The other day I saw that familiar red bell indicating that someone has liked or commented. When I checked it, I was completely caught off guard by the post that a former Lou Reads the Internet for You listener left for me. I hope he doesn’t mind me sharing it, because it was kind of a fun and special reminder that even though when you’re making content at my level, it still gets out, and if you’re lucky, it finds an audience. Anyway, here is the comment that was posted on my YouTube channel on a completely unrelated video to the podcast.

TL’DR: Lou Reads inspired one lone fan to delve into the world of psychopharmacopeia and make it their career…

Lou I know this is on a completely unrelated video and totally completely random overall, but I want you to be able to at least get a taste of how the things you’ve done in your life have weird knock on effects that can completely shape other people’s. I listened to Lou Reads the Internet all throughout high school (2013-2017), it taught me a lot of things I wish I didn’t know and I still think of it from time to time. I was a loyal listener, but I hate to tell you I never did leave an iTunes review. Anyways, when I was 16 I listened to one of your episodes reading bluelight, erowid or some old school drug forum and at some point 1P-LSD was mentioned, in the outro you said you had some mild interest in trying it. When you said that, something in me clicked about how weird it was that something like that could just be bought. So I started looking into it myself. Not even interested in taking it, just to understand what it even did and how it was possible that it was something legal. Reading about it just confused me more and so I kept reading, reddit threads, forum posts, trip reports, there would be comparisons to other psychedelics and so I’d read about those too. I’d read and read, eventually branching out to any psychoactive I learned of, deathly and obsessively interested in all aspects. History, culture, use, abuse, preparations, whatever I was totally hooked. And of course eventually I indulged which only served to make this obsession consume my life, but not in the way that you might expect at this point in a story about this topic. Actually being first exposed to these things through the stories on the podcast made me genuinely cautious which meant I only ever started that honeymoon of experimentation after feeling I could do it safely. And I did (thankfully). These years of obsessive reading and research made me as close as you can be to educated on this topic and knowledgeable in the world of psychoactive drugs to the point of an expertise. To the point that I taught myself chemistry. At 27 I am a synthetic chemist doing research into the synthesis and production of new materials needed to make these same types of drugs (and other medicines too, but that’s not as fun to say), literally developing new methods that produce molecules never made before. My work has made it possible to make whole new groups of serotonin receptor agonists sold as chemicals not intended for human consumption of questionable purity from China. Groups of chemicals that wouldn’t be possible for people like the ones that wrote about research chemicals on that forum to ever take if you never read what they said. I’ve done very well for myself in this field and I’ve always been told that it’s due to my passion for the subject shining through. And it’s true I love chemistry. But chemistry is something I only picked up because a borderline autistic fixation with drugs necessitates it after a few years. That fixation has driven me, shaped my entire adult life, gave me my career, made me stay up late studying, and lets me do the work I love. That fixation and love all started with one old goon reading people say stupid things on the internet that I just so happened to hear as a teenager. I’m not saying you made me who I am now because you didn’t. But I am telling you that if that podcast was never made I never would have been exposed to or became interested in this topic I have somehow managed to make my life based around. Not to mention that even if eventually I had dabbled into taking substances for fun anyways, it almost certainly wouldn’t have been done nearly as safely, with as much discretion, or with the knowledge base I had in this timeline. That phenazepam episode scared me. I’m not even really trying to thank you here, I’m pretty acutely aware I put in the work because it was not at all easy. But I do want you to know that stuff you have done in your life has had a tremendous impact on at least my life, even if it was in a weird way. But that probably means it at least did a little something for some other people too. I don’t know what that means to you, but I think it should make you smile. Why? Well why not?

Literally not what I was expecting to find when I went on the internet that day. And yes, it did make me smile. Thanks to everyone who listened and continues to be horribly affected by the forbidden knowledge that was shared. And thanks to this random stranger for sharing the anecdote.

Here is the video, if you want to see a cool shoe gaze band with an unrelated comment under it.

https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/77238520-lou-reads-the-internet-for-you?store_id=670898

The latest episode of The F Plus I sat in on is up. It’s another episode I edited, as well. https://thefpl.us/episode/405

I’m STILL LOOKING FOR WORK…

I’ve been going to a lot of concerts. Check out some of show pictures!

https://www.instagram.com/p/C7YdeFHOTdw/?img_index=1

Thankful to be included in yet another episode of The F Plus. Nice to get to read the stupidity of the internet again when the opportunity arises.

I THINK I have posted most of the old Lou Reads episodes on YouTube now. I should also make a torrent to be shared of all the episodes so people can just download them all in one chunk or something…

Here are some of the last videos I converted! ALL NSFW! Enjoy

In other news, I was on a fairly recent episode of The F Plus. If you’d like to hear me reading about SPLOSHING (smearing food all over yourself for sexual pleasure) then please check it out over here! https://thefpl.us/episode/364

Professionally I haven’t been doing many recordings during the pandemic. Although, I did do another VO for the VR game INTO THE RADIUS.

I have also written for the Apex Legends esports broadcasts.

And finally, I’m still streaming on Twitch and posting the highlights on Tiktok. This remains my current, most consistent creative output. Stop by Twitch.tv/loureads if you’re interested in chatting or watching me play fake baseball! It is fun.

Here are links to the most recent episodes I’ve taken a part in.

BOOBS in RAINGEAR (British Rain Gear Fetishists)

350: The Similar Worlds Project

348: Do Not Summon Beelzebub (How to Become a Living God)

338: Let’s Stick Crystals Up Our Vaginas (Pretty Self-Explanatory)

Beyond that, I’ve been keeping myself busy. I’m working again, freelance part-time but it is something, and that has been very important. I got vaccinated. My oldest son is graduating High School. Basically, a lot going on. I’ve also been streaming myself playing video games on Twitch. For the last month, I’ve been streaming myself playing Super Mega Baseball and doing the play-by-play announcing at the same time. I do that every night at 11pm ET unless something comes up and would love it if you could give me a Follow on Twitch and pop in to say Hi. I have a lot of fun chatting with people, playing baseball, pinball, and other odd games.

I also post the highlights on TikTok!

Finally, I have been posting old Episodes of Lou Reads on YouTube in video form. Currently scheduled to come out once a week through August. So, if you’d like to relive the podcast in video form, please check it out!

Thanks again to everyone who has written and checked up on me over my long unemployment and throughout the pandemic. I hope everyone out there is doing well and coming out this global nightmare in good shape. And finally, I’ll leave you with this thought: GET THE VACCINE. IF YOU HAVEN’T. GET IT. IF YOU ARE DENIER THEN PLEASE SEEK HELP FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS! GET THE VACCINE! IT MAY HELP YOU WITH YOUR MORGELLONS!

In this random return to the podcast, I found a fun little thread on Reddit. Nothing too salacious and some funny stories in this one. Thanks for continuing to listen! If you want to hang out while I play video games please consider following me on Twitch. I hope to record a new episode soon. Thanks for listening!

As you’ll soon hear, this website has a fairly unmodern approach to relationships and that’s the point. Apparently the last 50 years or so have really dinged the whole “Men are leaders of the family” paradigm thingy. Especially because the Devil has encouraged people to live by the creed, “Don’t do stuff if you don’t wanna.” So, let’s say you don’t want your husband to spank you when you’ve been disobedient. Your rejection of his desire to give you a good butt whuppin’ is really the Devil encouraging you to reject your husband’s Biblically mandated right to exercise his dominion over you. See, when you say it like that it just makes sense. I hope you enjoy this long-overdue episode!

So, this month’s episode of Lou Reads revisits the world of men with penises that are smaller than the average. When we last ventured to this topic it was back in the first year of Lou Reads in an unfortunately titled episode, My Tiny Dick Forum of Horrors. Now, Measurection is a forum for men who consider themselves to have below-average length penises to come and share in a community of similarly endowed guys. The forum has been around for over a decade and was even a focus of a Weekend Web posting before I got involved in WW. As always, I have selected a bunch of random threads of interest to read from without comment. I hope you enjoy it. And as the owner of My Tiny Dick wrote in a comment on the episode about their site “You‘d be surprised at how small a penis can be before women really consider it small.”

