Lows, Highs, and Alibis Year 4

The Silent Fuck 3

2009-09-01T14:58:00.003+08:00

With Daniel, I let go of a lot of inhibitions. I became more open when it comes to having a relationship at work. I became open to being a bottom once in a while I became open to the idea of having sex practically anywhere. And we did it anywhere he felt like doing it. It was sort of a silent fuck all the time. No words are exchanged, just steamy eye contact. He would kiss me passionately and I would kiss back and next thing I know, my legs are around his waist while he fucks me against the wall - under a bridge somewhere in a filthy place in Manila at 3AM.

I admit that I went a little too far. We've been touching each other at work. It all started when I went to the photocopier. To my surprise, he followed me and he said he will copy something and give it to me. I thought he was referring to some tax forms our department was asked to fill out. It was lunch time and there were only a couple of guys on the floor standing near the coffeemaker.

After I finished with my copy, he moved closer to the copier, pulled out his long, hard dick and pressed COPY. Shocked was an understatement. I had absolutely no words to say when he handed me the copy and pulled up his zipper and said 'I'll see you in the men's room - 23rd floor. Everyone's in the conference room.'

There I was, holding a copy of his uncut 7-inch dick in all its glory.

I immediately folded the piece of paper and put it in my pocket. I walked as fast as I could to the elevator and he was still there, waiting for me to come inside. This is really something. This guy is well aware that I am very much into him and that I am enjoying every hump he does when we fuck. Should I follow him and make yet another mistake?

I went inside and stood a few steps away from him. He leaned forward to close the elevator door. Just before it closed, a hand appeared and it reopened. It was the Senior Director. He gave me a weird look.

'Hi Kai.'
'Hi Sir.'
'Going to the conference room.'
'Uh - actually we were going to... try the photocopier upstairs.'
'Something wrong with the copier on your floor?'
'It.. ran out of ink.'

At that point, he turned around and looked at the copies I was holding. Then he looked at Daniel.

'Sure it did.'

Dose (12): Good Execution, Bad Message

2009-07-20T09:27:00.006+08:00

I was very intrigued after watching the trailer of Dose on Youtube last year. It shows a young boy entering the room of his gardener and the scene is supposed to suggest that he was about to administer fellatio on the sexy man portrayed by indie star Yul Servo. The reviews online were great. I thought it was great too. The execution was definitely 'artistic'. They showed not too much skin and the sexual messages were not out there for us to see. There's definitely a lot of room for imagination, especially for someone who has been abused by someone in his younger days.

Pedophilia is a serious issue. I don't approve of men taking advantage of the innocence of young boys just to satisfy their sexual urges. I have a friend who does this and he is no longer a friend of mine. I think it is disgusting and inaappropriate and complete wrong in every angle you look at it.

This is why I was beyond shock when writer and director Senedy Que explained that this story is about love that knows no gender. He forgot to mention that gender does have an age and that love or sex is not a game kids can play at a very young age. I hate the fact that the movie ended that way. It looked like it's promoting pedophilia - that it's okay if your family driver, uncle, gardener, or cousin takes advantage of you because 'you were in love'. That's just plain bad. Plain bad. There's something seriously wrong here.

Silent Fuck 2

2009-06-29T16:21:00.004+08:00

I can't believe we're having this conversation.

This is what Andrea kept saying over 100 times when I told her what happened. In 2005, she had an affair with one of her subordinates. I was totally against it for two reasons - first, I was the one who told him the guy was cute and second (and most importantly), you don't shit in your backyard. The relationship eventually became fruitful - literally - but their relationship is not something you will find in the books.

'It's better that way. It's just sex. We had fun. We had a baby. We have to deal with it.'
'You don't ask him to marry you?'
'I don't. And besides, I am not sure if that's what I want.'
'That's very awkward.'
'No, what happened to YOU was awkward. I need details!'

By details, she meant what happened when my visitors left my apartment.

'Did he come really come back? Did you fuck?'

This is what I love about Andrea - she's too comfortable being around gay men.

When Daniel kissed me in the kitchen, I couldn't move. I kept saying 'Shit' over and over again. I keep playing the scenario in my head. He pretends he cuts himself with a knife so he has to stay. Or he's too drunk that the others will ask him to sleep on the couch. Or he will leave with them and pretend that he forgot something and he will come knocking on my door and surprise me.

Whatever excuse he gave the others, I guess I'll never know. They left together after four hours of drinking. He came back after 30 minutes. As he knocked on my door, I looked through my peephole and there he was smiling, as if he knew I was looking at him.

I opened the door and he smiled. He went inside. Not a single word was uttered. He took off his clothes - his shirt first then his pants. He was in his briefs when he reached the door of the bathroom. He gave me one sexy look, opened the door and took off his briefs and moved his head as if asking me to follow him.

I closed my eyes. I thought I prayed for me to wake up but suddenly I heard myself saying please I hope he's fucking good. Whatever it was, I was just distracting myself because even though I fought hard to resist it, I was drowning in anticipation over what is about to happen. I walked towards the bathroom. I stepped on his shirt and pants. I could hear the water flowing - it must be the shower. No, he's filling the tub with water.

I went inside and there he was. Naked on my tub filled with water. I just stood there - I was immobile. He motioned for me to join him but I couldn't. I felt my legs shaking.

He got up and that's when I saw one of the biggest cocks I've ever seen. Beautifully cut, thanks to his childhood doctor. The pinkish glow was almost blinding and appetizing. I couldn't help but wonder - is this piece of heavenly art ready for what is about to go down?

He stepped out of the tub and moved closer to me. His fully erected penis was pressed against mine. He just stared at me. I waited for him to make a move. He bent sideward and appeared to reach for something. When he stood up straight, he showed me my mouthwash. He gargled for 30 seconds and let me smell his fresh breath.

'Ahhhhh'

I closed my eyes. I was freaking drunk okay. Now's the time to fulfill all my porno fantasies - especially with this guy.

He grabbed my right hand and put it on his cock. I held it tightly as he moaned. Then, all of a sudden, he surprised me with the softest, sexiest kiss. Hmmmm....

I didn't know whether we should to to the bathtub or to my room. Whatever, I pulled him to my room and pushed him against the wall. We kissed some more. He took off my shirt - then unbuttoned my shorts. and when I lost grip of his hands, he pushed me so we could switch. My back was now against the wall while he figured out how to fucking lose my shorts. He finally did and he was shocked to see that I wasn't wearing any underwear. We kissed some more. And more. My penis was in its hardest state and so was his.

He started licking my neck - and went down further. He found my nipples and played with them. I was screaming loudly.

'Aaahhhhhh shit!'

He covered my mouth but I was still moaning and screaming. It was so fucking awesome. He had a fucking good tongue play. I tried to resist. When his knee grew weak, I pushed him to the bed and started sucking his cock. It was too fucking big, I could barely put it in my mouth! He didn't say much, he moaned a little and kept staring while I struggle to give him a deep throat. After some deep breaths I was able to do it. He moaned so hard it gave me a tickling feeling - as if I was about to cum. Cum for a moan? That'll be a world record.

My jaws finally were tired and started licking his balls. He reached for the table and found a condom. Oh no, I'm not ready for something this big!

He stared at me. Smiled. Opened the condom and bit his lip.

Fuck! How can I resist.

The Silent Fuck 1

2009-06-07T10:33:00.004+08:00

I had no complaints about Daniel. He was hardworking. He did whatever task I gave him. He was very respectful and he smiles a lot. He finishes things so fast yet he doesn't make any mistake. By the time he's done with something, I would catch him looking at me - waiting for a reaction. I would simply say 'You can go out for a smoke.' He would usually say, 'Do you want to have a smoke?'

There's something about Daniel's voice that's very - how do I describe this - sensual. I feel a strange sensation whenever he talks to me. I try to hide it because the last thing I need is the rumormongers saying I am on the verge of committing sexual harrassment in the workplace. I tried to keep it professional all the time.

One time, we were told that business is expanding and my team is being considered as partners for this new project. We were all so happy and we decided to celebrate.

'You guys, we should go to Giligan's and grab some beer.' Maureen said.
'I don't like their food.' I really don't.
'Where should we go then?'

At that point, Daniel stood up and said: 'You live nearby, right?'
'Yeah, I do. I have enough space.' There was just about 10 of us. I had enough beer at home and we could always buy at the convenience store.

There were only 6 people who joined the celebration. Beer was enough and everyone got pretty drunk except for me who was running in and out of the kitchen. I bought some foods which were easy to prepare. Daniel suddenly came in.

'What are you doing?' He stood behind me while I was trying to open a can of Sisig.
'I'm just preparing this. You can wait outside. They're singing now.'
'I don't sing.'
'Oh.'

He moved closer, putting his chin on my left shoulder. I feel his chest on my back. Are those his nipples? I couldn't tell.

'Looks delicious.'
'Uhm, yeah.' I moved away. 'Do you want more beer?'
He showed me the beer on his hand. 'Do you?'
'Nope, I'm a bit tipsy.'
'No you're not.' He moved closer once again. 'You're not yet drunk.'
'Not planning on getting drunk.'
'You should. We should all celebrate.'

He put his hands on my waist. I had a knee-jerk reaction but he didn't noticed. I tried to break-free but he was now hugging me while I am cooking.

'Whoa, you're drunk.'
'Hahaha! Not yet.'
'Why don't you drink some water. Looks like you need it.'

He finally moved away. He was now on the other side of the table. He had a glass of water then he stared at me. The sisig was overcooked.

'Are you really this shy?'
'Excuse me?'
'You don't make the first move?'
'What do you mean...'
'You know what I mean.'

He walked towards me, his eyes locked with mine. Then he gave me a long and sweet kiss.

'I'll leave with them but I'll be back after 10 minutes.'

