Love, Sex and Relationships/PJ Trell Show

Valentine's Day Guide for 2012

2012-02-12T21:00:00.000+01:00

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, here is your 2012 guide for that romantic day with your lady. Remember, Valentine's Day is actually a big deal for most women because it's traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for one another. Make her feel special and you can't go wrong.

Here are your classic go-to-gifts

Chocolates
Flowers
Jewelry
Lingerie

Chocolates

A box of chocolates, with flowers and a valentine's card is very traditional. Chocolates can cause an aphrodisiac effect, are sweet and delicious. Just like your lady. Don't go cheap this year and buy a quality brand. My favorite here in Germany is a company called Lindt.

Flowers

Flowers are always a popular choice for girls and wives. The classic for Valentine's Day are long-stemmed red roses, but you don't have to be like everyone else. Be creative and arrange them to signify something besides just romance. P.S. don't just buy one single rose nor flowers from the gas station.

Jewelry

They say diamonds are a girl's best friend, but there are many other beautiful gems and metals out there for those of us on a tight budget. But if you can splurge a little bit, go for it. You will never go wrong with diamonds.

Lingerie

You can get a two-for-one deal when you opt for lingerie. It benefits both the gift-giver as well as the receiver. Make sure you get the right size though. So, for those of those of us that never pay attention to our ladies intimate wear- besides just slipping them off, go ahead and sneak a peak when she's not looking and take notes on what you find on the tags.

The Sex Shop

Don't forget to check out PJ's Sex Shop for some alternative gifts for your sweetheart.

The Sex Shop

What's Your Fantasy!!!!????

2012-02-08T02:02:00.000+01:00

What's Your Fantasy????!!!!!

WHY ARE MEN NOT AS EMOTIONAL AS WOMEN?

2012-02-04T23:35:00.000+01:00

by Jesse Aldana

Ok, so we know that men are not as emotional as women. Most women would like their men to be a little more on the sensitive side, but time and time again, I see boys being shaped to tough it out. Statements such as, "boys don't cry" or "only little girls get their feelings hurt" are no wonder why boys grow up to be unconnected men.

I found an interesting article by counselor Dr. Garey Smalley regarding this issue.

Here are his results:

WHAT WOMEN MEAN BY INTIMACY

Deep emotional connection
Daily time sharing your heart
Daily time hearing the heart of the one you love
Ability to cry easily and together at emotional moments
A sensitivity to know immediately when feelings are hurt
Understanding each other’s dreams and goals
Closeness of the heart and soul

WHAT MEN MEAN BY INTIMACY

Deep physical connection
Foreplay
Hand-holding, hugging, kissing
Understanding each other’s physical needs
An ability to communicate physical needs
Physical time alone together
A sensitivity to know when physical needs are present

Dr. Smalley goes on to say that, "One of the reasons men may be more focused on physical closeness is that men aren’t as sensitive to physical touch as women are." It takes more physical touch to meet a man’s physical needs. Women may feel unloved because their emotional needs aren't met, while men feel ignored because their physical needs aren't met.

I've seen these scenarios time and time again in relationships and it's definitely not easy. Although I do not have the right answers for everyone, I leave you with this: Love is patient, love is kind, and love is accepting and forgiving.

What are your comments on why men are not as emotional as women?

Soul Mate Check List

2012-01-31T21:50:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone The PJ Show Podcast is back!!!! On this episode new comer Natalie, Eagle Eye and I reveal our Soul Mate Check List. The characteristics that we look for in a ideal mate. So check it out and tell us what are your top 10 characteristics that you look for in a possible Soul Mate. Leave a comment below.

PJ
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow
www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow
(PJ Trell Show Online Dating Guide/Keeping It Real)
http://dld.bz/aKfYV

Who Feels More Pain- Men or Women?

2012-01-28T23:00:00.001+01:00

By Jesse Aldana

There's no question about who can endure more pain between men and women; Pain endurance during natural childbirth is something women are wonderfully good at. Many people argue the debatable case because women are built that way and men aren't.

New research, from the Stanford University School of Medicine, reveals that girls feel pain more extremely than guys. In their study, scientists analyzed more than 72,000 patient medical records. Women, by far, reported higher pain scores for every disease and illness. On a 1-to-10 point pain scale, women reported experiencing a whole point higher than men, according to study author Dr. Atul Butte.

Many reactions to the study state this proves once and for all that men can deal with pain more than women. But, according to everyday experiences, along with Cosmo's, guys do tend to exaggerate when they're sick and may "man up" in front of beautiful figures such as: a female doctor, a girlfriend, or his mother. Mommies, on the other hand, endure through their illness and discomfort (period cramps) and are still cable of taking care of their children, home, and themselves (looking sexy).

What are your comments on who feels more pain-Men or Women?

pjtrellshow.podomatic.com
Facebook.com/pjtrellshow
twitter.com/pjtrellshow

Truth and Lies

2012-01-24T23:27:00.000+01:00

By Jesse Aldana

Wouldn't it be nice to live in a perfect world, full of perfect relationships. Strangely, it would be weird if we stopped lying. Here are 10 reasons men and women need to lie.

"Men would no longer exaggerate about their enormous snake size."

10. Both men and women would say what they don't like about each other

9. Women can't fake they came during sex

8. Men can't fake they didn't cum during sex

7. Men would hurt women by saying they really look fat in that dress

6. Women would hurt men by stating they are definitely not the best they ever had

5. Women couldn't use the headache excuse to not have sex

4. Men would no longer exaggerate about their enormous snake size

3. Women would probably never own a weight machine and slow sales would force bankruptcy

2. Men would have to call you like they said they would and phone call traffic would reach an all-time high

1. The real number of sex partners you've had would increase for women, and decrease for men

http://facebook.com/pjtrellshow

http://twitter.com/pjtrellshow

Four Things That Cause Women To Break Up

2012-01-21T13:13:00.000+01:00

By Jesse Aldana

"Make her feel like she is the only woman in your world."

It's easy to point blame in a break-up and there are two sides to every story. Most men, however, fail to see those little things they do that end up costing them relationships with women. Not to say that women are blameless and off the hook when it comes to break-ups. Here are four tips on what men do that cause relationships to end.

1. Looking At Other Women

Most men are guilty as charged, while others plead the fifth when it comes to checking out other women. It's how men are built. By human nature, men are visual. It's what makes them feel great to be a man. But, unfortunately, it doesn't go too well with your girl. It hurts. Instead, make her feel like she is the only woman in your world.

2. Not Being Committed

So many women are stood up by men not calling them when they say they will. This isn't the keep her guessing and interested in you game. Be reliable. When you follow through, you earn her loyalty and fidelity. How do you do this without feeling like you have to check in all the time? Show her you want to be with her by letting her know what's going on with you and calling every now and then to let her know you're thinking about her. Build her security and trust.

