The Kirsty Files

Frozen Raspberries and Freezer Burnt Ice Cream.

2020-02-28T11:12:00.000-08:00

Goals according to the world more often than not do not match up with Grief and it's journey.

It's a funny thing when you write a blog and label yourself as an open book, there are still things that you think are off limits, but the wind of time often turns pages without our realizing. These words are by far the most vulnerable I have shared on this blog, insight into the deepest part of my heart that has always felt completely crazy and even with years of counseling, yet unresolved.

It's the story of the remnants of an ice cream pie. It's lived in 6 freezers, one belonging to my best friend who faithfully housed it for two years without hesitation, for that I will be forever grateful. It's 19yrs old this month. It was made by my mom. Lovingly she made it for me the day before she died, she fucking died the day after she made it. It was to celebrate my 22nd birthday. Her hands actually touched it. Her DNA is on it. This is the dark part of my grief, making me cringe at the thought, and if paused upon too long, ugly sob. I can't. I can't let go. I have a soft goal of someday finding reconciliation in releasing it - but to be totally honest what does that look like? A blob melting away. There is nothing beautiful in that. It's not a bird being set free, or spreading ashes letting them lightly fall where their owner's soul was most content. It's a runny, sticky mess. And heart-wrenching. The shit of a fatal accident, sudden death. There's no beloved quilt, or video - oh what I would give to hear her voice again. Just a symbol of her every day devotion to silly old college student me who mostly took that for granted. I didn't know it would be her last act of love. In that freezer burned mass is her light and her love, I can't let it go.

So WHY am I sharing this? Good gosh that is a good frickin question. I've managed to keep this quiet for 19yrs. It came in my heart a bit ago. And my response in my best sassy 5th grader tone was "I'm Good." But it came again. And cue the 5th grade sass once again "seriously?!" all too well knowing it wasn't going to be ignored, and knowing it was time.

Taking a deep breathe I reminded myself that ignoring Grief does not make it go away, it will not, and will only consume until it's acknowledged. While honoring grief, giving it space to unfold and be felt and move through me, takes away it's enormity in that moment, and brings life to what was otherwise lifeless. I have come to trust this process, it doesn't make the pain and longing less, but it does make it easier to step in knowing I will not be overcome by the waves and will most certainly emerge with a deeper sense of myself and my mom. So begrudgingly I lobbed some prayers up... "I am surely NOT strong enough to expose this to myself or to the world, but God, YOU ARE. and for the recored I'm not at all on board with this, but I trust you."

As I hesitantly began to pray and meditate on the remnants of my birthday cake, something I never thought possible began to happen, cracks of light broke through into my dark lifeless time capsule.

I realized that my ice cream pie is also in the heart of our home, the kitchen. The place I feel most connected to my mom. Instead of feeling burdened and crazy when my freezer is over-filled and not shutting, I bitch at her and smile to myself as this is the closest I will get to a mother-daughter relationship. It's cruel humor and sweet reconciliation simultaneously.

And then in a moment, the significance of frozen raspberries in my freezer unfolded. They had been on sample at my local grocer and tasted so incredibly nostalgic of the summer spent getting up at the crack of dawn to pick berries with my mom, my first job when we moved to WA, I bought them. In the quiet of late morning, after the kids had gone to school, pondering what this changing of my heart meant, a huge sob welled up inside me, then that little voice beckoned "be brave, do it, it's not crazy." With shaky hands I moved the berries next to my pie in the freezer, allowing myself to rest in the knowledge that God has my back and it was time to process this.

And here I am, leaning into this piece of my grief, and surprisingly it is revealing to me a peculiar strength I was completely caught off guard by. I am gobsmacked every time, how life is always incredibly entwined with itself. You see, my heart is not handling the current tipping point of parenthood well. I told Nick last night after a dance moment in Trader Joe's with my child running for cover, that I now embarrass and am not always wanted. Ouch. And all at once I am the child who left her family after ice cream pie to go celebrate her 22nd birthday with her friends. That is a deep guilt I have held on to for 19years packaged tightly in shame. Seeing this child that is me, as my own child, I begin to understand, and the shame is stripped away. How could I? Because I was just a kid, my mom was my foundation, she would be there in the morning just as my child knows this as I dance through TJ's. I'm a constant, as my mom was a constant up to that point. (yes, life has shown me otherwise but this is not the "lesson" I want to pass on to my kids. Rather - it's living and loving into each and every day, not living in fear as if it's your last.) The significance of this for me is that once the shame is removed, healing can begin. It's not impenetrable as I had always thought. And there is the gift of understanding my mom better knowing how she must have felt - happy to send her child off to celebrate and sad to see her go. I'm all at once more grace-filled with that child inside me and my own children, and closer to my mom. As I type this my breathe catches.

This piece is far from reconciled but I've never felt the courage to face it until now.

Ironically, as I get towards the end of this post I hesitate to share the awakening moments in this process, I did not know where this post was headed when I began writing it many drafts ago. There have been so many moments in these 19yrs that have been filled with what felt like ugly, crazy, cancerous feelings. And that was ok, raw, real. And still is ok. And is necessary - whether to purge some of the pain or simply to survive through it. I am sure there will be more. Each time it's less intense - excruciating is replaced with a dull aching but it still hurts in a way I can never explain to someone who hasn't lost. To those reading this and thick into grieving please hear that, and know that you are not alone, and that grief happens in it's own time for everyone. I will type it again, 8 years of professional counseling, a very strong support system that has scraped me off the ground more times than I care to count, and simply time, 19 years learning to trust and listen to that quiet courageous voice.

Courage in grief shows up in many ways, in the beginning simply getting out of bed, eating a meal regularly, desperately trying to stop the bleeding from injuries unique to every person's grief - for me it was hearing "Happy Birthday" without falling apart, it all takes amazing amounts of courage, and eventually that quiet steady voice will lead you through the seemingly insurmountable stuff promising healing on the other end. I have absolutely lived and firmly believe all of this.

There is no how-to here, but in this sacred space of grief work I have learned the following is what I need, and damnit if I am going to be an open book with this pain process, my hope and prayer is that perhaps this will help another person who is reading this...

GRACE. To feel, to heal, to take space and to throw in the towel when it's too much, to go to bed early, for goodness sakes leave the dirty dishes. To snuggle and watch a movie with my kids just because I can't parent in that moment. To have ice cream for dinner. To be OK with not being ok. I am NOT dropping the ball, I am healing. It's ok, it's ok, it's ok.

CARE. Extra rest when wrestling with big emotions, extra water to replenish the tears. Fresh-ground peanut butter and really good bread, this sounds silly as I type it but that combo is easy to make and comforts me on all levels, taking care that I am nourishing my body. Finally the regular physical, emotional and mental release I get from working out. I have most definitely cried in my workout class more than once.

SPACE. it's crawling back into bed after the kids have gone to school to let the quiet clear my mind before I start my day but also blasting that specific playlist bc my heart needs to scream...Andra Day, Lauren Dangle, Lizzo, Taylor, Macklemore, Crowder. It's what would otherwise be routine activities that my mom meets me in...gardening, mopping the floor, and scrubbing the kitchen sink. It's both focused journaling and getting lost in the creative process. Sacred space shows up in all of these places.

SAFETY. This one means a few things to me. Accepting my fragility, it's ok to not be thick skinned, to need boundaries in place for relationships, for social media, and for interacting in the world. Acknowledging that this is temporary helps me to listen to and honor my needs. It's telling Nick if I just can't, and if needed, seeking counseling.

For me, the transformation process that leads to reconciliation in grief happens in new eyes to see and new ears to hear, and a part of my brokenness mended...I no longer feel like I need to "get rid of" my pie. Needing to keep this leftover does not mean I'm unhinged, the gut-check that deep down I already knew. Goals according to the world more often than not do not match up with the grief journey. While intended for good, and for progress, it just made me feel like I was always failing.

“Our silence about grief serves no one. We can't heal if we can't grieve; we can't forgive if we can't grieve. We run from grief because loss scares us, yet our hearts reach toward grief because the broken parts want to mend.”
~Brene Brown, Rising Strong.

I had thought the reason for sharing this process would be to let other people know they are not alone, in publishing these words I feel like I'm going to throw up, which I expected, but I oddly also feel free, and actually gave myself permission to acknowledge the significance of my own present journey,

so thank you so much for reading.
Kirsty

Always Walk To The End Of The Dock

2020-02-17T23:32:00.000-08:00

Winter Romance, 48hrs on Orcas Island.

48hrs, just us. A quick escape to the islands. A cozy island inn, amazing food, inspiring local businesses, lots of snuggle time, and walking all the docks. Time to relax, together. Taking it all in.

I have these moments when this little voice inside me whispers "oh my gosh do that!"...and so often it's ignored. The hustle and bustle of daily grind brushes aside the silly adventures, acts of kindness, moments to grab my husbands hand. I'm grateful for vacations to get us out of the noise of daily routine to hear these quiet requests. What seems so trivial, like walking to the end of the longest dock I've ever seen, just to walk to the end of the longest dock I've ever seen, it just had to happen, according to that quiet voice inside me. Luckily Nick knows this little voice inside me that's not so often great at being heard, but is a sacred piece of my heart.

