Her wings of water in my hands. My spirit of silk in hers. Who could have thought that with a simple touch you can create? With a touch, you are. With a touch, you are not. The silkworm, the simple silkworm… His gift for her – being and not being. Both, together. In return she gave him what he couldn’t reach: peace and love in his heart, all coming from her. Only as she was by his side. She had so much to give… The stupid worm… The stupid simple silkworm… Ignorant, as usual. Everything was laid in front of him. Why couldn’t he see? Stupid simple silkworm. He was buried down in sand, in time… In the past, in his past. He couldn’t break free. His tears had become sweet – her gift to him. The poor thing learned that he is just a little worm, still crawling with no butterfly wings. The metamorphosis would take place eventually when she is long gone.

With a simple touch, you are not. Nothing did he do to prevent it. Everything in front of him, the shell, his shell, her wind and even his salty sea were against him. They served another purpose: ripening him. The set he laid before. A twisted plan for those with a noble heart… only because he didn’t have one. He was in misery, he couldn’t love. He did not know how. A simple worm was holding in his hands the heart of the greatest creature. The swallow in love with him. Stupid simple silkworm. Why couldn’t he keep it there? Holding and supporting her… Giving back scraps of his soul, what he had been given, nothing more and nothing less than pure love. He had none to give. How could he?

I should be thankful for I was hers. I thought it was a game. And I lost. The big game of life. Why should we play? Why should we put on this mask? Cannot we be responsible for our actions if we’re not IN the game? What if we’re not in the game anymore? With our social masks put away, naked in front of them. Powerless. This is life. There are no rules. Nobody and nothing respects THEM. Being in love or being crazy is in fact the same thing after THEIR rules.

Breaking my limits. What is that? Everyone wants it. Everybody needs it. Going beyond yourself or staying in touch with your soul. Going deeper rather than going away. The easiest thing to search is, to keep searching. Should we hold on to what you have, you’ll be then the happiest person alive. Looking at your past and see nothing. Nothing but a heart. Not yours, but hers or his. This is love. Having it. With you.

- socrates

it’s not only me and believe, i wish it was. i… am, this is what i do all day, i think obsessively. i’m not and i know i am. i’m the absence in me. why aren’t you? dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum. what am i? the sum of my experiences? of yours!?

i am what i am and i am nothing else than what i am. i am to be and i will always be what i am. i am amun-ra, i am the morning star, i am life among the living, i am the dead among the dead. why aren’t you?

i know what i am and i think all that i know. i cannot teach you anything, but i can only show you, i can only make you think. i’d like you to come and feel the smell of wings, the fear of spears. why ask the silent pain? dare me.

i live your darkest secret.

i see the education i’ve been given - it’s very close to indoctrination, to inoculation. very early in life i came to realize i was fed the same lessons over and over again. i hated the education that was poured so heavily down my throat. go to school! learn! …you will play later. go to college! learn! …you will play later. go to work! work! …you will play later. no. i can’t live like this. each day i wake up, go to work, come home at five, eat, watch tv and go to sleep. this isn’t living. i am a prisoner in my own home.