Low-Fat Kat

Nose to the Grindstone

2013-04-15T22:40:00.001-04:00

Newly motivated by both the spring weather and some fun events on the horizon, I’ve picked up running again.

“Again,” you say?

Yeeeeeah, I haven’t run since the Color Me Rad event a few weeks ago.

I had a blast with my group and beat my only “running” 5K time, even though I walked a good bit this event (my only goal was to beat my previous time, so I’m 100% pleased since I was dealing with an injury AND bronchitis).

I’ve been going to physical therapy for quite a few weeks for a low-back issue that sidelined me earlier this year and slowed me down a good bit during that event. So I picked up today with Week 3 Day 1 of C25K and pushed through pretty well (Jason picked up with Week 5 and made it his bitch…I’m a little bitter that I’ve lost so much endurance!).

Then this evening I took the dog on a 2-mile walk/hike at a local park. I wanted to do more but don’t want to expend all my motivation at once. We’ve attended several events lately, weddings and a big equestrian event, that I’ve been looking forward to for awhile. While I had a fabulous time at each of these with our friends, it has made me realize how uncomfortable I still am with my weight, mostly in a few trouble areas that really give me grief.

I’m almost back to my lowest weight that I reached around the time of Lofton’s wedding, but I’m ready to keep moving down. It’s great to have an external motivator of an event or a dress, but I’ve been thinking a lot about my future lately and realize how badly I want to feel strong and healthy not only for myself but for the people I love.

So….here’s to hoping I keep on keepin’ on!

Anti-Munchies Trick

2013-02-18T19:28:00.001-05:00

Tonight all I want to do is eat. My solution?

Eating peas…or corn…or beans…with chopsticks. I get the satisfaction of putting something in my mouth (thatswhatshesaid) but it takes foooorrrreeeevvvverrrrrrrr and staves off the obsession that could potentially lead to a binge.

Crazy? Yep. But it works for me! Do you have a trick for beating the munchies?

Valentine’s Date In

2013-02-17T22:43:00.001-05:00

Instead of braving the crowds on Valentine’s Day – a holiday neither of us are crazy about anyway – we decided to stay in and do one of our favorite things – cook!

Jason picked up a couple of giant filets an we made this awesome coffee rub for them:

While they were finishing in the oven, I dumped a bag of frozen brussels sprouts in the pan after I steamed them in the microwave. here they picked up some of the pan drippings and got a little crispy.

I also was craving some mushrooms and onions, so I sautéed them with some olive oil, some Worcestershire, and some red wine.

One of my gifts to him says it all:

Hopefully you Muggles will get the reference! What did you do this Valentine’s Day?

Domestic Date and Backtracking

2013-02-09T13:49:00.001-05:00

Friday night we wanted to stay in and cook but had to run a few errands beforehand. We were out a lot later than we realized we’d be, so we decided to do a quick-ish dinner instead of starting from scratch like we initially intended to.

First off, my boss gave me a piece of salmon from her lunch that she no longer wanted (not as weird as it sounds). I knew I wanted to make a salmon cake appetizer with it, so I threw some stuff together:

the salmon, a couple tablespoons of light mayo, some fresh-grated pecorino romano cheese, some red onion, adobo sauce, and this quinoa mix:

In hindsight, I should’ve just gotten plain quinoa and added a smidge to the salmon, because this ended up being mostly quinoa with a little salmon inside – I had to add some extra stuff to help my cakes stick together.

Some cornmeal, soy flour, and cornstarch later, I got ready to pan-fry.

They turned out pretty tasty, and I have a better idea of how I’ll fix it in the future!

While we cooked, we sipped a super-adult beverage.

Nothin’ like some red wine with fiber. Mmmm-mm. The main course was tilapia stuffed with crab – a quick-grab entrée from the grocery, since we were eating late already. I also roasted some zucchini and Roma tomatoes in the oven and added a little more cheeeeeeeese on top.

It ended up being a really good combo and was ready relatively quickly! And it allowed for leftovers for brunch.

We went for a run this morning, and instead of trying to push myself for 30+ minutes or 3+ miles, we backtracked to Week 6 of C25K. While I struggled a fair amount, the intervals were much easier on me and allowed me to fight through the trouble instead of just getting discouraged, overwhelmed, and giving up like I have been. I feel a lot more confident after today’s run, and we “celebrated” with some scrambled eggs with salsa and leftover salmon quinoa cakes.

I’ll actually look forward to the next run now that I’ve come to terms with backtracking and know I’m capable of succeeding at the intervals!

Running Woes

2013-02-06T21:12:00.001-05:00

So what have I been up to lately? Some experimenting in the kitchen with the fella:

(turnip greens with bacon),

(scallops with homemade pesto),

(“hot crash” sweet potato with cayenne and spices).

But I’ve also been doing a lot of running. Jason and I have completed the Couch-to-5K program (my sophomore effort) and have been working on building endurance. Over the Christmas holidays, I developed some crazy upper respiratory bug that sidelined me for a week or two, and I haven’t been the same since. I’ve had a couple good runs, but I’m having to take waaaaay more breaks than I was in late December, and my endurance just isn’t there.

