The following post was produced long ago, but it is brought from our archives for those who are newly following the Blog.

The Children’s Bread

When more and more people started following LOVE UP, (www.perfectinglovenow.com), they were so excited, then pointedly asked me why I specifically wrote for those who know and claim CHRIST JESUS, first.

I then explained that while LOVE UP was written to bless all marriages, I had written on this extremely important subject for ‘Christians,’ first and foremost, for these reasons:

1. Christians subscribe to, or at least try to practice and honor certain unique and vital values and principles, without much argument, these being the importance of:

• Praising & Worshipping GOD:

I will bless the LORD at all times,

His Praise shall continually be in my mouth. [Psalm 34]

Apart from being necessary sacrifices to Father GOD, Praise and Worship are understood to be vitally strategic weapons of spiritual warfare in life, and in marriage, in particular.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal,

but mighty to the pulling down of strongholds. [2 Corinthians 10:4].

• Faithfulness & Fidelity:

Like FATHERGOD, LORD JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT, we believe that husband and wife must be dedicated and faithful to each other, therefore, we also hate, resist, and decry as wrong, sex outside marriage (that is, adultery and fornication). Being faithful to one’s wife or husband is not based on mood or feeling. It is an unswerving covenant commitment. It is a matter of obedience to FatherGOD.

• Unspeakable Joy:

Beyond happiness (momentary gladness), joy is a deep and abiding rest of mind and sweetness which persist even in times, moments, and periods of great temptations, trials and tribulations. The extraordinary gift of joy unspeakable comes from knowing and trusting GOD, implicitly and explicitly, even and especially, in what appear to be life’s darkest moments.

• Submission & Respect:

Whether we fully practice it or not, Christian women know that we are required to be wisely submissive to our husbands, while Christian men are required to nourish and cherish their wives. And the main way that men submit to their wives is by bringing their bodies into subjection to the LORDGOD, that is, by being faithful to their wives, sexually and emotionally (since men somehow seem to be able to separate these far more than women). LOL!!!

• Unwavering, Mountain – Moving Faith:

Faith has been defined as

‘The substance of things hoped for,

the evidence of things unseen [Hebrew 11:1]

Sometimes like walking on water, growing a beautiful, joyful and lasting marriage requires that ‘we walk by faith and not by sight’ [2 Corinthians 5:7], believing GOD for everything good and right in our marriage, and having the courage and obedience to do what is good and right in GOD’s sight.

Christian marriages are experiencing more divorce than non-Christian marriages, from the United States of America (where statistics are more readily available), to Nigeria, and elsewhere, organized Church communities have decried the alarming incidence of divorce, and particularly, the greater incidence of divorce among Christians than among non-Christians.

Marriage in CHRIST is under attack because the devil knows that a good and Godly marriage is the bedrock foundation of both good and Godly family, and good and Godly community. It seems that many Christians have very wrong notions about GOD’s Will for their married love life.

GOD created romance (that is, deep affection, sensuality, sexual tenderness and passion) uniquely for the bonding of marriage and the nurturing of marital bliss.

Because too many of us grew up imbibing wrong ideas and witnessing wrong practices in marriage, so many have internalized the hideous notions that sex is bad, that sex is only for making babies (reproduction), or that sexual passion is really meant for sex outside marriage. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.

You might laugh in disbelief as you read this, yet think about it well: how many married couples (Christians or otherwise) did you observe, while growing up, who openly expressed their affection to each other, touched or embraced each other, demonstrated their physical attraction to each other, and laughed and played with each other, in your presence?

Did your own parents easily do these things in front of you?

Conclusion

“Making Love not Lust”

Making love was divinely ordained for husband and wife only.

It is divinely separated from making lust, which is sex between all others.

Readjust your understanding of, and attitude towards making love.

Making love between husband and wife is an awesomely creative gift from GOD for bonding and marital bliss, as well as for the reproduction of children, and the continuity of the human race.

In it and through it–exclusive of selfishness and every other wrong attitude–we glorify GOD.

May your marital bed be blessed always–holy, undefiled, and full of tenderness, passion, mutual respect and sensitivity, and rollicking good fun!

You’ve heard it before: When things get tough, the tough get going! CHRISTians are warriors in the Spirit realm.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through GOD,

to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down every imagination that exalts

itself against the will of GOD……                                                              [II Cor.10:4]

Weapons of Spiritual Warfare

So, what are these “weapons, mighty through GOD?”

Two of the very mightiest weapons are praise and worship, while another is expressing thanks, gratitude, appreciation to FatherGOD, LORDJESUS, HOLYSPIRIT, remembering the importance of the question “How can we be thankful to GOD Whom we cannot see, when we can’t thank man and woman whom we can see?”

Father GOD inhabits the praises of HIS people.

[Psalm 22:3]

And where HIS presence is, there is peace, there is healing, there is victory, there is power, there is order, there is understanding, there is reconciliation, there is joy, and there is LOVE.

But first, let’s look at the Power and the victory:

So the people shouted when the priests blew with the trumpets: and

It came to pass, when the people heard the sound of the trumpet, and

the people shouted with a great shout, that the wall fell down flat….

