love, the mama

january in photos

2012-02-01T11:33:00.000-06:00

(Insert bad blogger apology and excuse here.)

For the month of January I used my iPod to take a picture every day, via this blog. Here's the list:

Here's the result:

There's a new list for February - I think I might do it again this month. It was fun!

(If you're confused about the 32 pictures, I took two for Day 3.)

waiting day

2012-01-20T19:53:00.001-06:00

Today I'm waiting around for Sam to get home. We dropped off my mom this morning and then had another hibernating day of playing at home. I may be a wuss, but I just don't like to go through all the work of bundling up for a walk when we'll both be frozen after a few minutes and come right back. But I think I am done hibernating now, so I'm glad it's supposed to be warmer tomorrow. Hopefully I can convince Sam to take his recovery nap while Lucy takes hers so I can go out for a bit.

Make music, Grandma!

Sam's flight is delayed until 11:30, and that's frustrating. My mom and I spent our evenings all week watching the BBC's adaptation of Bleak House, and we had to stay up till past 11 to finish it last night. After almost 9 hours, we couldn't just leave it! But thus I am tired and not excited to stay up past midnight. I'll go to bed with the phone, I suppose.

Have pockets, Grandma!

I probably should have left the house today, since we have a drop of milk, one egg, one banana, and a few apples in the fridge. That's possibly not the best welcome. Alas, it is too late now. But I might be able to scrounge up all the things to make this for breakfast, so perhaps I will be forgiven.

It's a tea party, Grandma!

It was fun to have my mom here this week. She was a Very Useful Engine and I have a vacuumed house and a SPARKLY kitchen. I also finished knitting Sam's toque and started on some legwarmers. We went to the conservatory and the quilt shop; she got her McNally Robinson fix while I was at my mom's group, and I got the chance to go to my midwife and chiropractor WITHOUT Lucy and sometimes that is just plain awesome. I'm really glad she came, otherwise this cold week would have been much longer. And Lucy (as you can see) had a great time with Grandma Plenert.

Learning free throws, Grandma!

So tonight I need to do something other than wallow in misery and eat chocolate chips. My pelvis/back/hips have been really REALLY bothering me still so I should try to loosen them up. I hate not being able to go for long walks. I should make popcorn so I don't remember that we buy chocolate chips in Costco bags and therefore have LOTS. I should probably watch a movie (maybe not a 9-hour one) and knit.

Have a nice weekend!

birthday scarf

2012-01-13T14:45:00.000-06:00

For Sam's birthday I made him a scarf. He wanted it to be super long, so I didn't get it finished until a week after his birthday.

Suspicious Sam is Suspicious.

And lo, it is super long.

He requested a toque for Christmas, but sadly it's still a work in progress. Hopefully I'll have it done when he gets home from Florida, to help ease the transition.

one of those posts with no point

2012-01-12T14:14:00.000-06:00

That weird looking thing is our brown sheepskin from Norway. It was put outside a week or so ago to air out and then neither of us brought it in. Now winter has arrived properly and it looks cold and frosty, sitting on our balcony covered in snow.

Last night Lucy was done sleeping at 5am so today is not full of lively boisterous fun. We went to our mom's group (first one of 2012, hooray!) and then to the chiropractor and then it was OVER. IT WAS OVER. Putting on her boots was wrong, putting on her coat was wrong, the sun was wrong, sunglasses were wrong, EVERYTHING WAS WRONG. She insisted on wearing pyjamas for naptime (do you really think I was going to argue with her at that point? Not so much) and we read a story and she got all tucked in with Maddy Bear, and not two minutes later the noise that erupted from her room was "NONONONONO MADDY BEAR NONONONONONO" so not even Maddy Bear was treating her properly. On the one hand, I know how she feels and I sympathize. On the other hand, oh my goodness child just get over it. On that third hand that I mysteriously grow in these circumstances, HAHAHA. Temper tantrums are hilarious. Really? You're mad because your hand is wet and slimy YET SIMULTANEOUSLY because I took your tomato away?

She's soundly sleeping now and hopefully it will be a nice long nap to make up for last night. I took a nap yesterday so I've probably used my quota for the month, but since yesterday I also cleaned out two closets and overexerted myself, I am not doing anything this naptime anyway. I will drink tea and read or knit or something.