Today was the last straw; I was really in need of a stress-busting GOOD run, and I couldn’t make it 5 minutes without walking. Then, every time I tried to pick it back up, I got side stitches and stomach cramps. I made it about 2 miles of unplanned run/walk intervals, but in between being a huge crybaby and pushing myself too hard, I hyperventilated every time I picked up the pace and finally gave up.

So what does one do in this situation? Bitch and moan on social media, of course. I finally broke down and asked for advice on Facebook, bracing myself for the influx of “try this” and “you’re not doing this right,” even though I thought I had exhausted all efforts. I did receive a lot of suggestions I’ve tried, but I think I need to give those options a more fair shot now that I’m REALLY concerned and motivated to fix this.

One of the most intriguing pieces of advice I received was to build back up slowly after being away from running. Seems obvious, right? But I didn’t realize it was to this extent. The gal who shared her story said that if she has to take time off from running, she has to start back building up a quarter mile or so each day, starting with a mere 0.25 miles. After my December crud was cured, I didn’t build back up to where I had left off, I just tried pushing to get back to that point. There have been a few days since where I felt really good, but for the most part I have to stop and walk a good bit due to fatigued lungs and legs or tummy pains.

Another thing I’ve tried to focus on is eating the right thing at the right time, and the only way to figure it out is trial and error. In order to avoid a huge tummyache, I’ve been eating a more brunch-like meal, running on my lunch break any time around 1-3pm, then eating lunch or a heavy snack in the afternoon at work. I’m still trying to find the balance between too much and too little food beforehand, because apparently I’m very sensitive to both. Screw trial and error, man.

If you’re a runner, did you have any issues like these getting restarted after taking time off? What’s your best solution for side/stomach pains? I’ve heard “two breaths in, one breath out” from a couple of people – that seems difficult to focus on, but I’ll try it!

Kale and Sausage-Stuffed Squash

2012-10-18T20:02:00.001-04:00

Mom had the day off yesterday and wasn’t able to pick up her veggie co-op delivery, so her coworker brought it to me at my office.

And I had first dibs.

One of the most enticing offerings was a big ol’ bunch of kale which I decided I wanted to cook down and stuff into a sweet winter squash.

Last time I roasted an acorn squash, I severely undercooked it (trying to impress the boyfriend’s stepdad, no less) – a mistake I was sure not to repeat. I cooked the halves face-down for about 30 minutes at 400° after spraying them with oil and sprinkling with salt and pepper.

In a sauté pan, I browned some low-fat sausage and then sautéed some garlic and onions along with chopped zucchini.

Once these veggies had cooked down a little, I added the chopped kale followed by a couple of chopped plum tomatoes and some kosher salt.

It may sound crazy, but I thought some sweetness would do well with the squash, sausage, and bitter kale, so I added some maple syrup before piling it all in the upturned squash and baking about 15 minutes more.

At first I thought I’d be able to evenly distribute the stuffing and squash with each bite, but I had a feeling I’d finish the innards before the squashards, so I scooped it all out and ate it in one ugly mash (spared y’all the picture of that).

This was an AMAZING combination! I think it’d be good with some parmesan or mild cheese like mozzarella, but it was perfect enough without! What “thrown together” dishes turned out better than you’d hoped? Any weird-sounding combinations that surprised you? Any that didn’t work out so well? I once added a nut brown ale to shrimp and grits and served it to tailgate guests….don’t ask what possessed me to try it – I’m sure you can guess how that turned out.

Fall Foods

2012-10-05T16:59:00.001-04:00

My mom and I went to a class last week at Providence Hospital geared toward breaking down barriers to eating healthy foods. They served us a meal made from antioxidant-rich foods and gave a presentation on nutrition and healthy cooking. Not much of the information was new to us, but we enjoyed trying a few new dishes!

The first course served at the class was Ellie Krieger’s Curried Butternut Squash Soup which I duplicated the other night for Jason.

We had a couple of cooler-weather days that got me in the mood to make some autumnal dishes, and that butternut squash soup was right up my alley. I didn’t have any Greek yogurt, so I substituted some sour cream (not as good) and added a couple splashes of balsamic vinegar. Amazing.

I also roasted a couple pork tenderloins on a bed of onions and apples. Over that I poured a mixture of apple cider, apple cider vinegar, dijon mustard, whole grain mustard, a touch of maple syrup, cinnamon, nutmeg, sage, thyme, and salt and pepper. Then I slathered a little of the whole grain mustard on top of the roast before covering the dish in foil and baking it for about 25 minutes at 375°. Then I removed the foil and baked it for another 25-30 minutes. The pork turned out super moist.

A wonderful fall meal without too much effort!

What kind of dishes get you in the mood for fall? I’m craving some CHILI with cornbread and cheese…

A Taste of Charleston

2012-10-03T19:46:00.001-04:00

I’ve just come from a long weekend in Charleston, full of food, beer, and laziness…my idea of heaven. Jason and I hit up quite a few local places and also went to the Southern Living Taste of Charleston Food Festival on Sunday where we stuffed ourselves silly.