Then he left the kitchen. I stared at the overcooked sisig and touched my lips.

Damn, he was good.

The Silent Fuck (intro)

2009-05-04T16:14:00.002+08:00

A few months ago, the gossip-loving gay guys at work alerted me of this newcomer who is becoming the latest hottie of the entire floor. He wasn't handsome - I didn't think he was hot. I had to stare at him for 5-7 minutes before I finally decided he 'may' scratch when someone itches - or vice versa.

Days went by and he was still the talk of the town. They said he was dating this girl from accounting, this mom from payroll, even a top boss who is gay. When asked, he would simply smile and go back to work. Such a silent type. I like it. I was curious about his personality and if he really fucked the entire finance department plus the head honcho of the company who reportedly loves having a finger in his ass while being fucked upside-down.

Two weeks later, I was informed that Mystery Man - who later called himself ' Daniel - showed up in my cubicle and handed me a letter. He smiled - I smiled back. Nothing special, I told myself. He wasn't muscular or gym-fit. He wears loose shirts and he has dark skin - definitely not my type. But then I remember what the rumor-mongers told me: that he had a undeniably huge cock.

i tried to take a peek at his crotch - wondering if I'd see a bulge. I read the letter - or pretended to. I bowed my head but my eyes were trying to reach his crotch. Slowly, slowly, I saw his zipper. I saw a bulge - but I wasn't quite sure. Then suddenly, he put his hand on his crotch and said, 'You're making it stand up.'

I was shocked - how did he know I was...

I looked up and told him, 'Excuse me?'
'Nothing, I was asked to come here because you needed some help with some documents?'
'Oh right.'
'It's on the paper.'
'I read it. I just can't figure out why email was not enough to inform me.'
'Oh so you already knew?'
'That you were big--I mean begin today... begin working today?'
'Yes, yes.'
'Uhm, yeah. Read the email.'
'Great. Where do I sit, Sir?'

I wanted to say 'in my apartment' but of course I didn't. Now I realized why there' s so much buzz surrounding Daniel. He wasn't hot but his presence creates some uncomfortable sexual atmosphere that almost wants you to stick out your tongue and lick his body right after you shook his hand.

The first week with Daniel was great. He has very good work ethics. He never arrived late on his first week. He was always asking questions - and everytime he did I was careful not to look at his bulge again.

That's thing, I was always intrigued about the bulge. There's so much talk and unnecessary energy spent on thinking about the size of his package.

'How do you even know he's big?' I asked Timmie.
'You just feel it. You look at a man and he tells you the size of his cock.'
'Oh - right, I forgot you're the cock whisperer.'
'Uh-huh.'

Later that day, I thought about that. When I checked to see what Daniel was doing, he was almost lying on his chair. His arms flying above his head and his legs almost spread - like someone can just go hide under his desk and give him a blowjob. His eyes were closed. He looked stressed after working on some stuff I handed to him this morning. I stood up - this is my chance. I can finally check the bulge just one last time.

Steady - steady. I walked towards his desk. His eyes were still closed. I take a few more steps... then suddenly, he opened his eyes. I was stunned. He didn't move at all and was still in the 'waiting for a blowjob' position.

'Anything I can do to you Sir?'

I am Dating a Porn Addict

2009-03-22T22:35:00.001+08:00

It was around 2AM when my phone rang, No, it wasn't a bootie call. It was from my friend Edward. He sounded so upset and begged that he drop by to discuss something really important. I politely said that it was too freaking late to accept visitors. He asked if I was staying in a hospital. All I could say was, 'I get your point.'

It took him only five minutes to come to my apartment. Apparently, he was just staying in the convenience store downstairs for two hours now. He asked me to check my phone and I saw that he's been trying to reach me since 8 in the evening.

'So what so important that it's worth 20 missed calls and 15 text messages?'
'It's Ron.'

Ron is Edward's boyfriend. It was I who first met him in a bar in Malate. I barely saw a spark when we dated twice. On our third date, I decided to introduce him to some of my closest friends - the list included Edward. The two hit it off so quickly - so quickly they did oral sex in the bathroom while I was busy getting free drinks from a hot 30-something guy at the bar. When I realized things are not going to happen between me and Ron, I decided to drop him. Two days later, I learned he was fucking Ed twice a day.

'Is this my karma?'
'Oh Jesus, can we please get off the subject of karma.'
'If it is, I already paid my sins.'
'What's the problem Ed? I know it's not karma so please go straight to the point or I'm kicking you out. I have a meeting tomorrow and I need to get up early.'

He paused. He looked at my TV and stared at me.

'He's addicted to porn!'
'He's what?'
'He buys them from this guy who runs this website.'
'What's the URL? I remember I have to buy new...'
'Fuck you!'
'I'm kidding. So what? Ron's a pretty horny guy. I love porn too. What's wrong with that.'

He had a worried look on his face. Worried that he might be talking to the wrong person.

'I understand porn is something that existed for ages now and people are entitled to it.'
'True...'
'But is it okay if he prefers to watch porn that have sex with you?'
'Huh? Okay that's insane.'

And I thought he was exaggerating. He told me that it started two months ago when he caught Ron masturbating in front of his laptop. He went inside the room inconspicuously and grabbed his cock with his wet mouth. 'Minty' he said as he just brushed his teeth.

However, instead of creating a hot scene that night, Ron's meat suddenly lost its muscle - he got up and looked pissed. Ed wondered why he became soft. Was it the mouthwash or the toothpaste?

Or was it me?

Later that night, he woke up because he felt the bed moving. Again, he caught Ron masturbating with his eyes closed. He licked his nipples and said 'Yeah baby, yeah' and grabbed his cock. To his surprise, he came less than a minute after he held his penis. That's when he became suspicious.

Days passed by and Ron started making excuses so he could skip their usual schedule for sex. He would tell him that he still has some work to do but then he'll find him in front of the laptop, watching videos of Sean Cody and Randy Blue. He tried to confront him but he seemed embarrassed. Ed didn't know what to do. He got so irrational one time that one time, he pulled out his box of porn CDs and threw them away. When he found out, he was infuriated and fucked him against the wall until he felt like his hole was bleeding. It didn't bleed - but the sex wasn't good either.

'What do I do?'
'I have no idea.' And I was telling the truth. I felt that this problem was psychological and he had to try to consult a professional.

'Oh but I heard that it's normal. People are sometimes not stimulated well by their partners. Not your fault though. Some people just require you to go to the heavens to find their GSpot.'

'So - I - What do I have to do then?'
'My friend who's a doctor once said you have to target the source of the problem.'
'Meaning I have to throw his laptop?'
'Not exactly. You need to give in and once he's into it - give him the finger.'
'EXCUSE ME?'
'They say it works.'
'You mean I'll stick my finger in his fucking ass...'
'..and tickle his GSpot.'

He was completely grossed out with the idea. I was surprised he was. For someone who's had guys to do that to him I thought he would be a little more open minded.

'But he's top!'
'Hey, I am too but I tried it.'
'And?'
'It was GREAT. Not something I would ask my sex partner to do everytime we fuck but hey, once in a while you need to shake things up, right?'

The next morning, Ed bought a small KY jelly tube and a condom. He's never been a top before but he figured his fingers might do a better job than his penis. And while he found his partner massaging his cock under the sheets - he put a condom on his finger, lubricated it well and wished himself good luck.

'Well, here goes nothing!' He said to himself.

3:59 AM

2009-03-15T05:52:00.002+08:00

I became immobile for a moment. Mortified is an understatement to describe how I felt that moment. There I was thinking we were having a hot private moment. Who knows how long the roommate has been watching me fuck 'power bottom'?

'Did we wake you?' PB asked.
'No.. no. Actually I got thirsty.'
'Oh.'

We were still on the couch. Me inside him. I wasn't moving at all.

And to make the situation even more awkward, the roommate moved closer as if inspecting what just happened on their couch. He kept trying to get a good view of my cock still inserted in his friend's hole. He was smiling, enjoying the sight of me - the mortified visitor, barenaked with his friend still sitting on my lap.

'I think I better wash up.' He finally said.
'You do that.'

He stood up, revealing my [still] hard cock wrapped in ultra thin condom filled with cum. The rubber was clean. He really was a good bottom. Knows his stuff.

I motioned for power bottom to give me a tissue but he ran upstairs. His friend grabbed the roll of tissue but didn't give it to me.

'Let me help you with that.'
'Huh?'
'Man, you're still hard.' He looked at my cock as if he wanted to have it too. I didn't smile. I just sat there thinking what could possibly happen next.

He pulled s few sheets of tissue and slowly - very slowly - pulled the condom from my cock. There was a weird sensation while he was doing it. I looked at him and he was biting his lip while doing this, he was making a moan-like sound. My cock responded.

'Ooh. Someone still wants to play.'

I smiled.

'Bathroom?'
'Thanks.'

He showed me the way to the 2nd bathroom. He left for 1 minute and came back with a clean towel. Power bottom was nowhere to be found. Probably still washing up.

Roommate knocked on the door - but instead of giving me the towel, he went inside and locked the door behind him. He smiled and started splashing water on me. I obliged. What's the harm of having someone give me a nice quick bath?

It took 5 minutes . He kept massaging my hard cock - used two soaps and a feminine wash. Yes, a feminine wash.

'They say this keeps you clean.' He laughed. I smiled.
'That should keep me clean all day now, thank you.'

He wiped me clean. He smiled and I politely asked for the towel. He gave it to me. I wiped my face dry while he sat on the toilet bowl and started sucking my cock. I didn't have time to react. He was absofuckinglutely a better sucker than his friend. I lost my balance for a second and almost fell on the bathroom floor but he pushed me against the bathroom door.

