for me and my family as we look back on the life of our dear Mbya Agnes Beatrice Lukusa Radja. Indeed, life is brief.

I share her story with you not only to remind you of the fragility of life, but more importantly, to urge you to squeeze all the juice out of life! I meet too many people, and I used to be one of them, who continue to postpone their happiness, delay taking action on their dreams and always waiting the right time to do anything.  Waiting for that one perfect day, that perfect place, that perfect one! I’ve come to learn in my own life that “perfect” is and will permanently remain, around the corner! Remember the words of Mark Twain: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Stop using excuses, stop blaming, stop fearing, stop over analyzing, stop rationalizing,…and take Nike’s advice and just do it! Today! Now! This moment is really all we have power over; why postpone? There will always be challenges, so what? Waiting for the perfect time is truly an exercise in futility. Start that business, write that book, take that vacation, tell him or her how you really feel, ask for forgiveness, forgive…Today!

Life is brief; and losing a parent is too high of a price to learn this truth. I’m amazed at how much she was able to accomplish in those 29 years she walked this earth. She didn’t wait. She didn’t postpone. She Lived!  I’m asking you to use this story to inspire you, as it has me, to throw “postponing” out of your vocabulary. Get out of your own way and start creating the life you’ve always dreamed of. Today!  Life is brief, but that’s not what’s tragic about it. Waiting to start LIVING is!

“Don’t wait for your ship to come, swim out to it.”

1. Choose wisely: Only YOU decide what rejection means!
Rejection has no meaning except the one you choose to attach to it. You and I must take 100% responsibility for the way we feel when faced with rejection or the word “no”. Let’s use a sales example; so you put a presentation together for a potential client and you follow it with a pitch for their business and they say no! Now you have to decide what that means, how you feel and what impact that will have on your next one. See you are in control not them, you have the power to choose. You can choose to: have a pity party and say things like “….This is why I hate sales”, “…I’m not cut out for this”, “…I’m a failure”… Or, you can choose to learn from the experience, ask empowering questions like: “How can I improve on before my next one?”, “What did I do right?” “How can I package it better next time?” “Who should I reach out to next time?”… Remember the 90-10 rule; life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it. The choice is yours.

2. Don’t take it personal: it’s not about you!
It’s important to understand that we are all tuned into the world’s biggest radio station, W.I.I.F.M (What’s In It For Me). When we encounter rejection, we are quick to take it personal and that only makes matters worse. Reality is that people say no for their self interest, their bottom line, their desires,…not you and me. It might be a shock to our ego, but people don’t think about us as much as we think they do. The more we understand this human reality, the easier it is to get away from the unhealthy habit of taking things personally. We must stay focused on the goal!

3. All you can get is a YES!
We already have the NO before we even go after our dreams; so why fear the starting point? It doesn’t make sense. See John didn’t have a date before he asked Beth out; so if Beth says no, then John is simply right back where he was. Bruce already does not have the client he’s going after, so what if they say no? Nothing has changed. Nina applies to Yale and gets a rejection letter from them, how is that any different the Yale-less life she was leading before? But on the other hand, imagine how exciting it would be for John if Beth said YES, if Bruce landed that client or Nina getting accepted at Yale! See the reward, also known as YES, will always outweigh the often imagined risk, also known as NO.

4. It’s simply a numbers game!
I hope the words of Hall of Fame basketball legend Michael Jordan will drive this point home for you; “I’ve missed more than nine thousands shots in my career. I’ve lost almost three hundreds games. Twenty six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot, and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. That is why, I succeed.” I couldn’t put it any better than that. So try until you try-umph!

5. Attitude is indeed, everything!
Talk to any highly successful individuals and you’ll soon find that they have a positive attitude and are always looking up despite reasons to do otherwise. You and I must have the same excitement and enthusiasm after 1 or 1001 so called rejections. “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”—Zig Ziglar

Fear no more!