The festival was held at Boone Hall Plantation – incidentally the same place Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds were married not long ago. I want to go back and tour it another day!

Next time we do this event, we’ll bring a couple more people – we came away feeling stuffed, and it cost a little more than we had bargained for. Especially when we really only wanted a taste of a bunch of things, we could definitely spread the cost and tastes with friends!

First thing we had was Fried Pimento Cheese Sticks with Pepper Jam from the Boone Hall Farm’s Market Café. Fried cheese? And pimiento, at that? Yep.

Next from Poogan’s Porch, we tried a Pimento Cheese Deviled Egg and Confit Fried Chicken. I didn’t dislike it, but it wasn’t my favorite.

Cuban sandwiches are a fave of mine, so I had to sample the one from 82 Queen. Hell yes.

From Pearlz, we had the Pumpkin Cobbler. Not bad, but it would’ve been a much better base for some kind of ice cream as opposed to the standalone star.

My favorite dish by far was the Tomato Pie from Carpentier’s Wine and Dine Deli. I licked the pan…er, at least nibbled off the baked-on cheesy bits. No regrets.

From J.Paul’z, we tried a Smoked Brisket Slider with Blue Cheese Cole Slaw and Truffled Mac ‘n’ Cheese.

I think this was from Cork? Apple Bread Pudding.

Tsunami had sushi…

…and crab wontons

And as we were walking back to the car, we happened upon a gentleman giving away little chocolate cupcakes with a dollop of chocolate and mint frosting. Forgot where they were from…

Did I mention there was beer? Because there was. My favorite sample was Blue Moon’s Caramel Apple beer…so good!

Later that evening, we met up for dinner and drinks with some girlfriends of mine and their significant others. While we waited for a table, we had drinks at Closed For Business – I loved the atmosphere here! His (some kind of fancy bourbon) and hers (Peach Porch Lounger by New Belgium):

Dinner was next door at Monza – voted one of the best pizzas in the nation. I had the Count Louis pizza…

…and Jason had the Carbonara pasta.

I came away feeling gluttonous, but I had a fabulous time! I literally lost 5 pounds on the scale on Tuesday because of all the water I was retaining…yikes. Now to get rid of the other 3 or so I didn’t pee out…

What food festivals have you been to lately? What’s your favorite Southern fare? Shrimp and grits is definitely a fave of mine! I had it a couple of times but was kinda lazy with the camera this weekend.

Random Gourmet

2012-08-29T20:45:00.001-04:00

It starts with a craving for scallops and access to Pinterest and ends with two recipes (Scallops with Orange Caramel Sauce and Prosciutto-Wrapped Scallops) and a bowl full of collards.

Oh and some wedges of roasted acorn squash.

With a side of needy cat.

I had almost forgotten how much fun it was to dirty up all my dishes! Thank goodness for Pinterest – all I had to do was search for scallop recipes and I found two relatively simple ones with a touch of fanciness. We prepared half the scallops with the sweet caramel glaze and half with the Cajun rub and prosciutto wrap. Awesome.
Rounding out the meal was something sweet – good old roasted acorn squash with cinnamon and Splenda brown guar – and some bold collard greens with prosciutto, onion, and balsamic vinegar. Such a random assortment with such well-balanced flavors!
What was the last craving you used as a recipe search term? What else did you make to go alongside your dish? Was it random or did it all mesh pretty well?

To new beginnings

2012-08-23T22:51:00.001-04:00

I’ve began this post in my head a hundred times, and there’s no right way to start it. So, I’ll just fill you in on some highlights since my last post (in COUGH **JANUARY** COUGH) and hit the ground running. Sound good? Good.

For my 28th birthday in February, I finally had the Oscar party I always wanted. I think I’m going to make this a yearly tradition – it was so much fun to sit around and talk about the fashion! (Pretty much couldn’t care less about the movies)

Mom was honored with a pretty fab award in April and I got to see my parents all gussied up.

I’ve had some wonderful times with some very dear friends of mine and their daughter Miss G…

…and we celebrated her first birthday in early August!

I’m so thankful my friends have been there for me through thick and thin; they mean the world to me.

And within the past few months, I’ve fallen for this guy who seems to have been made for me:

Jason and I are working together to improve our health and both love experimenting in the kitchen. He’s part of the reason I’ve got a renewed interest in reviving the blog, so expect to see more of the two of us here (he has strict instructions to make me post at least once a week…hopefully more).

So now that we’re pretty much caught up to speed, here’s where we hit the ground running.

My co-worker gave me some home-grown pears last week, so I developed a craving for the “classic” balsamic-pear-blue cheese combo. And thus, we made a salad out of it. Jason seared some flank steaks…

…while I whipped up some quick candied pecans (melted some butter and Splenda Brown Sugar Blend over medium heat before adding pecans and some kosher salt).

For some added sass, we used applewood smoked blue cheese – effectively bacon-flavored blue cheese. Wow.

And I doused the whole thing in balsamic vinegar before inhaling it. It definitely hit the spot!

