Lovely Bits of Chaos

A two-week notice and a blank page.

2015-12-01T19:13:00.001-07:00

I don't even know where to begin. *Deep breath in*

It all started in August (well from what the outside world could see anyway).

After 15+ years of working as a corporate sheep I dug up enough nerve to break away from the herd. I had enough.

I had enough of the fear induced atmosphere. It was a toxic prison where my manager was a neurotic game player that loved to play executioner based off whatever his favorite minions were feeding him that day. I never knew the rules and refused to be a snitch to match their spineless work ethic.

So I removed myself.

It was not an over night decision. It was months, hell it was years in the making.

But, yes it did come down to a few crucial months where my fear of the unknown kept me locked there with the hope that things would change. I don't know what I thought would change, maybe myself. I thought maybe I would go back into my numb comma, that maybe I could suck up being unhappy 40 hours a week for a paycheck and some vacation hours.

I couldn't. I couldn't go back into my comma, I couldn't suck it up. I couldn't breathe.

Very literal at times.

I was required to wear long sleeves everyday in order to cover some tattoos, and after one particularly long day, I got in my car and I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't breathe and it felt like my blazer was strangling me. I couldn't get it off fast enough and as I yanked at the sleeves gasping for air, I ripped one of the seems. When I finally got it off, I rolled the blazer into a ball and chucked it on the floor. I sat there for a few moments staring at my steering wheel trying catch my breath.

I was frazzled from the fight for oxygen and shockingly aware of what my next move needed to be.

I left that day knowing the end was near. I threw that blazer in the garbage and it felt good.

My first month not working was exhilarating! Each day I kept thinking it was a dream and I didn't really quit. It felt like a long vacation. I woke up early, worked out, hiked the canyons, wrote, a lot, cranked music and scrubbed every room in my house. I was finally doing exactly what I said I would do if I wasn't locked up in an office all day. I had endless energy and I was determined to 'kill it' each day. And I did.

Man, was I feeling good, but then came the burn out...

My second month was drastically different. I let my fears of "not knowing" take the wheel for a minute and it drove me straight into a depression. I was pissed off I felt pushed out of a job, I was depressed about not having another one even though I didn't want another one.

I chose sweat pants and 9 o'clock bed times over date nights and I was taking each " So what are you doing with all your free time?" question as an insult. I was rapidly withdrawing from the outside world.

The fact is, I was doing a lot with my time. I was allowing myself to feel mad and sad. It was the best thing I could have done. I proved a lot to myself during that time out. I re-built myself from the inside.

I got over being upset about what had happened and where I thought others felt I "should" be and gave myself the freedom to choose what I want to be.

I strengthened my internal middle finger muscle so it was strong enough to stand up to what doesn't serve my souls best interest. I learned that saying " Fuck that shit!" to whatever doesn't respect my worth is a very liberating and spiritual act for my spirit's well-being.

So here I am, just finished month #3 of not working ( for someone else) and I wake up each day feeling inspired by new projects regularly. I have notebooks full of ideas outlining art projects, poems, and adventures. All of which, you will see as each of their time comes.

I let go of others' opinion of me and what they "think" I should be doing with MY "free time."

*Life fact: None of our time is Free. How you spend it is your choice. You always have a choice*

I traded a 9 to 5 for a work when I feel inspired time schedule, which is usually from the hours of noon to 8 p.m. and then again at midnight to 3 a.m. , if creativity and insomnia strike at the same time.

Or I have the times when an idea pops up and all I have is a receipt in the glove box to scribble on so I don't lose it to the mess in my head before I get home.

Now, when people ask what I am doing with my time, I shrug my shoulders and say " Oh ya know, just living." And I mean that. I am actually living. I am seeing some things for the first time and I'm allowing myself to feel my way through situations so I don't repeat the bad and learn to follow the good. It's weird that I'm learning these simple tasks at 37 years old, but I don't know if I had the courage to comprehend them before this.

My life leading up to this has been one hell of a roller coaster ride. And somewhere along the way I learned to release my grasp on the panic bar in front of me and put my hands in the air. It's an awesome view from the top and a thrilling ride that has woke up my senses on the way down as I squeal and laugh with the wind in my face; I'm launched up the next hill.