So we stopped, and we walked it. It was incredibly long, and peaceful. We looked back and dreamed of a life when we could buy the local general store and our kids could adventure, and we would live on an island? Perhaps. Hmmmm seems like we've dreamt a similar dream before. But fun just to have the conversation and walk. Just because.

There is something about no agenda that settles our souls. A quick escape to the islands, especially during the off-season, gives us the space to dream and be in each other's presence. That space between us that ebbs and flows, and is so often filled with the responsibilities of our day-to-day. It's so paramount to take the time to cultivate this space. When we don't have to have an agenda, this space decreases in distance but increases in intensity. I think after 17 years that is the definition of romance for us. Cultivating that space.

So if you have 48hours to adventure, here's what to do....

Reserve a ferry to Orcas Island. There are rental cars available on the island, or you will want to drive on the ferry.

Book a room at Kingfish Inn. This cozy historic Inn is located in the quiet West Sound. There are just four suites and an amazing restaurant space below. You'll find board games and books. I recommend booking a room with the covered deck facing the bay. It was perfect for cozying up in a blanket with champagne as we watched the rain fall. This historic Inn recently got a refresh and just reopened this month! Perfect timing.

Make a reservation at HogStone. Order the pizza, make sure it includes salt-cured egg yolk. Our combo also had kale and a smoked cheese. It was phenomenal. Also order the Mangalista, their own island grown pork. Oh my gosh I'm torturing myself as I type this because it's all I want now. The perfectly chewy, slightly charred crust was legendary in my book. One of the best combinations of memorable and laid-back meals I have ever had. During the summer months Hogstone relocates outside and it's sister restaurant Aelder reopens inside.

Visit Girl Meets Dirt. This local island preserve maker is definitely worth visiting. Besides her own selection of cutting preserves, jams, and shrub and bitters - all made from island foraged fruit, she has a wonderfully curated selection of other goods she's discovered along the way. Grab some cutting preserves, to go with the cheese you will later collect, for that picnic back at the Kingfish Inn you will have.

Visit Orcas Island Distillery. This will require an email to make an appt. And then a drive up a windy forest road. It's worth it if you like Whiskey, and Gin, and conversation.

Stop at Roses Bakery Shop for everything you need for a charcuterie picnic of my dreams....cheese, crackers, olives, chocolate, bubbly. Baked bread and local wares make this tiny spot rival my favorite neighborhood specialty store in the city.

Walk the docks. Deer Harbor and Olga in particular are quaint, lovely, majestic and worth a walk. Olga is where the longest dock was. Also Sip the coffee. Chase the Sunset. Hike Turtleback Mountain - ok that did not happen but I highly recommend if it's your thing. Snuggle by the fire. Listen to the rainfall, if you're lucky enough to have rain of course, thanks to the "rain shadow" location of the San Juan Islands they average 247 days of sunshine. That's twice as many as Seattle if you're keeping track.

Hold Hands & Cultivate That Space. Take The Time.

Orcas Island during the off season, to reflect and reconnect. It's a very favorite for us.

thank you for reading.

best,
Kirsty

This post was done in partnership with San Juan Island Visitors Bureau.

Make Glorious Amazing Stupendous Mistakes This Year.

2020-01-30T22:13:00.000-08:00

Our Theme For 2020.

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing the world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, You're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make Glorious, Amazing Mistakes. Make mistakes nobody has made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work, or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, DO IT.

Make you mistakes, next year and forever." ~Neil Gaiman.

Why does this year feel so significant? Is it the changing of the decade? The fact that my kids stayed up till midnight while Nick and I went to bed? The greater divide that is happening in our communities, our country? Or that we frankly have access to infinite possibilities and the knowledge of what is happening...to our environment, our people, our bodies (seriously Why do I google those ailments?!). and just about anything can show up at our doorstep in under an hour? equal parts amazing and disgusting.

My kids are taking note. And for some reason they see mistakes as failure. They don't want to fail, truthfully who does? It's a smack to our pride and our hearts. What seems to be getting lost is the trying. They assume if they aren't good at something, they just won't ever be good at it. So this starts with Nick and I, what are we modeling to our children? What ways will I make mistakes this year, and how can I be way more transparent about the process to my children.

Make Mistakes. This is our theme this year in our household. I definitely don't want perfection, nor can I even achieve it anyway. Making mistakes means listening to our dreams and taking risks, getting outside of our comfort zones. And then honoring those mistakes - what can I change for the next round? Do I need to apologize and make something right? Work harder? Listen closer? Simply try again? Being Intentional.

Here's to 2020. oh, and also addressing this hair situation. That will come in time.

dress // The Odells. I won it
jacket // Hobo. My Christmas Present
boots // Frye via Bloomingdales. My Splurge - PSA - watch the Bloomies Friends and Family Sale, it often includes Frye.
eye glasses // Eye Eye. Gifted
scarf // old

thank you for reading

best,
kirsty

Apres Ski. Who Me?

2020-01-29T04:00:00.000-08:00

Our Family Trip to Whitefish Mountain Resort and Kandahar Lodge.

Apres Ski:  Social Activities after a day's skiing.
Confession, I had to look up what Apres Ski actually meant. I hear people throw this term around and I mean I knew it seemed to involve over the top knitted sweaters with giant fur hats (or is that just my inner costume loving voice screaming for the chance), maybe swooshing down a pristine powder covered mountain, fancy cocktails in the snow while soaking in oversized hot tubs. It always had that next level unapproachable air about it to me.

Until now.

Enter Whitefish Mountain Resort.  It's one of the things I want to yell through a blowhorn - which basically means blog about, but also keep secret. It's having a bluebird day on the mountain after 17 inches of new powder, being able to see from Whitefish Lake all the way to Glacier Park, yet not waiting in line for the lift, read: I'm hustling to get situated before it's our turn, how I survive daily is a wonder. It's staying in a cozy family-owned lodge that just also happens to be ski-in, ski-out with a James Beard Nominated restaurant that also serves hot cocoa and popcorn to it's guest every afternoon. It's a cozy bar tucked inside the lobby adorned with vintage photos that has perfected the classic cocktails while feeling totally at ease snuggling up by the fireplace in wool socks to play chess with the family while sipping on those cocktails.

This is Apres Ski y'all!

In the wake of recent life events from shootings in our city, a well-loved celebrity's sudden death to touring middle schools. I have been reminded repeatedly this week, that life is incredibly precious and goes incredibly fast, like faster than my youngest son down a mountain headed for the terrain park ski jump - oh in his mind what a glorious trick he had planned, meanwhile my heart was stopped and I was sending hail marys up to Jesus that P is still in fact made of rubber. He was, phew. Of course now I'm getting sidetracked but this darn kid definitely fell more times than he landed on those jumps, there were definitely a lot of tears of frustration but dang if he didn't get back up every single time and want to do it again. To the point that I graciously gave him my mittens and set up camp at the base lodge with a beer.

Whitefish Ski Resort has the unique combination of amazing snow conditions across gloriously big and beautiful terrain mixed with a small town feel where everyone seems like a local, the type of local that is happy to share their insider knowledge and lend you a hand. Major points to the Ski Rental Employee who without a second thought let me take my children up to their lessons mid-rental - he could absolutely tell they were getting beyond restless and this mama was totally losing her cool, it was not my finest moment. Upon return he didn't miss a beat finishing up the rental process with me. Not gonna lie sending the boys off with their awesome instructors that day was a wonderful feeling, and picking them up with beaming smiles, us parents also feeling refreshed, was an even better one.

The second day we got to experience skiing in white out conditions at the summit, we could have played it more safe and stayed down below, but frankly we didn't want to. Our daily life is quite safe and calculated. This experience as a family won't be forgotten. Having the opportunity to push beyond what we know and working together to adventure into the unknown, we were able show our boys that we believed in their abilities to trust themselves and figure it out. I throw the term "team Pap" around our home a lot, so much that it elicits quite severe eye rolls. No eye rolls this time y'all. It is human nature to want to feel a sense of belonging and that we are capable. That is what this white out afternoon was. The reward was also ridiculous powder and the best mound of curly fries your taste buds have ever experienced, and burgers, and sausages and pizza.

A few more highlights from Team Pap... (The mom in me felt pretty accomplished having the boys write their favorite things, you know balance out the days of school we skipped for this trip.)

Me. Drinking champagne as the giant snowflakes fell, soaking my tired ol' body in a steaming hot oversized hot tub watching my boys float snow balls in the water. I know, I'm taking back what I said at the beginning of this post. Taking the Blue Runs ALL over Big Mountain, even the summit and backside, swooshing through powder like I do this all day long. Well that day I did, because this mountain lives up to it's name. Along with that, Peyton's awesome ski instructor empowering him to accomplish his first black diamond run. Yahoo and thank you that I didn't have to take him. And finally, the tree ghosts - they were just as magnificent as I remembered them to be.