I may have some more pears coming my way in the near future – what’s your favorite thing to do with them? Preferably something on the savory side? Fill me in on your biggest news since I dropped off the face of the blogosphere (yet again)!

Treating myself differently

2012-01-12T18:38:00.001-05:00

I’ve had an somewhat out-of-the-ordinary week where I’ve been semi-stressed at work, and yesterday was particularly trying. A few weeks ago, I could’ve seen myself getting off work and going to buy a DiGiorno pizza and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and “unwinding,” but last night I decided to treat myself in a healthier way. I haven’t had salmon in awhile and was craving it, so I stopped and got one piece:

I had bought this brown sugar & pecan mustard at a local gift shop to include in a Christmas present for someone, but I had forgotten about it and found it last week. So I kept it. I’m a bad person.

But hey, it was fantastic on the salmon!

I’ve always disliked guacamole, but I had an AMAZING batch at a local restaurant a few weeks ago, so I’ve been stuck on it ever since. I grabbed a container last night that is nowhere near as good as the local stuff, but it’s not bad. I thought the little label under the lid was cute:

Do you “treat yourself” by cooking something nice after a crazy day or grab something quick from the store or a restaurant? It’s so easy and tempting to grab something quick and comforting!

Organizational Bug and Pondering about Bingeing

2012-01-09T20:29:00.001-05:00

This cute blue stone crock I just got from World Market makes everything taste better, not that my gumbo needed it, in my humble opinion.

Sunday was spent taking down Christmas decorations and packing them all away. I’ve been bitten by the organizational bug lately, for better or worse, and am committed to getting rid of clutter and finding an appropriate place for everything. It felt good to take 4 giant boxes of stuff to Goodwill and finally get them out from under my nose – I’ve been working on those boxes for weeks!

My eating habits were stellar last week, which makes my actions this past weekend all the more troubling. I pretty much binged on chocolate and ice cream Sunday evening – a rebound effect from eating sensibly during the week? A cry for help due to self-pity and loneliness? I have no idea, but I’ve journaled about it and hope to nip it in the bud next time I see myself headed in that direction. I did have wine Saturday night at a friend’s house and ended up eating dessert there…wondering if eating sweets made me crave them again?

Have you cut out sweets only to find that you no longer crave them? Have you ever successfully pinpointed the reason for wanting to binge and stopped the action in its tracks?

Weekend Ritual

2012-01-07T13:07:00.001-05:00

I might be bummed sometimes about being single and lonely, but when I think about it, I’ve developed some weekend morning rituals and enjoy not having someone get in the way of them. Either on Saturday or Sunday (sometimes both) I’ll wake up and make an omelette or frittata with tons of veggies.

Then I usually sprinkle it with cheese and smother it with Texas Pete and eat while watching Fashion Police. I love my little ritual.

After brunch has settled, Maddy and I usually hit the trails for a nice long hike/walk. Today, however, we made a pitstop by PetSmart for a new leash. She’s got a bad habit of pulling on her leash (yeah, it’s mostly my fault for not keeping up with obedience training), but this new shorter leash really helps, and it’s got padded handles and a loop very close to her harness/collar for when I need to keep her closer (passing people on a trail, keeping her from jumping into icky muddy water, etc.).

Incidentally, does anyone have a favorite tried and true dog training book/method?

Now to bathe and gather some stuff to take to Goodwill before coming home to watch a movie and pack away Christmas stuff. Do you have any weekend rituals you really look forward to?

Dinner and a Movie

2012-01-05T22:54:00.001-05:00

I stayed up late last night watching the Orange Bowl, and no…I don’t want to talk about it.

Point is, I’m about to paaaassssss ouuuutttt but I wanted to share an amazing recipe I just tried. I was prepared to have a few guests over for dinner but sadly plans had to change last-minute. My mom, however, gladly made the trek to the other side of town for an awesome homecooked meal and a movie – Bridesmaids!

I made Anne Burrell’s Roasted Pork Loin with Apple Cider and Chunky Applesauce and it turned out PERFECTLY. I forgot how much I liked cooking and trying out different recipes – definitely want to keep this up!

So a few days into gluten-free, my tummy is already less mad at me. Looking forward to seeing how long it’ll take before a bunch of other troubling symptoms clear up. If you’ve gone gluten-free, how long before you started seeing big differences in various symptoms? And on that note, I’m about to fall asleep.

Well hello there, 2012.

2012-01-03T20:42:00.001-05:00

How was everyone’s Chrismakwanzakkuh? Mine was a little TOO good. I’m so in love with my Christmas tree, I’ve promised it I won’t take it down until this weekend (hey, leaving your tree up til Epiphany is a thing, right?).

Between hosting a cookie swap of my own…

…and baking my annual cookies for the neighbors…

…and enjoying plenty of holiday dinners with many loved ones…

…and attending the wedding festivities of my cousin…

…I’m ready to say goodbye to the 10-15 lbs I’ve picked up since October. An embarrassingly high amount, yes. It’s definitely easy to let one pound creep by at a time until all of a sudden you’re in over your head. I never want to get back to where I was three years ago.