This time around I didn’t actually read any of the site reviews but I may do so if I ever revisit. I hope this doesn’t give you blue balls… Also, if you get confused by any of the slang in this episode please consult this amazing massage parlour slang guide. You’re gonna need it!

Thanks for listening! Tell your friends! Ask for a magnet!

Everyone has problems with their friends and family. But sometimes it can be too complicated to actual confront them with these problems. Why? Well, maybe because if you did your friend might shoot you! Or maybe your family might also shoot you! Or, you know, maybe they’d just kind of think you’re a jerk or maybe, just maybe, they’d listen and understand that you have a legitimate point about and take it into consideration. Either way, this month’s episode is basically people airing their grievances in a place where their friends are basically never going to see them. That is unless they are part of the Something Awful forums. And let’s face it, these days that is less and less likely. The thread I am reading from started over a decade ago and is over 400 pages long! That’s a lot of complaining! If I learned anything from this episode it’s that there are a lot of people with issues around weed in this world…

Thanks for listening!

This episode was a sort of palette cleanser for me. After doing three mainly gross episodes in a row it was time for some lighter content. I hope you found it entertaining. Thanks for listening! And be sure to follow, subscribe or whatever for all of my various media outlets.

Join the Lou Reads FaceBook Page for frequent posts of Internet nonsense! Follow me on Instagram to see random pictures from my random life! Sometimes I stream on Twitch.tv so follow me there to get updated when I go live. And if you miss me live you can check out the videos on my YouTube Channel. There are probably more but that’s already too many requests than I’m comfortable with!

Thanks for listening and spreading the word friends!

According to some guy in this episode, the following video sparked a life long obsession about masturbating to men’s armpits. See if you can spot any particularly erotic pits! Specifically, Kenny Chesney’s wild underarm action is what drove the gentleman in question wild. Please, try to control your own feverish self-pleasure urges when watching it!

Ok, I was lying. I don’t really hate breasts. Please don’t send me hate mail and pictures of your breasts to let me know how angry you all are at me. Reading this forum was fairly funny because of how almost every thread somehow got around to talking about adult breastfeeding… In the end I decided to just double down on all the ANR talk and accept the concept that there are a lot of people out there who think about drinking mothers milk ALL THE TIME… I hope you enjoy it!

I am planning a small bit of bonus content in a week. Keep your ears posted!

This forum for Lovers of Big Guts is still live on the internet but sadly the community of fat tummy loving guys who used to hang out there appear to have moved on. For now, we can still visit the forums to explore this record of their obsession with and enjoyment of overeating and gaining weight. This isn’t unlike the forums of Fantasy Feeder – A Forum For Fat Ladies and The Guys Who Feed Them. However, where that community focuses on the codependent relationship of feeder and eater, Big Guts focuses mainly on men and their own personal obsession with being overweight. I didn’t actually join this forum so I wasn’t able to see picture in that part of the forum. The avatars I saw in the thread featured a fair amount of naked or near-naked guys with big bellies. I guess what better way to really show off your whole belly? Wherever these men have moved on to you can be certain that most of them are still out there eating too much and rubbing their full bellies with a smile. Also, they probably all have diabetes, but hey…

And remember, sometimes that beer belly you’re so proud of just might be a giant 77 pound tumor.

I am fairly certain that at some point during this episode you will say out loud, “What? Wait… what?” That’s because there is more than a little complete nonsense being discussed here. Yes, I am a doubter. This much is clear! I’m also concerned with so many of the people on this site considering suicide in order to get to this next level of experience! If you’re considering suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Don’t kill yourself because you read on an online forum that the next life is SOOO MUCH BETTER! Amazingly irresponsible… Oh, also the whole “I remember as a baby I was thinking….” thing is so much insane bullshit… I can’t even… A BABY!… sigh…

As promised, here is your unassailable proof of the existence of the life after death. A lawyer who wrote a whole bunch of nonsense about the afterlife!

In this episode I’ll be reading from the Erowid experience vaults. These are anecdotal stories of drug use connected to Erowid’s super informational database about almost every drug. If you’re ever considering doing an illicit or even prescribed drug consider going to Erowid and checking out what it has to say about the compound before you try it. Especially if the drug has a potential for abuse! You’ll be glad you did!

Also, please encourage the legalization of marijuana globally because it should be easier to buy than this Spice garbage… If you are actually thinking about buying K2/Spice/Whatever other name this crap goes by please watch these videos. This drug can only be enjoyed in small amounts but should probably be avoided at all costs. I mean, unless you like screaming in the street, naked. Then go ahead.

Also, if you enjoy drug trips and safe access to a wealth of drug info, consider supporting EROWID!

The world of escorting appears to be less awful from the world of street sex workers. However, every sex worker who trades sex for cash has to have a first time that they did it. That’s what is happening this episode of Lou Reads. I hope you enjoy hearing these stories!

This episode of Lou Reads is your basic confessions post. Always a good time to hear what people feel are the dark secrets in their lives. Of course, some of these secrets are truly awful and as I mention at the end of the episode if you’re considering killing yourself please consider call the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255. If you’re just some weird guy who like’s masturbating at work or once considered boning your cousin then just keep on being yourself, you weirdo.

Also, CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THE SHIRTS!

Cure Zone is a forum for people who are battling a lot of problems. Is it all in their minds? Is society mocking their problems? Do they really have multiple types of parasites attacking them in a way that normal science cannot detect? Well, from reading all these posts I’d have to say… yeah… It’s all in their minds. But that doesn’t stop it from being all too real and troubling for the poor folks who post here.

I hope that you’ll enjoy this episode and that if you do start to feel like maybe you’ve got Morgellons or some other kind of skin parasite maybe take your doctors advice and try the antipsychotics. Also, if you have any serious disease, please realize that drinking your urine as a cure seems like a desperation thing and not a real solution to your problems. But please, take my opinion on this as simply that. I’m just a simple reader of the Internet who hasn’t rubbed any of my own urine on my body. What do I know?

This episode is a departure from the typical grossness and stupidity that I sometimes deal in. There is a lot of head scratching behavior on there, to be sure. But it’s a small glimpse into the world of those, mainly women, who are dealing with a life where revolving door incarceration is the norm. There is no guarantee that they’ll ever actually meet the people they are writing to in person. Or worse that if they do get out of prison there is the chance that they aren’t who they say they are…

I hope you enjoy it.

Also, CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THE SHIRTS!

Now, like many forums I read, this forum is just another example of people who aren’t hurting anyone engaging in a sex hobby they feel passionate about. However, it’s hard not to be grossed out by this act that is so taboo and generally frowned on. Of course there is some modicum (no pun intended) of hypocrisy for being grossed out in a world where pornography is all about women & men being the semen targets. However, the act of self-sucking & the raising cum to a fetishized sacrement… well, I personally had some trouble with queasiness reading it. I hope that you’ll enjoy this episode. I know it may be difficult and in some ways mentally damaging but… Well, I hope you enjoy it if you can keep your food down…

]]> https://loureads.com/2018/03/28/lou-reads-ep173-solo-suck-forums/feed/ 0 Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! full 1:09:29 <iframe width="320" height="24" src="https://loureads.com/?powerpress_embed=2604-podcast&amp;amp;powerpress_player=default" title="Blubrry Podcast Player" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> I&#8217;m not doing myself any favors by reading from the forums of Solo Suck. I knew it would be tough to read and yet, I persisted. Just like Elizabeth Warren! Except instead of standing up to the GOP I stood up to my own stomach and challenged it with some seriously nauseating content. Now, like &#8230; Continue reading "Lou Reads ep173 &#8211; SOLO SUCK FORUMS"I&#8217;m not doing myself any favors by reading from the forums of Solo Suck. I knew it would be tough to read and yet, I persisted. Just like Elizabeth Warren! Except instead of standing up to the GOP I stood up to my own stomach and challenged it with some seriously nauseating content. Now, like &#8230; Continue reading "Lou Reads ep173 &#8211; SOLO SUCK FORUMS"Crackpots, Depressing, Educational, Fetish, NSFW, Sex Stories, Disturbing Audio, People Suck, solosuck https://loureads.com/2018/02/28/lou-reads-ep-172-men-wear-bras-a-support-forum/ https://loureads.com/2018/02/28/lou-reads-ep-172-men-wear-bras-a-support-forum/#comments Thu, 01 Mar 2018 04:27:07 +0000 http://loureads.com/?p=2598 Continue reading "Lou Reads ep 172 – Men Wear Bras – A Support Forum"]]> Hey can you help me with the clasp on this thing? I was so easy to undo when it was on a lady. Seriously, I was a one-hand, no-look, two-finger bra-undo-er. But now that it’s on my body I’m having a hell of a time getting this bra off! Luckily the fellas over at Men Wear Bras is a community of happy to help men who, do in fact, wear bras.