Nick, as dictated to me as he was washing dishes - I'll take it!... The Backside of the Mountain...enjoying a pure powder Green run, like a country stroll in the park, taking a peek over the edge at the double black diamond pondering the bears hibernating below. All kinda crazy when you think about it. Ok they probably were not directly below us, but this particular part of the mountain closes in April to protect the local Grizzly bear population. Lastly, The Snug Bar, located in the Kandahar lodge, in particular their Manhattan and Whisky Sour, sipping "hella good cocktails" and sitting by the fire.

Peyton. My instructor was cool, he took me on a black diamond called 1000 turns, it's called this because it's so narrow that you have to do many turns, it wasn't hard for me it felt like a green. The white out at the top of the mountain was super cool, it was close to completely white all around us at the Summit on the afternoon of the second day. There was so many different ski lifts to go on and so many runs. In the lodge I liked the loft and the popcorn because the bags were so big and it tasted really good, and the hot tub.

Riese. Getting popcorn after skiing every day and melting snow icebergs in the hot tub. Night snowboarding on the terrain park, boarding at night in the dark but under the lights, not sure how to explain it but it was awesome. The curly fries at the Summit House were freaking amazing, eating all the curly fries in the world as the white out happened outside the windows. The lofted beds [in the lodge] felt like we had our own separate room and the fur blankets were really comfy. My instructor was nice and helpful when I did something wrong he showed me the correct way to do it.

How to get here, the key logistical details.

Our preferred method of transportation is flying into Glacier International Airport and taking an Arrow Shuttle to the mountain. You can often find great deals on Alaska/Horizon, at least from Seattle. The airport is about a an hour drive to the mountain. The Arrow Shuttle is very reasonably priced, meets you at the airport, will make minor pit stops if needed - like the grocery store for the essentials, and drop you off at the lodge door. There's a good chance you will have Pat. I was very impressed, down to spelling my name right and giving us all the local tips for navigating the village. Other options are Amtrak which stops in downtown Whitefish (the mountain is about a 20ish min drive). There is a S.N.O.W. bus that gives free rides up and down the mountain. I recommend this more for if you want to check out dinner down the mountain vs actually taking all your luggage on the bus. Don't expect to find many Ubers. And of course you can drive, from Seattle it's about a 10hour drive depending on your speed limit preference and bladder strength.

Accommodations

We stayed in a Kitchen Loft room at Kandahar Lodge, this was perfect for our family. The boys each had their own beds in the loft while our bed was on them main floor. We also had a full kitchen so we were able to prepare dinner (think spaghetti and LOTS of bread and butter, holy burning calories) and chilled champagne in the fridge. Kandahar lodge is ski-in/ski-out with heated rooms to keep your ski gear in...so you can leave every ounce that you've got on that mountain and flop down on the coziest fur blanket.

If you have any other questions feel free to email me kirsty@luciakjewelry.com

Whether you call it Whitefish Mountain Resort or Big Mountain, sharing the place I grew up skiing at with my family was a bucket list moment. Growing up at the base of this mountain I had no idea until I moved away how lucky I was to have this experience. I often talk about this place now and the fond memories I have, and I wondered if it would live up to the hype for my crew. As my exasperating yet wonderfully wise 5th grader put it "mom this place is in your blood and I can totally see why now."

What a tremendous way to kick off 2020.

thank you for reading,
Kirsty

This post was in partnership with Whitefish Mountain Resort, Kandahar Lodge, and Arrow Shuttle - 3 companies that I can't speak highly enough about. Thank you for partnering with me and my family.

What It Means To Be 40. Going Grey.

2019-11-04T22:57:00.000-08:00

Is it Gray or Grey?! Whichever It Is - Owning It.

On most days I can do 50 legit pushups.
I'm proud to say I can still hold my own in adventuring with my children.
I finally caved and had to change my font size, but just one level, on my phone. it really should be two.
My right knee clicks when I walk up the stairs, I have 3 sets of stairs in my house.
I can jump on the trampoline, sometimes for 30 seconds, sometimes 5 minutes, before my bladder neeeeeds to be relieved.
OH that bladder.
I contemplate botox, just for my scowl line - oh that one has been perfected for years. But I haven't done it YET.
I add collagen to my coffee every morning. btw this is the one I like best, dissolves easily and has no taste. I've tried a lot.

I'm alive. What a freakin privilege to be alive.

I slipped into this decade of 40. No big party or hoopla. We bought a really great mattress and Nick gave me matching PJs. It was as good as it could be. My mom passed away suddenly on my 22 birthday, so as you can imagine it's been a long road to being able to even acknowledge this day as a good one. Or perhaps you can't imagine, and I hope you never truly can. But in practicing empathy it's worth trying.

And some how this idea of growing out my gray hair has snuck in. It's been 5 months without even realizing. Like many things in my life, this one happened sneakily mostly due to lack of attention. Case In Point...Ran out of diapers - time to attempt potty training. Eating a brownie sundae every night before bed, oven breaks and I'm too irritated to fix it (SERIOUSLY my Viking has been a lemon!) so I stop baking for a few months, brownie problem fixes itself, guys I had no idea you aren't supposed to do that, oh the bliss of youth. A summer full of camping adventures and a stylist that is just so good she's super booked, I'm going gray. Grey. Grombre.

What I hadn't anticipated was the emotions that would bubble up as the gray roots emerged. It's still shocking sometimes to look in the mirror, but I'm getting more used to it. I actually love the gray that is showing, I love seeing ME unfold, OH HELLO there, didn't even know THAT was under all that. A wise friend put it best - it's reframing how I have seen myself almost always. It's letting go, not to be confused with letting myself go. See the difference. Over the past month, as I've gone from too lazy so there's roots showing to yeah - I'm actually doing this, I've begun to think of aging as a chance to reveal more of who I truly am. And a chance to grow closer to my mom. What I HATE is that she isn't here to talk through these life changes over coffee. Fuck I hate that so much. But if I pay attention, gifts like these gently float into my grief journey, and I feel more of her in me. 40 for me really means settling into my own skin, and obviously not settling like throwing in the towel but in becoming comfortable with myself, obviously.

This transition period, however, I do not like, and perhaps I will figure out how to deal with the mixes of me, the gray and the blonde. Perhaps I won't. I refuse to let what I an Iphone photo portrays of me decide how I feel about myself. I refuse to let society dictate that I am old and incapable. When my boys state "Mom you look like a grandma." I remind them that society tells them they look like girls. Perhaps we shall walk this journey of changing peoples minds together. They agree. I love that. and my fire is fueled to keep going. Somedays I'm less affected than others. I imagine this battle will ebb and flow. And I can't wrap my brain around how long this process will take. But I do imagine there is gonna be more treasure found in this journey of aging. UGH. and so good. It's both.

And lots of hats. and statement headbands. and lipstick. and collagen.

And I am alive.

These photos were taken after a few days of feeling blah. I needed to brush it out and celebrate. Own it, rather than letting it own me. And wearing a few of my favorite things always helps.

kimono - Sway & Cake. gifted

tank - Everlane.

jeans - vintage Levi's.

boots - Queen Anne Dispatch.

There isn't a real point to this blog post, it's more just a stream of thoughts I have been having over the last month. I had hoped to gather them more succinctly (how I've always wanted to use that word properly, don't tell me if I'm wrong.) but in actuality that post may never happen and it's time to just push publish.

Except one more point, at the end of the day, it's just hair.

thank you for reading and sharing in this journey. I've love to hear your thoughts.

best
kirsty

Family Photos, Do them.

2019-10-21T14:11:00.002-07:00

Family photos can be overwhelming, so let me tell you what I think...

Ok first, unless you are related, I am guessing that very few of you will make it through all these photos. I tried to pick my very favorite first so you can get the idea. It's ok, I won't judge - I would totally skip them instead of going through them 100s of times smiling to myself if they weren't my own. But you guys, this was the best I could edit it down to because there was just too many great ones. These were our family photos from a year ago! man time flies.

And what to say about family photos? this can be quite a polarizing topic, and one that creates angst and stress and pressure. Darnit. Totally get it, right there with you.

Here's my thoughts...

We are our worst critics, so for a moment just stop and let someone else find your best side. And even if you are never satisfied with the photos, you will have them, and cherish them later. And those who love you will cherish them. I frickin promise this one. My mom hated having her photo taken and so I have so very few of her and it breaks my heart.

Make it fun. Find a place that kids can be kids. and embrace the outtakes. This round Peyton fell immediately as he sprinted across the grass when we arrived. This is not the first time, when we took photos when he was 1 his head immediately found the brick patio - major goose egg for those, so I say we are at least improving with our falling skills. I kind of love the grass stains on his pants in all these photos. It adds some reality spice and takes the pressure off of needing to be so curated.