3. Grooming Needs Attention

Most girls are attracted to bad boys, but lack of good hygiene is a major turn off. And if you stink, so will your relationship. Keep your cleanliness in check y showering every day, using the right body wash, shampoo and conditioner, and shaving gels. Male hygiene factors tremendously into a females sexual arousal. Staying clean and healthy will improve your chances of getting laid. Axe commercials were actually on to something.

4. Being Boring

The 11th lost Commandment is "Thou shall not bore thy girl or thyself!" Life is too short to be bored. I've covered this in the article titled "Sweep Her Off Her Feet All Over Again With New Creative Ways." Be spontaneous and bring back that excitement that brought you two together in the first place. Try something new. Be creative and spend quality time together. Couples that play together, stay together.

facebook.com/pjtrellshow

twitter.com/pjtrellshow

pjtrellshowonlinedating.com

NEW YEAR NEW YOU! 5 TIPS ON DEVELOPING HEALTHY HABITS

2012-01-15T00:55:00.001+01:00

By: Sgt. Flex (Tony Edmond, Sr.)

SET REALISTIC GOALS NOT RESOLUTIONS

With the New Year upon us and the bells are ringing, it’s the perfect time of year to avoid resolutions and embrace realistic goal setting. Year after year people set a list of New Year’s resolutions that are seldom fulfilled. Though, the motives are right and the intent is good, statistically failure is nipping at your nose. A major reason for this is due to the resolution’s sudden change of old habits that perhaps have been established for years. Setting goals offer a better alternative and are far more realistic than resolutions.

William Wordsworth, a 19^th century poet once said; “Not choice, but habit rules the unreflecting herd.” The brain is a processor, which is responsible for functions such as coordinating, recognition, memory and all other forms of learning. It is the largest energy part of the body. Therefore, it’s to no surprise why we may find it very difficult to break old habits suddenly. Having such understanding reveals the importance of goal setting versus relying upon New Year’s resolutions. Consequently, most goal setting always involves some form of habit.

Another pit fall to resolutions is that they tend to fall short as being viewed as clichés, in terms rendering powerless: “I’m going to start exercising.” “I will start eating better.” “I will stop smoking.” “I will lose ten pounds.” They all are examples of great intent resolutions, but fall short of a plan of action. Again, in most cases these fall under the learned memory category of the brain, which are big changes to adapt to. Goals normally provide a sense of direction. When setting small goals to obtain larger goals you will have a plan of attack and motivation to achieve what you set out to do. Therefore, as you unleash the power of goal-setting you will find yourself that much closer to engaging in that new work-out plan, healthier eating, losing weight and even kicking that bad smoking habit.

DEVELOP GOOD HABITS AND PRACTICED REPETITION

In order for any activity to develop into a habit it must be repeated several times. Repeated studies have shown that approximately 21 days of repetitive activity slowly transforms into a habit. In other words, if you began drinking alcohol or cigarette smoking consecutively for thus amount of days, it stands a great chance of becoming a bad habit. Like unto, engaging into at least 30 minutes of daily physical activity or choosing to incorporate healthy balanced meals into your diet instead of high fat high calorie meals, it too will become good habits. Permitting good habits to become practiced repetition would eventually allow the activity to be stored into our subconscious mind. “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” (Napoleon Hill).

KEEP TRACK OF YOUR SUCCESS AND BUILD ON IT

A frequent measure of your progress and new developments will keep you abreast of where you stand in comparison to where you stood. It would provide you with helpful insights on possible necessary adjustments. Keeping track of your success will motivate you to continue on the right path to obtaining your goals, hence evolving growth. As you focus on your success you will more likely get more of it.

Many times we find ourselves subconsciously focusing on our failed results more so than our success. That is why it is vitally important to remain focused and to keep track of your success. Think of what you have achieved. Then imagine how much more you can achieve and where you’d like to be in two, five, or even ten years as you build on your success.

TAKE 100% RESPONSIBITY FOR YOUR LIFE

If you want to develop good healthy habits, achieve fitness goals, have a successful new year and even become a new you, then you must take 100% responsibility for everything you do and experience you face in life. This includes your health status, quality of life and relationships, achievements and even failures. Although, this is not always an easy task it must be done. Many of us are programmed to blame everything and everybody other than self. Sure, realistically there are times when things happen beyond our control.

Even so in such cases we still must take full responsibility of our reactions to every action. This means taking complete control of our thoughts and our actions to make the necessary changes to improve the situation. Yes, sometimes we have to play the hand that we’ve been dealt, but there is always something different that we can choose to do in order to transform the situation at hand.

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE

As much as we would like to believe so, your New Year journey to success and becoming a new you will not be easy. There will be times when we are faced with adversities and unforeseen circumstances. But guess what? As such is life. But, as long as we accept that this journey is not meant to be easy, hold to intrinsic values of self-improvement, remain determined and tap into those DEVELOPED HEALTHY HABITS, we will be just fine.

Your willingness to persevere is compared to the increased muscle and strength that you will gain from the developed healthy habits and incorporating a fresh exercise routine into your new year: You must work it every day. Enjoy becoming a NEW YOU in this NEW YEAR. No more excuses… Just Do It!

If you are interested in more training, health, and fitness information you may contact Sgt. Flex at sergeantflex@gmail.com, or on Facebook at “Sergeant Flex Physique & Fitness.”

Online Dating Tips: Choosing An Effective Profile Photo

2012-01-11T08:30:00.002+01:00

Hello everyone! I am very excited to present to you the PJ Trell Show first online dating advice video. I was hosted by the lovely Ms. Jess. On this show Ms. Jess gave some advice on choosing the right profile pic for your online dating profile.

Enjoy and please give us your feedback. If you like the video, go to our YouTube channel and subscribe.

PJ

www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow
www.pjtrellonlinedating.com

"Sweep Her Off Her Feet All Over Again With New Creative Ways.”

2012-01-05T23:23:00.001+01:00

By Jesse Aldana

When you've got the urge to splurge, just go for it. Any place, anytime, anywhere. You are no longer just bound to bedroom sex because the world is at your shoulders. Give your old bed a break. You've been there and done that and a little change will spice things up a notch. Just remember to not think too much about it. Just do it.

Change The Routine.

Sweep her off her feet all over again with new creative ways. Small breaks from any routine may be all the fresh air you need. For example, if she's become used to you always playing video games on Friday nights, take her out instead. If your lady cooks and cleans, surprise her with a meal and help her out with the chores. She won't expect this and will appreciate you for the help.

Just Because.

Whoever said couples may only go out and have a good time only on birthdays, holidays and weekends. Take your lady out on any given day, just because it’s any given day. Send her flowers that don't necessarily have to be a dozen red roses because you feel like it. Do cool stuff for her just because, not for any reason in particular.
Unplanned trip.

