Let's Chat

New across my desk: Entrepreneurs can change the world

2009-06-12T16:54:00.001+08:00

I love the message in this video. If you are doing something about your yearning, this is you. It is me, too.

Yes, it is an advert but it gave me far more than it took.

As always, your comments are very welcome.

P

It had its Feng-Shui with me!

2009-06-10T13:16:00.012+08:00

To me, Feng Shui was a tooth-rubbingly New Age lifestyle badge until I caressed, picked up and swung about the twin towers last week. Now I have an appreciation for the possibilities of architecture to imbue people with a sense of great power. When you cut out the mumbo-jumbo mystical talk, the key to empowerment is the skill of appreciation.

I thank Peter and the Petronas Twin Towers for their part in my breakthrough.

What I love about the Twin towers is, standing a little back, I admire the serrated profile and faceted, reflective surfaces. The towers have weight to them; I can imagine hefting them with a firm, open grip, as the cornices tantalisingly bring points of pain-pleasure into the thin, sensitive flesh of my burning hot palm. (To get the feeling for yourself, squeeze a Lego brick tightly in one hand) A Tower, in my hands, is like a mighty steel and crystal sceptre, reminding me I have the capability to use massive force; devastating when wielded, inspiring when held aloft.

As I type, my fingers and palm mounds are prickling with sweat and fire; flesh-memories of the power at my disposal. I am fidgety with anticipation like a separated lover. My heart quickens and whispers from "that knowing place" that I am a god of powerful love and destruction. If I choose.

So Feng Shui did this to me? Well, in a way, yes. The Twin Towers, as my friend Peter the Skyscraper builder was telling me, was designed, according to Feng Shui principles, in order to optimise wealth and luck. He told me how Feng Shui is the art of concentrating, channeling and storing Chi (Life Force, Ki, Prana, True Love - prevalent in Asiatic medicine and martial arts), through the careful attention to form, colour and positioning. By design, a Feng Shui creation is designed to inspire a sense of connection to something beyond our physical presence.

So, KAZAM! There it strikes me. As a form, the external structure of this twin edifice is an object, which brings a sense of strength and aliveness down my arms, extending down, beyond the physical extremity of my finger tips, to a place where I can exert optimal leverage or piercing accuracy at the flick of a thought. This sensation is the kinesthetic expression of my vibrant power as a human being. And it is just like the feeling I had in my dojo days as an AiKiDo student, when my unbendable arms could deftly throw my partner (know as "Uke") without actually connecting physically. So, yes, my Chi was in "flow mode" - Feng Shui worked.

And it has nothing to do with Feng Shui. The design principles just created a shorthand way for me to more easily get present in the moment, stop micro analyzing and stop micro worrying, thus releasing my inner courage and daring, and my sense of infinite power. The possibility is there, in every moment of our day, Feng Shui or not.

So try this experiment: Look over there (yes, over there) - to where there is an object or a building that is tantalizingly tactile. With your imagination, reach out an arm, enclose the building with your hand and give it a good, tight squeeze. Feel the juiciness. Now notice any feeling that connects your physical body to the place where the object stands; see if you can imagine a shape or thread that connects the two. Notice where it is anchored in you and where it passes through.

That, my friends, is the expression of your power in this moment. See how far away you can get the feeling to travel. Notice the sensations in your body.

Feng Shui cleverly enabled a building to attract my appreciative attention and bring me alive.

What if I were to start just appreciating, regardless of design or intent on the part of a third party? This thrill would be available to me whenever and how much ever I want and I could feel like a master of possibility.

Which leads me to my final question - What is stopping me from wanting that the whole time?

Phil

Reflecting on Chats in KL

2009-06-09T13:31:00.006+08:00

It is a few days after my last Let's Chat; day 3 in Kuala Lumpur (held on 4 June), Sarah's on school vacation and I find some moments to write about some of my reflections.