Tomorrow my mom arrives for a week while Sam The Lucky Bum goes to Florida. To the Epcot Center. But it sounds way cooler than it is to those of us who don't work in his field because IN FACT he is going to Lotusphere and will be in sessions and things from 7:30am till 10pm with one night off to see Sea World. So, not like a vacation then. And he's really looking forward to learning all sorts of technology things that he will try to explain to me and I will try to understand.

Finally, it is grapefruit season and this pleases me immensely. Mmm grapefruit.

The Joy of Books

2012-01-10T20:22:00.000-06:00

A bunch of my friends shared this on Facebook, but I'm blogging it for all you guys that aren't on FB and will LOVE this (especially Mom and Meribeth!). It makes me all happy in my brain parts.

2012-01-07T21:44:00.001-06:00

The thing that sucks the most about depression/anxiety/mental illnesses of any kind is that they don't have an end date. It's worse than pregnancy, where the "due date" is such a laughable farce that groups of moms can go on about them for hours (for reals). Coming through a dark time is never quite as awesome as it could be, because even when you know all the coping mechanisms and you have all the strategies, you know that someday it will slip, you'll crack, life will change and throw you that one extra stupid little challenge that you weren't expecting and you'll be back sobbing on the bathroom floor with your personal poison swirling through your mind.

I read this today, from the Bloggess (she is kind of potty-mouthed and a bit crude in other posts, just so you're warned), and it really resonated with me. I'm not in the same place she is, I don't have the same issues, and I can promise you that self-harm is not on my radar at all. I don't consider my personal mental struggles to be that severe compared to a lot of people, but they're enough to make things pretty difficult some days. I've mentioned before that the post-Christmas season is always a struggle for me, whether I'm still a kid and the end of Present Season is just too hard to handle, or the lack of sunlight triggers Seasonal Affective Disorder. This year I'm finding it extra challenging because everything is exacerbated by these wretched pregnancy hormones, and I lost my groove and my giant list of coping mechanisms over the Christmas week. I'm so desperate to avoid a complete breakdown that I want to overhaul my eating AND my exercise AND my schedule AND my project list AND my house AND my social life all at once. Not helpful. But I've never been very good at putting one foot in front of the other; I sprint for a short spurt and then collapse in a heap of cramps.

But in the last few years, I've started to learn to take smaller steps. Running in a non-metaphorical sense helped a lot. I actually miss it right now and I'm looking forward to getting back into it once my body is ready postpartum (that gleeful whooping sound you hear is my dad). I know FOR A FACT that eating sugar, especially in candy and other high-processed forms, triggers anxiety for me, but that it's really difficult for me to cut back once I've been slacking. All my "challenges" (I'm running out of euphemisms here) have been around long enough that I can remind myself that the bad times pass and I can get out of bad habits. It's just that sometimes, like in January, the work involved seems too great and I feel trapped between misery and a mountain and I fall apart.

The deal with this stuff is that it's always in flux and always changing. I felt like the world was ending last night and this morning, but then the day was great. Then this evening I tried to do yoga but I'm pretty sure I have to give it up - it's just too painful this time around. I can't come up with a way to wrap this up nicely - I've been trying all afternoon and evening. I guess that's reflective of how it is. Depression never wraps up nicely with a "healed" label. It just hangs around, sometimes in the background, and sometimes it's the only thing in the picture. So there you are.

change

2012-01-05T08:40:00.000-06:00

Oh January. Why do we always end up like this? I get ready for you, always hoping that this year will be different, but a few days in I feel the same as ever. Overwhelmed, disappointed, and wishing you were over. I have a big list of things I want to get done while you're here but I'm just sabotaging myself with all the bad habits I reinstated over the festive season. You just let it happen. What's with that? What I need is for you to say "Stop that. You're being foolish. It's not like chocolate chips even taste that good outside of cookies. Close your laptop and play with Lucy. Go for a walk, drink some tea, and cut yourself some slack to read Hunger Games and play Zelda during naptime. And for pity's sake, go to bed at 10 and not 11. You're exhausted."