If you've got some money saved up, grab a pair of plane tickets and fly somewhere you've never been to before. Together, you can have fun exploring a new place and maybe find an adventure or two. If you don't have the funds available just yet, get out of town for a change. You don’t need to think too much about it. Just pick a place and get out.

Of course there are many other ways to be spontaneous in your relationships. What are some of your ways?

Find true love!!! http://www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow
Facebook: www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow

Casual Sex rules explained baby.

2011-12-09T06:54:00.001+01:00

By Jesse Aldana
“A fuck buddy is having all the benefits of being in a relationship minus the B.S.”

The Four Tops

According to a University of Ottawa researcher, young people between the ages of 18-27 now have codes to describe sex outside of committed relationships. They no longer call it just casual sex. Relationships today are defined by the frequency of sexual contact, personal info shared, and emotional attachment. The four most popular terms happen to be “booty call,” “one-night stand” and “friends with benefits.” The last one is simply called “fuck buddy.”

The Rules of Conduct
Here, the rules of conduct are explained:

1. A booty call is an invitation from someone you know who wants to meet for sex. The booty call is made late at night, improvised and made usually by text. Some alcohol may also be involved and welcomed.

2. The one night stand is the classic case of two people meeting at a bar and then hooking up for the night. Someone will sleep over but, normally will leave the next morning. There is no breakfast in bed, no second opinions, and definitely no hanging around of any sorts.

3. Friends with benefits are described as people who were friends before becoming sexually involved. These happen to be the most complicated relationships of the bunch. You see, the friends may be part of a group and not want anybody else to know about what is going on.

4. The last, but certainly not least, a fuck buddy is having all the benefits of being in a relationship minus the B.S. There are no special attachments involved. The bottom line is just sex only.

Your thoughts
What do you think about sex without commitments? What kind of rules are involved for you?

2011-11-23T01:27:00.001+01:00

We have taken the PJ Trell Show to YouTube. Check out the introduction show.

PJ

3 Signs She’s Into You

2011-11-16T06:00:00.000+01:00

By Jesse Aldana
“A woman who has no interest in you will rarely even care if you have a girlfriend, boyfriend, or whatever.”

She listens to you for a change
Women want men to listen to them because they have a need to be heard. Men know this —at least most of the time. One very good way to know if a female prospect may be into you is when she suddenly becomes your audience. This is because women know men don’t like to listen to them all the time. If she’s interested in you, a woman will: listen to you, laugh at your jokes, have a big smile across her face, and will encourage you to keep talking.

She shares with you
Buying women drinks may be a great way to start a conversation for most men, but it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s interested in you. A woman who shares her drink with you, however, is a way better indicator. She is comfortable enough to let you come closer and take a sip. At this point, she is at a more intimate level with you. If you’re lucky, she may even be ready to be kissed. Plus, sharing a drink will save both of you money.

She is curious about you
Interested women will want to know everything there is to know about you. This can be done directly, such as trying to find out if you have a girlfriend. A woman who has no interest in you will rarely even care if you have a girlfriend, boyfriend, or whatever. It can also be done indirectly, such as with body language. Here are some examples to watch for: Her leg, foot, or shoulders point in your direction, she leans towards you, she keeps her eyes locked on you while talking, and she mirrors your exact body movements.
There are many other signs that she may be into you. Can you name a few?

Jesse Aldana

pjtrellshowonlinedating.com
www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow

Beware! If you partner is losing weight they are probably planning to leave

2011-11-08T21:02:00.001+01:00

People who lose weight while they're in an apparently steady relationship are secretly preparing to dump their other halves, says a new relationships study.

The report - by sociologists in Heidelberg, Germany - says happy couples put on weight because there is less pressure on them to be attractive.

Study head Thomas Klein explained: "When you are on the look out for a new partner people try to be as thin and attractive as possible.

"However people in a relationship feel less pressure and often put on weight as they do not watch their weight so much."

The study suggests happy couples don't worry about their expanding waistlines because there is less pressure to look attractive, sociologists claim.

Professor Klein studied the link between happiness and body weight and said the warning signs could include a sudden obsession with the gym or getting involved in sports and diets.

However a crisis in a relationship can end the gluttony, he says. And that could end up with both partners dropping weight.

Researchers studied more than 2,000 people aged between 16 and 55. Among the findings was that people in couples generally weighed more than single people hoping to attract a partner in a competitive dating market.

A separate U.S. report found that married couples put on weight through 'marital synchronicity' - a shared environment of too much calorie-rich food and not enough exercise.

Researchers said: 'Once the ink on the marriage contract dries up, they relax the control they had on their weight and appearance.'

PJ

Find true love!!! http://www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com

Why He Adores Your Butt

2011-11-06T19:06:00.001+01:00

By Jesse Aldana

"When he is checking you out, it makes him feel great to be a man, and he is mesmerized by how it sways."

Why is yours bigger than mine?

Most women have a rounder and voluptuous booty than men do. That’s because women have more estrogen that stores fat in their buttocks, hips, and thighs, but generally not around their waist. For many ages, full buttocks have been and continue to be a symbol of youth, fertility, and beauty.

Sex symbol

Just like women’s breasts provide eye candy in the front, the female booty provides sexual attraction in the back for almost all men. It’s definitely an attention grabber and it’s out there in the open. Jeans sales have increased so much that women’s buttocks may be the number one sexual image of the female body today.

What he’s really thinking

A women’s attractive round butt is incredibly sexy to a man. He loves your curves and how you style it with different clothes. When he is checking you out, it makes him feel great to be a man, and he is mesmerized by how it sways. As you walk away thinking how rude and pig-like men may be acting by staring at your booty all day, just remember that they are merely appreciating your beauty. Of course, there are many other reasons why he digs your booty. Can you name a few?

Jesse Aldana

www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow
www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow

Healthy Living

2011-09-21T09:03:00.001+02:00

By: Sergeant Flex (Tony Edmond, Sr.)

While growing up in the inner-city of Miami, Florida it was quite the norm to be very active into sports and outdoor activities. I have always been an athlete and competitor. Throughout growing up I had always loved playing football, which was a great alternative to the many distractions I faced. Playing the game of football all through elementary, middle and high school and eventually moving on to play semi-pro football, I developed a dream to ultimately play college and professional football. Unfortunately, due to a lack of focus this dream would pass me by, even though a few years after graduating from high school, I eventually went on to obtain a higher education achieving an Electronics Technology degree from Bauder College located in Miami, Florida.

Years later as I continued to seek my place in this world, I found myself wanting and needing a change, while discovering that I had a heart and mind of a servant. I wanted to make a positive impact in this life; therefore I decided to join the United States Army, (1996-2004). Regrettably, I was forced to discontinue my Army career after sustaining a few injuries while deployed overseas. After discontinuing my military career, I decided to return to school. I attended Keiser University in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida graduating in 2010 with a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration with a Management concentration. In conjunction with this education pursuit, I also obtained an Instructional Substitute Teacher Certification as well.