What to wear? Well this one I go back on forth on. I dream of all of us looking coordinatedly uncoordinated in our best. But I also know my kids will be so very bratty if they are uncomfortable. And those clothes will be worn once, and that's money I don't want to waste. Plus I want there to be some reality to our photos. So I try to get creative with what they've got and would normally wear. There is usually something worth a photo in their closet and we go from there. I like the idea of contrasting colors, but honestly prints or no prints, color vs nuetrals...no rules with what to wear, as long as you are comfortable. This will definitely shine through into the camera. Sorry not much help otherwise.

The Photographer. Honestly if you can't afford a professional, then get your friend, neighbor, mom out there and use an Iphone and spend 30 mins shooting. But if you can afford a professional find one who's style is simpatico with what you want - this includes the way they shoot candids, the shots they capture and the editing style they choose. Most of the time you can research their instagram or website gallery. It's not out of line to ask them to send you an example of a gallery. In Seattle - I highly recommend Annie. Obviously all these parts jive with me but I also love her patiences and the tricks she uses to get the shots. You guys - it's so hard to capture my oldest sons true smile. She nailed it. Annie happens to have 3 elementary age children of her own so she gets kids pretty well. She is easy to work with and can find that patch of grass on a city sidewalk that will look magical.

If this all feels like too much, consider getting family photos outside of right now - the mad rush for holiday cards, if it feels like too much. Summer is great or when you go on a trip and are living your best life. Or maybe for an upcoming party - invite a photographer to document.

Totally worth the investment in my opinion.

Happy Fall Y'all.

photos by Annie.

PS - If you didn't get a christmas card and you usually do, it's probably because I lost my address book and just had to let that expectation go for a bit. Don't you worry - I may just send two years in one this year...bonus bonus.

best

Kirsty

I'm banking on it.

2019-10-14T22:35:00.002-07:00

Visiting the San Juans during the Quiet Months. Roche Harbor.

I am banking on this one. That my family will have these trips imprinted in their hearts. Maybe not the details but the feeling. Getting away together, away from our daily grind and chores - oh the whines. Finding joy in searching for sea creatures well past dark. Strolling down the brick lane to get hot fresh donuts. Not even having wifi, gasp. Making due with Uno, and the belly laughs that deck of cards produces. The space we seek is Roche Harbor. If you haven't been, you need to go. The historic cottages, once home to the families of lime kiln workers, are perfect for a family getaway. To breathe in the sea air, to revel in the history, and ponder what the future holds.

For us getting away to Roche Harbor and San Juan Island is the perfect reset, and calm before the holiday storm.

Almost anyone in the PNW knows that the San Juan Islands are a magnificent gift that mother nature has given us. The little secret is that the off season on the islands is incredibly majestic. Fun Fact: the sun shines on the San Juan islands an average of 247 days/year and receives half the annual rainfall as Seattle. Thanks to the Rain-Shadow. That's worth the largest text size and italics. And during the non-summer months it's incredibly quiet and calm, exactly what this family needs. Plus you don't have to plan weeks ahead with ferry reservations and lodging. Also what this mama needs. There are also wonderfully charming and welcoming small town events happening. Savor the San Juans is happening all throughout the fall and our favorite tradition is the Island Lights Festival that kicks off Friday Harbor Winterfest.

Some of our San Juan Island highlights...

We always visit the Friday Harbor Food Coop for locally made treats, and pick up some homemade bread or pizza from Friday Harbor Bakery right next door. A must is Girl Meets Dirt jams with island made cheese and bread. Sitting on the porch wrapped in blankets with a glass of chilled bubbly in hand. The boys may or may not be chasing geese or playing at the nearby playground within sight. *sigh* Oh my gosh why am I not there RIGHT NOW!

San Juan Island Distillery. Particularly their gin. During the off seasons a simple email will usually secure that someone will be there to open up and talk shop. They also partner with Westcott Bay Cider and Kari's Island Elixirs. I highly recommend the Nettle Gin.

Fresh donuts at the Lime Kiln Cafe & a late night walk to The Company Store for Lopez Island Creamery ice cream.

One of our very favorite family traditions is walking the docks at Roche Harbor after dark. With the backdrop of the Resort all aglow with holiday lights, trying to decide which boat wins for best in show, and searching for sea creatures that illuminate when you shine your phone light on them, it's magical - and totally fills this biology-major-science-loving heart of mine. Bonus: it's a great way to get the energy out before snuggling into bed.

Before it all ends, coffee at The Bean Cafe while waiting for the ferry home. And popping into The Lavender Store.

This post is well planned, as I have been missing my youngest's joyful smile. Such a good reminder to stop and enjoy each other and every day.

Thank you for reading.

Kirsty

This post was done in partnership with the San Juan Island Visitors Bureau. Lodging was provided by Roche Harbor.

Monday Morning Shoutout To A Really Fabulous Shirt Dress.

2019-09-09T10:28:00.000-07:00

Taking Size Out of the Conversation with Universal Standard.

xxx

Ok this dress. It’s Universal Standard. The color and feel of the fabric, a style that I can easily wear all year long, details like hidden snaps between the buttons on the chest - hello no gaping, genius! - it has me dancing in public, much to my 11yr olds dismay.

And I LOVE that the dress is available in sizes 00-40.

I’m always telling people to wear what brings them joy but I’m embarrassed to admit I never thought about not having access to great design. Universal standard is working to make sizes 00-40 just that - the industry standard. And in their commitment they have not compromised design or quality one single bit, I’d say they’ve even raised the design bar. Let’s take size out of the conversation and make great clothes for all women.

Bonus bonus bonus is their Fit Liberty - buy from their Core Collection now and wear it now. Feel fabulous now. And if your size changes in the next year - exchange for your new size free of charge, and Universal Standard will donate the used items to charities such as Dress for Success.

Use code thekirstyfiles-xusp for 20% off your entire purchase till Oct 3rd.

dress - Universal Standard (gifted)

boots - Vintage, Seattle Goodwill Glitter Sale Score!

bag - Find it at my shop! Queen Anne Frame

necklace - all at my shop.

belt - oldie.

You can also visit a Universal Standard 1:1 space for shopping, styling, perhaps a glass of bubbly and community.

best,

Kirsty

They Will Remember How I Made Them Feel.

2019-08-31T10:52:00.001-07:00

Empowered. Capable. Loved. Worthy.
A note to myself as I embark on being a mom to a 4th and 5th grader. Holy cow.

"At the end of they day people won't remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel." ~Maya Angelou.

My AHA moment over the weekend. This is absolutely true for my children too. Of course they will also probably remember the details, because as long as it's not chore-related they have minds like a steal trap, so maybe this day will become of family legend, retold at the dinner table - remember that time...

But I'm getting sidetracked, that's not important to this post, back to the point...

Last weekend we went camping and found this awesome swimming hole on the river - like reminiscent of my childhood days in Montana good. The boys begged Nick and I to swim across the river, so we did. I huffed it in - is that even a word? I don't know but I did it because I'll be darned if they think their mama can't hang, and get her hair wet. Even if I'd prefer to stay on the shore. And was totally gassed from that frigid river swim.

Thank you pride.

But what it turned into was so much more than that. Once we all pushed past our fear and the feeling in our fingers, and swam across, they didn't want me to leave. They Didn't Want Me To Leave. So we strategized how to get the sunscreen across the river. They felt capable and that they were contributing. They forged a plan and executed, and adapted as needed with laughter and confidence. I silently held my breathe as they canon balled off the rocks into the cold river depths and they felt brave. I stayed, played, cheered. We were a team, I wasn't telling them what to do, as I often do - a MAJOR drag of being a mom. We laughed as Peyton game planned to rescue his beloved yet tragically water-logged stick from the river bed floor. We chatted. When Riese was in total turmoil over the floating aluminum can, we adventured down the river to scout where he could retrieve it. Our only adenda to honor his need to not litter. Then Peyton set off on a journey to track his fisherman father, and I gulped a big breathe of air and trusted that being 9 AND A HALF he was capable of walking out of sight along the shore between his daddy and I and would be fine. AND the magical finale came when R rescued a magnificent dragon fly from drowning. We could see the water spraying up into the air, reflecting golden against the sunset, as it beat its wings.

Seriously can't make this stuff up folks. (you can see the video of this in my instastories today.)

I found myself praying that this moment, this afternoon into evening, would outshine all the times that I focus way too much on my children's flaws.

I had forgotten my swimsuit top, I'm in a tank bra, feeling self-conscious about my one more cocktail please and ending every day with a s'more summer belly, but my boys don't care, the only notice that I showed up. In that moment I felt incredibly beautiful and loved.

Earlier that day we had spent it with my dad, and reflecting back, I had felt loved and worthy and capable, humbled as I worked on a project with him that was contributing to something much greater than myself. Loved because he just wanted to be with me, and talk. No agenda to hurry the task along even if I felt the need to complete it.

So where am I going with all this??

I have been thinking about the significance of this day a lot and how these people I love made me feel, I will for surely forget the details, thank you 40. But as we are about to begin this next school year I don't really know how forging across a river translates into brushing AND flossing your teeth without being reminded. Or how we can be a team rather than opposing sides when it's well past bedtime and the giggling has to stop? I am aware that when agendas enter back in, as they must at least partly, that I lean towards dictating and not empowering.