[Joshua 6:20]

Awesome, indeed!

The old African-American spiritual, “Joshua Fit De Battle of Jericho,” aptly describes this great Biblical scenario as a battle, in which “the walls came a-tumblin’ down!”

The WORD goes even deeper.

By faith, the walls of Jericho fell down. [Hebrews 11:30]

….and deeper still:

And at midnight, Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto GOD;

and the prisoners heard them.

And suddenly there was a great earth quake, so that the foundations

of the prison were shaken, and immediately all the doors were opened,

and everyone’s bands were loosed.                                  [Acts 16:25-26]

And when it was day, the Magistrates sent the sergeants, saying, Let those men go.

[Acts 16:35]

Faith Activates Power

Here are two of the most dramatic examples, from the Old Testament, of praise “opening doors” and “loosing bonds”. Fighting in this most powerful way, as noted in Hebrews, takes great faith, and it’s in this, that we exercise great exploits.

Faith is the living currency of the Kingdom of GOD that activates the ‘dunamis’ (the power) inherent in praise and worship.

Thus, the active, consistent praise of covenant couples, in particular, wields the power of The HOLY SPIRIT, breaking yokes of bondage, opening “great and effectual doors”[1 Cor 16:9] that were once shut to us, and making HIS Kingdom come, HIS WILL be done.

Fight Real Enemies

Spiritual warfare not only pulls down strongholds (mindsets, in particular), but it properly and effectively sets our sights, first of all; and then, fixes our targets away from each other (flesh and blood), towards the real enemies of our souls.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities,

against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against

spiritual wickedness in high places.                                       [Ephesians 6:12]

Let none of us wrongly suppose that we, as well as our marriages, have no enemies targeting us.

Oh, but we do!

And that’s one of the most poignant reasons that we must vigorously resist the temptation to fight each other, quarrel with each other, hurt, abuse, and put each other down.

We are not each other’s enemies–as husband and wife, as lovers, as best friends–even when some of our actions may mistakenly give that impression.

As Children of GOD, and covenant couples, we must resist the petty, ugly and infantile behaviors that constitute the “little foxes that spoil the vine.”

[Song of Solomon 2:15]

And that brings us forward again, to one of the mightiest spiritual weapons of all: LOVE, for only love (and good) overcome evil.

So, let us return to Whitney and that perilous sojourn that led to her death, as we know it, a death in which I still pray–in her dying moments–Grace ultimately reconciled her to eternal life.

For who can say?

Still Grieving After All These Days

Dearly Beloved, if I told you that Whitney’s untimely passing has stopped paining me, I would be lying, and I won’t contaminate this blessed website with such, nor dishonor my FatherGOD Who has given me anointing and utterance.

Apropós nothing, out of the blue, I will just remember Whitney and start crying, as I am right now, upset that she has irretrievably left our midst, without the chance for us to thank and honor her for the joy and wonder she so amazingly unlocked in us through her spectacular singing, her very present, very cogent drama, the hope of both her growing talent, and of her being won back fully to CHRIST, to an open declaration of Salvation!

She gave such joy through her entertainment.

Just close your eyes and imagine with me, a young beautiful warrior, blinded in a season of confusion that was meant to be stopped…. by the loving intervention of her husband?

(Well, he’s really not so fully our business!) But, by the loving, thoughtful, compassionate intercession of ….. ourselves.

Our Love Should Have Interceded for Whitney

Yes, it is we who enjoyed Whitney’s music, Whitney‘s acting, Whitney’s gist, and Whitney’s news; we who were blessed by her performances and rocked by her songs, who — instead of opening our mouths, gaping in bewilderment and astonishment at the ongoing bad news of her marriage to Bobby Brown, and at her seemingly unimpeded descent into drug abuse — should have opened our hearts and our mouths to lift Whitney up in prayer, to praise GOD for her life, and to thankfully remind FatherGOD of what a wonderful gift Whitney’s witness for CHRIST would be for the generations who follow and buy her music.

Where did we go wrong? Why didn’t we pursue the ‘prodigal’ named Whitney to her restitution and renewal?

The time has come for our generations — who love music and so constantly live with it, through i pods, stereos, radios, live concerts, and comcasts — to put our prayers and praise where our singing mouths are!

How many more living wonders like Michael Jackson and Selena may go straight to hell, having made satanic covenants, having sung unGodly lyrics, having lived unseemly lifestyles, having danced and gesticulated with vulgar and offensive manners?

So many artistes and singers have strayed from GOD, while many more have never known HIM, but if we like them or love them–and even if we don’t–let us love them through intercession, lifting them up in prayer and praise, both for their own personal salvation, and for the salvation of millions of souls ignorantly following them into perdition.

It’s Not About Bobby Brown

Speculating about Bobby Brown’s role in Whitney’s painful, shameful descent and death is counterproductive.

Pondering their marriage at all, is only as useful as it compels us to look at our own covenant relationships, and vow afresh, separately — and together, and in the presence of The Father, The Son and Holy Spirit — that our own marriages will be made and sustained as worthy of that “high calling” which is in CHRIST JESUS. As it is in Heaven, so too in our marriage, our love, our family, our VISION, our businesses, our life goals, and so on.