Acquiring the need for much of my life to be in-toned with health and fitness has become a passion and determination as well as a great need for me to share with others. Therefore, I am commissioned and greatly privileged to have the opportunity to share my health and fitness tips, advise, and in sights with you through my forthcoming health and fitness column.

My motivation for this column is to inform others that; you too can live a better life by first believing in yourself and by staying active, then realizing that no one or nothing can stop you from being a happier and better you, but you. For many years there has been a misinterpretation of fitness and/or good nutrition. Example, many have been led to believe that if you just lift weights you then would be considered a fit person, or if you starve yourself by depriving your body of food, you then will lose weight. It is far too often that people are misinformed to believe that this is a good form of dieting when it is the complete opposite, meaning that you must eat in order to maintain a healthy balanced diet and even in many cases in order to lose weight.

Well, I am excited to be the barrier of this bad news, because this misinformation is critically wrong. For that reason, health and fitness goes beyond physical exercise; it is an associated manifestation between mind, body and soul. One must possess a strong mind to cultivate a healthy body, while a healthy physical body in turn supports us in our endeavor to devising a healthy soul. These amongst many are some of the vital subjects that I will be discussing in my new and approaching column. So get ready to be challenged, changed, and enlightened into becoming a better you as we explore together the world of health and fitness, exercise, supplementation, and nutrition.

My success of becoming an award winning 2011 Men’s Physique Champion and a former all-Natural Bodybuilder Champion as well as an inspiring Fitness Professional has provided a great since accomplishments to include the adopted name of “Sergeant Flex”, which is all an accolade to my overall health and fitness in which I’m all very proud of.

Nonetheless, ultimately my goal and intent is to educate, motivate and inspire, and to reach the world by enhancing the lives of as many as possible to be positive and to live a healthier life style through my natural health and fitness insights from a competitor’s point of view. I seek to provide a since of hope to the discouraged or to those that have tried and feel as though they have failed as competitors or to those that may just need a friendly boost and may need to be reminded that they too can do it. The need to inform others that there is no secret behind the magic doors, but that everything they need to become a winner already resides within self is immanent. Therefore, I have become all things to all men (women), so that I might by all means save some. 1 Corinthians 9:22.

“DEDICATION AND DETERMINATION = NEW MIGRATION” (Tony Edmond, Sr.)

If you are interested in more training, health, and fitness information you may contact Tony at sergeantflex@gmail.com.

www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow
www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow

Is monogamy making us miserable?

2011-09-11T18:40:00.001+02:00

I found this article very interesting because I find myself asking the same question. Are we as humans meant to be in monogamous relationships?! What is your opinion?

PJ

By JOHN PRESTON

Marriage can be tough. But one expert believes it doesn’t have to be – that our ‘one mate for life’ rule is unrealistic, unnecessary, even unnatural. We dare to ask if, perhaps, he has a point.

Earlier this year, an Algerian pork butcher called Lies Hebbadj was revealed to have been dividing his time between his wife and three mistresses. This prompted the French Interior Minister to declare that he should be stripped of his French citizenship. Greatly affronted, the all-too-aptly-named Lies hit back saying that keeping mistresses was a French tradition, and if he was stripped of his citizenship then millions of other Frenchmen should hang up their passports too.

Meanwhile, in the United States, the married New York Congressman, Anthony Weiner, was busy emailing photos of his groin to a bemused stranger in Seattle. In between the politician and the pork-butcher came a lengthy procession of men — it is, I fear, almost always men — who have found the chains of monogamy all too easy to break.

Tiger Woods, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Arnold Schwarzenegger, various actors and footballers hunkered down behind their super injunctions… Each year brings forth its rich harvest of adulterers who have vaulted out of the marriage bed and scooted off – leaving heartbreak and lawyers’ bills in their wake. Across age, race and class, it’s the same story. And each year people scratch their heads in puzzlement and wonder where it all went wrong.

Only this year something different happened. Maybe, suggested America’s leading relationships columnist, Dan Savage, it’s time we looked more closely at monogamy and asked if we’re really cut out for it as a species.

After all, Roget’s Thesaurus defines monogamy as “a kind of marriage”. In other words, there are other kinds, and perhaps one of these might suit us a little better.

Savage’s suggestion was a novel one. Hetero sexuals, he reckoned, should learn to behave more like homosexuals — and gay males in particular. What this means, in essence, is that they should re-examine their ideas about fidelity. Savage, who’s gay himself, insists he’s faithful to his partner, and vice versa. That said, his definition of fidelity is one that any thesaurus would struggle to accommodate.

“My partner’s fidelity to me is as important as anyone who’s in a monogamous relationship with someone else; we just don’t define sexual exclusivity as the be-all and end-all of commitment. In other words, we’re faithful to each other, but sometimes we have sex with other people.

“However, that in no way violates our commitment to each other.”

Savage insists he wasn’t trying to ignite a huge moral blaze – yet that’s exactly what happened. “I couldn’t believe how worked up people got,” he tells me. “It was like they were this bunch of children and I’d just told them that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.

“What made the greatest impression on me was just how vulnerable the idea of monogamy must be. Otherwise, why would anyone who just clears their throat and points out that monogamy might not be for everyone, be accused of ruining it for everyone else?”

If, as Savage suggests, we’re not cut out for monogamy as a species, we’re not alone here. Quite the reverse. Scarcely a month goes by without some creature, once thought to be a heart-warming example of lifelong fidelity, being exposed as a serial philanderer.

We now know that swans do not – as once thought – repine in a pitiful, floppy-necked way after the death of their partner. Rather they swallow their grief, plump out their feathers and find another one. Similarly gibbons, far from being models of constancy, get up to all kinds of untrousered mischief whenever they’re off on business trips, or the like.

And then of course there’s the red-tailed blackbird, long-believed to mate for life. In a recent effort to reduce population numbers, a large number of male blackbirds were sterilised, which, in theory, should have knocked the birth-rate on the head. However, to the surprise of biologists conducting the project, the females continued to lay eggs which hatched. The conclusion was inescapable: when those female blackbirds couldn’t get what they wanted at home, they simply went elsewhere.

But we are not red-tailed blackbirds, you cry indignantly. We are humans and what’s natural for them isn’t necessarily natural for us.

Ah yes, but what exactly is natural? As the humorist Ogden Nash once observed, “Smallpox is natural – vaccine ain’t.” Monogamy may be no more natural for us than it is for anyone – or anything – else.

Recent research at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden suggests that the way in which men bond to their partners may, in part, be dictated by a specific gene variant — immediately christened the “divorce gene”. The more of it you have in your genetic make-up, the more likely you are to stray. If you’re a man, that is.