With 49 days (about 100 hours, about 250 chats, with about 250 individuals) in Calgary and 3 days (7 hours, about 44 individuals, 27 chats) in Kuala Lumpur, there are some patterns I perceive; worth a mention:

The most contentious one, I expect, is this one: How come, in Canada, on the three occasions when the public park-space was "invaded" by commercial or solicitous messaging, the number of people passing by, meeting me with eye contact, saying a quick "hello" or "how's it going?", dropped to zero, while the number sitting down to chat was unaffected? (1 set of marketing canvassers, 1 set of charity event signer-uppers, 1 big plumbers billboard). I make up the story that there is a section of the population who are "borderline connectors", who would stop and connect if circumstances were better (i.e. they will not make the time, but will do so if the time and place are right). However, demands for attention, especially demands which feel like they take more than they offer, send these people into a defensiveness, which could be likened to a form of tunnel vision; they become tightly-focused on their immediate objective and lose all peripheral awareness.

I read an article in Adbusters a year or two ago that cited data, showing that the average urban dweller is exposed to 5000(?) commercial messages per day. What is the impact of 5000 demands for my attention on my social awareness, even on my social intelligence? Stupification? What then satisfies my deep human need to feel connected or a sense of belonging? I make up that we have allowed ourselves to become subverted into a proxy experience of community, through the manipulated channel of advertising, rather than through our direct experience of the community that surrounds us. So, what should our responsibility be?

Back to the research: The big difference between the two cities is in the demographic I'm meeting, and only in terms of gender. In Calgary the "audience" was split 50/50 men and women, of all ages between 20-90, from day 1. So far. in Kuala Lumpur, all but three approaches have been by men. I can understand this because women do not approach strange men here and need a formal introduction. When women did approach me I was in the shade of a big Mall; maybe that was more familiar, safer territory than a street corner?

The second difference has been in the duration of chats. In Canada the average chat was about 10-15 minutes, whereas here it has been 5-10 minutes. I will need to gather more experience before I can say for certain, however I am making up a story that this is to do with the level of comfort of the "invitee". The temperature and sun exposure might be a factor, being far warmer and sunnier here than at the park in Calgary. Also, it might have something to do with the fact that in, in Calgary, when seated, my 6'3"" height was not apparent. Here I haven't found a good sitting location, am forced to stand and the height difference between me and the average Malaysian is a lot greater. I imagine that a big chap like me could appear threatening. On the other hand a friend said, "I don't know, a big, Caucasian male like you will get a lot of attention here". Time will tell.

I suspect that (and I make this up; this will be hard to verify, doing this by myself), the number of potential chatters, or the "potential chatter density" is the same in both regions. I have had a higher chat frequency, with a shorter duration, in Malaysia than in Canada, but potential chatters will tend to shy away from interrupting an existing chat (again I make that up). This will be interseting to verify, factoring in the environment (such as heat and sun, as said before) .

Sorry; right now I have to play with Sarah in the pool. I will build on this article later. Good bye for now - Phil

Let's Chat in Kuala Lumpur - Day 2 Interview

2009-06-03T19:59:00.002+08:00

It was a very beautiful, clear-skied day and, although I was moved from the feet of the Twin Towers by security guards within three minutes, I managed to find a high-traffic spot.

This youTube video was shot by my new Let's Chat friend, Patsy Koay, as I was enjoying some shade and a can of 100 Plus, after the event.

There's some interesting stuff happening with some of the connections I am making here. I have no idea where it is leading but I do know the idea is having an entertaining and inspiring impact in the public space.

Have a beautiful day!
phil

Let's Chat hits Kuala Lumpur! "We Are All One" but "we don't want people talking to the customers"

2009-05-29T08:45:00.013+08:00

Wednesday 27th May 2009, 11:10-13:30, Bukit Bintang entrance to The Pavillions mall, Kuala Lumpur:

Yayyyyyyy! Yahooo! Rich connections. Rich potential. Rich learning. "We are all One" but "We don't want people talking to the customers"? I'll get to that at the end.

I'd just put up my sign at 11:10 when Jennifer strolled, open armed and open smiled, right into me for a discussion about chatting around the world. This beautiful Brit has been travelling for twenty years and made a point of talking to anyone. She discovered that basically people ARE the same, wherever you go. In this moment I'm asking myself, are people intrinsically the same or is it us who encourage people to act-out our similarities, by the way we show up in the world? I suspect it's not an either/or situation at all. I am inspired to feel the possibility that peace and progress are possible from inviting connections with strangers. This comes from the phenomenon of expressed similarity, that only comes about because we are curious about what lies behind the clothes, skin, culture, behaviour. I am convinced our success as a species will come from this kind of awareness.

