Love, Laughter, and a Touch of Insanity

Dear Silent Visitor in Dallas

2012-02-26T21:13:00.001-06:00

Dear Frequent Silent Visitor in or around Dallas,

I probably feel as awkward writing this post as you feel reading it. Or maybe you'll think I'm not talking to you. I am, but the problem is that I don't know who I'm talking to. All I know is that you visit a few times a week and seem to target the monthly update posts. Which makes me hope that I know you in person, but if I don't...well, I'm starting to weird myself out a bit. At this point all I have is a network provider to go by.

I hate watching my blog stats closely, but ever since I began recognizing the patterns of your visits I've been watching for your network provider to pop up. And wondering--at first I thought you might be my dad and then perhaps an ex-coworker who has a baby a few months younger than mine. Or maybe you popped over from Facebook. Maybe I don't know you at all. I wish I did. Are you embarrassed to tell me that you read my blog? Honestly I don't care. I just want some piece of mine at this point.

If you feel that this might be you--if you visit but never say anything, I urge you to send me an email.

I wish that this post wasn't a serious post, but it is. I don't know what else to do--the feeling of being watched makes me feel really helpless and if it continues then all shreds of the babe will disappear from this blog.

I appreciate your understanding.

Operation Crockpot Part 2: Lessons Learned

2012-02-25T07:46:00.000-06:00

A little over a month ago I announced my intentions to use my kitchen gadgets in 2012. I have so many cool things in the kitchen but many of them I don't utilize as much as I could or should. First up was the crockpot.

This post is Part Two of Two - Lessons Learned. Part One contains The Meals.

Personal Crockpot Revelations
• The crockpot can be used for so much more than just cooking pot roast! And more than stew!
• Cooking meats in the crockpot, even for really extended periods of time, result in such tender and yummy meat.
• Crockpots are better for main dishes rather than desserts, at least based on this month long experiment. But I’m bound and determined to keep trying!
• Nothing smells as good as something cooking in the crockpot all day (or night).
• The cook times are still somewhat of an issue for me (being gone for hours during the day and not eating until late), but weekend cooking for the weekdays helps a lot.
• Using the crockpot is a great way to cook a huge meal and freeze half for later.
• If a recipe says to line the bottom of crockpot with parchment paper, don’t use wax ;)
• I’ve said it before, but using the crockpot still requires work—it’s just a matter of when you do that work.

Crockpot Tips and Tricks
• Read the entire recipe before doing anything else. Otherwise you might be surprised by some prep cooking. Yes, you can fix and forget with the crockpot, but you still have to fix! And sometimes there are steps at the end as well.
• If you plan to start the crockpot in the morning, assemble your ingredients and chop any vegetables the night before.
• If cooking something like bread, strata, or cake, use parchment paper to line the bottom of the crockpot. Determine the size by placing the crockpot on top of the parchment paper and outlining the parchment around the bottom of the pot with pencil. Then fold in half and cut your circle/oval.
• Line the rim of your crockpot/lid with papertowel to catch any condensation from dropping in the dish when lifting the lid (more useful when cooking items that are more solid like cakes).
• I haven’t tried but I’ve heard that outlet timers work in a pinch if you need to delay start your crockpot.
• Crockpot liners do wonders for a quick cleanup. Like seriously miraculous inventions.
• No matter how tempted you are, don’t lift the crockpot lid unless you have to—it will add time to your cooking.
• Try cooking the meal overnight and reheat when you’re reading to eat again—this achieves that “second day” taste without having to wait two nights.
• If your recipe made ten billion servings or you’re just cooking for one or two, freeze half of it now to eat later.

What tips and tricks for the crockpot do you have to share?

So where do I go from here?
Even though my Operation Use My Crockpot has come to a close, I still have so many things that I want to try in the crockpot! Both SuziQ and Allie recommended a pork tenderloin recipe I want to try; CJ gave me directions to crockpot Swiss Steak; I want to continue to experiment with steel cut oat recipes for breakfast, I’d love to make some pasta sauce to then keep on hand in the freezer. There are oodles of recipes online and even a few more that I have bookmarked in my cookbooks. Several of you mention adding red wine to your pot roasts, something that I’ve never tried but sounds so delicious. And then I’d like to try making my brisket recipe with half the liquid I normally use (in other words what the original recipe for the oven calls for). I’d also like to try some side dishes and maybe even some warm beverages!

And I still have questions and things to learn!
• How do I translate a recipe I would normally cook in the oven to the slow cooker?
• Do I really need to brown the meat before tossing into the crockpot (which I typically don’t do), or is this just for coloring and to drain a bit of fat?
• I was taught that I need a lot of liquid to cook in the crockpot—I’ve always drowned my meats in liquid but maybe I don’t need to?

Next month’s Operation Use My Kitchen Gadgets will be…..

Food Processor!

I actually just purchased my food processor a few months ago when I started making Elle’s baby food. The blender wasn’t cutting it and the actual appliances for making baby food are a joke (way too freaking small!). So, I use my food processor for…making baby food. And that’s it.

What do you use your food processor for? I know people LOVE these appliances but other than chopping veggies (can I chop more than one kind at a time?) and possibly making bread crumbs or grating cheese (I usually buy the pre-grated cheese), I’m not sure how to really utilize this machine. Since Elle will probably be off the purees in a few months, I want to avoid letting this appliance collect dust.

I’ll be back with a full report of Operation Use My…Food Processor on March 31st. Anyone want to join me? I can promise lots of tweets. ;)

And make sure to tune in next Saturday as Scott and I have gone crazy and will be going au natural for the month of March!

Every weekend, Beth Fish Reads hosts Weekend Cooking. "Weekend Cooking is open to anyone who has any kind of food-related post to share: Book (novel, nonfiction) reviews, cookbook reviews, movie reviews, recipes, random thoughts, gadgets, fabulous quotations, photographs." Hope you'll join the fun!

Operation Crockpot Part 1: The Meals

2012-02-24T06:00:00.002-06:00

A little over a month ago I announced my intentions to use my kitchen gadgets in 2012. I have so many cool things in the kitchen but many of them I don't utilize as much as I could or should. First up was the crockpot.

This post is Part One of Two - The Meals. Part Two contains lessons learned and tips and tricks as well as my next Operation Use My...

Can I admit that I’m a bit sad that my Operation Use My Crockpot time is up? I’m officially calling the Operation a success, and even though not everything that I made turned out, I learned so much and still have so many things I want to try in the crockpot. While this particular chapter of Operation Use My… is over, I’m by no means done using the crockpot.

And I’d love to thank you all for your support for the challenge over the past month. You tweeted and emailed me recipes, sent me crockpot websites and links, pinned things for me on Pinterest, and of course helped me troubleshoot issues or questions I had during the journey.

And can you believe that I made TEN things?

Operation Use My Crockpot Experiments:

Ham and Cheddar Brunch Strata

(recipe via Crockpot Made Simple)

Scott liked this one more than I did but I'd try making it again. This was my first non-meat type recipe in the crockpot and I wasn't sure what to expect! Definitely worth a second shot.

==============

Glazed Cinnamon Coffee Cake

(recipe via Crockpot Made Simple)

First attempt at something "baked" in the crockpot. You can tell from the pictures that the edges burned a bit. The inside was either really moist or undercooked. I'm going with moist. It tasted great, though!

==============

Asian Beef Stew (forgot to take a picture!)

(recipe via Crockpot Made Simple)

Was good but not great. Scott did not like this one at all. The taste was unusual and neither of us could put our finger on what it was we didn't care for. Maybe the orange juice or Chinese 5 spice? Ah well.