I’m ready to be back where I was two months ago and to keep on going.

And to lighten the mood…here’s a picture of my parents’ cat, Murray, wearing antlers.

So what am I doing to fix my predicament besides bitching on teh interwebs?

I’m logging my food (and exercise, if I ever do any!) on loseit.com – does anyone else use it? I got my mom a FitBit for Christmas, so she and I are using LoseIt since it syncs with the FitBit.
I’m making sure to drink enough water during the day – I was pretty slack about it over the holidays.
I’ve gone gluten-free. Now, I’m not doing it to lose weight – I’ve been diagnosed with gluten intolerance but haven’t done much about it. Over Christmas I was pretty much eating whatever I felt like – cookies, pasta, breads – and I am paying dearly for it. GI issues, inflammation and achiness, depression and mood swings, congestion – my major symptoms have gotten so much worse over the past month, and I’m ready to scrap it all if it means not feeling like a slug anymore. And, admittedly, it has the added benefit of me cutting out a lot of carbs and really paying attention to labels for a change.
I got an iPad for Christmas and have actually been reading some health and fitness blogs on it lately – something I haven’t done in awhile! I tend to leave Tweetdeck open but have a hard time jumping into conversations like I used to. Bottom line, I’m trying to surround myself with positive healthy influences.
I still work for the weight loss clinic, and I’m trying to spin my weight gain around in a positive way. I need to get healthy for me, of course, but I also want to set a good example for the patients. Trying out new recipes and keeping in touch on social media sites is not only helping me help the patients, it’s helping me help myself [cue sappy after school special music]. So, yeah…the Twittering and the blogging and the Facebooking…that’s as much as I’ll say, since I tend to say “I’m baaaack” then disappear.

So, as trite as it sounds, I’m developing a list of resolutions for 2012 that I’d like to make public for accountability’s sake. They’re not ready yet – I want to really put some thought into this and make sure I’m setting the right goals.

Did you set any resolutions this year? Did you effectively “reign it in” over the holidays, or are you suffering from overeaters’ remorse like I am?

Two out of three ain’t bad

2011-11-28T23:04:00.001-05:00

Awesome decision #1 of the day: running a mile at lunch – even when it was misty – and really pushing myself when I wanted to stop (I took only a couple walk breaks)

Awesome decision #2 of the day: picking a killer butternut squash/chicken/apple cider vinaigrette salad over pizza for girls’ night.

Poor decision of the day: using girls’ night as an excuse to bitch about dudes and eat Ben & Jerry’s. Hey…2 awesome decisions start to outweigh one bad one, right? And damn, it felt good to stretch my legs and lungs.

External Motivators Be Damned

2011-11-27T21:42:00.001-05:00

I’m pretty much the queen of Leaving Them Hanging, eh? The wedding happened. The dress fit.

And a good time was had by all.

And ever since then, I’ve been eating like crazy - a no-holds-barred sort of free-for-all for the past month. To the tune of at least 5 pounds, to boot. So…I think that’s a huge sign to me – external motivators to lose weight only make me rebound and “rebel.” And now I’m getting sucked into the Holiday/New Year rationale traps: “the holidays come once a year!” and “I’ll get through the holidays and then buckle down.” I KNOW this is bullshit, and I try to convince others of it on a daily basis. Is it so heavily ingrained into society that I’m falling prey to it? Is it just an easy out to be lazy and not watch what I’m eating? I’m also REALLY thinking about going gluten-free, but I know this is the wrong time of year to do it. However, like with weight loss, now is as good a time as any, right? I’ve been better over the past month or two with keeping a food diary, but it’s not consistent. During the work week I’m about 80% on track with writing everything down, but over the weekend it all goes out the window, which is an easier excuse to eat crap.

With the quarter-life crisis I seem to still be falling prey to, in addition to stupid irrational girl emotions that are taking over even when I’m consciously trying to squelch them, I find myself wanting to take up running again. But I’m scared. Scared my endurance won’t come back (I can jog a mile now with a few walk breaks), semi-scared someone driving by will kidnap me or yell something at me…these are IRRATIONAL fears, so I just need to get my ass out there and do it.

I’m also at a weird place where I LOVE being alone. I LOVE my home and doing my own thing every day, but when I have the urge to hang out with people, the handful of good friends I have are rarely available. So I’m at that point where I’m desperate – online dating, meetup.com, anything to meet new people. But with these 5 pounds and recent blaaahhhh feeling, my confidence is shot.

Somebody call the waaahhhhmbulance – this post went to a dark, pitiful place!!

The “Dress Doesn’t Fit” Fit

2011-10-18T21:24:00.001-04:00

So, Lofton’s getting married. Not news. When trying on and ordering my bridesmaid dress, I was so used to being waaaay too big for the sample size that I refused to try it on, especially since it was at a posh little boutique where the staff and clientele usually turn up their noses at big girls. The gals there measured me and found my bust to correspond to a size 12 (yaaaaay Itty Bitty Titty Committee!), my waist was a size 14 (ok, well…that’s…not as awesome), and my hips to a size 16/18 (screw every tape measurer that ever was). I was resigned to ordering the 18 and altering the dress to fit me everywhere else, but after some coaxing, I finally tried on the sample for a laugh.

