CULLED FROM THE WONDERFUL LIVING ARCHIVES OF THE SAINTS OF THE LIVING LORD.

May the eyes of your understanding indeed, be enlightened!!!                    (Eph. 1:18)

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For
many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s
showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told
him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited
signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the
morning of his graduation his father called him into his private
study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine
son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son
a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man
opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily,
he raised his voice at his father and said, “With all your money you
give me a Bible?” and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in
business.
He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his
father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He
had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make
arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had
passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He
needed to come home immediately and take care things.
When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and
regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father’s important papers and
saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With
tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he
read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope
taped behind the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the
sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation,
and the words…PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God’s blessings because they are not
packaged as we expected?

What Love means to a 4-8 year old…

Touching words from the mouth of babes..

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds ,

‘What does love mean?’

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined

See what you think:

‘When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time , even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’

Rebecca- age 8

‘When someone loves you , the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’

Billy – age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

Karl – age 5

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

Chrissy – age 6

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’

Terri – age 4

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.’

Danny – age 7

‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing , you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss’

Emily – age 8

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents
And listen.’

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

‘If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate , ‘

Nikka – age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt , then he wears it everyday..’

Noelle – age 7

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’

Tommy – age 6

‘During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’

Cindy – age 8

‘My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’

Clare – age 6

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’

Elaine-age 5

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford .’

Chris – age 7

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’

Mary Ann – age 4

‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’

Lauren – age 4

‘When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ (what an image)

Karen – age 7

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross..’

Mark – age 6

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it , you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica – age 8
And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry , the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard , climbed onto his lap , and just sat there..

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor , the little boy said ,

‘Nothing , I just helped him cry’

When there is nothing left but God , that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

Heavenly Father , please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of Your peace , prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen .

Then send it on to five other people , Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life.

P. S. Five is good , but more is better..
God Bless You!

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.

[Proverb 8:22]

Almost every Christian man who knows the importance of the WORD of GOD, is familiar with the above mentioned scripture, even if he had only heard it for the first time, on his wedding day!

Most of us enter our marriages with a sense that our wife, our husband–our Beloved–is a precious gift from GOD, that we are committed to care for, with tender love.

Husbands, in particular, are taught (at what point in their lives, however?) to

“Dwell with them (their wives) according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife,

as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that

your prayers be not hindered. (Emphases are mine.) [1 Peter 3:7]

We shall return to this Scripture.

An active listener and an active discussant all my life, who has witnessed and heard an amazing variety of “shockers”, I am nonetheless still struck “dumb” –literally speechless in open-mouthed wonder–by eyewitness and victim accounts of beatings, including kicking and inflicting of wounds with handheld objects, by formerly loving, “apparently” kind husbands.

Then, what is it in the man, that would make that man take his precious gift from GOD and turn her into a punching bag, a shattered vessel, “deserted and distressed in Spirit?”

[Isaiah 54:6]

With each passing day, despite increasing levels of education, and decades of public sensitization, and consciousness-raising on the dangers and evils of wife abuse and domestic violence, there is no reliable evidence that the incidence of wife beating, in particular, has decreased significantly in most countries of the world.

In the United States alone, there is a style of male undershirt popularly called ‘wife beater’ by presumably intelligent and sometimes educated younger women, as well as men!

Indeed, what is particularly disturbing is the fact that–quiet as it is still kept–horrendous cases of wife abuse and domestic violence, sometimes leading to murder, have been identified among so-called Christians.

Such was the case recently in one of the world’s fastest growing churches, with branches in Nigeria, the United Kingdom and the United States.

A young man who had actually been considered for a leadership position in the church, recently was discovered to have murdered his young wife, after repeatedly having beaten and tortured her in different incidents since their marriage began.

She had left him a few times, returning to her parents, but would always leave them to return to the life-threatening behavior of her husband because, as she reportedly confessed to close friends and family, she did not want her newborn baby to grow up without her father.

Today, barely two months since her mother was finally beaten to death, that same baby will grow up without her mother and her father–first, because of the viciousness and duplicity of the father/husband, and secondly, because of the reckless dependence and poor judgment of the mother, and all those who knew her predicament, yet failed to rescue her from predictable destruction.

HARDNESS OF THE HEART

Let us reason together, my brothers.

Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away

your wives; but from the beginning it was not so.                     [ Matt 19:8]

It is only hardness of the heart that would prompt a husband to beat or manhandle his wife, for even the provocation of that “unruly member”-the sharp tongue of one’s wife-can never justify the husband seeking recourse in physical violence, which has been appropriately called the language of the incompetent.

Verbal abuse is bad enough and very harmful, too.

But hardness of the heart, as Apostle NikeWilheims, once powerfully asserted, is a demon.

No red blooded child of GOD can point to a single line, ‘‘jot’’, or ‘’tittle’’, where Scripture either prescribes or rationalizes the violence of a stronger vessel, against “the weaker vessel”, the wife.

Whereas The WORD of GOD expressly cautions parents against spoiling the child by ‘sparing’, or failing to use the rod, that is, spanking or physically disciplining one’s child—(with exceeding abundant wisdom, we must add)–there is no Biblical reference that in any way condones physically disciplining one’s wife–or husband, for that matter.