==============

Chicken Marsala

(recipe via Crockpot Made Simple)

Chicken was so tender and juicy! This recipe did require a bit of prep but wasn't too terribly intensive. Only took two hours to cook and the leftovers were good but not great. On the fence overall.

==============

Hot Fudge Cake

(recipe via Crockpot Made Simple)

Plain and simple this was a *disaster* of epic proportions. After more than the suggested cooking time, it was still just a pot of runny chocolately mess. So bummed about this one!

==============

Chicken Stock

I've yet to use the chicken stock but it made about 10 cups and all of it is in the freezer. When I did a little taste test I thought it tasted a bit bland but then I realized it's because it doesn't have all (or any) of the sodium of the canned stuff. This stock stewed in the crockpot for 24 hours!

==============

Chicken Taco Chili

(recipe via skinnytaste.com)

Quite possibly my favorite of the bunch! Either this or the BBQ Pulled Pork. So freaking delicious! (Thanks Merd) I'm hoping to add the leftovers to the freezer as I'm sure it'll reheat wonderfully. We ate with rice but will eat with chips next time. I added a bit of cayenne pepper for kick.

==============

BBQ Pulled Pork

(recipe via Goodhousekeeping)

Yummmmmy! This is tied with the Chicken Taco Chili as my favorite. This Pulled Pork is so flavorful and came out so tender--the perfect combo of sweet and tangy. I froze a bag and everything defrosted and reheated beautifully. Will definitely make this gem again!

==============

White Chicken Chili

(recipe via Lu @ Regular Rumination- recipe can be found in comments)

This yummy White Chicken Chili was so easy to make! It did require a bit of prep (sauteing onions and jalapenos), but it helped provide a richer taste to the soup. I had plenty of leftovers for this so I have a few bags in the freezer. When I reheat I'll probably add a bit of salsa or Rotel cuz I like it spicy. ;)

==============

Apple Cinnamon Steel-Cut Oats

(recipe via The Yummy Life)

This was my first attempt at cooking something in the crockpot overnight (other than the chicken stock). The cooking time is 7 hours and so at 5:00 the crockpot set to warm. There was a bit of burning around the edges of my crockpot, but nothing that couldn't just be scraped away. Everything else worked wonderfully! The taste is a bit blander than I'm used to (since I always eat the Maple and Brown Sugar instant packets). The post I linked to says to reheat with a bit of milk, but my leftovers were so moist that I didn't need any milk. Very good reheated!

==============

So there you have it--ten things in the crockpot. With so many more ideas!!

I really wanted to highlight all of the other links that you guys provided me, but I'm still kind of overwhelmed by your outpouring. If you are interested in more (untried by me) links and recipe ideas, please head to my original Operation Use My Crockpot post.

What is your favorite thing to cook in the crockpot? Do any of these look tempting to you?

Make sure you tune in tomorrow for the lessons learned and tips and tricks!

Tagged for Awesomeness!!

2012-02-23T06:00:00.002-06:00

Wahhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeee! (I may have just had a huge slice of Strawberry Rhubarb Pie and am running on a sugar high). Hmmmm, and if it wasn't so late I probably should have just vlogged this. But anywho.

So, Trisha tagged me for the 11 Question Meme 10 days ago. I immediately copied her questions into a draft post and then got sidetracked. Since then I've been tagged by Lisa and Chris. So now instead of 11 questions, I have 33. But I'm trying to keep my answers as short as possible. And I did want to use lots of pictures for funsies but...that sugar high is eventually going to lead to a crash. (pic below shamelessly stolen from Care).

Meme!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rules
1 You must post the rules.
2 Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3 Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
4 Let them know you’ve tagged them!

Chris's Questions:
1. What's the best book you've read so far in 2012?
I've only finished one book. Ha! Affinity by Sarah Waters. Including audo? Bossypants by Tina Fey

2. What's your most anticipated book of 2012 so far?
The Stand by Stephen King. Woot!

3. What's your favorite song or album of 2012 (doesn't have to be from this year)?
Vampire Weekend! Ok so a band, but lovesies

4. What's the best thing to happen to you so far this year?
The Bradford Pears have started blossoming this week.

5. What's the worst thing to happen to you so far this year?
Realizing how many calories are in the Starbucks iced lemon pound cake

6. What's the best piece of news you've heard not concerning you so far this year? This could be a political event, a news item that made you smile, something that happened to a friend, etc.
Family trip to Hawaiiiiiiiiiii! Oh wait, that does concern me.

7. What's the best thing you've cooked/eaten/best recipe you've saved so far this year?
ZOMG Chocolately Trifle.

8. What's your biggest goal for this year and how's it working for you so far?
I've used my crockpot a crapload of times so far!

9. Have you discovered any new to you blogs yet this year that you're loving?
This chick makes the most beautiful free-motion quilting

10. What's your favorite thing you've seen on the screen so far this year? This could be a tv show/music video/movie/documentary, etc.
Once Upon a Time on ABC.

11. Do you plan on doing any gardening in 2012? Come on it's me...you knew there'd be some gardening in here :p
The square foot gardening box is made! Just need to fill it.

Lisa asked me:
1. Could you eat the same thing for lunch every day? What would it be?
Yes and sometime I do. Typically SmartOnes meals.

2. How many library books do you have checked out right now?
Zero. Except for one digital audiobook if that counts.

3. Do you feel strongly about specific music? or more of a music in general type person?
Music in general. I love music but all different kinds.

4. What is your favorite brick and morter retail store?
Half Price Books. or Target.

5. What is your favorite online store?
Amazon (Oh stop with the glares...I rarely online shop).

6. What is your favorite moment of heartstopping romantic tension? (Book, movie, music, tv, real life, art, anywhere.)
At the end of Pride & Prejudice (Kiera Knightly movie) in the fields (fwd about 2 min in).

Just...love. LOVE.

7. What is the first book you remember reading?
Pinocchio when I was about 8?

8. Are you creative in any way? How so?
You would say yes. I would say no. I can create but I am not innovative.

9. Not counting your family, pets, and vital personal documents/pictures, what one thing would you save in a fire?
Elle's quilt.

10. What is your favorite type of vacation (museums, beach, cabin, mountains, theme parks)?
Roadtrip!!! Or any type of trip where I see lots of different places.

11. What is the most surprising or unexpected thing you've done in the last 12 months?
Um...or will do? Dracula Ballet on Saturday. Can't wait!

Trisha wanted to know:

1. What is your favorite piece of art?
The upside down horse my sister drew for me (ok, she didn't draw it FOR me, but still cool right?)

2. What literary character do you think would make an awesome world leader?
Bridget Jones

3. What color do you think should be outlawed from clothing?
Burnt Orange.

4. Hats. Yes or no?
Hello Don Draper.

5. What contemporary novel should be added to the high school curriculum?
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

6. What book featuring real people do you think could work if the characters were switched to animals?
If Brothers Karamazov featured animals, everyone would be asses. Ba-dum dum.

7. Genetically designed humans. Hell yes or absolutely not?
Absolutely not. Ever. Though it does make for a great book!

8. What book would you like to see get parodied a la Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?
Gone with the Wind.