And........ *Exhale*

I wasn't sure I was going to share this part of my journey here, but in order for you to understand me and know who I am, you have to know what has lead me to this crossroad.

While my actions may seem spontaneous to some, even crazy at times, my intentions are always cruel free and only have best interests at heart.

" I aspire to inspire before I expire."

And that my darlings is what I'm working on in my "spare" time.

Rock the boat. Make waves. Break the mold and then make a new one. Add sparkle generously.

Sara.

Stay tuned!

2015-11-17T17:56:00.002-07:00

Forgive my absence guys, there have been a lot of changes lately and I am trying to catch my breath.
Life is crazy. awesome, confusing, hilarious, and what a wild ride.

Living for the Lovely Bits in the middle of some Chaos.

Muah! Sara.

Sunday Sermon of Lovely Bits

2015-08-18T12:14:00.003-06:00

Several years ago, two women were talking about how they made their kids go to Sunday mass so they understood God. Then one of the ladies turned to my son and asked "Where does your mom take you to church?" To which my son proudly replies " Oh my mom says we don't have to go to a church because GOD IS EVERYWHERE!"

Sunday sermon of Lovely Bits,
Everywhere you look there is magic!
Wake up stressed? ...
So what!
You're blessed with another day to try
Stuck in traffic and running late?
Stop rushing, take a deep breath, and look around.
See a heart shaped cloud, monarch butterfly flutter across your windshield, or look up to an amazing sunset after a cruel day?
Those are gifts!
Just for you, in that exact moment.
And if you can just slow your roll and look all around you, you will realize that God is constantly trying to show you how amazing and special you are.
You can manifest beauty and love all around you!
But, it is YOUR free will to choose to see it or not.
~SFR

Caged

2015-08-18T11:51:00.003-06:00

This blazer has turned into a strait jacket
I’m suffocating
My smiles are returned with scowls
The knives in my back are abnormally painful now
And my blood is spilling everywhere
These florescent lights are burning my eyes
The walls are closing in on my soul
I want to scream, but my throat is tied by your invisible noose
I can’t breathe…

Rainy Day Reading

2015-08-18T11:50:00.002-06:00

There is something about the rain..... The smell. The sound. The way it clears the air. I love it all.

For those of you that like to lock yourself in while it pours outside, here are some great reads.

Did you know its a New Moon? Here are some things to look forward to and rituals to try.

I am IN LOVE with this manifesto!!!!! Fuck That! Try it! It feels so empowering.

Hop on over to The Joy Junkie and sign up for the free ebook on how to unleash your badass self and find that "utopian-unicorn-shitting-glitter" kind of joy!

Here are 5 reasons why being YOU is so cool. It's your life. Live it your way.

Click here to see how post-it notes were meant to be used. Kindess is free! (After the cost of post-its :)

Sleeping naked is good for you!

Keep statistics away from your dreams! Get your daily #Truthbomb here. I love these daily inspirations to kick ass!

Okay that is enough reading, go outside and dance in the rain!

XOXO

Thank you 2014!

2015-08-18T11:47:00.004-06:00

Thank you 2014!
It's the last day of a crazy year. That's all I can say to excuse myself from not posting much this year.

2014 has been a year of many lessons.
I learned who my friends are and which ones are not, Todd and I learned that losing some things are actually blessings and we have built our life from the ground up and know what makes us happy.
I learned to take a deep breath and wait some things out. Things always work themselves out and if I don't have an answer right away I am patient enough to pray it out.
I learned to no longer be a door mat at work. I can be a team player AND stick up for myself at the same time. That was a hard lesson learned, but I am learning to love my job again because of it and that is a great feeling.
I learned that I am completely happy going places rather than buying things.
My soul is rejuvenated and my heart is happy when I travel. Even the small over night trips have added much more to my life than new clothes or shoes. Although I did get a few new pair of boots this year that totally fuckin' rock!!
I learned that not buying that big expensive house last year doesn't matter because who I live with is the only thing that matters and my boys make even the most crowded rental a home and I am madly in love with my family and the space we share.
I learned that slow and steady will build a business and GREASY BIKER® does continue to grow and all the business decisions we made this year can't be replaced and will make 2015 that much easier and fun.
Every year I write a long resolution list full of things I want to do, I lost 2014's list, but what I can remember, I didn't stick to it.
I didn't have a lot of focus this year. I kind of winged it. I have loved it all, but I am ready to focus on some goals and am excited for all the spontaneous things too!