So, yeah, guys wearing bras. Crossdressing is nothing new but it is rare that one hears from the dudes who are out there dealing with their desires to wear over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. I’m still not sure why the domain is so very weird but I guess it does cut down on unwanted attention. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Thanks for listening!

Also, if you want shirts the store is still open until January 23rd. HURRY!

Lastly! If you want to watch the unedited live video of this reading then by all means please enjoy! Be sure to subscribe to see when I’m live again!
Watch Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! – The Human Santapede from loureads on www.twitch.tv

So… I will admit to having been a boxing fan at some point in my life. However, I have to clarify that not once during my watching dudes beat the shit out of each other for money did I ever get an erection. Well, the same can’t be said for many of the men found on Meet Fighters. These men love fighting and being naked and maybe even… just maybe… forcing the loser of their own fights to perform sexual acts. Sound like something you’d like to do? Well then by all means go ahead and check out the site. Not your bag? Well then enjoy listening to the odd topics discussed in this episode of Lou Reads!

Just a warning, this is very long! It’s very stupid but I enjoyed reading it over the two days. You can watch the live reading here if you want to watch it with all my fuck ups & asides.

Watch Alternate Side Talking with King Lou from loureads on www.twitch.tv

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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For those of you in the USA, I hope that this Thanksgiving you make some well thought out decisions regarding your drug use around your family. Maybe try 4 less hits of acid before you sit down for dinner. Or maybe consider holding off on chasing the dragon before you go pick up grandma at the senior center. You know, just for the holidays…

CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THE SHIRTS!

This is a limited time run for these shirts and if we don’t make the minimum order then no one gets charged & no shirts get made. The shirts will be delivered in time for the 2017 holiday season so don’t delay!

So, this months episode is a trip to the pages of Hiccup Forum. As you might have guessed this is forum is exclusively for people who are turned or somehow activated when they see or hear hiccups. There are obvious parallels to the folks from the Sneeze Fetish Forum due to the specific nature of their interest in highly specific body spasms. However, there doesn’t seem to be any crossover. Please enjoy this exploration of the world of folks who get their jollies when a spasm contracts the diaphragm, a large sheet of muscle that separates the chest cavity from the abdominal cavity, causing an intake of breath that is suddenly stopped by the closure of the vocal cords (glottis). HOT!

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I know this is weird but when I come across weird websites on the internet I have this compulsion to share them with strangers in podcast form… Is it normal to do that? No? Oh well…

This month’s episode is all about asking the Internet to validate your weird behavior. Do you have a thing you do but you’re not sure if anyone else does it? Well go to isitnormal.com. The helpful people there will help guide you to the realization that you are a weirdo in no time.

I hope you enjoy it!

So this month’s episode is a reading from the forums of Ashra.net. I was surprised to find that a single spell-caster had her own fairly active forum dedicated almost 100% to discussion about her and how great she is. I was also surprised to discover how many folks out there are willing to spend money on love spells. It’s been a while since I visited the forums of Lucky Mojo and had kind of forgotten about this world of sad people who believe in spells affecting their romantic targets. I mean… they don’t really work… right? Anyway, get ready to hear a lot of praise for this lady! Enjoy.

While I enjoy reading from Fetlife because it is full of all manner of super candid sexual absurdity, it is a very supportive and rational kind of absurdity. If I knew someone was having trouble finding people who want to talk about destroying their tits or wanted to find out where to go to talk about giving women orgasms via throat fucking, well, Fetlife would have to be the first place I’d recommend. Lucky for me I’m rather vanilla so no eating piss soaked dog food in my future. But hey, whatever floats your boat! I hope your enjoy the episode.

The Red Pill, as it turns out is yet another Men Going Their Own Way, man-centric self-improvement-movement that is also supposedly full of ways to trick women into sleeping with dudes. Does it work? You tell me! The scene certainly seems to alway be full of guys who are getting laid and living out their dreams in every way possible. It’s almost like they can’t lose. Like… Never losing. Almost impossibly so… Whatever, best of luck to them! I’ll be over here in the corner waiting for my wife to finish all this cuckolding stuff.

I hope you enjoy listening to this reading from Reddit’s The Red Pill subreddit!

So this months episode is a trip into the forums of sexinfo101.com. It’s the typical kind of place where people ask questions they should have learned the answers to when they were kids. Sadly, thanks to the United States stupid Puritanical fear of sex & pleasure, there are a lot of people out there who are just in the dark. Luckily for them they have a place like Sex Info 101 to help guide them through the mysterious world lurking inside their pants. And, as usual, there are a lot of weird or lost people out there. Join me in exploring the fascinating world of Sex Info 101.

After the traumatic response to last month’s episode I decided to go with a little palette cleanser. Simple stories of crazy stuff happening on planes from the r/AskReddit subreddit. I hope you enjoy it!

This month’s episode of Lou Reads is a visit to the Forums of Skin Pick. Skin Pick is an online resource and community, for people who suffer from Compulsive Skin Picking. They also offer services to help you stop messing with your skin. I didn’t explore the services they sell but I did discover the uncomfortable world of those among us who just can’t leave their bodies alone. Do you think you have parasites in your skin? Are you convinced that your scabs are infested with foreign weirdness? Eat skin you’re peeling off your feet? Well, it sounds like you need a doctor. In the meantime you have Skin Pick.

Whether it’s absent minded picking at your face, belly button or feet… cut it out. It’s clearly a symptom of a disorder you should seek help for. Don’t eat your foot skin. Talk to a therapist. Tough love!

Ok… So… Adult babies meets humilation fetish in a meeting of the oddness. This fits into the Alex Shaw, from School of Movies, fetish danger scale firmly in the “Weird but not harming anyone” category. In theory I understand the concept of baby regression and wanting to be taken care of but I totally do NOT get the whole humiliation thing. Life sucks enough without having to pretend to be an emasculated baby man in a diaper with a cage on your dick and plug up your ass. But as long as you’re doing that at home then go bananas. This may be unkind but I pray this never becomes accepted enough that people do it public. I don’t think I could contain my scorn… I apologize for being judgy but… yeah… Unless it was Trump…

Here is the link to The Something Awful Weekend Web that launched a thousand dirty nappies. I seriously used to look forward to trying to find the dumbest things on every forum I went on. I have to admit I was pretty good at it! *humblebrag*

And here’s a link to the The F Plus episode I mention on the podcast. 63: Achtung! Adult Babies! I seriously recommend listening to the baby talk story. I remember walking down the street laughing with a pained look on my face. So good.

Thanks for listening everyone!

Hey, folks. This month I’m reading from the Let’s Roll Forums. Obviously, that is a reference to the words of the people who fought back against the hijackers on 9/11 and not a reference to them loving Katamari Damacy. The Let’s Roll Forums are a one-stop-shop for all your crockpot conspiracy theories. From 9/11 to Sandy Hook and beyond. No tragedy is so real that it’s above not being real at all. And just like that sentence, none of it makes sense. So, if you like to get worked up into a lather about stuff then this is the place for you! Won’t you please enjoy listening to the heartfelt weirdness of the Let’s Roll Forums.

The weird and wonderful world of escort lovers. I’m sure you’ll all recall when I read from the English escort review site PUNTERNET. Well, I thought it was time that I read about some of the great ladies of the evening from the Great White North. So strap on your headphones and get ready to hear some tales of the amazing & not so amazing sex workers of Canada!

This time around I’m reading from the forums of Drugs and Users. This is a forum that rose from the ashes of the Opiophile forum. You may recall I did a couple of readings from that site before it closed.