Back to Jennifer, She saved me from myself at that moment, because the Mall security guard had asked me to come with him to seek a permit through the Concierge's department. Jennifer's impact was pacification and the guard withdrew. He didn't stay away the whole time however, as I shall tell shortly.

Then a butterfly danced between us, by the name of Patsy, lightness and vividness infected our conversation with enthusiastic support for a world of chance meetings and new progress. So then we were three. Jennifer left and Patsy, after they'd swapped details, and stayed for a while longer. There's a picture of us together on her facebook (here).

Here is Patsy's visitor book entry:

Mr Long was next, he ambled over from his morning espresso and stayed with me for 10 minutes, discussing the poor state of Malaysian race politics and ethincally polarised education as the root cause of Singapore's relative greatness. I've recently been reading in the press the results of youth servey's which show Malaysian youngsters consider themselves Malaysian, mostly, and not Malay, Chinese, Indian, Nyonya, etc. So Mr Long's bitterness gave me the refreshment of espresso, sweatened by a sense that the time is right for open, curious dialogues between strangers.

Dayang and her friend, Malays from a neighbouring province, studying business here, had circuited me three times before their curiosity got the better of them. We chatted about school and aspiration

Then came Sara, an Iranian marketing MBA grad and hopefully, recently successful job interviewee, who was mad at herself and opened up for a bit of Process coaching. I won't say more about that other than, from my side, I was exhilarated to be doing what I trained for, in the street, with someone I had known for five minutes. here is a testament to the value of openness:

Sara checked in with me on Facebook and tells me the discovery she made about herself in our conversation is now working its way out.

During my stay, in the shade from the tall mall, I noticed the security guards always seemed present in the corner of my eye. They kept away as I discussed Malaysians' incorrect interpretation of Islam, with Moaad, a Libyan MBA graduate. They remained in the periphary while Jesse, a 20 year old boutique manager, enthused about the fashion chain he wants to start, looked on by his grinning, younger friend. I almost didn't notice them when the Irish engineer, Fergus, was cross-examining me about my mission and motives. But it was after I ran into my own set overtime to joke around and have polaroids taken with a group of Indonesian business students, that I noticed a smartly attired woman, just over my right shoulder, flanked by two guards.

She asked to see my "work permit", a doc issued by the operating company for the mall. I told her how I wasn't doing work, nor soliciting or preaching and that this was private research, etc. Obviously I had no permit, so she informed me that "we don't want people talking to the customers" and invited me to seek a permit upstairs. Flanked by a three-pipped guard supervisor with no spoken English, we elevated to the 9th floor, to a sanitary, glass corridored complex and went into the Retail Operations department. I had two similar conversations with two female suits. Yes they were objects to me because I failed to challenge the persona of suitness they projected. I failed to take it higher. I had made up I was just going through some motions that would lead to rejection and I got exactly that. Turns out there is not one patch of pavement (sidewalk) in that district which is not privately operated by a retail company. My heart sank.

As I walked, pole in one hand, wrapped sign board in the other, bag and brolley over my shoulder, having just left my guard escort at the threshold, I reflected. How amazing! I did it! I wasn't arrested either! No-one was unkind; everyone who even made eye contact smiled or encouraged me. People here seem to want this like the people in Calgary. I even did better by maintaining my non-commercial/political/religious integrity AND gaining some tangible allies (Facebook friends), who are already talking this up with their friends. I resolved to keep getting escorted to the office, if necessary, AND NEXT TIME I meet a suit I will try harder to listen, be curious and seek the common connection.

It's funny, right beside where I chatted is a huge hoarding proclaiming on behalf of Calvin Klein that "We Are All One". I didn't need a multinational corporation to tell me that, because I was experiencing and proving it on a privately owned sidewalk, meeting the owners' disapproval.

We don't need anyone to tell us, folks, how it is that we are "all one" and we don't need to accept that our interactions be controlled by retail operations departments. We can find out for ourselves and the possibilities that then open are vaster than they imagined.

With love,
Phil

I had to giggle - so I made this

2009-05-20T11:36:00.005+08:00

Our friends recently went to Bali for a few days, so we looked after their tiny, tiny pet Chihuahua, "Mouse". She was the runt of the litter, apparently, is over a year old and will not get bigger.

For such a small hound,, she had a huge, erm, appetite.