9. What book would you absolutely hate to see get parodied?
Brothers Karamazov or Ulysses.

10. TV. Awesome source of entertainment or horrifying time suck?
Awesomely horrifying, entertaining time suck.

11. What literary character should immediately jump off the page and into your bed?
Yes, it's still true.

=========================

My Questions! *Throws Confetti*
1. What app do you love above all others? Not an app person? What about website?
2. Describe your dream profession (sky is the limit).
3. Appetizers or dessert?
4. If you could be BFF with any fictional character, who would you choose?
5. I say BLUE. What immediatley comes to mind?
6. Favorite song to blast and sing in your car with the windows down?
7. What fashion fad makes you hang your head in shame?
8. What are your thoughts on 80s Hair Bands--specifically Monster Ballads?
9. What is a book you wanted to throw across the room? What is one you wanted to hug?
10. Imagine you are an aerobics instructor--what song must be on your playlist?
11. What's for dinner tonight?
Bonus: What's your favorite go-to lipstick (including color)

And I'm tagging...
Meredith!
Paxton!
Rae!
Laura!
Michelle!
Kate!
Unfinished Person!
Kristen M!
Kimberly-lala-Girl!
Jenny Girl!
Melody!
Elise!

(yes, some of you do not blog or you may not want to blog this. Feel free to leave your answers in the comments. Please and thank you). AND if I did not tag you (probably because you've already been tagged, please feel free to share your answers--particularly #6 and #8 and #10 and...well, all of them.

YEEEEEEEEEEHAW THURSDAY!!!

Wordless Wednesday: You Write the Caption

2012-02-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

Freeze!! - Weekend Cooking

2012-02-18T06:00:00.000-06:00

When I went back to work after maternity leave, I knew that my cooking habits would need to change if I still wanted to spend time with the baby in the evenings and have a homecooked meal. I had heard people talk about making meals on the weekends and then eating those meals throughout the week and even a bit about freezing meals to eat later. Since Scott and I typically don't eat dinner until Elle has gone to bed (a habit we'll eventually need to change), we try to create dinners that don't require a lot of time. And yes, I say "we" because these days Scott does as much cooking, if not more, than I do.

In an effort to become healthier (eating outside of the box), less wasteful, and more organized/efficient, I've started taking a long hard look at make-ahead freezer meals. The catch, I'm finding, is that being organized takes a lot of planning and upfront [ahem] organization. Sometimes just finding the time to plan is difficult—the lists of meals to make and then the list of ingredients to make the meals and then the most efficient way to cook a few meals in bulk during the weekend.

Surely I'm not the only one who is both intrigued and overwhelmed by the idea of make-ahead meals. But at this juncture, the intrigue is definitely winning. Just like with the crockpot—it still takes work to have a yummy meal—it's just a matter of when you do the work. Last weekend Scott and I made three different soups and it was fantastic to have our meals ready to reheat, fantastic to have six more meals in the freezer, and fantastic to provide my mom's household with a night of soup.

I do have a make-ahead cookbook (thanks CJ) that I have been using as reference but haven't had chance to make more than a couple of recipes from the book. Rachael Ray had a make-ahead feature in her Everyday Cooking magazine a few months ago (thanks Lisa) that has some great tips. And if you're on Pinterest then there's a big chance you've seen some of the pins discussing freezer meals. I'm glad I'm not the only one on this homemade/efficiency kick!

Right now in my freezer I have two bags of Pasta e Fagioli (minus the pasta), four bags of white chicken chili (thanks for the recipe Lu!), two bags (about two cups each) of roasted and shredded chicken breasts, one bag of pulled pork, and 10 cups of chicken stock made from the leftover bones from the roasted chicken breasts. Even if I only use one of those items a week, that would be 7 weeks of one pre-cooked recipes and two weeks with a starter (the shredded chicken). I'd say that's a pretty awesome thing.

I've also started a list of things that I would love to have on stock in my freezer (let me know if you've had trouble/luck with any of these items):

meatballs, cookie dough, banana bread, rolls, shredded pork/beef, pasta sauce, pot roast?, pizza dough…?

There's still so much to learn and experiment with, so I'm hoping that you'll help me out with any experiences you've had with freezing meals. What has worked? What hasn't worked? What are your favorite go-to meals in the freezer? Is it better to cook ahead or freeze things raw? What do I need to add to my list above?

And if you're wondering about Operation Use My…Crockpot, things are awesome! I've made six crockpot recipes so far and have a list of several more that I'd like to try. I'll provide my report next Saturday and will hopefully have tried a few more recipes by then including some overnight cooking. Big thanks to everyone who has passed on recipes for me to try.

Bossypants - Tina Fey

2012-02-16T06:00:00.001-06:00

Title: Bossypants

Author/Narrator: Tina Fey
Published: 2011 Pages: 277
Audio Duration: 5 hrs, 32 mins
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.5/5

Why I listened (aka Mindless Rambling): When Scott and I started watching The Office a few years ago, we would always see the first three minutes of 30 Rock before our DVR cut out. I loved those three minutes and every single time without fail I would tell Scott "Oooooh, I wish I watched that show." It got to be a big joke between us but I never wanted to pick up the show without starting from the beginning.

During my first few weeks of motherhood when it felt like I was literally nursing around the clock, Scott and I splurged and bought all of the 30 Rock seasons on Apple TV. At 22 minutes a piece I could fit two episodes into each nursing session and watching the show made feeling like a zombie that much more bearable. Yes, as I imagined I would, I loved 30 Rock. And as soon as Tina Fey came out with Bossypants, I rushed out and grabbed a hardcopy of the book.

And then I let it sit on my shelf. And then I started to read how great the audiobook was. And I started to regret buying the book instead of the audio. And then I realized that the audio is only 5.5 hours long and my library has a digital copy I could borrow. So then I stopped fretting about it and requested from the library. And then I smiled. Just like I do for the entire 22 minute episode of 30 Rock (no, seriously).

Bossypants in Short: Tina Fey, comedienne extraordinaire of 30 Rock and Sarah Palin impersonation fame, revisits her awkwardness growing up and how she blossomed into...an awkward adult.

Thoughts in General: One of the reasons why I love Tina Fey (or her character Liz Lemon on 30 Rock) is because she shows that it is OK to be flawed and human. She has a self-deprecating humor that I find endearing and easy to relate to and I love laughing at her (sometimes with her) while also laughing at a piece of myself. While I am not funny, I would like to think that if I were funny that this is the kind of "I am not perfect but am totally ok with it" funny I would be. I realize that not everyone finds this humorous and I absolutely understand how some people have really enjoyed this book and others not so much. Just like I'll say to Scott, "Oh I love this show, it makes me so happy. Do you love it, too?" He usually just chooses not to respond.

That said, I did not love all of Bossypants. I actually questioned my enjoyment several times during the first hour or so of the audio. I did not want to hear about terrible awkward teenage things like menstruating or making it to first base. I was afraid that this would be like Bedwetter by Sarah Silverman. I wasn't even terribly interested when Fey discussed her time at Second City though there were certainly many great laugh-out-loud moments. I really clicked with the audio when she moved onto Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock--even though I'm not a big fan of SNL. And I died when she started talking about motherhood, breastfeeding, and being a working mom.

Bottom Line: I've heard a lot of raving and a lot of criticism for this book. Obviously I'm leaning more towards the raving (though I think my raving is more about Tina Fey and 30 Rock thank about the book), but I can see where the criticism comes from. I definitely think this is a book more catered to women. Certainly more catered towards fans of 30 Rock or SNL. There is a bit of language and sex and other tasteless humor but I never felt offended or uncomfortable--though I wouldn't want to listen to this while Grandma is in the car with me. So, I recommend with a bit of hesitancy. Though if you are not a woman, a fan of Tina Fey or 30 Rock, I am doubly interested in your opinion of this one!

A Note on the Audio: Fan-freaking-tastic. I do have a paper copy of the book and I would like to think that I'll read it one day, but having listened to the audio I just can't imagine how Tina's humor translates to the written word. Her tone and asides and inflection are all perfect. This is definitely a laugh out loud kind of book (so take caution if you dare to listen at work).