You might say; “Lou, that sounds great but how do I get or keep the faith in the midst of negative relatives, financial difficulties, abusive or loveless relationships, self-sabotage…?” Well here’s the best part about faith; it’s not something you get or acquire, faith is something we all already have! The problem is that many of us use this great power in reverse gear by allowing our mind to focus on circumstances and things we do not want; lack, ill health, failure…and defeat instead of directing it towards what we desire; abundance, joy, love,…and fulfillment. Look, unsuccessful people only see the hole, while successful people also see the doughnut around the hole! So it’s really about how you and I apply our faith in all that life throws at us. Life is exactly what you and I make of it; cultivating applied faith gives us the edge in designing the life we know we deserve. Today, I have the privilege to inspire, coach and help people and organizations achieve greater results; I wouldn’t have even dared going after my dreams without first cultivating the mental attitude of applied faith. Our capacity to believe, to have faith in ourselves will determine the level of success we are to enjoy in our lifetime.

Adopting the “extra mile” philosophy is about going above and beyond in all areas of our lives. Success is what you do after you do what’s expected of you! So let’s challenge one another this week to give more than 100% in everything we do. If it’s worth doing it at all, then it’s worth all our efforts and more. It’s by developing the habit of going the extra mile that we’ll create the life of abundance and fulfillment we all deserve. So let’s start a little earlier and stay a little later in whatever job or task we’re taking on. The extra mile will make you and I not only appreciated for the value we bring, but indispensable both in our personal and professional lives. It will help us excel in our line of work because we will always improve on previous tasks. See you on the extra mile!

Action Step:
Like any new habits, it takes time, consistency and effort to make it part of you. The extra mile philosophy is no different. Demand more of yourself and raise the bar in all that you do. Show up early at work, do one more lap, leave a better tip after a meal, show the people you love more then they expect, send that unexpected gift of handwritten letter. Simply put, do more! 100% is no longer the limit, make it 150, 200, 300 in all that you do, starting today.

It was in the fall of 2006 when I really took time out and first began this painful but rewarding introspection process in my own life. I started by asking myself this incredibly hard question; “…Am I settling for less…?” What was even more agonizing was hearing that inner voice coming back to me saying; “YES.” I started examining the major areas of my life (Relationships, career, finances, education,…) with that same question “Am I settling for less?” and YES kept coming back over and over. I must tell you, it’s hard to look in that mirror and see your shortcomings and the areas you know you need to improve. I realized that my life was FAR MORE than what I’ve demonstrated; not only to myself but to the world! It was almost like hitting the “reset” button for my life. This painful, slow, necessary and rewarding introspection helped me redesign my life and strive to be my very best. Warning: this is a never-ending process, you never arrive!

Today, as a Motivational Speaker and Coach, I meet people all over the world with the same challenges that come from settling for less. We are too busy surviving that we forget that thriving is even an option. We lose our self confidence, we develop insecurities, we adopt a cynic attitude, we start tolerating rather than celebrating life, we stop believing and we become “realistic”. It’s almost as if we are expected to make peace with mediocrity!

Here’s what happens; whether we “settle” for less than we want in our career, relationship, dreams or in any other area of your life, the knowledge that we have compromised our heart and intuitive truth will consciously or unconsciously lead us to sabotage our own choice. Your actions may not be conscious, but no one can live with the pain of self-sabotage and not find an outlet for that pain. That pain may turn into depression, an addiction or into anger at the other person for becoming a constant source of disappointment, but that pain has to go somewhere. The good news is, this does not have to be our reality; you and I can change it!

Action Step: Take a hard look at your life in the areas of: Career, contribution, relationship, fun, emotions, finances, spirituality, health, education…love and ask yourself “Am I settling for less?” Be true to yourself in your answers. Please don’t beat yourself up if you don’t like your answers, simply use the information to motivate you to take action for the better. I’m asking you today, even as you read these words, to reject the life of “settling” and start using the most powerful weapon we have create the life we deserve. The powerful weapon I’m referring to is none other than the power of CHOICE. Chose today, decide today, resolve today that you’ll no longer just coast through life and accept whatever is thrown your way. Life is not a rough draft; this is the final copy. Chose living rather than existing. I grew up in a place where life expectancy is at 47 years of age; life a gift, don’t waste another day settling for less!