POOR ROLE MODEL, WEAK FOUNDATION

In the beginning of this Post, we asked the question ‘what in the man would provoke him?’

Whereas many men might proffer answers which sound rational, even to a wife who has been subject to the same upbringing, or exposure, statistically, it has been established that nine out of ten men who strike, beat, or otherwise abuse their wives grew up with fathers, or male authority figures, who also beat their own wives, who were most often the mothers of these same wife-abusing husbands in the present generation.

What are we saying?

Young boys and youths who have experienced abusive husband role models, even though they hated the violent behavior of their fathers, often grow up to repeat these same abusive patterns of relationship in their adulthood, when they become husbands, and also parents.

If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?

[Psalms 11:3]

Many of us come from generations of wife-abusing and also child-abusing fathers–a weak foundation indeed. Yet, we are called ‘righteous’ because, having given our lives to CHRIST, we are made to be in right standing before GOD.

REPROVE SHAMEFUL SECRETS

But this level of being ‘justified’ in CHRIST does not permit or rationalize or ‘justify’ the sinful nature–or the criminal act–to have dominion in your life, or in your marriage.

For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the LORD;

Walk as Children of Light; (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and

righteousness and truth)  providing what is acceptable unto The LORD

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but

rather  reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things

are done of them  in  secret. (Emphasis mine) [Ephesians 5: 8-12]

You men, who have friends who you know beat their wives, do you ever remember any of them standing in a group of your Christian friends and confidently talking about how he beat his wife?

How many husbands who are Christian, comfortably share the fact that they are adulterers—having, or “going out with” a woman, mistress, girlfriend or concubine?

Very few, if any.

And you do know that if you are aware of such behavior, either as a friend, or as a fellow Christian, it is your responsibility to take him aside, admonish (warn) him, and exhort (encourage and even plead with) him to cease and desist from such shameful and destructive behavior.

What if, indeed, it is you, yourself, who is doing such to your Beloved?

GO BEFORE GOD/SEEK COUNSEL

Whatever has drawn you into a pattern or lifestyle of sin, whether it is a foundation ‘destroyed’ or polluted by generational sins of wife-abuse (and/or child abuse), or whether you have started beating your wife without such antecedents, go before GOD today-NOW-and ask HIM to dry up forever, that wellspring of bitterness and death within yourself, before it is too late– for you, for your wife, for your marriage, for your children, and for your generations yet to come.

Upon all you have done to know GOD, to serve GOD, to model The LORD JESUS, would you want to lose your salvation, your right standing before GOD, and your place in The Lamb’s Book of Life, because of beating the wife GOD gave to you to cherish and to nourish and to protect?

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife,

loves himself, For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and

cherishes it, even as The LORD the church.                   [Ephesians 5:28-29]

And what of you who are yourselves ministration leaders, pastors, priests, and apostles of The Most High GOD?

But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection; lest by any means,

when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

Shame is shame. Sin is sin. And the yawning, cavernous mouth of hell is reportedly full with former pastors, priests, apostles, and popes.

THE WAY OUT

No matter how long this terrible pattern of abuse has been going on, there is a way out.

There has no temptation taken you but such is common to man; but GOD is

faithful, Who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but wiill

with the temptation also make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it.

[1 Cor 10:13]

Beating one’s wife is a demonic temptation, so resist it assiduously, doggedly.

Resist the devil, and he will flee.

[James 4:7]

SEEK DELIVERANCE

And seek deliverance, as we said before; go before GOD, asking HIM to forgive you of all your sins, and name all the ones you know.

Then, if you know how to pray in the Spirit–speaking in unknown tongues–pray in the Spirit, asking Father GOD to cleanse you of sins unknown to you, too.

Don’t hold back with GOD. HE already knows you, inside and out. And The HOLY SPIRIT will convict you of all that you have done, helping you to bring these sins, transgressions, and iniquities to your remembrance.

For often, when we go before Father GOD for deliverance for one particular thing, we are reminded of those other things that our flesh wants to hold on to, that GOD wants to dispel from us, in their entirety.

With GOD, there is no ‘little bit clean’, ‘little bit saved’, ‘little bit dirty’.

Therefore ask Father GOD to cleanse you of the sins of abuse, and other sins. Repent of your sins and ask HIM for Grace to never repeat those terrible ways again.

Soak yourself in The Blood of JESUS.

Confess your love of GOD–Father, Son, and HOLY SPIRIT–and confess your love for your wife, your Covenant Beloved.

FIND THE TRIGGER/SEEK HER FORGIVENESS

In most patterns of abuse, there is something–an expression, an exchange of words, a scenario that seems to set it off, whether it is an excuse or not. Ask The HOLY SPIRIT to reveal it to you, and be open with your Beloved.

Sometimes it may be an expression of apparent disrespect, yet even this is still not an excuse or reason.

Apologize to your wife for every time you have hurt or abused her.

Express your repentance, and ask your Beloved’s forgiveness, and mean it.

There can be no forgiveness without your genuine humility, and a contrite, repentant heart.

SEEK GODLY, PROFESSIONAL COUNSEL

Now this is the part that some Christians resist more than they resist satan–seeking counsel.

You need Godly, professional counsel–a pastor, pastoral couple, or specialist who can work with you and your wife, and keep you accountable, for if you are not willing to be held accountable, you are not likely truly ready to repent and change, and stop forever the abusive behavior.

