.: Loveureka | Love, Sex and Relationships :: A Quest and Celebration of Love and Life :.

Does Love Need Reason?

noreply@blogger.com (Loveureka) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 13:12:00 +0000

Once a lady when having a conversation with her lover, asked:

Lady: Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?

Man: I can t tell the reason, but I really like you..

Lady: You can t even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?

Man: I really don t know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.

Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!

Man: OK..OK!!! Erm... because you are beautiful,

Because your voice is sweet,

Because you are caring,

Because you are loving,

Because you are thoughtful,

Because of your smile,

Because of your every movements.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man s answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident
and went in comma.

The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the
content:

Darling,

Because of your sweet voice that I love you...

Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like you

Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your smile,

Because of your every movements that I love you..

Now can you smile? Now can you move?

No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now,

There is no reason for me to love you anymore.

Does love need a reason? NO!

Therefore, I still love you...

Source : Anonymous

Are You Always Right?

noreply@blogger.com (Loveureka) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 13:08:00 +0000

Sometimes, if not more often, you relationship(link in) is fail caused by your own mistake. It could be hard to admit it, but you have to look upon yourself before blaming someone else. After all, we are all just human. It should be our destiny to make mistake. You must take any necessary initiative to consider what you might have done to contribute to your failing relationship.

You are not always right, are you?

Your partner could be your best juror to judge whether you are the one who typically insist you are right or not. If so, you might be jeopardizing your relationship. You are not helping your relationship, your partner and even; yourself.

How to measure it?

It's easy. One of the methods is by remembering the time you had argument or discussion with your partner. Did you seem to point out that you are right? Did you insist whatsoever that your partner is wrong?

Let's think about this for a second

However, saying that you were right probably isn't going to solve the problem. Talking louder when defend your argument is not going to make you more right either. On the contrary, how would you feel if your partner did the same to you?

Unfortunately, when you tend to split to be the right party, you are distracting the discussion from the real issue. Your relationship is not going to be better.

There are always some kinds of way to have "better fight". All you and your partner have to do is just setting up some rules. A set of convention of several couple provide each other sign when the fight is starting to be unhealthy. Others discover that bring to a close of conversation is better. Then, breathing a few deep breaths to calm. You can also leave the room for a second to gather yourself and then attempt to lesser your voice when you come back.

At last, your main task is just to COMMUNICATE.

Mr. Gorsky

noreply@blogger.com (Loveureka) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:32:00 +0000

It's a joke but it's also mean something.

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only said his famous "One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks - usual communication traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut; however, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian nor American space programs. Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant.

On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question: "When I was a kid, I was playing baseball with my brother in the backyard. He had hit a fly ball which landed in front of my neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As I leaned down to pick up the ball, I heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Based on True Fact

More joke here

A Few Questions for Your Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Loveureka) — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:15:00 +0000

Is it true that the absent of fight somehow prove your relationship healthy?

Well, that would be too simple.
The definition of a good relationship has evolved since the embracement of new knowledge. Today, most people want more. Following are just a few signs of a healthy relationship.

PASSION
After a long time of togetherness, are you still on fire to your partner. This question is vice versa. Are you sure that your partner still have spark on you? Again, are you sure? When did you last time check it out? Sure its not your subjectivity?

LAUGHTER
It's easier to laugh alone. But to make 2 person laugh together is not easy at all. The question is, after sometimes, can the two of you still laugh? Can both of you share the same sense of humor? Laughter is not just a simple indication for a relationship; it's also play a huge role. It works day by day, while you were watching movies, seeing something funny or just hearing some funny stories.

TOGETHERNESS
How much time do you spend with your partner? Do you still motivate to set aside time just to be together? How about friends and interests? Do both of you share each other?Some couples spend a lot of time together because they really enjoy it, while others spend a lot of time together out of fear of being alone.Are both of you fine when you are not together?

TRUST
Trust is everything. Without it, there would be no harmonious relationship. That's why, you should ask yourself, is there any trust between two of you?
Does trust keep solid even when the relationship getting more difficult? The level of trust itself can be up and down through time. So, how does each of you maintain the trust? You can't say that it's just flow. Specific rule must be taken to somehow find a way to keep trust is still in the air.

UNDERSTANDING
The most important aspect of understanding could be how you listening. Listening is not easy as you thought. People tend to talk more and to listen less. By being a good listener, we also learn to understand and accept.Now, the question is … Doing you each feel heard, understood and accepted? Can you share anything including your secrets with your partner?