Here is the beginning of my 2015 resolution list:
Build GREASY BIKER®
Build Lovely Bits of Chaos
Travel
Play hard
Read
Speak Less Hear more
Stay healthy & active
Laugh a ton
Hug more
Kiss often
Stay focused & be present

I am sure I will add a few things at the last minute, but you get it. I appreciate the curve balls that life throws, but I plan to create more of my life rather than allow so much to happen. That is the point of all of this right? Love the chaos and make it your own way!

Peace out 2014!
xoxo Sara

Skinny Bitches VS Real Women. Really?

2015-04-22T09:09:00.003-06:00

It's time to clear the air on an issue between us ladies.
Let's talk about weight. Yup I am going there.
Every single woman has a struggle within herself that has something to do with weight.

Having said that, it is NOT okay to call a woman Skinny Bitch. It is not a compliment.
In no way EVER is it okay to refer to a female as a "Fat Bitch" so why is it expectable to call a less curvy woman a skinny bitch? It's not.
(I decided to answer that for you in case you thought it was multiple choice)

As I stated above, ALL women are focused on their own weight.
A woman that looks physically fit doesn't just wake up like that.
She busts her ass at the gym, counts calories, stays away from tasty treats, and focuses her energy on staying fit. She spends much of her free time staying active just to maintain her physique. It's a lot of work. She does it for herself.
Does she deserve to be called a Skinny Bitch? Why is she a bitch at all?

We all live different lifestyles and one is not is better than the other.
Each woman decides what is best for her and her happiness.

I used to like the song "All about that Bass" until I read another blog post pointing out that the song turns "Skinny girls" into something that is bad.
The video itself is disrespectful to what the "curvy girls" consider the "skinny girl"
The curvy girls look pretty and are dressed up while they portray the "skinny girl" as trashy.
What's the point? Weight doesn't define our character as individuals.

Why can't women be proud of their bodies without slamming other women to make themselves feel better?

When it comes to weight and how a woman is built, lets leave the word Bitch and Real Woman out of it.
We are all REAL. We can all be sensitive about ourselves.
Call me a bitch when I stand up for myself or say I'm a Boss Bitch for taking care of my own and working my ass off to care for my family, but don't call me a bitch because the way I am built.

As Real Women, we need to respect each other and understand the struggle each one of us faces on our own. Stop living in competition with one another and start encouraging each other.

xoxo

Sara

Thank you 2014!

2014-12-31T11:51:00.000-07:00

It's the last day of a crazy year. That's all I can say to excuse myself from not posting much this year.

2014 has been a year of many lessons.
I learned who my friends are and which ones are not, Todd and I learned that losing some things are actually blessings and we have built our life from the ground up and know what makes us happy.
I learned to take a deep breath and wait some things out. Things always work themselves out and if I don't have an answer right away I am patient enough to pray it out.
I learned to no longer be a door mat at work. I can be a team player AND stick up for myself at the same time. That was a hard lesson learned, but I am learning to love my job again because of it and that is a great feeling.
I learned that I am completely happy going places rather than buying things.
My soul is rejuvenated and my heart is happy when I travel. Even the small over night trips have added much more to my life than new clothes or shoes. Although I did get a few new pair of boots this year that totally fuckin' rock!!
I learned that not buying that big expensive house last year doesn't matter because who I live with is the only thing that matters and my boys make even the most crowded rental a home and I am madly in love with my family and the space we share.
I learned that slow and steady will build a business and GREASY BIKER® does continue to grow and all the business decisions we made this year can't be replaced and will make 2015 that much easier and fun.
Every year I write a long resolution list full of things I want to do, I lost 2014's list, but what I can remember, I didn't stick to it.
I didn't have a lot of focus this year. I kind of winged it. I have loved it all, but I am ready to focus on some goals and am excited for all the spontaneous things too!