Whitney’s voluminous lyrics spoke of love, but Love never fails. Many singers and artistes sing of love, but more really mean sex.

Her prodigious talent — as many other artistes’–as Nigerians would say — “missed road” (lost its way).

So let us turn inward, and re-commit our wondrous marriages to being worthy of the present continuous word, LOVING, and that awesome word/process called LOVE.

LOVE suffers long, and is kind; love does not envy; love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up.

Does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth.

Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. LOVE never fails……                                                                               [I Cor. 13:4-8]

The love that Father GOD LORD JESUS Holy Spirit calls us to live must most meticulously work itself out in our bonding, our growing, our sharing, our loving with our closest neighbor – our wives, our husbands.

There are lessons to be learned from the dangerous journey that described too much and too long of Whitney Houston Brown’s life:

• Stay in CHRIST;
• Grow in CHRIST;
• Love The LORD Our GOD with all your heart, soul, strength and might;
• Love your husband/your wife first, as yourself, and cherish, nourish and submit to one another in Divinely obedient love;
• Pray and praise with your husband/your wife: it is your most intimate act together;
• Know one another well, and help each other assiduously and tenderly in your areas of weakness, and help each other build each other’s strengths;
• Don’t hide your weaknesses and infirmities from each other;
• Don’t ignore each other’s hurts or pains, or needs, no matter how small they may seem;
• Lift each other up continuously;
• Don’t put each other down or belittle each other;
• Celebrate your love as if there’s no tomorrow;
• Don’t go to bed angry with each other–reconcile, even in disagreement;
• Touch each other often, and lovingly, too;
• Always kiss each other goodbye, and greet warmly (don’t just grunt in the morning);
• Smile and laugh together with joy, as if there’s no tomorrow;
• Dream dreams and visions together, and make them happen;
• Make love like you mean it, not half-heartedly, not selfishly, giving your all, (and wash up very well, and smell nice, most times, beforehand);
• Be  fiercely and unequivocably loyal to, and affirming of each other;
• Help each other dress and makeup for work, for play, for worship, for occasions;
• Tell each other “I love you” a thousand times, in a thousand ways, everyday.

Beloved Husband and Wife:

You both will be blessed, as you do these things faithfully, in JESUS’ Mighty, Precious, Glorious and Victorious Name!!! Amen. Hallelujah!!!!!!

 

JEHOVAH SEBOAH [The GOD of WAR]

Many Christians look squeamish when talk of war commences, as if they do not know that our Father GOD, The I AM THAT I AM, JEHOVAH SHALOM [GOD of Peace] is also, and forever JEHOVAH SEBOAH [GOD of War]!

And as long as the enemies of our souls: satan, his demons, and his agents among humankind are holding sway, attacking good and Godly destinies — the innocent, the righteous, the saved, and sinners who will be saved — there will always be fierce warfare in the spiritual realm, and on earth.

We must not only be Holy, and stay vigilant, as Children of GOD — making constant confessions of victory (the Scriptural promises of GOD), for our lives, destinies, marriages, families, etc. –

We must wage spiritual welfare.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through GOD,

to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down every imagination that exalts

itself against the will of GOD……                                                              [1 Cor.10:4]

It’s easy to speak in hindsight, but I think it’s safe to say, that if Whitney’s husband had been doggedly waging spiritual warfare, and if we — her appreciative and loving fans — had as well waged warfare in her behalf, Whitney would not have left earth, her family, and all of us, when she did, and the way she did.

PART 1

(To be continued)

CULLED FROM THE WONDERFUL LIVING ARCHIVES OF THE SAINTS OF THE LIVING LORD.

May the eyes of your understanding indeed, be enlightened!!!                    (Eph. 1:18)

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For
many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s
showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told
him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited
signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the
morning of his graduation his father called him into his private
study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine
son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son
a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man
opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily,
he raised his voice at his father and said, “With all your money you
give me a Bible?” and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in
business.
He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his
father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He
had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make
arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had
passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He
needed to come home immediately and take care things.
When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and
regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father’s important papers and
saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With
tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he
read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope
taped behind the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the
sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation,
and the words…PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God’s blessings because they are not
packaged as we expected?

What Love means to a 4-8 year old…

Touching words from the mouth of babes..

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds ,

‘What does love mean?’

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined

See what you think:

‘When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time , even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’

Rebecca- age 8

‘When someone loves you , the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’

Billy – age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

Karl – age 5

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

Chrissy – age 6

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’

Terri – age 4

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.’

Danny – age 7

‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing , you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss’

Emily – age 8

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents
And listen.’

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

‘If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate , ‘

Nikka – age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt , then he wears it everyday..’

Noelle – age 7

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’

Tommy – age 6

‘During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’

Cindy – age 8

‘My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’

Clare – age 6

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’

Elaine-age 5

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford .’