If biology isn’t on the side of monogamy, then nor is history. The idea that romantic love should play any part in marriage is a comparatively recent one. Before the 18th century, it would have been considered the height of folly — mainly because it gave women the right not to enter a loveless marriage, and paved the way to their getting divorced if they did. Marriage and sex simply didn’t go together – at least not as far as men were concerned. Women, it hardly needs adding, were expected to remain models of constancy and fidelity.

Then along came romanticism, bringing ballads, soppy sentiments and a host of unfulfillable expectations with it. A very bad move, reckons Savage. All at once the “monogamous expectation” was imposed on men. “Prior to that, they were never expected to be monogamous. They had access to concubines, mistresses, prostitutes and all the rest of it.”

Skip forward to the feminist revolution of the Sixties. In theory, this ought to have evened up the balance. It did, Savage reckons, but in completely the wrong way. “Rather than extending to women the same latitude that men always enjoyed, we extended to men the confines women have always endured. And it’s been a disaster for marriage.”

So what should we do? Savage has coined a handy acronym for how he thinks couples should behave — “GGG”, which stands for good, giving and game. If couples can’t fulfil one another’s desires, then maybe the best thing is to venture outside the marriage for a while – if that’s what it takes to make the relationship survive.

“I’m absolutely not saying that people should be free to sleep with whoever they want. I’m just saying that if you’re married to someone for 50 years and you cheat on them once or twice, that doesn’t mean you’re bad at monogamy.

“In fact, I’d say you were pretty good at it. All I’m arguing for is a little latitude, a little forgiveness, a little realism.”

Forgiveness… Here we come to perhaps the trickiest question of all to do with infidelity. If you do happen to stray, however briefly, from the marital path, should you tell your husband or wife what you have done?

Traditional wisdom holds that honesty is always the best policy. But once again, are we not setting the bar unfeasibly high? Might it not be more practical to argue for something better suited to our human frailties?

Here I tap the blackboard in an authoritative manner and refer to a flagrantly unscientific survey of some male friends of mine which I conducted for the purposes of this article.

Honesty, say my friends nodding sagely, is for losers. There’s nothing to be gained from telling your partner about a fling. Far from being an act of admirable honesty, it’s actually one of supreme selfishness. This is what we might call the Great Paradox of Extra-Marital Affairs: not telling the truth is both the kinder and more honourable thing to do.

After all, they ask, who benefits from such reckless candour? Not you for sure – not in terms of domestic tranquillity anyway. And certainly not the partner who was happily in the dark before. Far better to keep schtum and carry on. This may be hypocritical, but is that so terrible? Conventional wisdom says it is.

There are, it’s worth noting, plenty of cultures which take a more relaxed attitude to fidelity than we do. Inuit men, for example, have long had “temporary wives” which they take with them on otherwise lonely treks across the tundra, leaving their more permanent wives at home. Closer to home, countries like France and Italy have practically enshrined infidelity in their national identity.

But it may be that we too are becoming more relaxed about infidelity. A recent survey of family lawyers commissioned by financial advisers, Grant Thornton, found that it’s no longer the main reason given by people seeking a divorce in the UK – for the first time in the survey’s history, infidelity has been overtaken by couples saying simply that they have “grown apart”.

So is it time to draw down the curtain on monogamy, to acknowledge that it simply doesn’t work for us? Perhaps – but before we do, let us pause for a moment and refer back to my panel of friends. All have succumbed to temptation. All cling feverishly to the idea that they’ve done nothing that bad; they’ve simply followed their instincts. Yet there’s some thing else they have in common: all are divorced and all are steeped in record levels of confusion, misery and self-pity.

Surely this alone should give one pause for thought. To be unfaithful can never be a minor infraction. It is a betrayal – there’s no way around this.

Nor is infidelity a shallow pool into which you can dip your toe every so often. Rather it’s a whirlpool that will suck you in and draw you down. Not only that; however careful you are, the overwhelming likelihood is that you will be caught out. When that happens you will be heaping humi liation upon the person that – in theory at least – you care most about.

And whatever this or that survey may say, once broken, the bond of trust between two people frequently proves impossible to repair. You look at your partner with new eyes and wonder if you ever really knew them in the first place – if whatever you shared wasn’t just a sham.

Andrew Marshall, author of How Can I Ever Trust You Again? From Infidelity to Recovery in Seven Steps, believes there are strong practical and moral arguments in favour of monogamy. For a start, he says, he’s never met a heterosexual couple who have made licensed infidelity work.

“The only couple I’ve counselled who tried to do that fell at the first hurdle. They tried to be honest with one another, but the amount of jealousy and upset was extraordinary.

“And if people aren’t being honest then I suspect it’s even worse. You may think you’re having uncomplicated sex, only there’s no such thing because sex binds people together.

“You’re playing with fire and you’ll almost certainly get burned.” And, of course, it’s not just you and your partner who’ll end up burned – any children you may have are almost certain to suffer too.

Here’s yet another reason why, Dan Savage’s many critics have lost no time in pointing out, it’s absurd to suggest that heterosexual couples should behave more like homosexuals.

In Marshall’s experience, infidelity doesn’t necessarily work for gay couples either. “What tends to happen is that they have a don’t ask/don’t tell policy, but someone invariably ends up getting jealous. Or else they have sex with everyone apart from each other and drift into a sibling relationship.”

Humans, Marshall believes, “are always at our best when we aim to be as good as we possibly can. I think we have to aim high. But I also think we should try to be a little more charitable and try to solve the underlying causes that lie behind infidelity. If people put the same energy they expend on an affair into their marriage or relationship, it’s quite possible they could solve their problems.”

In the late Sixties, at the height of the sexual revolution, the American novelist John Updike wrote a novel called Couples, closely based on his own experience, in which a group of married couples in New England gaily swap beds, heedless of the consequences.

Not long after writing the book, Updike’s first marriage fell apart. Years later, he was asked if he regretted his behaviour. Did he think he should have stuck with his wife, even though it felt more natural to separate?

“Yes,” Updike replied. “I’ve been married twice, and breaking up the first marriage was the worst thing I’ve ever done, in terms of suffering. I wouldn’t,” he added with evident feeling, “want to go through that again.”

RELATED ARTICLES
Einstein's theory of fidelity

Find true love!!! http://www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com

5 Ways To Understand Her Better

2011-08-27T09:42:00.004+02:00

This article was brought to my attention by my friend and contributing writer to the PJ Trell Show blog, Freya, The Goddess Of Information. Guys pay close attention to this article and learn a few things about your woman that you may not know.

PJ

Wouldn't it be a relief to finally understand what is happening behind her pretty eyes? Why is it, for example, that the woman in your life is serene one moment, apocalyptic the next? How can she remember details about your life you don’t even recall? And what’s with her taking everything so personally? Chalk it up to female brain chemistry. Here’s how to tailor your courtship to her cortex, hippocampus, etc.