It fit.

A size 12 fit like a glove.

Holy crap.

I was delighted every day after ordering my size 12 dress and took great pride in knowing that ALLLLL of the bridesmaids were wearing the same size. While they were probably cursing having to wear a bigger size than they’re used to, finally I was roughly the same size as my friends. I haven’t celebrated a milestone like that in a good long while.

So then the dress I ordered came in. I don’t know if the sample had stretched or if I had gotten cocky in the meantime and expanded (“wooo, I’m the same size as my friends, bitchezzz! I’m “normal!” I can eat whatever I want!!”), but I was afraid to even attempt to zip it up for fear I’d bust a seam.

And thus began “The Dress Doesn’t Fit” Fit. For the past 6 weeks I’ve been dieting and bingeing off and on - never a HUGE binge, but remarkably more splurges than I usually have, and always premeditated. And in this Fit, I’ve realized something about myself. When I’m up against a deadline, I’ll procrastinate until the last minute. I’ll find everything BUT that thing to do. I’ll drag my feet and fart around until it’s crunch time, then I’ll put my nose to the grindstone…and then find something that needs reorganizing…and then cram the work in really hard until it’s done, half-assedly and usually the wrong way.

Is it the thought of an externally-applied deadline that makes me rebel? A deadline at all? I did it in school, I’ve done it at work, and now I’ve done it with this stupid dress. I tried super-hard to lose weight, FINALLY started losing again and even saw the 170s on the scale at work – a scale notorious for weighing me 3-5lbs higher than mine at home – only to bounce back and eat a bunch of crap I don’t need out of arrogance, celebration, or boredom.

So my theory is, the thought of having to do something “not fun” makes me want to do “fun” stuff all that much more (“hurry and have fun while you still can, before you can’t anymore”). Ideally what I should do is weave the “fun” and “not fun” together to create a constant baseline of “…eh,” thus increasing my chances that my habits and activities will be more consistent and less yo-yo-ish. Right? That sounds so boring, but probably more realistically, I just shouldn’t stray too much from that baseline, either in restricting or indulging. I’m not expected to be “…eh” all the time, but I shouldn’t go so far into one extreme versus the other.

Have you seen that concept of “from one extreme to another” or “rebelling against a deadline/goal” in yourself? Have you successfully been able to beat that way of thinking, or do you still struggle with it?

Here’s Your Update.

2011-09-29T20:04:00.001-04:00

Nope.

A not-so-sweet experiment

2011-09-27T22:30:00.001-04:00

Hey, guess what these are:

Well, guess what they’re supposed to be….

Yeeeeah, that’s my first attempt at a Splenda-based meringue. Probably not possible, but I had to see for myself. I’ve never made real meringues before, so I had no idea what I was after to begin with. Now I can say with certainty that this recipe didn’t work. Maybe it was the fact that I used straight Splenda instead of the Baking Blend, or maybe because my vanilla had gone bad, but they turned out flat, brittle, and tasted like salt. Plus, this recipe only required 15-20 minutes in the oven…that’s not typical, right?

Here’s an action shot of my 2nd batch made with this recipe from the Splenda website, though I did add about 2Tbls of real sugar to it, too.

Looking better already, huh? These babies have about 20 more min before I turn off the oven and leave them overnight. Stay tuned…

Viva la Vista and Newish Hobbies

2011-09-25T23:20:00.001-04:00

I’ve got to fit into a bridesmaid dress in about 4 weeks, and as a result I haven’t been doing a whole lot in the kitchen as of late. A lot of meat ‘n’ veggies and not much else…not very blogworthy. Though today was an occasion for bending the rules – Viva la Vista – a food festival in downtown Columbia.

It’s late September, officially autumn, and it was about 90° today. I really wanted to try some nontraditional fare, but I wasn’t in the right mindset to stand in 90° heat and eat shrimp and grits. Instead I went for comfort food (after I got a Shock Top upon arrival while waiting on my friend). First I got a mini salted caramel chocolate cupcake from Cupcake.

Next was a bananas foster pudding dessert from Liberty Taproom and a 2nd beer – a Southern Tier Harvest Ale.

About now was when I started thinking to myself, “hmm…maybe I should have some ‘real’ food instead of just sugar and alcohol…” I wanted to try something I’d never had before, but none of the items sounded good since I was so uncomfortably hot and sweaty. Chicken salad on half a croissant from Nonnah’s it was.

We walked the entire length of the festival again before I decided I wanted a good ol’ fashioned slice of pizza from Mellow Mushroom.

And what better way to wash it down than strawberry cheesecake gelato from Peace, Love, & Rocky Roast?

I’d have been more than fine without that pizza, but it just looked (and tasted) soooo gooooood. I wish I had been in more of a mood to try off-the-wall stuff – there was a veggie sandwich and some blue cheese fries that looked to die for – but the weather today just SUCKED for a food festival in September. Still, I’m looking forward to it again next year – it was a neat concept and a great way to check out some area restaurants I’ve never tried before!