Here is the beginning of my 2015 resolution list:
Build GREASY BIKER®
Build Lovely Bits of Chaos
Travel
Play hard
Read
Speak Less Hear more
Stay healthy & active
Laugh a ton
Hug more
Kiss often
Stay focused & be present

I am sure I will add a few things at the last minute, but you get it. I appreciate the curve balls that life throws, but I plan to create more of my life rather than allow so much to happen. That is the point of all of this right? Love the chaos and make it your own way!

Peace out 2014!!
xoxo Sara

Thankful Thursday

2014-09-25T15:26:00.001-06:00

So happy it's Thursday! And my honeys birthday! And the dogs birthday! It's been a busy week at our house.

I have spent some of the time being productive playing with some art and while doing that, thinking of so many other things to create. That is the awesome thing about creativity, the more you use it, the more you have.
Aside from the few 90 degrees days we have had, Fall is here! Leaves are changing and pumpkin spice flavored/scented shit is everywhere. *choking on pumpkin coffee*

Thanking my lucky stars for:
snowboard season pass! ~ cooler nights ~ roasted chili peppers, a whole potato sack full ~ my gifted witch bird pen. Ha! ~ celebrating my loved ones birthdays ~ new episodes of Modern Family ~ feeding the birds in the back yard and hearing them sing first thing in the morning ~ a clean dog (this week at least) ~ Blue Moon Pumpkin Spice beer, YUM! ~ cuddling with kiddo ~ beautiful rides up the canyon ~ blasting Tim McGraw and singing with the windows down ~ BLT's & tomato soup kind of days ~ bacon ~ listening to Todd & Christian sing together. Every time :)

XOXO

Sara

Hello stranger!

2014-09-12T20:19:00.002-06:00

For the love of! How long has it been since I have written? Don't answer that! Too long!
In my defense…. Damn it! I don't have an excuse. I just simply haven't made time.

Tonight, I finally had some free time to myself while the boys were out. I got home from work and did the usual of cleaning up around the house, making it livable for the weekend so we could do nothing productive and destroy it again.
When I was done I stood in the middle of the house with nothing to do. Nothing at all.
While I am at work I can think of so many other things I want to do and all of a sudden I have the time to do it and I don't know what it is. It was a moment of panic. Where did all those creative ideas go?

I found myself sitting on the edge of the ottoman ( because if I actually ended up on the couch I would hate myself) watching Sex in the City reruns. As much as I love those women, I couldn't stand watching others live their lives (make believe or not) and not do something with mine.

God Damn it Sara, get your shit together!
So here I am. *Waiving hand excitedly with cheesy grin plastered on my face*

Recap time:
This Summer went by fast. Really super fast. It was full of fun swim days with Christian, camping with friends, motorcycle rides across state, and building the business. I feel like we fit a lot in those 3 short months also pushing many plans to the back burner due to lack of time.

Welcome back to real time:
Lately I have been thinking of all the things I could get done if I didn't need to sleep. I mean, REALLY! I need time to work, build my own business, have fun with my son, date nights with my husband, go to concerts with friends and still have energy to bath the dog because the poor guy stinks!
I am a 8-10 hours of sleep a night kind of girl. On top of that I am NOT a morning person.
I am working to break the cycle and fit more ME time in. Woo Hoo! Now, if I could just get out of bed in the morning....

I am excited to say that I am going to start working on my photography again. Say cheese!
I am working on putting together a display with a theme. I will share more as I get further along, but I will say the theme is going to push me personally to do things I don't normally crawl out of my shell to do and that is both scary and thrilling.
"You have to do things you have never done to get things you have never had." Right? Right.

So I sign out on this Friday evening wishing you a thrilling weekend.
Go do something new to you! Push yourself to grow in ways you never dared before!

Sara

Phenomenal Woman

2014-05-30T18:47:00.001-06:00

In the wake of the great Maya Angelou passing away this week I have really been thinking about what it means to be a strong woman. I am continuously inspired by Maya Angelou's writing.
I can feel her passion and the love she holds for herself in her words. She didn't say things to put other women down to lift herself up, she spoke from her heart to herself and in turn spoke to every other woman's heart.