During one afternoon, I whipped out my phone camera and recorded the linked footage, for your viewing pleasure. It is under 3 minutes long, so you do have time. I wish you all a beautiful day!

Click this link or click the title and enjoy

It just eats...

2009-05-11T21:37:00.008+08:00

I've got this large, old piece of corrugated plastic tucked to one side of my home office. It's a little buckled and dog-eared and the metalic, deep blue paint is scuffed. Across one segment is a hatched track, where some duct tape reacted with the paint. The paper lettering , spelling out the invitation "Let's Chat" is blistered from exposure to rain and the pointy corner of the speech bubble is dinged in from it's rough handling on route around the world from Canada to Malaysia.

And it just eats at me. I know what I feel compelled to do, to get out into the open spaces of this beautiful, diverse, busy-busy Kuala Lumpur and start inviting strangers to chat. And it just eats. I have sought refuge from the inevitable by being busy moving home, getting my girl into school, being under the yoke of rivulet inducing heat. It's eating me when I tell people about my past chatting glory, knowing that idle talk only brings temporary relief from the gnawing guilt of work wanting to be done and me just watching it.

I nearly started a few weeks ago; I had the shady but exposed spot planned in KLCC park (in the presence of the Petronas Twin Towers) and the timing set for the peak lunch time rush. I dusted of my speech bubble and got ready to make the repairs. My wife saw it and said "No f***ing way are you doing that here, or you can just get on the plane home". OUCH.

So I sat on it a while. By chance I meet a barrister and ask his opinion. I'm stalling of course. I've read about something in Malaysia called the Internal Security Act, and I am unsure if what I am planning is allowed by law - so I seek reassurance from his generous expertise. My hopes are raised when he sees no reason why not. But then I am deflated after he refers to a colleague who practiced as a government lawyer; he advises me against; I will probably be picked up by the CID and questioned. Of course, now I have to "think about it", from a "logistical standpoint", you understand. It's not that I'm scared of being detained; I have every confidence that my unpolitical, non-commercial, secular social experiment will get the big OK. It's just that I might end up being detained for hours that a responsible house-husband might not be able to afford. I'm still stalling, of course.

Before it consumes me I will be out there. My wife is travelling so I'll seize the moent this week - always ask forgiveness. I feel supported by her and I know it is my procrastination she really objects to. So tomorrow I buy some touch up paint, a shady umbrella and a stock of bottled water and off I go. My sign will be sated and I will start once again walking in my own shoes.

Question: who will hold me accountable for making this happen - I need an e-volunteer, please?

Question: what are you stalling on right now?

Joy, For Me, Is ....

2008-08-29T06:15:00.001+08:00

Posted with LifeCast

Enjoyable Delay

2008-08-29T02:31:00.001+08:00

Dreaming on a United flight from Calgary to Denver, where I am enjoying the memory of a delayed plane because of technical problems and also accomodating passengers from cancelled flights. The attendants were so human, as they squeezed luggage, wafted cooling air from hand-held, newly reassigned safety leaflets to counter sweltering inboard temperatures, and continuously acknowledged us for our continued support, cooperation and patience. What's more, these sky angels were dressed to the nines in polyester and wool, a testing combination even on milder days, and yet remaining gracious and encouraging. I was grateful for this experience because, not only did I witness mastery of public service, but also experinced me suspending my own superficial needs for being on time, instead allowing myself to be a participant in an unfolding story. I suggested the wafting and our attendant wafted; it wasn't just our heat she cooled but also our and her frustration. New possibilities unfolded for fun and lightness, even enjoyment of a predicament which, as time drew on and the take off still wasn't happening, would otherwise heighten nervousness about missing connecting flights.

What I'm dreaming of is spaces and interactions which are wafted by leaders stepping up, "inappropriately" used safety cards in hand, to create new possibilities for enjoyment.

P

Posted with LifeCast

Attack of the Giggles

2008-05-31T13:05:00.004+08:00

Thanks to Heidi Heyns for posting this clip on YouTube; it is a "Laughter Yoga" group at Audubon Park, New Orleans:

What if a public space could be infected with laughter at a peak time of day for passers-through? Now that would be a Joyist act.

Research sources on Joy Fear and Love

2008-05-24T22:54:00.006+08:00

I'm revisiting some email exchanges from the start of my inquiry earlier this year (2008). My inquiries led me to Dr Bonnie O'Conner, of Brown University Faculty Development in Pediatrics and she provided me with several leads, for which I am very grateful.

