Baby Talk without the Babble

Living Life in 3D

2012-01-18T09:48:00.004-05:00

I admit, I've been...[in a rut]...lately.

Really since Aksel's diagnosis, this past summer.

But it's time now for me to move forward and accept the challenge that is autism, to take active control of my health, both my physical and mental wellbeing, because life isn't easy under the best of circumstances. And I want, in particular, to feel clear-minded, not weighted down with negativity or sadness. I need to be confident ~ that much stronger for my child and his developmental differences.

So, I choose to no longer feel:

Depressed. Defeated. Despondent.

I guess you could say I've been living life in 3D. Which, as it turns out, is not all it's cracked up to be. So, don't believe the hype!

(Or pay $16 for a ticket!)

But really, I'm making positive changes.

For my child.

Because I love him more than anything! And, I want always to be his strongest advocate.

Who knows, moving forward, he may need someone to speak for him, if he can not?

About 25% of people with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) could be considered nonverbal...

And I want, unquestionably, to be that person, to be prepared to accept and face the challenges, however they unfold?

For my husband.

Because he's my partner, I love him, and we're going through this journey together. It's not any easier pretending I'm alright.

I want to be strong for him, too. Truly strong.

And lastly, I'm making changes for myself...

Because, it's not selfish to want to be happy in my own skin, to no longer feel anxious or overwhelmed.

But with all this talk of change and resolution, I don't personally want, at this point in the process, to take a pill to solve my problems. And that's not saying I'm against medicinally treating my symptoms of depression or anxiety. In fact, I took Lexapro for nearly a year after giving birth to Aksel. But in some strange way, this circumstance, autism, translates differently in my mind to that of postpartum depression. For instance, it's never going away. My child will always be autistic, and I'll always be, as his parent, striving to cope with the effects. So, I can't, or don't want, rather, to seek out a temporary fix for a lifelong challenge. Instead, I want to delve deep and truly find my inner strength.

Organically.

Naturally.

So I'm choosing, at this stage in the game, exercise as an outlet to alleviate my stress, to help me better understand my emotions.

That, coupled with a healthy dose of writing, and a more concerted effort at communication (with my husband) should help to brighten my outlook. (It has in past weeks.) If though, I observe no real change of mood in say three months time, I will contact my doctor for alternative options.

I realize it's okay to feel weak. I just don't want it, the negativity, to be all-consuming anymore.

I want to embrace the positive. For example, Aksel now hugs!

PS - Many thanks for all of your reassuring, sweet comments. They've really helped in past weeks! Much love to you and yours ~ XO!

The {Momentary} Victor

2012-01-03T18:51:00.001-05:00

Over the last few weeks, blogging's been low on my list of priorities.

And I could blame my absence on the holidays, for having grandparents in town, or ya da ya da ya...

But, it just wouldn't be the truth.

And there's really no point in pretending. At least not here.

I mean, this is my space for truth and expression, for honesty no matter the pain... or humiliation.

So on that note, where do I begin (embarrassing myself)?

For starters, I'm struggling to find my inner strength.

I really am.

It's like autism has me by the collar tight, and I'm fighting to breathe new life, new thoughts and/or ideas. I just feel so one note...

But nothing means more though. There's nothing weighing on my mind more great than autism. (Will there ever be?) And, I feel alone: detached from myself, my family and friends, my husband...

Plus, I'm anxious. Not to mention, hypersensitive. Oh, and fun, what's that?

I only know the time we'll wrestle is indefinite. Autism'll always have me pinned, because my weakness is my child. And I hear you all loud and clear, shouting from the stands, "Be strong, Gillian. Don't be afraid. This doesn't define Aksel. You're doing the right thing."

Yet, I can't look you in the eye for fear of breaking down. For being weak, not in control. Can you make my child speak? Please.

It's just that at this stage in the game, autism is the victor.

So that's why I haven't been writing...

PS - I promise tomorrow's Wordless post will be upbeat and positive.