Oh, alright. I get it. You're just a month of the year. I'm blaming you for my own follies and that's not fair. I need to say all those things to myself and recognize that the benefits of staying healthy far outweigh the momentary satisfaction of being a slacker. I've kicked my own butt before and I can do it again. Okay butt. Let's do this. January doesn't have to suck this year.

it's 2012, you say

2012-01-02T15:37:00.000-06:00

The internet is full of recapping last year and looking ahead to next year and resolutions! and resolutions are stupid! and taking down Christmas trees and whatnot. Allow me to join the fray!

I actually didn't do that badly in 2011, even though the first half seemed rough. I started running and got in reasonable shape, did some fun travelling in the BC direction, gestated a second baby two-thirds of the way to birth, got a bit of a sewing/crafting habit back, and started my doula training. Plus, of course, continued to raise the best toddler in the history of toddlers.

That would be the pink one. Although the grey & orange one (Cousin Judah) is pretty awesome too.

I have lots of things that I hope will happen in 2012 - I hope I keep making stuff, because it makes me happy; I hope I continue to improve at eating healthfully, because I've made good progress there; I hope I get a good yoga practice going and start running again once I'm able to. But really, those can't count as resolutions because it would be unreasonable to have expectations beyond 2012: THE YEAR OF BABY2.

Check it out. There's a baby in there. Also, those are the jeans I SEWED while Lucy was away last week. They are my new favourite thing.

Today, right this very minute, I am super excited for Baby2 to be born, because heshe is plaguing me with the deadliest hip/back pain that not even my lovely chiropractor can fix. Oh boy am I not excited if this keeps up for the next three months. (FYI: since the third trimester tends to stop being "oh yay, pregnancy is fun and cute and happy" and is instead "this is really uncomfortable, awkward, and I feel like a whale" so expect more complaining, or just fewer posts.) Hence the hopes of getting on the yoga wagon, as mentioned above.

So those are my thoughts on the year end/beginning. To close, I'm going to post some pictures of Lucy and Judah's completely awesome game of crokinole. TECHNICALLY, it should be played by taking turns, gently flicking the pieces (always sticking with your colour) towards the middle, and possibly some adult displays of disappointment when your piece doesn't drop into the 20-point circle, or your awesome shot is squarely removed by the other player. What actually happened was wild arm flails with pieces of any colour, squeals of glee, and this:

Happy new year, friends.

as expected

2011-12-29T09:32:00.000-06:00

Technically Christmas lasts until Epiphany on January 8. From what I gather via Facebook, Twitter, and other areas of the internet, however, many people are using this week to dismantle the festive season, and it's true that after two months of DECK THE HALLS!!!! it feels like it might be time to move on. I'm not taking our tree down quite yet though - probably it will be a family affair on Monday. No matter what the liturgical year tells me, however, once the wrapping paper is in the trash and I've put all the toys in their new homes, it feels like Christmas is over.

I have a tempestuous relationship with the post-Christmas season. Last year my January funk lasted pretty much until the Summer of Awesome started in May, and that is completely not acceptable this year. I'd prefer not to go through a month of feeling blah, but if I have to, it had better be limited to a month. Of course, this ennui is now wrapped up in my third trimester, which started on Tuesday.

The dreaded third trimester. It has arrived precisely on schedule. Starting on Tuesday, baby2 has gone from gentle flutters a few times a day to regular thrashing, flailing, and dance-partying. In my favourite pregnancy calendar ever, the author refers to this as a mongoose in a sack. Yep. It's kind of distracting, even while it's cute and fun and a nice reminder. Until now it's actually been pretty easy to forget sometimes, when baby2 is sleeping and I've been doing yoga so my hips don't hurt and I'm distracted by Lucy and festive projects. But no longer! Also on Tuesday, the baby discovered that heshe can manipulate my sciatic nerves somehow, so occasionally I go to stand up and one or both legs don't work. That's really fun. And the scourge of pregnancy, worse than feeling nauseous, worse than shooting pain, worse than LABOUR (if you're me, a doula, who gets all fired up by birth and yes I know I'm really weird) is heartburn. HAAAAAAAAAATE. I am deeply saddened that it appears I'll have to deal with flaming chest of death for three whole months (or more!).