1. Pay attention to the little things
She’ll see shades of meaning in small gestures, because significant regions of the cortex — the outer layer of a brain that conducts much of its high-level computing — are thicker in the ladies. Therefore, an off-hand comment like, “I’d rather watch the game” might say more than you meant it to. Likewise, a small act of kindness (from a kiss on the cheek to simply calling ahead to make reservations) will blow her away because she’ll consider both the gesture and the thoughtfulness behind the gesture.

2. To keep up with her memory, take notes
It’s a scientific fact: women remember everything. The hippocampus takes up a larger percent of the female brain than the male brain, which is good to know because it’s where memories are formed. So while you remember — maybe — the day you met, she’s recorded your first flirtation, first phone call, first date, first kiss, etc. Bottom line? There’s a reason the PDA and the Google calendar were invented. Use these electronic tools to keep up with her mighty hippo campus.

3. Follow her calm lead versus instigating fights
She’s much better at reining in her aggressive impulses than you are. Doctors at the University of Pennsylvania measured the size of the orbitofrontal cortex, an area of the brain involved in regulating emotions. They then compared it with the size of the amygdala, which creates emotional reactions to events. They discovered that female brains have a much larger orbitofrontal-to-amygdala ratio (OAR) than male brains do. That suggests women are better than guys at responding calmly to rudeness or aggression. “The orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) is the main ‘modulator’ of amygdala action,” explains researcher Ruben Gur. “So if you are at a party and someone insults you, the amygdala, which is a very primitive and old structure in human brains, will be yelling, ‘Kill the guy!’ The OFC is the part of the brain that will say: ‘Consider the context; there are people around.’” Thus, if you want to impress her, quiet your own amygdala and behave as gracefully as she does.

4. Write her a poem... or at least a cute email
“Women excel in something called verbal fluency, or being able to come up with appropriate words, given cues,” says Dr. Larry Cahill of the University of California at Irvine. In general, women’s brains are wired to be more language-centric than men’s. Researchers at McMaster University found that female brains have a greater density of neurons in parts of the temporal lobe cortex, which is the area of the brain associated with language processing and comprehension. This could help explain why women often know the right thing to say, send great cards and love notes, and choose words with such care. In wooing a love interest, it wouldn’t hurt to get the help of a trusted female friend. She’ll know just what to say.

5. Be her serotonin
Women’s brains produce significantly less serotonin — the brain chemical that helps make us happy — than male brains do. So if she has a tough day at work, treat to her to a transfusion: try a pep talk, soothing back rub or long hug.

Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time. For the other side of this story, read 5 ways to understand him better.

Find true love!!! http://www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com

Goodbye Amy Winehouse

2011-07-24T20:15:00.003+02:00

This episode of the PJ Trell Show, I say my goodbyes to Amy Winehouse who was recently found died in her London home. I was a very big fan of Amy's music and sadden me that someone with so much talent couldn't be helped. Goodbye Amy, I hope you are finally at piece.

PJ

If you were a fan on Amy Winehouse, please leave a comment.

Thank you!!!

Everything You Didn't Know About Sex, But Thought You Did

2011-07-14T07:18:00.001+02:00

I loved this article and it really got me thinking. I have written some articles with suggestions on how a man can get more sex, but was I wrong with some of the assumptions I made? I am going to read and reread this article and come to my conclusion and share it with you on an up coming PJ Trell podcast. But until then I would love to get your opinion on this subject. What's really happening when a partner that does not have any physical conditions that will restrict sex, refuses to have sex with their partner?

PJ

Everything You Didn't Know About Sex, But Thought You Did

by Sarah Ditum

If there's one thing we absolutely, definitely know about sex, it's that men desperately want penetration and women need more hugs to be happy. Except that, actually, maybe that isn't true at all, because an international survey of couples for the Kinsey Institute suggests that it's men who thrive on non-sexual physical intimacy, while women are remarkably unfussed about being cuddled. All this time we've been enjoining the boys to try a little tenderness, and it turns out that it might be girls who tend to be stingy with their embraces.

The Kinsey survey is only a start to understanding how couples feel about sex and intimacy in long-term relationships, but it's fascinating because – despite the fact that we seem to live in oversexed times, when we can all enjoy Rihanna whooping up her love for whips and chains, get the ins and outs of footballers' lives on tabloid front pages and even be seduced into buying cat food with weirdly eroticised adverts – we don't actually know very much about how much sex matters in ongoing partnerships.

We certainly don't seem to be very good at valuing sex as a part of relationships. Over the weekend, I was surprised to read a moving confession from a man describing himself as "the rejected husband", who describes the misery and rejection of being in a relationship where sex has died. "I ache for you," he writes. "Not for sex, but for sex with you."

It shouldn't be shocking to hear that sex is important, and those who are forced to live within the restricted means of a beloved partner's limited libido are often very unhappy; but it is, because the voice of honest, faithful frustration so rarely gets a platform. And when people like the rejected husband do get an answer on problem pages, it's rarely a sympathetic one.

Instead, they're often told that they're the one doing it wrong. Give your partner a break from housework and offer her a massage, suggests Dear Deidre. Talk to your wife about sex, says Luisa Dillner, to a man whose question explicitly states that his wife refuses to talk about her lack of desire for sex. Have you considered, asks Mariella Frostrup of a man whose wife has refused to have sex at all for two-year stretches, that you might actually be a bastard?

Sharing out the burdens of domesticity, communicating and reflecting on your own behaviour are all important things, obviously; but the underlying message here is that if you've tried those things and you're still not satisfied, then you'll simply have to live with sexual starvation, or leave. That doesn't seem very fair.

It's actually pretty reasonable to expect sex to be a continuous part of a relationship; the partner who's being unreasonable is the one who's decided on their own that physical intimacy is over – not because of health problems, other relationships issues or an immediate obstacle such as just having had children, but purely because he or she doesn't fancy bunking up any more.

In that situation, the partner who's been shunted off to the edge of the mattress should be able to say that this is a problem without feeling guilty or ashamed. And the one doing the shunting should be encouraged to concede that, actually, expecting someone who wants sex to go without it permanently is asking them to go way beyond any reasonable definition of fidelity.

One other, encouraging way that the Kinsey report went against expectations was by showing that women became more sexually satisfied as they got older (the researchers guessed that this might be a result of children growing up relieving stress on mothers, while reduced anxiety about fertility made sex more enjoyable for women). And the really heartening finding was that, when relationships lasted, they seemed to get better with time.