PPS - Despite my worry, which as you know I can't seem to control, Aksel's making lots of progress.

$50 Sephora e-Gift Card Results

2012-01-03T08:14:00.000-05:00

The winner of Baby Talk without the Babble's latest giveaway is daveshir2005. Congratulations, and enjoy your prize!

Entrants click here to verify the results of a Sephora Gift Card.

[PLEASE NOTE] All entries were listed numerically based on the total number of submissions. To be specific, the numeric winner of the contest was (comment) #731.

PS - All drawings conducted at random.org.

WW: Mulch Ado About Nothing

2011-12-27T18:53:00.000-05:00

Like any two-year-old boy, my kid loves to be outside, in the dirt. Or better yet, tasting mulch and hugging trees.

And all I can say, is I'm one lucky momma! Happy Birthday, Aksel!

WW: A 'Big Top' Birthday, Pt 1

2011-12-20T21:29:00.004-05:00

We celebrated our little boy's second birthday this past weekend...

As a side note, it was a circus! No really, it was! Here for your viewing delight, are a few shots from Aksel's 'big top' birthday bash:

Aksel's Personalized Clown Cupcake Toppers

(HANDMADE BY YOURS TRULY)

Cake by Sweetsmith Bakery

The Birthday Boy! (And, Party Ringmaster!)

More photos (and details) to follow shortly. Happy Wednesday!

Jellycat {Cordy Roy} Giveaway Results

2011-12-20T10:03:00.000-05:00

The winner of Baby Talk without the Babble's latest giveaway is Precilla. Congratulations, and enjoy your prize!

Entrants click here to verify the results of a Jellycat Giveaway.

Now, don't miss winning my other great giveaways.

[PLEASE NOTE] All entries were listed numerically based on the total number of submissions. To be specific, the numeric winner of the contest was (comment) #128.

PS - All drawings conducted at random.org.

Setting the Table

2011-12-16T22:40:00.001-05:00

After months of preparation, the circus is finally coming to town!

Really though, we're celebrating Aksel's 2nd birthday tomorrow. And, I couldn't be more excited. I love throwing parties!

But there's still lots to do before the guests arrive. Wish me luck!

By the way, December feels stressful. Anyone else in agreement?

Autism as a Teenager

2011-12-15T13:17:00.008-05:00

So much of my life now is centered around autism. And I'm sorry for it. I don't mean to be negative, sound negative, or read negative...

I really do want to post about fashion.

Or politics.

Or, films. (Because I love these topics!)

But, it's just been a terribly challenging time for me. For my life...

And today, was especially hard. As mother to an autistic child, I can say it was truly sobering. (And, anxiety-evoking!)

I walked out of the hospital, the local medical university, with my husband and child, after a routine appointment this morning, to see a dark-haired teenage boy walking in our direction. He was no more than fourteen, the boy. And his parents, who were struggling to keep up with him, lovingly called him Speedy.

Under normal (parenting) circumstances this might be no big deal, but he was different. He was stimming!

Again, this may seem like no big deal, but to the parent of a stimming autistic toddler... it was heartbreaking!

DON'T KNOW WHAT STIMMING IS? CLICK HERE.

It's like we saw what our child, Aksel, might be like as a 13-year-old with autism? And, it scared us.

Because, for the first time, we saw autism as a teenager.

I mean, our near two-year-old is really cute flapping his hands now.

Will it be cute when he's in high school though?

I, for one, don't want my child to be picked on for his differences.

I don't know if I'll have the fortitude of character to withhold expressing my emotions?

Because he'll always be my baby! And because, I was picked on as a kid for being just a little different.

READ ANOTHER MOTHER'S STORY WITH AUTISM.

On a last closing note, Aksel's been excelling in therapy. And despite today's encounter, my spirits are (and have been) relatively high.

I mean, the progress my boy's made in three-and-a-half months is incredible! And I believe, early intervention is key!

