Love Sources Blog

How many brain surgeons does it take to propose?

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Wed, 30 May 2012 02:51:00 +0000

I think I’ve heard it all… a brain surgeon down in Florida decided to take the plunge and propose to his girlfriend. He wanted to make it the most memorable, romantic day of her life, ya know, the kind every girl dreams of.

Dr. Steve Carr buried the ring in the sand on the sunny beach in Pelican Bay at Naples, Florida. His intention was to return to the very spot with his lady and dig the ring up professing his undying love for her.

Only problem, when he returned to the beach with her to pop the question, the “brain surgeon” forgot where he buried it and lost the engagement ring! That’s right, the genius didn’t even mark the spot with a rock or huge pile of seaweed or anything! WTF? Not the most brilliant of plans.

Not sure I would even recommend burying a ring worth thousands of dollars and then leaving! What if someone had come by and found this little nugget? Ah shit honey, I was going to propose but someone must have found the ring I so cleverly hid! Fail!

After digging for a couple hours, his soon-to-be, smarter-than-him fiancé decided to call in the big dogs with the metal detector. While he doesn’t seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed, she still said yes.

So, let me get this straight, this guy can perform brain surgery on a human being, but he can’t carry out an “elaborate” plan to propose without losing the damn ring? Me thinks his past patients might wanna get their heads checked. Hey, they might find something else the poor guy lost. We can only hope Dr. Carr has his dumbass attacks out side of the operating room…

Make Time for Couple Time

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Tue, 22 May 2012 03:46:00 +0000

It’s very easy to get caught up in the every day, monotonous existence we call life. We work - we come home (maybe sit down for a moment if we’re lucky), have dinner, and take the dog out. Then you make sure the kids’ homework is done and maybe, if you have the energy, do something fun for the evening. Come 9 o’clock, after the kids are in bed and everything is settled, you just want some time to yourself. Reflect on your day and maybe have a cocktail…

In my case, when I am not taking care of everything I need to in order to pay my share of the bills and play gatekeeper to my family, I work on my site or my e-book (and have that much needed cocktail). I usually have my “computer stuck up [my] ass” as Corey so eloquently puts it. Guilty – if I’m not writing, I’m networking or reading or learning or researching. Sometimes he hates it, actually that might not be strong enough a word. I get it. I really do.

There were times when he would be stuck on his Mac screwing around in Photoshop or his most recent software program for photos, especially when he was taking classes to finish his degree. But I understood he was working towards a goal.

He told me the other night he was getting bored. Whooooaah! Rewind *cue the annoying sound of the needle scratching the record* - If ever there were ever three words no woman (or man) wants to hear it’s “I’m getting bored.” I felt like I was stabbed in the chest with the jagged flank of a broken glass. No one wants to believe their relationship is boring.

We had already been arguing that day. Yep, my visitor was on her way :/ At first, I was offended and my evil twin abruptly awoke from her monthly slumber – Oh, I’m boring? I’m sorry you think our life sucks so bad. I’m sorry we live in Sandusky, Ohio and not New York City. Blah, blah, blah (it was much more colorful of course)…

He went on to attempt to dig himself out of the hole he begun to dig himself. Once I thought about it and gained control of Miss Unbalanced, he was totally right! Once I thought about it, we had not even been on a vacation in two years!

I had been so caught up in working my ass off that I wasn’t paying much attention to anything else. We do need a break; we do need to make time for couple time. We have been talking forever about traveling and going to all these places we want to see but yet here we sit.

Granted, he shouldn’t have put it all on me! Make a plan and tell me Hey, next weekend pack your shit and find a sitter ‘cause we’re outta here!

Of course, I knew that wasn’t going to happen, so I do what I normally do… I take charge and make a plan. Corey sucks at planning anything. While I would love for him to take some initiative, I’m a little resistant to giving up that control :)

We both have been working our fingers to the bone. But, things are starting to pay off. It’s time to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We deserve it and we owe it to each other for putting up with each other’s shit for so long…

In a couple weeks, Shytown here we come! Looking forward to some much needed couple time <3

Did you see it?!

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Thu, 17 May 2012 01:42:00 +0000

OMG! Did you see the season premier of The Bachelorette!!!!! *in my annoying preppy girl voice*

That’s o.k., me neither… Actually, upon reading the headlines in Yahoo! today, I was quite disgusted this show still existed. Well, no more so than realizing a headline with Kim Kardashian was right along side it!

Does The Bachelorette really get this many ratings? Are there this many Americans who believe the show is based on reality?

In plenty of articles circulating around the web today, many are bashing the men who showed up to “win” Emily’s “love”. For instance, the guy who dressed up like a grandma toting a cane as a prop (freak), or the other weirdo with the egg.

Hey I didn’t watch it, I just read! Yeah, there are some strange cats out there, but such is life. No one, however, seems to ever comment on the star of the show. So, let me be the first:

I mean, look at the “Bachelorette” of this season, (hell, look at any of them from past shows for that matter) Emily kinda reminds me of one of the chics right out of The Stepford Wives. Seriously, there is an uncanny resemblance:

Emily:

The Stepford Wives:

Creepy for sure…

But what really disturbs me more is that she plays this sad, little, single-white-female raising a child all by herself and can’t find the one. Sniff-sniff, cry-cry, bullshit! If you were really concerned with your daughter and her well being, you wouldn’t be on T.V. looking for a “daddy” for her!

Way to teach your daughter that the way to find true love is to have umpteen guys fighting and competing for you and in between the all the drama you go on numerous dates, kiss how many pairs of lips, and screw as many of these dudes (as if it doesn't happen) as you see fit in order to discover which one you really want to spend the rest of your life with. Oh, and who is going to be a stellar role model for your little girl. All in a matter of weeks mind you. Bravo!

Emily, along with any one else who has ever appeared on this show is nothing more than a fame whore looking for their 15 minutes. This show, if that’s what we want to call it, should be reserved for single people who are completely unattached. (Not that it would then, receive a raving review from me.) Don’t bring these innocent children into it for Christ sake! You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say!

