Love, Family and Life

Sorting through it all...

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 06:02:00 +0000

Oh, my poor neglected blog. I haven't been around in months. Life has been so busy, and I guess I have been so busy enjoying it that I haven't been able to stop here and document it so that I remember it. There is no doubt in my mind though that the last week and a half, and then the weeks to follow, will be permanently scarred in my memory for the rest of my life. I'm sad to return to here on a sad note, but what I need more than ever is a place to try and sort my thoughts. To say the last few days have been a nightmare at this point would be an understatement. Here is my story so far though.

We are currently expecting out third child, due Dec 28th. YAH!!!!!!! Writing this right now I am 21 weeks, and 2 days. We have been really excited, as this little one will complete our family (aka, after this baby this factory is closed!)

By the time we saw the Dr. for our first appointment I was 14 weeks, so we didn't have the IPS testing done (We didn't with our other kids, and I'm only 30, so we weren't too concerned). We went for our routine 18 week ultrasound. It was longer than normal due to me having a very active little one (much like big sister Lilly), that made it really hard to get all the proper measurements. I wasn't concerned though, until right before the long weekend, when I had a call from my Dr. about a 'small issue' she wanted to discuss that she saw on my ultrasound. When I went in for my appointment the following week, she said they found a choroid plexus cyst on baby's brain. She throughly explained everything too me about how they are in an area of the brain that does not affect mental development, they nearly all disappear by birth or shortly after, but how they can be considered a soft marker for trisomy 18 and trisomy 21. She stressed how she was not worried, based on how they are seeing so many of these cysts now (especially with ultrasound technology increasing), my age, no family history and two healthy kids already. In fact she stressed over and over again that she was not concerned, and she even drew me a little graph showing me her level of concern, and how it was right at the bottom. Still though she sent me for the maternal serum screening blood test, just to put all our minds at ease, since I had nothing done initially.

The week between the maternal serum test and receiving results, I did so much research on choroid plexus cysts. To be completely honest, I really wasn't concerned at all anymore. They are very common it seams, and many experts are no longer even considering them soft markers for T18 or T21. I was really at peace. That was until I got the phone call this past Thursday afternoon, from my doctor with my test results. For a test that was supposed to calm me down, and remove all questions about the presence of the cyst on the ultrasound it did the exact opposite. While my screen for neural tube defects came back great at 1/21,000 the down syndrome portion came back at 1/44. One in forty-four! I was in shock, and still am. I don't think I have cried so much in my life! Hubby, hasn't taken things well and is kind of in shut down.

The past 48 hours have been spent crying, then trying to block everything out, then going through the 'what-if' scenarios, and how our life could drastically change. We won't terminate. I won't lie though, I spent the first few hours contemplating if I could love my child, and if maybe adoption was the best route. I've felt horribly selfish as I've worried more about what others with think, and how they will treat us if we have a child with Down Syndrome. I've worried about my life and how it will affect my ability to pursue my own dreams and go back to school. It was Hubby who said something, something he said when I was pregnant with each of our children, that kind of snapped me out of things a little. He said 'This baby is a little bit of you and a little bit of me', and no matter what it has a soul.

He is right. It is just hard to think of and accept at the moment. The joy of this pregnancy is gone right now. I'm struggling to find a way to bring it back, but it has been replaced with worry and sadness.

Currently we are waiting for an appointment with the genetic councilor, at a perinatal clinic. My Dr. indicated they normally do another ultrasound right there, looking for more soft markers and issues that may indicate a problem. Then there is the debate of the amino. Hubby and I are on opposite sides of the fence. I want it done. At this point I need to know the results. As I said already there would be no termination, but I can't spend the next 4 months wondering, and going through the what-if's. If it is positive it will give me and the doctors time to prepare for our baby, and if it isn't that I can relax, celebrate and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. Hubby, is worried about the risks associated with an amino, as well as what my reaction will be if it is positive. I don't blame him, especially because of some of the things I have said in the last day or so.