In other news, I’m knitting again thanks to this chick:

She’s modeling the little shrug I made her, but it’ll take awhile until she’s able to fit into the sweater dress:

And I recently went pottery-painting with her and her parents. I like being artsy again!

I’m also into geocaching lately…do any of you do it? Have you ever met up with a geocaching group or do you go on your own? I’ve had some GPS issues on my phone, but when it actually works as it should, it’s fun! What kinds of artistic things do you do to keep your mind busy?

How Katherine got her Groove Back

2011-09-04T22:51:00.001-04:00

Well that’s a pretty presumptuous title…I’m starting to get my groove back. First off, I’ve been walking/hiking a few times in the past couple of weeks – something way out of the ordinary for me given my sluggishness the past few months. Then to really get the ball rolling, I Redboxed Zumba for Wii the other night.

It took me a good 15 minutes to get loosened up (and shrug off the possibility that I could maaaaybe be seen through my blinds by passers-by…), but I did a good 45 minutes of this game, and it was fun! I miss going to Zumba and walking out feeling all sweaty and sexy. I am so self-conscious that my body is perpetually stiff; Zumba helped loosen my hips up a bit. I might just have to buy this one!

I think that game got my momentum going, because I was found myself deliciously sore the next day and craving other forms of exercise. I even got brave enough to join my boss at a pilates/yoga class at our gym Saturday morning (waaaaaay out of my comfort zone). I anticipated something more akin to the yoga classes I miss so much from my old gym, but this was a faster-paced ass-kicker of a class. There were a couple of times I thought I would pass out, but I felt like a million bucks for the rest of the day, and I think I’d like to go back. I need accountability, and I’ve set myself up for it with this class. 1) I talked to the teacher and told her I was new but familiar with yoga, and as a result, she kept her eye on me; 2) I obviously struggled the most out of everyone, 3) I told the teacher I’d like to come back, and 4) my buddy in the class is my bariatric doctor/boss…I’d feel like a turd if I wussed out.

Today I explored some trails in a nearby forest with my dog, and it felt so good to be out early in the morning getting fresh air in my lungs. Then afterward, I was going to get a skinny iced latte at Starbucks but noticed they had PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES again!!!

I thought they weren’t due for a couple more days! So obviously I had to get one…I didn’t, however, have to get the slice of cinnamon loaf I got with it. [sigh]

I’m experimenting in the kitchen again, too. Yesterday I made a fig pizza again like last year (though I’ve switched to gluten-free crust!)

tonight I made my favorite butternut squash soup, but I added some red pepper flakes. Hooooo boy.

I also made a chicken dish – I sliced some chicken breasts and put in some sliced Mini Babybel cheese and sliced ham, and on top I poured a mixture of dry onion soup mix whisked with chicken broth and dijon mustard and let it bake for 45 minutes at 375°.

So now that I’m sore and loving it, I’m motivated to keep it up (I’m tired of telling people “yeah, I’ve still got about 30 pounds to lose, just gotta get my head in the game,” and I’ve got some events coming up that I superficially want to look good for). What’s more, a lot of our patients have asked me for good low-carb veggie recipes lately, and I feel the need to deliver. Also, I’m excited to keep up this blogging accountability; I’ve missed everyone, and I miss being so aware of what I’m doing. Disordered eating is such a secretive thing – perceiving my life in a public way (“how can I blog this?”) really helps me keep myself in check.

Have you had to step away from blogging for awhile only to realize some surprising truths about yourself and/or blogging? I’ve realized a lot of the food/fitness blogging/bloggers I followed months ago were extremely disordered, but I also realize that writing publicly about my efforts causes me to re-evaluate just how (un)healthy my habits are.

Housewife Shower and Distracting Myself

2011-08-28T10:37:00.001-04:00

My friend Lofton got married last year in a nice-but-quickie “let’s sign some papers before he enlists in the Army” ceremony, so they’re doing a big one this year close to their 1-year anniversary. That means we get to have showers for her!

Lofton loves Guinness and stout beers in general, so Kaycee made her some Guinness cupcakes (I made the picks!)…

Guests each got their own martini glasses…

And I made a punch of cranberry juice, pineapple juice, and diet ginger ale to which guests could add vodka and/or rum.

Obviously our colors were teal blue and red!

Lofton’s not much for cooking and baking, so our favors included her favorite cookie and its recipe…

Kaycee made mini-meatloafs with mashed potatoes piped on like frosting. AH. MAH. GAH.

We also had green beans and mac ’n’ cheese – all classic comfort foods!

We dressed in 50s-ish attire (those red paper lanterns make great hats for Kaycee and myself…)

I want to get married for many reasons, but mostly so I can put a KitchenAid mixer on my registry…

I love these gals!