It makes me think of my own writing. As a writer, sometimes I sit with a blank page in front of me wondering what others want to hear. I'm going about it all wrong, I should be writing what's in MY heart and what I want to hear.

Cheers to ALL of the Phenomenal Women! May we love ourselves, create our own happiness, and always say what is in our heart.

Rest in Peace Maya Angelou

Respectfully,
Sara

Merci

2014-05-15T12:40:00.001-06:00

What a great week. I have spent every minute I can outside and I feel like the shackles of Winter are gone.
Last night I filled all of our pots outside with beautiful flowers and cool cactus. I am excited for warm nights in the yard. My next goal is laying sod, planting the vegetables, and getting a trampoline.
On date night, Honey and I hopped on our pedal bikes and hit Downtown. It was an amazing night filled with a lot of laughing, tasty beers, yummy food, and alley way adventures. I have lived in Salt Lake City all my life and it's amazing the things you don't notice until you are out of the car and traveling down roads and sidewalks you don't normally frequent. So fun!

Loving: the smell of potting soil~ standing in an aisle of flowers with a large shopping cart~ hearing birds sing just before the sun rises ~ Lots of love on Mothers Day ~ My Kiddo, every single day ~ when the gym is empty ~ my favorite ripped Levis ~ celebrating a great friends 50th birthday ~ laughing so hard my cheeks hurt ~ 42 days left until GIRLS TRIP! ~ Dusting off my camera and being interested in photography again ~ staying focused and building an Empire

Love is Light
Sara

Merci

2014-05-08T11:51:00.001-06:00

I have decided to change my "Thankful Thursday" post into Merci. Simple and pretty.
It has been a long week full of work and rainy nights.
I am so grateful it was warm last weekend for our motorcycle field trip. We had a blast and it was fabulous to get away with my honey for a night.
I enjoyed turning friends into better friends, making new ones, and laughing until our stomachs hurt.

Now I am racking my brain for a thoughtful Mothers Day gift. I have this issue every year since my mom buys herself what she wants when she wants. So, I am left with being creative and scouring consignment shops and craft stores for the perfect thing that represents my love and appreciation for her. I have not found that perfect thing yet.

I'm in love with: wild horses running along the highway ~ waking up laughing with my husband ~ the smell of Spring rain ~ MY MOM ~ shopping for big hats for vineyard hopping in SF ~ filling up our Summer calendar ~ Modelo with a lime ~ our mantel full of light candles ~ night time prayers ~ flower shopping ~ being kind even when others are not ~ surprise lattes from co-workers ~ the boys I live with. Handsome, lil monster, & the fuzzy one.

Love is Light
Sara

Baby Boy Bakery

2014-05-06T10:03:00.002-06:00

I recently stumbled upon Baby Boy Bakery and I was instantly in love with this little family.
The little boy, Ryan, with his fire red hair exudes happiness in every picture.
This past weekend he was taken from his loving parents way too soon. It is heart breaking.
As a parent I can't understand the cosmic plan in any of it and I ache for his parents.
You can go to #redballonsforryan on Instagram to see many amazing photos of this little guy and his parents.
I pray for his parents and all who love him.

Photo from @babyboybakery #redballonsforryan

Respectfully,
Sara

Thankful Thursday

2014-05-01T16:07:00.002-06:00

Only 56 days until my girls trip! Yes I am counting the days.
Yup, that is pretty much all I have been thinking about this week. It turned cold and wet just in time for me to get off work last Friday and until yesterday, I have been stuck inside. Blah!

The good news is: it is now FINALLY sunny and warm (warm; being outside without a jacket and NOT freeze) and Honey and I are heading out on a one night road adventure this weekend on the motorcycle. It will be our first get away this year and it couldn't come soon enough.