Right now we are trying to go one step at a time. Wait for the appointment, and get more info there. It is so hard though. So very, very hard. Right now, I'm just trying to take things an hour at a time, because a day at a time is just too much. I'm so happy to have Lilly and Lyndon right now, who are keeping me more than busy, with the last few weeks of summertime playing.

Merry Christmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 03:11:00 +0000

It is hard to believe that it is Christmas time again! This is our first Christmas in our new home, it is even more of a special time for us. As a family we have new memories to make and traditions to start! Decorating, crafts, baking, and searching for Sunny (our beloved Elf on a Shelf) have filled our house, all making it a truly magical place. Lyndon is so excited for Christmas! Her keeps saying "Santa is coming" or "Christmas is coming", even though I don't think he really understands what either of those things mean just yet. Lilly is keeping herself with school as she has classes right until December 23rd. Hubby and I are off from the December 22nd until January 4th...together! We are looking forward to just spending lots of time together and visiting friends and family. It should be pretty wonderful, I think!

From our house to your's we wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

(Not every photo is perfect, but oh how they hold memories and make us laugh!)

Sunny

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 02:19:00 +0000

The Elf on the Shelf has come to our house! He came tonight, and the kids named him Sunny!

We can't wait to see what trouble he gets into this holiday season ;).

The big 3-0

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:06:00 +0000

Happy Birthday to Me! I'm 30 today!

Every time I say that, I go through this crazy range of emotions. Is 30 old? When I'm with dropping Lilly off at school, and I look at the parents around me, I feel young! When I think of going back to school, with all the 20 year olds, it feels old! I don't really think I feel old though. I think of where I was 10 years ago, early years in university & going out on the weekends, and I definitely don't want to be there again. I had so much to learn, yet thought I knew it all.

Hubby, asked me this morning, if I am happy where I am after 30 years. In terms of my family & friends I could not be happier. I am surrounded by the most wonderful group of people, who love and support me though it all. I'm happy of what Hubby and I have accomplished together it terms, of finishing school, our home, and our beautiful family. My career, well lets just say it is a work in progress. I know that I'm not really bad off. I'm ahead of where a lot of people are, and I've moved up quickly over the years in my field. It just isn't the field I want to be in, so as we know, I'm making that change a priority.

I'm excited to see what the next 10 years will bring. I'm excited for the adventures, and the challenges ahead. I'm thirty now, and I will embrace them head on!

Happy 30th birthday to me!

An unexpected bump in the road

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 21:11:00 +0000

I know things have been quiet here again. It's busy season for photography. Between that studying for my mcat, and normal life with two kids, I'm feeling stretched pretty thin right now. On top of all that, I found a really tender spot suddenly in my right breast. Want everything around you to feel like it is coming crashing down around you? That is pretty much the perfect way for it to happen. I've waited a few days for it to go away, and it hasn't. I've poked and prodded, to the point where I bruised myself, feeling for 'things' that shouldn't be there. What did I learn? I have no idea what I am feeling for! I think everything feels like 'something' and end up more confused, frustrated, and scared than anything. I saw my doctor this morning, and feel somewhat better. She is sure what she is able to feel is just a cyst, which is inflamed, is why it is sore. Just to make sure though, she is sending me for an ultrasound. Since in her opinion it isn't 'critical', it will probably be a couple of weeks before I get in for one. I'm ok with that. Especially since I'm heading to Vegas next week with a bunch of girl friends. We are all going to celebrate out 30th birthdays, which happen this month. That's right I'm only 30. No matter what too, as old as I feel about turning 30, I feel too still to young to be worrying about these kinds of lumps and bumps.