Luckily I have some distractions to help me deal with all this nonsense - Lucy, of course, is a great distraction (although not this week, as we left her at the farm between family festivities - the house is so quiet and empty without her!), all the projects that I put on hold to get my handmade Christmas done, the inevitable "nesting," and a couple of events. Sam is going back to his technology conference in Florida (IN JANUARY the lucky bum) and my mama is coming to stay with me again. That's only two weeks away! Then I have my second doula birth lined up for this winter as well. Then it's my birthday! Yay my birthday. Plus I can wash and sort and obsess over baby gear now that Christmas is over - I wouldn't let myself get started until now because the crazy, I has it. I think you know that by now.

This is already long and rambly and probably not very interesting, and I'm not even going to make it up to you with a bump picture. I know, there are NONE so far and I'm two-thirds through pregnancy. Maybe soonish? If I can get one I find acceptable? I wouldn't hold your breath though.

Since my blog posting record is so poor lately, I'll use this post to wish you a happy new year. Goodbye 2011, hello year of baby2!

our christmas in pictures

2011-12-26T12:01:00.000-06:00

Christmas playdough (it's sparkly like snow!)

Fresh baking

Lucy's Christmas dress and festive ponytail

Catnip that my mom grew for the cats - Stella was getting possessive

Presents under the tree

Opening stockings with Maddy Bear

The markers in her stocking were awesome enough to last her until after church

Christmas breakfast - cinnamon buns, tropical fruit salad, and fancy cheese

Opening daddy's presents

Opening Mama's presents

Opening Lucy's presents!

I didn't get a picture of our HUGE dinner other than the salad...

...and the pie. But it was amazing. Also: no dish was free from full-fat dairy overload. Mmm.

Obviously this is what stockings are for.

I hope your Christmas was lovely - ours was just right.

mmm dinner

2011-12-20T18:33:00.002-06:00

I think I'm allowed to be pretty proud of our dinner tonight. It's as from-scratch as I can do without my own garden or animals and such. It's chicken noodle soup, with leftover chicken bits from Saturday's roast chicken, and stock made from the bones. (I didn't make the noodles either - although I've made noodles before. I wonder if my mom's kitchen ever recovered?) I also made bread from scratch but that's "dessert" because no soup will be consumed by The Small One if there is bread around. Even if the soup has peas in it (which it does).

Toddler aside: Lucy just sang "doo dooo dooo! Don't worry, be happy now!" We are a fan of singing these days.

It seems to me that if I listened to everyone who told me what was poison I should be dead. Or dying. I believe that the following have been pointed out to me (indirectly, via the internets) as poisonous: fat, meat, animal products of all kinds, sugar, anything not organic, fruit, milk, salt, bread, beans, quinoa, carbs of all kinds, and "anything with a label." So... I can eat lettuce? And maybe water? It's disconcerting, because one day milk is horrible because it's mostly sugars, the next day it's horrible because mammals aren't supposed to drink milk over the age of weaning due to loss of enzymes, and the next day full-fat dairy is supposed to be a staple. I really do not wish to become stressed out about these things, but it does make me wonder where the truth lies. Advertising is obviously biased, and most scientists and their studies are sponsored by giant farming corporations or others heavily invested in one food group or another. It makes me think that any sort of diet, lifestyle, plan, or idea to make people healthier or skinnier or more ethical or return their youth is mostly driven by money. So essentially, whose money am I eating when I buy into one of these ideas? Even fasting isn't immune to marketing - it appears as though cleanses are able to make a mint by telling people not to eat anything for several days.

I hope that my lovely readers recognize that I'm not passing judgment on anybody's food choices. I'm just pondering one of the many facets where consumerism and marketing have done so much damage that I can hear five different versions of the truth backed up with studies and facts and not see any means of determining between them, other than personal preference. I personally drink milk and eat cheese and yogurt like it's going out of style with no ill effects. I feel like crap if I eat more than a wee bit of sugar and a few servings of gluten-based carbs. I love meat and eggs, and I can't afford to "buy organic." So those factors are the ones that inform my choices, and I feel like I can be proud of roasting a chicken, using the leftovers, and enjoying my dinner.