Things do seem different for men and women, but, if the Kinsey research is accurate, not in exactly the ways we expected. Agony aunts, maybe it's time to stop suggesting that rejected husband makes do with giving his wife a neck rub and insist that she gives him one instead. It'll make him happier, even if it doesn't lead to sex; and for her, it's an investment towards a contented middle age where the sex begins to get really good.

www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow
www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow

Ex-Etiquette: Don't rush into introducing new love interest to kids

2011-07-03T10:50:00.001+02:00

After reading this article I had to share it with you. When I introduced my wife to my child of a previous marriage, let's just say my daughter didn't greet my her with open arms.

In a situation where a couple divorce and there are children involved, the parents must consider the children feeling when getting back in the dating scene. If you are in this situation, the below article will give you some helpful advice.

PJ

Ex-Etiquette: Don't Rush Into Introducing New Love Interest To Kids

By JANN BLACKSTONE-FORD AND SHARYL JUPE
Contra Costa Times

Q: I have been separated for almost nine months and I'm in the process of a divorce. How and when do you tell your children you are in a relationship with someone else? My daughter is 12 and my son is 19. Both know this individual and my son has seen us together just recently. Any ideas or suggestions for this situation?

A: Good for you for being concerned about this. Many parents don't really understand the importance of keeping information about new relationships away from the kids until they actually know the person will be a "permanent" part of their life, and then they seemed shocked when the kids don't take to the new person. Another misconception among divorced parents is that introductions can be more casual when the kids are older because "they get it." But remember, 18 is an arbitrary number someone assigned to adulthood. You will always be your child's parent, no matter how old they are. And if the situation is not handled with care and respect an introduction too early can actually sabotage the future relationship between your new partner and your kids. Once the kids have formed a negative opinion of your new pal, it will be difficult to undo.

Here are some tips for kids (around the age you mention) to help with those all important introductions:

1. Keep first introductions short. Don't do things like plan a camping weekend with the kids and bring the new partner along for the first introduction. Good first intro activities might be grabbing a pizza or going bowling - something to keep the kids in a social atmosphere that doesn't demand too much energy - and has an easy escape plan if things start to get uncomfortable.

2. When introducing someone to the kids for the first time, stay away from labels like, "boyfriend," "girlfriend," or anything that symbolizes you have made a commitment before the kids have even met the person.

3. Keep open displays of affection to a minimum. Kids do not see their parents as sexual beings and lots kissing "grosses them out." Hugs aren't so bad, but at first, keep those downplayed, too.

4. New partners should be careful not to hug or kiss the kids before they are ready. Let them show you when it is appropriate.

5. If the kids like the person, they might want you to move faster than you should. Although following the kids' lead is important, remember, they're still children.

6. Once you are in a relationship with someone, don't forget the one-on-one time with the kids. If you hear, "How come he's always around?" you've overdone it.

(Dr. Jann Blackstone-Ford and her husband's ex-wife, Sharyl Jupe, authors of "Ex-Etiquette for Parents," are the founders of Bonus Families (www.bonusfamilies.com). Reach them at ee@bonusfamilies.com. )

www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow
www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow

Having Trouble Meeting Someone Online!/A Few Tips

2011-07-03T08:49:00.001+02:00

Are you having trouble meeting someone online? Here are a few tips to get you pointed in the right direction.

PJ.

Making Your Online Dating Profile, With eFlirtExpert.com

by Katherine Bindley

Having no luck with the online dating scene? There's a good chance the problem isn't you — it's your profile. We enlisted the help of Laurie Davis, online dating coach and founder of eFlirt Expert, a dating consulting service, to learn the art of marketing your online personality. Davis, 29, lives in New York and we find her especially credible for having turned a Twitter flirtation of her own into a serious relationship.

1. Choose The Right Site

Before you actually start your profile (or redo it, as the case may be) you should make sure you're on the best dating site for you.

"A dating site is only as good as the matches on it for you," says Davis. What's right for the Brooklyn hipster might not be right for the Manhattan corporate type (think Howaboutwe.com if you’re the former, Match.com if you’re the latter).

While you're probably most familiar with the big online dating outposts – like Match.com and eHarmony – don't overlook the many niche sites out there, from Cupidtino, geared towards fans of Apple products (made in Cupertino, CA -- get it?) to IvyDate, which is aimed at those who are, shall we say, educationally selective? Whatever your taste, it's worth researching which site is right for you -- so worth it that Davis is launching a site in July, eFlirtEngine.com, that will help you choose.

2. Create A Unique User Name
It should be different from any you use in other parts of your life (i.e. your Twitter handle). This also means you should not use your real name. Why? You want your prospective mate to meet you in person before he meets you via search engine.

"You really don't want Google to be the first impression to your maybe husband," Davis says.

It's worth having some privacy as you're getting to know someone. After your first date? Google-stalk away; odds are he will too.

3. Don't Use Other People's Profiles As A Guide
When it comes time to write your profile, avoid the common misstep of looking to other people's pages for inspiration.

"It's going to be hard to catch the eye of your perfect match when Stacy sounds exactly like Suzy, [who] sounds exactly like Jennifer," says Davis.

If you need a second opinion, she advises asking a friend -- but be aware that the friend isn't your target audience.

4. Organize Your Profile Appropriately

Don't put information about your career or the last book you read in a paragraph describing yourself if there are places for that information built into the profile. Davis says you want to make your profile skim-friendly; having it organized as the site intends facilitates this practice.

5. Choose Your Pronouns Carefully

If you're describing your ideal mate, do not refer to him as "you."

"It comes off a little disingenuous because they get that you're talking to so many different people at the same time," says Davis. "It can sound over the top."

Read the following out loud: You enjoy fine wine, you love to laugh and you'd like nothing more than to travel the world. Now substitute "he" for "you," and read it again. Hear the difference?

6. Avoid Online Dating Cliches

While we’re on the subject of enjoying fine wine, loving to laugh and wanting more than anything to travel the world — don't even think about putting any of these overused lines in your profile.

Another tired conceit to avoid? Joking that if things work out, you're willing to lie to people about where you met.

According to Davis, that particular line is a great way to communicate that you're not so confident about the experience you're about to have.

If you must use clichés, Davis advises making them more specific: say which wines you like, your favorite comedians, or recall some very specific experience you had on a trip.

7. Don't Provide A Laundry List Of Things You Don't Want

"No ultimatums," says Davis.

Starting out with "Don'ts" and "Nevers" makes you sound negative and also tends to induce oversharing. If you say you could never be with a guy who isn't as loyal as Lassie, odds are someone will read between the lines and figure out your last boyfriend cheated on you.

8. Lose The Intangibles

You're a great listener? That’s excellent, but unfortunately most guys are unlikely to email you to say they want to hear more about it.

"It's better to tell a story," says Davis. "Maybe about things that not everyone likes to do, like salsa dance." A potential match can then ask how you got in to salsa dancing as an ice breaker.