Pic is "Creation of Adam", by Michelangelo

What’s Wrong with Keeping Old Stuff from Past Relationships?

noreply@blogger.com (Loveureka) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 18:54:00 +0000

Most people probably held onto something that represents moment in time together with somebody they loved for even when the relationship was ended.

Keeping those stuff could have provided as a reminder of the relationship lost. If you do this, you could just find a way to punish yourself or perhaps it was with the expectation that you would reclaim your relationship and renew your love. Sometimes, we just don’t know about letting go.

Anything that your past mate/spouse gave to you could represent the moments you shared together with the beloved one. All presents and gifts are potential to set you up for holding on. Even, without our knowledge. These can include old love letters or cards they gave to you, pictures, movie ticket stubs from a movie you saw together, or ridiculous stuff that you thought you and your last love would be the only one to understand.

Sometimes, you’re living in denial, but just don’t realize yet. You always make a justification for your action. Even when those stuff taking up space in your home and worse, in your life. Even after knowing there was no hope of the two of you ever getting back together. Well, at least you may have simply convinced yourself that you're just a hopeless romantic as to why you have held onto such things.

If you are among that kind of person who is still holding onto anything from a past relationship, it is important to make an inventory list. Use your spreadsheet software if you need to. Write down how many of those “romantic” stuffs you still have. And for the most important, from how many past relationships? Because it will show you, is it the person or the romantic sense that matters?

After you have a clear picture of YOU, then you can realize how you might be holding onto your past. If you're holding onto the past romantic session this manner, you're almost certainly doing it in other ways as well.

These stuffs actually maintain a connection to those lost people for as long as you are willing to hold onto them. But, you may already know that, all you need is someone told you. Eager enough to break the wall that surrounds you and shout at you, loud and clear, you’re living in denial. For you to know, those stuffs are like physical representations of the connection that still present between you and them.

Why is it important to break our connection with our past?

It’s easy. As long as you still have these “weird” relations to someone from your past, whether you know it or not, you can never truly commit to a future relationship. A part of you is still wrapped up in your past with people you're no longer even with. You’re incapable to be loved since you are not FREE. At all...

Pic is "Young Woman Receives Gifts from Venus and the Three Graces", by Botticelli

Dating: Awful Men You are Supposed to Avoid

noreply@blogger.com (Loveureka) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 18:13:00 +0000

For all time, women cry, unable to understand why her boyfriend acts imprudent cause everyone around them embarrassment. And even, in several cases, some women truly weren’t conscious of the boyfriend’s bad manners. But, in other cases women recognize well in advance they just expected that he would stop doing that.

The majority women are not brainless and naive for the selections in men they make. Just a number of them in fact had no thought their boyfriend meant bad news for them. Other person may ask “How could she get herself caught up with him anyway?” The reasons for some women to stay with a man are because of love, status, money and/or power. While others may have stayed because they didn’t want to leave her child/children left “unfathered”. Unfortunately, still many women feel they can change the situation. Shape a different man. Later, they realize, these efforts just never work for some men. Sometimes, she will have to get up and stand up. Take her left self-respect. Convince herself, this relationship must stop, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW !!!

These advices might not suitable for women who haven’t yet had a baby with the “bad man.” Because, for a “mother” woman, the consideration must be deeper. Much deeper.

The Foreman
In his eyes, no matter what, you can never do anything right. He is often critical. Everything just gone wrong under his surveillance. At first, you justified his negative personality with after apology. But excuses time is over; you have a right to enlighten yourself. Tell him about how you feel about him. You can just tell yourself that things will get better. He could be asking a time that he is making an effort to change. Again, you can wait, but time is ticking.

Liar-Liar
At first, you may catch him in a few white lies. Just because you had found that his excuses seemed like persuasive; then you let him get away with them. As time goes by, the dishonest has greater than before and the excuses have become least if not at you’re. Your choice of reactions may: take some approach to. In this way, you just stop taking his lying lightly. You let him know that this kind of trait will not accept any longer.
But, what if he chooses to continue lying? In that case, you will have to say that you must end the relationship for good.
Once you have made a choice that you are giving up and leaving, some efforts must be taken, depend on your relationship condition. You may provide excuse not be contacted by him. There are several ways: change your home and cell phone number, spam and block his email address, stay away from your and his friends about your relationship situation. Sometimes, a man is a man. When you think that he will get better when you go back to him after you left, his two-faced behavior is still incurable.