Happy Holidays!

Wordless Wednesday: Pout-Pout Face

2011-12-14T08:10:00.002-05:00

My kid's darling pout-pout face could move mountains. It makes this mommy mush. (i.e. He owns me!) What about you and yours?

Happy Hump Day!

Peaceful Deer Holiday Giveaway Results

2011-12-13T07:53:00.000-05:00

The winner of Baby Talk without the Babble's latest giveaway is Renee. Congratulations, and enjoy your prize!

Entrants click here to verify the results of this holiday giveaway.

Now, don't miss winning my other great giveaways.

[PLEASE NOTE] All entries were listed numerically based on the total number of submissions. To be specific, the numeric winner of the contest was (comment) #10.

PS - All drawings conducted at random.org.

Nostalgic Graphic 'Holiday' Tee Giveaway Results

2011-12-13T07:46:00.000-05:00

The winner of Baby Talk without the Babble's latest giveaway is 'Flowerchild.' Congratulations, and enjoy your prize!

Entrants click here to verify the results of a NGT Holiday Giveaway.

Now, don't miss winning my other great giveaways.

[PLEASE NOTE] All entries were listed numerically based on the total number of submissions. To be specific, the numeric winner of the contest was (comment) #45.

PS - All drawings conducted at random.org.

The Sundae Hop! v30

2011-12-10T19:29:00.000-05:00

Benvenuti Goddag Wilkommen Здравствуйте Bem-vindo

您好 G'day Halló Namasté Mabuhay Welcome...

Wordless Wednesday: A Year Ago

2011-12-06T19:26:00.005-05:00

Nearly a year ago, my little boy celebrated his first birthday. It feels like yesterday! It's just hard to believe he'll be two in three weeks?

Could you please pinch me? Happy {nearly} Wednesday!

$50 {Choice} Gift Card Giveaway Results

2011-12-06T07:30:00.000-05:00

The winner of Baby Talk without the Babble's latest giveaway is 'Roswell.' Congratulations, and enjoy your prize!

Entrants click here to verify the results of a $50 {Choice} Gift Card.

Now, don't miss winning my other great giveaways.

[PLEASE NOTE] All entries were listed numerically based on the total number of submissions. To be specific, the numeric winner of the contest was (comment) #652.

PS - All drawings conducted at random.org.

The Sundae Hop! v29

2011-12-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

Benvenuti Goddag Wilkommen Здравствуйте Bem-vindo

您好 G'day Halló Namasté Mabuhay Welcome...

The Boy with the Yellow Hat

2011-12-02T14:42:00.001-05:00

Aksel's 'Vintage Circus' 2nd Birthday Party is just around the corner, and I'm up to my eyeballs in party crafts. And, Etsy purchases!

That said, I can hardly wait to share the details of his big day. In the meantime, check out last year's 'Yo Gabba Gabba' party.

And, have a great weekend!

PS: We're getting our Christmas tree on Monday. So excited!

A Mother's Christmas Story

2011-12-01T17:34:00.003-05:00

Much like my mother, I love to write.

And for a few years now, she's been sending me her stories in the mail. The one below is the first I ever received.

If you have a few minutes, read my mother's holiday story, "My Favorite Day of the Year." It made me cry!

Oh, and did I tell you she's not sick, my mother? She was thankfully diagnosed last week with a treatable condition called Diverticulitis.

Can you say, joy to the world? What a relief!

Now, here's her story:

“My Favorite Day of the Year”

Another long and humid summer is now lost into the faded background of time, and what was once an exquisite blue shaded canopy is now occupied with an assortment of puffy licorice clouds that adorn the sky above. The colorful leaves of autumn have fallen from their mother branches, icing the ground with a kaleidoscope of brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow, and leaving behind the darkened shadows of stick trees, and the death of yet another season. The echoes of neighborhood children roll triumphantly down the street, playing melody to my ears, while the circular piles of leaves await burial in big black bags. The determined November wind blows swiftly, howling a tune of death, and bringing with her the chill of December. My bones are now cold and shivering uncontrollably, I must rely on the warmth of my wool sweater to aid me, and with each exhale of breath, white clouds of froth come billowing forth, leaving crystals of ice upon my lips. “Oh the excitement that stirs within me,” bringing me closer to Christmas, my favorite day of the year.