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Fri, 11 May 2012 00:09:00 +0000

So, after my little fiasco today, I had to call my mother and get her thoughts. Many times she is my voice of reason. I explained to her my conversation with Corey and my ultimate surprise.

She suggested maybe he was just trying to get a rise out of me and not to take it so seriously. Well, being the “serious” person I am, makes it somewhat difficult for me at times. But, that’s why I call her; she can help me put a different spin on it and look at it from a different angle. (Hey, I even need an unbiased opinion at times :)

When Corey woke up today, I was doing some things in the kitchen as he was trying to grab a bite to eat before heading into work. I jokingly told him, “Get outta my way ya Bible thumper.”

He proceeded to joke around with me and claimed he only said that because that’s what most of those people believe (those who oppose gay marriage that is). He proceeded to say, again, how he could give a f*ck what anyone else does. He was a bit more lengthy and descriptive, but I will leave that to your imagination. Now that is the Corey I know and love!

So why on earth wouldn’t you say that to begin with? Now my conversation with my mother makes sense. He does love to get a rise out of me whenever the opportunity presents itself. Damn him! I should know this after this long, right?

Say what you mean, mean what you say. If you don’t, people are bound to misconstrue.

I am just glad that this is one time I completely misunderstood what he was trying to convey… or should I say, he completely should have kept his mouth shut?

Whew, that was close!

It did seriously get my thinking, however… what if he was serious? What if he did mean what he said? Would I be able to live with that? Would we be able to get past our differences on such a huge topic? Not that it would affect us personally, so maybe we could?

My guess is there are many people out there who are in relationships who have these different views. But, do they end up staying true to themselves, or do they allow the other to convince them to change their stance all in the name of love (I actually know some people who have)?

I suppose two individuals, who are strong and confident in their own skin and beliefs could make it work. So long as they both know they can’t or should never try to change the other’s mind. After all, it could make for some interesting, adult dinner conversation…

I thought we were on the same page?

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:03:00 +0000

In light of Obama supporting gay marriage, I had the opportunity to have a (somewhat) intellectual conversation with Corey. He usually doesn’t say too much about politics or serious issues so I was rather looking forward to talking about it.

Corey has always had the stance of “I don’t care what people do, it’s none of my business.” I guess I kinda inferred that to mean he felt the same way I did about it to an extent. Although he had mentioned before that he thought it was ok for women to be with each other, even thought it was “hot”, but men, hell no. Of course it’s hot when it’s in a porn, but women actually have a relationship? I think this is the hypocritical opinion of most men.

Today, Corey said something much different about the issue. While we both agreed that Obama’s “evolving” opinion was a political move, Corey again said, “I don’t care what they do, it’s their business.” He went on to say, “It’s not right though. Marriage is a religious thing.” While I was attempting to lay the foundation for my argument he actually said, “It says it in the Bible. It’s not normal.” And he said it with conviction.

Holy hell! I never in a million years dreamed my fiancé, whom I thought all this time shared my views, would throw the Bible at me! Of course, knowing what I know about our relationship, everything we have shared, and the way we live our lives it is nothing more than blatantly absurd hypocrisy at best (as it is anytime anyone brings up the “Bible” in my presence). I was absolutely astounded by the words that left his lips…

The same man who watches porn (including women on women), the same man who watches this porn with me! The same man who has tattoos of his own, curses like the truck driver of an 18-wheeler, among many, many other things I do not wish to mention, and has never in the four years we have been together even remotely referenced the “Good Book”.

When we first started dating, we had the whole “religion” conversation. I thought we were on the same page. After this, we may be in completely different hemispheres!

With everything that is running through my head today… how do I handle the 14 year old girl who requested my assistance on her situation, my son’s doctor appointment this afternoon, bills that have to be paid… now I must process this most recent revelation in my own relationship?

What does this mean? Will I turn around a year from now and he’s insisting we go to church? (Hey, it’s been know to happen) Church is not even in my vocabulary!

My brain has come to a screeching halt yet my thoughts run circles around me.

This may take a while for me to absorb…

Many Things Coming! (Ok... total bragging rights :)

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Wed, 09 May 2012 02:40:00 +0000

I know I haven't updated in a while, and for that I apologize. However, the good news is that my recent silence is due to good things coming to Love Sources.

I'm no different than many of you; I have my own house to run; a child to take care of (two if you count my dog), a fiance to keep happy, and a part time job outside the home (as well as the ho-hum, boring daily life crap we all deal with). I also try to continue to build my online presence and work on that e-book I have been promising everyone (looking about the end of the year for that, but it will totally be worth the wait!).

Surely you understand that my family and my home take first priority over everything! After an extremely busy week taking care of my own business followed by a weekend of manual labor in my yard by day and playing "model" for Corey's photographic talents by night, understandably, I - am - ex - hausted! Hey, he gives me the majority of my content, or helps to contribute anyway. Of course, that totally depends on who you ask. What's fair is fair, right? But, seriously, I slept away the majority of my Monday, which is totally not like me!

However... This past week has been pretty exciting and worth losing an entire Monday to beauty rest. I appeared on Real Coaching Radio as a guest (shout out to Steve, you rock!), worked on a chapter of my e-book, and I have been collaborating with the local newspaper, Sandusky Register, on creating a new advice column. That's right, yours truly and all my expertise is going to soon be in print!

I have been working with the assistant managing editor, Shawn, at the paper; man, what a cool, intelligent, inspiring fella :) And the Register has recently been voted by the Associated Press as one of the best daily newspapers in Ohio for the 5th year in a row. I hope I can live up to that! LOL

The column is expected to be out by the end of this month. For all of you who follow this blog and/or follow my updates at Love Sources, you can now follow me there too! I know, I know... What do you care, you don't get this paper delivered to your front door, right? Well, it's online too, so there's no excuse!

I am so looking forward to this new venture and frankly, I couldn't be more flattered and excited. To all of my loyal readers, I do hope you will have room in your weekly reading enjoyment to check out my new column in the weeks to come at my hometown paper, Sandusky Register...

Hope to see you all there! <3

Stay Off My Man’s Facebook Page!