Chris – age 7

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’

Mary Ann – age 4

‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’

Lauren – age 4

‘When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ (what an image)

Karen – age 7

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross..’

Mark – age 6

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it , you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica – age 8
And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry , the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard , climbed onto his lap , and just sat there..

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor , the little boy said ,

‘Nothing , I just helped him cry’

When there is nothing left but God , that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

Heavenly Father , please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of Your peace , prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen .

Then send it on to five other people , Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life.

P. S. Five is good , but more is better..
God Bless You!

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.

[Proverb 8:22]

Almost every Christian man who knows the importance of the WORD of GOD, is familiar with the above mentioned scripture, even if he had only heard it for the first time, on his wedding day!

Most of us enter our marriages with a sense that our wife, our husband–our Beloved–is a precious gift from GOD, that we are committed to care for, with tender love.

Husbands, in particular, are taught (at what point in their lives, however?) to

“Dwell with them (their wives) according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife,

as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that

your prayers be not hindered. (Emphases are mine.) [1 Peter 3:7]

We shall return to this Scripture.

An active listener and an active discussant all my life, who has witnessed and heard an amazing variety of “shockers”, I am nonetheless still struck “dumb” –literally speechless in open-mouthed wonder–by eyewitness and victim accounts of beatings, including kicking and inflicting of wounds with handheld objects, by formerly loving, “apparently” kind husbands.

Then, what is it in the man, that would make that man take his precious gift from GOD and turn her into a punching bag, a shattered vessel, “deserted and distressed in Spirit?”

[Isaiah 54:6]

With each passing day, despite increasing levels of education, and decades of public sensitization, and consciousness-raising on the dangers and evils of wife abuse and domestic violence, there is no reliable evidence that the incidence of wife beating, in particular, has decreased significantly in most countries of the world.

In the United States alone, there is a style of male undershirt popularly called ‘wife beater’ by presumably intelligent and sometimes educated younger women, as well as men!

Indeed, what is particularly disturbing is the fact that–quiet as it is still kept–horrendous cases of wife abuse and domestic violence, sometimes leading to murder, have been identified among so-called Christians.

Such was the case recently in one of the world’s fastest growing churches, with branches in Nigeria, the United Kingdom and the United States.

A young man who had actually been considered for a leadership position in the church, recently was discovered to have murdered his young wife, after repeatedly having beaten and tortured her in different incidents since their marriage began.

She had left him a few times, returning to her parents, but would always leave them to return to the life-threatening behavior of her husband because, as she reportedly confessed to close friends and family, she did not want her newborn baby to grow up without her father.

Today, barely two months since her mother was finally beaten to death, that same baby will grow up without her mother and her father–first, because of the viciousness and duplicity of the father/husband, and secondly, because of the reckless dependence and poor judgment of the mother, and all those who knew her predicament, yet failed to rescue her from predictable destruction.

HARDNESS OF THE HEART

Let us reason together, my brothers.

Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away

your wives; but from the beginning it was not so.                     [ Matt 19:8]

It is only hardness of the heart that would prompt a husband to beat or manhandle his wife, for even the provocation of that “unruly member”-the sharp tongue of one’s wife-can never justify the husband seeking recourse in physical violence, which has been appropriately called the language of the incompetent.

Verbal abuse is bad enough and very harmful, too.

But hardness of the heart, as Apostle NikeWilheims, once powerfully asserted, is a demon.

No red blooded child of GOD can point to a single line, ‘‘jot’’, or ‘’tittle’’, where Scripture either prescribes or rationalizes the violence of a stronger vessel, against “the weaker vessel”, the wife.

Whereas The WORD of GOD expressly cautions parents against spoiling the child by ‘sparing’, or failing to use the rod, that is, spanking or physically disciplining one’s child—(with exceeding abundant wisdom, we must add)–there is no Biblical reference that in any way condones physically disciplining one’s wife–or husband, for that matter.

POOR ROLE MODEL, WEAK FOUNDATION

In the beginning of this Post, we asked the question ‘what in the man would provoke him?’

Whereas many men might proffer answers which sound rational, even to a wife who has been subject to the same upbringing, or exposure, statistically, it has been established that nine out of ten men who strike, beat, or otherwise abuse their wives grew up with fathers, or male authority figures, who also beat their own wives, who were most often the mothers of these same wife-abusing husbands in the present generation.

What are we saying?

Young boys and youths who have experienced abusive husband role models, even though they hated the violent behavior of their fathers, often grow up to repeat these same abusive patterns of relationship in their adulthood, when they become husbands, and also parents.

If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?

[Psalms 11:3]

Many of us come from generations of wife-abusing and also child-abusing fathers–a weak foundation indeed. Yet, we are called ‘righteous’ because, having given our lives to CHRIST, we are made to be in right standing before GOD.

REPROVE SHAMEFUL SECRETS

But this level of being ‘justified’ in CHRIST does not permit or rationalize or ‘justify’ the sinful nature–or the criminal act–to have dominion in your life, or in your marriage.