He was in a hurry, as if scared of getting caught by his friend. I moaned, and moaned and pulled his hair - I didn't know whether to stop him or not. I just came twice and my legs are weak from the energy I released a few moments ago.

But he knew better. He didn't stop. As I try to keep pulling his hair, he did my favorite - deep throat - even better he put my cock and my huge pair of balls in his mouth. He gagged for a minute but managed to keep everything in - all these while playing his wet tongue on my balls. I can't describe how much pleasure that brought me.

I came after a couple of minutes but much less than the first and second round. He wiped his mouth clean. ' Ahhh. Wow.'

I was still catching my breath. I left the bathroom while he gargled with some mouthwash. I sat on the same couch and waited. Power bottom suddenly reappeared, this time in his boxers ready to hit the sack. His roommate came out of the bathroom.

'I bought juice it's in the red pitcher.'
'Yeah, I found it. ' He grinned.

It was time to leave.

'Hey thanks dude. Here's my number. ' He typed it on my phone. 'Next time.' He winked. I winked back.

I said goodbye to his friend. He said, 'Yeah, feel free to come back.' I almost laughed.

3AM

2009-02-15T20:34:00.001+08:00

It was a typical Saturday night for me: workout at the gym, light dinner with friends, short fuck before I hit the sack and 5-7 times of flirting with your eyes. I realized sex after a full body workout is quite tiring but I couldn't sleep at all. I went through my DVDs - mostly movies and shows I've seen more than once. I watched 'Eating Out 2' one more time and jacked off during one of the hot scenes.

I looked at my watch. It's 230 AM.

After all the things I've done, I decided to leave my place and grab something to eat. I immediately thought of McDonalds: hot chocolate and Sausage McMuffin with Egg. Yum.

I splashed water on my face. Combed my hair a bit and put on my shorts. I held up my shirt and looked at myself in the mirror. Damn. Still a lot of work to be done.

I arrived to McDonalds around 245 AM. They're not serving breakfast yet. I went outside, waiting for them to bring out those muffins while I smoke one stick of Marlboro lights.

And that's when it started.

I was not paying attention to my surroundings. I was focused on the lady at the counter and the food she was serving to the girl in red shorts. A man came up to me and asked, 'Can I have a light?'

'Sure.' I handed him my lighter. He looked at me funny. No, he was checking me out.

'Thanks.'
'Hmm.'
'Are they serving breakfast yet.'
'No, I'm waiting for it.'
'Good.'

He stood beside me. I was still looking at the counter but I can feel him staring at my crotch. Suddenly, I get a hardon. He noticed.

'Whoa, it's pretty cold here outside.'
I smiled and tried to cover my crotch. 'Yeah.'
'Good time.'

I didn't know how to respond. The next thing I knew, he moved to the other side of McDonalds, looking back signaling for me to follow him. I got the message that it's going to be another hot encounter. I followed him.

We went into a narrow street where the houses are smaller and the street lights were all down. It was dark but I got to see his face when a car passed by. He was kind of my type. Not too short, nice arms (but not too muscular). I can see his nipples stiffen and I imagined licking them as he says 'Oh yeah'.

'What's your name?'
'Top.'
'Oh, great. My name is power bottom.'
'Cool.'
'Where are we heading?'
'Some place hot.'

We went to his apartment. It was dark but I saw him take off his shirt. In an instant, he kissed me. I kissed him back. It was nice. Good start. I tried to unbutton his pants but he pushed my hand away.

'Let me do my job.'
'Sure.'

I sat on the couch and he took off my shirt. Then my underwear. Then he sucked my cock which by that time was on full erection, ready to be licked and devoured.

I tried to caress him but he stopped me again. He pinned me down and shook his head. Oh yes, I don't get to do anything. He's the power bottom. I'm there to just enjoy. He sat on my legs and kissed me some more.

'You're hot.'
'You're hot too.' I said while struggling to free my arms.

I decided to stick out my tongue, telling him to move his chest nearer so I can taste his nipples. He obliged. It was as delicious as I imagined when I first saw them. He moaned and moaned and told me I was good. I stopped to remind him that I wasn't gonna do anything more than that.

He seemed to have gotten the message. He sucked me again - deepthroat this time. I pushed his head so he can go further and he did. His other hand was wandering, trying to get hold of something. It was the condom in the pocket of his shorts. It was sexy the way he put on the condom with his mouth. Nice and easy. Then he went fast. Then nice and easy.

'Don't move.'
'Yes sir.'

He sat on my cock and kept pushing my shoulders. He was obviously enjoying it.

'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!'
'Ahhhh.'
'Ahhhh... fuck. You're..ahhh... Fuck! Shit!'

He controlled the depth that my cock could reach. No one has ever done this to me. I've never been so submissive as a top. He went fast that my cock was hurting but he looked like he was about to cum so I didn't mind. He stopped, turned around and I started to lick his back while he was still grinding and moaning and masturbating and saying all nasty things.

'Keep doing that!' He commanded. I piched his nipples as he moaned even more. And in an instant, I decided to take control of the show.

I put my hands under his thighs and stood up while I was inside him. He screamed as I reached deeper into his G spot. I put him down and pushed him against the wall and fucked him like crazy.

It didn't last too long. It was way too hot for both of us not to explode anytime soon. He yelled, 'I'm cumming, I'm cumming!' I came before he did.

We stopped for a minute. I was still inside him. I was still pushing him against the wall. I tried to get my cock out of his ass but he grabbed my butt and pushed it against his.

'Not yet. Stay in me.'

I agreed. I carried him again while he moaned quietly.I sat on the couch and he felt my cock touch his G Spot.

'Fuck. Ahhhh. Shit. That was hot.'
'Yeah.'
'You're still hard.'
'Yeah.'

Truth is, I was tired. But I don't remember ever getting soft after a hot encounter like this.

'I can still feel you.'
'Is that a good thing?'
'Yeah.'

Suddenly, the lights were on. I see a guy with almost the exact same built staring at us. The guy I fucked didn't seem shocked at all.

'This is... my roommate.'

I struggled to smile. My hands were on his waist and I didn't know if I had to hide behind him. We were both naked and wasted and filled the room with the smell of sex.

'Nice.' The roommate said.

Now what?

Lows, Highs, and Alibis Year 4 starts now...

2009-01-10T10:59:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to my blog :)
I can't believe it's been four years.
Thanks for staying with me.
More stories coming your way.
More love, more hurt, more sex, more boys, more men.

Thanks for being a part of Lows, Highs, and Alibis Year 4 =)

The Ex-Ex-Men - Fourth encounter

2008-11-20T22:23:00.001+08:00

I had a choice - I could have gone ahead and made it look like his small bachelor party before he gets married to that girl Janna. Instead, I treated is as a small victory and a chance for him to make sense out of everything that happened in the past two weeks.

'What was that about?' He asked while still fixing his shirt.

'So, you ready to tell me what's going on here.'
'Nothing - that's what's happening here.'
'No, not here. I meant this whole circus.'
'Nobody's going to a circus. I'm getting married.'
'Well, it seems like it is.'
'You don't understand.'

I went back to the kitchen to make some coffee when he stood up and tried to escape.

'You are NOT going anywhere.'
'I'm not. I-I was.' He sat down and kept staring at his hands like he just killed someone.

'It's okay,' I gave him some coffee. 'It's me.'
'That's the big deal.'
'What? We're like friends Yoko.'
'You wouldn't understand.'
'That's because you wouldn't let me.'

And then he started talking. He told me after we broke up, he was upset and he started fooling around. He met this guy, a model whom he fell in love with. They dated, fell in love and broke up. He was down and all and he felt that he couldn't talk to anyone. This is until he met Janna who worked in the same building where he works.

'She was so nice. She helped me move on.'
'So she does know about all this.'
'Yes, and she was so cool with it. I always thank God for making her understand --'
'That you like cock?'
'Haha, no silly. For making her understand my past. What I used to be. And the funny thing is she changed me.'

I frowned.

'What?'
'Well I'm not too sure that she changed you 100%.'

He looked down in shame.

'I'm kidding.' I held his hands. They were cold.
'Hmm..'
'Have you--'
'Have I what?'
'Have you had any slips? Like this one?'
'No. No. Hell no. I love her. I wouldn't...'
'You just did.'

There was silence. He was melting in shame after what we did -- ALMOST did.

'I thought I could help it but I couldn't.'
'Hmm..'
'But you have to know that this only happened with you.'

I blushed.

'So many guys tried it.'
'I can't blame them.'
'And even some of Janna's gay friends did. Like they had a bet or something.'
'Well, if it's any consolation, I think you're doing an excellent job masking your un-happiness.'
'Who says I'm unhappy?'
'Okay, then let's call it something else. Your game, perhaps?'
'I told you. It's not like that.'

I wasn't convinced.

'How do you see yourself 5 years from now?'
'Well, we're planning on having kids and..'
'..And going to some bath house sucking cock while she's cooking dinner?'
'Stop.'
'Or calling me in the middle of the night saying, I'm having a relapse please fuck me?'
'STOP it Kai.'
'Seriously! You're hurting her and most importantly, you're hurting yourself.'

I saw teardrops but I wasn't sure. He quickly wiped them off like he'd wipe off some dirt on his face. He was obviously on the verge of breaking down but he didn't.

'I have to go.'
'Yeah, you have to watch Sean Cody porn right?'
'Fuck you.'
'Sure, I can be bottom for you.'
'FUCK YOU!'

He slammed the door. It made a deafening sound that blocked my thoughts for a second. The suddenly, I just imagined what could have happened if I continued.. if I kissed him.. if I gave him a blowjob and vice versa. Would I expect a shit load of cum since he's claiming he hadn't been with a guy for so long? That would have been a sight to behold.

But soon after, I thought of his pain. Or is it pain? Was he really masking his unhappiness like I told him?