Grade Two

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 16:56:00 +0000

Lilly started Grade 2 on September 1st. It is unbelievable to think that she is already back in school, as it feels like the summer just begun. (Granted with all the rainy weather we had in June and July, it almost did!) Lilly was quite excited to go back. Not because she got to see the friends she hasn't seen in months or to meet her wonderful new teacher, Mrs. S. No she was primarily excited to go back because it mean she got to wear her new Twinkle Toes shoes to school. She had been dying for a pair of them for months, and was promised them for back to school. It was literally all she talked about for weeks! The apple definitely does not fall to far from the tree after all ;)

On the first day, I took the morning off of work, so I could take her to school myself. Something that is a treat for me, and I really enjoy. Although I don't know if she really needed, or for that matter really wanted, me there. She met up with a one of her friends as we walked into the school, and then sat and chatted with her the entire time I was there with her, waiting for the family group assignment for the day. It was pretty cute to overhear their conversation about summer, and how they were best friends. I just held Lyndon a little closer, and secretly wished in my head for him to stop growing up on me.

I'm so proud of her, and excited for what this year will hold. My resolution for the new school year, though is to stay more on top of lunches! I promise to have them ready the night before and not be scrambling in the morning. After three days, I'm still good...we will see how long it lasts ;).

Lessons in Bike Riding

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 02:18:00 +0000

One of our big things over the summer has been teaching Lilly to ride a bike without her training wheels. She isn't exactly the most athletically inclined child, and when she ventures out is protected from head to toe. We are still working on this one...not quite there yet. Lyndon of course is right there beside her the whole time though!

Need this today...

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 00:05:00 +0000

Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great. ~ Mark Twain

I think I need to put this somewhere I can see it every single day!

I started, and I'm terrified

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 16:07:00 +0000

I started studing for my MCAT last week. I'm putting together an application for next fall. I'm going to do it. I know I'll never be satified if I don't.

I haven't really written much about how I have flip-flopped over the years about going back to school. It has been a constant internal battle for me. I did speak of my desire to return to school once before, and now that seams so long ago. I'm not going to lie, I look on the post, and if I had stuck with things, I could almost be done by now :(

I know I can do it! I know I can succeed. I've just been so afraid to try, and continually given myself hurdles to jump through to delay trying. Lyndon, returning to work, new house...I've run out of my excuses. It really is now or never!

Lucky for me I'm married to the most amazing man in the world, who wants me to pursue my dreams and succeed! He is pushing me, and it is exaclty what I need.

But step one is the MCAT, and I'm on my way!

Their words, not mine

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 15:51:00 +0000

Instead of being fast aleeping, last night at about 10 o'clock, Lilly burst down the stairs, looking rather frazzeled.

"Mom!!!! I don't want to have to leave you and go to college!"

~ ~ ~

Lyndon while sitting on my bathroom counter, while I got ready for work this morning, was rummaging through some of the drawers. With glee, he stumbled upon a bottle of bright pink nail polish.

"Mommy! Baby need pretty pink toes pleeeeeeaaaaassssseeeee!"

I can't make this stuff up!

Gaga Update

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 03:25:00 +0000

We gave the gaga back to Lyndon after about a week. It as awful! He would scream, with no ending in sight, for hours at bedtime. He ended up sleeping in our bed on a nightly basis, because he could not calm himself down. Then 'froggy' showed up. We haven't quite figured out froggy exactly. All he says is the 'Froggy is bugging me' when ever we put him down to bed.

After we gave back the gaga, he goes to sleep again in his own bed, and has returned to sleeping the night through without a problem. It is a huge relief! It has not however solved the problem of Froggy. Froggy is still there 'bugging him' when we walk into his room at night. Thankfully a teddy under one arm and gaga seam to be able to make it all go away.

We will try again with taking gaga, in a few months. Honestly, I'm ok with that. I'm ok with letting my baby stay little just a little longer.

Goodbye Gaga

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 04:13:00 +0000

I'm having a major sad mommy moment right now. I took away Lyndon's Gaga this evening (aka his soother). I didn't intend to, it just sort of happened as a consequence to his actions. Basically he constantly uses his gaga, which happens to be attached to a wooden bead soother clip, to hit Lilly in the head. He just sits there and whips it at her over and over again. Well, Mommy gave him a final warning, and he kept doing it. So mommy took gaga and a pair of scissors (can you guess where this is going?) and cut the top off, and through it in the garage in front of him.