Here follows her email to me and I have added the links where possible to help you start your own threads:

===========March 12, 2008===============
Hi Phil -

Thanks for your inquiry, and good for you for pursuing this work! The first person that comes to mind in this regard is Candace Pert, whose book Molecules of Emotion will lay out the thoughts of an NIH scientist on the physiology and biochemistry of emotional states and responses. The place to go within the further medical literature, if you want to see their take on this is to the field of psychoneuroimmunology (try it on PubMed). As you may imagine, this is a controversial field, but gaining steadily in acceptance and getting more attention; again a good focus on physiologic models and explanations.

Herbert Benson’s work, and that of others in Mind-Body medicine, will be important, as will Jon Kabat-Zinn’s work on mindfulness-based stress reduction. The whole “alternative” field of energy medicine will be a good place to browse – see works of Tiffany Field and Janet Quinn on Therapeutic Touch and Touch therapies in general, and check out the International Society for the Study of Subtle Energies and Energy Medicine.
Also some of the following:
• Dreher & Domar, Self Nurture
• Dreher H: “A challenge to the mind-body health movement.” Advances in Mind-Body Medicine #17, 2001: 147-150
• Diener, Suh & Oishi, “Recent findings on subjective well-being.” Indian Journal of Clinical Psychology, March 1997
• Anatovsky A. Health, Stress and Coping: New Perspectives on mental and physical well-being. Anatovsky coined the term “salutogenesis” (1979), used and explained in this book. (This concept has been taken up by the Samueli Institute, q.v.)
•Smith DF, “Functional salutogenic mechanisms of the brain.” Perspectives in Biology and Medicine #45(3), 2002:319-328.
• Coleman, D (ed.) Healing Emotions (published 1997 by the Mind and Life Institute, q.v. also) - a record of the 1991 Mind and Life conference which brought together the Dalai Lama, physicians, psychologists, and meditation teachers and started an ongoing collaboration)

I would also recommend works such as Paul Farmer’s Infections and Inequalities: The Modern Plagues (1999) for perspectives on social factors and particularly entrenched social inequalities on health and well-being.

Good luck!

Cheers,
Bonnie O’C
===============

My footnotes:
Candace Pert has a wonderful podcast called The Physics of Emotion. She has also Published another book called "Everything You Need to Know to feel Go(o)d", which is premised on that we are "hard wired for bliss". She has also written many other books.

Let's Chat in the news

2008-05-22T00:16:00.013+08:00

On April 24th the local media got interested. I spent most of my 2+ hours in the park accompanied by CBC Radio One's arts reporter, John Spittal, and then by Global Television News' Gil Tucker and his cameraman. Since that time, more people are approaching me as a result.

My friend, Derek Heck (thanks) sent me this Global TV clip to share with you

and here is the CBC broadcast (Real Audiuo stream), which was aired on the Calgary Eyeopener, May 5th 2008. Shorter clips also appeared in other local news items.

Thrilling! People are approaching me for a chat just because they were exposed to the reports. John and Gil; THANK YOU very much, for the exposure and opportunity for bigger impact (whatever that might turn out to be).

Phil

An experiment in Joy; Let's Chat

2008-04-18T12:43:00.005+08:00

Spring has sprung in Calgary, the heart of Canada (potentially). So, with bearable temperatures I've embarked on my latest social experiment to see what impact can be created by having real encounters with strangers. I hope that by demonstrating the power of connection and dialogue, people will be inspired to get curious instead of judgemental about their fellow human being.

Today was day 2 of many more, where I sit with my sign near a busy lunchtime spot for Calgarians and invite passers-by to spend some time and chat about whatever they want.

I am careful to not have an agenda; I am not selling anything. In that respect I will only give my first name, enough to establish some trust and I'll discuss whatever anyone wants with them.

When I get more data, I'll report here.
UPDATE: Let's Chat attracted local media

Exciting! - A proposal for Joyism from 2000

2008-03-28T13:25:00.003+08:00

Thomas Daffern is a Canadian born poet, philosopher and author, based in the UK (Wales), where he is Director of the International Institute for Peace Studies and Global Philosophy (IIPSGP).

