Loved One in Prison

Consistent Inconsistency

2008-08-29T10:06:00.004-04:00

My husband and I have always said that the only thing consistent in the Florida Department of Corrections is inconsistency! I was reminded of this fact this past week as a close friend of mine shared an update on her husband.

My friend Jane's (name changed to protect privacy) husband has been in Flordia state prison for more than twenty years. He has been working on being paroled for the past five or so years. It looks promising every year they go before the parole board, but there is always that little "something" that they say they want to see him do over the next year and to come back next year.

He has been more than compliant, and is truly a changed man. He has surrendered his life to the Lord and has committeted his life to sharing the gospel with others. He has received many reccomendations from prison staff and other noteworthy people that think he should be paroled.

His parole hearing is always near the end of August and is held in Talahassee, FL. This year, something is different. The hearing is scheduled for the second week of September. We really didn't question why it is scheduled two weeks later than usual, but now we know why. God has a plan.

Just last week, only two weeks prior to the parole hearing, my friends husband recieved two DR's (disciplinary reports) and was placed in confinement. The DR's were for having unauthorized state property and lying to staff. Here is where the consistent inconsistency steps in.

My friends husband has been the overseer of a section of the "Lifer's" program at his facility. He has been given the task of teaching and training other inmates how to use the computer and such. So, with the permission of someone in the education department, he had a computer in his classroom. Keep in mind, there is no internet access. When the guards saw it, they questioned him on how he got it. He told them that he had permission from the education department. When the guards asked the education department, they lied and said he didn't. Hence the DR for the property and the DR for lying.

The completely insanse part of this is that the professor of the education department is on vacation and she could have set the record straight before the DR's were given. SO...here he is, sitting in confinement, contemplating the fact that this incredible injustice and inconsistency could rip the chances of parole right out from under him.

Fortunately, we serve a super humongous God, and He will make His will perfect! The professor has agreed to try to right this wrong upon her return and they are trusting the Lord to be glorified through the removal of the DR's or better yet, an unhindered parole date. We belive this is why the parole hearing is scheduled two weeks later this year. Had the date been the usual last week of August, the professor would not get back from vacation and have time to get things corrected before the hearing. God gave them a two week "buffer."

Here is an excerpt of a letter he wrote from confinement:

I pray that your spirit is at peace. it is only God's peace and comforting Spirit that can calm the storm of life right now.

Our program teaches honesty, character building, and responsibility, but in prison, sometimes telling the truth can get you lied on and in trouble. My character was formed before coming to this program and will continue to stand through this.

Unfortunately, someone in the program "lied" on me. The DR states that "a confidential informant advised the warden that John (name changed to protect privacy) had taken a computer from an education classroom and moved it to the FIU Classroom."

He goes on to say: This is a very trying time and much grace is needed, but I do believe the Lord is going to see us through. It's funny how things work, because all this week I have been thinking about my walk with the Lord and since being in this program how people have "watched" my walk from afar and haven't said much to me. But when they need prayer, advice, or just someone to talk to, they tell me I'm the only one they feel they can trust. So, I do what I feel I should as a Christian. People watch us when we don't think they are, even in little things.

I have taken a very strong Christ-like stance since being here because over the years, Christ has been preparing me for this program and how to deal with my fellow brothers, as well as face this very hour. All of this is in preparation for the work He has for me. Who says standing up for the cross is easy? The influence to compromise is always around me, but even in the face of things like this I must still stand. What happened is not against me, but Who I stand for and to Whom I belong.

As I read these words from his letter, I was reminded that even in the inconsistencies of life, we must stand.

I will be attending the parole hearing on September 10th and will share the results of the hearing in my next blog.

Please join with me in prayer for this dear couple as they wait and trust the Lord with their futures. Also pray that the full parole commission would have softened hearts and that they would grant parole so that he could be united with his wife.

A Real Vacation

2008-07-27T15:46:00.010-04:00

So we just recently returned from what I call "A Real Vacation." Let me explain...our last vacation was a whirlwind of driving from here to there and by the time we returned home, I needed "A Real Vacation." So, we went to Marco Island, FL for a week of NOTHING!

For the first time, we decided to vacation with another family. Our daughter was delighted to have a friend with her for the week, and I too soaked up the sweet fellowship with a dear friend.

Our week began with breakfast at Skyway Jacks and then a short three hour drive south to Marco Island. We couldn't wait to get to the private home we had rented with a pool and a dock on the water. The dock made it easier for my husband to keep his boat in the water for the week. The home was beautiful and large enough that our families were not crowded.

The guys fished I think every day! We had high hopes for lots of fish for dinner, and after the third or fourth day of fishing we finally had enough fish for a meal!!! Poor guys fished their hearts out! I have to say that a few days of waiting for enough fish was worth it! The fish tacos we made from the red snapper were delicious. I had never had them before, so my friend Ericka and her husband prepared them for us. Anyway...off the food subject that I love so much.

We spent lots of time swimming in the pool and at the beach. I went fishing a couple of times and my husband and I went to see a movie for our "date night." The Movies at Marco are not just a movie...you eat dinner as you watch the movie! It was a great night out for us.