All evening he kept going to the garbage and opening the cupboard, then pressing the pedal with is foot. He would look inside and say 'dere is my gaga', then closed the lid. He called Nana on the phone, and told her gaga was in the 'barbage' and walked with the phone to the garbage and said 'see nana, dere it is' as he held out the phone for her to look. It just broke my heart! He is so attached to his gaga. He can hardly nap without it, and you know when he is tired because he plays with the clip part, just under his chin :(

Maybe he will be ok, with out his gaga, but I don't know if I am. Without his gaga he is such a big boy, and I don't know if emotionally I am ready for that to happen just yet.

Happy Canada Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Lilly is quite infatuated with Canada's birthday, so we get quite excited in our house for it! We didn't partake in any of the big events the city put on this year, as we have in the past though. Instead we headed out for a family breakfast, to our favorite breakfast establishment, and then to some really good friends for BBQ. I realized I missed the old house all of a sudden, as we used to be able to stand on our front sidewalk and watch the fireworks, but that is no more. Luckily as we drove home late at night, down a back country road, we could see a few colour bursts from people lighting them on their own :)

Lilly and I made Canada Day Oreo Pops as part of our celebration. I mean really who can go wrong with chocolate dips Oreos ;)

Healthy Homemade Ice Cream

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Tue, 24 May 2011 03:52:00 +0000

We had a busy long weekend! Breakfast play dates, soccer practice, shopping trips, a gorgeous cherry blossom maternity shoot by Edmonton's best maternity photographer and then after all of that, a lot of laundry and house cleaning! It was the ideal mix of fun and responsibility, and now it is time for back to work, and the countdown until summer holidays begin!

We did kick off the summer this evening, with a yummy new treat. Homemade chocolate 'ice cream' that is really healthy, and so incredibly easy to make. I promise your kids, if they like chocolate, will love it and you won't hesitate to let them eat it!

Chocolate 'Ice Cream':
Ingredients:
2 frozen bananas
1-2 tablespoons cocoa powder

In blender (or with immersion mixer as me and my blender have more of a love/hate relationship) blend frozen bananas and cocoa powder together until smooth. Sever and Enjoy!

See I told you it was easy and healthy ;)

Just for me

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Sat, 21 May 2011 20:46:00 +0000

I've always wanted a photo of cherry blossoms. Not one that I bought from someone else, but as silly as it sounds, one that I have taken! Unfortunately we don't have very many around us, or my timing is always way off, and by the time I got around to taking one the blossoms would be gone. I was luck enough this morning as I was able to convince a maternity client to bump her photos up a few weeks, so we could take advantage of all of the blossoms. Before her session though I snapped this photo for me. Taking photos for me, is something I don't do very often anymore. This one I think will end up on a canvas in my home. I just have to figure out where exactly.

Maui

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Tue, 17 May 2011 15:25:00 +0000

My wonderful Hubby, started a new job! With normal hours! So our little family has every evening and weekend T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R! Now, he only started a week ago, but so far it has been pure bliss! Before the big switch, we planned a last minute trip and jetted off to Maui. No kids (they went to Nana & Papa's), just the two of us for one week, in paradise!

It was beyond amazing!

We stayed right on Ka'anapali beach, at the Sheraton. The views from there were amazing. We did so many things, many first time thins for us, like snorkeling at Black rock with sea turtles! We ate a lot on the trip, as we are always big foodies when we travel. Some of the other adventures we partook in though we will definietly remember forever, like the Road to Hana, with all of it's hikes and waterfalls, the top of Haleakala. We did some of the typical tourist things like went to a Luau, wandered around Lahaina and did some shopping. Of of this activity though was of course mixed in with lots of relaxing by either the beach or the the pool. It was so amazing to reconnect with each other, and just completely relax. I can't wait until we are able to go back one day, with the kids though next time. Now please excuse my picture overload :)

Sunset luau at black rock

Road to the Haleakala summit, 10,023ft! It was so amazing as we were above the clouds, and the landscape at the top was unlike anything you have ever seen before. Living at the top of the summit is the silversword plant. It is the only place in the world that it grows!

