Loughborough Echo - Goaltastic

Goaltastic Fantasy Football League - Gameweek 26

2012-02-27T12:43:38Z

THIS week's Fantasy League results have proved to be tighter than the underwear in a David Beckham photoshoot - with the top 30 or so all scoring in the 40s or 50s.
As a result despite a few shuffles - including rises for stooshermadnessFC (4), Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf (6), Team Punishment (8), CescforBarca (17) and shipthecheese (20) - it's a week for the status quo to be maintained.
Top scorer this week was 33rd placed Campo's Class, who notched 64 points thanks to a series of solid performances throughout his team.

Owner's wife gives rousing half time team talk

2012-02-26T09:21:32Z

ONE goal down at half time yesterday, AFC Bournemouth's squad had a rather suprising pep talk delivered.
Instead of manager Lee Bradbury stepping into the breach when his League One team trailed 1-0 to MK Dons, the wife of co-owner Maxim Demin decided to talk to the players.
Bournemouth went on to lose the match 1-0.
Bradbury said: "She and her husband have put a lot of energy and a lot of money into the club through me and I believe that she is entitled to express her opinion.
"It was half-time and I think in the second half we did as well as we did in the first half, so it didn't affect the game.
"I think the people that are putting money into football are entitled to their say."

Steve Kean has karate dan chaparone

2012-02-24T11:33:52Z

MARMITE manager Steve Kean has revealed he now has a bodyguard with him at all times due to the extreme reactions he provokes from some Blackburn fans.
He revealed that he has even had to flee from restaurants with his wife and children after being hunted down by hate-filled fans.
He said "I was advised that it would be in my interest to have somebody with me at all times.
"The chap who protects me is a seventh dan in karate, but he is not big or butch or anything.
"He knows how to handle himself.
"It is a bit strange having him around, but there are some good things too. He is bloody interesting to talk to, for a start."
He added: "I think the vast majority of fans are passionate, but non-violent, whether towards me or anybody else."

Citizens' "Incredible" chant should be probed say Porto

2012-02-23T13:43:41Z

PORTO are considering a complaint to UEFA against Manchester City fans after they taunted Brazilian striker Hulk with chants of "You're Not Incredible".
Hulk, not pictured above, was also targeted by City fans with calls of "cheat" and Porto communications director Rui Cerqueira said the club would take action.
He said: "We will take this to UEFA. It is improper behaviour. This behaviour may be normal in England but Porto want to contribute to eradicating it from sport."
Manchester City have lodges an official complaint that Porto fans racially abused Mario Balotelli and Yaya Toure at the Estadio do Dragao in the first leg of the Europa League tie last week.

Anfield Cat at large in Liverpool

2012-02-22T15:10:02Z

A CULT hero cat who made headlines after getting onto the pitch at Anfield has escaped from his new foster home.
The football-following feline - now named Shankly after invading the pitch during the recent Premier League clash with Spurs - escaped through a sealed cat flap at a rescue home in Crosby, where he was being temporarily looked after on behalf of Freshfields animal rescue centre.
Helen Stanbury, the centre manager, said: "Shanks had clearly had enough of the limelight and was overcome by the need to feel pavement beneath his paws once again.
"We believe it likely that Shanks' homing instincts will lead him in the direction of Anfield and we would urge residents in the area to keep an eye out for him around his old stomping ground."
Unluckily for Shankly, Liverpool are away to Cardiff in their next match.

West Ham tried to borrow Torres and Tevez

2012-02-21T21:04:10Z

LAST January's rather uninspiring transfer window - hardly set alight by big name moves by the likes of Gary Cahill and Bobby Zamora - could have seen world renowned strikers Carlos Tevez and Fernando Torres on the move.
Because cheeky Championship club West Ham lodged loan bids with Chelsea and Manchester City for both the struggling strikers.
The pair - who cost an estimated combined £97m last time they moved clubs - could have been joined in attack for the Hammers for free, had both bids not been unsuprisingly rejected.
"We had two irons in the fire. If we'd pulled one off it would have been exciting but it wasn't to be," said co-chairman David Gold.

Henry plans to build new fish tank home

2012-02-20T23:01:18Z

ICONIC striker Thierry Henry has submitted plans to demolish his home and rebuild it around a four-storey aquarium.
The fish-loving Frenchman wants planning consent to knock down his Hampstead home to create the aquatic wonderland which has the 40ft tank, which would cost £250,000 to build, need £12,000 a year to run and hold 300 fish in 5,500 gallons of water.
Rumours the Arsenal great plans to live inside a tiny castle inside the tank and keep his Premier League, World Cup, Ligue 1, La Liga, Cope Del Rey and FA Cup trophys inside an underwater treasure chest which opens and closes with a tiny stream of bubbles are as yet unconfirmed.
Thierry, I salute you - as an regular aquarium goer and fish keeper myself, I am green as algae with envy over this.
In your honour, here are some denizens of the deep which could live inside your tank, feel free to leave your own in the comments -