College finals are lingering, the stress is mounting, my patience is dramatically shortened, and my nerves are shot, but in spite of all this overwhelming pressure, the spirit of Christmas is blooming gloriously within me, spawning the birth of excitement. The inviting scents of Christmas time surround my widened nostrils. “Yummy!” The aroma of warm apple cinnamon strudels and hot peppermint cocoa dances and swirls around gently in the air, leaving a tease of delight upon my tongue. Cling-Clang goes the bell, as the Salvation Army Santa Claus stands guardian to the doors, my hand reaches out with kindness as I hurry into the warm air inside. There are sales galore, and gifts to be carefully chosen. My mind is hit with consecutive waves of thoughts and ideas of how to make this Christmas more special than the year before. With so many things to do and prepare for, I can hardly wait to get started. “Yippee-Yahoo, I am counting down to Christmas day, my favorite day of the year.”

Most days of the year are ordinary and uneventful. Days tick away with the hand of a wall clock. School, studying, routine, and schedule play monotonous host to my time. Life passes quickly by, and the memories fall neatly into an organized stack where they lay motionless and gather dust until a time of recollection. However, “Christmas is a special day.” This is the one day a year when all four of my beautiful children scurry from all directions to gather around me to share the love of the newborn season. My halls are decked with Christmas cheer, my financial ship has sunk, the tree stands tall in liberty and all its glory, and the star above twinkles. The presents are wrapped with special care, shining colorful curly ribbons and perfect little bows, who are awaiting the hands of my children, who will have no mercy for their beauty.

At long last my favorite day is here. One by one my children greet me with a tender hug and joyful smile, my tears of love roll softly and quietly down my face, menopause has bitten. Nostalgia fills the air, leaving no room for intruders. They are eager to reminisce and tell their stories of the year past. “My children are so beautiful to me,” each one different and yet they are all the same, “angels,” little pieces of heaven fallen perfectly from above. Their innocence and eagerness for life intoxicates me. I stand amidst them, gazing into their chestnut eyes. There is a bond of love between us that will forever be unbroken. “My Darlings,” I say as my tone gains altitude. “Today we are blessed. We have all made it safely to another Christmas, and have been given this time to be together again. I confess to you all, I am guilty of loving each one of you. I cannot explain the size of my love, not in cups, quarts or liters, but each night when I lay my head upon my pillow, my prayers and love for you is exactly the same. A wish for happiness, love, and prosperity is guided toward you. Life is short, and at its best, is very difficult, and if for reasons unknown I should not make it safely to our next gathering, look back to this Christmas, and there you will see the size of your mother’s love, and how special you are to me.”

Two weeks have passed since Christmas. My house is haunted with the songs of my children’s voices and laughter. Happiness, comfort, and peace embrace me, as I hold closely my new Christmas memory. I walk briskly across the frozen brown grass, ever so steady, onward to my mail box. Tucked neatly inside is a small gray envelope with the words “I love you mom,” written boldly across the bottom. I saw not another step, and it was as if a string had lifted both ends of my lips, I was swept away in thought and smile, back to Christmas, my favorite day of the year.”

Blades of Gory

2011-11-29T16:18:00.002-05:00

I've decided my excitement is a bad thing. I mean, when I get excited, truly excited, things go wrong. Or better yet, I get hurt.

Case in point, date night last week at the Carolina Ice Palace. My husband took me ice skating. How holiday sweet of him, right?

By the way, I'm so in the spirit! (More as to why later.)

But as I was saying, I get excited. And this night, on really hard ice, was no exception from the rest. I was giddy!