I’ve been having a tough time lately, and I hate that I can never predict when a day will be good or bad (I know, I know – I should be the one to dictate whether I’ll have a good or bad day). I spent some time with my good friend Joy the other night who was visiting from NYC and had a great time with her, but after she and I parted ways, I encountered someone I didn’t want to see, and I let it ruin my night. I’ve gotta learn to let things go, to let it roll off my back, to not hold onto grudges and anger. I’ve found I’m more likely to self-soothe with food when I’m upset like that, and I’ve spent way too much time being upset over the past few months. I can’t backslide and fall into the same patterns I did years ago. I refuse.

I’ve picked up knitting again and have spent some time coloring mandalas, both in an effort to distract me from thinking too much. And of course I’m hanging out with my friends a lot, but it’s tough not to compare myself to them, their relationships, their jobs, their appearances. Not good. I am finding the urge to exercise again, so that’s awesome. Now that I can look forward to the weather getting cooler soon, I’m hoping to take up running again.

Now I’m faced with the dilemma of where to meet people. I don’t hang out in bars and don’t go to church, so I have no idea where to make new friends now that several of mine are moving away, tied up with relationships and marriage, busy with kids, etc., and I definitely don’t know how to meet guys. Meetup groups? Online dating? Just walk up to random strangers on the street? This was so much easier in college…

And in an ultimate “that’s so meta” move…

2011-08-18T23:20:00.001-04:00

I’ll ask you guys what questions to ask…

What kinds of questions would YOU ask weight loss patients in order to engage them on Facebook?
If you were to write a blog post or email digest with an audience of weight loss patients, what kinds of things would you include? I’m thinking recipes, motivational quotes, websites with resources (portion size quizzes, etc.)…?
I’m trying to think outside the box, not be lame, not do cutesy crap that’ll just get overlooked…it’s friggin’ difficult!

Finding and Fostering Motivation

2011-08-18T23:14:00.001-04:00

Stream-of-consciousness post ahoy. Ye be warned.

Obviously I’ve got motivational issues of my own, especially when it comes to weight loss. But what am I supposed to do when that very dilemma is one I’m facing at work, too? For over 20 years I’ve struggled with my weight, and it has negatively impacted so many aspects of my life. So now that I work for a weight loss clinic – the very clinic through which I got help losing weight – struggling to find motivation not only affects me personally but professionally.

I’m really trying lately to engage the clients, get them reaching out for support, sharing ideas, and actively participating in taking ownership of their habits. But I feel like a failure sometimes when I can’t do the same for myself. Through years of various weight loss regimens and degrees of study, I KNOW the right things to do in order to lose weight and change habits, but it’s odd how that knowledge breaks down when I try to apply it to myself. I’ve been in a post-dump funk for a few months and have kinda let my eating habits slide – I’ve sought out the company of others to cheer me up, and inevitably we’ll gather over food and drinks. Thanks to my “coping” skills, I’ve gained 5 pounds in about a month, all the while having patients at the clinic ask me each day, “so how are YOU doing with your weight?” Everyone there knows I still have 20-30lbs I want to lose, and I’m totally fine being open about it, but it makes me feel guilty knowing I’m such a hypocrite – pushing a weight loss regimen I’m not even strong enough to follow myself lately.

I keep dishing out hints and tips, all the while thinking in the back of my mind, “I did that a few times when I was super-motivated at first…” But after awhile I’m wondering if I’m subconsciously unwilling to accept these weight management tips as lifelong rules I’ll have to follow. It’s this pitfall that has gotten me into trouble so many times before. I can’t expect to lose weight and suddenly be able to eat whatever I want without repercussions, or else the cycle will start itself all over again.

Along with trying to encourage dialogue and active participation among the patients, I’m trying to use social media and community-building tools in and around the office. There are only so many things you can post on Facebook (like “what’s your favorite exercise routine?” or “got any new low-carb recipes to share?”) before wondering “is anyone really paying attention, or am I just being annoying and turning them off?”

It’s a hard thing to get people talking about something they 1) aren’t used to talking about, and 2) might not even ben comfortable talking about in the first place. My friend (hi, M!) confessed to Lizzie and me a few months back that she’s been more open with talking about her own health and weight since we were so ~~obnoxious~~ vocal about ours. Of course at first I felt good to hear that, but then I got kinda sad realizing that weight management isn’t as huge an elephant in the room for everyone as it is for me. Sad not for them, but for me – it’s literally ALWAYS been at the front of my mind. And now that I seem to be teetering on the edge of success and relapse, I have to worry about motivating others, too.

Having said all that (just to get it off my chest, really), I AM feeling more encouraged lately, like I really turned a corner this past week depression-wise, and I’m excited about a couple of new ventures I’m taking at the office. While it’s sad sometimes to realize weight management will always be a problem for me, I do take pride in the thought that maybe I can help others with their weight, too. And sometimes I even get to use some of my fancy college-learnin’ around the office, so that makes me feel pretty useful! I hope this post hasn’t come across as *too* whiny – maybe because weight management is and will always be at the front of my mind, I’ll be better able to control it should it start to get out of hand again. And since it’s always been a problem for me, I feel it does help me better empathize with the people I encounter every day.

I’ve just gotta keep brainstorming about how to help others keep their heads in the game, keep things interesting, and get people helping others and themselves…easy peasy, right?