It was really tasty. Feel free to invite yourself over sometime.

oh christmas

2011-12-16T21:14:00.001-06:00

The plan was that tonight tonight was going to be a Star Trek marathon, because our double date fell through. (I'm secretly glad - I couldn't get a babysitter and I really didn't want to bring Lucy. It seems like every youth group with whom our babysitters are affiliated had something on tonight.) We had Chinese food for supper and everything - it felt like a proper nerdfest. Well, now it's 9pm and Lucy has juuuuust stopped singing in her bed. Sam's doing something computery, either catching up on work emails or flying virtual airplanes through virtual horrific snowstorms. I'm doing actual work for my actual business - writing up doula contracts and chatting about birth on Twitter. I'm also planning out Christmas. It's weird to be the one "in charge" of Christmas this year since it's just the three of us for the 25th. I'm kind of sad to not be in Dawson (like every year I'm not there), but I'm also glad we're not traveling, and it will definitely be easier on Lucy. Considering that she loses her cool over every single Christmas tree we see, I don't think she needs the extra awesomeness to make Christmas "special" just yet. A quiet day with a few presents, maybe even spaced out through the day, will be really nice. But of course I've got a massive list of things to do this week - grocery shopping (YIKES), Dollar Store-ing, baking, finishing my last two Christmas presents, social plans, appointments... eek! I'm writing it all down and making a priority list so I don't get all crazy and exhausted.

I suppose this is kind of a lame blog post after being silent for so long. I'll add a picture of the cats' new favourite nap spot - hopefully that placates you.

So cozy.

joy

2011-12-04T19:27:00.001-06:00

From what I have seen on the mighty internets, the mamas with small people are doing the same daily advent activity idea that we are. Whatevs! It is so much fun to start proper Christmas traditions with Lucy. I have an advent calendar from Starbucks that is a bunch of little drawers in the shape of a tree. You flip the drawers around and it makes a festive picture, yahoo. It came with chocolate in but now it has little slippies of paper with an activity on for each day. Lucy is all over pulling out the drawers and putting them back, and so far we have done all of our things! Today's thing was decorating the tree. We put it up on Friday night so we could get her reaction in the morning. She spent half of Friday night throwing up (YAY) but Saturday morning was still cute and happy. I got a video that hopefully I'll post soon.

So! Decorating! Sam explained the technique to her and she was all over it. Total pro. Rather than theming it up this year, we put on all my childhood ornaments in the usual green-and-red-and-white haphazard assortment, because they're more fun that plain old silver, the other option. From these pictures, you can see how seriously Lucy took her task.

Of course we have Starbucks ornaments to go with our Starbucks advent calendar. (Yikes.)

Critiquing her work, seriously.

Christmas with Lucy is turning out to be my favourite thing. She is so joyful about everything - every evergreen is a Christmas tree and worth exclaiming over. She sings along to our mealtime carol (last week was Angels We Have Heard On High; this week is Joy To The World). As we do more festive things, it will get more and more fun. I had no idea how much joy I would get from seeing things from her perspective. My little stinker baloo is just the best.

Here is our lovely glowing tree. Lucy decorated the bottom right. Can you tell?

12 christmas days

2011-11-27T20:05:00.001-06:00

Advent is here! Saturday night was the CMU Christmas concert and Sam arranged one of the pieces sung by the CMU Singers. Tragically, he was horribly sick and couldn't go hear it, but I took my trusty iPod with me and recorded it for him.

Here's the original inspiration.

wordless wednesday, graphic novel style

2011-11-23T12:09:00.001-06:00

(click to enlarge.)

duet time

2011-11-15T09:53:00.001-06:00

I kind of can't believe I'm putting up a video of myself from first thing in the morning, with singing in it no less, but the joy of Lucy singing Baby Beluga is just too great. I hope you enjoy it!

new pictures!

2011-11-14T21:31:00.001-06:00

We had Andrea take some pictures for us for our Christmas cards. They turned out really well. See?

None of these are the card picture though. If you want one, let me know! (Parents and siblings need not apply.)

i need a photographer

2011-11-06T19:27:00.001-06:00

So at the start of September, I posted about my plans for fall. Technically it is still fall until mid-December, but the official seasons don't quite work out properly when winter is SUCH a selfish jerkface and takes up more than its fair share of the year. It's supposed to snow tonight (yay first snow! so pretty!) and therefore I announce That Weird In-Between Fall and Winter Bit of Grey Time. So my goals:

1. Yoga. I didn't do super well on this goal. I tried, but it sure was not 4-5 times a week. It might help if I had a prenatal class to go to, but my favourite yoga instructor is on maternity leave. (I'd really like a class because I keep overstretching. Ow.) Hopefully she'll start her class after Christmas, or I guess I'll have to find someone else. Does anyone have any recommendations for prenatal yoga?