Have you read/listened to this one? What did you think?

Wordless Wednesday: I Heart You

2012-02-15T06:00:00.000-06:00

A Day for Silent Visitors to Say Hi

2012-02-14T00:00:00.003-06:00

Did you know there is a designated De-Lurking day? Well there is and in typical Trish fashion I missed it. So I’m using today, Valentine’s Day, the day of louuuurve, instead. Mostly because I used my one good Valentine’s Day story last year and have decided I’m not going to talk about Bossypants until Thursday.

A little over two years ago, when I was still at Trish’s Reading Nook, I had a Silent Visitor Unveil day and was really surprised at how many people stepped up and said that they regularly read my blatherings but didn’t comment for one reason or another. This was both flattering and disconcerting to me at the same time. Flattered because I’m always surprised that you continue to come back for more ramblings but disconcerted because I don’t want anyone feeling uncomfortable or shy about commenting.

I’m of two minds when it comes to commenting. Mostly I love it and wish that I could do more of it. I can typically find something to say after I’ve read a post and I love letting the person know that I read what blogger wrote by leaving a comment. Sadly there is no longer enough time to read and comment on all the blogs and posts that I subscribe to. But in the end, how do we know that anyone is reading if no one tells us. Plus I just love the interaction of talking books with other bookies.

On the other hand, I’ve started subscribing to more and more quilting, crafting, homemaking, and photography blogs. The funny thing about these circles is that they are very similar to the book blogging circles—all the way down to the drama. Even though I read some of these blogs quite regularly and love them as much as many of the book blogs I read, I feel weird commenting. Maybe because I feel like I’m not quite part of the “conversation,” or because I’m not a quilting/crafting/homemaking/photography blogger, or because I think that I’m not really adding anything by leaving my mark. What’s one more comment and why would so and so care when I’m just an inconsequential blip on the blog?

So yes, I get it. I have become a lurker of sorts. Sadly as I blog less and less about books (Bossypants on Thursday guys!!), I also have begun lurking at some of your blogs. Skimming the bookish posts but not having a whole lot to add to the discussion. And as I’ve read personal posts on the blogs that I lurk on and wish that I could comment but feel weird about it, I’ve wondered if some of my readers feel the same. I’m overly open with y’all. I know this. And I talk to you guys as if I’ve known you forever (we are going on five years!). But please feel free to jump right in as if you’ve been here all along! YOU are my audience.

So…without any further ado…

On this day of lovey dovey squishy puppy cupcake pudding, come tell me your favorite dessert!

And I’d love to know your thoughts on commenting and lurking and community in general.

Oh...and Happy Valentine's Day! :)

Sunday Salon 59: Bookish Rambles

2012-02-12T08:01:00.000-06:00

Good morning, good morning the little birds say! After kind of a bleh week from feeling under the weather and a bleh week on the blog with no new posts and finally having to mark all read in my reader, I decided to stop putting the pressure on for a specific topic post for Sunday Salon and do what I do best...ramble! Mostly because I'm still not quite finished with the shelves.

For those of you curious about my book club's outcome last week--I went into the meeting with 60 pages of Love in the Time of Cholera unread. In this case I didn't mind having the ending spoiled and even though there were a few others who didn't finish the book we had one of the best discussions we've ever had. Who knew that Love in the Time of Cholera could lead to such heated discussion. When I eventually finish the book (because I will), I'll share a bit of what we discussed in book club.

So yes, I am still slowly reading Love in the Time of Cholera. But it doesn't lend itself very well to bedroom reading as it makes me fall asleep, so this week I started Kitchen Counter Cooking School as my "bedside book." I'm reading this with my mom and sisters as our "group read" for this year. I'm about 40 pages in and really enjoying it so far. Eating fresher and outside of the box has been on my mind a lot lately and I'm hoping this book will give me the push I need to put thoughts to practice! Have you read it? Has it changed the way you think about cooking?

On the listening side I'm between books. I started listening to This is Where I Leave You by Jonathon Tropper but I'm having a really tough time getting invested in the story. My cousin highly recommended it and I popped on Goodreads and saw that many of you loved it too. I'm wondering if it might be the narrator--just can't seem to get past his tone--apparently this book is supposed to be hilarious but I haven't laughed once. Normally I don't have a problem abandoning audiobooks, but this one has received so much praise!

I've also been trying to decide on a narrator for Oliver Twist. I'm torn between Simon Vance (whom I know many bloggers adore) and Martin Jarvis. I've listened to clips of both and think that their readings would lead to very different readings of the stories! Have you listened to Oliver Twist? Or any Dickens?

Well, as usual I'm having to cut off my rambles. Ha! What's on YOUR nightstand??

On the Blog:

Looking Back to Last Week
**Ooops.

Looking Forward to Next Week
Yup, still have that Bossypants up my sleeve. Would like to do a love themed week but we'll see how much time I have on hand this week. I feel like I've been spreading myself a bit thin lately and of course the first thing that goes in that case is the blog. But I've got some ideas...

What's on your agenda today? I'm going to be working on a bit of cooking ahead (chicken chili--thanks Lu and shredded chicken and maybe some chicken broth), but hopefully I'll get a few minutes to get through a few more pages of Love. Ha!

Sunday Salon 58: Pleasure Cramming for Book Club

2012-02-05T11:36:00.000-06:00

Usually I say Good Morning Saloners!! But it's almost afternoon here. I wasn't going to post a Sunday Salon today because I'm not quite finished with my shelf reorg, but I'm spending today doing something that I haven't done in a long time...reading during my "free" time.

Not cleaning (ok maybe a little sweeping/vacuuming), not cooking (except for some peas and chicken for the babe), not watching TV (except the superbowl)...ok fine...In addition to all the other things I'm doing in my "free" time today (including hopefully Zumba and a trip to Sam's for diapers), I'm also reading. Like in my LaZBoy. Like something I rarely allow myself to do anymore because there are so many other things I "should" be doing.

Why? Well, because my work book club (which I'm desperately trying to restart) is meeting on Tuesday and I'm only a little more halfway through Love in the Time of Cholera. So, I'm cramming. And I'll be shocked if I actually finish by Tuesday, but I'm going to try my damnedest.

And you know what? I'm enjoying it!! The language of the book is slow and tedious which means that it is forcing me to really drink everything in that I'm reading. I can't remember the last time I did this! And I kind of miss it! So though I will be cramming today and tomorrow night, I'll be cramming in pleasure.

Do you ever find yourself speeding through a book only to stop and start savoring instead?

On the Blog:

Looking Back to Last Week
**Last week's Have You Read These Books post left me even more confused!
**Post One of the Read More Poetry Event!
**Flying High Wordless Wednesday
**Weekend Cooking: ZOMG Chocolatey Trifle

On Chickpea Banana
Nothing this week

Looking Forward to Next Week
Bossypants!! Don't have much else planned. If I can get some pictures together than maybe a Things that Make me Ridiculously Happy Post. And I've been meaning to do a vlog for quite some time but just haven't gotten there yet--need to charge my camera battery and get that done.

Off to see how many more pages I can read before Elle wakes up from her nap...

What's going on with you today??

ZOMG Chocolatey Trifle - Weekend Cooking

2012-02-04T08:00:00.004-06:00

I fear that in 11 months you guys are going to be so sick of hearing about my "things to do in 2012." Although maybe that's also my hope...which would mean that I would be still actively conquering my "things to do in 2012." "Things to do in 2012" will henceforth be called "Things." I don't really want to call them goals because they aren't goals. They're just things.