Far too many people start using drugs without the proper information they need. Whether it’s information about the addictiveness of certain drugs, the safe use of drugs, or how not to get ripped off, a lot of people have to learn the hard way. Fortunately for the online drug-using community, there are sites like this where people can feel free to share their experiences. Having drugs become your all-encompassing focus in life can make your world very small and these kinds of sites really do serve as a lifeline for a lot of users around the world.

That being said, there is a lot of entertainment value to be gleaned from the casual conversations of people deeply entrenched in their own drug-fueled lives. I hope you enjoy it.

If you’re confused about what I’m talking about when I talk about Juggalos then I recommend that you watch the video below. It is great.

American Juggalo from Sean Dunne on Vimeo.

Don’t forget to register to vote!

I hope you’ll enjoy listening to these discussions from the forums of the Alien Abduction Help. Are these people for real? Well, judging by the responses on this forum that these people believe not only in aliens but a whole host of conspiracies and mystical things. Also, judging by the low amounts of traffic on this website I’d say that the current level of global interest in alien abductions is pretty much zero. As always, thanks for listening! Be sure to rate the show on iTunes & wherever podcasts can be rated!

As mentioned on the episode: THE STORY OF THE ALIENS OF EL YUNQUE

Elder HunbatZ Men meets the Crystal Skull from Brazil

Meditation guide by Bonnie

This episode is all about the wonderful world of the MerMaiding community. I’ll bet you thought it was all about people who wish they were really MerMaids or debate the possibility of there being REAL mermaids in the depths of the ocean. Nope, it’s just some folks talking about dressing up like a half-fish and flopping around in pools. I’ll bet you feel like a real asshole now. Serves you right. Enjoy!

I don’t know if this is a good representation of the kind of posting that happens at the Fark.com forums but it is as close as I’m going to get for the time being. This episode is a collection of mostly fun stories of kids getting injured by or injuring their siblings. If you have a brother or sister (however they present their gender today) you’ll most likely have at least a few similar stories in your mental roladex. I’m sure my brother could make his own podcast about what a complete asshole I was to him growing up. Sigh… Anyway, I hope you enjoy this break from the wretchedness of the episodes of the recent past. I know I needed a break from the awfulness! Next month I’ll be back to the horrors. Until then, enjoy the show!

This episode was a pretty entertaining silliness. My own story of shower pooping (a complete accident) was part of a time in my life when I had constant irritable bowel syndrome issues. I won’t go into details but it was gross… Anyway, I hope you enjoy the episode. Ironically, I’m stuck home editing this because I have some kind of super terrible stomach flu! Blehhh.

Now watch this video. It is the best.

What is the deal with 1p-LSD? Anyway, I always enjoy reading the stories of peoples silly (scary) adventures in altered states. Most of these are not THAT bad but they are still entertaining. I hope you find them so.

If you understood any of that then you’re probably a pick-up artist. Congrats! If not well I hope you’re ready to learn all about this interesting dating system developed at Manwhore.org. Generally, this website is yet another Pick Up Artist (PUA) system with the difference being that it focuses around using texting to get girls to give you a shot. At least thats what I got from it in my brief experience there. Does it work? I have no idea. But in this episode of Lou Reads you’ll hear the trials & triumphs of the users of this Manwhore system. I hope you enjoy it.

Not much to be said about this episode. It’s basically people submitting stories about every kind of supposed naughty thing you can confess about it. Is any of it real? I’ll leave that distinction up to you for mine is not to judge but rather to read.

Thanks for listening to another stupid year of the the Internet being read for YOU! I sincerely appreciate it. See you in 2016!!!

There are a lot of sources for information about shoplifting and I’m very proud you chose to come here to learn. Why, by following the advice in this episode of the podcast you should have a nice little crime record. Don’t get me wrong. You’ll also have some stolen clothes. It’s totally worth going to all the trouble to steal all your clothes. Yup. Not being sarcastic. Nope.

Thanks for listening and please be sure to rate the show wherever shows can be rated!

Hugs & kisses,
Lou

Circumcision is a controversial topic. For me it’s a Star-Bellied Sneeches thing. “They have extra skin on thars!” If you didn’t know about foreskin would you miss it? Well, these guys would and they do. On the other hand the reasons for circumcision are really amazingly stupid. Mainly because they are based on religious nonsense and outdated medical knowledge. If God told you to kill someone because they believed in a different religion than you would you? Never mind.

I hope you enjoy this episode. Whatever you do don’t let someone you cut you off mid-podcast.

I’m a dad. This topic is close to my heart because giving my kids a hard time in a fun & friendly way is one of the funnest things I get to do on a daily basis. In this episode of Lou Reads I once again delved back into the posts of Reddit to find tales of dads trolling. I hope you enjoy listening to these stories shared by the victims of fatherly mind-fuckery as much as I enjoyed reading them.

Well, here we are again. Exploring the marvels of human sexuality. Todays topic is balloon fetishists. AKA: Looners. It’s sad to think that our pre-inflatable forefathers never were able to get their rocks off by squashing a balloon with their butts or high heels until pop. Why, what kind of greater nation could have been build if they only knew what they were missing. Well, thanks to these brave true-believers who squash, pop, jump on and general just break balloons we don’t have to worry. I’m sure George Washington is looking down from that slave plantation he owned in the sky to say “Hot damn! I wish I could pop me one of them there b-loons! That looks like a fucking hot ass time!” Or at least that is what I like to think.

Well, I hope you enjoy this episode. It was recorded a gift in June 2015 and I share it with you now. Be sure to rate Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! on iTunes, etc. Thanks!

This episode of Lou Reads is all about the wonderful world of swinging. Swinging is a mysterious world of polyamory & thrills among consenting adult. If your relationship is strong enough to endure watching your partner be pleased by another person well then good for you. Sadly, this kind of messing around is frowned upon by polite society. I say “sadly” because I really want to bone your wife. Anyway, I hope you enjoy listening to all of this Swingers nonsense and let me know if your wife is DTF. Oh yeah, my wife is not into this scene so don’t mention this to her…

Uk Punting is a website for the many men in the UK who frequent prostitutes. It’s a safe place for them to get together to share their experiences with the same prostitutes & call girls that they are all fucking. Of course it is great that there is a place you can go and read up on and rate all the hookers in your area. An informed customer is a happy customer. Especially when it comes to fucking random ladies for money. I hope you enjoy this punt-cast.

Below is a book actually written by the owner of UK Punting! Guess which one it is!

So this episode is all about the great idea of drinking cough syrup to trip. Aka “Robo-Tripping.” I know, it sounds like a great idea. Well, listen for yourself and decide if you’re missing out. And if you do your local pharmacy is just down the street just sitting there chok’ful of liquid tripping just waiting for you! Go on, now… CHUG!

Well, if this scenario sounds familiar you are probably already a fan of The Burp Fetish Forum. It’s a small community of people with a very particular fetish revolving around the expulsion of air from either mouth or butt. Why? No one seems to be able to really put it into words that I could find. Regardless, they like a nice belch or fart and I guess there isn’t anything wrong with that. Do I care for it? No, sir. I have enough personal issues with gas in my life to worry about someone getting a boner when air escapes my various orafices. The only thing I like coming out of my mouth is the words of the stupid internet.

Enjoy!

Honestly, it’s hard to discuss this episode. I mean without just outright talking about African American sex organs and the white women, and apparently men, who are craving to be stretched to the limit by them. Now, we could spend time discussing the fetishes of humiliation, or all the articles about penis size that seem to come out constantly, or the whole cuckold thing versus couples that have open relationships, etc. I mean, while this episode is mainly about what is known in the vernacular as BBC it doesn’t just only talk about that. It explores such topics as “Why white women like to have unprotected sex?” and “Why white men like to fellate BBC?”

I know you can’t get enough of this horrible nonsense. Here, buy some awful cuckold erotica!

If you found yourself excitedly leaping about and getting ready to lick a boot then do I have a fetish for you! Please, allow me to introduce you to the world of Human Pups. This is a subculture of mostly gay men who are into the BDSM scene and like to role play as dogs. The type of roleplay is as varied as the types of dogs in the world (This may be an exaggeration.) But, mainly it’s about acting like a dog for a thrill and humiliation (Which is somehow freeing.) Is it something silly and childlike taken to an absurd length? No doubt.