2. Sewing. Not too bad! This is where I need a photographer. You saw Lucy's superfab Totoro costume, but I have also sewn maternity jeans, and just this morning I finished my maxi skirt that is designed to fit post-baby as well. Hooray for getting things done! I still have some fabric to make dresses, but I think first I need to get myself another pair of pants. One is definitely not enough. Of course now I have Christmas crafts to start, but they are not going to be as labour-intensive as last year (I hope). I'm going to make Lucy a quiet book because she would be all over that.

3. Outside/social time. Started well, ended poorly. Getting outside every day is still something I want to do, but it's more like a few times a week. I've also completely lost track of playdates - it's just the recreational hazard of only having one vehicle. I just need to put in a bit more effort in this category, but not go crazy, since the colder weather just isn't as much fun. Feel free to call me for a playdate if you're near at hand!

Okay. So these goals are kind of ongoing, especially with winter/festive time coming on, so I'm not adding anything else. Except for the Christmas party, because that's just for fun. And I'll try to get Sam to take some pictures of my new maternity clothes in which I don't look ridiculous.

if you ask me how i'm doing, this is what i'd like to say

2011-11-05T15:56:00.000-05:00

I'm 20 weeks through this pregnancy (well, 18 weeks + 2 fake weeks - the stupid way pregnancies are counted is bugging me this time). So technically almost halfway, although I say it's not halfway until at least 22 weeks, what with 2 fake weeks at the start and the 2 overdue weeks I am expecting. (I go about pregnancy with extreme pessimism, because it tends to be justified.) I am working as hard as I can to be healthy, and let me tell you, it is more than eating a freaking apple every day. I'm doing all this work to try and get to a place where I feel okay instead of terrible, but so far I haven't had great results.

This time around my prenatal depression and anxiety are barely staying under control. I can usually make it until lunchtime before I start falling apart, but then the rest of the day is a write-off. I'm working on setting a schedule so that I have a structure to follow; it's just getting into the habit that's so difficult. I'm also working around a truly ridiculous number of appointments - midwife, counsellor, chiropractor, massage therapist, dentist, plus mom's group and library time every week. I'm a ball of stress and anxiety when the apartment is messy, and the depression takes over if I don't get good social time in every week. I feel more like I'm in a hamster wheel than I ever did while I was working (fully recognizing that I wasn't working plus parenting, which is a whole different level of crazy). I need to be doing all sorts of things for myself, like yoga and eating whole foods, going to church and getting outside, and then I also need to be doing things for Lucy, like, you know, spending time with her. If I don't go to bed at 10pm, I'm exhausted and everything is worse. I'm just trying to be a good parent, a good wife, and a good person but it seems like an insurmountable job these days. Things like "make time for what's important" or "prioritize your activities" isn't really helpful - I am in pain all the time, so I need the appointments; I am not a very good mom if I feel depressed and anxious; neither am I a good mom if Lucy is getting ignored.

I've got no answers and I'm sick to death of thinking about it all. Part of coping is not needing everything to be perfect, so I'm working on that too. It just feels like evening went spiralling out of control at once, so I'm sad and anxious and hurting and it's getting cold and dark, and I still have all my own neuroses, plus the general physical and hormonal effects of pregnancy, and I have a toddler to care for too. I'm not letting myself freak out (much) about having TWO babies, because I know that a lot of things will be better when I can take an Advil, have a glass of wine, and get these hormones out of my system. Last pregnancy it was scary to feel all these things and not know if it would go away, but even sleep is easier after giving birth - then I'll only be tired from being woken up in the night, not fatigued and hurting no matter how much sleep I get. Plus, my pessimism totally paid off, because my crazypants labour is something I'm not afraid of repeating (seriously!), and Lucy couldn't be anything but awesome because I was expecting the worst. I know I can be a good mom; it's just taking an awful lot of work right now.

hallowe'en

2011-11-01T15:43:00.000-05:00

For reference:

Totoro is Lucy's favourite movie. It's Japanese anime and (honestly) a bit boring, but we both love it. Totoro is a giant forest spirit. I was going to make Lucy a kitty costume, cause that would have been cool, but then I decided that common knowledge be darned! Being Totoro would knock her socks off!