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Wed, 02 May 2012 01:33:00 +0000

Do you ever wonder when your partner’s phone makes that distinct sound of an incoming message? Do you sometimes mull over the look on their face, or the little laugh, or their disturbing silence after they read it?

I think we all do sometimes. We all have a little insecurity inside of us that makes us a little paranoid once in a blue moon.

Two days ago, Corey received notice of a message on his phone. I happened to be sitting beside him when he received it. “WTF is that?”, he said. Of course, I glide over curiously. He was on Facebook (you never can tell what type of message due to the overwhelming number of sounds that can be assigned to each and every service). Sure, you may think my cup of jealousy runneth over. Whatever, I say, always be alert! Besides, a little jealously never hurt anyone.

I’ll be damned if there wasn’t a picture of some chic’s ass, legs, and sparkly silver hooker shoes! What would be your initial thoughts if some chic posted this picture on your man’s Facebook page…

Oh, I was instantly pissed. Not at Corey, but at the ballsy bitch who had the gaul to post it!

I asked who the hell she was and what the hell that was all about. He gets defensive because he is doing nothing wrong, and tells me not to over react. Riiigghht. He proceeds to show me a picture of his “friend”. O.k., not too cute, but so what? That’s not the point; I ride solely on principal. (As if he wouldn’t have the same reaction if some dude posted a pic of some random guy’s six pack abs? Me thinks so!)

Now my investigative nature takes hold before I blow a gasket on this chic. Not only did she tag my fiancé in the gay ass picture, she tagged 45 other friends of hers. WTF?

Turns out she must be some sort of affiliate with this shoe company and trying to make a buck. Bad form!

I politely commented on the post to make myself be known…

“No thanks, but I’m not into hooker shoes :)”

I also noticed another “friend” of hers commented as well expressing her disgust that she would use her page as an "advertisement".

First of all, don’t post shit like this on a guy’s wall! Come on! They were women’s shoes to begin with and anyone in my position would have had the same disturbed, initial reaction. I mean, look at the picture, would you not be pissed?

Second of all, she broke the first rule of Facebook! You don’t fucking advertise (SPAM) on someone else’s page without first having their permission!!!!!!! Really? Join a frigin’ fashion, or shoe group. I am sure Facebook has a shitload (of course in this case maybe a stripper or porn group?). Hell, you could probably make on fortune on both…

Oh, I’m sorry, you’re a lazy bitch who doesn’t want to work and put in the damned research! You would rather post seductive pictures on men’s walls and send their girlfriends, fiancés, and wives into a tissy. Or, is it that you’re hoping these men have trashy girlfriends and they will actually buy your shoes as gifts? I’m confused…

That pisses me off to no end. I run an internet business and it’s common knowledge not to fucking spam! Guess what sweetheart, I reported your post as spam, yep sure did. Wish Facebook would tell you too, cause I don’t give a rat’s ass. Maybe I should kindly lay this blog post on your Facebook lap? Hmmm… Nah, I don’t spam. I would rather people find me on their own or be referred.Ya know, the honest, respectable way to do business.

Even if I knew a stripper who was looking for a new pair of shoes for her next big show, I would never refer you! Learn how to do business my friend, or you’ll run yourself into the ground before you get started.

And… STAY OFF MY MAN’S FACEBOOK PAGE, BITCH!

What Are Men's Biggest Insecurities?

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 03:46:00 +0000

In a recent article on Match.com, author Kent Miller gives us ladies some insights about men’s deepest insecurities. Get this, men are just as self absorbed about their body image and aging as we are! Whodathunkit? Hell, we’re all human. We all want to look our best, feel our best, and fight off those pesky little wrinkles and muffin tops as long as we can. Grow old gracefully? Not on your life!

So, what was the number one insecurity of men (according to Kent)? Hair loss. Yep, I can totally see it. Of course, it’s pretty ironic that the author himself is follically challenged. But, Mr. Miller, you’re still an attractive dude :)

I’ve dated a few balding men in my day. It is their biggest insecurity; especially once it starts fading and men who have hair are scared to death to loose it. I pick on Corey often because I can see a spot on top of his head that isn’t as thick as the rest. Oh, does he get pissed! Hey, he picks on my age so it’s fair game (mind you I’m only 4 years older than him, but I hate getting old!).

I feel for the men who have this issue and have a hard time with it. If you’re overweight, you can lose it. If you have a few wrinkles, there’s botox and creams. But when you loose your hair, there’s hair plugs!

I’ve not run across too many men who have decided to go this route, but when I have, it is actually quite disturbing. It's almost like having a conversation with the person who has the large pimple that needs popped, or a long, black hair on their chin that needs to be tweezed... yeah, it's like that.

Word of advice to the fella’s, hair plugs and rugs are not attractive at all. Save you’re money. It’s actually pretty gross. Embrace your beautiful balding self because there are a shitload of women who find it very appealing and somewhat distinguished. Jason Statham, Vin Diesel (he doesn’t shave his head completely because it’s cool), along with many others… HOT. Need I say more?

We Really Must Learn to Control Our Emotions

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 02:46:00 +0000

Damn, I had a terrible day. Not only am I PMSing, I either have a head cold or severe allergies, and to top it off, someone really pissed me off today. I stopped by my mom’s house to vent, which helped a little. Although I had a shitty day, I did have some pretty good news.

When I came home, I was hoping to share some things with Corey. That’s what we’re supposed to do right? Hey, he comes home after a crappy night at work and usually unloads on me. When he’s excited or wants an opinion, I am the first person he comes to.

I didn’t even come close to sharing my day with Corey. He dug right into me the moment I walked through the door. From arguing with me about what was for dinner to joking with me about my internet history. (Hey I run a dating a relationship website, things are bound to be somewhat questionable I suppose :/)

I ran into a problem with the laptop and needed a password, so, I asked for his help. Heaven forbid I interrupt his time…

He went on a rampage. He tends to forget sometimes that things aren’t always about him and when it’s convenient for him. Whatever… daily battle.