As a mom, at times I feel like I take on the world, often self-imposed, but also if I don't all the balls will fall. And so what if they do? If I'm being strategic about which balls, perhaps I need to become less so my kids can become more.

How can I empower my children in their everyday lives?

Weekly Family Meetings.

Definitely need to drop more balls.

Natural Consequences from their choices and decisions. It is not my problem to solve but I am there to support and encourage them. This one is SO hard!

Remember we are on the Same Team & The Value of Being Heard.

And I LOVE this quote referring to Positive Discipline...

"Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better??" -Jane Nelson

Happy Labor Day! May you feel empowered this weekend and empower someone else. I know how they made me feel is stamped into my heart right now, hopefully longer than the ode to campfire smell in my hair. So that's a start at least.

Empowered. Capable. Loved. Worthy.

Thank you for reading.

Kirsty

Skipping Rocks

2019-08-11T23:21:00.000-07:00

Simple Summer Moments.

I am SURE that the boys have skipped rocks before. They couldn't remember a time, and neither could I. But I'm sure this can't be the first time. No way.

I was so struck by the magic of the light this particular evening. And the simple moments of discovering how to skip rocks and hunting driftwood that became extraordinary. At least to this mama, I don't know if the boys particularly feel this way but I'm banking on these memories settling into their hearts to someday be retrieved and cherished.

How lucky we are to live in a place where this exists just over an hour away from our bustling city lives. This is where I have been this summer, working hard to be present and adventuring with my family. It's not lost on me that our boys will not want us around much longer, no matter how I woo them with fireside s'mores and my famous campfire bean dip - seriously nothing to it but a heaping dose of ambiance and spinach. So it's a lot of UNO - which I whole-heartedly prefer over Exploding Kittens, seriously I don't get that game. And sleeping in a tent (max of TWO nights), I'm all in. I have even discovered the pleasure of wearing socks with Birkenstocks.

I know.

Until I am back in full here, you can see more our summer adventures on my instastories

So THANK YOU for continuing to visit my blog. Expect me back in full force in Sept. I may get around to posting again this summer but Sept, lets say the 10th, I think I should make it official by doing a giveaway...mark your calendars, I promise to make is simple and worth it.

Thank you thank you for visiting The Kirsty Files, from the bottom of my heart.

best
Kirsty

Embarrassment, A Rad Bag and A Striped Jumpsuit.

2019-06-09T19:59:00.001-07:00

Today's Look, A Neutral Jumpsuit with Pops of Contrasting Colors.

Something that I still haven't gotten comfortable with is passerby's observing us taking photos when it's my 10year old snapping the shots. Not going to lie, I get super embarrassed, and try to stall any snaps from happening until they pass. I live in a small enough community that chances are we may know each other, at least by sight. This first photo was captured as my neighbor from two blocks over, you know far enough that they DON'T know I'm a style blogger and take photos but close enough that we stop and chat when walking past, was walking by. I cordially smile hello, and CRINGE inside.

Just another day in the life of mom who often relies on her children for photos snaps.

So there you go. These shots were taken by my not so patient 10 year old. But this neutral striped ruffle jumpsuit was worth the embarrassment. I thought it paired really well with a coral bandana in my hair and pistachio colored tennis. I was quite proud of my outfit. That is the best part of a neutral outfit - there are so many ways to accessorize. This jumpsuit would be so fun with heels and blinging jewelry for any evening out or a jean jacket and ankle booties come fall.

And my bag is the newest addition to Queen Anne Frame & Gift and I am so excited about it. Not only is the style fabulous and has me dreaming of every memory we want to make this summer, living in the city - this bag also empowers a coop of women in Bangladesh to create better futures for themselves and their families...AND I get to sell it in my shop!

SO RAD.

jumpsuit - Traffic People c/o

shoes - Brooks c/o no longer available darnit!

bandana, earrings and bag - Queen Anne Frame & Gift

So that's all folks. Just a quickie. Trying to be better about sharing on my blog again, not just instagram. Can a blog post just be short and sweet and you will still want to read it??

best

Kirsty

For The Fairy Princess In All Of Us.

2019-05-30T04:00:00.000-07:00

DIY floral crowns using pipe cleaners. Genius.

This is the kind of DIY activity for anyone young at heart. It's beautiful, fun, easy to do in groups while gathered around a table. And YES anyone can wear a crown.

Think about your next event...baby showers, bridal showers for sure, book club, cocktail club (if anyone wants to start one of these I'm totally in.), just because, summer solstice...ooh what about a holiday brunch - I mean why should warm weather have all the fun??

Recently Jenn and I hosted an afternoon at Pacific Place, the theme was a Spring Pop-Up and the plan was to make floral crowns. (if you live in the Seattle area, you can follow Pacific Place to see their upcoming events) Having made them in the past, I was a little hesitant at how this was going to go down with 50 people in attendance, thankfully Holly Yee Floral had a plan. And it was brilliant.

The brilliant piece was the headband that your start with, Holly had woven two pipe cleaners together to create the long headband base. Because it was pipe cleaners it was soft and comfortable against the head but sturdy enough to hold up to the weight of flowers, and flexible. You guys isn't that so smart??

The second brilliant piece was making small bouquets of flowers and greenery, about 7 total BEFORE you start attaching, this way you have all your flowers ready to go before you start wiring. So the middle bouquets will be the front of your crown. Holly chose a wonderful assortment of flowers...carnations and roses, billy balls, freesia, wax flowers, mums, eucalyptus, asparagus ferns...really any flowers that you can gather into small bouquets will work, and in my opinion the more greenery the better. Do your research and choose flowers that can hold up to being outside of water for a long time.

Once you have your 7 bouquets ready, start at one end of the woven pipe cleaner headband, leaving at least an inch to tie the ribbon to, and begin wiring the flower bunches at the stems using floral wire. Make sure that the blooms are nearest the end of the pipe cleaners, so when you add the next bouquet you are slightly layering it over the stems of the previous bouquet. Do them all in the same direction. Make sense? Hold your mini bouquet all together against the pipe cleaner and wrap round and round - you don't need to worry about weaving the wire through the holes of the pipe cleaner, simply wrap the wire tight around the flower stems/pipe cleaners a few times till it feels securely attached and then grab the next bouquet and continue the wrapping process.

When you have reached near the other end of the pipe cleaner you are done. You can always add a few extra pieces to hide the end of the stem, or just role with it - stems are pretty too. Attach ribbon to both ends, place the crown on your head and tie it. Done!

Bonus, this thoughtfully planned DIY makes any gathering more beautiful with flowers everywhere, and the best part is how different everyone's crowns will be, yet all equally lovely, and the instant the crown is placed on an individuals head, their eyes will sparkle. You can't help it.

if you make these crowns I would LOVE to know! email me (kirsty@luciakjewelry.com) or tag me (@thekirstyfiles) in your post, it will make my day!!

photos by Saskia

best,
Kirsty

A Quick Moment Among The WildFlowers

2019-05-28T18:12:00.000-07:00

Traffic People Maxi Dress. Honoring that inner voice.

I woke up today (today that I'm writing this post, not today that I took these photos) feeling a lot of anxiety and heavy-burdened. Some hard ongoing health issues for a few people dear to me and a to-do list full of the yucky stuff...dentist appts (nothing like a broken tooth to jumpstart that to the top of the list), reports due, bills to pay. Stuff that just has to get done. In my comfiest sweatpants.

Rewind to the day of this shoot, this dress, feeling ethereal. Hanging out with one of my dearest friends to take photos, doesn't even feel like work at all. Magical evening light and for sure magic in those wild mustard plants.

Both are realities. This is what I love about fashion, it can transport me, elevate my mood, make me feel like I have super human powers...Major TO-DO list to tackle - put on my best, most comfiest sneakers. Feeling like I need an extra person in my corner, I wear the socks my mom gave me for my birthday right before she passed away. Strutting down the street - for sure in my best fitting pair of jeans.

Having the chance to wander through the wildflowers, only a magical dress will do.

These little voices are inside me, and one way I honor them is in what I wear.

About this magical dress, it's from Traffic People. I have posted about this brand before, they are a favorite, for their bright prints and flattering styles. It's a bit vintage and a bit modern, born in the heart of London. Which of course makes them even cooler. You can see more of my favorites here and here.

dress - Traffic People c/o

jewelry (necklaces, tassel bracelets, and earrings) - Queen Anne Frame & Gift

photos by Angie, isn't she great?

best,

Kirsty

Free Flowing In My Red Pants

2019-05-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

That Vacation State of Mind. Can't it be like this always?

Ah, vacation. Am I right? I LOVE vacation, duh - who doesn't? I am actually NOT good at planning or prepping for vacations but I'm getting better. I do however, love putting together outfits for my trip, not a surprise I'm sure. And I love the influence places have on my style, currently I'm still slapping on the self-tanner and wearing big ol' beach hair (well that might be in part from my lack of time to wash my hair.) Beach vibes it is!