I had a lot of foodie type Things on my list for this year - you already know about the Operation Use My Kitchen Gadgets (which is going splendidly!) and then there is the Thing to make one dessert and one new recipe (besides dessert) a month. Semi-related to the foodie Things is to make something from Pinterest.

Oh Pinterest. How I love you. I can pin all sorts of beautiful ideas and promptly forget about them because they are safely tucked away on my pinboards. But what's the point in pinning things if I'm not going to utilize the ideas?!

So when my mom's birthday came around two weeks ago, I decided that instead of making her a cake like I normally do, I'd make a yummy trifle. Original pin was from Pennies on a Platter but I've since found many similar recipes online.

Seriously guys...it was so amazingly good. And easy.

HOW??

I made a batch of brownies (chunky fudge brownies) and I baked thinly in a 9x13 baking dish. Made chocolate pudding (actually Scott did this step). Unfroze the Whipped Cream. Smashed two heath bars with my meat mallet.

And layer. Brownies (cut into small chunks), pudding, whipped cream, heath bar. Repeat. Chill for a few hours.

All who partook in the trifle raved. I just smiled at how easy the whole process was. Well, that and reached for another scoop.

See the matching smiles of excitement? (nevermind that mom was actually smiling at a surprise skype session with my sister...).

Mmmmmm! Chocolatey.

Wordless Wednesday: Flying High

2012-02-01T06:35:00.000-06:00

Getting into Poetry: Read More Poetry Event #1

2012-01-31T12:19:00.000-06:00

Lu and Kailana are hosting a Read More/Blog More Poetry Monthly Event. Today's the first day and while I had hoped on actually reading some poetry that I could then blog about...ha! what was I thinking? Anyway, Lu and Kailana were kind of enough to give some prompter questions which I have answered below. Feel free to join in the fun! January's link up post can be found on Regular Rumination.

- Your favorite poem
I've always been drawn to T.S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock." I can't remember now when I first read this poem--maybe my Freshman year of college when I took a basic English Lit survey course (before I was an English major). "Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky, Like a patient etherized upon a table..." I have since studied the poem in several courses as well as on my own and with each reading I pick up something new. One year for Christmas I received a volume of Eliot's poetry from my dad and I love that he inscripted in the front cover, "What the hell is he talking about." Ha! Yes, exactly.

- Your favorite poet
No, Eliot is not my favorite poet. I do appreciate his writing, but I wouldn't call him a favorite. Honestly it's been so long since I've studied poetry that I've forgotten my preferences. I remember liking WB Yeats and I always smile when I catch a reference to his poetry. I think if I had to absolutely pin myself to a favorite I would consider Walt Whitman. I always loved his Leaves of Grass, especially "Song of Myself."

- Do you read poetry often? Why or why not?
I don't often make time to read poetry. Ok, I never read poetry. I don't really have a good reason--maybe because completing a poem doesn't seem as satisfying as completing a book? Because reading poetry is hard work? Because it's just not as fun outside of the classroom where you have the help of an instructor to tease out all of the nuances of the poems?

- Why did you start reading poetry?
I don't know if it's fair to say I ever *started* reading poetry. I read it when assigned in class throughout grade school and then college. There were a few authors whose work I enjoyed enough to pick up my own volumes of their poetry (Plath, Whitman, Yeats, Eliot to name a few), but I've never really been big on reading poetry on my own. See above for reasons why.

- Do you ever write poetry?
I used to write poetry but I haven't in about 10 years. It was a way for me to record my feelings without having to be blatant. Does that make sense? I actually really enjoyed writing but I found it was much easier to write in my teenaged angst than it is now that my life (and self) is less confusing to me. Ha!

- Is there a poet you’ve always wanted to read but never have?
Hrmmmmm. I don't know! :)

- What do you hope to accomplish through a year of writing about poetry?
Um, read more poetry? I love language and I love words. I love word play and I love emotions. I don't have a good reason not to read poetry. I guess my hope is to maybe make some discoveries about poetry as well as brush off some of those analytical skills. After all--I'm still paying for those skills via student loans. Ha!

- Do you think you’ll read more poetry this year?
I think that's the idea. Want to join the fun??

Do you read poetry? Do you have any favorites?

Sunday Salon 57: Have You Read These Books?

2012-01-29T06:00:00.001-06:00

Good Morning! It is chilly here in Dallas but I'm still trying to figure out where our winter is. Scott spent most of the day yesterday outside building boxes for our square foot gardening. Yup--we're taking the plunge into backyard gardening. I have NO idea what we'll plant--maybe carrots, tomatoes, peppers, okra. I want to do Squash but Heather said the bugs are bad. Scott can't do lettuce so there's no point in planting any. Would love to do berries but afraid they might be difficult. Anything you recommend??

OK Ok Ok--back on topic. Books.

On Friday I mentioned that I haven't made very much progress on my bookshelf organization yet. BUT yesterday Elle took the most amazing afternoon nap and I was able to at least move a bunch of books around and pull several off the shelf. Books that I really don't know anything about--Books that I've had for years. Sooooooo, I'm hoping you'll help me!

Have You Read These Books or know the authors? Are they keepers or ditchers? Help!!!

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not - Trish Ryan
Back When We Were Grownups - Anne Tyler
Trespassers will be Baptized - Elizabeth Emerson Hancock
The Mermaid Chair - Sue Monk Kidd
The Rapture of Canaan - Sheri Reynold
For Kings and Planets - Ethan Canin

Songs in Ordinary Time - Mary McGarry Morris
The Zoo Where You're Fed to God - Michael Ventura
Big as Life - Maureen Howard
Lost and Found - Carolyn Parkhurst
Pandora - Anne Rice
Standing in the Rainbow - Fannie Flagg (she's hit or miss for me)

Graceland - Christopher Abani
A Man in Full - Tom Wolfe (among others of his I haven't read)
Let Us Now Praise Famous Men - James Agee and Walker Evans
Behind the Scenes at the Museum - Kate Atkinson
The Book of Ruth - Jane Hamilton
While I Was Gone - Sue Miller
Summerland - Michael Chabon

So---what do you say? Read any of these? Send them to the library or read them sooner rather than later?

On the Blog:

Looking Back the last Two Weeks
**On Feeling Whole Again - Handling Postpartum Depression
**Kickin' Fitness's Ass with Movin' Shakin' and Couch to 5Kin'
**Operation Use My Crockpot!
**Friday Ra-Ra-Ramblings :)

On Chickpea Banana
Nine Month Update

Looking Forward to Next Week
**Tuesday is Read More/Blog More Poetry Event hosted by Lu and Kailana. Crossing my fingers that I'll have actually read something I can post about. Ha!
**A fun flying act for Wordless Wednesday
**I've thought about talking about freezer meals for Weekend Cooking but not sure if I'm ready yet. Other than that, I got nada. :)

That's all I got! If all goes well, I'll have cooked THREE crockpot recipes this weekend. Yayyyyyyy!

What's going on with you this weekend?

Friday Ra-Ra-Rambling

2012-01-27T06:00:00.003-06:00

Am I the only one who feels a bit of guilt posting when she hasn’t had time to bloghop or respond to comments? I know I know, UGH, I know. No need to respond to the question… My Internet at home has been a bit spotty and our laptop is dying, so it’s been hard to play catch up. I was in a quilting class all day last Saturday, so fell behind a bit then, but I’m hoping to be able to steal away a few moments this weekend to catch up a bit.