ALTERNATIVE

There is an alternative, indeed, there is likely more than one.

But no one who means well for you, your wife, and your marriage, will counsel your wife to stay where she is subject to physical and psychological abuse.

Be willing to let your wife and children move out temporarily, or you move out, while you get yourself together under an agreed upon mode of supervision.

But when a husband/father is persistently abusive, vengeful, and erratic, then he poses a palpable danger, and his wife and children should seek shelter in an undisclosed and protected location.

Under such circumstances, meetings with the husband should only take place in the presence of designated protection, in which the wife is well out of range, that is, out of harm’s way—blows, gunshots, acid attacks, etc.

Both of your extended families should be represented in the collective decision making, but those representatives of each of your families should be mutually agreed upon by you and your wife, and should be people whom you both believe want your family to succeed and prosper.

And, most importantly, these family members or relations must know that they have only one mandate–to help keep you together in peace and in health.

In short, they may counsel, but not cancel.

CONCLUSION

Dealing with the issues of wife abuse or domestic violence is very sensitive.

Remember, however that with GOD–no matter how trenchant or convoluted your particular case may appear to be–there is nothing impossible with GOD!!!

And JESUS looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible,

but not with GOD: for with GOD all things are possible

[Mark 10:27]

If a husband and wife who have shared love, have just faith–unwavering, mountain-moving faith—even just one of you, all things are possible to him or her who believes.

Ask Father GOD to Divinely separate you and your husband from every habit , desire, practice or relationship that does not give GOD glory, in JESUS Name.

Ask HIM to break every yoke of bondage—spiritual, Physical, Moral, Mental, Academic, Financial, Marital, Sexual, Relational, Generational (…Whatever it may be) over your and your husband’s life; ask Father GOD to open your spiritual eyes and ears that you may see and hear HIS Glory, in JESUS Name.

To be dynamic, be specific. Be specific with the type of bondage, be specific with whom you are praying for, as well as what you are binding, rebuking, or praying against.

Most importantly, believe GOD that that which HE has started in you and your Beloved, HE is faithful to complete, until JESUS comes.

You are heirs together of the grace of life.

You will do nothing to hinders your prayers, in JESUS’ Name.

HE will heal your marriage.

JESUS healed it on the cross.

It is well with you.

It is well with your Beloved.

It is very well with your marriage.

For as it is in Heaven, so it is in your marriage, in JESUS’ Name. AMEN!

(3) Be Humble, Stay Humble.

“The sacrifices of GOD are a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O GOD, Thou wilt not despise.” [Psalm 51:17].

In the same way that unforgiveness is often a symptom of pride—humility, a broken spirit, and a contrite heart, are definitely antidotes to pride.

“For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, Whose Name is Holy;

I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit,

To revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”

[Isaiah 57:13]

Once we have sinned against GOD, and against our Beloved, and we repent of what we have done, and what we have caused, FatherGOD  is so faithful to forgive , IF our repentance  is motivated by genuine contrition; the conviction that, with GOD`s Grace, that sin will never be revisited, and more vigilance against such behavior .

This has to be a real commitment and change of the attitude of one’s heart, your heart-titude.

Even as I write this, my own spirit is convicting me of what I only recently did in this regard, to my own Beloved, Heart of my Hearts.

Oh! It really is too easy to forget.

I need to paste this message on my forehead, and at the doorposts of my own heart.

(4) Communicate When Your Feelings Have Been Hurt.Don’t erect walls around your heart. Learn to speak about the things that hurt you, so that your heart does not harden in anger or unforgiveness, or misunderstanding.

Many times when we let our feelings be hurt by those closest to us, particularly our best Beloved–our darling wife or husband–she or he is not even aware, and the remark or slight or “offence” was either unintended, or not at all understood.

“….Oh, what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to GOD in prayer.”

The lyrics to this popular hymn (What a Friend We Have in JESUS) hit the matter straight on the head. Pray about your Beloved (or anyone else for that matter) hurting your feelings.

When we do this, before we speak out, it so often saves us much unnecessary pain.

And, as importantly, try to express your feelings, (whether hurt, or even anger, or “offense”) in an amicable or loving way.

Now, I know that this is often “more than a notion”,(that is, difficult or apparently impossible) but believe me, it makes all the difference.

Such communications are even more readily heard and accepted, or at least, more readily addressed by your loving partner, if you draw intimately near, and are placing your hand on his or her thigh, or arm, or shoulders, touching with love, as you speak.

If each of us (including yours truly) more consistently does this, we will experience the fruits of reassuring love.

For reassuring our Beloved of our love, even when–and especially when– the substance of what we are saying may be hard, or even, bitter to take, enables us to absorb the important or invaluable message, sometimes called “ constructive criticism”, that can rescue the situation, or save our marriage, in the long run.

“Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.”

Well, even though I would personally recommend honey instead of sugar, if you will remember Mary Poppins singing this song, you will quickly know what I mean, even as you LOL.

(5) Always Respect Each Other.

Don’t ever become so familiar with your Beloved that you give up on politeness and kindness in your communication with each other.

That is why the adage “familiarity breeds contempt” came into being, and is so powerfully correct as a warning.

Respect, in particular, is what our husbands desire (and deserve, I might add), with the same intensity that most wives desire love and affection.

But, in marriage, respect is truly not gender-specific, beyond the aforementioned distinction, used to make a particular point.