For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the LORD;

Walk as Children of Light; (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and

righteousness and truth)  providing what is acceptable unto The LORD

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but

rather  reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things

are done of them  in  secret. (Emphasis mine) [Ephesians 5: 8-12]

You men, who have friends who you know beat their wives, do you ever remember any of them standing in a group of your Christian friends and confidently talking about how he beat his wife?

How many husbands who are Christian, comfortably share the fact that they are adulterers—having, or “going out with” a woman, mistress, girlfriend or concubine?

Very few, if any.

And you do know that if you are aware of such behavior, either as a friend, or as a fellow Christian, it is your responsibility to take him aside, admonish (warn) him, and exhort (encourage and even plead with) him to cease and desist from such shameful and destructive behavior.

What if, indeed, it is you, yourself, who is doing such to your Beloved?

GO BEFORE GOD/SEEK COUNSEL

Whatever has drawn you into a pattern or lifestyle of sin, whether it is a foundation ‘destroyed’ or polluted by generational sins of wife-abuse (and/or child abuse), or whether you have started beating your wife without such antecedents, go before GOD today-NOW-and ask HIM to dry up forever, that wellspring of bitterness and death within yourself, before it is too late– for you, for your wife, for your marriage, for your children, and for your generations yet to come.

Upon all you have done to know GOD, to serve GOD, to model The LORD JESUS, would you want to lose your salvation, your right standing before GOD, and your place in The Lamb’s Book of Life, because of beating the wife GOD gave to you to cherish and to nourish and to protect?

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife,

loves himself, For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and

cherishes it, even as The LORD the church.                   [Ephesians 5:28-29]

And what of you who are yourselves ministration leaders, pastors, priests, and apostles of The Most High GOD?

But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection; lest by any means,

when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

Shame is shame. Sin is sin. And the yawning, cavernous mouth of hell is reportedly full with former pastors, priests, apostles, and popes.

THE WAY OUT

No matter how long this terrible pattern of abuse has been going on, there is a way out.

There has no temptation taken you but such is common to man; but GOD is

faithful, Who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but wiill

with the temptation also make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it.

[1 Cor 10:13]

Beating one’s wife is a demonic temptation, so resist it assiduously, doggedly.

Resist the devil, and he will flee.

[James 4:7]

SEEK DELIVERANCE

And seek deliverance, as we said before; go before GOD, asking HIM to forgive you of all your sins, and name all the ones you know.

Then, if you know how to pray in the Spirit–speaking in unknown tongues–pray in the Spirit, asking Father GOD to cleanse you of sins unknown to you, too.

Don’t hold back with GOD. HE already knows you, inside and out. And The HOLY SPIRIT will convict you of all that you have done, helping you to bring these sins, transgressions, and iniquities to your remembrance.

For often, when we go before Father GOD for deliverance for one particular thing, we are reminded of those other things that our flesh wants to hold on to, that GOD wants to dispel from us, in their entirety.

With GOD, there is no ‘little bit clean’, ‘little bit saved’, ‘little bit dirty’.

Therefore ask Father GOD to cleanse you of the sins of abuse, and other sins. Repent of your sins and ask HIM for Grace to never repeat those terrible ways again.

Soak yourself in The Blood of JESUS.

Confess your love of GOD–Father, Son, and HOLY SPIRIT–and confess your love for your wife, your Covenant Beloved.

FIND THE TRIGGER/SEEK HER FORGIVENESS

In most patterns of abuse, there is something–an expression, an exchange of words, a scenario that seems to set it off, whether it is an excuse or not. Ask The HOLY SPIRIT to reveal it to you, and be open with your Beloved.

Sometimes it may be an expression of apparent disrespect, yet even this is still not an excuse or reason.

Apologize to your wife for every time you have hurt or abused her.

Express your repentance, and ask your Beloved’s forgiveness, and mean it.

There can be no forgiveness without your genuine humility, and a contrite, repentant heart.

SEEK GODLY, PROFESSIONAL COUNSEL

Now this is the part that some Christians resist more than they resist satan–seeking counsel.

You need Godly, professional counsel–a pastor, pastoral couple, or specialist who can work with you and your wife, and keep you accountable, for if you are not willing to be held accountable, you are not likely truly ready to repent and change, and stop forever the abusive behavior.

ALTERNATIVE

There is an alternative, indeed, there is likely more than one.

But no one who means well for you, your wife, and your marriage, will counsel your wife to stay where she is subject to physical and psychological abuse.

Be willing to let your wife and children move out temporarily, or you move out, while you get yourself together under an agreed upon mode of supervision.

But when a husband/father is persistently abusive, vengeful, and erratic, then he poses a palpable danger, and his wife and children should seek shelter in an undisclosed and protected location.

Under such circumstances, meetings with the husband should only take place in the presence of designated protection, in which the wife is well out of range, that is, out of harm’s way—blows, gunshots, acid attacks, etc.

Both of your extended families should be represented in the collective decision making, but those representatives of each of your families should be mutually agreed upon by you and your wife, and should be people whom you both believe want your family to succeed and prosper.

And, most importantly, these family members or relations must know that they have only one mandate–to help keep you together in peace and in health.

In short, they may counsel, but not cancel.