Typically, I can shrug it off, go to him and speak my peace and allow him to chew on it for a while and realize what a douche he is being.

Tonight was a much different story. I blew a gasket. We both said things we probably shouldn’t have said and, between my PMS, not feeling well, and his blatant disregard for my feelings or need for his help (of which I freely and gladly offer to him), I completely lost control of my emotions not to mention my hormones.

Over the years, I have learned to leave him be when we argue. Tonight, I kept going back for more. Yes, I was a raging, relentless bitch and not about to apologize.

He threw up his wall, and said, “blah blah blah, leave me alone…” along with a few other choice words (of which I graciously exchanged), wishing to be left alone to lie quietly in bed in the dark bedroom he so frequently buries himself in when he’s being anti-social. So, I picked up a pillow next to him and nailed him with it! It was the only thing I could think to do other than attempt to knock his teeth down his throat.

I laugh to myself afterwards, sure (although he didn't like it too much :). But I lost control of my emotions and for that, I am pretty disappointed in myself. It’s been a long time since I have allowed someone, allowed Corey, to dictate my actions or allowed myself to react to someone else’s negativity in such a way.

Blame it on hormones, head cold, bad day? Nah, it was only me. No matter how big of a dick he was being, I had a choice to keep my emotions in check or act like an even bigger douche than him… I guess for tonight, I’m a douche bag too.

Hey, nobody is perfect, we’re all a work in progress… but please guys, don't push it so close to that time of the month!

Cesar Millan Divorces: Wife Gets Huge Payout

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 02:00:00 +0000

Cesar Millan was granted a divorce from his wife, but not before agreeing to give her a lump sum of $400,000 plus another $23,000 a month! Of course that’s not including the ten grand he has to pay in child support. It’s not clear how long he will have to pay the outrageous alimony.

Cesar and his wife had been married since she was 18 years old. She was said to have been the brains behind his empire. In exchange for her fortune, she must remain silent about theirpersonal life. Must have been a very interesting marriage! Makes me very curious what she has on him. It has got to be good!

I wonder if this would have turned out differently if, once he had become famous, they signed a postnuptial agreement while they were still getting along. However, the fact that she had been there from the beginning, I think she deserves it. But, every situation calls for a different result.

Many would instantly be turned off by the notion of a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement. However, in light of the ramifications of yet another Hollywood divorce, I at least would hope more would consider it. Especially those who are affluent or see themselves becoming so.

For many average people, this wouldn’t appear to fulfill any certain need. For other’s, it’s a much different story. Long gone are the days when a financially struggling individual (or not quite as well off) should be offended by their otherwise wealthy fiancé to request a prenup. At least they shouldn’t be.

Let’s not forget that marriage is a contract in and of itself. A prenup is simply an addendum so to speak. It’s much better to protect yourself. The sad truth of the matter is over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Do we ever want to believe the person who confesses their undying love for us would ever screw us over? Of course not. Unfortunately, this is the world we live in today and you just never know.

It used to be most people would say If you loved me you wouldn’t ask me to sign this… Truth be told, if you really loved them, signing a prenup wouldn’t be an issue if you were truly in it for their heart and not their cash…

Are Males Escorts Prostitutes?

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 02:11:00 +0000

Today was quite an interesting episode on Dr. Phil (yes, I know, but hey, they have good topics sometimes!). He interviewed two high-end male escorts with the agency Cowboys 4 Angels. We all know this kinda thing exists, but come on…

The two guys proceeded to disclose how much they charged, what type of “clients” they had and repeatedly defended their “service” stating that they by no means contracted for sexual service. Which is skeptical considering the prices were absolutely astronomical from $350 and hour to nearly $18,000 for a whole week! They were pretty hot, but not that hot!

One of them even had a girlfriend. I give him props for at least being honest about it. Hey, they’re two consenting adults and if that’s what you knowingly sign up for then have at it. He also made it very clear that he likes to sleep with many different women.

He even admitted that “outside the contract” things have become sexual with clients. Ya think? Call me crazy, but that sounds like an admission to me. But we should not be mistaken; they are not prostitutes. They are offering a “companion service” to elite women with loads of cash. Riiiight...

It amazes me how you can word certain things and find loopholes to get around any law. That’s really all their doing. I suppose it amazes me even more that successful women feel the need to pay for a man’s attention. A man, mind you, who is getting paid to give you his undivided attention as well as the “night of your life”. To each his own, but last I checked that would be called a prostitute.

Hey, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a frigin’ duck!

Sex Toys Should be Illegal… Huh?

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 20:05:00 +0000

I went to my mother’s house yesterday to pick my son up after work, like I do every Friday. My step-dad, David, picks him up from the bus stop for me on days I work at the office. God love him, he’s like the father I never had.

I always visit for a while and we usually talk about the latest news or David’s latest project he is building or considering starting. Yesterday he was elaborating on the huge drug bust in our area, which we were discussing the previous day before. A “Head Shop” was raided two days ago for allegedly selling illegal synthetic drugs.

David went on to say, he thought, the shop sold a ton of illegal substances and novelties, including sex toys. With a surprised look, I glanced at my mom who rolled her eyes with a coy grin on her face. I turned back to David and said with a laugh, “Sex toys aren’t illegal!” He immediately responded, “They should be!”

I couldn’t help but get a kick outta that, and the way he felt about it certainly didn’t surprise me at all. After all, he’s a respectable, old school southern gent, born and raised in North Carolina. And of course, not wanting to distort my “angelic image” in his eyes, I said no more on the subject :)

You may be astonished to learn that sex toys are actually illegal in two states that I found (through the little research I did). Yep, that’s right, Alabama and Mississippi. I happened across an article back in 2008 where a “reporter” and her cronies conducted a “sting” operation to bust a local shop that was illegally selling sex toys. The police were seemingly uninterested in it, and rightfully so. It’s very possible that these laws could have changed by now (at least I hope so for the dear, lonely citizens of those communities).

Of course, it’s not like you would get arrested, subsequently searched, and the cops find a dildo or a pocket kitty in your possession! Can you imagine? LOL… “But officer, I swear it isn’t mine!” Who in the hell would want to be the one signing that report or requesting DNA testing?