The next day, I decided I should go talk to the person who would most probably shed some light into this situation. I called Diana, Yoko's sister.

'Hey Diana,'
'Hey bestman! Long time no see.'
'Uhm, yeah. Listen... I need to know something.'
'Oh I'm sure you do.'
'Right. Uhm... is it okay like are you free now?'
'Actually, I'm at Coffee Bean. Meet me here in 15?'

It only took 10 minutes for me to get there. I was anxious to see what she was going to tell me. She sounded not so surprised to hear from me.

'So, what do you wanna know?'
'I wanna know why?'
'Why? Just because.'
'Just because?'
'Yeah, some people choose to marry not just for convenience -- it's because it's the way they want to go.'
'Like he suddenly turned vegan in a day?'
'You're obviously just looking at the sex part.'
'Is there any other angle?'

The conversation was interrupted for a second by the barista who was calling out my name. I got my drink and let her continue.

'They're just two consenting adults who, at the time they met were both lonely and single but wouldn't want to stay that way forever. And I know it's a cliche to say having a family is the way to go but that's what they thought they should do.'

She sipped her coffee while I became immobile. My jaws dropped and I couldn't get myself to get them back in place.

'You should know something, Kai.'
'Oh, there's more??'
'Yes there is.'

The Ex-Ex-Men - Third encounter

2008-11-16T22:18:00.002+08:00

'People do it for convenience.' George, my cynical friend believed it was Yoko's way of forgetting about his failed relationship with me (and maybe some other men too).

I wanted to believe him but part of me isn't quite sure he's right.

'He sounded sure about his decision to marry the bitch.'
'Is she a bitch?'
'No, actually she was great.'
'Which proves my point that it's all for convenience.'
'I don't think so.'

'Seriously Kai, you've seen them all. Gay guys who marry because they want to have their own children. Or maybe they just are afraid to die alone. Or worse, they're afraid to admit to themselves and to their families that they're gay.'

'Well, that's one sad theory.'
'It is! And believe me it's happening -- all over town.'

----

That night, I thought about the other people I know who fall under George's 'convenience' theory. There's John from Cebu-- who was gayer than gay. He's an interior designer but since his father is a strict military man who makes him do push ups and participate in military circuit trainings, he was forced to be a schizo. A flamboyant whore at night in Malate, and an ultra-discreet designer by day -- with a nice, tight ass you wouldn't even suspect he's gay.

When his father was starting to suspect that he's gay (when he turned 25 and never showed up at family gatherings with a girlfriend), he started to worry. So he got himself a born again christian girlfriend who believed he was the perfect guy anyone could wish for. We cringe everytime the girl describes how 'hot the sex is'. It certainly IS hot, only it happens when he does it at the backroom of the bath house in Pasig.

Many people convinced the girl not to marry John because most of them either knew he was gay or their gaydar was always going crazy when he's around. The perfect girlfriend didn't believe them. Instead, on one low Wednesday, she got on top of her intoxicated gay boyfriend and fucked him in his sleep. When John woke up, he was shocked when he saw he wasn't wearing a condom. He tried to stop the girl but she kept screaming 'Shut up! Shut up! You're not gay! You're not gay!'

By the fifth time she yelled out those words, he came inside her. She found out she was pregnant three weeks after.

They went on with their lives, got married and migrated to Canada. What she didn't know was that Toronto is one popular gay destination. He went on with his tricks while she nursed their baby. By the time the kid turned two, she learned he was already fucking a 23-year-old French-Canadian writer whom he introduced to her as his 'cousin'.

John and the girl eventually broke up after 2 and a half years of pseudo marriage. They talked about time-sharing their little kid and some other stuff. John broke up with the writer and is now fucking a hot bartender from New York.

----

'So what's the point of being an Ex-ex-man if it's all going to turn to shit?'
'I don't know. Maybe he thinks he needs to go back to where he was before?'
'Homostatus starts with the genes, that's his starting point hunny and he shouldn't be fooling himself.'
'Somehow I think John's case was really extreme.'
'Like it happened in the movies.'
'Right, and so it doesn't apply to all.'

Convinced that I should prove my point to George the cynic, I decided I should device a plan that would make Yoko admit that this is all just a show wedding. I invited him to my new apartment and he agreed to have some drinks. I pulled off an all-nighter, studying how to mix the strongest vodka drinks since we both love them.

He was 30 minutes late but he was there anyway.

'This is nice.'
'And big for me.'
'Well, I think you have enough stuff to fill the entire space.'

He took a sip of his drink. I was thinking of putting drugs on it and raping him. So when he wakes up, he realizes it was a good fuck -- and that he's really not going to get tied to a live pussy.

But my conscience voted against it.

'This is a strong drink.'
'Thanks, glad you liked it.'
'Where'd you learn how to mix?'
'On YouTube. Last night.'
'Great.'

It was weird. We were not talking like we had a past relationship. He was uttering words which seemed so foreign to me. He looked very uncomfortable. So I decided to get the ball rollin'.

I put my glass down and I touched his pecs. He was surprised I did that.

'Do you still have that tattoo?'
'Oh, right. Uhm yeah.'
'Can I see it?'
'Here.'

It was still there. Only it got 'modified' into something straighter than a straight guy's tattoo.

'Oh, you changed it.'
'Just did some modifications.'
'Well, it looks nice.

I kept touching it. I was drunk and suddenly, I just started licking his nipples. The tattoo was about an inch above his pinkies.

He stopped me.

'You're drunk.'
'You're hot.'

I tried to kiss him on the lips. I had a couple of successful attempts but he kept pushing me away, even tough as I touch his penis, I could feel him getting harder and harder. His balls were like swelling in the heat of the moment. He was horny. He wanted me.

'I know you want it.'
'No Kai..'
'I've missed you.'

I unbuttoned his pants. I forgot he doesn't wear underwear. I took out his semi-hard cock. Meanwhile, He was still trying to push me away.

'Kai, please don't..'
'I want you Yoko. I miss you.'

I pushed him to the sofa and he was pushing my shoulders away from him. I was trying to reach his cock with my mouth. The push wasn't as strong as it should be. I figured he was still trying to decide if he'll let me do it or not.

I was determined to bring home the bacon -- back to cockville where it belongswww.

'You're so hot. I still crave for you.'
'Kai please...'
'I love it when you say my name.'

I finally grabbed his hands and went for it. The strong drinks made him weaker. I finally sucked his cock and did my signature deep throat. He was moaning in pleasure.

'Ahhh.. Kai no.'
'Mmmm....'
'No Kai. Stop. Ahhhhhh. Don't... Stop..'

I did. I stopped. I went to the kicthen, grabbed a glass of water and sat down. He was still gasping for air. He looked baffled.

'You...stopped.'
'Yep.'

He pulled his pants up.

'This is a mistake.' He was ready to leave when I pushed him to the couch.

'Not so fast Ennis Del Mar.'

He gave me a look. I smiled. I gave him the glass of water. He still looked confused.

'Now we can talk.'

The Ex-Ex-Men - Second encounter

2008-11-06T11:03:00.000+08:00

I called George the next day, still unable to fathom what was revealed to me at the coffee shop.

'He turned into an Ex-ex-man!'
'Ex-ex-what?'
'You know, Ex-ex-men. Gay guys who decide to be straight again.'
'Oh, I get it now. Hence the double negation.'
'I just can't believe you would trade a cock for a pussy just like that.'
'It's 6 in the morning and we're talking cock trades?'
'How did this happen?'
'Ask Seth.'

Seth was the first ex-ex-man I met. At the age of 4, he wore his mother's lipstick. At 7 he told his dad he wants to have a vagina. He left them some months after when his mom supported the idea. When he was in high school, he wore his polo like a hanging blouse. The guidance counselor frowned at this but when they realized how generous his parents were, they pretended like it's a giant elephant that nobody can talk about.

'Did you recruit my ex?'
'Excuse me?'
'Yoko, did he join your club?'
'Oh him.. cu-- how is he?'
'Well, George and I bumped into him yesterday and guess what he told me?'
'He's moved on and forgotten about you?'
'Well, yeah maybe and even more.'

I paused. He looked anxious to know what it was about.

'He told me he's getting married.'
'Wow.'
'To a woman.'
'WOW! He finally saw the light!'
'The light - what does that even mean?'
'I knew he wasn't really gay.'
'And you knew this because..?'
'Because he never looked at you like a man would..'
'Okay stop before you hurt my feelings. What I really would like to know is how on earth could this be possible.'

'Simple. You wake up and realize it's not what you want.'
'It's not that simple Seth.'

I thought about this so carefully, especially when the time when Seth wanted to be called Selena played in my head.

'When I saw the light..'
'Can you please stop calling it that.'
'Fine. When I realized I'm straight, I just fell for someone. Julie was perfect. She made me laugh and I was happy. Believe me, I never really entertained the idea of having sex with a woman but when it happened it was the best sex I had.'

That made me cringe a bit.

'Really, did you yell for the cops?'
'Seriously, I think people change.'
'Sexualities don't.'
'Maybe they do. Mine did.

The next day, I decided to call the ex-ex-men and ask him how he ended up being a vegetarian.

'You busy?'
'Just some wedding stuff but yeah I guess we can talk.'
'Okay, jokes on me. Please tell me you're not doing this?'
'Excuse me, is this Julia Roberts from My Best Friend's Wedding?'
'No, I am not Julia Roberts and I am not your best

friend. I'm your ex and I hope you still remember that.'
'Oh yeah I do.'
'Then why are you doing this?'
'Doing what?'

'This wedding. This act. This lie. Make no mistake I am not jealous at all that you've found a way to distract yourself. And I am not trying to get back with you either. I am just mostly concerned about this whole drama of yours. You'll end up hurting someone and she seems really nice.'