But how serious is this fetish? Serious enough to have a 10 year history & international contest. Ok, so maybe it’s older than that (I’m sure it is. I’m just not going to look.) Who cares. I just hope you enjoy my reading from the world of human pups. Please just remember one thing: You can’t just feed your human pups actual dog food. It’s not good for them. They need people food. Table scraps are probably ok.

I don’t even know if it is okay for me to say “Enjoy” this episode because its just depressing… I guess I hope you enjoy it. A lot of the stories in this episode are long and will make you feel bad… Remember the time that you didn’t get a toy you wanted and you were sad and mad at your parents for it? Listen to this episode and give your parents a high five for not completely fucking you up.

Enjoy?

As you’ll soon hear, if you choose to proceed, this forum is a mix of adult baby behavior focused mainly on the soiling of things. So, no baby talk but plenty of talk about wetting, pooping and other nonsense. I hope you enjoy it. I found it particularly absurd.

Also, not directly related, while I was looking for images for this episode I discovered this horrifying episode of MY STRANGE ADDICTION about a woman who sucks urine soaked baby diapers… I defy you to watch with cringing.

Do not have food before watching that… Thanks for listening to LOU READS! Please remember to write review on iTunes!

Hey there, thanks a ton for listening to Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! I truly hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoy recording & laboriously editing each one. So, I say again, thank you from the bottom of my internet weakened heart. Keep listening!

Don’t know what VORE is? Well, now you do! VORE

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode. As I hope you enjoy every single episode… I know. It’s too much to ask…

Opiophile is a safe haven for users, abusers & survivors of the dope game where they can come together and discuss everything from their local drug scene, harm reduction and the day to day issues of being a slave to the poppy in it’s numerous forms. Many forums have sections dedicated to heroin and the like but Opiophile is pretty much the only forum I know dedicated to opiates and once again proved to be a very interesting and informative read. I hope you enjoy it.

Other Heroin related sites you may find interesting.

DequinxyJinxie (RIP) – Heroin Glassine Bag Art & Product Review

That Guy’s on Heroin – Street reports and unflattering photos of people nodding (or worse) in public. Focused mainly on junies in Baltimore but also takes submissions from around the world.

HBO’s documentary – Black Tar Heroin: The Dark End of the Street

Terms used in this episode that may require explanation:

1) Waifu
2) Brony
3) Weeabo
4) Clop
5) Ship

And many more…. Please enjoy the podcast & this wonderful selection of Japanese body pillows for you to consider marrying in the future.

So this episode is about the worldful world of gutterpunks, crusties, hobos, bums or whatever you want to call this nations wandering house-less people. It is amazing, and yet unsurprising, that the homeless have such ready access to the site known as Squat The Planet. But just because they are roaming the world rudderless doesn’t mean they don’t want to have a place to have stupid discussions and share their best criminal practices! Won’t you please enjoy this sampling of nonsense from the pages of StP.

Sadly, I am not so obsessed with the world of pornography to know who the people I read about were (for the most part.) Luckily for us the guys and gals who do hang out at Brazzers Forum feel perfectly at home chatting about their favorite porn moments. I do admire the actors availability to the people posting there. It’s kind of sweet thinking about a porn star reading a fans email about how awesome he is at fucking and the porn star writing back,  “Aw shucks. Thanks little guy. I’m glad I made your day. Keep jerkin’ it to the video of my strangely massive dong. Yours truely, XXX INSERT NAME HERE XXX.”

Enjoy the show!

That image joke will make more sense if you listen to the episode. Also, don’t play Tomb of Horrors. Even if you win you’ll probably die in the end.

Ah, the shame of being a virgin. That awful secret that you haven’t gotten some dummy to let you put your penis in them or given up the nappy dug-out to some chump on a camping trip. What a super awful time in life! Well, that is unless you’re super proud of your choice to not have fun teenage sex, like the people at Virgin-Forum.com. This is a site for people who are virgins, and sometimes not, to get together and talk about their virginity or lack there-of.

Thanks for listening! I hope you enjoy it as much as you enjoy all that post virginity sex you’re all having.

This podcast is going to make you laugh and probably make you a little uncomfortable. Or it might just make you feel sad. It’s unlikely to make you feel horny… unless you actually hang out at Raw Top’s Breeding Zone (Do I have to say it’s NSFW?). Anyway, Its been almost 4 years since I read from The Breeding Zone and thank the Lord, the posters there have not gotten any less graphically horrible about what they are into/doing. As always with topics beyond the pale, if it helps you sleep at night, I’ll allow you to reserve the right to believe the more crazy things are pure fiction. But… yeah… ENJOY?

Oh yeah, I’d like to thank The Breeding Zone for always wishing me a happy birthday!

This episode is all about people who are concerned about their right to carry a firearm. So lock the 6 locks on your bedroom door, get inside your safe room and press play. It will all make sense. I promise.

This episode is drawn straight from the Comedy Goldmine threads from the Something Awful archives. It features en-edited confessions that were sent in anonymously by the members of the Something Awful forums. I hope you enjoy it. The titles pretty much says it all!

On and by the way….

I hope you enjoy it. You may enjoy it more if you are on drugs.

Anyway, please enjoy this episode if you can. It’s full of some pretty intensely crazy… stuff. Thanks for listening!

Hey, 2013 is over! The holiday season is over! What better time than now to look back at the experiences of the retail workers who had to deal with insane shoppers on Black Friday! Ok, I agree. Anytime would have been fine. I picked now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!! Here’s hoping to another year full of internet bizarreness and other related silly pursuits!

If you’re interested you can find the original Reddit thread here.

Thanks for listening!

People like to have sex because it fun. But sex with a famous person is so much better, right? Well, the people in these stories proudly claim to have been with famous people, in a biblical way. Or at least they claim to know a person who knows a person…. Well, all that matters is they shared stories. You can choose to believe them or not. I believe everything I read about John Mayer. Enjoy.

This episode is chok’ful of true stories related by the EMS workers of the Something Awful forums. I think that speaks enough for itself. I hope you enjoy it.

Sincerely,
Lou

Hey everyone, about a month or so ago I was interviewed by Alex Shaw for the Digital Gonzo podcast. We discuss the origin of the podcast and all manner of topics. I had a great time doing it so if you’re interested in a casual chat with me then give’r a listen!

Blog post with description -> HERE
Direct Download -> HERE

Well, sorry if I’m wrong about the whole demon-sex thing being really, really, really silly. Because basically if its true, you’re all doomed to constant filthy, ghost sleep-rape just from listening to my podcast… You’re welcome? *shrug*

Funny to hear the difference in the quality of the podcast! Thanks to Matt DeCostanza

So this episode I went to the forums of the Pattaya Ladyboys Forum. It’s a place where men who love woMEN from all of the globe get together to talk about their unusual obsession. I’ll admit that in reading this forum I saw A LOT of naked ladyboys. You know what? Some of them really look like chicks until your eyes wander low enough to see their big old dongs. If you are into that… I guess I’m glad there is a place for you go and talk to other weirds about it. No judgements… (weird).

The latest episode of Lou Reads is out and its true stories about weird encounters at hotels. So if you’ve ever taken a shit in the garbage can next to the toilet while staying at a hotel then this is going to be run of the mill stuff for you. If not, then clutch your pearls because there are some pretty odd tales in this episode. Please enjoy them!

Ok, so this is a forum where people who are titillated by exposing their junk to unwitting people. Is it sad? Yeah. Are they hurting anyone with their surprise dong exposures? Not physically… but mentally, probably. Well, whatever you think about these unwanted dong viewings this forum serves as a place for guys (and according to the site, girls) to get together and share tips & tricks on how to trick people into seeing their tips… get it? Oh boy, I am way to proud of that joke… Anyway, without further ado, won’t you please enjoy episode 108 of Lou Reads the Internet for you!

doodie.com

My only caveat to this episode is that some of peoples stories actually seem like poop stories that they are really proud of. I guess maybe they were non-optimal pooping places but they come off kind of braggy… Whatever. If you’re interesting in reading all 6000+ posts about poop please feel free to check it out here.

Reddit, what is the worst place that you have taken a shit?