What century do we live in? Well, when I am ready to make a move south to a warmer climate, it sure won’t be to Alabama or Mississippi!

Better the Devil You Know…

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 02:10:00 +0000

I recently heard this expression, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” I have to admit, of all the old idioms I have had cross my ears, this was not one of them. I liked it. I love everything about it. It’s an old Spanish phrase that (if you can’t tell) means that it’s basically better to deal with what you have in your life, than to venture into the unknown. It can relate to anything…

Many of us can liken this to our relationships. Basically, relationships are hard as hell. We put up with a lot of shit from each other and sometimes, many of us may get to a point where we think the grass is greener on the other side.

I have come to realize, over time and experience, that every one deals with the same shit we do! Everyone has a “devil”, everyone has the same problems, although some more than others. Granted, there are relationships that are toxic and some people should not be together. However, our petty little bitches about communication, sex, intimacy, money… all of these things can be worked out if you’re both willing to work on them.

I know my petty little bitches about Corey are nothing compared to what I have dealt with in the past. At least I have a man who supports me, loves me, loves my child, trusts me, would never do anything to hurt us, and works his ass off to make sure we have everything we want. Has he hurt me? Sure he has, and I him. But love would not exist without a little hurt. Ya know, Yin and Yang… the balance of nature. We give, we take. We love, we hurt, we forgive, and we still love.

When you decide to enter into a relationship, you go into with all your heart. You accept each other for who you are and you take a journey together. That journey is not always going to be the smoothest ride. But you can’t decide to bail just because things get a little difficult.

Better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t… and actually the devil you know, may just be an angel in disguise…

Student Teacher Romance Fizzles Out

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 15:46:00 +0000

A student who was romantically involved with her former teacher has wised up and left the pedophile. Why? Oh, because shortly after publically speaking out about their relationship, another girl came forward about a sexual relationship she had with James Hooker when she was 17 years old. Not anytime recently, but back in 1998!

So, now their little student teacher romance has taken a horrific dive, imagine that.

I saw this couple on the Dr. Phil show a week or so ago (may have been longer). Jordan Powers and James were there to discuss their “relationship” and Jordan’s mother was there as well to beg her to come to her senses and leave the “predator.”

It’s funny, because during the whole show, he was the one speaking. Jordan hardly spoke a single word. The whole thing screamed “control freak” and “stupid girl”. She did, however, sport a shit-eating grin the whole time. That little girl was so smug and immature I wanted to jump through the screen! If that were my daughter…

I was actually quite surprised Dr. Phil didn’t comment on it. He almost always calls people out. I kept waiting for him to say something and it never came! Disappointing.

Jordan had no issue whatsoever playing her role in destroying his wife and his two children’s lives, but now she has an issue with him sleeping with a girl 1 year, count it, ONE year younger than herself over 14 years ago?!!! WTF? I’m confused.

She had no remorse, no regrets at all and now all of a sudden she’s a victim? Come on. She was actually quoted as saying "I don't know how someone could have such a cold heart." Really? What about how cold you were when you went on national television and professed to the world that you didn’t feel the least bit bad about taking someone’s husband! Put your big girl pants on sweet heart and take a little responsibility; you knew exactly what you were doing. Lesson, hopefully learned.

She does continue to claim that they did not have a sexual relationship until she was 18. (In California the age of sexual consent is 18.) I find her statement hard to believe, but that’s her story and she’s sticking to it. At first, I am sure she didn’t want to get him in trouble. Now, I am sure she doesn’t want to be branded a bold-faced liar.

Silly girl, grow up and get it together. As for you James Hooker, you’re exactly where you belong.

Celebrity Love Disasters This Week...

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 01:55:00 +0000

Kanye West recently professed his love for Kim Kardashian…

I think I just puked a little in my mouth.

In other news…

Jesse James speaks out about his affair on America’s Sweetheart, Sandra Bullock. Of course when any celebrity fucks up, at some point they have to come out and make a “public apology”, tell us all how much they regret what they’ve done and attempt to get back into everyone’s good graces. Not as if it really matters. Does it?

I used to like Jesse James. To me, he was a hot, young, tatted up, motorcycle enthusiast who seemed rather reserved. Sure he was married to a porn star, but hey to each his own. At least he knew his wife was bangin' other dudes! He just appeared to be a really cool guy. Until… well, you know. I don’t think you can ever bounce back from that. Just look at Tiger Woods. Skanks (hey, guys can be skanks too!). Will people never learn?

And last but not least, Super Model Heidi Klum is divorcing her husband of 6 years, Seal. Does no one stay together any more!? Hell, Corey and I have been together nearly 4 years in September. While we have postponed the wedding, I don’t think either one of us is ready to walk out the door. We simply decided that we both have things we need to work on before we commit to a marriage!

I wish more people would consider these things before they decide to make things so legally complicated and involve children.

OMG! reported what Seal had to say about the divorce; "We will be connected in many ways 'til the rest of our lives… through our children and also through this tremendous admiration, respect and love that we have for each other."

If you have that much damn respect and "love" for each other, and you feel so warm and fuzzy inside when you speak of each other, what is it that can’t be worked out? I mean, when is it that you decide staying together isn’t worth the work? Because it is work!

Get a clue. Contrary to popular belief, good relationships are not all unicorns and rainbows…

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 02:19:00 +0000

So by now, we’ve all heard the latest about “That 70s Show” actress who got arrested for beating the living hell out of her husband (or boyfriend, or whatever), right? The poor thing has had a hell of a time, just take a look at her mug shot!

She was arrested for a DUI in 2010 and now this? She has followed suit with Mel Gibson, Lindsay Loan, and many others and taken that long, lonely walk down the celebrity hall of shame. Although, I’m not quite sure if you’re still considered a celebrity after such a long hiatus.

Has she even done any acting since her stint on That 70s Show? So sad, really. She was such a beautiful girl and now when anyone thinks of her, the only thing they will picture is…

Yikes!