What is your personal mission statement? What is the “why” behind everything that you do? I learned from my father that in life we can face any how, any when, any where and any who as long as we know WHY! Without purpose as your compass, your goals and action plans may not ultimately fulfill you.

Why get all the way to the top of the ladder only to find out you had it leaning up against the wrong wall? In the words of Brian Tracy, “Decide upon your major definite purpose in life and then organize all your activities around it.” Think about how dolphins swim so effortlessly in the ocean or how gracefully eagles soar in the sky; well, they are in their element! They were made for this! The same is true for people who are aligned with their purpose in life.

So please take time out to reflect on your life and write a “Life Purpose Statement” that will serve as your compass in life. I’ll share mine in hopes to inspire yours:

I exist to uplift humanity’s consciousness and add value in the lives of others through my words, thoughts and deeds.

Action Step: Below are some questions that I use with my coaching clients that I feel can help you discover or uncover your passion(s). So take a few minutes and let the questions below lead you in your own introspection.

1. What do you love to do?
2. When you were a child, what did you dream of becoming and why?
3. What are some of your favorite hobbies?
4. What are you naturally good at?
5. What do your close family and friends tell you that you’re good at?
6. When you find yourself bored with your current job/career, what do
you dream about doing instead?
7. What percentage of your true potential do you feel your present job
demands of you, and how could you increase that number?
8. Think about a time when you made a major impact in someone’s life,
what did you do and how did that make you feel?
9. What were you doing when you felt you were 100 percent at the top
of your game?
10. What is the one thing that people admire the most about you?
11. What do you have that negative people are jealous or envious of?
12. What gift do you naturally possess that other people have to pay
money to learn how to do?
13. If every single job/career/calling in the world paid $20 per hour,
what would you choose to do as a profession?
14. What problems in others are you good at solving?
15. What are some things that grieve or frustrate you the most about
this life and society at large?
16. If you could start in a blockbuster movie, what role would you
play and why?
17. What would you do with your life if you knew that you could not fail?
18. If you had three days to live, what would you do and why?
19. If you had 10 minutes to address the entire world, what would you
talk about and why?
20. At your funeral, what two sentences would you want people to say
about you?

I am forever grateful to my parents for giving me the opportunity to travel and for introducing me to different cultures from a very young age. My mother and father came to the United States in the late sixties, from the Congo, with the mission to pursue their education and create opportunities for their families back home. I was born in Boston, Massachusetts while my Congolese parents were in their post graduate studies in America. Being born in the United States made me an American citizen inside my Congolese family. So right out of the gate, in the genesis of my life, both worlds were at play. Both the African and American cultures began shaping my existence and set the stage for the rich experiences and challenges to come in my life on both sides of the Atlantic. I was about two years of age when my family moved from the United States back to the Democratic Republic of Congo, Africa. There, I will spend the next decade and a half before my first trip back to America in 1993.