Respect means honoring each other in all things. The lack of respect is either like slow poison, corroding the cohesive unity of one’s marriage, or like a cancer that erupts within,  replicating its deadliness, and spreading relentlessly.

Work lovingly and assiduously at maintaining and/or restoring mutual respect as a non-negotiable privilege of your covenant union.

(6) Don’t Withhold Affection Due To “Offenses”

There’s an old, nasty trick that married people have been known to ‘play’ on each other that really should be placed in the trash with the lid locked on. And that is denying our sexual attentions and affection, because our Beloved husband or wife has done or said something, or has not done or said something that we are ‘demanding’.

There’s got to be, and is a far better way: do what’s right, first, by learning to separate skillfully our covenant love from our moods, whims, and caprices of the moment.

In any case, never forget that what is not of faith is of sin.

The WORD of GOD is patently clear on this practice that husbands and wives alike, are often wont to do, in withholding their sexual affection, claiming headaches, or otherwise not responding to their Beloved’s desires for them, for consensual sex.

“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also

the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one

the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to

fasting and prayer, and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for incontinency.”

1 Corinthians 7:4-5

Denying our Beloved of sexual affection is defrauding her or him of what is at once a rich covenant privilege and duty.

(7) Always Kiss and Hug Your Husband/Wife Goodbye When You Are Parting One from the Other—and Pray For Each Other.

We don’t know when one of us takes our leave of each other, and then enters into danger, temptation, or even death.

Our parting words and gestures towards each other may be our last, or they may be just the prayer that preserves us from danger, or directs favor towards us; or that reassurance of love that indemnifies or protects us from the snares of the fowler*, or the seduction that leads to milestone failures.

Covenant partners—husbands and wives—must be jealous for each other’s salvation, safety, and good success. [Joshua 1:8]

Achieving good success in life, as in marriage in particular, is very much about paying meticulous attention to the cumulative “little things” of daily living that abound richly when we have the right heart-titudes.

*the hunter’s trap

From America, to Italy, to Nigeria, and beyond, the increasing incidence of sexual corruption in high political office makes it appear as if the more we advance, the more too many of us—despite  the Gospel of JESUS CHRIST—stay the same.

Certainly, American morality—with its explicit Constitutionally-enshrined values of the fear of GOD, fairness and equality (slavery and widespread disenfranchisement notwithstanding)—seems to have taken a decisive nosedive in recent decades.

But whether the apparent rise in the incidence of corruption is actual, factual, or true, or whether it emerges as a consequence of increased exposure, due to electronic media and the Internet, remains to be seen.

What we do see, and what we must resolutely guard against in ourselves, and in our spouses, is our “rising” in the marketplace, and making a “success” out of our lives, only to find ourselves having failed our families, hurt our beloved wife/husband, and sinned against GOD.

The Washington Post of several months ago published a stunning set of photos and names as follows, of men holding (or having held) political office, who have lost or compromised their positions, their credibility, and in some cases, their families—due to the exposure of adultery or other egregious sexual behavior, like ‘hawking’ their bodies via Internet photos, or even in public toilet encounters, all in the pursuit of attracting sexual partners outside their marriages.

What in the world would possess sane, conscious, presumably responsible professionals and public servants to risk thwarting their destinies, and disgracing themselves, their families, their associates, and everything around them, for illicit sex?

Well, the operant word here is “possess”, because all of us must resolutely protect ourselves and our Beloved spouses, from allowing ourselves to be “possessed” by any habit, desire, taste, practice or relationship, that does not give GOD Glory.

Renowned leadership expert John C. Maxwell, in one of his books on excellence in leadership, identifies adultery as one of the major, common dangers facing men who become (or are becoming) leaders.

By the special Grace of GOD, every one of us who is a leader, has an upward or ascending trajectory in our careers or callings, within which each milestone (achievement, promotion, or increase, etc.) is a nodal point, that we can track or chart to the next milestone, from level to level.

Wonderfully enough, when many of us reach particular milestones like these, as we rise, we sometimes “fall” into diverse temptations which, if we are not vigilant, can make a mockery of our progress, and even turn us into “castaways”. (1 Colossians 9:27). GOD forbid!

I call these negative nodal points “milestone temptations” and “milestone failures”.

Why do you think that this would be the case?

Well, all too often, hand in hand with the exciting ascension to our leadership in one area or another, goes immense and dangerous pride.

Anyone who knows GOD, who reads HIS WORD, and who studies HIS Ways, knows fully well that Father GOD does not tolerate pride:

• “Thy terribleness hath deceived thee and the pride of thine heart”.

[Jeremiah 49:16]

• “Pride goes before destruction”. [Prov. 16:18]

• “A man’s pride shall bring him low”.[Prov. 29:23]

And, a careful study of the men (and women, too) who have transited from the apparently good and decent to the notorious, will usually reveal two or three traits which they have shared in common — one is pride; another, greed or lust (often sadly accompanied by a lying tongue); and lastly, insensitivity or selfishness.

Otherwise sane and thoughtful men, in particular, often swell up with pride and its twin brother, lust, as soon as they are accorded more responsibility, earn a promotion, win an election, come into bigger money, or are appointed to a higher post in any organization.

Except that they are grounded in the WORD of GOD, these are the milestone temptations which often profoundly affect even the children of GOD.