And some people think only men can be raging psychos that feed on the physical weaknesses of women :/ Just goes to show you, domestic violence claims male victims as well.

Well, the (previously) gorgeous blonde bombshell has spoken out about her recent tabloid “success”, this is really a must see…

WOW! Did you get the same warm, fuzzy feeling I did and totally know this girl is innocent? Good lord, I thought the woman was gonna have an episode during her “come back” interview! She claims to have not been abusing anything the night of her arrest. Yeah, right. We can all tell she wasn’t abusing anything during the taping of that interview too!

Too soon to publicly humiliate yourself once again? Me thinks so!

Prospective New Client? Uh… I Don’t Think So Freak!

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 01:13:00 +0000

As many of you know, I have an account with a third party where I can accept phone calls from people in need of coaching. At first I liked this service because, sometimes, it is a lot nicer to speak with someone on the phone rather than through emails.

After a few months of getting random, freakishly sexual calls, I decided to only take appointments after a screening process. I am no longer available to just any one. Furthermore, you must sign up for an account with them in order to call me, and frankly, I realize this is more of a pain in the ass for most people. Hence, why I offer dating and relationship coaching right through my site.

After months of sitting on idle, I received an email from a possible client, who I thought was in genuine need of my assistance. Oh, he was in need of my “assistance” all right!

The subject of the email was a mere, Hi there…

Harmless enough, so I opened the email. What proceeded was disgustingly absurd…

------ Original Message ------
From: Rainman000
Sent: 3/24/2012
Subject: Hi There

“I have a thing about my wife getting gangbanged by a bunch of thick long black (rhymes with rocks), can we discuss this?”

Whoooaa! I was so thrown aback from this, it actually took me about an hour to figure out what the hell to say to this guy… And yes, I just had to say something!

“Nothing to discuss really. That's just gross and the fact that you even used your "wife" in that same sentence is disrespectful. I help people with genuine dating and relationship issues. It appears your "issues" are of biblical proportion and quite frankly beyond my "expertise".”

Surprisingly, I actually received a response from psycho boy…

“Thanks for getting back to me.

Your assuming she's not wanting it. When advising others do you assume everything in your desire to be judgmental? Now that sounds like a problem of true biblical proportions.

Have a nice day.”

Meeee, judgmental? Just call it like I see it my friend. And, of course, anyone who knows anything about me understands that I must get the last word in to make my point very clear and make him look like the tool that he was (and I did)…

“If she wants it then why do you seek an advisor? To each his own... but when seeking help it may be in your best interest to not to be so vulgar. I am a professional dating and relationship coach, not a porn forum for vulgar men to discuss their fantasies. Good day, "Sir"...”

(Seriously, you can't make this shit up!)

I am sure I could have said a whole lot more, but it really wasn’t worth my time. Actually, I can’t believe I spent that much time on him. But like I said, gotta get the last word and prove a point, which was obviously needed in this particular case :)

Loving Yourself is One Thing…

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:30:00 +0000

I preach a lot about loving yourself before anyone else will. I thoroughly believe this and I will continue to spread the word. But loving yourself and having confidence in yourself is one thing, deciding to “marry” yourself is quite another all together.

Well, that’s exactly what one 36-year-old woman from Fargodecided to do. Apparently, she is divorced and has three children. She had been waiting for someone to come along, sweep her off her feet, and make her whole again. Then, a friend suggested to her, “Why do you need someone to marry you to be happy? Marry yourself.” Nadine Schweigert took her friends terrible advice and had a ceremony to "marry" herself"

That's right, she had a pretty little dress, a crowd of 45 friends, a cake, and even roses... She read herself her vows and even gave herself a ring! Wow...

Well, silly "friend", I agree she doesn’t need to marry anyone to be happy. But what in the hell possessed you to suggest she marry herself?! Is that even possible?

Marriage is a union between two people who love each other. Furthermore, a “ceremony” is not going to make you more comfortable with or accept your single status anymore than a “ceremony” is going to make two people love each other. It takes time and it takes work!

This actually takes me back to when I was hard pressed to be in a loving relationship. It was soon after my divorce, which utterly broke my heart from what I thought was beyond repair. I went to see my sister, who worked in jewelry at the time. I bought two gorgeous diamond bands. Nothing fancy of course. Guess where I wore them? On my ring finger where a wedding band should be.

I remember showing my mom my newest purchase and telling her, “Well, I’ll just be married to myself!” She gave me the same look I had after reading Nadine's story :) Ya know, that look that said, “I pity you…” and “You’re a moron…” at the same time? (As embarrassing as this is, yes, it’s the truth *sigh*)

It wasn’t long after, I would look down at my rings and think to myself, How sad am I? A man is supposed to put a ring here someday, not me! After this realization, the next three years I spent working on myself. Being alone was hard at times, actually sometimes it really sucked, but it was the best three years I spent with myself!

Why is it that people always think marriage is the answer? People get married everyday who should never be together. You wanna celebrate your single status? Spend your money on a vaca to fuckin’ Vegas or somewhere with white sandy beaches and at least enjoy yourself by partying it up and “flirting” with some great looking guys.

Whatever you do, don’t subject your family and friends to some absurd ceremony that every one thinks is crazy as hell, but they dare not tell you for fear of hurting you more than you already are…

Ben the Bachelor Chooses Courtney

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 03:16:00 +0000

So this past week was the season finale of The Bachelor. Ben choose Courtney at the Final Rose. Was it? I have no idea... But I do know Barbara Walters finally decide to take a peek into what all the hype was about. Her reaction? Complete and utter disgust...

Well where the hell have you been Barbara? Granted I have watched episodes, and those of you who read this blog regularly know how I feel about these so called "reality" shows. They sometimes give me something to write about and, not to mention, hope to spread the word about how T.V. producers and writers really need to get a little more creative and actually earn their money.

What happened to reality T.V. that was unscripted? I do believe there are some. Take Mob Wives for example... Love them! Those girls are hard core and more importantly, entertaining (depending on your taste of course:). While every reality show has got to have some direction from producers at least I believe these girls when I watch them! Shout out to all the girls! Ha!