CONCLUSION

Dealing with the issues of wife abuse or domestic violence is very sensitive.

Remember, however that with GOD–no matter how trenchant or convoluted your particular case may appear to be–there is nothing impossible with GOD!!!

And JESUS looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible,

but not with GOD: for with GOD all things are possible

[Mark 10:27]

If a husband and wife who have shared love, have just faith–unwavering, mountain-moving faith—even just one of you, all things are possible to him or her who believes.

Ask Father GOD to Divinely separate you and your husband from every habit , desire, practice or relationship that does not give GOD glory, in JESUS Name.

Ask HIM to break every yoke of bondage—spiritual, Physical, Moral, Mental, Academic, Financial, Marital, Sexual, Relational, Generational (…Whatever it may be) over your and your husband’s life; ask Father GOD to open your spiritual eyes and ears that you may see and hear HIS Glory, in JESUS Name.

To be dynamic, be specific. Be specific with the type of bondage, be specific with whom you are praying for, as well as what you are binding, rebuking, or praying against.

Most importantly, believe GOD that that which HE has started in you and your Beloved, HE is faithful to complete, until JESUS comes.

You are heirs together of the grace of life.

You will do nothing to hinders your prayers, in JESUS’ Name.

HE will heal your marriage.

JESUS healed it on the cross.

It is well with you.

It is well with your Beloved.

It is very well with your marriage.

For as it is in Heaven, so it is in your marriage, in JESUS’ Name. AMEN!

(3) Be Humble, Stay Humble.

“The sacrifices of GOD are a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O GOD, Thou wilt not despise.” [Psalm 51:17].

In the same way that unforgiveness is often a symptom of pride—humility, a broken spirit, and a contrite heart, are definitely antidotes to pride.

“For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, Whose Name is Holy;

I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit,

To revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”

[Isaiah 57:13]

Once we have sinned against GOD, and against our Beloved, and we repent of what we have done, and what we have caused, FatherGOD  is so faithful to forgive , IF our repentance  is motivated by genuine contrition; the conviction that, with GOD`s Grace, that sin will never be revisited, and more vigilance against such behavior .

This has to be a real commitment and change of the attitude of one’s heart, your heart-titude.

Even as I write this, my own spirit is convicting me of what I only recently did in this regard, to my own Beloved, Heart of my Hearts.

Oh! It really is too easy to forget.

I need to paste this message on my forehead, and at the doorposts of my own heart.

(4) Communicate When Your Feelings Have Been Hurt.Don’t erect walls around your heart. Learn to speak about the things that hurt you, so that your heart does not harden in anger or unforgiveness, or misunderstanding.

Many times when we let our feelings be hurt by those closest to us, particularly our best Beloved–our darling wife or husband–she or he is not even aware, and the remark or slight or “offence” was either unintended, or not at all understood.

“….Oh, what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to GOD in prayer.”

The lyrics to this popular hymn (What a Friend We Have in JESUS) hit the matter straight on the head. Pray about your Beloved (or anyone else for that matter) hurting your feelings.

When we do this, before we speak out, it so often saves us much unnecessary pain.

And, as importantly, try to express your feelings, (whether hurt, or even anger, or “offense”) in an amicable or loving way.

Now, I know that this is often “more than a notion”,(that is, difficult or apparently impossible) but believe me, it makes all the difference.

Such communications are even more readily heard and accepted, or at least, more readily addressed by your loving partner, if you draw intimately near, and are placing your hand on his or her thigh, or arm, or shoulders, touching with love, as you speak.

If each of us (including yours truly) more consistently does this, we will experience the fruits of reassuring love.

For reassuring our Beloved of our love, even when–and especially when– the substance of what we are saying may be hard, or even, bitter to take, enables us to absorb the important or invaluable message, sometimes called “ constructive criticism”, that can rescue the situation, or save our marriage, in the long run.

“Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.”

Well, even though I would personally recommend honey instead of sugar, if you will remember Mary Poppins singing this song, you will quickly know what I mean, even as you LOL.

(5) Always Respect Each Other.

Don’t ever become so familiar with your Beloved that you give up on politeness and kindness in your communication with each other.

That is why the adage “familiarity breeds contempt” came into being, and is so powerfully correct as a warning.

Respect, in particular, is what our husbands desire (and deserve, I might add), with the same intensity that most wives desire love and affection.

But, in marriage, respect is truly not gender-specific, beyond the aforementioned distinction, used to make a particular point.

Respect means honoring each other in all things. The lack of respect is either like slow poison, corroding the cohesive unity of one’s marriage, or like a cancer that erupts within,  replicating its deadliness, and spreading relentlessly.

Work lovingly and assiduously at maintaining and/or restoring mutual respect as a non-negotiable privilege of your covenant union.

(6) Don’t Withhold Affection Due To “Offenses”

There’s an old, nasty trick that married people have been known to ‘play’ on each other that really should be placed in the trash with the lid locked on. And that is denying our sexual attentions and affection, because our Beloved husband or wife has done or said something, or has not done or said something that we are ‘demanding’.