The Drunk/ Drug Addict
The simplest question, is he fun, angry, or depressed while he was with you?
How many times have you seen him, most accidentally, using drugs or drunk? Does his behavior related with your daily relationship problems. OK. You’re still having a chance afterward. You can consider getting counseling from experts. You can have supports from family and friends who have all been influenced by his negative habits. But, if he constantly rejects assistant, then for your own sense and security, leave him alone. Do you want to show up in TV or papers for being a victim of physical abuser?

Playboy
This kind of man is always passionate to make contact with other woman, beside his official mate. Incredibly, he will make use of cell phone, email, friends and acquaintances network in order to find other sexual target. He is very protective of his cell phone and his computer; if you tried to check either it maybe password protected. His friend may also covert his “secret mission”. But, luckily, most of men are stupid enough to leave a trail of evidence. It could be a business card in his pocket, restaurant receipts, hotel charges, cologne or jewelry gifts, read and sent email that sits in his account that he forgot to delete. It could be anything. But it’s not unique at all. There is always a general pattern. The only thing we should notice is the repetition of the pattern. His repetitive pattern could be based on particular time and situation. It’s your sense that can evaluate this recurrence pattern. So, just don’t blind, deaf, or worst, SENSELESS.

The Kleptomaniac
Maybe it’s too late to realize. Better late than never. He was just around when things go missing. Initially, you didn’t guess him as a suspect. You may think those items had just been misplaced. When you ask him, he could be blaming someone else for taking them. So far, you’re living in denial. You decline your own feeling that he was the one who made off with your dad’s tools, took your favorite CD, helped himself to some cash sitting around, and other important items. Well, it is time to come up with a plan, set him up. But, he is not stupid either. The kind of plan you come up with can’t be easily figured out by him. You can believe in him anymore. The longer you stay with him, the more stuff will go missing.

Pic is "The Birth of Galatea", by Raphael

The Lying Problem in A Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Loveureka) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 16:01:00 +0000

When we were children, our mother always told us NOT TO LIE. It was a bad thing to lie; it was not decent and proper either. But, today, it seems that more and more people are doing it. Lying without thinking the consequences. From your friends to your local political leaders, it looks like everybody is trying to extend the truth in order to make them either look better or to protect someone from harm. Is it true that-for example white lies, can be justified? How about in relationship? Can we enhance our level of relationship through lying?

The Definition of a Lie

However, lying is sometimes ambiguous in its application. People tend to make its meaning and connotation blurred. But in the simplest manner, lying is not telling the truth. Period.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t stretch the truth a little? Even, that doesn’t mean that you can’t lie a little? Lying is not just avoiding telling the truth as opposed to actually not telling it. If someone doesn’t tell someone something, are they lying or are they just avoiding telling the truth?

How about your own definition? Does everyone creating their own definition of a lie?

Probably, there is one truth about lying. Everyone has their own way of looking at it. In your relationship-serious one is better, what you and your partner feel about lying? How often do you notice it in your daily regular conversations? Do you have any tolerance when come to lying to your partner? Will you be okay with little lies or white lies? Do you think that the “justified” lies would be necessary in a relationship? Did everyone do it? In reverse, how comfortable are you when your partner had a stretch definition of lying?

The Question of Honesty and Trust in Relationship

As we know, lie can actually lead to another lie and another and another. It’s like a snowball effect. A little lies, or a white lies, can end up with further lies that is unable to say little anymore. By the end of conversation, it can seem like there are more lies than truths. And in that case, a relationship that uses little lies over and over again might not be as truthful as it seems. When you’re caught in one lie, you can start to seem as though you can not be trusted to tell the truth. In a relationship, this can be the beginning of the end.

Trust is somewhat essential in a healthy relationship. In your romantic and personal relationships, you need to have a sense of trust between each other. You need a guarantee that the other person will be there for you and that they will tell you the truth. And, only the truth. This is the case where little white lies become dangerous since lying begets distrust. A relationship that permits even a little lying can start to fall apart once concealed lies is exposed. For some part, it might not seem like a big deal to take an idea of little lies. But, as time goes by, a person would not feel bad anymore when “he/she had to” lying about something bigger than “usual”.

To Be Honest in All Subject? OK. This might seem idealistic view. But, even when it may be uncomfortable, the easiest thing to do in relationship to build trust is to start by unraveling any lies. I mean, “ANY”. Because anyone can caught up in his/her own lies, someway and somehow.

However, start telling your partner what you may have been holding back is never easy. To be honest is like a hard work in a relationship. But, being more truthful in the future is in no other word, WORTH IT. When your partner asks about rigid opinion, you can always say that you’re rather not say than lie about what you think. There is always other way…

Pic is "The Agony in the Garden", by El Greco