But this season of the Bachelor, I didn't spend to much time watching. A. because it is some really bad acting and one person can only take so much, and B. because let's be honest, Barbara is right, this time all they had was an "ordinary guy with bad hair."

However, I will disagree with the part where she states the show is degrading to women. Come on now, these women are grown. They know exactly what they are getting into and quite frankly, if you ask me, they are looking for their 15 minutes just as much as the next person. They don't love "Ben" any more than he claims to be looking for "the one".

Seriously ABC, come up with something new. Maybe, just maybe, something "real" for a change. The horse is dead and America's living rooms are beginning to reek of formaldehyde.

Marriage: Just a Piece of Paper?

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:51:00 +0000

Not everyone wants to get married. Take singer Enrique Iglesias for example. He and his famous tennis player girlfriend Anna Kournikova have been together for 11 years and still haven’t tied the knot.

Enrique called Anna his “wife” at a concert (over a year ago) and now the media is asking for an explanation. His response? “It was just meant to be sweet in the moment…” Oh, o.k., it is so very sweet to call your girlfriend of 11 years your wife but really mean nothing by it. Bad form…

Enrique further explained that he believes marriage is just a piece of paper and doesn’t mean you love them any more. I beg to differ. Marriage is a hell of a lot more than a piece of paper. It is a commitment. A strong commitment at that. Come on Enrique, your comment was supposed to be so sweet, you must obviously know that marriage is in fact more than a piece of paper.

Don’t get me wrong marriage isn’t for everyone. When I bartended around 10 years ago, there was this couple who used to come in regularly. They were an older couple and I always assumed they were married. Although they didn’t wear wedding rings, that really didn’t mean anything. One dreadfully slow evening we got to talking about our personal lives a little deeper. They proceeded to tell me they had been together 20 years. That’s a long ass time! But that didn’t surprise me, I could tell they were a happy couple. What surprised me is that this couple had never lived together in that 20 years! They both owned their own home that each of them would go to every night, alone.

They were completely happy with their arrangement. Hey, who am I to judge? Although I had a TON of questions that I dare not ask. Put me in that situation today and I would probably make them blush (or want to smack me :) Each couple defines their relationship. So long as you both are in agreement. If one person wants to get married eventually and the other feels like good ol’ Enrique, well it’s not a relationship that is going to stand the test of time.

While we all know how Enrique feels, I am curious why no one got Anna’s opinion on the matter…

So how do you feel about marriage?

Career Coach Tries to Give Dating Advice...Fail!

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 03:17:00 +0000

In a recent article on Match.com, Margot Carmichael Lester author of The Real Life Guide to Starting Your Career, has taken a stab at giving some advice to those who are out of work and dating. When bombarded on a date with questions like What do you do? or Where do you work? she suggests staying positive and upbeat.

I beg to ask the question, if you are jobless, why in the hell are you even thinking about dating? Don’t you have more important things to worry about right now other than trying to impress someone enough to want to get to know you? You should really be implementing your energy elsewhere, say, in looking for a J-O-B. You can’t possibly make it in the dating world unless you have the rest of your life put together. And what’s more important at this point?

I hate to be the bearer of bad (not to mention honest) news, but you’re never going to make it to a second date if he or she knows from the get go that you are jobless. And why would they or should they for that matter? It's not about looking down on someone, it's about reality. If you're out of work and your first priority is getting a second date, you need to re-evaluate.

No matter what “positive spin” you try to put on it, no one wants to date someone that doesn’t have a solid footing or can at least foot the bill half the time. You say, Well, right now my job is looking for a job…, (as the article would suggest) what she actually hears is, I’m a loser and you’re going to have to pay for everything from here on out. Harsh as it may seem.

Am I saying lie about your situation? NEVER! I am telling you now is definitely not the time to be looking for Mrs. Right (or Ms. Right Now). However, this article is clearly telling you to do so. Don’t take the advice of Margot, she should clearly stick to career guidance.

Unfortunately, this is just the way the world works. While you may want to get out there and give yourself an ego boost, which I’m sure may be needed, you’re only going setting yourself up for disappointment. Unless of course you’re out of work but independently wealthy.

Margot states, “The key is being upbeat about it. Nobody wants to date Danny Downer.” Of course they don’t but let’s be real, nobody wants to date Jerry Jobless either.

Elizabeth Byron Tells Her Side...

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 04:16:00 +0000

This story has really bothered me from day one. First, it was because I am a huge civil rights advocate. The judge’s decision on making someone “say” something to another just burned my ass. I still believe this is a very huge Free Speech issue. Now, after reading Elizabeth Byron’s statement, I can understand what she is going through and she very eloquently made her point.

However, through my work in the prosecutor’s office as a domestic violence advocate and later a paralegal, I also understand that many women use the system to get what they want. I have seen many terrible cases of women who were abused (and I am willing to help each and every one of them in any way I can), and I have also seen just as many of these women abuse the system.

I am just as much an advocate of free speech as I am an advocate against domestic violence. However, There is no record of criminal charges being filed against Mark Byron. Elizabeth claims he violated the protection order 3 different times, yet no charges. A violation of a protection order, in the state of Ohio (where I worked as a criminal paralegal for years), is a misdemeanor of the first degree. It is a civil order that has criminal consequences.

Elizabeth makes claims of “court documented facts” but yet shows nothing to support them. Well, my friends, here is a little factual, real support… Three motions for contempt of court. This is not a violation of a protection order; it’s a civil motion for contempt, meaning that he was not doing what he was supposed to throughout the divorce case. Had he actually violated the protection order, (by violent or threatening behavior), there would most definitely be criminal charges. The most Mark Byron has had regarding any type of charges in the county in which they live is a traffic violation... don't believe me, do a search at the site for his name... Nada.

When I was married, my ex-husband threw me against the wall when I was pregnant. Did I call the police? You bet your ass I did! The police were there in minutes and the evidence was there of what he did (he also ripped the phone out of the wall). He was criminally charged with domestic violence among other things. I can’t imagine a man forcefully throwing any woman’s baby on the bed and her NOT calling the police. But, seems to be the case here… Hey, these are currently the facts and obviously I am the only one to post them so far.