There’s got to be, and is a far better way: do what’s right, first, by learning to separate skillfully our covenant love from our moods, whims, and caprices of the moment.

In any case, never forget that what is not of faith is of sin.

The WORD of GOD is patently clear on this practice that husbands and wives alike, are often wont to do, in withholding their sexual affection, claiming headaches, or otherwise not responding to their Beloved’s desires for them, for consensual sex.

“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also

the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one

the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to

fasting and prayer, and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for incontinency.”

1 Corinthians 7:4-5

Denying our Beloved of sexual affection is defrauding her or him of what is at once a rich covenant privilege and duty.

(7) Always Kiss and Hug Your Husband/Wife Goodbye When You Are Parting One from the Other—and Pray For Each Other.

We don’t know when one of us takes our leave of each other, and then enters into danger, temptation, or even death.

Our parting words and gestures towards each other may be our last, or they may be just the prayer that preserves us from danger, or directs favor towards us; or that reassurance of love that indemnifies or protects us from the snares of the fowler*, or the seduction that leads to milestone failures.

Covenant partners—husbands and wives—must be jealous for each other’s salvation, safety, and good success. [Joshua 1:8]

Achieving good success in life, as in marriage in particular, is very much about paying meticulous attention to the cumulative “little things” of daily living that abound richly when we have the right heart-titudes.

*the hunter’s trap

From America, to Italy, to Nigeria, and beyond, the increasing incidence of sexual corruption in high political office makes it appear as if the more we advance, the more too many of us—despite  the Gospel of JESUS CHRIST—stay the same.

Certainly, American morality—with its explicit Constitutionally-enshrined values of the fear of GOD, fairness and equality (slavery and widespread disenfranchisement notwithstanding)—seems to have taken a decisive nosedive in recent decades.

But whether the apparent rise in the incidence of corruption is actual, factual, or true, or whether it emerges as a consequence of increased exposure, due to electronic media and the Internet, remains to be seen.

What we do see, and what we must resolutely guard against in ourselves, and in our spouses, is our “rising” in the marketplace, and making a “success” out of our lives, only to find ourselves having failed our families, hurt our beloved wife/husband, and sinned against GOD.

The Washington Post of several months ago published a stunning set of photos and names as follows, of men holding (or having held) political office, who have lost or compromised their positions, their credibility, and in some cases, their families—due to the exposure of adultery or other egregious sexual behavior, like ‘hawking’ their bodies via Internet photos, or even in public toilet encounters, all in the pursuit of attracting sexual partners outside their marriages.

What in the world would possess sane, conscious, presumably responsible professionals and public servants to risk thwarting their destinies, and disgracing themselves, their families, their associates, and everything around them, for illicit sex?

Well, the operant word here is “possess”, because all of us must resolutely protect ourselves and our Beloved spouses, from allowing ourselves to be “possessed” by any habit, desire, taste, practice or relationship, that does not give GOD Glory.

Renowned leadership expert John C. Maxwell, in one of his books on excellence in leadership, identifies adultery as one of the major, common dangers facing men who become (or are becoming) leaders.

By the special Grace of GOD, every one of us who is a leader, has an upward or ascending trajectory in our careers or callings, within which each milestone (achievement, promotion, or increase, etc.) is a nodal point, that we can track or chart to the next milestone, from level to level.

Wonderfully enough, when many of us reach particular milestones like these, as we rise, we sometimes “fall” into diverse temptations which, if we are not vigilant, can make a mockery of our progress, and even turn us into “castaways”. (1 Colossians 9:27). GOD forbid!

I call these negative nodal points “milestone temptations” and “milestone failures”.

Why do you think that this would be the case?

Well, all too often, hand in hand with the exciting ascension to our leadership in one area or another, goes immense and dangerous pride.

Anyone who knows GOD, who reads HIS WORD, and who studies HIS Ways, knows fully well that Father GOD does not tolerate pride:

• “Thy terribleness hath deceived thee and the pride of thine heart”.

[Jeremiah 49:16]

• “Pride goes before destruction”. [Prov. 16:18]

• “A man’s pride shall bring him low”.[Prov. 29:23]

And, a careful study of the men (and women, too) who have transited from the apparently good and decent to the notorious, will usually reveal two or three traits which they have shared in common — one is pride; another, greed or lust (often sadly accompanied by a lying tongue); and lastly, insensitivity or selfishness.

Otherwise sane and thoughtful men, in particular, often swell up with pride and its twin brother, lust, as soon as they are accorded more responsibility, earn a promotion, win an election, come into bigger money, or are appointed to a higher post in any organization.

Except that they are grounded in the WORD of GOD, these are the milestone temptations which often profoundly affect even the children of GOD.

By the way, do you, yourself, remember to openly admire and praise your Beloved?

For, it frequently starts with admiration by strange women, or men–admiration that may have been lacking at home, from one’s own Beloved, in that relentless, reactive dance that married couples sometimes dance, called ‘keeping malice’, for ‘reasons’ that both have, more often than not, already forgotten after awhile. Yet, for stubbornness, or just plain mean pettiness, they keep the embers of anger hot or resentment hot.