So this episode I read from a forum called Fantasy Feeder. Its a site that revels the in joys of obesity. How refreshing in this age of soda bans & “healthy” eating to find a site where people dream of weighing so much they are immobile. What luxury! Of course on the other hand these people have some bizarro ideas of whats sexy which is what fetishes are all about. So open that bag of Cool Ranch Tacos from Taco Bell and grab another milk shake and start your way down the path to super sexy flab!

To be fair this is only one of the many websites the cannibal cop went to but I’m sure you’ll agree this one is enough for now… Right? I’m not sure if enjoy is the right thing to say here… Good luck!

Sooo…. yeah. Fisting… get ready to bear down and take it all deep in your ear holes. Whatever… ENJOY!

I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! It was hard to pick what to read from here because it was so full of interesting takes on the world. I hope for our sake these guys are really, really completely wrong about the world. Still, part of me hopes they’re right just because they are obviously really, really hoping things fall apart. I’m sure it would feel great to be SO right about things… once.

Well, as you might imagine this argument devolves into bickering and nonsense but I thought it was amusing enough to read. Sadly no ones questions really get answered. Are Freemasons a harmless club or Luciferian based cabal? Can you fight demons by typing words into your keyboard? How can that one lady stop the demons from making her cough? Demons, I condemn thee with this bottle of Robotussin DM!

Enjoy!

As promised here is that video that was linked in the original post.

I hope you enjoy it more than a glassful of urine a “friend” may be sneaking into your drinks.

You can download the whole collection of 87 songs here

And remember if you haven’t finished your holiday shopping & you’re planning on buying stuff at Amazon you can help Lou Reads out by shopping via THIS HANDY LINK! Thank you!

If you want to hear all the Something Awful Christmas music ever made then check out  https://saxmas.robotcousin.com/

So here we are at the big 100. *Shrug* I hope you enjoyed it! This forum is great because for such a silly product it has some really friendly and enthusiastic customers. I recall when Something Awful discovered Bad Dragon the owner joined SA to talk to people and actually was soliciting the forum members for dildo designs before being banned. Seemed nice enough. You know, for a guy who earns a living making fantasy dildos. Who am I to judge. Who says I am? I’m just reading here. Get off my case.

Oh by the way, here is the baby jesus dildo I mentioned in the epilogue. And here is the magic health tea. It really did help.

A listener told me they actually met the author of this story in person at some Brony meet-up… I don’t recall if they told them I had read it online but whoa! Small world.

I sincerely hope you enjoy this episode and that it doesn’t make you want to try Crystal Meth. Because as glamorous as it is, I just don’t think you have what it takes to be that cool. Wait… You are totally cool enough! Go for it!

HEY WHILE YOU’RE HERE! Consider these awesome Crystal Meth related Holiday Gifts!

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as its humanly possible to enjoy such a thing.

If you want a recording for your friends birthday please let me know! More full length episodes coming soon!

Look, I know this topic is probably going to split my listenership into two groups. Those who love animals and those who love animals for their hot wet love holes. Well, now that you’re in your two separate groups I expect you to fight to the death! Well, maybe before you do that you should listen to this episode of the podcast. You may come away from this one coming to terms with your deeply buried need to bury your needs into your companion animals. (I know… it’s gross…)

As promised here is a link to the original blog post.

As far as silliness on the internet goes this forum is pretty tame. That doesn’t stop it from being very very silly.

to quote my original post

It involves the delightful story of a brother and sister who decide to have babies together and all the details of how they went about it. Its really… special?

Enjoy?

Bonus content. Here is a picture of me working at PAX!

No, not at my local movie theater, anyway. I go to this big theater in NYC and its a horrorshow. Imagine how delighted I was to find a large repository of pretty funny and, quite honestly, pretty racist comments about the place on Yelp. Anyway, I hope you enjoy listening to me read the angry rantings of the patrons of the Court Street 12. Somehow that place is still always packed! Sigh…

A lot of people have asked me to read from The Doll Forum and I put it off for a while but I felt I’d finally give it a shot. There really is a massive wealth of readable material. I hope you enjoy what I found. It was fun to read.

I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! Let me know how I’m doing with a comment in iTunes, Facebook or with the comment form below. Thanks!

Now, I’m sure most of you out there are already giving yourself enemas on a daily basis so this will seem boring to you. However, for the uninitiated few I’m sure this will be an eye-opening adventure down a path less travelled. Join me, please, as I guide you through the delights of Enemaplease.com

BONUS: Here is the video I made in college about a guy killing people in a hospital. WARNING! THIS VIDEO IS REALLY DUMB!

Yes that is me with the cycling cap. The early 90’s were horrible.

The first two are from a great story entitled “I <3 Lou Reads the Internet or The Great Magnet Adventure“. Check out the amazing trip that magnet went on!

The last magnet belongs to a fan whose boyfriend bought a person birthday reading for her and got a magnet bonus, too! Keep those magnet pictures coming!

Well, I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads. Please try not to OD while listening to it. I’d hate to come home and find you like this unfortunate girl. THANKS!

Now, you may find it odd that some people considered these events to be the worst things they have ever done. Especially considering that this is posted in a drug use forum. I mean, someone of them are just kids being kids. On the other hand some of these stories are fucked up! Such is the internet. People just gotta share and for that I thank them. Bless your stereotypically described Cheetos-stained fingers.

UNRELATED BONUS AUDIO.
A friend-of-a-fan commissioned this reading for said fan’s birthday. It was a fun little read and I thought I’d share it with you, too. Of course I waited until the birthday was over. Didn’t want to ruin the surprise after all!

In happier news the podcast as a new sponsor. SMOKEWIRE.COM is a online headshop that is offering listeners of the podcast 15% Off anything in the store thru June 20th, 2012. Just Use the code poca420 when you check out. It’s almost 420! If you don’t have a nice smoking piece then perhaps now is the time to get one!

Also a reminder that Adam & Eve are still offering Lou Reads listeners 50% Off the most expensive item in their cart when they check out using the code:LOUREADS. Its the same great offer. Three free adult DVDs, a Free Gift & Free Shipping plus that heavy discount on almost everything in the store!

Support Lou Reads and get yourself a nice bong & dildo combo in one fell swoop! Let me tell you, my mom is so proud of that sentence…

Have a great rest of your day, folks!

USE CODE: “LOUREADS” at CHECK OUT TO SAVE!

If you’re wondering… I gave the shirts in the video away at the show.

USE CODE: “LOUREADS” at CHECK OUT TO SAVE!

If you’re in New York please come on down to the Peoples Improv Theater 123 E24th Street Downstairs Theater. I’ll be reading some old favorite internet finds as well as new horrible stuff! I’ll also be showing a video and reading some really stupid stuff with guest readers Dyna Moe & Nate Starkey! On top of that I’ll be giving away posters and other podcast related materials!

Plus I’ll be celebrating my birthday after the show upstairs @ the theater bar! How can you pass it up!?

New episode will be up after the live show video pops up. So watch the blog or the Facebook Page for updates!

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Don’t worry, though. According to this forum, vampires aren’t really trying to kill you. They are just born with some kind of unexplained deficiency that can only be helped by leeching energy from humans. Some of them need blood. But don’t worry, they don’t bite you for it. Apparently they ask you for it and they have to make sure you don’t have ant diseases first. Energy vamps appear to just sort of drain you and apparently, even if there were like 20 of them, all draining you at the same time, it still wouldn’t kill you. So… yeah. Anyway… this episode is about these people so get ready to learn more than you ever wanted to about this nonsense.

ALSO RELEVANT! As it so happens this weeks Comedy Bang Bang featured a poem about vampires.

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USE CODE: “LOUREADS” at CHECK OUT TO SAVE!

Just made this video version of the first 10 minutes of Episode 84 of Lou Reads. Still amazingly dumb. Kind of wondering if YouTube will allow this to stay up… I guess we’ll see.

I know this episode will seem short but let me tell you that recording it felt like it took forever. Not sure why. Anyway, this time around I’m reading peoples tales of what they consider to be Soul Crushing times in their lives. Some of these stories you’ll probably say, “Seriously? That crushed you? Get a life!” but I’ll bet some of them make you go, “Ugh… how awful…” Unless you are an emotionless automaton… You aren’t… are you?