Africa: My Roots!
Mother Africa, the land of my ancestors, has raised and nurtured me in becoming who I am today. Growing up back home, I learned the importance and value of family; and yes the old saying is true, it took a village to raise me! Mother Africa taught me to celebrate my culture and heritage. At a very early age, I was taught the value of education, respect for my elders, spirituality, and service to humanity. “He or she that sees the sun before you”, they often told me, “is wiser and deserves the outmost respect and courtesy”. Among the many sayings, this one was used over and over to teach us how paramount respect for elders is. Though I can recall on more than one occasion my “elders” not being so wise or worthy of respect and courtesy; but they got it anyway. See, it mattered not whether I agreed or disagreed with them, I did it respectfully! I learned to think in terms of “we” versus “I”; understanding and appreciating our interdependency as human beings and that no one makes it alone. One cannot fully be human in isolation but rather in harmonious relationship with others and the environment. Many of these life lessons came to me in form of proverbs, sayings, and wisdom-filled stories about humans, nature and animals. These lessons have carried me well into my adult life and in more ways than one, have given me a deeper appreciation for nature and all forms of life therein. I consider myself fortunate to be part of such rich African traditions and to have been shaped by them since childhood. It’s a privilege for me to keep the spirit of this tradition alive, now on a global stage, in sharing some of what I’ve learned, so far, with you. The life lessons I’ve learned from Mother Africa remain prevalent in my life even though I am miles away living in America, my home away from home. I’m inspired to share these lessons for it is evident that wisdom knows no borders; the umbilical cord of humanity connects us all and I wholeheartedly believe that the more we learn from one another, the better our global village will be.

America: My Wings!
After a decade and a half in my beloved Africa, my roots grew and ran deep into the earth, my foundation was strong, and it was now time for me to spread my wings! May 1993, we boarded a British Airways 747 plane leaving out of Zamia, Congo’s southeastern neighbor, made a stop in London, and on to the “Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave”! Our first point of entry into America, fittingly, was the state of New York; home to Ellis Island’s universal symbol for freedom, the Statue of Liberty. Like my parents before me, I too came to America to pursue my education and create opportunities for me and my loved ones. America taught me how to dream big and to believe with conviction that “it is possible” to make your dream come true! I got a feeling of empowerment that sprung from knowing that my individual rights both as a human being and as a citizen are protected, respected, and celebrated! I see America as a promise; a promise that our founding mothers and fathers had made to themselves and to the world; a promise that the American people, coming from all the corners of our planet earth, strive to uphold daily. Freedom, equality, democracy, human rights, freedom of religion, the pursuit of happiness,…these are all universal values; and they have no better champion then the United States of America. I’ve found the people of this great nation to be compassionate, driven, and constantly challenging themselves to live up to the promise that is America! The story of my father, and therefore my family story, is testimony of the best of America and her people. In 1967, with the help of Presbyterian missionaries, my father came to America from the Democratic Republic of Congo. Upon his arrival to the U.S, he was welcomed in by a special American family. Buck and Joni Smith, whom I proudly call “Grandpa Buck and Grandma Joni, opened their hearts and doors to my father and provided him with love and support to accomplish his academic, career and personal goals. Today, 40 plus years later, we are still connected as one family and I consider the Smiths a living example of the great generous spirit that lives in the American people.

Take-Aways
In the past seventeen years since coming to America, I’ve had the great opportunity to travel back and forth between Africa and America on multiple occasions. I joined my father in his significant project to build a school serving underprivileged children in the Congo; started EduCongo, Inc, a US based nonprofit to engage global citizens all over in bringing hope to future generations; Followed my dream to inspire people to live up to their greatness as a Motivational Speaker and Coach; Joined the Portland Pearl Rotary and put “Service above Self”,… I truly feel that I’ve become a better person, a better human being, a better global citizen because of my experiences living on both sides of the Atlantic. I’ve seen and experienced the best and the worse both worlds have to offer in terms of cultural values, traditions and overall way of life. I have accepted the best and continue to reject the worse! As I contrast the two worlds, Africa and America, I do it from a horizontal frame of mind and not a vertical one. There is no top and there is no bottom. Neither world is better than the other, they are simply different in the way they go about the same individual and societal goals. My vision is a world without borders; A world where we can live out the true meaning of “Ubuntu”, the meaning of humanity! Throughout history, the forces of division, fear, ignorance and greed have caused needless human sufferings. In the spirit of collective responsibility and as members of our global village, we’ve all played a role in it. Well in that same spirit, we have the ability and unique opportunity to create a healthier, harmonious and sustainable world not only for us, but for generations to come. A good starting point in crystallizing this grand vision for humanity is to learn about and from one another.

“My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.”
-Desmond Tutu