Ok, moving on! Can you believe that January is almost over? I know, I don’t want to think about it either. Though I have been rockin’ out my “things I want to do in 2012.” I’ve created TWO things from Pinterest, tried a few new recipes, made two desserts, booked tickets to a cultural event (Dracula Ballet!!), and learned the basics of free-motion quilting. Oh, and I’m totally kicking ass at my Couch to 5K program. I finished one paper book (Affinity) and one audiobook (What is the What). Yup, Rockin.

Not bad for a first Free-Motion Quilting attempt!

I’ve also started counting my calories. Which sucks. And I don’t plan to do it forever but it was eye opening to me how many times I’d grab a sweet during the day. Please note, I am NOT dieting. Just being more aware. I’m using the MyFitnessPal app where I can track everything I eat and all of my exercise. It’s been really motivating so far!

Wool makes my teeth hurt. I was thinking about knitting on my way to work this morning and then I started thinking about wool and then my teeth started to hurt. That’s all.

Has anyone done a blogger survey on their blog? Thinking about doing one but am afraid it might seem vain. Or lame. Really I just want to know what you'd like to see more of and what is blah. If you want to tell me this non-anonymously, go for it. Though I did enable the anonymous comments so there's that, too (but that would be annoying). ;)

I’ve been pondering photo editing lately. Not that I have time to edit photographs but I’m often not quite satisfied when I upload pictures I’ve taken and wish that I could change just a little thing or two. I’ve been thinking about Lightroom rather than Photoshop. I don’t have a fancy Mac and don’t have any editing software. Do you use anything specific? I’m tired of having great pictures that are just a little too underexposed.

I want another orchid. I killed all FOUR of mine while I was home on maternity leave. Has anyone had any luck repotting orchids? I think this is where I might have gone wrong with one of mine (extreme lack of water did the others in).

The bookshelves. **hides in shame** I really really wanted to be finished with my bookshelf reorganization by Sunday but it’s not going to happen. So I’m extending my deadline until February 5th. I can do that with my own goals, right? I did pull all of the non-fiction books and group them together and started to pull the classics. But then I started getting confused on what is a classic and what isn’t.

Other bookshelf categories I’m contemplating: Big Freakin’ Books, Literary Fiction (yes, I know “Literary Fiction” is a dirty word…leave me alone), General Fiction, Books I Know Nothing About But Bought Anyway. I started to draft a “Have you read these books” post for last Sunday but just couldn’t find the time to finish it, so I might post it this week. See if there’s any that you give me permission to ditch. Bahahaha!

Speaking of drafts. I have a ton of one paragraph posts in my drafts folder. Does anyone else do this? Yes, and also some that just have Title: XX Author: XX, etc. Was thinking of doing a post of just my opening paragraphs and you can tell me if any of them are interesting enough for a full post. I know, I’m lame sometimes…

Still haven’t found out who in Dallas is reading my blog (other than those I know read). Is it you? Please drop me a line! Like seriously--email me or something.

If you’ve read all of this, give yourself a big pat on the back (and virtual hugs and kisses from me). Sadly I could keep rambling on and on and on and on. But I’ll spare you. The below is for Fizzy Jill who wants to know what happened to Baby Elle's Mohawk.

One more thing - Andi from Estella's Revenge wrote a fantastic post on Book Blogging Influence

Alright--I'm opening the flood gates. What rambles do YOU have today??

Nine Month Update - 1.25.2012

2012-01-25T06:00:00.008-06:00

The monthly picture this month was near impossible. I have four sets of pictures exactly like these. She'd crawl over to Scott who was supposed to be making her smile (she doesn't typically smile at me behind the camera), he'd make her laugh and set her back down, repeat...

Nine months brings so much spunk! And laughter. But also teething. And more teething. But just look at that nomnomnom!

Full Nine Month Update at Chickpea Banana. If you'd like access, I just need your email address.

Ha!!!

On another note, it's been a bit quiet over here the past week or so. I admit to feeling really overwhelmed with trying to keep up with blogging. I want to thank you all for your incredible comments on my postpartum depression post. You always manage to overwhelm me in the most touching ways. I've responded to all of your comments individually (hate how the threaded comments inflate the comment numbers...). Again, thank you.

Operation Use My...Crockpot - Weekend Cooking

2012-01-21T07:00:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking about my kitchen appliances for a while. Thinking about how I have so many cool things but rarely use them--or don't know how to use them best. Many of these appliances are ones Scott and I registered for when we were getting married. Fondue Pot!! Cool!! Of course I need a Trifle Dish! Shake Mixer? Hell ya!

Other than to cook queso (the jarred kind), we've only used our fondue pot once. Never used the trifle and I'm not sure about the shake maker. Not to mention all of the other gadgets filling our cabinets and taking space on our counters. I won't tell you guys that last night I might have bought a bundt cake tin at the grocery store... So sad Trish, so sad.

Out of this was born Operation Use My Kitchen Gadgets. Using my kitchen stuff is part of my list of things I want to do in 2012--each month I will focus on one appliance/gadget and really try to learn how to use each item to its full potential. I'm counting on your help to give me pointers!!

For the rest of January and February my focus will be the Crockpot. I just got a new one for Christmas and really want to utilize it. I've been a crockpot owner for over 10 years and have gotten really good at cooking roast but that's about it. Last Sunday I cooked a breakfast casserole and it was OK but it helped me realize that this baby can be used for so much more than just pot roast. My two limitations with the crockpot are finding the time to prep (night before? get up early?) and being gone for 11 hours and not eating for another 2 after I get home. 13 hours is a long time for anything to cook.

Do you have a crockpot? How do you use your crockpot? Any good recipes you'd recommend? Suggestions on how to get past the limitations?

The other appliances/gadgets on the list: ice cream maker, fondue pot, blender, food processor, springform pans, George Foreman grill, shake maker, and trifle dish (gah...and now bundt cake tin). One for each month (not in that order).

I'll report back at the end of February and let you know how my first OUMKG went. Anyone want to join me?!

Every weekend, Beth Fish Reads hosts Weekend Cooking. "Weekend Cooking is open to anyone who has any kind of food-related post to share: Book (novel, nonfiction) reviews, cookbook reviews, movie reviews, recipes, random thoughts, gadgets, fabulous quotations, photographs." Hope you'll join the fun!

Movin' and Shakin' and Couch to 5Kin'

2012-01-20T08:03:00.000-06:00

So you probably saw last week when I posted the Wordless Wednesday picture that Scott and I are doing the Biggest Loser together. My dear husband doesn’t need to lose any weight. He did gain some pregnancy sympathy weight but has since lost it all. On the other hand, I would like to lose 10-15 pounds to get me back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I can fit in to some things but the muffin top makes things incredibly uncomfortable. Ha!! Plus, I lost a lot of my muscle mass during the pregnancy and after and really want to tone up.

My biggest struggle with getting back into shape is time. I have worked out occasionally during lunch but it's a limited workout and I have to use the yucky building showers and then am overheated afterwards. The evenings are tough because we don't eat dinner until after Elle has gone to bed--so sometimes as late as 8! That leaves the mornings. And I'm thrilled to say that I've been heading to the gym at 5:15 in the morning. Scott literally has to kick me out of bed (my request) so that I don't just hit snooze for two hours, but I'm hoping I can make a habit out of this. Plus it means I'm not so rushed in the mornings and hopefully it can lead to some more "me" time.

To get me started in getting back into shape I'm doing the Couch to 5K program. For those of you who aren't familiar, C25K is a 9 week series of workouts to help train someone from the couch to be able to run a 5K. I'm planning on running a 5K on March 10th so this plan works out perfectly for me! Since I'm a moderately conditioned runner I haven't been following completely (first couple of weeks so far alternate running and walking but sometimes I'll skip the walk and just run at a slower pace), but it's been a lot of fun to compete against myself AND Scott!!