'She is nice.'
'Then why would you lie to her??'
'I'm not lying to anyone.'
'Yes you are. You are gay and you suck cock. You don't wake up one day and decide that you hate beef.'

There was an awkward silence.

'Hey I'm sorry. I-I was just concerned about you.'
'Janna knows.'
'What?'
'About you. About us. Our past.'
'She does? How..'
'Maybe you have to start believing in love a bit. People fall in love and some just cannot control how it's gonna happen. It happened this way to me -- believe it or not. I was in love with you. And I accepted that. Now I fell in love with her and you have to accept that.'

He had a point. Maybe there was no need to define what was happening to him. Our society is defined by so many labels - gay, straight, bisexual. Maybe he didn't subscribe to the same labels.

The Ex-Ex-Men - first encounter

2008-11-01T11:24:00.000+08:00

Fully recovered from the whole 'married life' drama, I decided to meet George for coffee and tell him what happened at Krispy Kreme. He was elated at the fact that he was right again.

'Dahling', He said in that crazy tone of his. 'if you really have to say I'm happily married then that's a big sign someone isn't so happy after all.'

'I realized that. Why state the obvious?'
'Or why state the NOT so obvious?'
'True. You're right. But the quote unquote husband is kinda cute.'
'Cute and homophobic.'
'See that's the weird. How can a homo be anti-homo?'
'It's called F-E-A-R dahling.'
'Stop calling me dahling makes me crazy.'

He sipped his coffee while I asked the barista about the tea I ordered 2 minutes ago. Sadly, they forgot about me. Tea drinkers don't get enough attention at coffee shops evidently.

'It's sad though. Anyway, I want to put it all behind me.'
'You should. I bet his face spelled loser on his way out.'
'Yes, it did.'

The tea finally came and the cute barista apologized for making me wait. I told him it's fine but it actually wasn't. As he left the table, he revealed what was behind him - a bigger table with two people having what seems to be a fun conversation. I could see a woman's back, and then suddenly, I realized my ex was staring at me.

George had to whisper, 'Isn't that..?'
'Yes it is.' I pretended I didn't see him. But I heard him excuse himself as he walked towards our table.

'You must have forgotten about me.'
'Ohh, hey Yoko.' It was his nickname.
'Long time no see.'
'Yeah, 3 years?'
'So what's new?'

George signaled for a cigarette break. He left us right after he sat.

'Nothing new. How about you.'
'Well, I'm getting married.'
'Excuse me?'
'Can you believe it?'
'No.. really. Seriously?'
'Yeah. Janna over there. I wanted you to meet her but I figured I should ask you first..'
'Ask me what?'
'How you want to be introduced.'
'Well, can I say we used to date, fuck and kiss and that you were my ex?'
'Of course not. Janna doesn't know any of that.'
'So what now?'

He called out her name. She joined us and the uncomfortable introductions began.

'This is Janna, the love of my life.'

I almost threw up. I imagined his legs up in the air while yelling, telling me not to stop fucking him.

'Hi Janna.'
'So nice to finally meet you!'
'Oh yeah?'
'Yoko told me everything about you.'
'Yeah, maybe not all.'

He gave me a funny look.

'You so cannot miss the wedding. I don't have the invitation here but we'll send it to your place.'
'Oh, I don't know..'
'You can't miss it when you're the best man!'

There I was - an ex-partner suddenly reduced to a best man.

The Married Life - Last Ep

2008-10-27T10:46:00.002+08:00

The next day, the sun was bright. I told myself it will be a good day. I prepared my tea and turned on my laptop and finally checked my phone for unread messages. There was none. Unfortunately, when I went to "messages", it was still there -- Thad's well wishes for me to complete myself by finding a relationship.

Damn it. I thought I'm already over this thing. Apparently, this message is still bothering me, more like haunting me and I still can't figure out why. Is it just me? Or is the message itself offensive? To find out, I called in the most reliable shrink in the city, my true confidante and the person who snaps me back into perspective in times of silly crisis like this: George.

'Fuck Carrie! Fuck Jerry Maguire! Fuck them all!'

And he is not in a good mood whenever someone pisses me off like this. He's what you would call a real friend.

'Asking someone to complete you is not true love. That's being an opportunist!'
'Uh-huh...'
'Believe me, it's sometimes even sad because you feel more alone -- because you're always dependent on the other person.'

George is in Public Relations and he is in a relationship with a not-so-hot, but super sweet and thoughtful TV producer. He says he's happy in the relationship, but he would never EVER call it a marriage.

'That's the most condescending thing 'coupled' people can ever say to singles.'
'I know!'
'You don't complete yourself in another person.'
'I don't!'
'It's always a decision ANYONE can make, single or otherwise!'
'Amen!'

Later that day, I tried not to think about. I decided to walk down Ayala Avenue and celebrate my choice of being a single-slash-not-looking-now-or-anytime-soon. As I passed by Krispy Kreme, I thought of a getting one of those new Hershey's donuts. Then I thought, Thad works in one of those buildings. Seeing me have my Krispy Kreme moment alone is not a good idea.

But just before I left, I took a final look at the bright 'Fresh Donuts' sign and noticed the man facing the street looked familiar. As I looked more closely, I realized it was the unfriendly married friend Thad.

At that point, I had the choice of walking away. But I thought I should confront him now and end this. After all, he wasn't alone. I think it's about time I meet this husband of his and get my message across.

When I walked in, he immediately saw me. He waved and looked at the man sitting beside him.

'See? I don't need to be married to see my 'married' friends.' I made the hand gesture for quotation marks.

The man looked uncomfortable. His face read, 'Who the fuck is this?'

'This is Kai, my friend from college.'
'Nice to meet you Husband of Thad.'

He was shocked after I blurted the word 'Husband'. He pulled Thad's arm and whispered something to his ear. I read his lips and I couldn't be wrong.

'You told him?'
'Relax, he's my friend.'
'You're fucked up.'
'No wait.'

He stood up, but Thad was still holding his left arm.

'Chill, he won't talk.'
'I told you to shut the fuck up.'
'Keep your voice down.'
'We'll talk later.'

He took one last angry look at me and stormed out of the donut shop.

I told him: 'Well, that was a pleasant way to greet your husband's friend...'

It was at that point when I realized the 'Married Life' he was so proud of was more of a torture than fantasy.

'Sorry about that he's...'
'Not out, I understand. As usual.'
'And he doesn't want to be called that.'
'I didn't you did.'
'I did?'
'Yes, you did. Remember that, good luck message?'
'Silly.'
'Yeah silly you.'
'I have to go. He's just waiting at the corner.'
'Okay, well, go get your husband before he divorces you tonight. Hahaha.'

The only response I got was a frown. Something tells me, that joke wasn't funny.

What's the point of a married life if the person you're married to is not into it?

I thought about what happened at Krispy Kreme today. I realized that he probably didn't mean anything when he said that to me. He probably wanted me to have a partner so I would look like I understand what is going on with them as supposed to being a happy single guy laughing at them as they cut each other's head off.

The married life may be happening to someone else out there. Who knows, maybe it does exist even in the absence of a real wedding ceremony.

-End-

The 'Married' Life part two

2008-10-20T16:40:00.000+08:00

As I thought about it, Thad had a good point. Carrie did get married in the movie. But now does that mean everyone else has to do the same thing? Aren't singles given credit for making the choice of their marital status? And whenever failed relationships happen, especially for marriages, do you have to keep searching for 'the one'?

Our texting spree didn't really end with the mention of Sex and the City. He asked how I am doing now and I said I'm fine. I got out of a relationship - or pseudo whichever is more appropriate for you -- and I am currently not looking. Surprisingly, I was telling the truth.

'Well, I'm glad you're okay. I wish you more success and finally a relationship so your life would be complete.'

I didn't bother replying to that message. What does it mean? Does a relationship always complete someone's life? Or is it life's big lid that controls the life of a happy and carefree single guy?

Later that day, I decided I couldn't let this pass without asking for my friends' opinions on the matter. I called Joe and he noticed that I sounded so upset.

'My friend Thad thinks I'm lonely.'
'Did he say that?'
'No, but he wished me good luck in finding myself a relationship to complete my life.'
'I hate it when people say that.'
'Like it's a pill you have to take to keep your sanity!'
'Like it's a lubricant you have to put on your cock to make your life more pleasurable.'
'When did having a relationship become a prerequisite to a successful and happy life?'
'WHy does it bother you so much?'
'Because I hate to think that people are now looking at me saying Poor boy, he doesn't have a boyfriend. He'll grow old and lonely.'
'Who the fuck cares what they think. I go to bars alone but I always make sure I don't leave alone.'

That's the thing about single guys. We can hook-up whenever and wherever. But is it enough to show this to those 'married guys'?

'Kai, this isn't a contest where you need to show your medal to your friends.'
'Apparently, it is.'
'WHy so?'
'Thad said I will see his quote unquote husband when I'm also married so we can have a double date.'
'WHat the fuck?'
'Yeah what the F.. now it's a prerequisite to a nice dinner with a friend too.'
'Then why don't you just get a date?'

I didn't think about that. But now that he brought it up, I thought it would be a bad idea.

'Even worse because he might think I'm just pretending to be happy.'
'Are you?'
'No, I don't think I have to pretend.. I mean...'
'No, I mean -- are you happy?'

And that's the question we've all been wanting to answer.

The 'Married' Life part one

2008-10-15T16:38:00.000+08:00

Gays in manila are often fond of calling their relationship a 'marriage'. While gay marriage is yet to be legalized in this country, some of us have managed to live as married couples, share an apartment, buy groceries together, try to finish each other's sentences and all the brouhaha. I don't see anything wrong with it but I can't help but make a funny face whenever someone is being introduced to be as someone's ASAWA*.