To see the original thread on the Something Awful forums please go here: Cuts Like a Knife: Soul-Crushing Things People Have Said To You

I apologize in advance for the incredibly annoying fuzzed out sound in this episode. Once again my recording was plagued with tech problems. My brand new Yeti Pro mic by Blue Microphones appears to have shit the bed and made this episodes fuzzed out sound. So it looks like I’ll be sending it back… Really a bummer. I hope it isn’t too hard to listen to… I’m actually really bummed about it. I won’t say it was soul crushing moment though. That’s a bit much.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. Sure, its no Fetlife but really, what is… I know its not the grossest but I actually enjoyed how not over-the-top gross Orgasmanic was compared to some of the horrible stuff I’ve read. Not to say that the topics aren’t gross or dumb at times. Its always amazing to see like minded people gleefully sharing their stories that in “polite society” would have people covering their ears in disgust. But then again there you are having it read straight into your ears! I guess thats says a lot about you!!! … and me… *Sob*

Anyway, I hope enjoy this episode. Hopefully next time I’ll have a lot less technical problems!

As you may remember over the holidays I offered to record things for you, the fans. In the past people have asked for voicemail or answering machine messages and I’ve been happy to record them. This last holiday season I did a lot of great recordings for people. One request, however, stood out from the rest. A gentleman contacted me about reading some stories for his wife. He and his wife are both big fans of the podcast so he thought it would be great for me to record the stories he would normally make up for his wife before she went to bed. The stories revolve around his wife’s beloved cats, Mr. Mo Mo & Dr. Norman P Nibbles. In all he had me read 5-6 stories about the wacky antics of the furry duo. I asked him if I could share them with the rest of the Lou Reads fans and he said yes! The recordings, as you might imagine, were a total surprise on Christmas Day. They were apparently also a big hit! Hooray! A Christmas Miracle!!!

So, since I just lost a ton of my last recording to yet another crash, I thought I’d share just one of the tales of Mr. Mo Mo & Dr. Norman with you fine folks. So without further ado I present:

The Time Dr. Normal P. Nibbles Pimped out Mr. Mo Mo.

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Meanwhile I’m recording again tonight. When you listen to the next episode keep in mind that I had to re-read a bunch of this junk. Bleh.

Lou Reads podcast is not responsible for any demons you may invite into your lives by listening to this podcast. Any hauntings, spookings or phantasasmings that may occur post-listening are totally not my fault and are probably a coincidence…

Ok, The Unexplained Mysteries Forum was an interesting place to read from. Why? Because there seem to be just as many rational people on the forum as there are kooks. So instead of the usual “Full Buy In” user who adamantly believes what most people are posting there seems to be a healthy amount of skepticism going on which made it fun to read, too.

As promised here are the haunted voice mails that are mentioned near the end of the podcast.

DID YOU SEE ME? This is the one where he claims that people when he wasn’t in the house himself saw an apparition. Then a voicemail was left saying “Did you see me?” SPOOKY!!! Or not…

There are too many to post on the blog but if you want to scare yourself bored please go ahead and listen to this nonsense that Para2011 posted on his Soundcloud page.

Thanks for listening! I hope you didn’t get too scared by the all the mysteries!

Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this episode! More soon! Happy new year!

Thanks to the over-sharing members of the mighty Reddit for sharing their stories in this thread in AskReddit. I would like to commission a study on the apparent high frequency of  three-way sexual encounters and internet use. Are young people having more three-way sex because of the internet? Are internet users more likely to have menage-a-trois? Will they let me watch them? Don’t worry. This is all on the up and up. You know… for science… Yes… Thats why I want to know about it… for science…

I’ll say that I’ve only been in one of these porn like situations once or twice. Sadly, none of them ever came to fruition. One time, I had 2 sisters let me choose between which one I wanted to go to sleep with. I ened up choosing neither because I am a loser… I’m so sad now. I’m a good person… when do I get my IRL porn situation… This world is unfair…

I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! Please tell everyone you know about it!

igotstiffed.com

I didn’t mean for this episode to get totally taken over by this whole race issue but wow! There is a lot of comments on this topic. I barely scratched the surface!

EXTRASODE! Originally I was going to read from this Pissed Off Waiters thread from Tribe.net but it was basically dead. I did managed to find some fun stuff to read from it. ENJOY!
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Finally, the new Magnets have shipped! Order now!!!

Here are some examples of recordings I’ve made in the past. Please note: I’ve gotten a lot better at audio production so the audio will sound better than these.

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Upload MP3s using free MP3 hosting from Tindeck.

Upload MP3s using free MP3 hosting from Tindeck.

Fetlife is an online community of people from all over the world who get together to discuss, among some topics, how much they like consuming feces and the finer points of crazy gluing a submissive slaves penis to his leg.

My attention was drawn to this fantastic nonsense by the fine folks at Something Awful who featured it in a front page article entitled “Beating a Man in a Trash Bag and Other True Stories from FetLife.com.” Do yourself a favor and check out that hilarious piece.

Anyway, please enjoy this well overdue episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! Its gross!

Love,
Lou

You asked for it and you got it! More tales of illegal drug adventures from the Vaults of Erowid. I hope you enjoy them! I seriously hope after listening to this harm-reduction podcast that you will think twice about not-inviting me to your drug binge parties.

Also won’t you please enjoy this:
HUFFING DUSTER EXTRASODE

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So this episode is all about the lofty goal of penis enlargement. Hooray. I hope that you’ll all start Jelqing and Edging your way to super dongs in no time.

Enjoy the madness!

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Ok! New episode coming this week!

Just checked the Advance Ticket sales for the show. 5 brave people have pre-bought their $5 tickets to this life changing event! I assuming the rest of your are just going to roll the dice and push through the throng. I predict a bloodbath.

As an extra enticement the next episode of Lou Reads will be recorded based on a poll decided by the audience of the live show! Come cast your vote to make me read something truly amazing/awful/racist or something… mysterious!

Also I will probably be giving out posters and perhaps even hand-made adult magnets! Depends on how cool I think you are… I’m a pretty tough judge on coolness. Tough but fair.

Alright new episode coming soon. I promise!!!

It promises to be a very weird night! I’ve done tons of improv and sketch comedy but reading weird shit in front of people is going to be a new one on me! If you are have something you really want me to read and talk about please chime in at loureads-at-gmail-dot-youknow or fill in the contact page thingy.

Well, you probably get the idea of this episode. It’s all kinds of confessions. I was originally going to split the episode between two different confession sites but as it turned out, one was enough. Real stories? People wasting time on the intertubes? I read. You decide.

As promised here is this episodes EXTRASODE: HOW THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE SAVED MY SOUL BUT ALSO MADE ME WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH TWO FORTY YEAR OLDS.

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Okay, my debt is paid. Back to the beach. I am on vacation after all…

Watch it FULL SCREEN to get the TRUE HD POWER!!!

So this forum is for people who believe hardcore in the paranormal and hidden world. We’re talking spells. We’re talking spirits. We’re talking black magicks. The whole kit’n’kaboddle. So please imagine me in a healing glow and pray a special pray (with special double luck candle) for me as I delve into the forums of Creepy Hollows

EXTRA BONUS CONTENTAROONY!


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Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to share Lou Reads with everyone you know!

Everyone gets dumped. If you haven’t been dumped its either because you’re some kind of insecure jerk who always dumps people before they dump you or you’re some kind of unwanted gross person who no one wanted in the first place. WHY ARE YOU SO GROSS!? If you’re not one of those equally awful things then chances are you’ve been dumped. This episode of Lou Reads deals with true break-up stories. Sometimes its been a painless event and for the best. Other times its been a full on nightmare comprised of vengeance, pain and general hurting. Won’t you join me in marveling at the intricate dance between men and women as they end their relationships.

Sorry, no bonus content this episode. Next time, I swear…
please don’t break up with me!!!!

New episode is mostly done so keep an eye out for that in the next few days.

Lou Reads from the PeeSearch Forums.

Lou Reads Salvia Trip Reports.

In other news it looks like Lou Reads will be appearing on RedditRadio’s talk channel in the very near future. Due to that I’ll be needing to change the intro music. Try not to be too jarred by the music change!