9. Write Just Enough

Once you've written about yourself in an original way, go back and see how long it takes to read through it. If it's over two minutes, Davis says, you need to start cutting.

"What people do wrong there is either write too much or too little," she says. "They'll write a novella and it'll be 17 paragraphs long or they'll write one paragraph."

Think two to three paragraphs for the "About Me" section and a couple of sentences for each of the others.

10. First Impressions Count – Especially Online

Now that you've cut (or added) several hundred words, take a look at your first sentence and your last sentence. Are they attention grabbing and do they say enough about you?

"It's your first impression and your last impression," Davis says. "Too often, I see people ending on negative notes, or starting with something that just could be a sentence from anyone's profile."

11. Use Clear, Current Photos

Next up is selecting between four and six pictures. Davis says that range is appropriate and that one of them should be a full body shot. You also shouldn't choose a photo from five years ago: picture quality has improved dramatically in the last couple of years, so viewers will probably detect that it's old.

Also, "if you don’t represent the you that you look like now, that's going to be a challenge when you meet up," Davis says.

Avoid pictures where someone has to pick you out of a crowd, too, or squint to see you, and be sure to choose a very clear shot of your face for your main picture: it needs to be eye-catching even when scaled down to thumbnail size.

12. Don't Repeat What You Don't Need To

Information you've already provided in a basic questionnaire – such as the fact that you're divorced or have kids – is already visible to others. No need to mention it again in your profile.

For a complete guide to online dating check out my book "PJ Trell's Guide To Online Dating/Keeping It Real"

www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow
www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow

Is Tracy Morgan's apology enough?

2011-06-11T10:19:00.001+02:00

CAPTION By Charles Sykes, AP

Tracy Morgan got his self in hot water with Gay rights groups by stating that being gay is a choose and that the homosexuality is something that kids learn from the media. In my opinion, Tracy is half right. I feel that bisexuality is a choose and is learned from popular culture, porn and the media. In todays culture it seem that being Bi is the cool and hip thing to be.

Check out the USA Today article and tell me what you think about Tracy Morgan's commits regarding homosexuality.

PJ

Gay rights groups have asked Tracy Morgan to apologize for a June 3 bit he did at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville in which the comedian is said to have claimed that being gay is a choice, that homosexuality is something that kids learn from the media, and that gay youth victims of bullying are simply "whining."

And now he has. In a statement to Lifeline Live, Morgan says:

"I want to apologize to my fans and the gay & lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville. I'm not a hateful person and don't condone any kind of violence against others. While I am an equal opportunity jokester, and my friends know what is in my heart, even in a comedy club this clearly went too far and was not funny in any context."

But The Human Rights Campaign says that's not enough. The civil rights group says in a statement that the 30 Rock star is "a role model." Fred Sainz, HRC vice president for communications for HRC, says in a statement that Morgan "needs to go further than his apology and correct the record: no one should feel ashamed because they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender and they should definitely not become a victim of violence. ... Until he does something meaningful, his brand will remain tarnished."

According to Truth Wins Out, an audience member at Morgan's show says that Morgan called upon President Obama to "man up" and stop speaking out for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender kids.

GLAAD president Jarrett Barrios called on Morgan this morning in a statement to "remove these violently anti-gay remarks from his show and send a strong message that anti-gay violence is not something to joke about."

www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow
www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow

Online Dating – Writing An Email That Gets A Response

2011-06-08T08:20:00.007+02:00

With over 25 million users logging on to online dating sites each month, catching someone’s attention requires a bit more than writing a “Hi, I think you’re hot,” email. Women, especially attractive ones, are going to get dozens if not hundreds of emails. With that kind of volume, they may not have time to read each one. How do you make yours stand out?

If you are sending an email - especially to an outside email account - make sure you include a unique subject line in your email or you may find it getting tossed in the recycle bin without even being opened. Lots of SPAM messages come with a generic “Hi” in the subject line. Something as simple as “I saw your Profile on Tagged” works fine and lets the recipient know this is not a SPAM email.

WHAT DO I SAY?
We all want to feel appreciated, and one of the best ways to show that appreciation, is to show your potential date that you are actually interested in THEM, not just their body. Your initial contact should show that you at least read their profile, and are more interested in their personality than just their “insert body part here”.

It’s okay to tell someone their attractive, but don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to a stranger on the street. It’s one thing to say, “You have a really great smile” or “Your eyes are incredible” and another thing all together to say “Those are the most bodacious set of ta-tas”.

Your email should mention what you saw in their profile that interested you, why you think that’s cool, and include a question so that they have a reason to write back.

Maybe something like, “Hi, I was checking out your profile, and I see that you love old Three Stooges movies. Me, too! It’s not often you run into a girl who can appreciate someone poking his fingers in his friends’ eyes! (lol) Who do you like better, Curly or Shemp?”

Another example could be, “Hi, I saw that your favorite band is U2. I saw them a couple years ago at Red Rocks. What’s your favorite album?” – Or if that’s already listed in their profile, try, “What did you think of their latest album? “

It doesn’t have to be something you have in common, either. Maybe it’s just something you’re interested in. For example, “Hi, I see that you’re into Scuba diving. Man, that’s something I’ve always wanted to try. How did you get into that?”

So give it a try. Pick a half dozen or so of the people you are most interested in and try crafting them a short letter. You don’t have to send it yet, just scribble one out.

What is it that interests you about them? (Besides their bodacious set of ta-tas!)

Why do you find that interesting? Maybe they’ve recently been to Egypt and you’ve always wanted to go. Maybe they grew up down the street from your Grandma. Maybe they love beets, and your Uncle Dwight owns a beet farm. Whatever it is, mention it.

Asking a question gives people a reason to start talking. What is it about the topic do you want to know more about? What opinion can you really be interested in?

Consider picking a couple potential dates based on something you have in common, a couple that made you laugh, and pick a couple who are just downright fine! That should give you an interesting mix to get started with.

The more you can show your potential date that you are interested in them as a person, the more likely they will respond to you. And once the conversation starts, you’re halfway to your first date.

For more online dating tips, check out PJ’s book: Keeping it Real at http://www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com

www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com
www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow
www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow

Is Porn Harmful To Your Relationship The Podcast Reply!

2011-05-29T14:56:00.004+02:00

On this episode of the PJ Trell Show, co-host Enrichment, Freya and I discuss "Is Porn Harmful To Your Relationship" You may be surprised at some of the answers.

Don't forget read my other articles and listen to my other podcasts, your one stop shop for everything regarding Love, Sex and Relationships. Helpful articles and my
Adult store with all the special items to take your relationship to the next level.

Follow me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/pjtrellshow) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/pjtrellshow)

Online dating is the best way to find a new relationship. Let "PJ's Guide To Online Dating/Keeping It Real" help you find happiness. http://www.pjtrellshowonlinedating.com

PJ