This came to mind when one day I was bored and I decided to get in touch with some very old friends - the one you've met when you were younger, more energetic, and more sexually-confused. One of those friends is Thad, a manager who works at some insurance company.

Thad and I went to the same university. We were both in the closet back then and I had absolutely no idea that he has part of our world. The secret came out when I told him I met with his friend Chris, who then volunteered to help me on a paper I was doing for our communications class. We met online.

'Hey, I met your friend.'
'Which one?'
'Chris... he's helping me with my paper.'
'How'd you meet him?'
'We met online. We just chatted and he said he could help.'

Thad just stood there, not knowing how to react to what I said. Apparently, 'chatting with Chris' always meant chatting with him on the Bi-manila channel, a popular chatroom for PLUs.

He later confessed that he already knew about me and that now we're both out we've got nothing else to hide.

--

Fast forward 5 years later. Thad got an early success in his career. He got a high-paying job and he said he's in a very special relationship.

I texted him to ask how this special love of his is doing.

'I'm completely happy with my married life.'
'Oh really? And when do I meet this husband of yours?'
'Someday when you're also married. SO we can have a double date!'

I didn't know what to say. I gave it a good 5 minutes before I replied:

'That's a mean thing to say. What if I'm Carrie Bradshaw? I'm always single!'
'Kai, even Carrie realized married life is happier. She eventually tied the knot, didn't she?'

And there, in my room while holding my cellphone, I started cursing at Carrie Bradshaw and the writers of Sex and the City.

*Asawa is the Filipino term for spouse

The End of the Show - Porntifications 5.0

2008-10-10T20:33:00.001+08:00

Dating Buck was more fun that I thought. First, he was the perfect candidate for a trophy boyfriend. While he refused to go to the fabulous gay district for even a shot of vodka or a bottle of beer, he tries to compensate by making me feel like his real partner when we're in the straight zone -- the malls, the bank, the streets.

One time at Krispy Kreme, a young kid was looking at us funny because we were sharing one glazed donut. There were two guys at the table next to ours who were gawking at us. They were obviously a couple so I didn't understand why there were acting strange.

'I know. Let's pretend you have something on your lip and I'll lick it off.'
'Are you crazy? You'll have us arrested.'
'For what?'
'Being in the straightzone. Chill.'

I admit it was a fun idea. ANd knowing that Buck was willing to do that in front of these people is great. He was really comfortable with the idea that we're together. I like that.

'In Toronto, you can kiss anybody. And I mean anybody.'
'SO you've kissed the entire town?'
'Toronto and the neighboring parts.'
'Yeah... that's AWESOME. REALLY.'

I was still quite uncomfortable with the idea that I'm dating someone who jacks off for a living. But you know what they say about relationships -- it's always a compromise.

And that's what I tried to do. Since we were both busy with our 'jobs', I decided he should stay at my apartment for a while.

'Besides, I have this cool poster. It's big enough to be your backdrop.' He smiled like a kid.

So here's how our day would normally be like: We'd wake up together. Shower together. Dress up together. I always tell him that he doesn't need to wear his long sleeves and tie but then he said: 'My customers like it. It's for my office guy show.'

He was a pretty creative guy. I've seen some of his shows. I encouraged him to wear a mask and he did. He'd usually play the role of a corporate guy who likes porn and who jacks off every time he gets home. He cut some boards and put it in front of the camera. The trick is to make it look like you are in the building across his place and you are trying to take a peek at the masturbating neighbor.

And the show was great. Guys online loved him and I'm surprised that they do send money before, during and after the show.

Friday's are, well, called Thank Greg it's Fucking Friday. He still hasn't told me why he picked the name Greg. TGIFF is when you bid for the next move. For example, if you want to see his ass, we'll start at 20 dollars. If you want him to play with it, that's gonna cost 5 more. If you want him to put a dildo in it, then that's 50-dollar show.

These shows last for less than an hour. It's a private show so the customers are the only ones who can see what they bid on. The more guys bid, the more money he gets. He gets a maximum of 8 customers a night.

By the time I get home, he'd be like a dead fish lying on my bed. I'll kiss him goodnight and he'll try to start making love. I'll tell him he's tired and he'll say he's sorry he's not giving me enough time -- a.k.a. enough sex. So he decided he won't be taking any jobs every Sunday because that's when the real sex happens.

'So you have sex only once a week?'

Joe was the only one I told about the whole Buck thing not because he's the only one I trust with this information but because he's the only one I know who can handle it.

'Does a blowjob count?'
'He must be really tired everyday...'
'You bet. He does 8 shows every night.'
'Does he cum in each show.'
'He used to. When he only had 3-4 shows but when he started doing more he figured he should use fake cum.'
'Yeah, cumming for 8 times a night isn't healthy.'
'So you can't do that? Joe, I'm disappointed!'

He looked insulted. Joe is confident that he is one of the most effective sexual machines on the planet and saying that isn't going to help boost his reputation.

'Well, I'm not crazy enough to cum every hour!'
'Hahaha I figured.'
'I'm serious! It's going to kill my legs.'
'Oh yeah... I know. Remember that time when I was bored and I was in my apartment? I jacked off the entire day. About 8 times I believe and boy did it hurt so much.'
'That's 8 times with an interval of...'
'Oh definitely more than an hour.'
'I thought so.'

Later that night, I asked him if he could take some time off his 'work' and have dinner with me. Unfortunately, the businessman said he had to meet his target profit by end of the week and he's not anywhere near it. So I decided to have dinner with Joe instead.

'Where's your guy?'
'Oh, he's in a business meeting.'
'Ooohhh sexy.'

Joe was awfully quiet that night. It seemed as if he wanted to tell me something but he couldn't.

'Well..?'
'Well?'
'You've been sitting like a statue there. Talk to me.'
'Well... I have a confession to make.'
'Let's hear it.'
'Okay but first, how are today?'
'Oh let's cut the crap and get with the program I'm starting to get bored.'

He grabbed a cigarette and gave me one too. His hands were shaking. He looked scared. Of what?

'I saw it.'
'Mamma mia? Great! Told you it was good!'
'No, the other show.'
'Which one?'
'You man's show.'

I coughed as I was about to exhale with the thick smoke from my mouth.

'You what?'
'Okay, don't get mad. I just thought I should see if you were telling me the truth.'
'Why would I lie to you?'
'I don't know. But you were right. He was good. Great!'
'Shit.'
'Sorry!'
'So is this going to happen everyday?'
'NO, he's pretty expensive. And for you, I won't.'
'No, I mean -- am I now going to bump into each and every customer of my porn star?'
'You said they were all from other countries right?'
'Not the ones who've been sending him money through his cellphone.'
'You can do that?'

I frowned. He shut his mouth for his sake.

When I got home that night, I was greeted with some ahhhs and ooohhhs in my apartment. There were crumpled pieces of tissue paper lying around and my place smelled like cum. He said hi to me and gave me a gesture that means 'I'm busy, someone's watching me.'

'STOP.'
'Hushhhh...' He put his hand on his finger. The man was still watching.

'You have to stop. Get out. I'm done.'
He stood up. Typed the words 'One minute'. The guy stayed online. He paid 15 dollars to see this shit.

'What's the matter baby?'
'I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.' That's all I could say.
'Look, I thought you understood.'
'I did. I still do. That's why you have to leave.'
'Kai.. baby..'
'I now understand that I can't do this.'
'come on..'
'Yeah, cum that's what my place smells like.'
'Look, I'm gonna clean up and we'll talk okay. Right now I have...'
'You have a customer huh?'
'Hunny, just let me cum and he's gone okay? He paid 15 dollars to see this and he's not going anywhere.'

I disconnected his webcam from the laptop. He looked down and kicked the chair.

'I'm sorry aight? I said I'm sorry.'
'Yeah, I'm sorry too Buck.'

I let him finish his 2 other shows that night. He must have earned 30-50 dollars.

The next day, Buck moved out.

Buck was still one of my great fucks.

Porntifications 4.0

2008-10-05T13:36:00.000+08:00

Later that week, I tried my best to avoid Buck. He texted me like a hundred times but before I could read the message I press delete and go back to my life trying to take my mind off the '50-dollar jack off live show'.

'Do you think he was kidding? 50 dollars is a lot for just seeing someone enjoy himself.'

Joe is the one person I turn to when it comes to the Buck issue. He's sexually active and he dates any guy -- and I mean JUST ANY guy. I figured he would have a better view of the whole situation.

'I thought so too. But then he said the guy's old and rich. It was his first and last expensive jack-off session.'
'I just can't believe someone would pay that amount to see someone touch himself.'
'On webcam...'
'Yeah, see that's what I'm saying. You can get someone to do it for 100 pesos.'
'I frowned. 'That's not even 5 dollars!'
'That's my point.'
'DO you think he's just lying?'
'Why, do you have another theory?'
'He's pretty gorgeous. What if he's really an escort?'
'I think he's a pretty decent guy.'
'Decent enough to jack off for 50?'
'Dollars -- don't let anyone think it's for a third world's currency.'

---

After talking to Joe, I wondered why I was so bothered about the whole thing. People do crazy stuff to survive in the jungle and he was no different from us animals. Joe made a good point: he's too gorgeous to be an escort - too gorgeous that he'd be ridiculously overpriced and would be charging more for tips.

So after a few more missed calls and some more text messages, I decided I was ready to have a little chat with the porn star.

Kaionthego: Buzz!
BuckF: HEY, I called like a hundred times
Kaionthego: Yeah, sorry.
BuckF: Sorry I freaked you out.
Kaionthego: No, it's just me. I was just surprised.
BuckF: Of course, you were.
Kaionthego: I thought you would say you're Paris Hilton's lost brother or something.
BuckF: Haha [smiley] Unfortunately, I'm not.
Kaionthego: [smiley]
BuckF: Can I call you?
Kaionthego: Sure.