New, not-old-episode-made-into-a-video, coming up soon!

Images related to the podcast! Can you tell which story they are from?

Thanks to listener John Jackson for showing me the SA thread about Reddit to help me get started and find some good stuff!

Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads and as promised, your bonus content. It involves the delightful story of a brother and sister who decide to have babies together and all the details of how they went about it. Its really… special?

Finally, please take some time and visit Lou Reads Official Sponsor Adam & Eve. Thy have a ton of amazing deals on great sex toys, movies and more. Use the code LOUREADS when you check out and you’ll save 50% off almost any item! Three Free Adult Movies DVD a Free Gift and Free Shipping! Check’em out!

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Super finally: The band BATTLES put some of my videos in their YOUTUBE PLAYLIST. Big ups to BATTLES for exposing their fans to my videos. Now if I can only talk them into letting me read for them live to open their shows!

I won’t belabor the point. This episode is gross! I hope you find the strength to make it to the end and I apologize in advance if it makes you vomit. This episode is so that I recommend not eating while listening.

As promised, here is the extra gross Extra Content!
First, the photo that made me cry for my brain…

And second, the extra readings from the forum… Enjoy… if that’s the right word for what is happening here… I am no longer sure…

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This weeks episode is all about lovers of arachnids and arthropods who weave their posts on the Arachnoboards. I apologize in advance for its length. I was caught in the trap of the dreaded Podcast Spider!

Worth 48 Hours of Searing Pain, Fershur!

Sorry… thats a face (is it a face?) only a mama ‘pede could love!

Well, good luck with this episode of Lou Reads. It’s all crazy gang talk. I’m not exaggerating when I say this was a hard one to read. Not because of the contents offensiveness but just because the slang and spelling were so crazy that I kept tripping up. I hope it you enjoy it! If you do, you can join my gang!

Editorial note: There are no recipes on the site unless you count the recipe for Sugar Butt… You’ll know what I am talking out soon enough…

Anyway, so there are a lot of these forums out in sigh-berspace but I chose this one for no particular reason. Its full of the usual nonsense that you find on the White Power sites. Especially sad is their constant pining for the “good old days” which are invariably the 1950’s & 60’s. Equally sad is the seemingly endless amount this junk is driven by religious dogma and just the same flailing to hold onto a bygone way of life. All this culminates in the most delicious nonsensical rage possible.

Enough dissecting this nonsense. Won’t you please enjoy Lou Reads the Forums of Tea Party Nation…

Bonus material: I had to join this horrible Tea Party site for the next episode of my podcast. This lady sent me a video with the following message:

I’m new to TPN so I thought I would start trying to get to know like-minded folks on here. A friend of mine, who’s a comedienne, and I are “underground” Conservatives in Hollywood…that can be a real treat as I’m sure you can imagine! Nice to e-meet you! If you’re on Facebook as well, check out The Right View Undercover and if you’d like to have a laugh, here’s our video we shot at a Union march/rally downtown LA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyGm9tHBf1w

I defy you to have a laugh at anything in this video… All the classic reasons why Conservative humor falls flat.

See, its not all bad! These people like birthdays, too. Sure, they may like to celebrate your birthday with some kind of neutering or hardcore bareback act but I’m sure you’d get a cake with a candle on it at the end.

New episode being recorded this week. It promises to be depressing!

UPDATE: My site was hacked. According to http://sitecheck.sucuri.net/

Malware entry: MW:DEFACED:01

Description:
Site got defaced (hacked with the web page modified).
Generally done for fun, political reasons and by script kiddies.

Affecting: Any web site (no specific target).

More later…

To make up for it please enjoy this video I made of an early Lou Reads episode. I posted this on the Facebook page and the twitter but I realized that some people refuse to use social media. Don’t you want to know what I’m eating for lunch? You’re so weird! Anyway, have a look at this. It’s funny.

As you’ll find out in the podcast there are quite a few people who are crazy about this cartoon! And as promised I found a horrible post to read for you guys from one of the other forums. Warning: This story is really a downer on many levels. However it does involve in a very odd way. I don’t know if “Enjoy” is the right term… but its all I got. ENJOY!

Thanks for stopping by the blog! Make sure your rate the show on iTunes and tell everyone you know that they need to hear all about the stuff they didn’t want to know about. It builds character!

Won’t you please enjoy listening to Episode 67 of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! The Eunuch Archives. DO NOT WATCH THE VIDEO EMBED IN THE POST IF YOU FIND COCK REMOVAL UNSETTLING!

Hey! Want to know more about the great idea of removing your dong and coconuts? Consider getting some amazing Eunuch Items at Amazon!

There are changes going on at Lou Reads. You may have already guessed that from the title of this post! Nothing crazy drastic. Basically I got fed up with all the weird aborted downloads I was hearing about and decided to switch media hosts. Right now I’m trying out BluBrry. They seem alright so far but a lot of episodes didn’t get slurped down by their media-slurper thing so I’m trying to figure out how to remedy that. Other nice-ness is that you can now embed Lou Reads podcasts into your own blogs or websites. Sadly it doesn’t do forum BBCODE but hopefully an iFrame is good enough for you. So, anyway, if there is a file or two missing from iTunes or a post I hope to have them linked back up ASAP. I’m just waiting on BluBrry support to get back to me…

In other news the first Lou Reads magnet photos have started to come trickle in. Get in on the awesome paper/photo/receipt holding fun and send me your name and address and I’ll send you your very own Lou Reads magnet. How does it work? I don’t know. Miracles! Here are the first two photos!

Thanks everyone! New episode out soon!

Whoa… wait… what? Did that just happen… whoa… wait… WHOA!

Greetings, mellow fellows. Its been too long since I ventured in to the smoke filled corridors of the memories of stoners. “Wait,” you’re saying, “aren’t stoners memories highly suspect?” Ha, you said “highly.” Well, stoners may have short term memory effects about stuff like what just happened on that show they were watching or what they were just talking about but they rarely forget when something hilarious or other wise momentous happens. So I found a great thread in the Something Awful forums about shared stoner moments and then, predictably, I read them. I’m sure many of you will appreciate and relate to the tales within. The rest of you… are probably narcs…

Won’t you please enjoy Lou Reads: More Stoner Moments!

BLOG ONLY BONUS TRACK!

So, yeah. If you really want to read into seeing something then this is the forum for you. Not only that but this forum has like so seriously amazingly bananas theories about all kinds of nonsense. I can’t even get into how utterly loopy it is. I tried to read some of the explanatory stuff but it just got to be too much. Wait until you learn that we live on the 606th planet called Uranita in the System of Satania!!! I know, its almost too much to fathom! Anyway, won’t you please enjoy Lou Reads the forums of 1111angels.com

This was for the New York Times! The Old Grey Lady just got Read By Lou!

Now back to recording the horrors. New podcast coming out soon!

We watched the not so great movie “KILLERS!” For those not familiar with the podcast we watch a movie that has already come and gone from the theaters and then talk about it. For extra bonus fun I talk about seeing Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark on Broadway and about what a train-wreck is was. SO if you get a chance, check out The Flop House Podcast: KILLERS. I predict you will be in a state of entertainment at some point in the podcast. If not… well maybe you should ask yourself why you’re so angry…

Don’t fret, though. I’m busy looking for new horrible stuff to read about for you. Perhaps I’ll be taking a break from the HYPER-WRETCHEDNESS of the last bunch. I’ll even see if I can go a podcast without talking about excretions! See you later!

So… first of all… welcome to a new year! Thats right, it’s 2011 and I’m starting this year off with a bang! Wait… do you hear that? What’s that sound? If you guessed the gentle sound of urine filling a pair of women’s shoes you guessed right! If you guessed that it was human semen you may have also been correct if you went to this forum. Shoesession.com is a site dedicated to the myriad world of shoe fetishism. Not just the love of shoes but also the serious defiling, staining and plain old ruining of shoes. WHAT? Yeah. So get ready for some serious illness in your ears. Its not as bad as the Breeding Zone podcast but its up there! If you find out that someone you love is into this fetish you may require some Urine Off Odor and Stain Remover for your shoes…