I am so grateful for: Gossip Girl marathons, I accidently got hooked ~ snuggling with kiddo on cold nights ~ girl trip planning GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN ~ clean sheets ~ new eyeliner that kicks ass ~ Wasatch Apricot Hefeweizen ~ picking up new GREASY BIKER order, totally BADASS new design ~ paying off a loan ~ planning Mothers Day gifts ~ working out until I'm nauseous ~ kiddos funny personality ~ celebrating birthdays for a good friend ~ yummy Thai food ~ busy work weeks

Love yourself first and everything else falls into place!
Sara

Thankful Thursday

2014-04-24T12:46:00.001-06:00

This month is flying by! It's been a month of warm sunny Spring days and freezing, wet, locked in the house kind of days. It is getting increasingly hard to stay sane on the cold days.
This has been a month of extreme vacation planning and a lot of soul searching.
I am getting increasingly restless during my 9 to 5 and I'm ready to spread my wings and breathe some fresh air.

The beige walls are suffocating and covering my tattoos with blazers is getting tiresome.

J'aime kick ass work-outs ~ warm evening motorcycle rides ~ watching kiddo rock it in his school play, LOVE HIM! ~ falling asleep listening to rain ~ wishing on stars ~ no makeup days ~ feeding birds in the backyard ~ butterflies are now fluttering about ~ learning new things ~ catching up on some reading ~ believing in myself ~ nightly ice cream treats ~ teasing Jake ~ dirty feet & messy hair!

Love every bit of the adventure!

Sara

Thankful Thursday

2014-04-10T14:48:00.000-06:00

Well holy shit! Look at me finally posting something. I apologize for the vanishing act.
Working full time and building a business has taken all my extra time and brain cells. I feel I have a good balancing act going on now, so I can focus on writing for myself again. Phew!
*Wiping sweat from forehead*

Late last year I took a break from my Thankful Thursday posts, but it keeps me happy and centered to write a good list at least once a week on what I am grateful for. Big or small.

Going outside without a jacket and not being cold!~ bar hoping on our pedal bikes~ being silly with my husband~ knowing who my friends are~ Summer vacation plans~ Girl trip booked!, San Francisco here we come!! 77 more days~ laughing on the phone with my dad~ singing funny songs to the dog~ smelling all the flowers/trees in bloom~ afternoon beers on a sunny patio~ Wasatch Ghost Rider, my new favorite beer. Delish~ American Horror Story marathons ~ book shopping on Amazon ~ the many flower boxes my dad built ~ the sound of a lawn mower and smell of fresh cut grass

Don't forget to be awesome!
Sara

Girl Power!

2014-01-16T16:15:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that in my mid-30's I still experience catty female bull shit.
I don't understand it. I never have.
If you are my friend be my friend, not my competitor and definitely not my saboteur.

I don't know if it's because I am not a girly girl although I do love to dress up but, I am not a tomboy either, even though I love no-makeup days and I'm not afraid to get dirty.
I am socially unclassifiable. Is that a word?
I don't think I click with any one group 100%
But, stating that, isn't that what life is about? Variety?
I have been thinking about this topic a lot lately and this morning I read THIS great post about "Girl Code".

There are certain things women should be able to count on from most other women.
Judgement and competition should be far from any woman's list.
You know those insecurities you have? Sit down with any woman and I mean ANY woman and you will find she has them too. They may not be exactly the same as yours, but she has them.
Life can be challenging enough without making women you know ( or don't know for that matter) your enemy.
I'm not saying make every female your best friend, because we all have different morals, interests, & beliefs, so we like to surround ourselves with like minded people. That's normal, but just because you don't understand or know another woman is no excuse to condemn her.

I loved a lot of the "codes" the ladies put on Gala's list. What are some of yours? What could you open your mind and heart to and possibly make a good friend out of an unexpected stranger?

Embracing my feminine spirit!
Sara

Beautiful Awesome Magic!

2014-01-05T13:39:00.002-07:00

These are the 3 words I choose to live by.

Beautiful because there is beauty everywhere. It's your state of mind that you see things. If you are down, a rain storm can depressing, but if you look at things for their beauty, you would appreciate the smell of rain, electric lightning, and the rainbow that will follow.

Awesome because so many things people don't notice or don't think twice about are gifts from the Universe. A sunset, your online order came a day early, your child surprises you with a huge hug and a compliment. See what I mean? Countless awesome things happen during your day, you just have to appreciate them.