Less than 10 seconds later, we were on the phone. And this time, I was controlling the conversation.

'Tell me the truth.'
'Okay..'
'Did you just make that all up to cover the fact that you're a male escort?'
'What? What are...'
'That you get paid by rich and arrogant queens?'
'No, what are you talking..'
'And if you like them you suck them too?'
'STOP.'

I realized I had to. I was talking way too fast I couldn't keep up with myself. It was an ambush interview with the porn star.

'I am not going to explain what I do anymore. I just told you -- only you because I know you will understand and because I like you.'

There was an uncomfortable pause.

'Hello?'
'I'm still here.' I finally managed to say a few words.
'It's not like what you think, no.'
'Of course, it's not.'
'Hey, don't patronize me.'
'I'm not. I'm just talking.'
'So can I finally see you?'
'Hmm..'
'Tonight?'
'Gee, I don't know. Don't you have a show at 9AM Central time?'

He made a sound that made me realize he was getting annoyed.

'Alright. Alright. Fine.'
'And that's 9PM MANILA time for you.'
'I hope you're wearing something...'
'I hope I won't be by the end of the night.'

And so we went to that new restaurant -- the same one where we were supposed to go when he broke the news about his occupation. I realized, if you like someone, it won't matter whether he's a porn star or someone with poses for DNA or PlayGirl.

The important thing is that he does the most intimate thing with only you, to only you and only for you.

And that his wanking costs 50 dollars too.

Porntifications 3.0

2008-09-30T12:35:00.001+08:00

So here's the back story: About 7 years ago, a young college student was having a problem. He was supposed to go to Australia for an internship program but he didn't have cash. He had a day job - works at a semi-popular, semi-trashy bar -- but he needed more dough for his trip. Cash definitely has to come from somewhere else.

He knew he could do something about it. A man like him -- charming, handsome and sweet could definitely use his skills to get the money he needed. He was introduced to a producer who described himself as a 'hotshot', making movies that sold really well. When he asked Mr. Producer what titles he has worked on, he was shocked to learn that they were not box-office hits at all. In fact they were small, independently-released films.

He produces porn movies.

'What the fuck...so you weren't kidding when you..'
'No I wasn't. But..'
'Holy shit, I'm dating a porn star. Holy shit.'
'Can you please stop saying that?'
'Holy shit... is that why those old filthy gay guys were looking at us funny when we went to the bar?'
'No...I must have...'
'They must have a copy of your movie..'
'I doubt that and...'
'Holy shit.'

I don't know if it was the vodka I drank a few hours before the conversation or if it was a natural response to this situation. Should I feel better knowing that I am dating someone who makes money fucking someone else on DVD?

'Wait, you said that was 7 years ago.'
'Yes, and if you could sit down and listen I can explain more about my situation.'

I was overreacting. But his story still doesn't answer my question -- while he is here on the other side of the world, how does he manage to survive? How does he pay for bills? I've never seen him take any jobs here. He just stays in his apartment, calls me when he wants to meet up.

'There's something else.'
'Oh, of course there's something else.'

He told me that he got here because he was asked to be a model for a local clothing brand. And he did model for them -- three runway shows during Fashion week. Pay was not as high as he expected and he was quickly running out of cash.

'So I turned to the internet.'
'You're saying you made money online?'
'Yeah I did -- I do.'
'Oh yeah, I've heard about that. I think I've read somewhere that people earn money through their blogs?'
'No, this is... this is something else Kai.'

When he got a little too desperate, he was sad all day. Good thing he had his laptop and he was stealing wi-fi signals from the guy who lives on the same floor of his building. He said it was an accident. He went to a gay personals site, and put on his cam. The guy he was chatting with was a bit old, he wasn't showing his face but he could tell by his skin.

'He asked me to take off my clothes and to jack off.'
'And you did?'
'Yeah, I told him I'd do it if he gives me 50 dollars.'

The man, excited about his bulge was more than happy to oblige. He got his email address and transferred money through his PayPal account.

'And from then on, I just started doing it.'
'You get paid to jack off?'
'Well, not just that. I show my ass, pour oil on my chest, spank myself. You have no idea how crazy people can be when it comes to sex.'
'Yeah, I just found out today.'
'Some of my viewers are from here. A lot of them are from other countries. So I get money in different currencies.'
'And you get the money by...'
'Western Union. PayPal. And oh there's this cool thing you do with your cellphone and you can transfer funds.'

So he really is an actor of some sort.

'I do whatever they want me to do.'
'And you get paid for it.'
'Do you... do you ever fuck someone?'
'NO.. no. I swear.'
'Have someone suck you?'
'NO. Absolutely not.'
'Coz, you said you do whatever they say..'
'Well, everything but I do it alone. You don't have to worry about that. I only like to fuck you.'

He hugged me, tried to kiss me but I was still quite uncomfortable with his revelation.

'Hey, I hope this doesn't change anything between us.'

I forced a smile.

'I have to do it. See, here's what I made so far.' He showed me a small box with lots of cash in it -- in Euros, Dollars and Pesos.

'Are you.. also going to hotel rooms offering room service?'
'NO, come on. I don't have to. I do it online.'
'Wow. You really are a porn star.'

He looked down as if unhappy with that comment.

'Okay, I'm gonna go. Now.'
'Wait, come on don't leave. I made plans for us.'
'Oh, you didn't tell me I already have plans.'
'It was supposed to be a surprise.'
'Trust me, what I need right now is a shock absorber.'
'Hey, please don't let this bother you okay? I do this because I have to. Not because I want to.'
'Of course, you also think it's fun right?'

I cut the conversation short with that question. I left his unit wondering where I'm going. I made that excuse to take some time to think about what he told me.

Then, I said to myself: '50 dollars to see someone jack off? That's some expensive cum he got.'

Porntifications part 2

2008-08-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

I tried to ignore what he just said. He just said he's a porn star. I laughed and I forgot to see if he was serious. He does have a muscular built. His biceps were big enough for me to fall in love with him. He showed me his abs which are to die for. What is it about big arms and flat abs? They show us some skin with no visible fat and we fall head over heels with this type of guy.

Buck was one of my great fucks.

Since that night we met, we started hanging out together mostly for drinks on a Saturday night. I initially didn't get his number. I didn't know if he was into boys so I was extra careful. But even though we didn't have any way of contacting each other we just always end up on the same side of the bar, drinking beer or something much stronger.

'So what do you do?'
'Some outsourced job.'
'Call center?'
'Close. It's a website management thing.'
'Oh, like you blog?'
'That's one aspect of the job.'
'Cool dude.'

He called me dude.

I went on to explain what type of work I do and he seemed pretty interested. He told me he does some business on the internet too and that's how the conversation went the entire night.

'What type of business do you do? Marketing? I asked.
He sort of grinned. 'Sort of...'
'Oh yeah? What kind? I mean how is it?'
'Well, I told you didn't I?'
'Told me what?'

He smiled and looked down. He seemed shy but he's always smiling. And how disarming was his gorgeous smile.

'Come on..'
'Where are we going?'
'I'll show you something.'

We ended up at his place - a big loft in the middle of the most fabulous address in the city. He told me it's owned by his friend who recently left the country. He's not paying rent but he has to pay the association dues and the bills. That's when I had the chance to inject the question again:

'So how do you pay for all this? I mean what do you do?'
'I told you, right?'
'Haha, that you're a porn star?'
'Yeah...'
I paused. ' You've got to be kidding me right?'
'Hmmm...'

He grabbed my butt and pushed his crotch against mine.

'No I ain't.'

I smiled thinking it was a joke. The whole thing was kind of erotic. Maybe he was just into role playing and stuff. We kissed for a good 5 minutes until our lips were sore. Then he took off his shirt to reveal his excellent physique. I licked every moving muscle of his body, starting from his nicely shaped pecs, I went through his soft nipples until I reached his abs. I gave him the best blowjob he can ever get (well, at least I know I did my best). He moaned and begged for more and so I gave it to him.

And in a split second, he asked me to turn around, as if telling me he wanted to fuck me. I dilly-dallied but he was just too hot to resist. If I were to bottom for someone, it better be someone like him.

'I don't usually... do that.'
'Don't worry.. it'll be alright. I'll be gentle.'

And gentle he was from the first time his dick touched my bum until he pushed his entire piece into me. I was in pain. And I could hear him saying something to me -- to make me relax or something. Or probably to make me horny. I heard him say, ' Do you feel me?' And I screamed, 'Yes, I fucking feel every inch of your fucking dick asshole!'

It got pretty rough. And it wasn't much fun being on the receiving end. But when I looked back to see just how hard he was fucking me, I saw a very excited man, a very horny Buck giving me one of my best fucks.

'Damn, fuck you!'
'Fuck me!'

And he did so with so much passion and drama, it almost looked like we were in a porn movie.

Maybe he wasn't kidding after all.

Porntifications part 1

2008-08-04T00:53:00.000+08:00

He was one of my best fucks ever. Ironically, his name was Buck, short for Buckley. Buck the great fuck. He grew up in Canada and was staying in Manila for a few months because he was in some trouble in his hometown. He said he it's not murder or anything so I didn't have to worry. I was afraid at first but when you see a gorgeous skateboard guy which abs to die for looking you in the eye saying, 'I'm not a murderer, don't be afraid.' What's a gullible gay guy to do?

I met him at a bar. Well, actually outside the bar. I was wasted and was smoking like crazy. I decided to get some air when I suddenly hit the ground. And there he was, asking me if I was alright. The skater dude with a funny accent -- definitely not American or British -- was trying to pull me up. I didn't think of my fall because I was too drunk to feel anything at that time. I just stared at his eyes and asked, 'Vous estes Francais?' He responded, 'Non, I am Canadian but that was close.'