These particular pants are so fun, like start busting out crazy legs when walking, because they are just meant to flow. Super comfortable and flattering, and an awesome deep red color. They have just the right amount of interest that elevates an outfit but not so much that they take thought in wearing.

So, when I need a vacation moment as I'm hustling down the street - I'll probably be wearing these.

Few more outfit notes:

My tank top is from one of my favorite brands for tanks and flowy tees. They always fit right in the armpit area and have a wonderful amount of fit and flow. I wear these all summer long. Queen Anne Dispatch carries most of this line, if you are in the Seattle area shop local.

My earrings, speaking of local - YES, I have been looking a long time for seed bead earrings that weren't mass produced crud, but also still affordable. Hello - these are time intensive and the price should reflect the labor. This is a new line I have at my shop, fair trade jewelry working in partnership with a family in Vermont and village in Guatemala.

pants - Bobi, also at Queen Anne Dispatch

tank - Bobi, also at Queen Anne Dispatch

shirt - Bella Dahl, also at Queen Anne Dispatch

earrings - Queen Anne Frame & Gift

Short and sweet blog post today, because if I want to actually post this I have to wrap it up and really these photos do their own talking. It was so fun to be with Angie and shoot again where it all began, for your viewing pleasure here is our very first photo shoot together.

You need to know this outfit is at Queen Anne Dispatch and their Friends & Family event is this Friday - tomorrow! It will all be 20% off, if you live in Seattle get there - shop the day, or join the party (and shop) from 6 - 10pm. If you don't live in Seattle, you can call and ask for Sabrina, they can ship!

Let if flow.

Kirsty

Rhubarb Thyme French Gin Fizz

2019-04-30T22:49:00.001-07:00

"Se Repeter" A Rhubarb and Champagne Cocktail on Repeat.

I am not a food blogger, but I have put this cocktail through rigorous testing. I like it so much that I even measure the ingredients every time! If you know me at all, this is a big deal, I RARELY measure anything and believe recipes are simply a jumping off point. But with this one, I want consistency.

We happened upon this drink by chance, and it's gone through a few improvements to land on the final recipe, which has been on repeat this last month. I've made this for my husband, friends, neighbors, alas we tried to concoct it on vacation, but there was no Rhubarb in Laguna Beach. Like I am buying $5/lb rhubarb because I can't find a ditch to clip it from, putting out pleas to my in-laws and dad who live in the glorious PNW country to keep their eyes peeled. Please brake for Rhubarb. Eating and drinking seasonal makes me so happy, but it's also fleeting. Maybe that's why it's so darn good because it doesn't last very long? So don't wait on this one, start prepping for Friday night folks. You can definitely find Rhubarb at specialty grocery stores in the PNW or in the ditches.

I can't decide if I am just totally smitten with how lovely it looks in my vintage champagne coupe glasses garnished with a sweet sprig of thyme, or it's refreshing spring taste with that delightful layer of foamy goodness on top that I am in love with more. Or perhaps it's that it must be shared because the recipe only really works in pairs.

Se Repeter. Get it? It's Repeat in French (according to google.) I don't know how to say it but I know how to drink it.

Either way we have been getting creative with eating a lot of extra egg yolks - throwing the extras in waffles or french toast batter. Don't waste those golden yolks!

These are wonderful for an occasion. Truly.

Notes on the recipe: Now you can definitely make a rhubarb simple syrup, the reason I prefer macerating is I think the flavor of the rhubarb - or any fruit in general, stays more fresh and bright and true. Why cook it when you don't have to?

Also I think this cocktail would work with many other seasonal fruits, this way it can be a year round affair. That's my plan.

This is a slightly tart refreshing drink, you can always adjust the amount of rhubarb syrup and lemon to make it less tart and more sweet or the other way around. Don't omit the Thyme if possible, it adds a lovely hint of herbaciousness (that should definitely be a word it it's not.). The finishing touch. The egg white is what creates that lovely foamy layer on top.

Macerated Rhubarb.
Ratio of small-medium 1 stalk of Rhubarb thinly sliced to 1/2cup sugar (if it's a large stalk use 1 cup sugar). Place in food processor and blend, store in airtight container and let it set overnight, refrigerate. Strain prior to use, squeezing the rhubarb pulp to get every last drop of juice out. We have made this drink without straining, my husband prefers this method, I prefer it strained. Each to their own.

Cocktail (makes two technically)
2 oz Dry Gin
1.5 Rhubarb Syrup
1/2 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 egg white.
Ice.

Champagne
2 sprigs of Thyme

Mix first 4 ingredients in shaker (mason jar also works) shake vigorously for 10 secs. Add ice. Shake for 30 secs.

Strain into a a very cute cocktail glass, top with champagne. Gently pat thyme sprigs between the palms of your hands or with the back of a knife to release the oils and fragrance, but keep their pretty shape. Float on top of drink.

Enjoy!

Thank you for reading.
Kirsty

Serendipity in Stripes.

2019-04-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

Patterned Denim for Spring...and fish or efficiency?

Well we are currently on Spring Break, which in my mind every year means 9 days to get my act together. This year this includes editing my closet and listing items on Poshmark, gutting the basement and boys room - and forcing them to help me, because in my mind I am teaching them to fish right? but in reality it's the worst idea, I am so much more efficient on my own. Fish? or Efficiency?

I have a love/hate with efficiency. I LOVE it when I am efficient, but I hate that I am always striving for it, and too often measuring my success by it. It's a silly goal adapted from a too busy life, at least this is the case for me.

So maybe we just sit and fish. I will probably need an afternoon nap, and an evening cocktail, because the other side to letting them fish is maddening. update: because this post took 5 days to actually post, we are only conquering their bedroom, why bite off more than we can chew, and it also took mid-cleaning rootbeer float breaks and the promise of extra screen time, now i know what movitates... and folks, we.are.almost.done!

Of course you know I am mixing into spring break several movie nights and snuggling, also ice cream sundaes, sleeping in, and mini adventures - like helping mama make returns and buying our kitten a collar - hey it's all how you spin it, because it's also raining for the next 8 days straight.

We got this.

Oddly enough as I was going through past photos (another spring break goal is organizing and figuring out a storage system that will last for decades, UGH - anyone else find this completely overwhelming.) I happened upon these from last year, and outfit shoot that was never posted, AND just so happen to be wearing these exact pants today, different denim jacket. Serendipity in stripes? I think so. Pretty much every time you add stripes the odds are in your favor.

serendipity: an unplanned, fortunate event. the occorrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

They are definitely going in the keep pile.

Patterned denim is popping up a lot this spring, I saw a pair of floral print denim jeans just last week and I was immediately transported back to some timeframe before I had a mortgage payment, can't quite pinpoint when I was rocking those but I totally did, it was totally nostalgic. How about a matching floral print denim jacket? Oh now that would be fun. And a scrunchy in my hair.

If you aren't quite ready for leopard or floral print denim, just stick to stripes. Not sure how to wear them, well in the warmer months it's easy peasy - just add a white, coral, blue, turquoise, floral, black, gray...tee or tank, and a fave sneaker or sandal. Done.

Even a comfy sweatshirt works with this one, and sneakers. That's what I wore today.

They really are so easy and I love the interest they add to my outfit.

t-shirt - Not Monday c/o
jeans - Lucky Brand, you can still find them here.
sandals - Cocobelle c/o

and a few more striped situations to tempt you...

thanks for reading my rambles today.

best
kirsty

Light As A Feather. 4-way Friday Style Series

2019-04-05T04:30:00.000-07:00

After The Rain Pant Set by Traffic People.

I just got home form a very wet baseball game. Wait, wait, wait - who plays baseball in the rain you ask, well the rain started half way through, and there's no rain delay in AAA. I will have you know our team manager, which also happens to share a home with me, got a piece of my soggy mind.

I'm tired. Ready to crawl into bed. Not ready to sit and write a blog post, but by golly I've committed to 3 this week, yes 3! Thankfully this post is the best kind, with lots of laughter behind it and great fashion.

It's all because of this pantsuit set, well the 3 committed posts are, aptly name After The Rain - no seriously you can't make this stuff up, and it's a fan favorite. Oh my gosh the puns just keep coming. Now that I'm snuggled under a blanket and the feeling is coming back into my fingers my happy thoughts are returning. And how could they not with this get up? When Jenn and I were separately cruising through the latest Traffic People Spring Line, this one caught both of us big time, and a 4-Way Friday Style Series was crafted.

And in our humble opinions, everyone should have a pantsuit set in their closet, if you want to know why check out our posts this week 1, 2, 3, & 4. This set in particular has a wonderfully flattering trouser, high-waisted with pockets, and slightly flared legs. The top has a modern crop and soft fluttery sleeves. The print is sophisticated and playful. What more could you ask for? Hmmmm a foot rub? World Peace? Ok I should have been more specific with that question.

Glam In a Mini Van?

Birds of a feather stick together.