In 2000, he published a philosophical paper called "Joyism not Terrorism: Towards an Alternative Non-violent Revolutionary Epistemology" and the title captures the essence of my discovery and the prerogative for Joy. The paper can be found contained in Daffern's book of collected works, "Wisdom Affairs: Towards a Cartography of Enlightenment, Enlovement and Joyism for Wisdom Lovers", available at lulu.com as a bound copy or a download.

I'm going to read a copy. I'm also going to speak with him. I will write up what I discover, here.

Just found - Joyologists on the www - a new special interest group March 2008

2008-03-27T03:26:00.007+08:00

Joyologists, at www.joyology.org are people who describe themselves:

"A joyologist, then would be one who studies joylogy. Frankly our world could use a great many joyologists whose mission in life is to actively research the effects of discussing and sharing joy. The research could branch out into how joy effects our careers, family lives, and friendships. The very act of doing the active research should spread jubilation throughout the world and bring about positive results. What a fun job! All one needs to start with is to share the words joyism, joyology, and joyologist with others. Use the words daily and make them a part of the world's vocabulary."

And I am excited to find them on the web. They created their website, it seems, just a week or two ago, so perhaps this is another sign that a shift in our paradigms is wanting to happen. Anyway, I have signed up and hope to be accepted into that small community.

Enjoy Now
Phil

Joyism from 2006 - here's another blog!

2008-03-27T02:06:00.003+08:00

At the beginning of 2006 this Blogger penned several pieces and then seems to have fizzled out. Where are you now, "Pope Magniminimus Omnibus Short Bus XIII", who are you now and what are you moving?
Despite "the Pope's" discouraging name, he/she wrote some very thought provoking pieces, including:

The Ultimate Truth of JOY (February 2006), and

"We are one being - literally (individuality and separation is an illusion)
There is enough - but not distributed with equality or fairness at the moment (this will change)"

JOYISIM is my personal war on terroism (February, 2006)

"I think the answer to terrorisim is JOYISIM. I think that we have enough non-profit charitable organizations. Government programs all tripping over their own feet. ... I say we cut out the middleman. Go direct to the root of the suffering. INDIVIDUAL to INDIVIDUAL."

And "The Pope" also provided some links, all now defunct, unfortunately. Perhaps my writing what I am at this time is the sign that the time is ripe for a resurgence of the idea. Thank you The Pope; I hope we'll connect.

Joyism, a new creed

2008-03-14T02:40:00.004+08:00

Yayyyy! I am not the first to publish a theory of "joyism". Perhaps my discovery of joyism is one of those creations that happen simultaneously across the planet in diverse, unlinked populations. (what's the term for that, anybody?)

Dax Moi, I just discovered your page on The Magic Hundred, a social neworking site. And you proposed in your blog that "Joyist" be an entry in the dictionary. It will, my friend, it will. As more of us pick up on this antitheses of terrorism, Joyism, the term will build as a compelling, encouraging way to create social shifts based on experiencing JOY.

So what is a Joyist? A joyist is a person who engages in acts of joy, in order to spread joy in a population and create shifts in focus, shifts in activity, shifts in perception, and increase in choice.

A joyist can act in a small scale or large scale way, for example facilitating a joyful experience for another person, or by creating an act of mass joy.

There is a huge opportunity, folks. Joyism as a way of bringing about shifts has no language. It is based on acts of love. Love is abstract and prone to misappropriation for religious or political agendas, and so creates cyclical, pointless dicussion. Joy is an experience all humans share and all humans want.

What would it be to redefine our world on joyist principles and methods? But what are those, exactly? Hmmmm.

Let's create them from scratch, using the principle that there's nothing new under the sun. A great place to start will be to ask some questions.

Here are some that come to my mind:
"What can terrorists teach us and how do we 180-degree the doctrines into a Joyist way"?
"What is the human experience of Joy, behaviours, physiology, belifs, impacts, so that we may know when joy is present?" i.e. so that we know when we are increasing joy and have a feedback structure.
"What is the opposite of Joy and the human experience of that?" for similar reasons to the question before.
"What would be joyist ways of creating mass shift?"

That's all for now.
P

On Leading, Availability and Love

2008-03-07T13:54:00.005+08:00

Human love, in its purest form, is quite simply making your whole self available to the growth of another human. In order to notice the human needs of another, you must first notice and acknowledge the human need in your self; in other words make yourself available to be loved and love yourself.