By the way, do you, yourself, remember to openly admire and praise your Beloved?

For, it frequently starts with admiration by strange women, or men–admiration that may have been lacking at home, from one’s own Beloved, in that relentless, reactive dance that married couples sometimes dance, called ‘keeping malice’, for ‘reasons’ that both have, more often than not, already forgotten after awhile. Yet, for stubbornness, or just plain mean pettiness, they keep the embers of anger hot or resentment hot.

Or, it might actually have begun as “his fault”, but by the time she commences ‘operation payback’, what started out as a short ‘two step’ dance might just morph into a dangerous ballet, within which attenuated alienation sets in with satanic precision.

These should not be named among the Children of GOD who are married, or single.

Prevention Always Better Than Cure

To avoid, no, to prevent these developments in your marriage, remember first and foremost, that your Beloved is both your best friend and your Covenant partner.

And, Covenant, first of all, is not at all like contract; a covenant relationship is non-negotiable,(that is, divorce is not option) and it is signed, sealed, and delivered in the Presence of GOD as Principal Witness.

In Covenant love, therefore we follow the precepts of Father GOD, LORD JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT, among which are these simple pride-resistant ones:

(1)   “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down on your wrath.”

[Ephesians 4:26]

In our marriages, any number of things may lead to anger, rightly or wrongly. And there is truly a phenomen that GOD recognizes, called ‘righteous anger’.

However, in the aforementioned scripture, the joining of ‘be ye angry, and sin not’ clearly speaks to the understanding that our keeping malice overnight is tantamount to sinning against GOD, and sinning against our covenant love.

Covenant couples must endeavor to settle their feuds, disagreements, and arguments within the shortest possible time, so that the misunderstanding or disagreement of today, does not carry over into tomorrow, for

“Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” [Matt 6:34]

Now, this is not the medium for exploring the different ways in which to do this, but one thing is for sure:

(2)Be Quick to Forgive

Try to always remember what our LORD and Savior, JESUS CHRIST, told the Disciples when they asked HIM how many times one should forgive the person who has hurt, caused offense, or otherwise wronged one.

And who can sometimes do it better than our closest neighbor, our Beloved husband or wife?

Then came Peter to Him, and said LORD, how often shall my brother

sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?

JESUS said to him, I say not to you, until seven times, but until seventy times seven.

[Matt. 18: 21-22]

Secondly, on forgiveness, having our prayers answered by GOD is also inextricably linked to our forgiveness of others. Or said in another way, unforgiveness is a hindrance and a stumbling block to blessings in our lives.

And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in GOD. For verily I say

Unto you, that whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be

thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those

things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that

Ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any; that your father

also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your

trespasses.                                                                             [Mark 11: 22-26]

Unforgiveness, indeed, is a stumbling block to salvation.

(to be continued)

When we were in Junior High School, we were assigned to read one exciting American short story that, at its climax, had the protagonist faced with a truly frightening choice.

He was forced to choose between opening one door or the other. Behind one door stood a beautiful lady, waiting specially for him. Behind the other door, pacing back and forth, with deadly feline ferocity, and ravenously hungry for his once a day meal was …. the tiger!

The amazing part of our own young, naive expectation was that we actually believed that only one of the choices was truly dangerous for the man, who was the subject of the story, and the object of the deadly dilemma.

Of course, as we identified with the man, we wished for him to certainly select the door with the lady, and….

And what, really?

Because frankly, knowing what we know today, as long as the man held in his possession a worthy weapon that he definitely knew how to wield, the safest selection might actually be the door behind which lurked the tiger.

Only one thing to do: Kill it. Finish. That`s all she wrote! And go on about his life.

Behind the other door, separating the beautiful lady from the man, could either be the best friend who would become his wife, or the destiny killer who could thwart or even destroy his precious life!

In very recent history, the same names seemed  to resurface in the shameful undressing of one of the world`s biggest sports superheroes before the full glare of global spotlights. Then, another tiger subjected his family and all who cherish covenant marriage to the unfolding saga of “ sexual addiction”, a new clinical name for an old and filthy affliction.

We can really only speculate on the true identity of the only lady that should matter..the wife, because especially in today`s celebrity showcase, some “stars”  pick their spouses with far less attention and care, than they pay to their selection of high priced designer wears or jewelry.

May that never be spoken of in our own marriages, whether we are known “stars” or quiet stars, sons and daughters of “The King.”

Marriage  is not about showcasing. He might be a handsome ‘hunk,’ and she might be a raving beauty, but “trophy “wives or husbands are the last things we should look for in the one that we shall cleave to for the rest of our lives.

For as the WORD of GOD says:

Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain. [Prov 31:30]

What we should be looking for, and even sacrificially seek to nurture in our Beloved is not the outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sigh of God of great price.[1 Peter 3: 3-4?]

Likewise, we must never measure the attractiveness or value of our Beloved by the property or wealth that he or she possesses. It is the promise of GOD for your Beloved, and the character of your spouse that matter. Build the wealth of your family together, with peace, with integrity, with Godly focus. That is the wealth you will truly enjoy, for it is only GOD who gives wealth, but does not add sorrow to it.

May you make wise decisions and Godly choices. You will never open the door and find that the beautiful lady or the handsome man is  in fact a ravenous tiger! May Father GOD close and lock forever every satanic door in our lives, and may HE open all the doors our enemies have shut. May HE daily anoint you and your Beloved freshly with Wisdom, Discerning Spirit, Favor, Mercy and Grace, in JESUS ‘precious and mighty Name!