Or, it might actually have begun as “his fault”, but by the time she commences ‘operation payback’, what started out as a short ‘two step’ dance might just morph into a dangerous ballet, within which attenuated alienation sets in with satanic precision.

These should not be named among the Children of GOD who are married, or single.

Prevention Always Better Than Cure

To avoid, no, to prevent these developments in your marriage, remember first and foremost, that your Beloved is both your best friend and your Covenant partner.

And, Covenant, first of all, is not at all like contract; a covenant relationship is non-negotiable,(that is, divorce is not option) and it is signed, sealed, and delivered in the Presence of GOD as Principal Witness.

In Covenant love, therefore we follow the precepts of Father GOD, LORD JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT, among which are these simple pride-resistant ones:

(1)   “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down on your wrath.”

[Ephesians 4:26]

In our marriages, any number of things may lead to anger, rightly or wrongly. And there is truly a phenomen that GOD recognizes, called ‘righteous anger’.

However, in the aforementioned scripture, the joining of ‘be ye angry, and sin not’ clearly speaks to the understanding that our keeping malice overnight is tantamount to sinning against GOD, and sinning against our covenant love.

Covenant couples must endeavor to settle their feuds, disagreements, and arguments within the shortest possible time, so that the misunderstanding or disagreement of today, does not carry over into tomorrow, for

“Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” [Matt 6:34]

Now, this is not the medium for exploring the different ways in which to do this, but one thing is for sure:

(2)Be Quick to Forgive

Try to always remember what our LORD and Savior, JESUS CHRIST, told the Disciples when they asked HIM how many times one should forgive the person who has hurt, caused offense, or otherwise wronged one.

And who can sometimes do it better than our closest neighbor, our Beloved husband or wife?

Then came Peter to Him, and said LORD, how often shall my brother

sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?

JESUS said to him, I say not to you, until seven times, but until seventy times seven.

[Matt. 18: 21-22]

Secondly, on forgiveness, having our prayers answered by GOD is also inextricably linked to our forgiveness of others. Or said in another way, unforgiveness is a hindrance and a stumbling block to blessings in our lives.

And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in GOD. For verily I say

Unto you, that whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be

thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those

things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that

Ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any; that your father

also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your

trespasses.                                                                             [Mark 11: 22-26]

Unforgiveness, indeed, is a stumbling block to salvation.

(to be continued)

When we were in Junior High School, we were assigned to read one exciting American short story that, at its climax, had the protagonist faced with a truly frightening choice.

He was forced to choose between opening one door or the other. Behind one door stood a beautiful lady, waiting specially for him. Behind the other door, pacing back and forth, with deadly feline ferocity, and ravenously hungry for his once a day meal was …. the tiger!

The amazing part of our own young, naive expectation was that we actually believed that only one of the choices was truly dangerous for the man, who was the subject of the story, and the object of the deadly dilemma.

Of course, as we identified with the man, we wished for him to certainly select the door with the lady, and….

And what, really?

Because frankly, knowing what we know today, as long as the man held in his possession a worthy weapon that he definitely knew how to wield, the safest selection might actually be the door behind which lurked the tiger.

Only one thing to do: Kill it. Finish. That`s all she wrote! And go on about his life.

Behind the other door, separating the beautiful lady from the man, could either be the best friend who would become his wife, or the destiny killer who could thwart or even destroy his precious life!

In very recent history, the same names seemed  to resurface in the shameful undressing of one of the world`s biggest sports superheroes before the full glare of global spotlights. Then, another tiger subjected his family and all who cherish covenant marriage to the unfolding saga of “ sexual addiction”, a new clinical name for an old and filthy affliction.

We can really only speculate on the true identity of the only lady that should matter..the wife, because especially in today`s celebrity showcase, some “stars”  pick their spouses with far less attention and care, than they pay to their selection of high priced designer wears or jewelry.

May that never be spoken of in our own marriages, whether we are known “stars” or quiet stars, sons and daughters of “The King.”

Marriage  is not about showcasing. He might be a handsome ‘hunk,’ and she might be a raving beauty, but “trophy “wives or husbands are the last things we should look for in the one that we shall cleave to for the rest of our lives.

For as the WORD of GOD says:

Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain. [Prov 31:30]

What we should be looking for, and even sacrificially seek to nurture in our Beloved is not the outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sigh of God of great price.[1 Peter 3: 3-4?]

Likewise, we must never measure the attractiveness or value of our Beloved by the property or wealth that he or she possesses. It is the promise of GOD for your Beloved, and the character of your spouse that matter. Build the wealth of your family together, with peace, with integrity, with Godly focus. That is the wealth you will truly enjoy, for it is only GOD who gives wealth, but does not add sorrow to it.

May you make wise decisions and Godly choices. You will never open the door and find that the beautiful lady or the handsome man is  in fact a ravenous tiger! May Father GOD close and lock forever every satanic door in our lives, and may HE open all the doors our enemies have shut. May HE daily anoint you and your Beloved freshly with Wisdom, Discerning Spirit, Favor, Mercy and Grace, in JESUS ‘precious and mighty Name!