The gist of the vacation was NO SCHEDULE...NO AGENDA!!! With a loved one in prison, my life was nothing but a schedule. There was always a phone call to make it home for, and sleep to get before a trip across the state for a visit. The weeks were spent preparing for the six hour visit we would have on Saturday. Even since my husband has been home, our lives have been nothing but run, run, run! I'm not complaining because the Lord has filled our lives with so many opportunities to minister to people. The facts are just that we are busy! We needed some time off.

The kids got a little bored with the lack of an agenda but by the end of the week I think they learned to appreciate the company of family and friends. My husband and I got to spend some long overdue time together. Funny how now that he is home, it feels like I don't get as much one-on-one time with him as I used to during those hot and humid visitations. We really got to know each other during those years of just talking. Even though I would never want to go back there, I thank the Lord for the time I had to grow personally and in my marriage.

I know that for some of you that still have a loved one in prison, this may not be easy to read. My desire is that as I share my life before, during and after my husband was released from prison, that you see there is hope. Our hope was found in Jesus, and he delivered us from our enemies!!

4th of July - Happy Birthday America!

2008-07-04T15:50:00.005-04:00

These days the 4th of July is a day of just relaxing for my family. Not that long ago this holiday meant an additional day of visiting with my husband in the prison visitation park. I especially liked it when the holiday fell near the weekend as this gave us consecutive visiting days.

Now my family is getting ready for a week long vacation (beginning Sunday) and today has been a day of last minute details. We took our boat out to test the new engine (not brand new, but new to us). Well, it wouldn't even go into "forward" gear. All we had was neutral and reverse! Smiles faded very quick like.

We reversed it back to the dock, loaded the boat up and came home.

Fortunately it was a simple fix that my husband was able to accomplish on his own. We plan to take it out for another test drive in the morning.

It is days like today that I have to remind myself what is was like when my husband was still incarcerated. I so quickly get frustrated and upset with him. I am amazed at how fast I have fallen into taking just his very presence near me for granted. I told myself (and him) when he was still in prison that I would never do that. Life is so crazy.

So as I celebrate our nation's Independence Day, I think of those families wishing their loved one could be with them to go to that BBQ, to see fire works and enjoy a day side-by-side.

GOD BLESS THE USA!!

Stories of Calvary Book Release

2008-06-29T00:12:00.007-04:00

For the past 18 months, by friend, co-worker and About.com freelance writer Mary Fairchild, has been working on publishing the book titled "Stories of Calvary."

Stories of Calvary (this is a link to the promotional video) is a compilation of 20 testimonies told by real people who testify to God's incredible power to transform lives. Readers will follow the journeys of ordinary men and women who were changed at the cross of Calvary when they met an extraordinary Savior, Jesus Christ. An alcoholic, a drug dealer, an unwed mother, a convicted felon, and a woman tormented by pain—each will share how their life was changed in a miraculous way. Our prayer is that readers will be lifted by the hope and assurance they discover within the pages of the book and become compelled to pass it on.

To learn more about Stories of Calvary visit Winepressbooks.com. (This title is also available at Christianbook.com and Amazon.com.) .

Our testimony is the last one in the book and is not the only one that deals with the topic of a loved on in prison.

My First Blog

2008-06-27T23:05:00.001-04:00

So I am new to blogging but am excited about the opportunity to share my thoughts with others about having a "Loved One in Prison." My hope is that this blog will be a place for people to come and not only receive hope and support but be encouraged through what was in my life, the toughest time.

I'm sure I will get into more details in future blogs, but let me give you a little bit of my story. As I am writing this, my husband is sitting on the couch next to me watching a movie. Praise God! He was released from prison just two years ago. I now have a burden for those that are in the midst of dealing with a loved one in prison.

My husband served 4.5 years in Florida state prisons for violating his probation. He was sentenced in January of 2002 and released in February 2006. My daughter was 18 months old at the time of his arrest. There are lots of little details leading up to this point, but I will save those for future posts.

I spent those 4.5 years living out of food pantries, working two jobs and living with roommates that were complete strangers. Those years were the toughest years of my life, but I can honestly say that God had a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God used this time in our lives to bring us to a place of complete repentance and dependency on HIM.

My husband and our now eight year-old daughter are living a life submitted to the Lord, committed to serving HIM and helping others. We both work full-time at our church Calvary Chapel St. Petersburg (http://www.ccstpete.com/) and my husband is the director of a ministry called The Most Excellent way (http://www.mew.ccstpete.com/) that ministers to those strugglig with life dominating sin. God is working in our lives!

Those years were abundant with trials and hardship. I spent many hours driving the state of Florida every weekend in order to make it to visitation. I was determined to keep my relationship with my husband alive, as well as my daughter's daddy a part of her life. I dealt with disgruntled guards, unjust punishments, ridiculous canteen prices, outrageous phone bills and an overwhelming loneliness. God saw us through and is continuing to show us his plan for our lives.

If you are reading this now, and have a loved one in prison, know that you are not alone. Please share you story with me and the others that need to know that they are not alone.

As we share our stories with one another, we find strength to carry on.