At a high profile event recently, hosts and guests alike, marveled at the behavior of one of the lady guests in attendance, seated at one of the many well laid-out tables, replete with choice wines and juices, and a continuous banquet spread of dishes and delicacies.

She was keenly watched, in particular, by one of the Host’s ‘old boy’ tables where close and respected male associates and friends occupied prime seats. With frequency, waiters came and asked the well-dressed lady what she would care to eat or drink, and she would politely decline their offers for close to three hours, as she claimed two adjoining chairs, one  at the head of the table at which she sat, and one immediately opposite her, for  two anticipated guests.

There she sat, occasionally nodding respectfully or warmly at various other guests, who would catch her attention from time to time, by their own greetings. Meanwhile, the lady continued to sit quietly, entertaining herself for the three hour period, by composing something or other on her handset. At last, she arose from her seat with palpable excitement, as two men—an elder and a young man—directly approached her.

As they drew near, she quickly bowed her knees deferentially for the elder man, and then fairly leapt upon him, throwing both arms affectionately about his neck! Then, all three of them sat down, together – -  the elder at the head of her table, and the young man opposite her, as she beckoned on a nearby waiter to begin to serve the food and drinks she had reserved for themselves, as she had awaited her husband’s and son’s arrival. Neither her patient, disciplined consistent refusal to partake beforehand of any of the Party offerings, nor the respectful, yet loving way she greeted her husband, was lost on any of the casual or known observers at the event.

Her dignified reserve and warm affection accorded great prestige to her husband, and made her own prolonged wait for, and reception of husband and son an event within the Event. Just as genuine chivalry in men, and husbands, in particular, is greatly to be cherished by good women, and wives, so too, gracious reserved comportment and reverence for husbands by wives, is highly prized, and readily sets such wives apart, as virtuous women and wives of excellence.

SELAH!

It still never ceases to amaze me, when talking with, or counseling men, women, and couples, how many married couples actually believe that the most intimate act in their marriage is a three letter word.

I submit that indeed, the most intimate act in marriage, is actually a four letter word, though certainly not the vulgar expletive many of us anticipate, as a synonym of that big three letter word, SEX.

The most intimate act between husband and wife is to pray, believe it or not.

And, if you know that making love is, or can be powerful, evocative, relaxing, relieving, tender and/or thrilling, cultivate the practice of prayer together – open, honest, creative, and non-mechanical.

Praying together as husband and wife is simply indescribably magnificent, indeterminably powerful, beyond even happy superlatives like supercalifragilisticexpialadocious!

There are no proper directions for husband and wife making love. There are rich guidelines and numerous fascinating positions, and certainly some good useful advice for any number of issues that arise (actually, ‘pop up’ is often more like it), when we are face to face with each other in the primordial posturing  so clinically called sexual intercourse.

Divine Prayer Formula. But for prayer, the most intimate act between each of us – then both of us and GOD – The WORD of GOD has already offered a powerful pattern in The LORD’s Prayer:

 
• Worship/Praise (Hallowed by Thy Name);
• Petition ( Give us this day our daily bread…. etc.)
• Worship/Praise (Thine is the Kingdom, The Power & The Glory, forever & ever

In short, we begin with worship and we end with worship. Praise and worship envelop our petitions (whether these are requests, or spiritual warfare against principalities and powers).

I’m addressing these matters, because for so many couples, praying together is not yet something that flows in their relationship.

We are ‘in CHRIST’, for ‘in HIM, we live and move, and have our being’ [Acts 17:28]. For us who are in CHRIST, praying eventually becomes like loving, like breathing. There’s a beautiful worship ballad whose words start:

This is the air I breathe,

This is the air I breathe,

Your Holy Presence living in me.

This is my daily bread,

This is my daily bread….

Your very Word spoken to me.

Avoid Sin In the ‘old days’ during the ‘old conversation’ between me and my Beloved, if there had been friction, disagreement, or one of us had ‘given offense’, of any kind, one of us would refuse to pray together before we moved out from our matrimonial bedroom into the world, as is our own covenant custom.

Forsaking our daily prayer covenant together was very painful, and embarrassing to say the least, because it only pointed up an area of lingering sin (falling below the mark) in our relationship, both with each other, and with our Father GOD, LORD JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT.

Once you make a covenant of shared daily prayer, and that includes praise and worship, reneging – or going back – on that covenant is breaking the three fold cord between each other and GOD, the Holy Trinity, something we must assiduously and studiously avoid doing.

Once you are married, please take praying, and praise and worship together, as your necessary food, your daily bread. It’s not the number of minutes – it can be a minute, or less, an hour or more. You and your Beloved may not be able to, or even want to, make love together every single day for one ‘reason’ or the other, but consider daily prayer (including praise and worship) as a covenant matter in your walk together, with each other, and together with GOD. Powerful Agreement.

Again I say unto you where two or three are gathered together, in MY Name, there am I in the midst of them. [Matt 18:20]

JESUS is the silent active Presence in the midst of your prayer, your praise, your warfare, your worship.