For the road to Hana, we got up early in the morning and started our journey. The twists and turns made for such an interesting, and slow paced drive.

The stops along the way were amazing! Twin falls was our first stop, and we went on a short hike, up to a small fall, passing banana trees and gorgeous flowers along the way. Hubby was brave and crossed the stream to get a closer look.

We stopped for a picnic lunch over looking the Keanae Peninsula.

Then continued down to the Peninsula and saw the most amazing lava rock beach!

At the black sand beach, we walked through the lava tube, and the waves took me for a little dunk in the water.

Our last stop on the road to Hana, before we took the long road home, was Wailua Fall. It was huge and magnificent!

The next day, after all of that driving, we sat on the beach, and had a nice dinner over the water.

On our final day, after procrastinating leaving the hotel pool for a few hours (which resulted in me with quite the sun burn), we headed up to see the Iao Needle in the Iao Valley.

The view looking out over the valley was nothing short of amazing!

It is always so hard to leave after such a wonderful time away, and come back to reality. It was a box of fresh krispy kremes though that helped up make our way back to the airport :)

Thoughts on blogging

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Thu, 12 May 2011 19:32:00 +0000

Despite all of my intentions to stay more on top of things here is just doesn't seam to happen. The days are flying by, and I'm so swamped with the business, full time work, the kids and the house, this has taken such a back seat.

I'm starting to feel guilt about it too for a few reasons. First I realized that Lyndon is now the age that Lilly was, when I first started this blog many years ago. I have volumes on Lilly, photos, things she said, and Lyndon not so much. Second because I used to have all of this blogs that I read, and followed. Some where I felt like I knew them all so well, I don't have time to write my own blog I most definitely don't have time to read others.

Then something happen yesterday, nothing major. But as I was sifting though my iPhoto library, all 24,000 images, I noticed a sudden jump in the dates last summer. A chill ran through me. Three months just gone all of a sudden*. My brain frantically searching trying to rememberwhat happended during those few months. My sister's wedding! It all I could remember. I came to my blog and went back in time to seach. There were a few posts, with pictures, Lilly's first day of grade 1, Lyndon's first har cut. Other than though not very much. No pictures from my sisters's wedding, I never got around to blogging them.

I'm sad, but actually surprisingly calm about the whole thing. I learned my lesson, and it could have been way worse. I'm going to make more of an effort for blogging that is for sure, and lots of pictures, just in case :)

*Side note: we have a very effecient backup of all of our data that runs contantly. These just appear to have been lost long before that was implimented, and never was caught unfortuanly. Part of the risk of having a personal photo library of 24,000 images.

Happy Birthday Lyndon!

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 17:09:00 +0000

My baby is two today! I am trying to figure out where the days have gone, and how he is two. He is such a little boy already. He talks non stop, chases his sister around all over the house calling 'Gully-ga' since he can't say 'Lilly', and already has a preference for the colour blue. He is still a very serious child most of the time, but has the most wonderful smile and laugh that can melt anyone in his presence. Oh, and given the opportunity, like when Mommy's back is turned, he will try to beat up Lilly...we are working on that one.

My favorite thing right now is the little conversation we have on a pretty much daily basis. I always ask him "Lyndon are you Mommy's boy?" and quite firmly he replies "No! Papa's man...Nana's Man...Daddy's Man!". Already so grown up.

Happy 2nd Birthday Lyndon!

The Flu again

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 02:32:00 +0000

Lyndon appears to come down with something nasty last week, then Hubby was hit really hard, and now I feel pretty *blah*! None of use have been sick as many times as we have, since we moved into my in-laws house. I'm not quick sure what it going on...maybe it is just the added stress on our immune system from our current living conditions. It definitely isn't very fun, especially since I am currently out of sick days until the end of March.