Loving has nothing to do with being "hard" or "soft", "weak" or "strong". Nor is it connected with giving everything away, including your wealth or your power, although we often make up that it is. We can still be hard on someone yet see them kindly and want for them their biggest, most beautiful self. The impact and eventual outcome of such an interaction is affected by the way the one sees the other and by how the other feels seen, mutually.

It takes courage to love; courage to BE different. To love is a radical act. To love is to invest, where the risk is insignificant in reality, if not in your imagination; the cost is only in terms of your fear of losing control, and the yield is very high. Increasing staff and client retention challenges and issues of loyalty and sickness all tell me there is a strong case for love in business. If you think your organisation is slow to adapt or seems timid or ossified, there is a strong case for seeding love there. Being a leader in these cases is about being the first to break the mold, the first to BE out-of-the-box, the first to create movement.

YOU and I are both responsible: lead by example.

On Ghosted Wing

2008-03-07T02:47:00.000+08:00

I came across this scribble in an old notebook and thought I'd share it. I wrote this as I noticed my feelings towards meeting an old friend for the first time, someone with whom I'd become Certified as a Professional Co-Active Coach and only met on the telephone. I was in the approach to San Francisco on a connecting flight out of Seattle:

On Ghosted Wing:

Mid air turbulance,

Opera in one ear,

Suzanne and William,

Flying through dark,

Gently descending.

Let others streak and amble,

ghost wing flickering

A man comes,

On ghost wing grinding,

To a place of trees and gulls,

And magic,

Salt and twig and feather,

Brazen stone and white Hart's play,

And mermaid's song,

There renewed.

On ghosted wing

Pale spirit comes.

Phil Durnford, Calgary, November 2005

Recipe for Borrowing Love, Breathing Love - an offered practice

2008-03-07T02:24:00.000+08:00

On Breathing, a recipe:

Allow stillness,

Allow quiteness,

Allow commitment,

Breathe forgivingly and notice,

Wait,

When readiness happens,

Commit to breathe out every last breath of air in your lungs,

As if the life of the World depends upon it,

Pivot gently about your lower gut and gladly give back your last air to the Universe,

Know that it is returning to nature,

As the river blends with the ocean,

And feel the gratitude for its gift

Upon giving it up, make a choice;

Your next breath will be an inhalation of Love,

With an accepting heart,

Breathe Love through fresh and willing nostrils,

Notice and enjoy the emotion of wanting,

Open the doors of your heart's hall wide at each end,

And allow the Love to pass through,

Lighting hearth and bringing laughter,

Bring the Breath Love into your swelling belly,

Until you can take no more,

Decide to stop,

Be still,

Take delight,

Notice your intentions for the World,

For nature,

For people known and unknown,

Allow Gratitude,

Allow Forgiveness,

Allow what's wanting to happen

Allow commitment,

Allow stillness,

Allow readiness,

Wait,

When readiness happens,

Breathe Love with your intentional commitment,

Back to the Universe

repeat the cycle.

Repeat until you are repleat.

try it, post what you experience.

Love and peace

Reflection: Love is on Loan

2008-03-07T02:02:00.001+08:00

The Universe provides us with free, unlimited access to its lending library of Love. As it happens, we are all already members. Only thing is, many of us threw out the reminder notice with the junk mail.

Love is the meta knowledge that feeds our curiosity, learning, application and, ultimately, human progress. So what do we do with the meta knowledge that we borrow from the Universal meta library? We nourish our soul and we excrete our agonies and ecstacies. Nourishment fills us with possibilities for human interconnection, co-creativity, procreation and growth. Excretion lays the foundation for the development of humankind and for the planet, as would a river delta lay down silt on the continental shelf, without any design on the wonderous landscapes or ocean features that silt will become, possibly eons into the future, possibly during the next storm.

Jumping out of the sedimentological metaphor back to excretion, and asking a rhetorical question: who keeps their poo?

So our opportunity, people, is to borrow Love, nourish ourselves, share an apply the meta knowledge and, upon returning the Love back to the Universe, lay down our agonies and ecstacies, knowing that they contribute to the evolution of the planet and of humankind.

I love mixing metaphors, or rather I love blending them.

Have a beautiful day!