Magic because that is my word for people/places/things that the Universe surprises me with. Magic is what happens when you believe and love with your heart and look for the good in things. Did that promotion come from nowhere? When in fact you have worked hard at something and the desire to excel fueled a fire in you that a higher power responded to. That's magic. Have you ever thought about a song that you haven't heard for a really long time and in no time at all, you walk into a store and it's playing? That's Magic. It comes in so many forms. But, I feel it comes from the heart and God is answering it's request. Big or small.

With those 3 words in mind daily I would like to work on the following list in 2014:
write freely
dress up more
speak less hear more
take pictures
smile
read 2 books a month- 1 for fun & 1 for learning
run a 12 minute mile
buy less do more
travel
get organized
meditate
let go of past hurts/negative feelings about people/events

I am excited about this list because if I go at each goal with Beautiful Awesome Magic in my head & heart, I can't lose.

Cheers to an awesome year!
Make it what YOU want.
xoxo Sara

Wrapping up 2013:

2013-12-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

Dun dun dun another one bites the dust....
I don't know why, but that song just popped into my head.
I think I was just possessed by Freddie Mercury.

Each year I work up a list of resolutions for the next year. It usually takes me about a week. I like to really focus on what I am going to commit myself to.

As I was writing 2014's list I have been thinking a lot about this past year. Remembering all the things I loved, stressed about, and what I would do differently. Hind sight stuff. I want to take those lessons into this next year. In the past I have just put what I didn't like behind me and moved on, but I think I would benefit from taking those lessons with me and making something amazing happen from it.

2013 was a great year for knowing myself & letting go of hurtful feelings.

It was a year of making several new friends, and knowing when to let go of ones that were no longer. I stopped wasting my energy trying to figure out why or why not people do/act the way they do. It's an exhausting circle that goes nowhere.
I make time for the people that matter to me and I expect the same. Period.

And although I have been saying this for years, I was reminded of it again:
ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART!
I underlined that shit.
Because if you don't, the Universe will find a way to send you in that direction anyway and it may be painful at first because it won't make sense. You will "think" you should be doing this one thing, but your heart says another, then BAM The Universe reacts to your feeling not your doing.
Thanks again for that....

I have learned how good it feels to stop comparing myself.
If I see someone that has something I like or is in better shape than me, I am motivated to put my wants into action and get it myself.
I think of them as the Universe reminding me that if someone else can have/do it, so can I.

I end this year with a deep breath and a smile!
Sara

Christmas Cheer!

2013-12-24T09:47:00.003-07:00

Merry Christmas Eve!
I remember waking up on this day as a kid and being so excited I couldn't handle it. We would bounce off the walls from the moment we woke up. It probably drove my mom crazy and now I think I know why my dad insisted on going to work.

The last few weeks, Christian has grown increasingly excited and some days he can't plant his butt in one spot to save his life. I love it. It makes me excited seeing him light up.

I will spend today going over everything we have bought and wonder, "Is it enough? or too much?"
Maybe one more trip to the store....

Once the excitement of Christmas is over, I like to spend the next few days going over my resolution list for the next year. As soon as it's complete, I will share it.

I wish everyone a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

xoxo Sara

Laugh lines

2013-12-19T13:37:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it's the dirty Winter air, lack of vitamin D, or I just smile a lot, but I have noticed new lines on my face this past few months and it seems they are showing up in an alarming rate.

I have no issues aging gracefully, but I also believe that wrinkle creams are there to help with the grace of it. I have a few gray hairs that I proudly leave alone and an age spot that I do not cover with foundation, but the wrinkles... Oh the wrinkles, I am not sure about.

I love that people rarely guess my correct age however, my lines are showing up in places that are visible when I laugh & smile. It's hard to be critical of something that is a sign of happiness, right? Do I fight them or embrace them?

I think age is beautiful. I hope to live a long long life. I want to blow out candles on my 90th birthday. And beyond.
So why do these lines make me feel a little insecure? I don't have an answer for that yet, but I intend to focus on the bright side and be grateful my lines are a sign of the joy I feel and the laughter I love.

I need this book!