Singing Christmas songs in the car, imagining Lynn Holly Johnson (and handsome, Robby Benson) in Ice Castles.

Shouting toe pick! from the rafters of our Volvo...

Folks, I was excited!

But the glee was sadly short-lived. Sixteen minutes, to be exact. Or roundabout twenty before I was carried off the ice...

That's right, carried off the ice. Or hoisted, if you prefer.

It's a mystery how it happened, the fall. So sudden and quick. I mean, I started off slow, as you might imagine any girl from South Carolina would. (Ice isn't too common 'round these parts.) But I soon got the hang of it, and there was no stopping me.

Swoosh, swoosh

The cold was so invigorating!

And that's when it happened. Mom down. Mom catastrophically down. Lights on, no mom home.

I hit the back of my head so hard! So hard it bled. Talk about blades of gory! Hence the reason I've been blog MIA.

Moral of this post, I'm no spring chicken. And, bring a helmet everywhere. But really, accidents happen fast. So, be careful!

And tell those you love, how you feel often.

(Because you never know when you'll fall, and not get back up.)

Happier skating!

A lil' ol' vote, please?

Win a $50 Sephora e-Gift Card!

2011-11-29T09:26:00.000-05:00

If you love beauty products, this giveaway's for you. Enter now to win a $50 Sephora e-Gift Card, courtesy of yours truly.

But will ya please vote? That's all I ask. It won't count as an entry, but it will help to ensure high-quality giveaways in the future.

Not to mention, it'd mean a lot to me... ;)

TO ENTER:

* Up to 12 ways to enter (leave a separate comment for each entry):

1. "FOLLOW" Baby Talk without the Babble via Bloglovin'.

2. "FOLLOW" Baby Talk without the Babble on Facebook.

3. "FOLLOW" Baby Talk without the Babble on Twitter.

4. "FOLLOW" Baby Talk without the Babble via Google Friend

Connect by clicking on the icon at the top of my sidebar.

5. "LIKE" Baby Talk without the Babble by clicking on

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7. "SUBSCRIBE" to get Baby Talk without the Babble by email.

* You MUST confirm your subscription.

8. "GRAB MY BUTTON" and post it on your blog.

* Leave a URL for me to confirm.

9. "WRITE A POST" about this giveaway.

* Leave a URL for me to confirm.

10. "READ AND COMMENT" daily on a non-giveaway post.

11. "TWEET" this post daily by clicking on the icon below.

12. "SHARE" this post daily by clicking on the icon below.

Contest will be open until 11:59 PM EST on January 2, 2011.
Contest winner must have a US or Canadian mailing address.
The winner will be randomly selected (from random.org) and announced online. Please check back to see if you won, or leave your email address with comment. The winner will then need to provide their name and shipping address by contacting: babytalknobabble@gmail.com

Kicky Pants Giveaway Results

2011-11-29T08:36:00.000-05:00

The winner of Baby Talk without the Babble's latest giveaway is Vanessa. Congratulations, and enjoy your prize!

Entrants click here to verify the results of a Kicky Pants Giveaway.

Now, don't miss winning my other great giveaways.

[PLEASE NOTE] All entries were listed numerically based on the total number of submissions. To be specific, the numeric winner of the contest was (comment) #109.

PS - All drawings conducted at random.org.

Wordless Wednesday: Gobble, Gobble, Gobble

2011-11-22T18:33:00.005-05:00

I could gobble him up, my kid. My quiet lil' turkey with a cleft chin...

Gobble...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Photos: Abigail Marie

Shirt: Snips, Snails, & Fairytales

Available at Sprout Boutique in Charleston.

A vote for me wee turkey?

A Peaceful Deer Holiday Giveaway

2011-11-22T09:51:00.005-05:00

Enter to win a present for your peaceful ~~deer~~ dear, a holiday infant gown with the charming applique below.