Again, I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth, as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them, of my Father which is in heaven. [Matt 18:19]

What are we waiting for? HE said “agree, touching anything”. Then, indeed, we have the Divine assurance that what we ask together in HIS Name will be done (has been done) by Father GOD. What an awesome privilege we have as husband and wife, children of the Most High; and then that means, we also share an awesome responsibility – to ask wisely, to intercede for others faithfully, to seek with a discerning spirit.

A Three Fold Cord

We marry before GOD and the witnesses of men and women. Our marriage to each other is a covenant relationship, in the horizontal; and a covenant relationship in the vertical, between the two of us in marriage, and GOD, The Father; GOD, The Son; and GOD, The Holy Spirit.

Thus, neither one of us in the couple should ever despair. We need not be dismayed. We must not fear. For we are never alone, nor helpless.

Moreover, agreeing in prayer empowers us: Remind yourselves repeatedly, that one can chase a thousand, and two can put ten thousand to flight. [Dt. 32:30]

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not easily broken. [Eccles. 4:12]

In that most intimate act of praying together, literally everything that concerns the two of you, your dreams, your disappointments, your gratitude, will be worked out, through CHRIST, to your relief and honor, to GOD’s eternal Glory!

Please pardon the long ‘radio silence’, my dear Sisters/Brothers. I have deeply appreciated your comments, and encouragement, and always will.

As Children of GOD, we all know that it is good to get into The WORD of GOD, but more important – truthfully – is it to get The WORD into you, into us. This WORD, Scripture establishes:

shall not depart out of your mouth; but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it, for then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall have good success. (emphasis mine) [Joshua 1:8]

Not just success, but good success!

JESUS Is The Living WORD. Hebrews 4:12 states it quite profoundly, and in so doing, unmistakably clarifies that The WORD of GOD is not just ink on paper, is far more than Godly counsel, but is – in fact and in truth – a living Being:

For The WORD of GOD is alive and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (emphasis mine). [Hebrews 4:12]

Only a living Being can “discern” the thoughts and intents of our hearts.

In the beginning was the WORD, and the WORD was with GOD, and the WORD was GOD.                             [John 1:1]

And that living WORD is JESUS! Hallelujah to The Lamb of GOD! Now, some of you might, like renowned detective Sherlock Holmes, cynically say: “Elementary, my dear Watson!” But it’s not as simple as that, for many of us skim over the WORD of GOD, missing all the life-giving, heart-healing, mind-renewing power therein, like people walking while asleep, and sometimes very much like the living dead! Meditation & Your Mouth.

In Hebrew and in Aramaic, the first languages in which the Holy Bible was written, the word for ‘meditate’ is more distinct than our common English definitions, which are to think deeply on, or consider a matter. In both these languages, and in the actual practice of the Hebrew or Jewish culture, when one meditates on The WORD, one mutters that WORD to oneself, saying the WORD out loud, over and over again, to one’s own hearing. Now, this explanation should help to make the injunction in Joshua 1:8, a lot clearer, when ‘it’ says “this Book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth; but you shall meditate in it day and night”, for there is a distinct relationship between meditation and the mouth: one must open one’s mouth in order to mutter that WORD to oneself!

You shall decree a thing and it shall be established to you: [Job 22:28]

Let us speak out that WORD that empowers, heals, renews, protects, fructifies (make fruitful), and edifies us! Power In The WORD. Thus, there is not only power in The WORD, there is power in saying it, speaking it, declaring it.

Those of us who are, or who have ever been students, will certainly remember how much we gain from speaking aloud what we want and need to commit to our memory, and then, finally, to our understanding. There is power in the written word, undoubtedly – especially to illuminate, sometimes to darken, but definitely to ignite the imaginations of men and women. Yet the power in the spoken word – particularly the living WORD – is given of GOD, such that even the wicked recognize it as a principle, often more than do the righteous in CHRIST.

Doing The WORD = Faith. We who are in CHRIST are regularly exhorted to be not just hearers, but doers of the WORD. [James 1:22]. The more mature we are – moving beyond the “sincere milk” of the WORD (which is reserved for those who are scriptural ‘neonates’, or newborn babes) [1Peter 2:2], the more precisely we operate towards WORD perfection, “calling those things which be not as though they were”. For this is what GOD does, and that we, as HIS Own, are taught, exhorted, and admonished to do, as we operate in the only language or currency which GOD recognizes: that of faith.

As we approach the end of the year 2010, believing GOD, both to finish it well, with full blessings, and to enter the New Year in health and peace, let us take stock of our lives, in living the WORD, and in walking in CHRIST.

Every morning, if not every night, each of us usually looks in the mirror, to make sure we’re looking presentable, to remove the unwanted or the unsightly from our faces, our heads, and so on. As often as is possible, in the morning, and especially at night, I try to remember to look at myself and assess who I was that day, how and where I fell short of GOD’s Glory, asking GOD’s forgiveness, and promising myself and Father GOD that I will work on that shortfall, and try to redeem myself and the time.

“So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom”. [Psalm 90:12]

The Woman/The Man in the Mirror

That spiritual exercise reminds me so much of the iconic late Michael Jackson’s “I’m Looking at the Man in the Mirror”, when he sings:

I’m looking at the man in the mirror

I’m asking him to change his ways…

If you wanna make the world a better place

You gotta look at yourself

And make a CHANGE!

For me, there is the physical mirror, and then, there is the spiritual mirror, The WORD of GOD, powerful, poignant, and simple!