A smile is the best makeup any woman can wear!

xoxo Sara

Dirty snow & dreaming of running away

2013-12-12T19:06:00.001-07:00

It is only the 2nd week of December, but Utah is frozen and dirty. The snow that came in last week froze and the pollution has covered the city in a layer of filth. I hate this part of Winter. The part that makes my hair frizzy from the cold, the part where my skin is dry, pale, & flaky, and the part when all I can think about is escaping from here.

I want to go some place warm. Feel the sun on my face and possibly some sand on my feet.
This time every year, Todd starts pacing the house talking of moving back to California and how awesome it would be.
The thought of picking up and going somewhere new is inviting. Somewhere that is warm year around, new places, new faces, starting a job that excites me, and creating new habits. All of it.

I get this way this time of year. I start thinking about New Year's resolutions, what I loved about this year, and what I want to do/change next year. Traveling & adventure are at the top of next years list. We put it aside this year and it made us think hard about what makes us really happy.
That is, going on spur of the moment adventures and having a flexible life to be spontaneous.

This next 3 weeks will be spent thinking about & writing my resolutions, saying Good-Bye (figuratively & maybe literally) to what/who doesn't bring loving energy into our lives, and saying many Thank yous to everything amazing that happened in 2013.

Gotta go turn up the heat and drink another Airborne.
Sara

My lovely bits of chaos

2013-12-08T19:36:00.000-07:00

My snow angel

Snow angel Peanut

Jake getting white washed by his GF. His face say it all.

Lovers tromping in the snow

We had our first good snow storm last night and woke up to a beautiful sunny day.

Cheers to sunshine after the storm!

Sara

A glass of wine & Stevie Nicks

2013-11-15T19:14:00.002-07:00

It's a rainy Friday night and I sit at the counter with a glass of red wine and Stevie Nicks singing in my ear. Not the real Stevie Nicks (I'm not that cool), but her on Pandora.

Lately my days have been filled with GREASY BIKER business and moving our lives in the direction we dream about. Pulling back on the offer to buy a house has been so positive for us and we are very excited about the way things are working out. (Insert silver lining here)

The truth is, it was always there, we just lost sight of it and went in a direction we thought we wanted even though it wasn't in line with our dreams. So the Universe stepped in and was like " Oh hell no! Listen to your heart and follow your dreams Yo!"
My Universe is kind of gangster, but straight to the point. Yes?

So we took that message serious and got back on track with the life we love.

Last weekend was also our first wedding anniversary. We also celebrate our first "meeting" anniversary since we have been inseparable since. The fact is, I am more in love with Todd today than ever. He is proof to listen to my heart, stay focused and the Universe will work it out for you.

A small story:
I met Todd once before our "meeting" anniversary. It was several months before actually. We crossed paths at a party. He caught my eye instantly. Those blue eyes. Oh those blue eyes......
I nudged my friend and gave "the look" in the direction of blue eyes and then made my way over to him.
I don't remember the exact conversation other than introducing myself, getting his name, and then he was interrupted by his phone ringing.
I walked away with a crush and my friends and I left for another party.
Nothing happened that day between us because the timing wasn't right. For either of us. For me, I was dedicated to spending that Summer working on ME and there was still some work I wanted to do.
Two months later we met. Again.

*I firmly believe the Universe set up that first meeting, so when we were ready we felt like old friends running into each other again.
That is how it was. Instant best friends.

My baby turned 9 years old this week. 9 YEARS OLD people! His last year in the single digits.
I am truly blessed to be his mom and I am grateful for every single thing about him.
I couldn't have asked for a smarter, sweeter, funnier, healthier, friendly, lovable kid.
He is a joy to be around and he is my best friend too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SQUEAK!

I have a new phone that takes pics again, so follow me on Instagram for all the latest shenanigans.
*Don't worry I don't take a lot of pictures of the food I am about to eat or have eaten.
** Unless I am truly impressed with some meal I am about to eat or have eaten, in which case you can bet money, it had nothing to do with the food, but the drink that went with it. Feel me?
I will do my best to keep those to a minimum.

Listening to my heart so the Universe doesn't bitch slap me
Sara