Public information is not too hard to find. Instead of making assumptions and accusations, do a little research and show some facts. For God's sake, not even any of the media articles I have read have shown any of these facts! Really?

Now, I am not saying that what Elizabeth says happened didn’t. Nor am I saying that Mark is an abusive douche bag. I am glad she made a statement. Like I said in my previous post, there are two sides to every story and none of us can ever pretend to know all the details of what they are going through right now. Only they know the truth of their relationship, or lack there of. But this whole thing has gotten seriously out of hand.

At this point, I do not tend to sway to either side. I think this is a very fresh, turbulent and nasty divorce that has gone violently awry. I think both parties need to get a grip, stop placing blame, stop being so Goddamn petty, and settle their differences for their son; the only person who is really going to be hurt by all of this in the end.

I must add... Mark Byron is not concerned with free speech at all... I happened to post my previous blog post to his FB page in support of "free speech" and it was later deleted... guess he only supports the "free speech" which he controls and believes should be heard. (O.k. I lied... due to the blatant disregard of MY free speech, which supported him at that, I think Mark Byron is a complete control freak:)

Facebook Post About Ex-wife Nearly Lands an Ohio Man in Jail

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 04:11:00 +0000

An Ohio judge recently punished an Ohio man for a Facebook post he made. Mark Byron, who is currently going through a really bad divorce and custody battle with his estranged wife, was recently ordered by the court apologize to his future ex about a post he made on FB. Say whaaat?

That's right... apparently the wife has a protective order against him (for whatever reason) and he was found guilty of violating that order for posting on FB, "If you are an evil, vindictive woman who wants to ruin your husband's life and take your son's father away from him completely — all you need to do is say you're scared of your husband or domestic partner and they'll take him away."

Now Byron has to publicly apologize to her on FB, with all of his friends to see, in order to avoid 60 days in jail. Are you fucking kidding me?! I am appalled and who the hell is this judge? First of all, in order to violate a protective order, one must make harassing or threatening statements to the individual or to a third party that is meant to get back to the party. Operative words being harassing and/or threatening. Second, she didn't even has access to his FB page, he was merely venting to his "friends". (Obviously one of them is a very good friend)

A free speech attorney suggested that First Amendment doesn't allow a court "to find that someone has harassed or caused a person to suffer mental abuse merely by expressing one's opinion about a court proceeding in a non-threatening way." I would completely agree. Are you kidding me?

The court held that his comments were "clearly intended to be mentally abusive, harassing and annoying" to his wife and "generate a negative and venomous response toward her from his Facebook friends." Annoying? Hell, if I could have a court punish everyone that said (or wrote) annoying or harassing things to me in a day, I wouldn't get anything done! Secondly, if I offended someone, oh well! If I meant what I said you most certainly will not get a written apology from me... send my ass to jail!

Divorce sucks and there are always two sides to every story, however, this was clearly a vindictive and manipulative move on her part. There may be good reason for the protection order, I have no idea, but this is ree-diculous and she is clearly milking it for all it's worth. Get over it sister! Move on with your life and stop yourself now before you completely turn into the manipulative bitch this case has made you out to be...

Putting a Face to a Name...

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 22:06:00 +0000

I know it's hard to trust the internet sometimes. There are so many scammers out there it makes it very difficult to know who is real and who isn't and who is trying to help you and not hurt you. Through the past year or so, I have been working very hard to establish a relationship with you all. In my efforts, I have helped some people and pissed a few off :) I like to believe I help more than I offend though...

You have seen my picture posted at Love Sources as well as here at my blog and I have shared many of my stories, all of which I hope have helped you in some way, shape or form. If they haven't helped, I at least hope you get a kick out of reading them! I get very personal at times and I consider all of you my friends. So, it's time for me to help you put a face (and a voice) to my name...

I hope you can join me this evening on Real Coaching Radio TV Network! Coach Steve Toth will be interviewing me and everything I do here at Love Sources. I will be on the show live at 9 p.m. Eastern time. I hope to let you all get to know me a little better. Even if you can't catch the live show, I am sure it will be available for later viewing. Hope you can make it!

You’re Woman Needs to Hear How Much She Means to You…

noreply@blogger.com (Eda M. Handly) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 21:01:00 +0000

If there’s one thing women and men have in common, it’s the want and need to hear how much we mean to each other. Women want to hear how beautiful they are, how much we are appreciated, and that our men feel lucky to have us. Men want to know that we feel protected and safe and that they are doing a good job of pleasing us and taking care of their families.

Women have a tendency to express these feelings better than our male counterparts. We have no qualms about expressing our feelings and making them known. Men, on the other hand, very rarely have the ability to show their weaknesses.

Take Corey for instance. He can be a very un-emotional person. He hates to show any weakness and he very rarely, if ever, can be gushy and romantic. He prefers humor over being the idealistic romanticizer who grabs his woman in a fit of passion and whispers in her ear everything she wants to hear while she melts in his seductive manliness. This is one of the things I love most about him being the avid comedic fan I am. However, I still need to hear, sincerely, that I am one of the most important things in his life…

Corey is not a drinker. I turned him onto wine a while back, but he doesn't indulge as I do. This morning I awoke to a very happy Corey who had downed nearly a whole bottle by himself (he works third shift mind you)! He’s quite a funny guy and an even more humorous drunk :)

But the alcohol helped him open up a bit more to me. For this I am thankful. He told me how beautiful I am. He told me what a lucky man he is. He told me things I had not heard in quite a while, not without him trying to crack a joke anyway. Thank you Gnarly Head Cabernet…

Seriously though, we all need to hear how much we are needed and we should tell each other how much we love each other often. While it shouldn’t require a few glasses of wine to do this, if it helps you to express those feelings you may otherwise keep bottled up, drink up my friends!

Tell your woman how you really feel once in a while (even if it takes a glass of wine or two). Trust me, you’re not going to turn into Fabio, but you will keep her happy and feeling loved, sometimes at the very time it is needed.