When you engage yourself in this exercise, especially before you go to bed, ask HOLY SPIRIT to minister to you: to remind you of your day, your words, your deeds, your mis-deeds, in particular. Ask HIM to help you to clean yourself up, to redeem the time (for the days are evil!), and to guide you into all truths, clarifying your wrong, and helping you to seek the genuine changes, that only come from genuine repentance.

Pray: Father GOD, I thank you for Your Mercy, Your Favor, Your Grace upon my life, our lives. As you continue to bless and heal our marriage, and me, LORD, bless and heal our relationship with YOU. Thank You for exalting YOUR WORD above YOUR Name. Help us, too, Father GOD, to lift JESUS higher. Glorify YOURSELF in all our lives, in JESUS’ precious, mighty, and glorious Name.

The following story “No Small Affair”,  was written and posted by Lysa TerKeurst on October 23^rd, 2008.

I have posted it for someone who desperately needs to read it today, before electing to enter a wrong relationship. I have also posted it for another who has started what needs to be stopped.

Today, having said it before, I shall say it again: the covenant love of husband and wife is the greatest relationship two people can share, other than the love between each of us and GOD! HE alone will fill every void in your life – we were created to worship HIM!

No Small Affair

Lysa TerKeurst

Devotion:

A few years ago, I sat with a beautiful young woman and watched the tears stream down her face. Six months before our meeting, her world was filled with so much — a loving husband, a healthy toddler, and fun friends.

Life was full. But some part of her heart still felt restless, unsettled, and a little empty. She started to feel detached from her husband and disappointed in their relationship. Why couldn’t he make her feel loved? Wasn’t he supposed to right her wrongs, fill up her insecurities, and give her a lasting feeling of love?

Then one day she met a man who said things she’d longed to hear her husband say. He made her feel pretty and witty. Soon, she rationalized that she’d never really loved her husband in the first place. A web of lies was spun. She fell into the arms of the other man.

She had not wanted to come to the women’s retreat. She knew it might make her feel guilty and she was past having any guilty feelings. She was just waiting for the right time to leave her husband and start over with the new love of her life. But her friends had started to grow suspicious of her pulling back from so many church activities. So, to appease them, she went.

Over the course of the weekend, the walls she’d so carefully constructed to keep everyone at a distance and her secret safe, started to crumble. By Saturday night, she sat down with me and confessed her affair. She desperately wanted to know how I felt so full of GOD’s love. She was now convinced it wasn’t the love of another man her heart craved; it was the love of GOD.

Chasing love outside the will of GOD invites the exact opposite of love into our lives. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is a picture of GOD’s perfect love. It is patient. It is kind. It does not envy… it is not self-seeking… it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth… it always protects… it always perseveres. Love never fails. The things we chase in this world are opposite from GOD’s love. False attempts at love will make us impatient, unkind, envious, self-seeking, resistant to the truth, reckless and temporary.

1 Corinthians 13 is not a description of what is inherently ours when we fall in love with another person. It is a description of GOD’s love. This kind of love can be ours as we become more Christ-like. It is never focused inwardly. It is never about what I’m going to get from another person. It is deciding that this is the kind of love I will give away.

I am challenged by this. Because our souls were designed for GOD’s fulfilling love, if we aren’t staying closely connected to HIM everyday, our hearts will start to feel empty. Restless. Unfulfilled.

Let us never get to the place where we think we are strong enough to not be tempted in this way. If we are all completely honest, we are only a few bad decisions away from the same kind of mess my sweet friend is now trying to untangle herself from.

While I have complete hope in GOD’s ability to restore her, the consequences of her chase for love will be severe on many levels.

The kind of love our souls crave will never be found in the things of this world. Lasting and perfectly satisfying love will only be found when we stop chasing the wrong kind of love and start living out the truths of GOD.

Dear LORD, help me rest in the security of Your love. Make me wise in how I guard my heart. May I never get lured into any kind of worldly, fake love. But if I ever start to get drawn away, GOD surround me with people who are bold enough to speak truth into my life. In JESUS’ Name, Amen.

Thank you, Lysa.

Now, short  as the story is, we get the point. Most wrong actions stem from wrong ‘thinking’: some from un-renewed minds, most from stony hearts.

Most people characterize lust, as they do jealousy, greed, and wrath – - as merely emotions, as if emotions are only fleeting thoughts or mood. But there is often a spirit behind these forces, and we find that when such ‘emotions’ dominate and consume people, they generate disordered hearts that often manifest, over time, if left unchecked – - without renewal, repentance, deliverance, and sanctification – - in heart diseases, spiritual, and then, physical. Think about some of those we know, who suffer the symptoms of heart disease, not all, no – but some. Remember their personal histories and herstories. Look at your own heart.

Are you secretly nursing bitterness, malice, resentment, jealousy or lust towards anyone?

Let us pray: Father GOD, in the precious and mighty Name of our LORD JESUS CHRIST, have Your way in my life. Divinely separate me LORD, from every thought, practice, habit, desire and relationship that does not give YOU Glory, in JESUS Name! Cleanse, renew, and sanctify me, indwelling me with YOUR HOLY SPIRIT that I may be used to YOUR Glory, in JESUS’ matchless and mighty Name. Amen.

SELAH*!

*SELAH – Hebrew for pause and  meditate on this.