I'm babbling, but more the point of this post is to direct you to the Get Moving Fitness Challenge that Amanda and Jill are hosting. Yup--it's a spawn of the 100 Mile Fitness Challenge but this time YOU get to pick your goals. And it's certainly not too late to join to fun. My goal for the challenge is to work out 50 times by March 31st (the challenge deadline). This doesn't seem like much but it's about 4 workouts a week and for this recent couch potato, 4 workouts is a lot!

Super excited!! Just need to get used to being up before the crack of dawn. Ha!

On my running playlist this morning: Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. Love.

And, because I die at how cute Elle's little baby running shoes are...

How are you moving this year?

On Feeling Whole Again - Handling Postpartum Depression

2012-01-17T05:16:00.000-06:00

Bare with me...this is long but I didn't want to break up my thoughts between several posts.

I’ve toyed with the idea of writing this post for a long time and have even started a few drafts. In the end I’ve always hit “delete all” but it’s time and I’m ready. Part of my hesitancy comes from the fact that people I know personally read this blog, including a few coworkers. I would certainly hope that no one would unfairly judge, use this information maliciously, or view me any differently. Truthfully, I’ve become so good at internalizing that maybe this is a surprise? Mainly, my purpose for this post is to record my thoughts and hopefully show someone else that she is not alone. Postpartum depression is very real and very painful but it should not be a source of shame for a new mother.

When you’re pregnant you’re given all kinds of literature on the Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression. It was discussed in our hospital childbirth class and mentioned by my doctor several times. It’s absolutely normal, and often expected, for a new mother to feel the blues after having her baby. When this doesn’t go away after a few weeks, it starts to be considered postpartum depression. Before going on any further let me disclaim that I am not an expert and every individual experience is different. I can only speak for myself.

Being a new mother is one of the hardest things I have experienced in my thirty years. The teenage years sucked big time, but deep down I always knew that I could make it through. There were moments in my first few weeks of motherhood that I just didn’t see how I could ever get through it. I asked my friends when it would get better or easier. I remember sobbing to my mom several times “I can’t do this.” I could and I did and I am. By week three things were already much easier and when I went back to the doctor for my six week check-up I squeaked by with a passing grade on my postpartum depression evaluation.

I was able to laugh and smile and was feeling a lot more at ease in my new role as mother. I still had moments where I cried (a lot), but I just waited for those moments to pass and chalked most of it up to the lack of sleep. When I returned to work at twelve weeks I started to feel like my normal self again until I realized how overwhelmed I was feeling. I started taking my frustrations out on Scott and became really detached from everything and everyone, including Elle. Detached in a weird way—I never questioned my love or our decision to have a child or wished for my “old life” but it was like I couldn’t let myself fully enjoy. I felt crushed and panicked and anxious until I would finally shut down emotionally and mentally.

Things came to a boiling point about a month after I returned to work (maybe 16 weeks after Elle was born) when I realized that when Elle was napping or had gone down for bed, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I would clean like crazy—rushing around the house like mad woman—and when there was nothing left for me to do I literally stood in the kitchen with a blank stare on my face. I had completely lost myself. I looked at Scott and told him it was time. I needed to be me again. Bless his poor and patient heart—Scott agreed and I made the appointment to talk to the doctor. When I met with her I finally broke down and sobbed. Her two words of advice were to get some sleep (ha!) and take time for myself (double ha!).

It has now been almost six months since I made the decision to go talk to my doctor and I am so grateful that I did. It was incredibly difficult for me to admit that I was struggling—being a new mother is already so emotionally complicated that to admit one more fault is almost crushing, especially when I miscarried once and struggled for months to get pregnant with Elle. She is such an incredible joy and blessing--why was I feeling so...

I’ve done a little bit of reading about postpartum depression and it doesn’t necessarily seem to be related to hormones and even some men have been diagnosed with postpartum depression. Having gone through periods of depression in the past (none of which were treated), I wondered if I would be more prone to having more than just the baby blues. I’m not sure if this is truly the case or not—so much is unknown about postpartum depression and I’ve heard many women say that they are sure they dealt with it when their babies were born twenty and thirty years ago but there wasn’t a vocabulary to discuss it.

My cousin was sweet enough to bounce some questions to me to help me write this post and one of the questions she asked was what was postpartum depression like. I’ve already mentioned the disconnect between myself and others and feeling incredibly overwhelmed. But I think the biggest struggle was coming to terms with my new life changes. I didn’t know how to be a mom, a wife, and myself all at the same time. Looking back I can see that I thought I needed to be someone completely different from who I was before the baby—I didn’t know how to adjust just parts of my life. Because of this I completely lost myself. There is absolutely no way to prepare for how absolutely life changing being a mother is. But, what I now know is that I did not need to change, I just needed to grow. (I hope this makes sense—basically I can be the same person as I was, just enhanced?).

One of the things that I believe can exacerbate the depression is feeling alone and isolated. People would tell me that of course there will be adjustment and of course it will be hard, but I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to handle those adjustments or the difficulty. I felt like a failure for not having the answers or not knowing what to do when Elle was crying or upset or not sleeping or not nursing or… And I felt shame for feeling depressed and helpless. In the book What Mother’s Do the first chapter discusses the competition between mothers and sadly I see this to be true—it’s impossible not to compare your experiences to others and for me I wanted to prove that I was handling everything perfectly and doing just fine. It was so hard to admit that things were not OK and that I needed help.

So what has changed over the past five months? R-E-L-A-X. Yes, I’m laughing at myself, too. But really—like the doctor ordered: sleep and time to myself—with the realization that both won’t be like it was before Elle. Cutting myself some slack. Realizing that I can’t do everything that I want to do or even need to do, but that the world won’t end. Asking for help. Asking for help again. Relying on my incredibly supportive husband who happens to be the best dad. Sometimes I think that I rely on him a little too much, but I’ve learned that we really are partners. Taking deep breaths and not forgetting to take time to just snuggle and be in the moment.

Do I still have moments? Yes, of course—we all do, don’t we? But the key, for me, is that I feel like myself again. And with renewed strength. Do I worry that I will go through this again with baby number 2? Yes. Will it prevent me from having more kids? No. I can’t wait for the next baby to come and I know there will be struggles but I also know that I can do it. I’ll count on Scott to hold my hand, but now that I know the signs, I feel better equipped to take care of myself sooner rather than later.

I don’t really know how to end this post. I don’t have the answers and I don’t have any sage advice. Everyone’s experiences are individual and different treatment works for different people (I did not want to go into detail about this in the post, if you’d like to discuss you can email me). But what I do hope is that by sharing my own story that I will help someone else realize that she is not alone. There is nothing “wrong” with you for the way that you are feeling, but it can get better and my hope is that women can and will ask for help when they need it—in whatever shape or form that might be.

I know this picture is flawed but I can't help but love it.

Deep breath...and Publish.

With a heart full of love,

Sunday Salon 56: You Know You're Book Obsessed When...

2012-01-15T08:45:00.002-06:00

Good morning!!! I think Sunday morning is my favorite of the week. Scott and I always make breakfast together on Sundays and it's usually a morning to be a bit lazy.

You will be proud to know that I've started the Great Bookshelf Overhaul (I'm looking at you who said end of January was quite ambitious...). As I've been spending time with my books, and trying to find some to part with, I've also started thinking about characteristics of the book obsessed.