That night we didn't talk about anything unusual. I asked him what he was doing in Manila and he said he was on vacation. Later on he told me how he got into trouble. That's he confessed that he got into a fight with some group of skater boys and someone got 'seriously hurt' that he had to go away. He showed me his bruises on his stomach. Nice abs, I said to myself. He's not bad looking at all.

I told him what I do for a living. He asked a lot of questions to a point when I almost forgot to ask him what he does.

'Oh I'm sorry. What about you?'
'Uhm, me?'
'Yeah, what do you do? I mean you're technically on vacation but..'
'Yeah I am. I -ah..'

He looked up, then smiled at me and said:

'I'm an actor.'

Masseur experience (Fin)

2008-07-21T09:00:00.000+08:00

The similar thing happened. I was there and this masseur named Derrick or Erick (I forgot which one it is) was there. He asked me to remove the towel I wore around my shoulders. I was only wearing my shorts. He asked me to lie on my chest while he start with my back. The massage was very ... sensual. He wasn't big with conversation unlike other masseurs. I like it that way.

He slowly reached for my lower body. He gently slid down my shorts which exposed my butt. I was very shy but then he started massaging it like he didn't care so I was okay. The way he massaged it, I thought he was already on to something.

'Is the pressure okay?'
'Uhm, yeah. Yes it is.'

He was kneading my ass for a good five minutes now and I couldn't help but wonder, did my buns look so stressed that he felt he had to massage it for that long? And that's when it started. He focused on one cheek. It was great. And when he moved to the other, I noticed he was touching my crack a lot. I didn't mind it at first but then it was as if he was looking for my hole. I tried to keep it together, my face was covered but I couldn't hide my expression. I was excited.

As he put his hands, following the shape of my ass, he slowly touched my balls like it was an accident -- but it sure wasn't. I moved a bit, trying to see if the second time would be different but it wasn't. In fact, he touched it even more but you can tell he's pretending that it's all part of the massage. And then, a few seconds after, he did a technique that massaged half of my balls, went up my ass and separated the cheeks and caressed my hole.

I think I moaned a little.

'Sir? Was the pressure too much?'
'Uhm, no it's... fine.'

Fuck the pressure. The guy was obviously playing with me. When he was done with my back, he asked me to lie on my back. He knelt on the edge of the bed near my head and started massaging my shoulders. It was great. It was great until I was shocked when he started massaging my chest. It wasn't just an ordinary massage. He was going through my nipples, slowly, gently, and not just the areola but the tip itself. Though it was extreme uncomfortable and was a pain in the gut, I struggled not to have an erection because I thought, if I'm wrong and this guy's really just trying to give me a massage, then that would be so embarrassing.

He went to the other side of the bed. My face was covered with a towel but I could see him looking at me, then he looked at my dick which, at that time was starting to gain some muscle. He was massaging my right hand when suddenly, he went for my stomach area. I was shocked that I almost sat but immediately went back to my previous position and apologized. I told him it tickles.

Then, he massaged my thighs, this time completely touching my balls as my dick slowly stood up until it exhibited a full erection right in front of the masseur. As if touching my balls wasn't enough, he massaged the area around my hard penis, careful not to touch my big gun. He used both hands to massaged my thighs. I didn't realize I was moaning so hard until he put his arm on my hard dick, massaged my stomach while his arm was slowly, slowly massaging my very, very, very hard tool.

I was somehow in a state of shock. I didn't know what to do. Am I going to give in and grab his dick too? Are we gonna have sex right now? Who's going to blow who? How much am I supposed to pay for all this?

When he sensed that I was a bit uncomfortable, he asked again:

'Sir, everything okay?'
'Uhm, yeah but could you stop with the stomach. It tickles. Sorry.'

I thought of apologizing for my hardon but I realized it would be too embarrassing.

When the massage was done, he asked if I wanted to stay. I told him yes I would love that. He then covered my body with towels and told me to cum -- I mean come again next time. I asked for his name and he gave it to me, only I didn't know if it was Derrick or Erick. Or maybe it was something else. I was still hung over by what just happened.

And let me tell you, my dear friends, it was the most orgasmic thing I've ever experienced - like it was sex without THE sex. No man has ever touched me that way hahaha!

Something tells me I'm gonna be back for more...

--END--

Masseur experience (second of THREE parts)

2008-07-10T11:52:00.000+08:00

The most recent experience I had was last week. I first heard about this spa through a friend - a girl friend. She said the services were exceptional and she plans to bring me there some day. I forgot about the spa. Two weeks later, I started hearing rumors about flirty masseurs at that same place. There was this one guy I met who said they really initiated the whole thing.

'He was massaging my back. He stood in front of my head and started kneading, yes knead is the term.

'He then touched my butt, several times. And no, it wasn't just part of the massage. He touched my hole, not once, not twice. But many times until I forgot for a good 10 seconds that I was in a decent spa. I moaned like a porn star. I suddenly snapped back and said sorry. He said, Okay lang sir. Then he grabbed both butt cheeks and added, okay po ba yung massage sir? (Is the massage okay, sir?)...'

'There was nothing else I could do. My dick was at its hardest and lying on it made it even worse. Suddenly, I grabbed his crotch, pulled down is pants and started giving him a hand job. He wanted me to suck his dick but I told him I don't do it on the first date haha! I didn't jack off. It wasn't safe. But he did. He came on my face and I loved it! I even took a pinch of his cum on my cheek and tasted it. It was sweet. I'm definitely cumming back!'

---------

At first, I didn't believe his story. But I saw read his blog and he said he did go back and got even more from the same masseur. This time there was no massage -- only a hot afternoon session with a masseur wearing a sexy robe, fucking him against the wall of the VIP room -- then in one of the rest room's cubicles. YES. He got fucked twice. Again, according to his blog.

-------

Determined to find out the truth, I decided to go there myself. I went there alone. First thing I noticed is that there were a lot of PLUs. They gave me a key to my locker. I took off my pants and shirt and grabbed a towel. I showered first then went to the sauna. Upon entering, I saw two guys on the side who were sitting very close to each other. At first, I thought it may be just the light. I focused and I swear I saw one's hand on the other 's leg. I thought I concentrated too hard that they stopped. The skinnier guy left. The other guy -- an older guy -- followed shortly after.

I was escorted to the massage rooms. I waited for the masseur. My heart was beating faster and I could feel my pulse through my dick. When he arrived, he was dressed in a uniform similar to that of a physical therapist's.

'Hi Sir, massage service?'

'Ahh.... yeah.'

I couldn't help but wonder. Was he offering me two different things?

Masseur experience (first of Three parts)

2008-07-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

I've always wondered what it's like to be in those massage parlors which offer 'extra services' to their patrons. I have been invited numerous times but I politely decline every time I'm asked. I'm too scared to get their service, let alone be seen anywhere near those places as there are tons of TV shows which targets popular gay spots for ratings. I wasn't willing to be part of their game.

Once, I was supposed to have a massage from a guy I met online. He said he knows one of the best Sensual Massage techniques. I was dilly-dallying, unsure if it's safe to meet him in a hotel room. He waited for nearly an hour until I finally had the courage to go to the room and get serviced.

I was pissed. Not only did he attempt to do everything in a jiffy, he pulled out his cock and forced it into my mouth as soon as he started. I asked myself, Is this how this is supposed to be done? I made him feel like I'm irritated but he didn't budge. He just massaged me a bit, stroked his cock occasionally, and asked me to suck his cock. That's the service I am never going to ask from my masseur.

'I was hoping I'd still be getting that Sensual Massage.' I said.

'You were a bit late and I still have to be somewhere.'

'Another customer?'

'No, another job.'

'Well, can I at least get what I came here for?'

'Isn't this what you wanted?'

The guy had clearly no idea. I gave him the payment I agreed to pay and stormed out of the hotel room. I left him wondering why I left a sexy, naked masseur like him alone, without even sucking him or stroking his cock. I was pissed.

------

The second masseur experience I had was better. At least he knew how to give a good massage. He was a bit of a flirt too, which I really liked about him. He kept pretending to touch my balls and penis by accident. I tried so hard not to have a hardon but it was just so difficult. When it came to massaging my chest, he had to knead my skin like a soft dough. It gave me one of the most exciting reactions of my body. My dick was extra hard by the time he focused on my nipples.

He went down, massages my pelvis and skipped my cock. He massaged my legs. And just when my cock was obviously beating like crazy, he massaged it, put his two hands around it and started stroking it. I was shocked. Even better, he sucked my cock without any inhibitions. Though I knew how he was just forced to do so, I admire him for at least trying.

I sucked him too, he had a huge cock. Then, he put my cock betweek his legs, and pretended like I was fucking him. It reminded me a little bit of my ex, who liked doing that too. So I decided to switch. I put his thick cock between my hairy legs. He was moaning and it didn't sound THAT fake. I'd like to think it may have made him feel horny too.

That was hot.

But something hotter did happen just a few days ago.

To be continued....

SHELTER: Must-see gay-themed film

2008-06-29T06:30:00.000+08:00

I am not in the habit of posting videos on my blog but this one's an exception. I always look out for good quality gay-themed movies and found one called 'Shelter'. I found out about it through the ads online when it was about to be shown in the US. Then, Migs shared the theme song on his blog. I figured I should just download the movie than wait for it to come out on DVD.

This movie is excellent. It's not your typical gay-themed movie where two men fall in love and all the cheesiness begins. I like that the director made it look very realistic (at least in my book) and the story is great. The actors are hot as hell too. Here are two clips: first is the official trailer and the other is the music video of 'Lie To Me', probably one of the best songs from a movie I've heard since Juno's Anyone Else but You.