(Prize sponsored by me. Made by Snips, Snails, & Fairytales.)

But will you please vote first? That's all I ask. It won't count as an entry, but it will help to ensure high-quality content in the future.

Not to mention, I'll keep the holiday cheer coming... ;)

TO ENTER:

* Up to 13 ways to enter (leave a separate comment for each entry):

"FOLLOW" Baby Talk without the Babble via Bloglovin'.

2. "FOLLOW" Baby Talk without the Babble on Facebook.

3. "FOLLOW" Baby Talk without the Babble on Twitter.

4. "FOLLOW" Baby Talk without the Babble via Google Friend

Connect by clicking on the icon at the top of my sidebar.

5. "LIKE" Baby Talk without the Babble by clicking on

the Facebook icon below:

6. "LIKE" my best friend's wedding mood board on Facebook.

7. "LIKE" Snips, Snails, & Fairytales on Facebook.

8. "SUBSCRIBE" to get Baby Talk without the Babble by email.

* You MUST confirm your subscription.

9. "GRAB MY BUTTON" and post it on your blog.

* Leave a URL for me to confirm.

10. "WRITE A POST" about this giveaway.

* Leave a URL for me to confirm.

11. "READ AND COMMENT" on a non-giveaway post.

12. "TWEET" this post daily by clicking on the icon below.

13. "SHARE" this post daily by clicking on the icon below.

Contest will be open until 11:59 PM EST on Dec. 12, 2011.
Contest winner must have a US or Canadian mailing address.
The winner will be randomly selected (from random.org) and announced online. Please check back to see if you won, or leave your email address with comment. The winner will then need to provide their name and shipping address by contacting: babytalknobabble@gmail.com

Snips, Snails, & Fairytales available at Sprout.

High Art Kite Giveaway Results

2011-11-22T08:26:00.000-05:00

The winners of Baby Talk without the Babble's latest giveaway are Vanessa and April. Congratulations, and enjoy your kites!

Entrants click here to verify the results of a High Art Kite Giveaway.

Now, don't miss winning my other great giveaways.

[PLEASE NOTE] All entries were listed numerically based on the total number of submissions. To be specific, the numeric winners of the contest were (comments) #33 and #50.

PS - All drawings conducted at random.org.

The Sundae Hop! v28

2011-11-19T18:08:00.000-05:00

Benvenuti Goddag Wilkommen Здравствуйте Bem-vindo
您好 G'day Halló Namasté Mabuhay Welcome...

A Pool of Positive

2011-11-18T14:03:00.007-05:00

If I don't write, I feel like my head'll explode. And I've felt this way since I was a young girl.

Like I needed to purge my thoughts. My descriptions of interesting places, and the people therein. My observations about life.

And when I say purge, I mean often. (Write often, that is.)

For example, during my college years, I always carried paper and a pen in my purse, because I had to write. To be more specific, a spiral-bound journal (adorned with relevant time-period clippings), a reliable felt-tip pen (preferably in black), and Wite-Out (because I was particular, go figure, about my penmanship).

From time to time, I even had a voice recorder on hand.

But to my point, I've been feeling overwhelmed lately, and I'm struggling to organize my thoughts, my heavy writer's mind.

And with everything going on, my mother's recent health tests (she's undergoing an endoscopic procedure on Monday), Aksel's autism diagnosis, and the in-between stuff like housecleaning, laundry, and dentist appointments, I've been in a serious spin.

Throw in the disability/Tefra/Medicaid application-process and multiple weekly in-home therapy sessions, and I could just cry.

That all said, I know everything I've written recently has been negative (and I'm sorry for it), but it's just where I'm swimming. I'm treading water in a pool of positive-thinking, very near to the deep end of depression. And I need to make time to exercise, to take care of myself, because I'm feeling spread thin.

On a positive closing note, Aksel's been making tremendous strides in therapy, and I have much, in the way of good news, to soon share.

As always, thanks for reading. And, happy Friday!