Oh, well our days are numbered at my in-laws. March 25th is the big day, and we get possession of the new house! To say we are excited, would be a mild understatement at this point. To have my own kitchen again, and the freedom to cook what I want for my family, is something I am dying to have back. Hubby can't wait until we have a place to park our cars, without having to move them constantly multiple times, so that his parents can get into their garage. Don't get me wrong, my in laws have been beyond accommodating in letting us stay at their home for soe long. It is just that two separate families, living under one roof, can only coexist peacefully for so long. It begins to ware on your mental, and apparently physical health, after while.

Middle of the night wardrobe change

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 17:50:00 +0000

My in-laws have graciously opened their homes to our little family, that we all know. While it maybe rent free for the 5 months we are staying, there is most definitely still a cost that comes with it! My children have developed some interesting traits while living under the care of my in-laws. Lilly for example seems to have no idea what the word 'bedtime' means anymore, or that Mommy doesn't make three different suppers for you just because you don't like the first two.

Lilly though is mild, compared to Lyndon however. I honestly think Lyndon is going to need a 12-step program in order to be removed from Hubby's dad! He clings onto him constantly. While it is kind of cute, and I realize how wonderful it is that they two have developed such a wonderful bond. BUT, when Lyndon wakes up in the middle of the night, unknown to me because despite being in the room next door I don't hear him, and my FIL travels down two flights of stairs to get him out of his crib to play with him, we might have a problem. When during this middle of the night play, Lyndon decides he must get dressed in his jeans and shoes, and my FIL obliges, we know we have a serious problem!

Oh, my poor children are going to have such a rude awaking after March 25th!

Happy Valentine's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 20:34:00 +0000

Lilly spends most of the year counting down until Valentine's Day. Somehow this heart filled day has earned top spot in her holiday lineup, right behind Christmas of course. She will spend weeks preparing homemade Valentines for all of her Aunties and Uncles. Then the decision on which cards to handout to her classmates is not one she takes lightly. This year she was quite concerned if it would be ok to pass out Princess cards to the boys in her class. In the end, she decided that it would be ok, since they were her favorite.

I’ve put together Valentine’s for both of my little ones, ready for them to find in the morning. However, it was Lilly that surprised me first this afternoon! She and Lyndon returned home from an afternoon at Nana’s, with a plate full of heart shaped cookies she made. I almost had a hard time eating them, but she insisted I have one, and how could I refuse her ;)

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Real or Fake

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 21:07:00 +0000

Lilly: " Um, Mom are those reeeeal Uggs, or fake Uggs?"

She is 6 years old. Since when does she know what Uggs are, or that there is such as thing are real ones and fake ones? I think she may have somehow inherited her Mommy's gene for expensive taste. Daddy is not going to be impressed with that one.

Tobogganing

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 03:50:00 +0000

We have LOTS of snow this year! Like an unmanageable amount of snow when it comes to shoveling and trying to drive to work, but it is the perfect amount for enjoying things like tobogganing!!! I haven't been down a hill in years, and thought it was just perfect conditions to take the kids out, especially since Lilly got a brand new sled from Christmas for Nana and Papa. We had soooo much fun out on the hill. I was even surprised how much Lyndon loved going down the hill. Since this day we haven't been able to get the hill enough to make Lilly happy.

Snow Day

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 22:19:00 +0000

This past weekend, in combination with being sick, we got about 30CM of snow. Needless to say we didn't really venture out of the house. Both by choice, and because even if you tried chances are you were going to get stuck at some point. So we stayed in, all bundled up. Played Wii, watched movies, read books. It was all fun, but by the end of the weekend, you start to get a little bored of being cooped up, no matter what. I wanted to test out a new backdrop I got for some portraits, and the kids for once were actually willing! That just shows how bored they were too!

Savvy Photographers

noreply@blogger.com (Christy) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 15:29:00 +0000

The Savvy Photographers are having a very cool give away on their blog right now! You can check it out here. As a photograpers they are a great place for inspiration, and to see new and exciting products to offer to clients. I'm going to cross my fingers for this one, that is for sure!