Our style series originated long ago as blog newbies, wanting to share some of the ways we were wearing the same items, showcasing how versatile a favorite piece can be, and let's be honest, fashion is WAY MORE FUN WITH FRIENDS. There is a lot of laughter, um I think I took 100+ photos, thank you Sarah for your patience and not so gentle guidance, to land 15-20 respectable shots. But honestly the goofy ones have come to be some of my faves. Also some creative outfit changes happen in the back of a minivan, hello cracker crumbs. And I wonder why I find undergarments in the straaaaangest places. We usually swap lipsticks and maybe earrings, wish we could swap shoes *sigh* darnit different sizes. People on the street either think we are famous or just totally annoying. Just kidding, mostly annoying but also freakin hilarious. Well at least I think so.

And man I love to laugh, I need to laugh more in fact.

And then its typically race off to school pickup to grab kiddos, turning back into pumpkins you say? No way! This is where the fun really happens, and yes mamas can still sport matching pant sets while mothering - or old sweats if that’s what the mood is calling for.

this is why you don't see my face in most of the photos.

Caption this one??

What, no cocktails? Well it's only 11 am on a school day sooo.

Pantsuit here, c/o Traffic People.

You can also find this brand locally at Queen Anne Dispatch.

So two key take aways here: Find a fashion buddy. and fill your closet with items that make you feel light as air and happy, Traffic People is a great place to start.

Happiest Friday.

best
Kirsty

photos by SWolfe.

Put A Bird On It

2019-04-04T03:30:00.000-07:00

And then wear it... A 4-way Styled Series With What Jenn Wore and Traffic People.

One of my favorite things about Traffic People is the bold and playful prints they use each season. They are those pieces in my closet that bring a smile to my face, satisfying that inner child, and feeling fabulously grown up. Some how they accomplish both.

This week Jenn and I are showcasing the versatility of our Traffic People pantsuit. See Tuesday's look here. For this look with just the top from the pantsuit I chose a casual eclectic look, with a knit pleated skirt and vintage cowboy boots. Since this shirt could be worn many many ways, I wanted to get creative and share just how versatile this piece was. Of course any kind of denim would work. No brainer. I thought this Crane print with it's slight vintage feel would work so well with a knit skirt that has a bit of a Grandma Chic nod - oh yeah, and vintage boots.

I would wear this outfit for an everyday look, and plan to.

shirt - Traffic People c/o

skirt - Numph DK c/o. no longer avail.

boots - Goodwill

earrings & turquoise ring - Queen Anne Frame

Thank you for reading. Head over to Jenn's blog to see her look today. In tomorrow's post I'm sharing some of the fun behind our 4-way shoots, lets just say it takes a lot of photos to get just a few winners.

best,

Kirsty

photos by SWolfe.

The Pantsuit: A Best Kept Fashion Secret.

2019-04-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

My strong suite. A 4-way styled series with Traffic People & What Jenn Wore.

Things that make me look WAY more put together than you are...

dinner in a crockpot. a stylish hat. a chilled bottle of champagne in the fridge. root powder. orange lipstick. pantsuits.

Pantsuits are currently one of the favorite items in my closet. It's versatile - is it one, is it two, top/bottom, just a bottom, and now just a top... and interesting - every time I wear a pantsuit people comment on how much they love my outfit. Somehow I seem WAY more put together than I actually am. You see, a pantsuit takes NO TIME at all, you don't have to think about it, just put it on because it already matches. It's like a dress. But better because if the mood strikes you, you can separate them into other pairings. And do cartwheels if you want to. I'll pass, vertigo. It's just the best fashion hack. Although what does that actually mean? I don't think I totally get the meaning of a "hack." I'm gonna go with fashion secret...but it's not really a secret either.

After this shoot I went home and changed into sneakers and threw on a jean jacket and went to school pickup. I know - I should have photographed it, but sometimes you just have to take my word for it, I can't document it all folks.

Don't you worry though I did take plenty of other photos, to demonstrate the rad versatility and style of this pantsuit, Jenn and I are going to share 4 ways we are styling this set on our blogs this week. This pantsuit is by Traffic People. If you don't know this brand, it's worth noting. Several of my favorite pieces on current rotation are from Traffic People...this one, this one, & this one, which is also this one. You can find this line at Queen Anne Dispatch, you can also order directly from their website.

This line originates in London, I love the vintage style mixed with street trends, bright bold prints and contemporary details. In particular the details of this pantsuit immediately caught my eye...the bold bird print, high waisted pants with pockets, and slightly fluttered sleeves.

top - Traffic People c/o

pants - Traffic People c/o

shoes - oldies.

earrings, turquoise ring, gold necklaces - Queen Anne Frame & Gift

head on over to Jenn's blog to see her suit styling. And check back in throughout the week - there is more goodness to come.

best

Kirsty

photos by SWolfe.

Cocktail Curls. The Curl Files

2019-03-23T19:59:00.001-07:00

An easy, elegant naturally curly hairstyle for an evening out.

SO, for obvious reasons that I think are pretty obvious, it's important to me that people don't just think of straight hair and smooth wand-created curls when they need to be fancy. Why can't we all just be a little bit more unruly and dare I say frizzy. Natural curls are professional, elequeont (even if I can't spell it) and fancy.

To me, big fluffy hair is the perfect accompaniment to a cocktail dress. Black tie event? Go big. Fluff it up.

Variations of this curly hair style are my go-to for evenings out. Side swept always adds interest, is super forgiving - making crazy runaway curls look intentional. Plus you just pick the side that is looking best that day and pin the other side back.

I am loving the trend right now of multiple barrettes. Why should bobby pins be so boring. I dug through my bathroom vanity and found all my old favorites. There's no rules here folks. To get you inspired check out here, here and here. Honestly I am obsessed with all of her barrettes. And more simple but still stackably fabulous here and here.

The Not Really Directions, Directions...
step 1. decide your part, I like to part my hair different then how it is laying that day, this way it creates instant volume at the root. I have been wearing my part more towards the middle lately, so for this look I pulled pieces over from the left.
step 2. I used a little bit of Beautiful Mess to smooth down the side that I was going to pin back, especially all the little baby hairs, a little goes a long way. I also used a touch on the pieces I re-parted - to keep them from flipping back to the original part line.
step 3. pin back with barrettes, make the side swept more dramatic by pinning it back further. I just did a little bit because my curls were behaving (I just washed it yesterday.) If my hair was on a further wash day I would have pinned if further back - maybe all the way to the left side.
step 4. fluff it up and spray with Innersense I Create Finish. Get Dramatic.

What do you think? Did I mention that this hairstyle also takes less than 10 mins. Fantastic, because if I am having a night out, there's usually dinner for the kids and a home that needs picked up, and getting dressed and picking up the babysitter. Already exhausted.

Here are some of my favorite barrettes right now...

Every day styles

Fancy it up a bit.

Happy Fluffing.

best
Kirsty

Family Traditions. Skiing Big White.

2019-03-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

Confession, I was supposed to post this blog post last Friday. Maxed out on my to-do lists and wiped out energy has me putting things on hold too much this week, and not being present. Even more the reason I need to share, and remember the reason, for this post.

Family traditions.
Some are regular, routine, small but special...Friday night movie night, keeping us centered, and absolutely not ok to waiver from, especially for a certain 10 yr old.

Then there are the family traditions that are BIG, happening once a year, that become legendary when we return home and make it into regular dinner conversation. Also not ok to waiver from.

Both write the story of our family and both are super necessary.

This post is about the latter.

As a family we sit down each year and (sort of ) decide where to spend our vacation money, trying to live within our means while knowing how important it is to escape the day to day grind, being intentional and choosy with our trips. Big White was unanimously on the must happen (again) list.

So as I sit to write this blog post, literally in my car in a parking garage taking notes because I have a 15 min gap between to-dos, and my bum is so pleasantly warm, can I get a hell yes for seat warmers, and it's quiet, I'm trying to think of how to not sound like a broken record because I want to write what I wrote last year.

Similar to last year, only faster and steeper - seriously, very concerned how I'm gonna keep up in a few years - Peyton and I are the last men standing. Favorite phrases "mom we gotta do 20 more runs." and "I'm OK!" After a very long wait for him to emerge from a trail, arms held high in triumph, even more disheveled and snow covered than I thought possible. Then on the lift up the story gleefully unfolds..."so, I had to take a deep breathe and unbuckle my skis..." Please note: I was nearby enough in case of real danger, far enough away for real kid adventure. Isn't that a mom's constant balance? "Mom I can just take my skis off and hike up to it." Oh my word and he did.

Let's just say that the hot tub on our condo patio came in VERY necessary for this tired out mama.

I was nearby enough in case of real danger, far enough away for real kid adventure. Isn't that a mom's constant balance?

As a mom this is the thrill for me - seeing my kids eyes light up and watch them maximize their potential. Let me be clear - by maximize I mean they are WILLING to put their ALL in it, fall down and still get back up, while loving (almost) every minute. This is my question - how do I make this happen outside of Big White? Besides the epic memories, this is my take home.