Shark Hughes

Octopus Rehhagel

Fish Waddle

Aaron Clamsey

Stingray Clemence

Cod Fanni

Ruud van Nistelkoi

Claude Mackeralele

Wayne Troutledge

Piranholdinho

Injured footballer ran himself over at petrol station

2012-02-20T15:22:43Z

VALENCIA midfielder Ever Banega is facing a long spell on the sidelines after breaking the tibia and fibula in his left leg in a freak car accident.
Banega, 23, will undergo surgery on the injury and Valencia said in a statement that the Argentina international could be absent for around six months, although they will give an update after the operation.
Although Valencia only confirmed that Banega had been hurt in an accident involving his own car after leaving training today, it is reported that the injury occurred when the midfielder failed to put the handbrake on at a petrol station and, after the car moved, his leg was caught between the wheel and the curb.

Goaltastic Fantasy Football League - Gameweek 25

2012-02-16T16:24:37Z

LOFTY Bangkok Foxes still sit on top of the pile after the last gameweek, but a mover climbs to second place, Debbie Does Gallas.
Kirk United (7), Team Punishment (9), Wolfmans Brother (10) and Hersham Boys (14) are all also on the up.
VZ Vampires (20) were highest scorers this week with 85 - double what most teams managed to post.

Ramsey is a deadly finisher

2012-02-13T22:41:25Z

ARSENAL hotshot Aaron Ramsey has hardly been a prolific goalscorer of late - and it's probably for the best.
Because the creative midfielder seems to have a deadly finish - with his last four strikes bizarrely coinciding with high profile deaths.
Whitney Houston's death has been linked by fans to the Welshman's strike in the Premier League game against Sunderland.
Goals have also been scored days and in some cases hours prior to the deaths of Osama Bin Laden, Steve Jobs and Colonel Gaddafi!

Goaltastic Fantasy Football League - Gameweek 24

2012-02-10T09:36:19Z

FIRSTLY, apologies for the late update - my computer is less reliable than Fabio Capello these days.
Secondly, watch me go - Goaltastic's 'house' team Ashletico is once again on the up, moving into forth place, making me the highest mover of the week.
Forget Harry Redknapp - Goaltastic for England manager!
Oh, and some other people did some stuff as well, including Team Punishment (10), who rise courtesy of a three-figure 107 total.
St Hatrick's™ (47) also notched 100, well done both of you.

Goaltastic Fantasy Football League - Gameweek 23

2012-02-02T16:40:18Z

SOME big, big scores were posted in the Goaltastic League this week - with the top two maintaining the status quo.
Moving on up in the top 10 this week are Debbie Does Gallas (3), Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf (7) and The Boss XI (9).
Special mentions must also go to the teams which posted 90+ scores - Huth Yo' Daddy (29), Mt Scott Sounders (35), Bassett's Allsorts (48) - well played!

Hazard ahead for top English club

2012-01-29T22:48:30Z

RISING star Eden Hazard has flashed a warning to his current employers that he's heading to England.
While ruling out a January move from French club Lille as the Ligue 1 side are currently in the title race, Hazard has pledged to move to the Premier League this summer.
In an interview with Canal+, he said: "I have over 100 Ligue 1 matches, I'm young but I want to know something else. Paris is tempting with the players there now but I prefer to go abroad.
"I think I'm heading to England, the style of play suits me there and I think it's in this league that I can learn as much.
"We know the great English clubs. It will be a club where I'm sure to play with a play style that suits me.
"I don't know for which club I'll sign yet. Manchester, Chelsea, Arsenal and Tottenham are all great."

Cisse in the queue at QPR

2012-01-28T08:38:41Z

SINCE taking over the reins at QPR, Mark Hughes has been by far the most active manager this January Transfer Window.
The Welshman has already bought in Nedum Onuoha and Taye Taiwo as well as Federico Macheda on loan, with rumours of more players heading in before February 1.
And one of the rumours Goaltastic is excited at the prospect of is former Liverpool and Sunderland striker returning to England.
The French striker, officially the Lord of Frodsham Manor, has a playing style as eccentric as his hairdos, all heads-down sprints and thunderbolt shots, and he always livens up proceedings.
And according to Cisse a move from his current barren patch at Lazio could be on the cards for £5m: "The transfer market is not over. There are a few days left and you never know what may happen."

Goaltastic Fantasy Football League - Gameweek 22

2012-01-23T20:43:13Z

A GAMEWEEK of mixed fortunes has caused plenty of movement in the Goaltastic League.
The top three - Bangkok Foxes (1), Canons Ablaze (2), and Ashletico (3) - stay as they are.
But the likes of StooshermadnessFC (4), Ninja Avengers (7) and Wolfmans Brother (8) rise with big scores in the 60s and 70s, while other high fliers like Trad Bricks (6) and Taurages Tauras (12) only mustered scores in the 20s and 30s.
The pattern continues the length of the table - with a high score of 75 from CescforBarca (15) contrasting with a lowly 20 posted by Singha (74) and St Hatrick's (56).