You Know You're Book Obsessed When:

You highly recommend books that you haven't read yet because so many other bloggers loved them.

One of your greatest fears is not being able to read everything you want to in your lifetime.

Turning the pages of a book is one of your greatest comforts.

You've hugged a book...more than once.

The joke about the person who was crushed to death by his bookshelves--that could totally be you.

You see an awesome movie preview and know you have a to read the book first.

Your literary crush is so very real.

You dread being seated next to someone chatty who will interrupt your public transportation reading.

You've cried in public while reading your book--and you didn't care.

How to categorize your books is a serious dilemma.

You've learned the art of multitasking while listening to audiobooks.

You follow book awards like others follow movie awards.

You've bought a book you already owned because you forgot you had it.

You are never ever ever without a book.

Added from the comments:

You plan your day around your reading (Jenny)

You add more books to your library holds list, even though you already have more checked out than you could possibly read before they are due (Lisa)

You've thrown a book across the room (CB James) - though the rest of us hope that he does so gently!!!

You call in sick to work so you can stay home and read (Softdrink/Jill)

You know you're book obsessed when you plan trips around author events (BermudaOnion)

You've been known to smell a new book (Laura)

You give someone an incredulous look when someones tells you they don't read (Kay)

What do you have to add to the list?

On the Blog:

Looking Back to last week
**The Great Bookshelf Overhaul
**Oh We're Going to a Hukilau (or, give me suggestions for Maui!)
**Wordless Wednesday: Biggest Loser
**Thoughts on The Elegance of the Hedgehog
**Homemade Baby Food - Weekend Cooking

On Chickpea Banana
Nothing this week.

Looking Forward to Next Week
**I've started drafting a rather lengthy post on postpartum depression--if I can finish then I'll post this week. Not sure if I should break it up into two posts or not.
**For you Quilters: I found a tutorial series that I'm going to be sewing along with (or at least attempting). The tutorials is for Solstice Stars. Let me know if you're interest and we can give each other mutual support!
**On Saturday for weekend cooking I'm going to try to post about my Operation Use My Kitchen Stuff - First up is the crockpot!! Not sure what else...

A Note on Blogger's New Threaded Comments: I have installed the threaded comments but I don't plan to personally use them. I have a system for responding to comments and even though it sometimes takes me a day or two to respond, I've been better! But because I can only respond to comments maybe once a day, I don't want to junk up your inboxes with replies. So, I'll continue to respond the same way for now, but the threaded comments will be there for anyone else's use. Maybe I'll end up just switching back to the old way...

Hope you're all having a delicious Sunday. What's on the agenda for you? I'm counting on lots of snuggles this afternoon with Elle--even if I have to steal those snuggles! ;)

Homemade Baby Food - Weekend Cooking

2012-01-13T06:00:00.003-06:00

I can remember the first time I saw a baby food maker. I was browsing through William Sonoma (love) and saw the little baby puree maker and freezer containers. I may have laughed out loud—I don’t remember—but I definitely remember scoffing a little bit. Who has time to make baby food? Granola moms, that’s who!

But then my friend had a baby and she made me realize how easy it is to make baby food. Maybe it was because I didn’t get to nurse for as long as I would have liked, but I decided that when it came time for Elle to have solids that I would make her baby food. I’ve stuck with the idea that I will continue to do this until it becomes stressful and luckily for the both of us it has been easier than I would have ever imagined.

And trust me, I am not a freaky granola mom. But when I was trying to think of reasons NOT to make baby food, I couldn’t think of any good ones.

I don’t have any of those fancy baby food making gadgets either. I did buy a food processor but only because when I tried to puree carrots in the blender, it was a nightmare. A pot, a steamer, the food processor, and ice cube trays. Not sure why you would need anything more than that.

Well, I do have a baby food book that I’ve used religiously. Even though steaming and pureeing vegetables and fruits is kind of a no brainer, I LOVE Top 100 Baby Purees for all of the advice, recipes, and nutritional information. Plus it’s just kind of nice to have some hand holding in the beginning.

What have I made for Elle? Carrots, peas, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, green beans, apples, pears, peaches, and most recently chicken mixtures. I have some cauliflower in the fridge and blueberries in the freezer to whip up soon and then maybe we'll move on to broccoli and then who knows what else. I typically make a big batch on the weekends (usually only every other weekend) and we're good to go for a few weeks. Especially now that she has much more variety of foods and is also eating raw bananas.

So all you non-freaky non-granola moms--you can do this too. Honestly? I think it's easier than having to go to the store every time she's out of jarred food. It's really taken the guessing game out and I can defrost as much as I want at a time and very little goes to waste. Plus, it tastes amazing. Yes, even the pureed chicken!

Do you have any baby food making tips? I know I still have a lot to learn!

And a big thanks to Heather for pointing me towards this Homemade Baby Food Recipe site!

The Elegance of the Hedgehog - Muriel Barbery

2012-01-12T06:00:00.002-06:00

Title: The Elegance of the Hedgehog

Author: Muriel Barbery
Narrators: Barbara Rosenblat, Cassandra Morris
Published: 2006 Pages: 359
Audio Duration: 9 hrs, 34 mins
Genre: Literary Fiction
Rating: 4.5/5

Summary: A middle aged apartment concierge, Madame Renee Michel, who has hidden her cultural proclivities from those around her and a teenage girl, Paloma, who is searching for a reason to continue to live in this seemingly meaningless world, are brought together by a strange new tenant, Mr. Ozu.

Why I listened: JoAnn made me. Well, her review did anyway. I was in an audio-lull and had just received an audible credit; JoAnn's description of this one being a "thought-provoking, cerebral novel" had me knowing that it was just what I needed.

Thoughts in General: The book is written from the alternating perspectives of Madame Michel and Paloma. JoAnn warns that there is a slow start to the book and she's absolutely correct--but pick this one up when you're in the mood for character and writing-driven novels rather than a plot-driven novel. It is an incredibly quiet book that takes place mostly in the heads of the two characters, but I was surprised at how I longed to hear more of each ones thoughts.

Bottom Line: I will certainly be listening to this book again and I will also be picking up a hard copy. It's a book that needs to be enjoyed slowly and indulgently like a decadent and rich coffee. But don't be discouraged by the slow start--instead savor it--get to know these wonderful characters. And if slow isn't your style, skip this one!

A note on the audio: The narration of The Elegance of the Hedgehog was absolutely fantastic. Barbara Rosenblat as Madame Michel is by far one of the narrations I have listened to--Rosenblat absolutely transformed herself into the character and made her come to life. She was emphatic and dramatic in all of the right places. My only quibble is a personal one--I was trying to listen to the ending while doing some basic tasks at work when I realized that I only peripherally knew what was happening. I missed out on a key moment and certainly learned my lesson about trying to multitask!!

This one has received some really rave reviews but also some mild ones. Have you read it? What did you think?

Also, while looking up the page numbers for this post I realized that it was originally published in France and that there's a French movie. Huh!

Wordless Wednesday: Biggest Loser

2012-01-11T06:00:00.001-06:00

So it begins...

Oh We're Going to a Hukilau

2012-01-10T06:00:00.004-06:00

A huki huki huki huki hukilau

This is the song that has been stuck in my head for a day--over and over and over.

Why?

We booked a family vacation to Maui this summer!! As in all of my immediate family!! You can be assured that I'll be practicing my hula, as seen below, while I patiently wait for the time to hop on the plane.

Scott and I went to Oahu three years ago (zomg, really three years ago?!), so we're looking forward to seeing one of the other Hawaiian islands.

Have you been to Maui? What MUST we do while we're there?