Big White Ski School.
We plan out our stay to spend part of the time with the kids in ski school - this gives our kids stellar skill building on the mountain, seriously the amount of learning and one on one attention they receive is remarkable. I don't know about the rest of the world, but my kids listen so much better to someone other than their parents. Not taking it personal. Alexandre and Sarah, their instructors, take on a bit of celebrity status. Yes, I tear up when they share about each of my kids on the last day of pickup. OK I'm that mom. Ski school also gives us adults, adult time. Imagine that. Oh I love my kids, of course I do, but a family vacation with adult time. Yes please. Besides the wonder and exhilaration that skiing this mountain stirs inside me, I can't help but get lost in the beauty and majesty of Big White. And well I would for surely get lost if not for following the leader, which is not me. But the maps I do love seeing show all the places my kids skied at the end of their lesson, another very cool point not to be left out - the trackers the kids wear, so at the end of our trip, we reminisce through it all while watching all the squiggly lines on the mountain map. Visuals are so cool.

Take note: before ski school pickup, stop for a slope side beer next to the fire pits at The Woods. Your welcome. It's exactly what that transition needs.

Other Must Do Family Activities.
Tubing is saved for the last evening of our trip, it eases the fact that we are saying goodbye to the slopes. The squealing, spinning, running and laughing that this single activity creates is remarkable. Something about being in the snow after dark, under the lights, that I can't quite explain. I highly recommend this for your itinerary, whether a no spinner or a crazy spinner, it's a family favorite. There's also many events during the week, from bingo night at Happy Valley Lodge to a weekly firework show and kids carnival. Check out the calendar here. My 10yr old states "Big White is sponsored by families mom." True story, after dinner at our condo, we head out for hot cocoa at the Happy Valley Lodge which requires, for those who wish this route, to tumble through the snow under twinkling lights, then a gondola ride to our destination.

Way to save:
Share accommodations. Plus it's so much more fun with friends. Also many places have full kitchens so you can bring your own food, and since every place is skiable, walkable or gondola rideable you can easily stop for lunch and snacks right off the slopes.

There are options to redeem air miles for lift tickets, also if you are lucky enough to be in the 4th or 5th grade and attend school in Canada you can ski for free! What?! Don't mention this to my boys or we will be moving for two years. Multi day ski passes get you access to evening skiing as well. My goal next year, to ski after dinner...somehow that hot tub and cocktails have won thus far. And if you fly Alaska into Kelowna (they have shuttles to Big White) you can ski for free same day with your boarding pass. You can see more deals and packages here.

The Snow.
Besides the family focused nature of this resort and it's absolute majesty, I can't end this post without mention of the snow. It's a dry light powder wonderfully named Champagne Powder. Cheers. How perfect is that?...and they receive an average of 25ft of it each year! It's what ski dreams are made of. If you are accustomed to Pacific Northwest snow, which can sometimes be affectionately referred to as cement, this snow is exactly opposite.

You can't help but be your best skier self on these slopes. And no matter where you roam on the mountain, there are runs to fit every ski level. This is part of what makes skiing as a family so memorable, we aren't restricted to one novice chair at the base of the mountain, the entire terrain is our playground.

Thank you for reading and happy friday! You can see more of our Big White adventure in the highlights of my instagram.

best,
Kirsty

Thank you to Big White Ski Resort for partnering with our family for this post.

Rain Rain Go Away, But Actually Stay This One Time Please.

2019-02-14T21:45:00.002-08:00

Today was the FIRST day back to school since a half day last Friday, the week of which we only actually had two days total of school, and - stay with me here folks - we are about to have 9 days off. SO that means in 3 weeks we will have had 3.5days of school. SO as rain started to fall today, I started to have heart palpitations thinking I saw snow flakes - turns out it was just flying off the truck in front of me on the freeway.

I love my kiddos, I love spending time with my boys. It's just A LOT harder when there is a to-do list and agenda that was not accounted for when plans changed.

All this to say, as it poured rain today, and I breathed a sigh of relief, it's about time I share this raincoat. I firmly believe fashion and function does exist, and there is definitely a place for function in fashion, especially in motherhood. We schlep our crew around in ALL elements, so why not find a rain jacket that keeps you dry and that you feel great putting on.

Designer and Founder Wendy currently lives in Seattle, not much better place to be inspired by rain. The water repellant fabric used for Feller Raincoats is made from traditional British waxed cotton fabric and made in the USA. Feller also gives back to the Seattle Humane Society, a place that has become near and dear to my family as the newest furry member of our family, Gilligan, or as my son has decided Gilligen, has entered our life, rescued by the Humane Society.

raincoat - Feller c/o

see more outfit details here.

thank you for reading. Do you think it should be Gilligan or Gilligen?

Happy Friday!

best
Kirsty

Photos by Sarah.

Finding Rest In Wash Day. The Curl Files

2019-02-05T21:57:00.000-08:00

I purposely let my hair washing routine be high-maintenance, carving out a couple hours during the week - this includes air-drying time folks - stay with me. I have come to realize this one of the only times during the week that I rest and take me time to pause, reflect, meditate in prayer pose, and literally rest pose. Who knew all of this was included in my hair washing?

I try to make it intentional. A favorite scrub in the shower. Coffee/Tea/Cocktail - depending on the hour of the day obviously, enjoyed while I diffuse.

I feel rejuvenated and refreshed. I really should do it more often.

A close friend of mine referred to it as my curl meditation, and I'm totally on board with that.

Rosemary Maple Bourbon Sour

2019-02-05T21:45:00.002-08:00

well it was SUPPOSED to be posted "tomorrow" two days ago, stay with me - then we had two snow days. So there you go. Life. And perhaps even more of a reason to put these on your cocktails to be made tomorrow list.

They are sort of a year round go-to...the maple screams fall. The bourbon warms you in winter, and the bright fresh sour lemon gives you spring fever into summer refreshment. It's all perfectly balanced for any time.

This recipe came from one of our favorite cocktail recipe books, Shake, you can find it in our shop Queen Anne Frame & Gift. If you live in Seattle that is what you should do, come visit us.

Recipe makes 1 serving. We just multiple for however many are sipping, and make in one big batch.

1 1/2 oz Bourbon

3/4 oz Fresh Lemon Juice (please use fresh)

1/3 oz Maple Syrup

1 small sprig rosemary, more for garnish if you wish.

Ice

Smack the rosemary between palm of your hands. Mix rosemary and all the above ingredients in a shaker with ice (you can simply use a mason jar). Shake vigorously for at least 15 seconds, pour into lowball glasses with more ice. Garnish with Rosemary.

Enjoy!

cheers to back to school tomorrow.

Thank you for reading

Kirsty

photos by Kristen

Tapestry Weaving, Bourbon Cocktails & Bacon Flights.

2019-02-01T14:15:00.000-08:00

Sounds like a fabulous way to spend a winter afternoon am I right?

It's still January, barely, well ok when I started writing this post is was, so Happy February Y'all...and I'm still talking about what I want to make sure I do LOTS of in the next 11 months, or really just always.

Setting intentions, and one of my favorite things over the last year was gathering with girlfriends to create. I want to do this more, I need to do this more. It fills my soul and I love being creative in different ways.

This is why I love the Crafters Box subscription, they find the coolest crafts and gather everything needed to make it happen, including an inspirational instruction video, all you have to do is get a date on the calendar with your friends, gather the ingredients for your favorite cocktail, and in this case, add bacon...

We kept our Cocktailing Crafternoon very simple this time...

Sally mixed up a brilliant winter cocktail, Rosemary Maple Bourbon Sours. These are the right balance of sweet and sour with a solid foundation of good bourbon. Best trick for any cocktail, add a sprig of any herb, immediately ups your drinking game style. Most likely you have something growing in your yard that will do just the trick. Stay tuned tomorrow, yes tomorrow for the recipe.

Erin had the brilliant idea of Bacon Flights. Have you ever heard of this? Basically pick your favorite, may I suggest Rosemary Candied, Praline and Bourbon Brown Sugar Maple, the fourth was a thick cut peppered bacon, simply serve them in mason jars with little menu tags. The easiest and most popular dish at any gathering.

Of course no gathering is complete without a cheese plate, and an heirloom pumpkin bread rounded out our brunch. It was divine. I'm salivating now, and it's bedtime. darnit.

Our craft was tapestry weaving, using the Pibione technique, an ancient practice kept alive by a group of artists on the island of Sardinia in Italy. How cool is that? This may be my favorite one yet. The loom was handcrafted in studio in San Diego, and the incredible fibers we used were hand-dyed indigo, Merino Wool and even recycled water bottles. This is why I'm so crazy about the Crafters Box. Even if I happened upon the idea of Pibione tapestry weaving, finding all these amazing materials and the talented artists to instruct, it's really an incredible product.

We spent most of our time together assembling our looms. The best part is that there is a part two to this project, so stay tuned for our finished projects.

Happy Friday. Thank you for reading.

Photos by Kristen (that cute baby belly pictured above.) Thank you to Sally for letting us use her wonderful space.

best,
Kirsty