It totally did.

Extra special bonus content:

Cutest. Muffin. Ever.

so how was the second annual minibreak?

2011-10-30T18:40:00.000-05:00

Pretty good.

I stared at the water.

Did some walking.

More staring.

It was nice and quiet.

I'm already looking forward to next year.

monday

2011-10-24T07:46:00.001-05:00

It's another Monday! I woke up on time for the first time in AGES, feeling mostly human. Bonus! (Sleep has been frustrating again lately.) Lucy slept all night long in spite of her newly-minted cold and was all ready for morning snuggles. Instead of driving to work, Sam was picked up, so he joined us for the snuggles. That is a great way to start a Monday, you know.

This week is looking like a winner, if I can keep it together. Tomorrow Lucy departs with her Grandparents Sawatzky for a few days of solo time while we head out for our Second Annual Falcon Lake Mini-Break. We're staying here again:

I'm pretty excited. But first, I have a massive to-do list. Lots of regular cleaning stuff, some errands, a ton of cooking and baking, and some very important costume sewing. In some ways, a sick Lucy is an easy Lucy to work around because we are both much happier if she gets plenty of time with Shaun the Sheep - sickness makes her crazy and uncoordinated and she runs around like a nutcase until she gets hurt or frustrated and melts down all over the place. So! Hooray for Shaun the Sheep. I just need to make sure that I stay within my pregnancy-imposed limits. I keep forgetting about them and then it takes me three days to recover from one day of stellar accomplishments and overused muscles.

Okay. Let's get this party started.

the one with glasses

2011-10-21T09:04:00.000-05:00

Lucy's had her glasses for six months now. When she first got them, I had to fight the feeling of sadness that my perfect little girl wasn't actually perfect anymore. I was sad for her that she'll always have to worry about an external piece of equipment in order to properly interact with the world. I was sad that I'd have to do a lot of that worrying for her, because an 18-month-old is not a paragon of responsibility. I visualized the trail of broken glasses, the potential teasing when she's the only one in preschool/kindergarten/grade one with glasses. She's already destined to be one of the tallest in her class, and now she's also The One With Glasses. Really thick glasses.

Of course we've adjusted now. It's a bit of a wrench to spend almost $400 on baby glasses in six months (gulp), but the pink ones are working out fabulously. She wears them with almost no problems and it's actually quite convenient that other people find her so memorable. Lucy is The One With Glasses, so people usually remember her name. The other day we shared the elevator with a few other people, and they smiled at her (as people always do - she's a cutie!) but didn't say anything. When we got off, Lucy whispered "nice glasses," because people are always saying it to her.

I think I'd actually go so far as to say that I love her glasses. They suit her personality; she is totally a nerd like her parents. She loves books and drawing and watching shows and doing puzzles - shouldn't a kid like that have glasses on principle? (I always wanted them.) She loves running around and playing outside too, of course, and she's much more adventurous now that she has depth perception, but (ssh) she's a bit of a klutz sometimes still. It's a tall-person fast-growing thing.

When I think about her social future, I don't mind the glasses either. I don't want her to breeze through everything, because the awkward and challenging and heart-wrenching parts of growing up were the parts that made me a better, stronger, more compassionate person. As much as I don't want her to ever go through the crappy stuff, I can't do anything to prevent it, and maybe if she starts off as The One With Glasses, she'll learn her coping mechanisms early.

No matter how I feel about them, she has them and they're sticking around. Lucy's already been influenced by her little pink glasses, but as much as they are defining her, she is building her own personality in spite of them, and it's my favourite part of parenting to watch it.

(In case you thought I was joking about the little nerd: she is sitting next to me playing Angry Birds on my iPod. And winning.)

this is more than a little bit late

2011-10-14T15:26:00.000-05:00

So... remember that time Lucy turned two? Two and a half months ago? Yeah. Her birthday was kind of left in the dust by all the other stuff going on at the time, and I didn't get around to throwing her a party, either in real life or on my blog. Today I was feeling crummy and didn't want to work on anything, so I ~~wasted~~ used a precious and rapidly-disappearing naptime (SOB!) to make a birthday slideshow.

Happy very belated birthday, my little two-year-old!

wordless wednesday

2011-10-12T16:07:00.000-05:00